Howdy, partner!
What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.
Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.
The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:
~~~~~
>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."
~~~~~
Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.
If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.
If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.
If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.
Thread 146, every big tree starts as little sticks!
1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
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133 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27091818
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136 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27243315
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139: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27404496
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142 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27517724
143 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27582821
144 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27651717
145 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack
Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https:/desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki
Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Applepie!
>>27763236
The shocking first scandal of Applejack's campaign!
Her numbers are going through the roof!
>>27763205
>dat logo
>right when /pa/ gets political
That synchronicity, man.
>>27763224
Desustorage is dead, dude
>>27763302
Read it again, man.
Then if you still don't get it, open one.
>>27763285
It's specifically AJ VS Rarity right now too.
Perfection.
>>27763321
Says they are running out of space and might jump again
They are also asking for donations
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia'
~~~
>Tia? Gotta question.
"Shoot. And I mean that literally shoot. Yourself, me, the wall, whatever you feel like. I'll take anything at this point just to feel alive."
>Har har, poor sunhorse. But to mah' question. How often do mayors have elections? Is it like, every year? Cause Ah' don't remember ever seein' one.
"...how would I possibly know that!? Do you see a mayor of Canterlot around here!?"
>So ya' don't know?
"No!"
>Whens the last time ya' checked?
"Never!"
>So then, ya' don't even know if anyone's actually doing it, or following any rules ya' might not even have made.
"..."
>The Equestrian mayoral system is messed up and it's all yer-
"YOU CANNOT HURT ME IN DEATH!"
BLAM!
>>27763523
NC
'???'
~~~~
"HOW!?"
>Ah' just had a little help with some dreamwalkin'.
".."
'Sister! Tis all your fault!'
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Going off the Varry bones idea
I'd only really like it if Varry wanted absolutely nothing to do with it and was either complaining the whole time or actively cheering for Chitania as she was puppeted against her will.
Like:
>Yes, please, kill me! I was out of the damn shame corner for fucking ONCE!
>>27763601
If she was complaining about it, it would be from the afterlife, there wouldn't be any consciousness left in the body, not even kinda. Why?CHITTY RIPPED HER FUCKING SKULL OFF
Pinkie Preview Prophecies
>Applejack needs to reform the dental plans.
>I call it Pink's landing!
>Rarity makes a good point.
>Twilight tries to make up with old friends.
>Rainbow Dash is a dive bomber.
>Fluttershy needs to sneeze.
>Special guest star, Oatprah!
>Cape fanservice!
>>27763652
And then spit in it.
Cause Chitty's kinda nasty when she's mad.
>>27763652
I kinda want this now, just to see the NC stories where Varry loses her shit while technically getting everything she ever wanted.
>Twilight
"???"
~~~
>You know what?... I'm going to fix this! Yeah! Princess of friendship, on the case! Gonna get back up, gonna get back in the game, gonna win! Everybody get back PRINCESS TWILIGHT is here! And she's gonna fix her friendships!
"So does that mean you're going to talk to the other Elements of Harmony?"
>GAH!... Potatojack!?
"Yo."
>How long have you been standing there?
"Long enough to hear the speech, not long enough to hear the context."
>...what the heck are you holding?
"A potato."
>...
"Amf... mrpghammgpmg."
>I... I don't...
"Mrphmompppgm."
>...what.
"Mrphhh."
>WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER!?
CLACK
ZZZZZZZ!
>YOU GET BACK HERE! SHE IS A CLASSY LADY! CLASSSYYYY!
>>27763891
Damn, PJ, vanish for threads on end and when you come back, that?
You got problems.
>>27763662
>Oatprah!
YOU GET A CART YOU GET A CART EVERYBODY GETS A CART!
There, I got it out of the way, now we can do something else with the prompt.
>>27763601
It actually would be an interesting homage to Kiryu...
>>27764490
And mechagodzilla, depending on how long her head stays attached.
>>27763570
That's pretty mean, when you think about it.
Holy shit, check you the last few post of the previous thread!
>>27764971
What are the last few attempts to get doubles?
>>27765161
Personally I love seeing them fail, with one offs or a single zero. It's like a tease.
>>27765202
It's more or less a fun way to bump.
Singles please~!
>>27765202
It's more or less a fun way to bump.
Singles please~!
>>27765530
Ugh, I hate it when it doesn't show up right away, it makes me think I didn't post and makes me post again like a fool!
>>27764817
That is the whole point of this bit. AJ doesn't have to come and rub it in that it is Celestia's fault for every little thing, but she does it anyway. It is her calculated revenge for being forced to fix it.
>>27763969
Such is the fate of FOTM anime reference characters
>>27765646
Still in top five fav other characters that aren't ponies.
>>27765646
Well if we actually sent her off on an adventure and actually use her junk, she'd be fine... I wonder if potatoes grow in caves... hmm...
>>27765738
Now I'm wondering, too... Huh.
>>27765646
I think she actually managed to outlast her flavor of the week show in popularity. I never see it talk about anymore.
>>27766014
Oh yeah, she definitely has. We've basically turned her into her own character who just happens to use that gear and cut down giant foes.
....even though she's yet to actually cut down anything.
>>27765612
Yep. She will Hunt her, to the ends of the Earth.
>>27766264
We are weird like that, she has hopes and dreams makes choices, she even gets to fight in battles.
What was supposed to be a one-page reference turned into something that now only has that one running gag where she keeps trying to go at Chitanita's neck to even turn her into her origin
>>27766578
To last thread asshole. The question to chrysalis was
Would you be willing to go back to being a nomadic, starving species? Shrinking every day. But ponies who didn't take you in and forgave you for mind and actual rape don't get inconvenienced for a few hours. Say yes or these guys you just met who don't like you or your kind will know you don't really regret it.
>>27766915
On phone didn't mean to quote you >>27766578
>>27766014
AoT fell out of favor long before PJ dropped of the face of the earth.
>SA
"Pinkie"
'18'
~2~
(???)
~~~
>Told you this place was nice.
"You know, you're right, it is a nice place... even if all they serve are Crystal Berries."
>Yeah, our menu selections are kind of hard to fill out, what with having to import mostly. Cost of living in the Empire is on par with Canterlot, even, despite not being the living place of a kinda-immortal ruler.
'We're working on it!'
"Awww, calm down Teeny, I know you're a little miffed Shiny included me when he asked if we want to go get some lunch, but still."
'I am not!'
"..."
'...retracted.'
~DANG IT! Why is findin' the end of the maze so hard!?~
>Because that's a word search, honey.
~Well it ain't a fun search!~
"What're you guys ordering?"
>The worst food I can find, I need to put some flab back in me.
'Whatever, I can eat pretty much everything.'
~Cause we're livin' on love!... Literally!~
"You think they're doing anything interesting back in Canterlot?"
>Probably preparing for that meeting, it'll be a couple days and Cadence will want them ready.
"Riiiiight, point.... hrm..."
>What?
"I wonder, are you meeting anyone soon?"
FWOOSH!
(Shining Armor and Cadenza presently have no upcoming meetings with any royals, sub royalty, higher seated officials or individuals who require any protection.)
"Oh... thanks, Forty Two!"
(Of course.)
FWOOSH!
"...So she knows we can see her behind the plant, right?"
'Just pretend you can't see her, she needs this.'
>>27766994
(IGNORE ME!)
>>27763662
... i JUST noticed no CMC prompt.
Huh.
>>27767198
OH GOD, WE'RE LOST AND ADRIFT!
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!?
>Nightguard
"NG2"
~~~
>Are we supposed to intervene with Princess Luna in times like these?
"We're supposed to wait for her to call us."
>Yeah, but... she looks like she needs help.
"Can't move, gotta wait for her to call us."
>It reeeeally seems like she would appreciate the help.
"Or be mad at us, because she didn't call us."
>But-
"Orders are orders, buddy, cut it out."
>...She... she does know we're here, right?
"..."
>...
"...Let's see where this goes."
>OH COME ON!
>>27766264
She cut down some robots.
... It was cool when Jack did it.
>JJ
“Actarius”
‘32’
~~~~
>…
“…”
‘…What?’
>…
“…”
‘What is it, why do you two keep staring like that?’
>…
“…”
‘What!? What is it!?’
>…
“…”
‘Tell me right this second what the matter is!’
>…
“…”
‘Alright, if you don’t stop this nonsense right now, I will unleash a fury like none have ever-‘
CRASH!
>MY HEAD!
“JJ!”
‘…Oh, the plant was starting to fall. I see… why the devil didn’t you catch it?’
“Hold on, I’ll get some bandages!”
>ACTY WAIT!
SLAM!
>…Oh no…
‘Bit of an over-reaction, you’re not even-‘
SPLASH!
‘What… wha-‘
SLAM!
“…I’ve decided against the bandages.”
‘Did you fall into my toilet!?... HOW!?’
“It was a swimming pool.”
‘Last I checked, I don’t have a swimming pool in my damned bathroom!’
“You won’t understand.”
‘WHAT!?’
SNAP!
>WAH!
THUMP!
‘My chair! You’re paying for that!’
>…
“…”
‘WHAT!?’
“This is gonna be a long workday.”
>>27767766
So it is alive... But what does it mean!?
>Gambling
“Quicksilver”
~~~
>That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!
“The changeling invasion was an inside job! There, I told you something dumber, better?”
>But- but it was-
“Now, the reason this is going to work is simple, either it works, or you break my legs.”
>I wasn’t going to break your legs, you’re a guard, that’s illegal-
“Now, all we have to do is meet up with that guy, I vouch for you, and then you get your job back like you wanted, and all is forgiven debt wise!”
>I was thinking a reduction at best-
“Yes! This is the correct answer! Now, where does he live?”
>How would I know that?
“Oh come on! ONE JOB! You had one job in all this!”
>I’m sorry-
“Don’t be sorry, be proactive! How are we going to fix this?”
>Why are you putting this on me? This was your idea-
“For you! This wasn’t for me, it was for you!”
>Well, technically it’s all for you so I don’t break your legs-
“Which you totally can’t do, cause I’m a guard.”
>I thought you said-
“Look, let’s just sit here for a second and think, we’ll figure something out.”
>Okay, how long-
“I’ve got it!”
>Infiltration and mindtaking? I can do that, because changeling.
“What? No, I was going to get an address book.”
>Oh. That’s way easier.
“Hrm. Can I arrest you for that?”
>For listing something I can do? Sure, if you don’t mind me suing you-
“TO THE ADDRESS BOOK!”
>I do not feel safe with any of this. This feels like a trap.
“Huh, what a coincidence, ponies talk about traps with me all the time for some reason, weird!”
>Wait, wha-
“ADDRESS BOOK HO!”
>Celestia
“Guard’
~~~
>…Eeeee…
“So uh… do you suppose things are going well with the others?”
>I hope not.
“…come again?”
>If they’re not going well, then I get a better letter. The more stuff goes wrong, the more they have to write about. The more they have to write about, the more I get out of it. This is hopefully going to be a glooorious letter.
“But if it all goes wrong, then won’t you have to clean up the mess? It’s not happening in Ponyville or wherever, this is Canterlot politics she’s dealing with, anything she messes up you have to fix.”
>…
“…”
>…say that last part again?
“I said anything she messes up, you have to fix.”
>…
“…”
>…
“…”
>…
“…M-…Majesty?”
>…you win again, Applejack…. You win again.
>>27768299
Couldn't even give her this, could you AJ?
>>27768299
Silly Celly, you can never win.
>CC
“Derpy”
~~~
>…Yes.
“Okay, so just so we’re clear, you do know this will get us arrested, right?”
>Pffft, I’m hardcore enough to survive in prison. One time, I had to sit in time out for a whole half hour, barely cried.
“Wow… all that time?”
>Yeah, kinda put a sour on the rest of my sweet sixteen birthday though.
“…”
>But nevermind! For this is not going to get us arrested, it shall get us praised like all the greats! Like Princess Twilight, never saw her getting arrested for brainwashing and making all of us attack each other, did you?
“Even though she probably should have been.”
>No, we’re not getting arrested, when this day is done, they shall sing our praises! We shall be… the winners!
“The winners of what?”
>Yes.
“Ohhhh.”
>…You don’t get it, do you?
“I think I do, this time!”
>Good.. can you tell me?
“…”
>…I got nothing.
>>27768358
She didn't even do anything this time!
>>27768764
That's what makes it so funny.
>Dash
“Harry”
~~~
>…Well you’re going to have to move.
“GRRUUHGHH”
>Don’t yell at me, it’s just how it has to be!
“Gurghh!”
>This is important, you’re in the spot.
“GURUGGHGH!??”
>Yes, this spot is important. Like, super important.
“GURGHGH!”
>I know she’s big, but it has to be this spot.
“..”
>…Mooovee…
With a huffing, snarling grunt, the bear shuffled to the side.
>Little mooooree…
He shook with rage, but did as she asked, and a little more to the side he went.
>Mmmmmoooooreeeeesoclosesoclose…
His teeth cracked and he sucked in air sharply through his nose as he laboriously, slowly, stepped to the side.
>Ehhhhhhh…
His glare could have melted steel.
>…that’ll do. Okay!
Abruptly, she shot up straight into the air, leaving behind a barely visible streak of rainbows in her wake. Up high, high above them all, he could just barely make out her cry.
>Rain… boooooooOOMMMMMMBBBB!
Far easier to make out was the audible ‘PFT!’ as she harmlessly smacked against the body, not so much as making it twitch.
“…”
>THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
>PJ
“Blueblood”
~~
>MRPHMMHMM!
“How exactly did you manage this?”
>MRPHHHH!
“No, you go ahead and yell at me all you want, I’m not moving until I get some answers to this.”
>MRORHRHR!
“Fine, if you don’t want to tell me how you literally became a giant, walking ball of potatoes, then I’m simply not going to help you.”
>…mrphrm.
“Stalling? Because I have no idea how to get them off? Do not be silly, this is all about you, and what you’re not telling, which is how this happened.”
>MRMRMROH!
“It’s not supposed to rain today.”
>MPRH HUMMN! NUHHH YHHN CHHNK USSHNNHMMPOHHH!
“How dare you! My mother was a saint!”
>MMRMRROOOOOO!
>>27769483
Which tells us just how much she must have been disappointed in him... if she was alive anyway.
>>27769507
Dissappionted at which stage? I think they'd be square with him after all he's done since his mad sniper days.
>Velvet
“Nightlight”
~~~
>So how much longer until this stuff works?
“Velvelt…”
>Look, I paid good money for this fertility stuff, and I don’t see my dozen or so grandbabies yet!
“First off, that is way too many.”
>For a parent, sure, but being a grandma to all the babies is completely doable.
“Skipping a part there.”
>You’re skipping me having a dozen grandbabies!
“Look, honey? You can give them all the possibly illegal drugs you want-“
>They said it was untraceable!
“-but the truth is, they’re not going to have any babies of any kind until they… you know, have sex.”
>And?
“…”
>What?
“…”
>…You mean, they don’t all the time?
“…”
>But… but they’re married.
“I was shocked as you.”
>This… this makes no sense, my world is just… bwoooshooo.
“This generation, honey, I swear.”
>I need to clear my head, can you go get your whip while I strap myself into the swing?
“Ehhh, my wrist kinda hurts.”
>It’s going to hurt a lot more this week if you don’t get moving.
“And accepted. To the whips!”
>…This generation, I swear…
>>27769932
Not everyone is as horny as yo two!
>>27770140
And because of it, no Flurry Heart.
So... Not really all that bad.
>>27770225
Not yet at least...
>>27770246
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Two skadoo we can Blue!
>>27769932
I love these two so fucking much.
>>27770266
Also, based reference, but I would have said 'have' instead of 'can', cause we do have blue and we don't need no stinking Flurry.
>>27770345
>cause we do have blue and we don't need no stinking Flurry.
I'm still waiting for her, I'm sorry, those NC stories around the premier time totally sold me.
I want my protective big sister Two and I want her now!
>>27770392
She was adorable... but then we have to deal with FH existing.
Consider if you really want this.
>>27769932
>Igneous
"Cloudy"
~~~
>Mine wife, I worry for our daughters. None of them have made us grandchildren yet.
"Give them time, husband, they must find the one right for them."
>...no they don't, they just have to go up to a rock. Remember? We have that.
"Oh, right."
>...
"...Have we ever questioned this rock before?"
>Surely, one of our family did, at some point.
"Surely."
>There is not a chance we went generations and never even looked into it.
"Has to be verified."
>Has to be.
"..."
>...
"...do you wish to distract from the boredom in the bedroom?"
>Hmm... yes.
"I shall get the airship oil."
>>27770564
Airship Oil!? HOW LEWD!
Also progress has made the average pony less lewd over the years, with each generation it's less and less but there are exceptions. Also this means that Celestia and Luna are the lewdest of Pones. What with Celly's desire to be filled like an eclair and Luna painting lewd stallions in her moon tower.
>>27770603
Or they went in a wavecurve ala-the 1900's.
Early 1900's? Way less sex than you would expect. Unlike Victorian England, this wasn't just some propaganda that got out of control(turns out those guys were FREAKS), early 1900's were very conservative, if frequent, with sex.
Then came the Baby Boomers and the Free Love Sixties!
Then we kinda mellowed out in the 80's and 90's thanks to the AID's scare.
It's not a simple graph, it's a wavelength.
>>27770468
>You want this kid?
>I want that kid!
>You want you want-
>I WANT THAT KID!
>>27770692
So Lulu might not even be for sexual at all?
>>27770603
Hey, everyone was painting like that back in the day, doesn't mean it was all bout the sex.
>>27770917
She did it to drive Celly up the wall with need I think.
LAST THREAD RECAP, EVERYTHING IS BURNING AND WE FEEL FINE EDITION!
>32 gets no love from a nurse.
>AJ does not want to dress up for the maretonians
>Fuzzy and the Buzz give an update!
>Idris and Cheese aren't moving.
>Actarius and JJ continue to flee the worm until some quick thinking from JJ puts it down! That thinking? Lasers.
>He uses lasers.
>18 and shiny almost have a nice moment, until Pinkie makes him think it's a trap and he jumps out the window.
>Rather than being shocked, the pair do Cheeks and Gong impressions, while Spitfire catches Shiny.
>She also drops him thanks to 42, but that's neither here nor there.
>Derp does not understand the sodium count of shellfish.
>Rarity finishes her proposal, and after getting yays or nays from an empty room, puts it forward to be voted on, and hopes the others won't be too hard on her
>Dash needs to know if Griffons are magical.
>Twilight clears up the matter with Cheerilee, learning Harry was a volunteer guard and was just mad he got passed over for Captain. After some debate, Cheerilee points out he has no commanding or training experience, and Harry reluctantly accepts the second in command position. Twilight, completely gone by this point, simply throws up her hooves and goes OKAY! 77 continues to be baffled.
>Now, 77 and Harry are working together, and it's kind of working out?
>Luna, after some talking, gets Trixie out of prison.
>They immediately go drink, and after fending off some ageism for Marey, get drunk. 29 was going to be the sober one, but misunderstood what a long island iced tea is.
>Drunk off their asses, they try to make it back home, while trailed by a nightguard. Eventually, they need help, and Luna has to step in.
>Long story short, they end up lost in the woods, nearly eaten, and 29 is currently drowning.
>Centitrain is going to starve at this rate.
>AJ, Chrysalis and Cadence get bored waiting, and Twilight walks past them uttering a single word.
>Bear.
>They don't get it.
1/5
>>27771082
>18 is as shocked as anyone that Pinkie wants to make another Partyland.
>The changelings are feeling a little depressed.
>Celly doesn't care if this all goes bad if she gets letters.
>Fluttershy and Dash find the animals at her cottage made a mini society.
>Celestia, or rather her recording, tells Jetset and Spike their faults, and says she's going to put them through a test now to get them back on track. Reluctantly, they accept.
>18 has some reasonable problems with AJ and Chrysalis meeting maretonians.
>Aj's attempts to be smooth go awry.
>Screwloose has some... rather interesting opinions when it comes to backdoor fun, and thinks 56 is sick because of it.
>Pennydrop loves watching the others look on in shock.
>OOCO Spike goes off to get a rare Eagle Parrot back. It ends with dead bodies and a smoke buddy.
>The changeling used to be cooler.
>Pommel does a last roundup before going after the illegal sugar distributes, noticing that someone has been painting on a Peactrotter, and think's it's weird.
>The changelings admit they suck, they used to be cooler, and that they're doing nothing now. So one of them proposes a revolution!
>Not that kind.
>He just wants to tell the Queen to make them cool again. Really.
>The others let him go and vow never to speak of it again if he ends up dead.
>Twilight, looking for Spike, find a guard with the worst timescehdule ever.
>Dash, needing to break into Fluttershy's cottage, has a terrible idea she thinks is brilliant.
>Long story short, after she uses FS as a battering ram and Rainbooms her into the shield, it releases a wave of chaos, knocking over a fillyscout and turning her giant.
>Now, Ponyville has to band together to fight them, and Dash is at the helm with something to prove.
>It's all going poorly.
>SA and Spitfire confuse 42.
>10 learns of Ponyville being attacked, and rides BBB over there.
2/5andI'mstillalive!
>>27771096
>In order to calm Ponyville, 77 announces his new captainship, to some understandable confusion. Revealing Harry is his SOC does not help matters.
>But still they accept it, because what else are they going to do.
>SA needs to get back up to the window. Mane-Iac helps... goes about as you expect.
>But that's okay, because he's healed with the magic of Two Hugs!
>AJ and Chrysalis really do not feel this, but Cadence tells them not to panic and just take it easy, they have plenty of time to prepare.
>Right on cue, a massive peacock airship arrives, and it's carrying not only the maretonians, but Saddle Arabians as well!
>Now's a good time to panic.
>77 and Harry trying to form a plan goes poorly, so Harry leaves.
>Actarius and JJ, at last, are out of hope. Sure they're going to die, they resign themselves to starving, and are ready to let it happen.
>Then 32 opens the door, and they bolt in joy. But before they can warn him, he shuts the door and goes through another!
>Only for it to be fine and everything is normal.
>The Embassy is completely normal.
>Unsure if it's a dream, one thing they know for sure is nobody will believe them.
>The CMC somehow flooded a toymakers-who sounds weirdly like Mario-shop, and are now heading towards a light fixture. This will end well.
>AJ calls bullshit when Chrysalis hides behind her disguise.
>The first meeting, after that, goes poorly, with Cadence having to make stuff up to explain Cadence being weird, and Aj being nervous.
>Buckler gets access to the hatch, and the guard raid begins.
>Partyland is approved, and everything is wonderful!.. for them!
>Celestia can't wait for a letter.
3/5andI'vegotjive!
>>27771103
>Sunset and Chitania's experiments aren't producing as much fruit as she hoped, and they need to get more materials. When she learns they were only low due to a rival gang, Chitania reluctantly accepts to go deal with them, and begrudgingly thanks Sunset for helping.
>When she leaves, Sunset says aloud she knows Chitania won't leave, she still needs her.
>Sweet Note, meanwhile, enjoys the fun of the new digs.
>Rarity remembers why she was so hesitant about helping the Canties when she talks to one.
>Twilight realizes she is a bad princess of friendship when she remembers her Canterlot friends, and vow to do better.
>2, 18 and Pinkie are clearly just messing with Shiny now.
>Silver Spoon is bored and angry, but she won't give up on DT yet.
>After the royals go to a meeting room things get awkward.
>When they bring up if the changelings are influencing A and co again, things get real awkward.
>With screaming.
>AJ lets it all out how sick she is of everything she does being questioned and how much everyone assumes it's a changeling whenever she does something they don't like, and tells them to cut it out.
>The Maretonian and Arabian snaps back that this means it was her who pardoned Chitania, meaning they couldn't get at her and deliver justice for all she did to them, and then did it again after she stomped Canterlot
>Nervously, AJ has to admit yes to this.
>So they begin to wonder if she's gathering something. Namely, power. And if in this gathering, it was this lack of power on their end that prevented them from getting more out of the relationship between nations.
>Bluntly, they ask if they had invaded Canterlot, would they be as forgiven as the changelings are now?
>When AJ stumbles, trapped, Chrysalis cuts in and says they would "If they were sorry"
>So they ask if she was sorry, and regrets what she did.
>When Chrysalis stumbles, AJ tells her to be honest.
4/5babyfi-hi-hiiive!
>>27771115
>So she admits that she doesn't regret it, because if it hadn't she wouldn't be here, but acknowledges it was bad and she shouldn't have done it.
>This confuses the royals.
>BUT SUDDENLY! The back and forth bantering from the Equestrian Trio is interrupted, by none other than Rarity!
>After one or two false entrances, she steps forwards, and lays out her proposal!
>Which AJ immediately calls stupid.
>The two maretonians, two saddle arabians, one Empire princess and one changeling Queen get to sit back and watch, as bickering begins.
>Sadly, Cadence gives Rarity heart when she blunltly says she's still the princess of bad ideas.
>This is pretty good proof of that.
Whambamslam, sorry if it's a little scattered, couldn't scroll up and down to link it all like i do.
As always, if I missed something or skimped something, fill in those puzzle pieces.
>>27771128
I'm actually more surprised you included the Spike OOCO thing.
>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~
>Sooooo, what do you think is going on in there?
"With the royals? Nothing good."
>What makes you think that?
"I just saw the chef signal to the others to break out the caramel icing."
>That bad?
"...Is your will up to date?"
>It's a paper that says "Fuck you, world'.
"Sooo-"
>So yeah, pretty up to the minute.
>>27771168
I'm quite happy he did. It makes me feel recognized.
>Bonbon
"Lyra"
~~
"So, Bonnie? There's something I've always wondered."
>I told you, yes, I'm a retired secret agent who once helped trap the Bugbear inside of Tartarus... that all totally happened.
"It's not about that... well, it's kind related."
>...yes, I'm going to intervene now.
"That's nice, but what I'm mostly stuck on is... retired?"
>Ye... yeah?
"So... how old are you?"
>Why does that matter?
"Just... how old we talking? Like, Cheerliee old?"
>...
"...Mayor Mare old?"
>...
"...what do you think Berry Punch is up to-"
>ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
>>27771455
...That's actually a good point, how old is she supposed to be? Lyra hung out with Twilight, so she's not that old.
>>27771663
Experienced Mare living with a younger more energetic Mare? Sounds more lewd than usual, but then again they are JUST friends...
>>27771687
I guess that's why Lyra isn't into it.
>>27771771
I was being sarcastic, you just know that Reins Bon seduced the shit out of her with her charming smiles and gyrated cider.
>>27771826
>Reins Bon
Was not expecting that and almost spit taked, I have milk dribbling down my chin and spattered on my shirt, thank you very much.
>>27771826
And thanks to this talk of "More experienced", all I'm thinking is
>Hey little filly... want some candy?
>>27771826
>gyrated cider
"How would you like your Cider your Highness?"
>Gyrated, not twerked.
"...O-oh... Ok."
>It's good to be Best Princess...
Also, why isn't there any castle staff? I mean really, why aren't there any butler or maids? Cooks and cleaners mentioned in passing? Were they fired for to free up more of the budget?
>>27771950
has applejack ever used her athority like that?
>>27771950
What do you mean? We've actually had several stories with the cooks, they had their own subplot with Chrysalis and Mane-Iac trying to bake a cake and everything.
We see janitors all the time, including a strike that happened just after 77 emerged because they revolted at the thought of cleaning up that bathroom.
Raven appears on occasion.
And finally, several of them ended up fodder in Cordyceps.
>>27772050
We even had one recently where AJ got Derpy to deliver a package to the cooks intact...somehow...
>>27772138
>Everyone thanks AJ
>It was probably Cloudchaser who made her do it so that her record remained untarnished.
Typical.
>PJ
"Blueblood"
'Arana'
~~~
>MRPHMAMME!
'What's she saying?'
"Uncouth things, that's what!"
'I got cloths, will that help?'
"Not uncloth, uncouth."
'What's that mean?'
"Ahhh, to be a young stallion learning his vocabulary again."
>Mrogmgm?
"What? Of course I know what it means! I was simply reminiscing."
'So what does it mean?'
"Reminiscing is when you're fondly remembering something."
>MRPH!
"What? She asked."
'I meant the other thing.'
"Other thing?... oh! Well, in my younger days, I learned as a student in none other than Auntie Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, though of course I didn't call it that!"
>MRPH!
"Stalling? I'm barely getting started! It was a warm spring day when I first joined-"
>MRPH!
'HEY! MY MOMMA... actually that's accurate, but she was nice too!'
>MRH?!
"How uncouth of her."
'No couth at all!'
>...mrphg..
'...so why's she covered in potatoes?'
"Oh right, I could have just used that for a distraction."
>...
"I mean, get the crowbar."
'Okay!'
>MMMRRGG!?
"You deserve this."
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
"and I help...except this I'm not helping this."
>Those Filly Scouts painted mah Apple tree pink with the words try our frosted animal crackers on it. I'm not going to let them get away with it.
"Are you sure it wasn't Pinkie?"
>Nah, Ah' asked. She thought it was funny and that she might buy some animal crackers from them, but Ah' wasn't laughin'
"You're taking this personally."
>Yah dang right Ah' am.
"Don't turn this into a feud, darling. They're just trying to sell cookies."
>Bleeding us dry is what it is.
"I've gotten content with just paying them off for cookies."
>Are you giving in? Ah' thought you considered them a problem too.
"I used to, but I've come to accept them. They're good cookies."
>Ah' want you and Spike to use your detective skills to find the Filly Scouts responsible for this. Ah' want their flanks!
"Okay, okay. If it means that much to you we'll look into it."
>Thank you, Rarity. And thank you for joining us on...the Fireside.
>Sucker Punch
"41"
>OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY!?
"Hey there."
>They're STILL talking?
"Yeah."
>I went to the bathroom AND got us snacks!
"Mhm."
>Ugh...
"Yeah, I appreciate your aunt trying some avant garde stuff but...the evil foreigner schtick kinda falls apart when you start talking about the politics."
>Especially when it's...the hell are they talking about?
"Grain tariffs in Maretonia."
>...they're stalling because that hooker concussed the guy with the cop gimmick, aren't they?
"Probably."
>SOMEONE THROW A CHAIR ALREADY!
>>27772050
I mean, like actually have someone named. Like were is the Jeeves Pony who actually isn't a butler, but some poor lost gala a 'tendies' wearing a suit?
>>27772672
IT BEGINS
>>27772707
...these guys are complaining about getting stuff moving?
I forgot they existed for the last month!
>>27772751
Mostly they don't get named.
Shit, fucking Librarian Pony(the lesbian one with a kid) still doesn't have a name, and she's had a fuckload of stories and even a character arc! She developed as a character and still we don't know who the fuck she is!
>>27772883
I miss her, and her jock wife. She was fun.
Also, surprisingly a good mom, she once got Chitty to autograph a comic for her kid.
>>27772751
That sounds more like you have a story idea than an actual criticism. If you want to make it, just make it.
>>27773271
Nah, it's a criticism, I want the staff and regulars in the places to feel more alive, so even if their not mentioned you can imagine them in the background and how'd they might react and thus someone might actually write a story bout it. Quirky background characters in written form~!
G'night thread
>>27772807
Nah, it's just their wrestling show is weirdly syncing up with real life.
And if there's one thing a wrestling fan hates, it's a shitload of talking when they want to see a fight.
>>27773967
>~
kys /pa/l
>>27775006
I have fat fingers, fuck your mother's meaty chode.
>>27775107
>~ being anywhere near m or !
MEANWHILE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
>>27775572
...oh myyyyy
>>27775572
Can revisit that Universe? And stay there?
>>27775572
That looks extremely painful. She should be carrying it on her back, shouldn't she?
>>27773967
>Cookie
"Crumbles"
~~~
>Okay, which one of us is going to go get the cakes ready.
"For who, the one with the delegates that's all falling apart, the one fretting in her bedroom of the mess she's going to fix, or the one who just walked into the former's meeting with a smile on her face and probably thinking she deserves a reward?"
>Son, we work for the princesses, you know what that means?
"That we get nice benefits?"
>No!... Well, yes, actually my dental plan is amazing, but more importantly, no! It means we're the only thing standing against Equestria falling apart by angsty, whiny leaders.
"Great worldview of them."
>It means, my friend, quite simply this... to answer your previous question, yes.
"I didn't ask a yes or no question, I asked which one."
>And the answer.... is yes.
"..."
>Get the oven started, it's going to be a long day.
>>27776491
that is how the princess likes it.
>>27776617
I take it Celestia figured out how to talk through time, and this universes one knew exactly what to do.
>>27774743
I like a good promo too. As long as it doesn't get into HHH monologue territory.
>>27775572
>Applejack, I didn't order soup, I ordered cake
"Well yer gettin' some soup in ya and that's final!"
Somethings never change
>Luna
“29”
‘MM’
~Zecora~
(Trixie)
~~~~
>BREATH LITTLE LING, BREATH!
“GRHGHG!”
‘Pisnhess? Don… don shink yer’ shposed ta’ jush shlam on his chesh like that.’
>What does thou know!? Thou art drunk!
~Ish true, we ain’t thinkin’ like we ahhta. But still, even we can shee yer’ not exhsatly doing whatsha gotta.~
>We shall have thee know we learned this technique from an educational video!
“Grlrgl!”
>NO! WE ARE LOSING HIM! LIVE!
SLAM!
>LIVE!
SLAM!
>LIIIIIIVE!
WHAM!
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
‘…’
~…~
(…Trishie dosnh know whash mean, thish all sheem super legit ta’ her.)
“GLRGL!”
>Yay!... Or boo! It’s hard to tell if that’s water or blood coming out of his mouth.
“…”
‘…’
~…~
(…)
>We might have done it wrong, we lifted our left hoof to the sky at the last be. We didn’t think it important, so if it is, our apologies.
“…glk.”
>VICTORY!
>>27776757
Hence the remarks by Punch that he went to go use the bathroom and get snacks when it started and it was still going on.
>Changeling
“Crystal Guard”
~???~
~~~
>YOU THERE! I must be allowed entry to the portal! It’s an urgent matter!
“No.”
>…But it’s urgent.
“No it’s not, it’s probably silly.”
>It really isn’t!
“It probably is, it’s going to be silly, you’re all silly.”
>But… b-but!
“But nothing, silly!”
>It’s not silly! I want to tell the Queen we want to be changelings again!
“See? Silly! You’re already changelings!”
>No, the cool ones! I want to tell her we want to be cool again!”
“And what’s sillier than wanting to be cool? You ever seen a comic where some kid tries to be cool? You know what he looks like when he says stuff like “Radical” or “awesome?”
>Is it-
“IT”S SILLY!”
>…Look! Over there!
“I’m not falling for that, it would be silly.”
>You’re going to get hit in the back of the head because you think I’m making it up? That sounds pretty silly.
“…fine, I’ll look, but-“
ZOOM!
WARBLE!
“CURSES!... Alas, once more, I am the silly one.”
~THERE HE IS! You there! Give me back my armor, you’re going back to the mental ward!~
“Going back? That would just be…”
SHINK!
“Silly. Have at thee!”
>>27777344
When Monty python characters escape!
>SA
“Pinkie”
‘18’
~42~
~~~~
>Pinkie? I thought you said Partyland 2 was going to be smaller than normal. So then, what’s this big thing off on the side?
“Hm? Oh, don’t worry, the scale numbers got futzed in development, it’s about half as big.”
‘Improperly done math… this displeases me.’
>So then, what’s the point of it?
“It’s called… Pink’s landing.”
>Go on.
“It’s where you’re shot out of a cannon on the ground… and land.”
>…so wait, why’s it called Pink’s landing?
“You’re only allowed on the ride if you’re pink. So, bonus for Caddy!”
‘That is super Racist!’
“Don’t worry, if you have pink hair, you count!”
‘Retracted.’
“Wigs disqualify though.’
‘RRRRACIST!’
“It’s not! Hair color isn’t a race!’
~But if changelings don’t have the ability to have that hair, then you’re blocking out a race.~
“…really? You talk now? I thought we were cool.”
~I’m not here.~
“You totally are, Forty Two, I can see you behind the plant.”
~How can I be when I’m over there, behind you?~
“Because you’re not-GAH!”
~Hi.~
“How did you do that?!”
~Teleporting.~
“…”
~What?... Did I ruin it?... I ruined it, didn’t I?... Darn.~
FWOOSH!
“…where were we?”
‘RACIST!’
>Pinkie, make it so wigs are allowed, and give them out at the ride.
“Okay! I’m reasonable, and wigs are fun!”
‘…’
“Had a whole thing, didn’t you?”
‘NO!’
“…”
‘Yes.’
>>27777882
Says something those are interchangeable with 'mental patient
>SA
“Pinkie”
‘18’
~42~
~~~~
>Pinkie? I thought you said Partyland 2 was going to be smaller than normal. So then, what’s this big thing off on the side?
“Hm? Oh, don’t worry, the scale numbers got futzed in development, it’s about half as big.”
‘Improperly done math… this displeases me.’
>So then, what’s the point of it?
“It’s called… Pink’s landing.”
>Go on.
“It’s where you’re shot out of a cannon on the ground… and land.”
>…so wait, why’s it called Pink’s landing?
“You’re only allowed on the ride if you’re pink. So, bonus for Caddy!”
‘That is super Racist!’
“Don’t worry, if you have pink hair, you count!”
‘Retracted.’
“Wigs disqualify though.’
‘RRRRACIST!’
“It’s not! Hair color isn’t a race!’
~But if changelings don’t have the ability to have that hair, then you’re blocking out a race.~
“…really? You talk now? I thought we were cool.”
~I’m not here.~
“You totally are, Forty Two, I can see you behind the plant.”
~How can I be when I’m over there, behind you?~
“Because you’re not-GAH!”
~Hi.~
“How did you do that?!”
~Teleporting.~
“…”
~What?... Did I ruin it?... I ruined it, didn’t I?... Darn.~
FWOOSH!
“…where were we?”
‘RACIST!’
>Pinkie, make it so wigs are allowed, and give them out at the ride.
“Okay! I’m reasonable, and wigs are fun!”
‘…’
“Had a whole thing, didn’t you?”
‘NO!’
“…”
‘Yes.’
>>27778604
42 is slowly morphing into a nerdy teenager.
She's going from robot to Poindexter levels.
>Celestia
“Guard”
~~~~~
>Oh dear, oh dear! What if everything goes wrong!? What if they actually do manage to make everything worse!? What if they do start a war, or get us banned, or worse! What if they cut off my sugar supply!?
“…That’s the worst one?”
>No no no no! This could all go so wrong!...But I can’t intervene, my teacher senses are tingling!
“Ew.”
>What to do what to do… there’s only one thing to do!
“Give up on some test for the sake of postponing a war?”
>I just need to believe!
“…that’s technically a viable option here, in this world, but when you say it out loud-“
>And I need help staying calm during it!
“And here’s where I find out you have drugs, and I am okay with that.
>FORBIDDEN SUMMONING! BUBBLEHORSE!
“…”
>….
“…”
>…that’s the part where you go get him.
“Who… who is “Bubblehorse”, exactly?”
>This really shouldn’t be complicated. Really, figure it out now, I’m giving you a little credit.
“Oh, okay… guess I’ll just go get… ‘bubblehorse’.”
>Off with you now!
SLAM!
>…this’ll work out fine.
>>27779136
Cue Derpy being abducted.
>77
“???”
~~~
>Unbelievable! He just left me! Just… up and left! I didn’t get to tell him a single plan, we haven’t worked out anything! Some second in command! Well, I’ll show him… you there!
“GAH! IT’S POINTING AT ME!”
>Come here, I need to speak with you.
“I NEED AN ADULT!”
>…aren’t you an adult?
“ONE WITH A GUN!”
>Ah. Is it the eye patch? I’ve been working on that. I mean it, I’m trying to think of a way to make it look nicer, but I can’t take it off, it’s the remains of my party’s flag… which is admittedly weird, as we don’t have a flag, but I came to learn this was all Chrysalis trying to spook us, so… I’m sorry, I’m rambling, can you help me out?
“Don’t they make fake eyes?”
>I don’t think they make them in changeling. For obvious reasons.
“Alright… maybe-“
>I was actually looking for help on another matter.
“Okayy?”
>Look, while I understand there are no guards stationed down here, there must be some kind of fighting force, isn’t here? Someone, somewhere, had to have been protecting this place. Could you point me to them? I want to band together with them, join forces, and see if we can start fighting back. Might even be a good teambuilding exercise!
“…”
>…what?
“Er…”
>It was mostly the Elements of Harmony, wasn’t it?
“Yeeeahhh…”
>Is there any chance there’s a Twilight Clone walking around?
“…”
>Don’t give me that look, I’ve seen at least three multiples of every pony here. At LEAST three, there’s dozens of the magenta one who drinks!
“…”
>No?
“…”
>…maybe if I combine them they’ll become competent-
“That won’t work.”
>Well it’s better than your ideas!
>>27779779
... Holy shit, yeah. He's been wearing a mock flag this whole time. Huh...
>AJ
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~Rarity~
~~~~~
It was like watching a trainwreck in slow motion.
>This is dumb, Ah’m sorry.
~Well, of course you would say that!~
Correction, the trains were going in slow motion, the conductors screaming profanity at one another were moving if anything faster than time could follow.
>Look, ya’ gotta do this now?
~What better time, darling? I mean really, when better could there be a time to move this forwards to a vote?~
>Anytime. Literally anytime. When Ah’m sittin’ on the commode after eatin’ nothin’ but the hottest peppers in the world, that would be a better time then right now. We got guests.
~I see them, darling, they don’t mind. Still a pleasure to meet you all!~
Her happy waves were met with only an empty, gaping silence from the four of the foreign royals, who had not yet managed to put together words that could make sense of what they were feeling inside. Mostly because, doing so simply was not in the realm of possibility, no words could ever describe it.
“What’s she proposing, exactly?”
>Don’t worry about it.
~Well! I say she should, such a proposal would affect her as well!~
>There ain’t no way you would ever get her to obey it. She’d rather eat her own hoof.
“HEY! Way to make me sound unreasonable here!”
>Ah’ just said it was dumb. Ya’ wouldn’t do somethin’ this dumb, would you?
“…You win this round.”
>Ah’ win most of ‘em. Includin’ this one, Rarity, we ain’t gonna put this forwards.
~Too bad!~
>Too bad that we can’t do it? Sure, let’s go with that.
~Too bad, because it’s already approved.~
>…what.
1/2
>>27780344
Her purple mane bobbed with her knowing nods, oblivious or uncaring to the horrified stare of her longtime companion.
~So sorry, darling, but I put it forwards hours ago for our little council of six to decide on. I didn’t hear a single word of dissent!~
>Was anyone else in the room?
~Nope!~
>And ya’ don’t see the problem with this?
~You don’t see the connection when I just passed a proposal like this without any opposition, because six mares and two princesses were off doing who knows what?~
>…Er-
~Darling, I really am sorry, but I must insist! This matter is one that cannot be pushed aside, or go on any longer!~
>Is this some kinda self punishment thing? If it is, can Ah’ instead propose ya’ just go do some chores on mah’ farm for a bit? Way better, and good for you.
~Sorry, that’s simply not going to cut it this time.~
>Dang it, Rarity…
The pony sighed sadly, hoping it would make its way through to the friend who had been with her through so much.
Sadly, she remained unmoved.
~It has to happen, I’m sorry.~
Orange lips ground together, and none present had ever seen a more stern glare.
‘…So is she going to mention what it is?’
“Probably not until the end.”
‘I just feel like they’re having this conversation and ignoring the dignitaries being here. That includes us. We’re here.’
>Ahem.
One breath, and all eyes were on her.
>Rarity here is proposing… a third party when we decide stuff. All of us.
Deathly, still silence followed, punctuated only by a weary sigh, and a stamp of a pristine white hoof.
It lingered there, for minutes, until it was abruptly and purposefully shattered.
“HAH!”
>>27780352
...er, Rar? You do remember that Pennydrop is a thing, right?
And she's also pretty good at swaying ponies?
This is just asking for trouble.
>Maidly
"Butlington"
~~~~
>... Brother?
"Yes, my favorite sister?"
>You ever think our parents hated us?
"Perish the thought! We're both serving in the employe of the most prestigious and influential princess on the planet, hard to imagine they aren't proud. You're just being ungrateful again. Now not another word of it, and get those sheets back to the princesses bedchambers!"
>Fine... So what are you getting Huge Success for her birthday this year.
"Same thing I get my darling big sister every year!"
>You taking a dump in a box and mailing it to her with death threats?
"Oh, you know me so well!"
>>27780437
"Oooh, that's going to cost Rarity some votes and maybe a few endorsements!"
>Right you are, let's see if she can turn this around!
"More than likely not though...
>...Yeah, Worst Princess is worst.
>>27780569
This makes me desire F&B doing some NC Meta commentary on the "Election"
>>27780569
Wouldn't it get her more endorsements?
PD wants this.
>>27780590
I'd be down for that, actually.
>Flutterdad
“Fluttermom”
~~~
>Honey? Do you think it’s weird that dearest Fluttershy hasn’t written back yet?
“Oh no, I’m sure she’s just busy, you know how she is.”
>I suppose so, saving the world and all is busy work!
“So busy, she’s probably barely got time to breath, let alone write a letter to us.”
>We sure raised a real humdinger, didn’t we?
“We sure did! I just hope she calls back someday and tells us she’s dating now.”
>Oh come now, that’ll be a while. Remember how long it took us?
“Oh ho myyy, do I! Oh, we were so silly back then.”
>We really were… not like now, now that we’re retired and all.
“…Dear, do you want to go back to the bedroom?”
>You mean…
“Yes. I want you to pick me up, carry me in, throw me on the bed… and softly cuddle while we remember all the good times in our life and enjoy each other’s company.”
>Oh my goodness… you always know exactly how to get my heart fluttering.
“Love you, honey.”
>And I love you too. Alleyoop!
“Eeep!”
>Still got it!... even if my back is killing me.
“Less talk, more cuddling!”
>Yes ma’am!
>>27781090
>They're not super horny deviants
I reject this reality!
>>27781191
What do you mean Anon? Cuddling involves hoof holding, the lewdest kind of holding. It's lewd, almost to leeeewd.
>>27781237
>hoof holding
Jesus fuck, anon! They're just cuddling!
You get that fetish shit out of here right now!
>>27781286
You know you want to hold these hoovsies
>Maretonian
"M2"
~Saddle Arabian~
-SA2-
~~~
>Should.... should we say something?
"They're being rather loud."
>I don't want to push too hard on this though, it looks like that one might snap.
~You are right to fear it. Have you ever seen the look in a rattlesnake's eyes as he prepares to lunge, and poison the poor fool foolish enough to be in his way? That... that is the look of that mare. Pure venom.~
-...wait, are you talking about the orange one, the white one, or the pink one?-
~Yes.~
>I really think we should say something, but I'm worried.
"Is it the changeling? The changeling creeps me out something terrible."
~I would honestly take the changeling any day over that one. That pink one, I mean. She looks like she will bite a head off of chickens.~
-That's a bit extreme. Maybe a chick, at most.-
>So did you all see this going way differently?
"Yes."
~Oh my, yes.~
-I'm not even sure they didn't slip something into my drink at this point.-
>I had a whole thing, you don't even know.
~Weird.~
>...fifty bits the orange one punches the white one.
"You're on, that white one has fire in her."
~She has the look of an elephant who must save her young.~
-Must you make similes to everything?-
~Yes. Fifty bits on white.~
-...Eighty on orange.-
~Really? You're doing this now?~
-You're a poor gambler.-
>Eighty it is! Come onnnnn orange one!
"There might be something wrong with us."
>...nahhhh...
>>27781496
Well, glad Rarity is at least entertaining to them...
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Celestia]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but these are easy to write! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!
Singular clap from Cadence and DT playing synth music on TBDRLIATU.
[Hello my little ponies.]
>Are you really Cadence's niece?
[Why that's silly. I'm her-]
"How dare you ask that question Pinkie! We're clearly related."
'She's not your niece, Cadence.'
"...of course she is! Can't you tell by how young she looks?"
[Oh in that case. Yes, I am Cadence's young niece.]
'And I'm actually older than I look.'
>Darn tootin'! You know what else is older than it looks?
"What?"
>Deez nuts!
She throws a bunch peanuts at Cadence.
"NOOO MY DOCTOR SAYS I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO GET NUTS ON MY FACE!"
'Got 'er.'
"You knew about this!?"
'Oh I knew about deez nuts.'
"Why don't you have some then?"
Throws a peanut at DT's eyes.
'AAARGHH I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LOOK AT DEEZ NUTS!'
DT tumbles into Cadence who yanks on a curtain which falls on a birthday cake with candles. The curtain catches fire and sets all 3 pink ponies on fire.
>"'AHHHHHHHH'"
Freeze frame on a Celestia looking for a fire extinguisher.
>Until next time. <3
Life on the Late Night Show~
>>27781975
...the fuck?
Also, is the captcha fucking up for anyone else?
>>27778096
>>27778604
...So, nobody going to question the double post?
>>27782067
That was me.
Sorry, this fucking captcha fucking up on both the quick reply and the post at the top with that damn "Cannot contact recaptcha service" shit(but oh, you can load your fucking minigame!) meant I had to copy, refresh and paste the story. This fucking happened AGAIN when I was trying to quote the Monty Python comment to make a wittism, but apparently I didn't copy it or something, and posted again. Then, despite being ONE MINUTE OLD, it said "This post is too old, and you cannot delete"
So I got frustrated and said no more 4chan for the day, and then it was night and I have no self control, and here we are. And yes, I'm seeing two captchas floating side by side now.
4chan is going to hell.
>>27781975
>Deez Nuts was a thing
How you know this election is a pile of shit.
>>27782339
>Implying this isn't the most entertaining shitshow in the world.
>Mopper
"Duster"
~~~~
>...You ever feel like our parents kinda pigeonholed us into this?
"What do you mean?"
>By naming us this silly shit, you think they kinda forced us to take this job?
"Named us? You mean... you never picked your name?"
>Wha... what?
"You fool! I was named Fancy Free, but that is not my destiny! I was destined... TO DUST! THIS IS MY CALLING! THIS DUSTPAN IS MY WEAPON! THIS IS WHO I AM!"
>Oh...
"..."
>...my mom just named me Mopper. Which, considering what I could be mopping up, cleaning up the crumbs under Princess Applejack's desk was actually best case scenario.
"..."
>I hate my life.
"Sorry, can't say the same. GASP! A dust bunny! I am needed! TO BATTLE!"
>...I want to die sometimes.
"I FUCKING LOVE DUSTING!"
>>27782710
That guy has clearly taken all of the cocaine.
>>27783047
If he did, he is pretty damn confident in everything making so much sense because it's so obvious.
Goodnight, thread.
>>27782710
Yes...
Yeeees..
YEEEEES!
Thank you. *That* is the /pa/ I need.
>>27784635
Did you miss the other three stories like that?
>>27783047
"OH NO! Thin white dust! Well, I know what to do here!..."
*Sweep*
*Throw's away*
"MmmmggghMMM!... Das the good stuff."
>>27785315
/pa/!
Where all the writers who love the "it's not what it looks like" trope gather.
>Luna
“29”
‘MM’
~Zecora~
(Trixie)
~~~
>Alright, since apparently we cannot leave thee be for five freaking minutes, we’ll be right here waiting until thou decides not to be of influence anymore!
“Blubb.”
>Thou are fine, stop this at once!
‘He’sh got loshha… loshahh….”
>What? What does he have lots of?
~She means wha she shaid…. He’s gonna wibble behd.~
>What does that even mean!?
(Trishie would lyke her sheck now.)
>Her what!?
“…”
>…noooo..
‘…’
>Don’t thou dare...
~…~
>We will never forgive thee!
(…)
>IF THOU DOES WHAT THINE EMPTY HEAD IS THINKING OF DOING, OUR WRATH SHALL BE ENDLESS, THE PAIN WITHOUT COMPARE, THE AGONY SO GREAT AND HORRIBLE THAT NOTHING, NOT A SINGLE THING THAT OCCURS WITHIN THINE MIND WILL BE OF ANYTHING BUT PAIN AND WOE! YOU! TO THEE I SPEAK! YOU SHALL NOT DARE TO-
“’~(Zzzzz…)~’”
>Oh… oh, thou were just passing out.
“’~(Zzzzz…)~’”
>…we feel like an asshole now.
“’~(Zzzzz…)~’”
>SA
“Pinkie”
‘18’
~42~
~~~
>Pinkie? Forty Two has asked that I make a request for a possible addition to the NuPartyland.
“Is that what we’re calling it? That’s dumb. Partyland 2.0 is better.”
‘I like Boogieland. It’s new, it’s fresh, and it doesn’t have the same horrible connections.’
“Ewwww… “
‘What, because it sounds like booger?’
“No, because it’s dumb.”
‘You have made a powerful enemy today!’
“But fine, I’ll add in a fighting ring.”
~Ahem.~
“Punching arcade?”
~Nnng.~
“…whack a mole?”
~Neh.~
“Well, what does she want?”
~I was wondering… if you could find space for a ferris wheel.~
“Huh?”
~…Shining took me on the ferris wheel before. It was… nice.~
“Ohhhh.”
~…~
“Sure! I was gonna build one anyway, but I’ll make it extra tall for you!”
~Thank you, but you don’t have to maker it any larger than need be.~
“Course I do, how else is Shining finally gonna confess and sloppily make out with you on it if I don’t?”
~….~
BLAM!
‘Annnd, down she goes.’
>That was for revenge, wasn’t it?
“Nope!”
>…that’s kinda scarier than the alternative.
“LOVE HER SHINY!”
>>27785887
No blarg?
Shiny, you got off lucky this time.
>Guard
“Castle Staff”
~~
>Alright, I need your help. The princess has sent me looking for, uh, bubblehorse? Anyone know who she’s talking about?
“Is it Soothing Waters? You do the princesses bath, right?”
“Yeah, but she calls me soappony, not bubblehorse.”
“Oh! Maybe it’s Crusty? When he cleans the floors, he brings up a lot of bubbles.”
“I’m dirtypony.”
“Really? I thought I was dirtypony?”
“No, Sweetmaker, we’re the ones who called you that, and that’s only because we found those pictures of you.”
“I needed money for culinary school!”
“Well, it can’t be me, I’m sugarpony.”
“I’m dresspony.”
“I’m rugpony.”
“I’m paperpony.”
“I’m paul.”
>Wait, does she give you all completely neutral names at random!?
“I guess, why?”
“Huh, you know, I can’t recall her using my real name.”
“Me either!”
“Or me!”
“Or me!”
>You don’t think…
“Oh my gosh.”
“”””””””“The princess doesn’t know who the fuck we are!””””””””””
>>27786589
Revolution!
>Garden Gracer
“Birdwatcher”
~~~
>Ahhh, at last, my garden is back to pristine condition! Everything is finally, finally, exactly as it should be and back to normal! With those changelings gone, beauty returns!
“What about those ones?”
>Which ones?
“The bushes… the ones that spell out “APPPPLLLEEEEJJJAAAACCCCKKKK”?”
>Ah. Those ones… those are just staying as that, whenever I try to change them, they just wilt until they look the same. Tried to cut them once, and I still haven’t found those hedgeclippers. I think it might have digested them by now.
“R-… right. Well, so long as my birds have a place to stay again, we’re all good.”
>You mean like the buzzard?
“I don’t question why you put in posies over there despite them not gelling, you don’t question the buzzard.”
>It’s just really weird because those only eat-
“Do not question the buzzard, or you’ll find out how I feed them.”
>Did… did you just say you would-
“My birds, to me!”
>…
“I can’t actually control them, but how awesome would that be?”
>…it would be awesome.
“Right!?’
>Fuzzy
“Buzz”
~~~
>Annndddd, COMING AT YOU LIVE! IT’S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!
~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~
~Can’t touch this! Dunnnunn!~
“And that’s not all nobody is going to be touching! Recently, delegates from both Saddle Arabia and Maretonia arrived, and that peacock airship meant they came in style! Guards have surrounded it to ensure it’s not being messed with by the public.”
>Buzz asked if he could get the same treatment to keep everyone back, they just said “Smile, you’ll do a better job of it than we ever could”
“OHHHHH!”
~Let’s put a smiiile on that- NO WAIT PUT IT BACK!~
>Unfortunately, we have no idea what is being discussed and why in the secret meeting room, all we’ve been able to gather is that at some point, Princess Rarity joined the fray!
“And much like Fuzzy’s bedspread when Rarity enters the fray in his dreams, there is worry that something’s about to get ruined and everyone is going to feel a lot of shame.”
>OHHHHHH!
~Do you want the mustache on or of?... too bad.~
“In any case, we’ll keep you up to date as things develop. Like this, uh, giant fillyscout? I’m guessing there’s a giant jamboree or something going on down in Ponyville for the fillyscouts, but it was important apparently so if you’re up to travel, go for it!”
>We’re currently investigating who wants Buzz to get out more, and why they think he looks any better than he sounds.
“OHHH!”
~When he was born, his mother asked for a refund.~
>In the meantime, let’s kick of the political jamboree of our own with the smooth stylings of, Drop the Bomb!
“I see nothing wrong with this, HIT IT!”
>>27787200
God I love these two.
>>27787043
Those bushes might just spell out Rarity by the end of this arc.
>>27787602
Don't you mean RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRITTTYYYYYY?
https://derpibooru.org/1191146?scope=scpefa1a0b8c337c54e69256e862cbbf27e5f14311f0
>>27787790
What's this now? Link won't open.
>>27787790
Accurate to current events.
>>27787882
>>27787904
... Weird.
>>27787904
Seems about right
>Chitania
“???”
~~~
A melancholy sigh escaped the Titan Queen, quite odd considering the circumstances.
>I wonder…
Had any of her foes been able to stay conscious for more than a minute, they probably would have questioned it.
>I wonder what she’s up to…
Sweeping hooves destroyed any weapon or brawn brought against her, which was doubtlessly confusing them for the brief seconds they could still think, as she remained in an unassuming, smaller looking earthpony form. None of them so much as scratched her, despite how effective their weapons would have been had she had flesh and bone beneath that artificial fur. As such, with little in her way, she found her mind wandering again, as it so often did when she had little to do, and thinking of other times, times she said she would not linger on, yet could no longer be pushed aside, no matter how mighty she proclaimed herself to be.
>I wonder if she’s safe…
No power, no matter how strong, could move the thought of the little sickly changeling from her mind.
>She survived this long without me, I suppose she’ll be fine…
It was a truth that both stung and filled her with pride, to know that no matter how weak or brittle she appeared, her daughter had survived the elements, she had survived being hunted, she had survived the treachery of the world, she had survived it all. Even as the rest of those she would call hivemates, those she had been destined to rule before the cruel twist of fate, fell in the single sweep of a pony’s spell, she had continued on. She had survived time, foes, and the dwindling of their race.
She had survived everything, without her.
>She really was stronger than I ever gave her credit for.
It filled her with pride, and regret once more to know she had tossed away one so strong with a careless swipe of her hoof.
>Mother… you made me strong, but I could not make her strong. She was strong without me, despite me, not because of me.
1/3
>>27788625
Her treacherous thoughts came back, that feat that even now she was missing more of her life, more of the time of which her daughter had so little. She would never take her Heart, she would never become a Queen, she had made that clear, and any thoughts of challenging them were long since put to rest. Her daughter would live out the rest of her days, however long or short those would become, as a changeling drone, and this is what she desired.
Time was against her, and she lost more ground still with every passing day.
>And those fools had the gall to pretend all would be forgiven.
Again, those traitorous thoughts returned, of perhaps at least trying to see if the pony she had bartered with before had spoke true, if there was some chance to return to as she had been.
She hadn’t hated her old life, if she were being honest. She was ready to cast it aside, and did not mourn it’s loss anymore than she mourned that snowy mountain town that held more fond memories than it did horrible ones. Both, she had enjoyed while it had been there, it had not been the worst time of her life, even if both ended with her almost dead as the ponies turned on her. Both, she had been quick to declare, were in the past. Both were gone, no more, and would not be dwelt upon a second longer. If there was one thing she had become excellent at, better than most, it was letting go. She did not care for the past.
This time, however, what mattered was the path forwards.
>I wish…
2/3
>>27788635
Even knowing the risks, even knowing all she stood to lose simply from even attempting to look into it, even knowing of all she could gain if she would only let it be, she could not push aside the thoughts, not even with her Titan might. If there was some chance, however small…
>…I wish these assholes could put up a better fight.
With a snarl, she charged forth, and they never stood a chance. Their toys, their strongest warriors, their hopes of survival, all equally useless, against Chitania the Titan.
>At least that way, I wouldn’t think about believing in bullshit again, before it actually manages to get me killed this time…
This gang would not stand against her for even an hour more.
The thoughts in her head… would take far longer to leave.
>>27788645
NC
MEANWHILE!
~~~~~~
"Ohhhhh, shooty shooty bang bang I live you, yes I-shooty shooty bang bang I love you! And I- shooty shooty bang bang we love you!"
>>27788645
AJ! She's weak!
Strike! Strike and make her your friend!
God damn it. Why did I waste 5 hours of my life in Sims 3 to make this?
>>27788783
>>27788783
>>27788808
No, anon, the real question should be "Why aren't they having a threesome?"
>>27788808
>No hooves
Pink pony club is still great, buti had to.
>Twilight
“??”
~~~~
>Alright, I just need to locate where they are... Spike! I need you to look up-Oh, right, Spike’s not here… well, no biggie, I can find them myself. Sure, I don’t remember where they lived, but that’s not that much of an issue. I mean, come on, I’m one of the most intelligent unicorns in the world, how hard could this be?
~~~~
“EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!”
>Oh wow… thank goodness this wasn’t related to my earlier thought, and seems to be more an accident some child caused.
“WHAT!?”
>I’m just saying, it’s good I personally had nothing to do with this.
“…”
>This is better than it sounds.
“THE FUCK, MARE!?”
>>27788808
.... Fuck. It says something I just know who this is, even though it would make nonsense elsewhere.
>Dash
“Harry”
~~~~
>I’ve got it!
“Hrghg?”
>No, we’re not going to do that you sick monster! It’s just a little filly!
“Hrg.”
>…Big filly.
“Hrgh?”
>No that’s not an oxymoron, filly is an age, not a size!
“Hrgh hrggh.”
>Nobody lied to you! They never said- you know what? Nevermind, you wouldn’t get it.
“GHRUH!”
>That is not racist, it’s speciest!
“Gruuugh!?”
>Yes, it’s better, because ponies are totally the dominant species on the planet! Top of the food chain!... Except for dragons… and hydras… and quarry eels… and chimeras… and…
“…”
>You know what, you get it.
“Gnuggh!”
>You do so, it’s perfectly fine.
“GURGGHHG!”
>You can’t file a discriminatory lawsuit, you’re a bear!
“GURGH!?”
>I mean it literally, you can’t, you’re a bear. You don’t have a legal standing.
“GRUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!”
>… Ehhhh…
“…”
>…okay, yes, I would totally see a movie about a bear having to fight for his right to sue a pony.
“Gurrghhg.”
>Do you already have a script? Because you knooowww-
~COOOKIIIEEEES!~
>GAH! Right! Evil thing! Let’s do this!
“…”
>…We’ll keep in touch.
“Grugh.”
>>27788808
I didn't really recognize Cadence, but other than that top score.
>>27788741
It's probably going to play into it at some point.
Chitty will probably(likely during the fight with Faust) come to realize being strong isn't worth missing time with her child that she can never get back.
>>27789807
But their basically immortal, they just need to outlive their time apart together and then it won't be an issue anymore. Quit trying to make the fight demean the fight for what it is!
>>27789828
13 isn't, her aging will slow if she gets a healthy dose of love, but Chrysalis calculated it would only take 20 or less years to go from gradschooler to adult. Even if 13 lived to be 200, her mom would eventually outpace her, and she'd simply grow old. Probably way less, considering how long she spent alone and not charged on love.
Of course, we still don't know what the end goal of fighting the gods is for...
>>27789739
It's because I couldn't decide what Cadence should wear and she took the longest because of it. She looked too stuff in a Crystal Prep looking uniform.
>>27788844
That was a good question and the answer is I haven't found the correct mods for them.
>>27789199
>>27789111
Also nice trips and dubs. Now I feel slightly compelled to pursue this while I'm still interested.
>>27789128
...who started a random fucking fire!?
>Brusher
"Lacquer"
~~
>So the princess wants us... to completely redo the castle halls.
"Ahhh, yes. That is exactly what she wants."
>Whyyy?
"It's not fabulous enough."
>Wait... which princess was this?
"The new one."
>Which new one, the purple one, orange one, white one or yellow one?... Or are we talking 'new to us', meaning the blueish black one?
"I have no idea."
>Well, what color does she want?
"Red."
>Ehhh... the orange one likes apples though, it might be her.
"But then again, the yellow one might be making it easier for animals with a problem with the color spectrum."
>Or the white one might just like the color.
"Or who knows, maybe the bluish black one wants to do a blood of her enemies thing."
>...we have way to fucking many princesses.
"One was plenty."
>And hoooeee, she was PLENTY, if you know what I'm saaayinnng!
"...I'm a mare."
>So-
"So obviously I know what you're saying! YEWOH!"
>OHHHHHH!
"Don't do their thing, you can't do their thing."
>I just like to listen to them is all...
>>27790536
>The castle staff listens to F/B
This pleases me for some reason.
>>27790827
I like to think most of the city does. And the rest of the country, I don't care how improbable or how little sense it makes.
>>27786153
Oh God, she's shipping! Abandon all hope, abandon all hope ye who enter here!
>>27786153
"LOVE ME SHINY!"
FTFY
>>27790827
F/b cross a species divided, and I include that with us.
It took a bit, but I did it. I've achieved a pink threesome.
I can now cross this project off my list of projects.
>>27792383
Now I've heard of blowing a fuse, but this is ridiculous~!
>>27792383
Mother of God... Filthy is going to be pissed
>>27792805
Can you sue someone after you drive them to Suicide? He's going to find out!
>>27792383
Oh god, PP ankn, what have you done!?
>>27792383
They have become one!
Pretty happy and grumpy!
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Spitfire'
~~~~
'You're serious.'
>It's becoming increasingly unlikely the answer to that will be yes, we've gone on a lot of tangents by this point.
"I picked up Gummy. See this? This is my pet. I have no idea where I even got him from, but here he is. Gummy!"
'Oh, good, because I was starting to think you were insane for thinking I was actually going to send out the airforce to deal with those clouds.'
>We just need you to lower some of them a fair distance away.
'Shining, I'm going to be perfectly blunt here, I don't think Luna and Celestia, combined, could stop the clouds out there.'
>...
"..."
>"PfffttTTAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHHHHAHAHAHAHH!"
>W-what?!
"Celestia and Luna are two of the most powerful beings ever!"
>They move the sun! The MOON! Everyday they do this!
"Celly did both for like a thousand years!"
>What makes you think that, of both of them combined, CLOUDS would be too much for them?
"Really!? Clouds!? CLOUDS!?"
>Oh no, not a really big, natural storm!
"Not like we make those all the time or something! Just with pegasi's!"
'Alright-'
>Oh oh! But it's cold out there!
"Gasp! Cold! That's worse than the empty void of space!"
'Alrriiiight-'
>And don't forget the wind!
"Nooooo! Not the wiiiind! Not the thing that we use to transport WATER!"
>Nooooo!
'ALRIGHT!'
>"..."
'...I'll try to move a little bit, me, but if it's too much for them, I'm not sending them out to get killed in the snow, you just point that thing up higher.'
"Okay!"
>Fair enough, we trust your judgement.
'Good.'
>"..."
'...wasn't that funny-'
>"AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH!"
>>27793858
Well, shit.
It looks like Ponka's straight up breaking Shiny.
>Fluttershy
~~~
>I don't suppose you all have any plans?
Her little animal friends, normally so helpful, sadly had nothing. They could not help her, no matter how much they wished to try.
>Oh, I understand... I suppose I have to do this all on my own, don't I?
Sadly, they nodded, and true as it had been she had no idea if they were nodding in acceptance, or simply because her chaos compelled them to. She had locked them away for a reason, to keep them from suffering beneath her magical might, but sadly it seemed that was becoming harder and harder to make a reality.
It seemed no matter what she did, she brought chaos wherever she would go.
>I wonder...
Her uncomfortable eyes rolled to the sky, and her mind drifted.
>Were you like this, at the start? Were you good once... before you learned you couldn't get away from it? Did you have friends, before they all just... went away?
She gained no answer, and really hadn't expected one.
>I wonder... if that means someday, I'll be like you too. Maybe they'll just get tired of it, and leave...
She looked over her shoulder, to where her newest creation tossed and destroyed anything in her path.
>... I don't blame them. I want to, after all.
She never got, and never expected back, an answer.
>I wonder how much longer I have left...
>>27794068
I'm legit worried to go into Discord backstory because the show is for sure going to touch on it, and likely in the ones upcoming this season, but then again him being multiple choice would fit...
>Gambling
"Quicksilver"
~~~~~
>...was getting tased part of your plan?
"I'm C U L!"
>What?
"I don't know, it'll come back to me."
>...okay, so about your plan-
"It failed, but I have another one!"
>You do?
"Yes, trust me, this one is way smarter.'
>Smarter than trying to break into someone's house to force them to give me a job? I'll believe it when I see it.
"No no no, super smart, you're going to love this."
>Fine, go ahead, what's your oh so smart move?
"You ready for this?"
>I'm ready.
"Ready to be blown away, staring in shock?"
>Yes already!
"Ready to be stunned!?"
>Just do it!
"....CEE YOU LATER!"
ZOOM!
>...............WAIT A MINUTE!
>>27794000
Her harem needs to be full of silly or nothing at all!
>42
“Changleings”
~~~
FWOOSH!
>Alright, roll call… wait, someone’s missing.
“Two left here a while ago!”
>Not her, someone else.
“Eighteen works upstairs!”
>Not her!
“Are you forgetting to count yourself?”
>Not me, obviously!
“Do you mean 56? He left for Equestria-“
>Not him!
“Twelve got a job-“
>Not him!
“Twenty Nine got forced into a job-“
>Nobody cares about him!
“Fifty Five wandered off, he’s probably alive-“
>Everyone cares about him and he’s fine!
“We haven’t seen Awkwardling in a while.”
>Who!?
“The Rainbolts are gone too.”
>How do you lose colored changelings?!
“Jugglejack is off with his coltfriend.”
>He’s NOT his coltfriend!
“Gambling is doing something gambling related.”
>He’s fine, not him!
“That one changeling is shooting pornos.”
>Not-WAIT WHAT!?
“…oh! You’re talking about the one screaming of rev-“
>No no no, you back up now, who’s shooting what!?
“Didn’t you come in for-“
>Consider it dropped, now TALK!
“…wellll…
>>27794569
Jesus, and you actually missed a few.
Slowly but surely, they are all making it out.
OOCO
>Spike
“SA”
‘Poindexter’
(???)
~???~
~~~~~
>This has backfired horribly on me.
“I’m not sure what you expected to happen, really.”
>Guys night just sounded great on paper.
“Uh huh. So, you’re Big Macintosh, Applejack’s brother?”
(Eeeeyup.)
‘And you arrree?’
~Don’t be silly, I’m sure my big sister Fluttershy talks about me all the time!~
>Fluttershy has a brother!?
“Fluttershy has family, period!?”
‘Fluttershy is someone who maybe talked to me twice, period!?’
~Oh come on, my big sis is probably always talking all about me. And my many, many jobs.~
>How many do you have?
~Er, I’m resting, currently. Gotta prepare for my real passion!~
>I… I’m going to be real honest to you, I didn’t know you were her brother, I asked Fluttershy if she knew any guys who would like to hang out with us, and she said this would be ‘good for you’ to see us for some reason.
~She must have meant good for you! What do all of you do, anyway?~
(Ah’ run a couple hundred acre farm in Ponyville.)
‘I’m a consultant on a lot of different technology firms, and also occasionally royalty.’
>I’m currently an agent slash assistant slash special ops agent slash maybe coltfriend to the princesses… er, princess, singular, for that last one. Princesses in general.
“I’m the prince of the Crystal Empire. Used to be captain of the guard though.”
~…~
>What do you do, normally?
~…stuff… big stuff… really important stuff…~
>…
“…”
‘…’
(..,)
~S-so! What, ahhh, what races are you all playing? I couldn’t decide on mine, I’m just going to wing it.~
>…this is going to be way more fun than I thought it would.
‘I feel… a presence from him, one I had not felt for quite some time…’
“On the positive side, at least he’s not going to try to roll seduction on me.”
~…RIGHT! Would never do that!~
>…
“…”
‘…’
(..,)
~ROLL ALREADY!~
>So much more fun than expected…
>>27794923
And thus, Flutterbrother enters the universe.
In DnD.
With Big Mac.
... Appropriate.
>>27794985
I'm already thinking of ideas for how to use him.
This could be fun...
>Twilight
“???”
~~~
>Alright, first house! You can do this, Twilight, just get into princess of friendship mode, and be the princess of friendship. It’s literally in the title, you’re already ninety percent of the way there. All you have to do is knock on the door, say hi, and everything is all better!
KNOCK KNOCK!
>Annnd… HI! I-…
“…hi?”
>Wow, this is embarrassing. Um… is Twinkleshine home, mister guy who I hope is her father or brother or wow I’m going to feel like a total-
“Twinkleshine? Who’s that?”
>The… the mare who lives here. White coat, pink hair, kinda unremarkable but you sort of remember her?
“Oh… ohhh! You mean the house’s old owner. Yeah, she moved. On account of all the invasions. And explosions. And changelings… you know they brainwashed her once? Now they just kinda wander around, she had a real issue with that.”
>Ah. Right. That whole thing. I was there for that… so do you know where she went?
“Nope.”
>Shoot. That’s not going to bode well. But still, can’t give up yet! I’ll just put this one on the backburner, but I will get to her! The instant I finish up with everybody in the immediate vicinity, I will get to her! She will not be forgotten! I swear it! I am the princess of friendship and I will fill this world with friendship! I SWEAR IT!
“Alright?”
>Oh, uh, I wasn’t talking to you. Just kind of speaking out loud.
“Cool, I guess.”
>…I guess I should be going, have that whole thing to do.
“You could be my friend-“
>Uhhh…No… no no no… noooo… no.
“Is it the clown mask?”
SLAM!
>It was the clown mask…. To the next house!
>>27795359
Oh yeeeeeaaahhh, she was a Bridesmaid, wasn't she?
>>27794985
YOU MEAN BEEEEEEEEEEEEARD MAC!
>>27795512
Was he confirmed to have one? Nobody mentioned it....
>>27795646
They were too intimidated by his beardness.
>>27794802
Applejack always wins.
>>27795460
As was Lyra and Colgate.
>CC
“Derpy”
~~~~
>Help.
“I told you it wouldn’t work.”
>You said nothing about the snakes! The snakes were never mentioned at any point, you can double check and see for yourself!
“Double check what?”
>EXACTLY!
“…okay! So do you want me to get my snake beating stick?”
>Wait, what!? Why do you have a stick for beating snakes!?
“For whacking day!”
>What the heck is whacking day!?
“A classic, way funnier than it had any right to be. Cheese Sandwhich did a parody about it, but that one was weasals!”
>Weasels!?
“Yeah, get it? Because weasels fight snakes.”
>That’s mongooses!
“…I am not well versed in the predatory hierarchy of reptiles and-“
>WILL YOU JUST HELP ME!
“Sorry!”
>>27795359
Oh god, it's JOHN WHEY GACY!
>>27796109
.... Waiiiit a minute.
Did Amending Fences retcon it so that Cadences bridesmaids are all Twilights friends?
Did.. Did they retcon in Cadence has no friends!?
>>27796377
Could be they were other fillies she foal-sitted, I don't know.
>Changeling
“???”
~~~
With a thunderous clap and the fury of a thousand retail workers who just learned they won’t be paid overtime, the portal leading to Canterlot crackled open, and out stepped a furious, slick black changeling drone.
>I demand to know where the… queen… is…
He had expected two guards. What he had not expected was a giant mob.
>…wow, you guys work fast-
“This is an outrage!”
“I feel so… unrecognized.”
“I can’t believe it, after all these years! After all the stains I scrubbed out of her bathtub!”
“After all the stains I scrubbed out of everywhere! Do you know how many ants her crumbs attract!? Do you have any idea!?”
“Hey guys, it’s you live to work, you don’t work to live.”
“Shut the fuck up Duster!”
“That is so wrong!”
“I’ve never felt more… unnoticed!”
“It’s like all this time, we’ve been invisible background noise!”
“Do we even get seen during the Gala, or are we just presumed to be there?”
“We get less recognition than a band, and all they do is hit strings with metal things or hooves!”
“This is an outrage!”
“We’ve established that, but he’s right! This is outrageous!”
“Truly truly truly!”
“Not sure what you added Precious Stones, but I agree with the base sentiment!”
“WE CANNOT STAND FOR THIS A MOMENT LONGER!”
“We must stand up, and be recognized, or be forgotten!”
“WE WILL BE RECOGNIZED!”
>…So I’m actually just trying to squeeze past, you’re kind of all in the-
“RECOGNITION, OR DEATH!”
>You know what, I’ll wait.
“R E S P E C T!”
“That sounds like it would make a catch song, but we need to emphasis what it means to me.”
“LITTLE RESPECT!”
>…this is going to take a while.
>>27796621
So now we're dealing with a damn servant revolt too!?
Jesus fuck this is a clusterfuck of a headache for AJ.
>>27796506
>Other children she babysat
So... No? She has no friends, that's just who she happened to know?
Depressing.
>>27796813
Wasn't this a plotpoint early thread too?
>>27796621
...okay why? We already have AJ dealing with a problem. Stop shoving in more problems on her desk before we can fix it. This better not turn into Notice Sunset 2.0 with servants edition.
>>27796971
>"Why won't AJ-sempai notice me...?"
>"I know! I'll add a sweetie with her next pie request!"
>>27796996
>"Good luck, if my own sister won't notice me, I don't think Applejack will."
>Luna
“???”
~~~
>Curses! With all of them asleep, we have no one to talk to! We are alone again and dragging a bunch of drunkards back to their homes! Drunkards who TOTALLY DIDN’T INVITE US! What, were we not good enough!? We like to party as well, we totally would have drunken the… thing! The cool thing! We know all of it! Why, parties were far more a daring thrill in our days, thou would not believe what everyone else got up to! We don’t even know, and we were in the castle somewhere! THIS IS A LOAD OF OUR DRIEST, FILTHIEST DROPPINGS! We need stimulation!... wait… waaiiiiit a minute…
~~~~
“…Peace.”
Serene flowers, loving streams, warm waters, and so many fluffy and bright clouds up above. Today, truly, was a moment of sunshine and happiness.
“Verily, to this day… I’ve found peace-“
There was the sound of glass shattering, and the lights went off.
“What… what?”
>TWENTY NINE! We remembered we can go in dreams!
“….NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
>Well we think it cool!
>>27796664
The help is Celestia's problem/punishment for attempting to get her security blanket.
>Acty
“JJ”
~~~
>Okay, so how do we convince him there’s something wrong with this house without him thinking we’re crazy?
“Can we just go for it? Just, blam, let it all out?’
>You can’t just let it all out, there has to be some kind of buildup, at least a little bit!
“Well, we clearly can’t play nice with him, or he’s just gonna sit there with that look on his face. You know the one, the judgy one.”
>I’m just saying, there’s a line between being blunt and just hammering away.
“We’ve crossed that line several times!”
>Yeah, but not intentionally, only when we get caught up in the moment. And last I checked, you didn’t like that either.
“Ehhh, I like it a little bit.”
>Really?
“Ehhhh, sortof. It was something new at least.”
>New doesn’t mean effective.
“Point, but to be fair, he doesn’t look like the type who likes it soft.”
>Really?
“Trust me, I know that look, he takes it all in one swing or he thinks it’s not worth his time. You just need to get in there, and just let him have it.”
>He gets loud, though.
“You leave that to me. I can find a way to keep him from screaming at you, trust me.”
>Well, maybe.
“It’s either that, or we wait for him to see it, which… actually? Thinking about it, why don’t we just do that?”
>It does kinda sound like that would clear everything up just instantly, doesn’t it?
“Yeah, we are way overthinking this. No need to go at him!”
~OH COME OOOONNNNNN!~
>….So he heard us, but do you think he believes us?
“Not a chance.”
>Dang.
>>27797062
Took me a second, then I chortled.
>>27797404
Hey, now it can be 32 who secretly knows and is messing with them!
>Dash
“Harry”
‘??’
~~~~
>Alright, that plan didn’t work!
“Gruuggh!”
>No, it’s not my fault, how was I supposed to know she had lice on her!?
Her ranting did not slow her speed, something that came in quite useful when a pair of massive mandibles snapped just above her head. The shrieking louse, bigger than any pony ever was, roared with sadness at it’s inability to catch it’s prey, and continued to snap down again and again in vain at the retreating form.
“Gruuggh!”
>No, I can’t help you, just deal with it!
The bear’s massive muscles rippled beneath his fur as he held on for all he was worth, claws digging in and holding strong against the mandibles that attempted to close, and slice him in half.
>Look, just hold on a sec, I’ll… ah, crap.
Two of them, alone, had been more than a challenge as it was.
When they saw a literal swarm of them, heading their way, hope began to gradually sink down in their stomachs.
“Gurrgh!”
>Yeah, we really should fund some more lice testing stuff in our school. This can be spread easily, you know, and once it’s in there nothing short of shaving them completely is going to make it easy to get rid of them.
“GURRRH!”
>Our educational system is a mess- OH SNAP!
Snap they did, so many that it sounded like a thousand mousetraps going off at once, each one seeking their prey of blue pony as surely as the sought a rodent.
>Buddy, I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but we might be-
A gurgling, agonized screech cut her off, and one of the louse fell to the side.
Then another, and another, all gurgling in pain, ichor spilling from their mouths, as they fell.
>…uh…
“Grugh?”
‘For the record…’
One more fell away, and the one behind it all was revealed.
‘The things in the caves were way scarier than this.’
>..neat.
>>27797563
>77 in badass mode
GOD I missed this.
>>27797695
And he's fighting what is essentially giant insectoid monsters.
Can't say he doesn't fit.
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Pinkie]
{Dream Eaters}
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but these are not so easy to write!
[Hey...hey Pinkie...it's time.]
>Who...who is it?
[Don't you think it's obvious? I'm you. It's time.]
>...right...you're my inner-self...do I really have to break the seal?
[We got eaten. Our friends got eaten too. We're slowly getting digested. We have the power to save us all. Do we really have to try and convince ourselves to do this?]
>...I wanted to avoid this moment if I could.
[We knew this night was inevitable. We're not exactly normal.]
>*sighs* I guess not.
Pinkie opens her eyes to pitch black. She moves slowly as if swimming in tar at first, but her eyes begin to glow white. She opens her mouth wide.
~Outside of Lennie~
The two Dream Eaters are walking up a mountain that's similar to Canterlot Castle.
{Gee George, I don't feel good.}
{What are you talking about? We did what the Alpha wanted. We're getting rewarded for sure. You should be feeling great Lennie.}
{No George, I mean I feel guuunnnnghh!!!}
{Lennie what's-}
Lennie implodes at one point until his skin rips, spilling his black gooey contents and revealing 3 distinct mounds. The rest of Lennie gets sucked into a gaping mouth with sharp teeth. Cadence and DT gasps for air and coughs.
"*COUGH COUGH* Gag, it's in my mouth!"
'I feel sick. *COUGH COUGH*'
{What the? You're still alive?}
Pinkie grins.
>I know you're not.
She bites his head clean off.
"Pinkie no! I thought you- erngh!"
Cadence pukes out some of the nightmare fuel.
>Don't worry girls. I got this.
She smiles and starts walking towards the sound of growling and children laughter. DT desperately tries to wipe her eyes before puking.
'Bleeegh *COUGH* Cadence! What do you see?!'
Cadence watches Pinkie with her love perception eyes.
"...I saw Pinkie...she's still Pinkie."
>>27797930
>She bites his head clean off.
HOLY SHIT
>>27797930
~~~Cut due to space~~~
"...I saw Pinkie...she's still Pinkie."
'NO SHIT CADENCE!'
>>27797930
>Pinkie Pie, EDGE MODE
Better than it sounds, admittedly.
>>27798223
Why'd you post it a second time?
Ignore>>27798223
What I actually meant was
>Pinkie Pie, EDGE MODE
SHE'S ON THE EDGE, OF GLORY!Fucking phone won't copy shit...
>>27798258
>All just for that joke
Effort well spent.
>>27797930
Well, fuck. Pinikie's going full anime
Maybe she is getting a harem...
>Berry Punch
"Lyra"
~~~
>...wow, I am not sober enough for this.
"Are you actually drunk most of the time? You're super vague about that."
>I'm cradling a freaking barrel, what's vague about that?
"I don't know what's in the barrel."
>Hint, it's something that makes THAT-
~COOOKIIIEEE!~
>-make more sense!
"Is... is it a magical fountain water?"
>...
"...it's actually pretty probable, you have to admit."
>Fucking damn it, I do.
"Sooo-"
>So it's wine.
"Ahhhh."
>...
"Wait, shit. I think you have a problem."
>Yeah, I'm sober and there's a giant filly scout.
"...okay, fair enough."
>>27796303
...could just be a clown.
You don't know.
>>27796971
So, let's see here...
>AJ's problems, the delegates/Rarity's proposal
>Fluttershy and Dash's problems, Giant Fillyscout made out of chaos wrecking Ponyville.
>Celestia's problems, the castle staff have grown tired of her bullshit and are rising up
>Twilight's problems, FRIENDSHIP!
>Chitty's problems, not enough ponies to punch.
>Pinkie Pie's got 99 party's and there ain't a problem in one.
>>27798944
PP's problem is too much Swagger. Haven't you seen? Getting shiny in Canon and his wife inside NC. It's been a hell of a time
Goodnight thread
>>27799458
Night, anon
