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Princess Applejack
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 19
Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.


The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:

~~~~~

>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

~~~~~

Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 147! Applemom must be smiling down from heaven...
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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https:/desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27763205
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
>>
First for Sexy Hooves!
>>
>>27830315
Aw nuts.
>>
>>27830315
Congratulations! Your late night threadstalking has paid off!

Now give us more 12 and SL.
>>
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"Oh? Do you now? Well, I have one too, coincidentally! Me first, since you've got so many. Hey, Applejakck? Why do you think I give a single care?"

>Censoring yer'self, really?

"Two is a tricky little changeling, who hides in all sorts of places."

>Ain't no way she ain't heard Chrysalis say fuck.

"You'd be surprised."

>But whatever, to mah' question, do we have inheritance taxes?

"Inherawhoosywhatnow?"

>Inheritance taxes, you know, taxes on inherited wealth, to prevent there from being a permanent lauded class as top wealth is just passed from pony to pony.

"...er..."

>There isn't, is there?

"Wellll-"

>That's why all these dang ponies in Canterlot are from rich families and total snobs, ain't it?

"They complained that it wouldn't be fair, what with me not having to give anything to be inherited."

>So now we're stuck with a system where ponies on the top of the hill literally just keep all the money, forever. And yer' at the top of that.

"Well when you put it like that-"

>This is all yer' fault.

"FUCK YOU!"

*BACKFLIP!*
*SPLASH!*

>Buildin' a friggen pool down there ain't helpin' yer' point!
>>
>>27830352
>Now give us more 12 and SL.
Oh, I plan to....
>>
>>27830395
Are you also the Spike/Jetset writer? The style looks familiar, but then again a lot of these seem similar even though I know they're different people.

There's actually science behind that with everyone in a group reading the same story eventually gaining similarities in prose, but I'm not going to get that metawanky.
>>
>>27830388
Okay, that was classic style. Take out the Two bit at the front, would have fit right in with thread ONE.
>>
>>27830507
Could've replaced it with Applebloom I guess, but then Celly's line doesn't make sense.

Also, it actually would fit if Two never heard that... because kids show.
>>
>>27830388
To be fair, that would be bullshit too unless she got taxed every hundred years or something.
>>
Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Is Applejack feeling it?
>Check out Pinkie's pink floppy...
>Derpy goes herp.
>Rainbow Dash lost her poor wheatball when Fluttershy sneezed!
>Bon bon is not impressed.
>Blueblood says not to actually eat off his floor.
>Scootaloo does not appreciate this!
>Threesome fanservice!
>>
>>27830714
>>Threesome fanservice!

YES!

YESSS!

My dreams are going to be crushed, aren't they?
>>
>>27830315
Well thank God it was the same as the last few previous headers. Not because it is like them, but because Granny would see them. She's right there. She's right... There.
>>
>>27830720

Depends on if you dream of Bonbon/Berry/Lyra
>>
Goodnight, new thread. We shall break you in tomorrow.
>>
Do I count this has goodnight or good morning
Whatever it is, it's that.
>>
>>27831615
Because any of that made sense.
>>
>>27831915
It's too early to make sense.
>>
>>27830647
But she is literally the government. Her funds are just the treasury, there is nothing to tax.
>>
So, are we doing anything for thread 150?
>>
>>27832614
Probably the same thing we did on 50 + 150
>>
>>27832629
It is time for Applejack and Rarararity and Spikeu to no longer be virgins
>>
>>27832629
So start an 'AJ gets to be awesome' arc (cordy, apple) in thread before and spend a thread doing NC with thread 1 and 100 versions of our guys meeting the current cast, i'm down.
>>
>>27832638
AJ, Cadence, and Chitty we have a lot to talk about.
>>
>>27832668
Sunset too. She was still dead and had faith in ponies at thread 100.
>>
>>27832638
...huh. Both those arcs synced up reay well, didn't they?
>>
>>27832670
It'll be worth it just to see Past Pinkie deal when she learns PL is coming back.
>>
>>27832725
>Oh, okay, so we're destroying the world... Neat.
>>
>>27832633
Don't worry, ___ Beard Mac is on it!
>>
>>27832882
Ohhhh myyyyyy~
>>
OOCO
>Spike
“SA”
‘Poindexter’
(Zephyr)
~Big Mac~
~~~~

>No, Zeph, you can’t be a king.

(But why not? It says I can be anything!)

“We’re an adventuring party, we adventure, why would a king be on an adventure?”

(Doing king stuff!)

‘So, paperwork, working with delegates, managing budgets, commanding an army, and siring an heir? Everything that you could not do on a long walk?’

(I could take the army with me!)

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

(Well, you all could be my army!)

‘Oh wow, an army of three. Truly, you are a great king.’

(Well, fine! Then I’ll just be the one to send you on the quests!)

>Ahem.

(In story, I mean!)

“And then, what? You sit on the throne while we go out and fight?”

(That sounds pretty good, actually.)

>No dice. You’re going to be a farmer.

(Come oonnn! I don’t want to be a stupid farmer, farmers are stupid!)

>…
“…”
‘…’
(What? Should I not have said that?)

~Eeeeeeyup.~

(Okay, who else forgot he was in the room?)

>Not me.

“Nope.”

‘We’ve been quietly discussing builds, actually.’

(Er, S-so! Farmer! Farmer sounds amazing, doesn’t it? Really, like, getting in there… doing work… all day in the sun… and waaiiitting for the crops to grow…)

>…
“…”
‘…’
~…~
(You know what, I can’t even pretend, just make me a mermare you have to drag around. Still better.)

>Mac? Please don’t kill him.

~Actually, Ah’m not one fer’ fightin’.~

‘…wait, really?’

~Eeeenope.~

(Oh, well that’s)

POW!

>…
“…”
‘…I thought you said-‘

(What part’a that looked like a fight? All Ah’ saw was him fallin’ over.)

>…So! Roll!

“I think we need to get some ice-“

>JUST ROLL!

(ow.)
>>
>>27833239
Wasted!
>>
>>27833239
BroNo is a surprisingly fun concept.
>>
>Mane-Iac
“Guard’
~~~~

>AHHHAHAHAH! GUAAARRRDD! I REQUEST PASSAGE, THROOOOOUGH THE MYSTICAL PORTAL, DOWN THE GRANDER HALL, AND INTO THE CHAMBER OF THE SILVER MOKEY- wow even I don’t know where I went with that one.

“…”

>I need to use the portal!

“I’m not allowed to do that unless someone is accompanying you.”

>YOU FOOL! YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP THE MECHNATIONS OF THE MAAAANE-IAC!?

“Do you know how to turn it on?”

>…CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

“Have you been?”

“Nope! Be right back!”

WHA-CHA!

SWING!

“…how does she do that indoors?”
>>
Going to finally get the raid up tomorrow.

Trying to refamiliarize the new diplomacy in Stellaris and work ate up most of my time.
>>
>>27833903
I get that reference, and feel so old...

>>27834005
It begins again!
>>
>10
{BBB}
~~~

>Whoooa nelly! Look at that thing!

The ‘Fillyscout’, or at least that’s what it had been once upon a time, kept up her assault of fiery rain. Through it, her Best Camerapony kept his lens pointed square at her and steady, even while ducking and weaving through every attack.

{BZZT! Friend Ten, should we engage?}

>Nuh uh, BBB. We gotta keep it steady. We’re here to report on the action, not get in the middle of it.

{BZZT! This statement has been made many times, error conflict when trying to correlate with times of inactivity!}

>Hey, you never know! Maybe this is the one time we actually just report on it… BBB!

{ENGAGING!}

His rockets suddenly flared, becoming two massive streams of fire that sent him flying fast enough to qualify as a Wonderbolts. He ducked low, so low he nearly touched the ground, before plucking up a stray colt in mid run, just before a fireball landed in the exact spot he had been mere seconds ago.

>You okay?

After giving a shocked nod, the colt was planted far enough away from the action to be out of danger, and given a stern head pat by the changeling.

>You stay clear, okay! I hate writing obituaries.

{BZZT!}

His chest compartment popped open, and out came a tiny arm with a lollipop on the end.

{Instead of being burned, take this!}

The colt nodded more robitcally than the machine, and with that done, BBB took back to the skies.

>…That one didn’t count.

{BZZT! Affirmative!}

>See? That’s why you’re best camera pony.

{BZZT!}
>>
>>27834098
Still best Bot.
>>
>Lyra
“Bonbon”
~~~

>Are you gonna fight it now?

“If I didn’t want to fight it before, why would I want to fight it now!?”

>Because this would be way cooler.

“But I’d die you idiot!”

>Yeah, but you’d look way cooler doing it.

“I’m not going to fight that thing!”

>Hey! That is not a thing, that is a proud filly thank you very much, and you should not deny her gender!

“…All you had?”

>I’m running on empty.

“It shows.”

>…so should we run?

“To Berry’s house?”

>What? No, her place always gets wrecked.

“So does mine, Discord never fixed it after he broke my toilet.”

>Well, we can’t go to mine.

“Does it get destroyed too?”

>No, I just don’t want you touching my stuff.

“…”

>To the Spa!

“…”

>…You mad now?

“Little bit.”

>Shoot.
>>
>>27834205
Kinda funny how the lings we see the least are some of the nicest.
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>... She's not coming back, is she?

"The Copyright calls her, Shiny!

>Wow, that has to be creepy. Learning you're just some puppet for a mega corporation. Just an image used to sell stuff.

"Mostly play sets in your case."

>It's- wait what?

"Don't think too much about that, Shiny, just enjoy the time you have."

>... That just reminds me of my mortality, and now I want to go do something stupid and have fun so not to think about it.

"Pinkie knows how to play the game, Shiny."

>I didn't hear you, and I don't care. Lets go do something crazy!

"Pfft... And Chrysalis gets all the hype."

>Lets go!

"Coming!...puppet."
>>
>>27834617
I think 42 and 18 are nice to most.
>>
>>27834787
And then, you know... Two.

The bug with the hug
>>
>>27834787
And 77s pretty good.

Juggle jack is a nice fellow.

... Pretty much everyone except 32 and 7, actually.
>>
>>27834965
29 is only bro tier if he likes you, otherwise he's a dick.
>>
>Cantie
“Cantie2”
~~~

>So why do you have a gun?

“You saw that thing’s head get ripped off! This could be war! It could all be over! We could be seeing the end of Equestria here!”

>The end of Equestria.

“Yes!”

>The place with not one, not two, not three, not even four anymore, but FIVE different alicorns, and one kinda-alicorn.

“That one!”

>The one currently using the chaos god DISCORD in it’s fights.

“The same!”

>And you, some smuck with a gun, is going to be the one to save it. You, a guy who is so outclassed by a powerful unicorn alone, let alone a pony who can move a celestial body, that he would be run over in seconds, is going to turn the tide of battle… with gun.

“This one, yes!”

>…why.

“Hey, what are the odds ever single solitary action movie ever made is lying to me?”

>…

“Pew pew!”

>Stop.

“Let me dream, you asshole.”
>>
>>27835152
Sorry buddy, you arent.. Uh...

What's a good horse pun for John McClain?
>>
>18
“42”
~~~

>A what!?

“Exactly what I was thinking. Exactly that.”

>See, this is why I don’t hang out with those idiots.

“…”

>What? You’re obviously excluded, being present, and not an idiot.

“I’ll take the compliment and ignore the offense to my kind as a whole.”

>Pfft, we’re mostly a bunch of wandering bug monsters, we kind of gave up the right to be offended.

“I do not think that is how that works.”

>Then good for you that I know so much about how things work I could tell you exactly where our plumbing goes.

“…wait, where does it go? We’re in the middle of an icy tundra, it’s not like we have a river to send it into. How does our plumbing flow, and where does it go?”

>You know what, on second thought let’s change the subject.

“I’m actually interested in this now!”

>Don’t you want to hear about how sexy Shiny looks when he showers?

“I know that, I’ve been there in the locker room, we both-“

>I can tell you about Cadence too!

“You were there after the Gala! You know! We both know! This is not as interesting as the sewer thing!”

>Fine, don’t you want to know what it feels like to kiss them?

“I’ve kissed both! Both of them! One of them even romantically! Stop stalling and get back to the sewage!”

>I think you’re missing the point-

“TELL ME ABOUT THE SEWER, WHERE IS THE POOP!?”

>…

“…”

>…

“…that came out wrong.”

>Subject changed?

“Nope!”

>Crap.

“Exactly!”

>…

“…okay now you can change it.”
>>
>>27835392
Bon McClain
>>
>>27834787
>18
>Nice
The only people she's nice to are those she helps with paperwork, guards, SA, Two, and Cadence
>>
>>27835679
She's nice to 42 and Applejack too. The former is her best friend even.

She gets along great with Twi. Is friends with Dash. Annnd... well, she gave her secretary a job, and was nice to her then.

Oh, and she fucking LOVES the Empire.
>>
>>27835727
Huh. I guess I forgot about all of that after seeing her get angry at most changelings and uppity with anyone else she doesn't know.
>>
>CC
“Derpy”
~~~

>OH MY GOSH! It’s just as the prophesy said!

“The prophesy said that a giant fillyscout would attack Ponyville?”

>Well, it might’ve been called something else, but yes. Fire from the sky, just like they said!

“They said that there would be a fillyscout screaming something about fire safety?”

>They might’ve said something else, like meteors, but the point remains!... GASP! And she’s revealed that isn’t her final form! Just like the prophesy!

“Oh, then what is it?”

>I don’t know I didn’t get that far, needed more potions.

“…wait.”

>What?

“Was this a game?”

>Silly Dee… life is a game.

“…mind… blown…”
>>
>>27835894
How could you forget about the Empire thing? That's literally her main thing after 'Wants dat Shiny D"
>>
>>27835931
Strangely, it came BEFORE "Hummnahummnawhitey"
>>
LAST THREAD RECAP, LET FREEDOM RING EDITION!
>Twilight's musing is interrupted by PJ, who says some uncouth things about her mother, and summarily gets covered in potatoes for her trouble.
>PJ's words about Blueblood and Arana's mother does not endear them to help.
>Dinner with SA, Pinkie and 18 goes weird thanks go 42
>The nightguards aren't going to do shit unless Luna tells them to, explicitly.
>JJ and Acty's attempts to get 32 to believe them fail, and the house never stops tormenting them.
>QS's attempts to get Gambling his job back goes poorly, and he ends up running again.
>Celly realizes that even when she wins, Applejack wins harder. She starts to worry, So she sends a guard out to get her bubblehorse. The guard has no idea who she's talking about, but goes anyway.
>CC and Derpy continue to be silly.
>Dash and Harry clash when he refuses to move, it somehow ends with them thinking about making a movie.
>Turns out Velvet has been giving Cadence fertility stuff to get a bunch of grandbabies, it hasn't worked because no sex.
>Igneous and Cloudy wonder if anyone ever questioned the matchmaker rock.
>Lyra wonders if Bonbon is too old.
>SP and 41 are tired of the wrestlers talking.
>Several one shots with the staff, which culminates when the guard from earlier comes looking for 'bubblehorse' and they all realize she only ever calls them by nicknames like 'painthorse' or 'mophorse' or something.
>So, naturally, they revolt.
>The changeling from last thread who charged up to go tell his Queen to be cool again manages to get past the guard in front of the portal, who turned out to be an escape mental penitent, and gets caught up in said revolt.
>He does not get to join in the musical, no matter how much he wants to.
>29 does not drown, no matter how much Luna wants him to.
>When everyone falls asleep afterwards, she decides she's bored and goes into his dreams.
>Pinkie makes a racist ride, which is defeated by wigs.
1/5FHOLYFUCKSOMUCH
>>
>>27836072
>77's attempts to gather up forces goes poorly, and he learns the truth of the clones.
>Fluttermom and Dad wonder why their kid hasn't written before deciding to go and cuddle a bit.
>That's not euphemism, they just like holding hooves and cuddling. It's weird.
>42 wants a ferris wheel for PL because she liked it when Shiny took her on it.
>Fuzzy and the Buzz keep you updated.
>Chitania, while destroying another gang, muses that she failed to really raise her daughter to be strong, 13 was strong in spite of her, not because of it, and as a result she wonders how much time she's missing with her now.
>Twilight's attempts to search for her friends starts with fire. It's not her fault, but she really shouldn't be happy about that.
>Spitfire says clearing the clouds would be impossible even for Celestia and Luna, cue the laughter.
>Fluttershy, seeing the Fillyscout's destruction, wonders how much longer she has left before she becomes like Discord.
>42 gets a recap of all the lings who have left, but stops when they get to the one who went to go work with Photo Finish, seemingly on a porno.
>Twilight tries the first house, Twinkleshine's, and it turns out she's left. Same for Minuette. Both have really weird new residents.
>Dash and Harry on are the ropes when they're suddenly attacked by a mass of Lice, which had been on the scout before she supersized, and now were trying to eat them. They're almost overwhelmed before they get help from none other than 77!
>Berry Punch needs a drink.
>Celstia, bored, starts talking with the doll version of herself.
>Pinkie's plans for Partyland ruin's Shining's walls. Don't ask how.
>Dash asks if 77 is winging this, but he has a plan!
>he needs to get to the top of the filly and take over her mind. Then he can tell her to stop. Agreeing with this, Dash clears the way with a sonic boom.
>When Harry asks why they don't just fly, 77 says this is more fun.
2/5WHYYY
>>
>>27836080
>They make it to the top of the Scout, and the mind control seems to be working! All is well!
>"A-CHOO!"
>Cue the Filly now being something out of a boss battle, complete with superform which she outright says isn't her final form.
>Pinkie's fireworks for grand opening get used early.
>Hat shopping with 2 and 42 is weird.
>Mane-Iac wanted to be a part of Partyland, but Pinkie informs her she can't because she doesn't own the copyright. Shining also can't, which confuses mane-Iac, so she decides to go find this holder of copyright herself!
>AB, SB and SL think they're dead for a second and lament their lives, before it turns out they just got pushed into the ceiling. Stangely, the rising water should still be headed towards that cable-
>ZAP!
>A changeling steps forwards to begin a study program with Applejack!
>The changelings confuse themselves about law and one runs off to go be a lawyer
>The servants reach Celestia, still chanting, and she laments she's going to burn everything to the ground.
>Sunset, while working on the stuff for Chitty, gets visited by Sweet Note, who begins to talk to her. Shockingly, Sweet Note considers Sunset a friend, which shocks her, and she wonders what Sunset's going to do when she rules the world, thinking that's what her and Chitty are doing. Sunset says she's not, but asks SN what she would do. SN just says she wants to keep having fun, she doesn't want anything else than what she has now, which Sunset doesn't believe.
>The mare decides to wait for Chitania, while Sunset whispers to herself they're not taking over the world, but doing something much... bigger.
>>BUT FOR THE MAIN EVENT!
>AJ calls Rarity's proposal dumb, and stretches out explaining what it is while arguing with her.
>When she finally says what it is, it turns out to be Rarity wants to open up their doings to a third party to ensure they are held accountable for their actions.
>"They" meaning all of them. Chrysalis included.
>Cue "HAH!"
3/5HAVETOREADITALL
>>
>>27836093
>The Maretonians and Saddle Arabians start taking bets on who is going to punch who.
>Chrysalis goes off on her cackling, blowing off Rarity hard despite AJ's attempts to calm her down, and Rarity's insistence she needs it more than any of them.
>The Maretonian Duchess agrees, and Chrysalis does not take that well.
>Worse, the Saddle Arabian mare delegate goes off her rocker right there, no longer putting up with Chrysalis's intimidation. She's so angry and sure of herself, she commands the peacock airship to move to the window and arm it's mouth cannon.
>She smugly tells Chrysalis her days are number, and charges the weapon, threatening Chrysalis when the Queen mocks her.
>The threat falls flat when Chrysalis uses her magic, and rips the things head right off, chucking it straight up into the air.
>Needless to say, now the four foreigners are horrified, and fear for their lives when Chrysalis advances on them.
>So AJ hits her with cake.
>...Cake.
>And then a foodfight happens between the two and Rarity, because of course it did.
>Cadence explains this is their first day.
>They descend into madness and accusations, flinging cake and insults everywhere.
>Eventually the delegates get ready to leave, and AJ and Chrysalis can't think of anything to stop them. When Chrysalis asks Cadence for help, she finds her despondent and thinking herself a failure, and the princess can't get up.
>It's right around here they realize they never even told the delegates what this was all abut, and to be frank they don't care anymore.
>In desperation, Chrysalis says to Cadence to tell her what to do, whatever it takes, and she'll do it. She says she trusts her, and she'll do whatever it takes. When Cadence says she can't, do anything, Chrysalis replies she still believes in her, like Cadence did to her.
>Cadence finds the fire back, and gets an idea.
>She tells Chrysalis... to be herself.
>Strangely, this doesn't backfire!
4/5SOMEAN
>>
>>27836099
>Chrysalis does as told, and says aloud how much a shame it is they don't want to know about it, but they'll find out soon enough.
>After she says this in the most creepy way possible, the others stay, and listen, but take it as a threat.
>So, Cadence tells Applejack to forget where she is, and be herself.
>Cue Applejack cutting in every time Chrysalis speaks to give the "Not Creepy and actually Honest" version of whatever she's saying.
>With both of them working together, the other four eventually understand their plan to sell Sparklejoules, contained in a Love Harness, in order to provide competition for Unicorn Magic, and also provide jobs to earth ponies or pegasi who otherwise couldn't, as Changelings can get love from anyone.
>Finally, after a long debate among themselves, they decide they'll consider it. All talk of war is gone, and instead, they're actually considering opening up trade with the changelings for this resource, seeing the pros it has to offer.
>They leave, and everyone can finally relax, allowing Applejack to declare "It could have gone worse"
>Finally, in the end, they know who to 'blame'
>"Cadence? This is all yer' fault."
>The princess has never been happer.
>At least until Rarity mentions her proposal again.
>"OH COME ON!"

Congrats to the nuPB anon, who will hopefully oneday make these all pointless, meaning I've wasted hours of my life.

As always, if I missed anything, waste some of yours and tell me what's missing!
>>
>>27836111
We are all wasting our time, creating, reading, and arguing about a derivative work of a children's cartoon that only a few hundred people will ever see. It is all pointless, we are just having fun killing the time.
>>
>>27835907
To be fair, Chitty pissed off an RPG hero once...
>>
`>>27836432
Chitty pissed off EVERYONE!

I wonder if those guys ever finished gluing Mogogo back together...
>>
>Applejack
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~Rarity~
~~~

This room was going to be nothing but a burnt husk of bad memories when they were done. It wasn't going to be a question of when, but who did it first.

>Yer' really gonna do this now!?

~I simply must! I've already gone this far, it's too late to turn back now, no matter how unpleasant it may be!~

"Oh hey, that's what Caddy said when she finally had sex with Shining."

'I did not! Lies!'

"Then tell us what you actually said. Prove me wrong!"

'I asked him if he had a condom.'

>...

'It's what I said.'

"I understand you so much more now."

~Your attempts to dissuade me with your talk shall not avail you! We are discussing this matter like adults!~

>Chrysalis, do the laugh!

"HAH!"

~Not enough, this time!~

>Dang it, she's grown immune.

"Whatever, just let her do what she wants."

>Yer' seriously agreein' to this!?

"What? No, it's stupid, I just know she can't do anything about it. What, is she going to try to arrest me when I tell her to shove her proposal up her ass? I'm not an Equestrian citizen!"

~Despite living here, sleeping here, being fed here, working for this place...~

"There's only two ponies who's love I take into me, and neither of them live here."

'Do you have to put it like that?'

>She does.

"Not my fault it's so easy to talk about all the sweet white flavor I get to drink up."

>See? She's gotta do it, Ah' think her head hurts when she doesn't.

"Just like my head hurts thinking about how dumb it is that you think I'd actually let you send someone to look over me and penalize me. HAH!

~If my proposal goes through, either you will, or you'll be barred from seeing the royals of Equestria for your little 'fun' ever again!~

"...Come again?"

That, at last, seemed to cut through the brazen flare of the changeling Queen.

1/4
>>
>>27836780

~You heard me! This proposal also includes anyone whom we spend a large amount of leisure time with regarding the heads of other countries, just to ensure they never influence us negatively, or we allow them access to other boons that we would not grant other countries! If you want to keep playing your games with Celestia and so on, then you'll have to finally start acting like a responsible adult!~

That, at last, took the smile off her face.

What came instead was a toothy, fanged frown that was eerily akin to a cat who had been pushed into a tub of water.

>...Wow, really Rar?

'That is... kind of mean.'

Despite this, the pony stood her ground, not shying away under the heated glare.

~You give me one other thing that would reach her, and I'll strike every word of it! I'll take it all back, the instant you give me one other way to get her to agree to finally have some consequences for the things she does!~

Te silence, somehow, hurt worse than the words.

"...Tell me, this proposal... who is going to vote on it?"

The slick, easygoing voice that she spoke was everything she hadn't been expecting. It lacked any of the fire and venom she had foreseen as she wrote up the words, and it's casual nature put her more on edge than either of those ever could.

~Why... the citizens, of course. It wouldn't do to have it be decided by the very ones who it will be the most detrimental to.~

"And this has already been put forwards, no time to take it back now?"

Her frown remained stern and resolute as ever, but underneath, something was starting to get to her.

~Yes, it's too late to take it back now. So, you'll just have to deal with it!~

"...very well."

The smile was the thing that finally managed what simple words could not.

2/4
>>
>>27836790

"If you want to play the game of politics, Rarity... I'll be more than happy to be across the board. But do be careful, who knows what kind of feathers you may ruffle. Or rather, what chitin you may start to chafe."

The former unicorn wavered.

But she did not back down.

"I've played this game a thousand times, I've seen a thousand opponents rise and fall. I've seen puppeteers so full of themselves they can't even see the strings, before it begins to tighten around their neck."

Her resolve nonetheless wavered, and her hooves seemed far more unstable than they had been, when that smile twisted, and the chitinous hooves began miming actions most unsettling.

She did not want to let the Queen see her sweat.

"They always seem to lose sight of things just when they realized they're too tangled to ever escape, and I always grow bored..."

She failed.

"...around the time when they're gasping for air, and begging me to just let them di-"

'HUGS!'

The jaws of both Chrysalis and Rarity promptly hit the floor, all of the burning tension between them literally abruptly melting away.

Applejack, on the other hoof, just laughed her ass off at their looks while trying not to look at the breathtaking image of Princess Cadence smiling while rubbing her cheek all along Chrysalis's loing neck, and her raucous laughter only began to recede when the pink pony princess pulled back from the frozen changeling after giving one last, loving nuzzle, a flat shrug on her shoulders when her fellow princess shot her an unspoken question as to why.

'She was going into that weird mode, I had to stop her!'

>AHAHAHAH! AHhhhhoooohhh... really? That's what came ta' mind?

'It works when Two does it!"

>Okay, that's somehow funnier, ya' made mah' day.... so, you two done?

The Queen tried to clear her throat as quickly as she could to resume her former stance, instead just sounding like she was drowning on dry land.

3/4
>>
>>27836797

The Princess let out a scoff and pointed her nose to the air, trying to hide the blush and utterly failing.

>Alright. So it's already through, we can't do anythin' about it anyway?

~I'm afraid not, darling! It's out there now.~

>Well, then ain't nothin' to do. Wish ya' had asked us first, but Ah' guess you gotta do yer' own things sometimes, and Ah' know you feel bad about what happened, Ah' understand.

White shoulders went limp when she heard the kind words, feeling a little more at ease, and just a little guilty.

'So... what now? Do you want to try again with some more delegates?'

The silence said it all.

'Point taken.'

"So what do we do?"

>Well, ya'll can do whatever ya' want. Me?...

The former earth pony shrugged, leaned back in her chair, and smile

>Ah' think Ah' need a dang vacation.
>>
>>27836807
>Caddy solving problems with hugs

She's learning.
>>
>>27836807
KISS HER YOU FOOL
>>
>>27837082
If you mean AJ and Rarity, I'm all for that.
>>
>>27836807
Great plan and all rarara, but you are in a catch 22 with chrysalis.
>she doesn't hold any political power in any form.
>she hasn't been evil in forever so the only thing you're doing is trying to make her paranoid again
>Having a hard time thinking of a character who is not subservient to Chrysalis, has no bias against lings, and doesn't also fall under this blanket of checks and balances.
>this really doesn't need to include her until she makes her own nation which goes against the reasoning of her needing this to be responsible and disincentives her to pursue it as she is only sitting on her ass in between catastrophes

>"finally have some consequences"
She was beaten, imprisoned, then pardoned for her crimes. So you are trying to punish her for being a bitch? or because her Equestria saving counter is as big as yours? Seems like you are projecting your faults as you are the one who has been living without consequence. She pisses off Shiny and Cadence enough to kick her out, she's dead. She is beholden to them and therefore they are her check as much as her enablers.
>>
>>27837155
It'd kinda fascinating, because Rar is currently stuck in the same mode AJ was pre-Apple Crazy, she only saw the selfish side of her, not the side AJ saw when she beat the black off her.

Rar-crazy when?
>>
>>27836807
Someone please slap Chrysalis

Please
>>
>>27837268
They don't have the same chemistry for it to work. This is like starting AJ/Chrysalis from scratch.
>Twilight took 40 threads and two failures
>AJ took 113 threads and at least three failures
>Fluttershy took 30 threads and 1 apology
>Spike got reset after thread 24-26 and took 80 threads and an OOCO arc
>Cadence took 26 threads
>Shiny took 9 threads
>Celestia took 2 threads
>Dash, Rarity, and Luna are ongoing and not worked on.

>>27837352
We just did, with a cake. She doesn't need to get her ass kicked every event.
>>
>>27837268
Is there really any other side to her?

Nor seriously, tell me, all I see is "me me me me me pssht nothing personell kid *firelights away*"
>>
>>27837384
Rarity, stop posting. We have shown her be selfless and considerate on many occasions. Just because you see everything she does as self serving doesn't make it so.
>>
>>27837352
HUGS ARE BETTER!
>>
>>27837155
>TFW your response to this is apparently spam

WHAT THE FUCK
>>
>>27837155
>>she doesn't hold any political power in any form.

But she does hold a lot of personal power, which makes it near impossible for anyone to call her out, especially the weaker ponies. I think that's what she's going for.

>>she hasn't been evil in forever so the only thing you're doing is trying to make her paranoid again

I doubt she's worried about making her paranoid, she has a goal and she's trying her best to make it real, she just focuses on Chrysalis because no matter what shit she pulls, Chrysalis gives no fucks and laughs off the idea of actually paying for it. She does, but never through her own acceptance.

>not subservient to Chrysalis, has no bias against lings, and doesn't also fall under this blanket of checks and balances.

Fancy?

>l she makes her own nation

She just said it includes her NOW, and she doesn't know about the nation thing. She seems to just be going after those who are too high to be called out, for obvious reasons.

> She pisses off Shiny and Cadence enough to kick her out, she's dead.

Technically she'd just go back into TAKEOVERTHEWORLD! mode, and have a fully charged hive while being alicorn powered herself, and now knows all the weaknesses of the ones who stopped her before.

>She is beholden to them

This is true but unless you saw her with them, you wouldn't know that.

>Seems like you are projecting your faults as you are the one who has been living without consequence.

That actually seems like a pretty good interpretation, she's seeing all the faults that have always been there and all the illegal stuff everyone did, and everyone has got away with at least one, and she's pushing back super hard specifically because she's ashamed of it. Maybe that's why she wants Chrysalis to be in it so much, she sees herself there.

>>27837268
>Rar-Crazy

Pls no, Rarity has suffered enough. A shameful part of me actually wanted her to drop it, but I acknowledge that it's better for her character not to ignore it again.
>>
>>27837384
Sure there is. Can't see it? That's fine.

Cause he believed in her, and she didn't let him down.
>>
>>27837551
>But she does hold a lot of personal power, which makes it near impossible for anyone to call her out, especially the weaker ponies. I think that's what she's going for.
You mean the canterlot guard, cause she doesn't interact with a common pones
>I doubt she's worried about making her paranoid, she has a goal and she's trying her best to make it real
I get that she wouldn't see that, but it is unfortunate consequence
>Chrysalis gives no fucks and laughs off the idea of actually paying for it. She does, but never through her own acceptance.
With Rarity, it would be because her legislation under normal circumstances would not effect her. and for the other part that is arrogance and the fact that she always gets knocked back down is points against her needed more regulation as she is almost always paying for the things she does. Thinking she needs an attitude adjustment is not law worthy.
>Fancy
Maybe.
>She just said it includes her NOW, and she doesn't know about the nation thing. She seems to just be going after those who are too high to be called out, for obvious reasons.
Next to Celestia, Chrysalis gets the most shit for even trying to do anything with said personal power
>Technically she'd just go back into TAKEOVERTHEWORLD! mode, and have a fully charged hive while being alicorn powered herself, and now knows all the weaknesses of the ones who stopped her before.
Cool, Discord or Fluttershy beat her and with no incoming love they slowly starve
>This is true but unless you saw her with them, you wouldn't know that.
She did, Cadence's first big moment was telling Chrysalis to make up with Twilight or she gets bared from the empire, and queen bitch caved. Rarity was present.
>>
>>27837443
Hugs are always better.

Because they lead to much more fun things!
>>
>>27837757
>Cool, Discord or Fluttershy beat her and with no incoming love they slowly starve

Not him, but couldn't she just... I dunno, mindcontrol Fluttershy and boom, no more Discord? She did it before, she does it all the time even when helping her. She even knows how to wipe out personalities in her now, she could turn FS into a puppet barrier and Discord can't do shit.

Game has changed from when she was getting tormented, now she could feasibly wreck everyone because she knows exactly how they all work and what their weaknesses are. She wouldn't get hit by a wild bubbleshield and she knows what Discord is, what he's capable of and who's side he's on, and most importantly she knows he's there.

I'm not saying she would or even that Rarity thinks that, just saying that's plausible now, she controls Fluttershy so much that if she really was that paranoid she'd put in a Manchurian trigger in case Discord tried to fuck her up.
>>
>>27837805
She doesn't have that much power, her mind control needs to be constantly reinforced or it wears off. Add to it that Fluttershy can't really undo Discord so much as absorb his magic he just needs to get the bitch alone and it is over. He has mind control of his own and since arana could control Chrysalis I'm sure she can be Discorded.
>>
>>27837887
>She doesn't have that much power, her mind control needs to be constantly reinforced or it wears off

Which is what she's been doing.

>He has mind control of his own and since arana could control Chrysalis I'm sure she can be Discorded.

Arana couldn't control her, you mean the mind-weave thing? That was NC'd precisely because Chrysalis is fortified against Queen level mind control, and it didn't make sense why Arana's would work when others far stronger than her would have tried.

Discord TRIED to Discord her once, remember? She just shrugged it off.
>>
>>27837887
>She doesn't have that much power,

To mind control her, wipe out her memories, control her or alter her personality? She's done all of that to Fluttershy at one point.

"Constantly reinforced" just means she would have to keep FS around her at all times... which is exactly what she would want. FS's absorption is so bad Discord can't even be around her when she's at her worst, he had to steer clear of the entire planet during Cordyceps for that exact reason. The planet! Because otherwise the Cordy would have absorbed all of his chaos, which we know from the show is totally doable. Also, he's>>27837982 right that Discord tried to fuck with her mind once, but she didn't shrug it off, she just has mind-magic in place to make her remember herself if something like that should happen, she used the same style, not the same one, when she was drunk to make herself seem sober even though she wasn't. The option is there now that Chrysalis has been inside her mind and knows how to fuck with FS.
>>
>Sweeps Mcenzee
"Nurse Shots"
~~~

>Eyyy, baby! Looks like those other cool cat staffers are staging a revolt!

"Oh, Sweeps Mckenzee, what are we going to do!?"

>Nothing baby doll, we're just going to hop on my bike and twenty two skidoo out of here! No need for you to muss up your pretty little hair worrying about those squares!

"Oh Sweeps, you know just how to... sweep me off my hooves!"

*CUE LAUGH TRACK!*

>Come on, sugar gal! Let's ride!

"...wait, you mean you have an actual bike? That's not slang for Hoverbikes or something?... Speaking of, we really neglected that world changing discovery."

>Come on fly gal, how am I going to afford one of those on a sweepers salary?

"Wait, you actually sweep the floor!?"

>What did you think I did? It's my name.

"Yeah, but I thought you uh... Mckenzeeed?"

>...

*Laughs intensify*

"Look, I think I'm out of your league."

>Whooaaa baby, where's this coming from!?

"I just think I'm a bit above it."

*Ooooohhhh*

>And what makes you ride so high?

"I'm a third year med student, which is why I'm a nurse. Internships."

>Oh...

"So yeahhh, might be a little too dignified here."

>Would a dignified honey have worn cat ears and gone 'kitty wants her milk' last night?

"..."

>...

"...Oh Sweeps! I'd ride with you anywhere!"

>Hold on, cause this hog has some power behind it!

"You are so lucky you're good in bed."

>It's literally my only redeeming feature!

*They zoom off*

*Sad laugh track!*
>>
>>27837757
>Next to Celestia, Chrysalis gets the most shit for even trying to do anything with said personal power

She doesn't really deserve it, I feel. Yeah, she's a bitch, but she's actually rather coy with her powers, not to say she doesn't flaunt it but when push comes to shove she's a planner and a thinker in battle, not a beamspammer.
>>
>>27837597
That was seriously my fav moment of Apple-Crazy. I'm not even lying when I say I loved it way more than even AJ's final speech or the grand epic battle, just Chrysalis saying she's willing to go all out down to brass tacks and below because someone truly believed in her and she had to prove them right was glorious.
>>
>>27838110
Celestia has the weirdest fucking staff on the planet.
>>
>>27836807
Are we actually, finally, getting AJ going back to see her family?
>>
>>27836668
They got Cordied, so probably not.
>>
>>27835670
That's not a horse Pun, that's a character pun!

See me after class!
>>
>>27835931
I said "those she helps with paperwork" as in "those she helps via the paperwork".

Like, all the citizens she assists.
>>
>>27839217
That kind of diminishes it a little bit. Like, the way you put it, it didn't seem quite as big as it really is. Saying just whoever she helps out with the paperwork isn't really on the same level as saying an entire city.

Especially when talking about saying she's not that nice to that many, when you put it in the context of it's an entire city it's actually pretty damn big.
>>
>>27838753 right in time to fight that giant girl scout.
>>
>>27837597
>Muh habeeb in Ste-Chrysalis

Why should anyone listen or put faith in that cuck-stallion?
>>
>>27839731
Out of the frying pan and Into the Fire.
>>
>>27839189
All the same, I kind of want to see Lye Hard now
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~

>What is that?

"Which one? I have like, a dozen rides up on your wall."

>That glue is still going to wreck my wall, but I mean this one in particular, this ride.

"Which one?"

>The... well, the one that's tall, and long.

"..."

>It has a narrow, yet still somehow impressive girth...

"..."

>It's kinda... floppy?

"..."

>The pink one!

"OHHHHHH! That thing right there!"

>...

"Yeah, that's not a ride, that's just a concept image I stuck up there by accident. Whoops!"

>Then.. then what is that-

"You'll know, in time."

>....I'm worried.

"Too bad, it's already too late."
>>
>>27841558
WHITE BOOTY TARGETED

ENGAGE
>>
>>27841323
Wait, would Lyra be a good or bad guy in that scenario?
>>
>>27839404
She's nice to the citizens when she's helping them with the paperwork but I can't really recall any on-screen interactions with her and anyone that she did not know that went pleasantly.

Which I guess is her main thing, but it makes it
easy to forget how helpful and nice she is when she curses at almost everyone we actually see her talk to.
>>
>Nurse Redheart
“Berry”
~~~

>You want me to give you medical alcohol.

“Yep.”

>Because dealing with this giant filly thing is just too hard for you.

“Real problem, I’m sure you get it.”

>So instead of dealing with it yourself, you want me to give you medical chemicals needed in case someone actually gets hit by one of those giant fireballs.

“They can walk it off.”

>And you don’t want me to punch you.

“I’d prefer it not, yeah.”

>Then you’re in luck.

“Why’s that?”

>Because I remember I’m a pony.

POW!

>And we BUCK! We don’t punch!

“MY EYE!”
>>
>>27842110
NC
>42
~~~~

>…I sense a disturbance in the force…
>>
>>27841821
She would be neither, she would just be Hard
>>
I haven't slept...I've done nothing, but play Civ 5 all day and night.
NC
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but some of us have Civilization on the mind!

"I'm the pretty one <3 and I'm going for a culture victory with the unicorns."

'I'm the grumpy one and I'm going for a domination victory using pegasi.'

>And I'm the crazy one and I'm going for a tech victory using Earth Ponies!
They surround a round table the projects a map of the land.

"WHY WON'T YOUR DEFENSES BREAK!? My tourism output should be making your people miserable!"

'I'm trying to go around her melee units, but her cannons are just destroying me. Why do you even need that many cannons you're not going to attack!?'

>I like having cannons! The Red Fort wonder gives all my defensive buildings a bonus!

"But my tourism should be making your people unhappy! Why aren't they rioting?"

>I'm at 1 happiness right now. I bribed all the city-states I could so I could get their luxuries. You should have made friends with them.

'Some of us were busy using our money to build an army. You're making us look dumb with your literacy.'

>I'm giving my people their edumacation! It's what Twi would want!

"DT, I think it's time."

'Yep...'

"'Synchronized Coup d'État!'"

>Eh? My allies!

'That's right we overthrew your city-state supporters. They're with us now.'

"YEEEEAH! EAT IT! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR HAPPINESS!"

>NUUUUUU!!!

'Wow, that's some heavy happiness penalties. It'd be a shame if...somepony attacked your units.'
A sad tune plays as Pinkie's units die off.

>Cadence, have mercy!

"...you should have thought have that when you took my settlement spot."
Pinkie's Capital is captured.

>*GASP* Just you wait, I'll take my capital b-

'Actually, I should probably wake up soon.'

"Same, it was fun. Bye, Pinkie."

>Wait I'm still in the...*sigh* I'll never be able to finish a game.
>>
>>27842498
...God I'm tired.
>>
>>27842421
Sorry Punchbug, you don't make anatomical sense.
>>
>>27842498
>Playing Civ before bed

YOU FOOOOOOLLLL
>>
>>27842498
And that's why you never rely on Mercantile City-States for happiness in a multiplayer game.
>>
>>27842498
Ahhh, Civ.

The black hole of life and all it's joys
>>
>Luna
“29”
~~~

>Why do thou’s dreams always seem so colorless at first? Technically impressive, but vacant.

“I have wrought in mine mind a veritable recreation of the very city of Hoofshire! Tis a spot on impression, doubt me if thou can!”

>Why hoofshire, though?

“Tis a grand place of glory and splendor, with many a fine dinery to be held to give a symphony to thine tastebuds!”

>No love for the actual symphony?

“HACKS! Filthy mongrels of hacks!”

>RACIST!

“…”

>We get to do that now, the players are diamond dogs.

“What!? B-but they were ponies last time my presence graced the land!”

>They’re diamond dogs now.

“But-“

>Too late, thou art a racist, and we all know once the name has been attached there is no fleeing the connotation that it holds with it. You shall spend the rest of your life with that fact. A racist, for all time!

“NOOOOO! CURSE THEE MINE HEART THAT HAS BETRAYED ME! Curse my mind… curse my soul most tainted! If it shall take the sea of my tears to wash myself clean, I shall weep all seven to be sure! Low is my heart. Low is my body. Low… is my soul. Where it belongs, in the ground. Low… and lower still, to the depths that will take me, when no others will. Low… and forgotten, I begin to weep.”

>…

“…Well?”

>Hrmph. We think the zebra is better than you. We’re going to go venture to her dreams.

“WAIT! Take me with-“

Too late, she had already faded away.

“…I thought it was pretty good.”
>>
>Head Mobster
"Mobster"
'Other Mobster'

"Okay boss, we got it all loaded up."

>Any word from Skinny about Tubbs?

'Nah boss, want I should go check again?'

>Eh, fuck'em, they probably ran off. Told their mama they shoulda stayed on the docks, too soft for the big time.

"But uh, ain't we gonna need a lookout still?"

>Nobody but nobody's gonna come lookin' through a bunch of rubble. Bobby Split-Hoof and Stitches'll be in town soon enough for us to cart the goods off hidden under some of that junk and skip town.

"We're leavin' Canterlot?"

>Yeah, fuck this place, ain't good for business if we keep gettin' crushed. Can't even run a good construction stand because the bosses do NOT wanna get in the Fawntaine lady's bad books.

"I wouldn't either, bitch got a giant robot."

'Can't exactly bang that up with a baseball bat and call it a day, nah?'

"Times are a-changin'."

>And we still gotta make some cash, so get goin', we need to-

CRASH!

-FREEZE, DIRTBAGS!-

>"'...'"

~That's not what the Captain said we should say.~

-Oh, right. Halt in the name of Equestrian Harmony!-

>...Aw crap.
>>
>>27843075
>They finally make it down.
At last!
>>
>>27842996
Damn, LUlu.

Even you just call her 'The zebra'?
>>
>>27843280
>thats_the_joke.jpg
>>
>Poindexter
“???”
~~~

>Shining? I need to talk with you. I’ve seen you hanging around with that pink party pony, and I have to say I’m concerned. You know It’s possible to die from too much, uh… ‘partying’ right? It’s happened! It’s totally happened before, cross my hooves I swear it, you can die from that!... You’re not even here, are you? I’m just talking to myself.

WHA-CHA

>GAH! WHAT THE FUUUU-oh, hi Maney.

“AHHHAHAHHA! HELLOOOOOO POIINNDEXTER!”

>Hi…. Did you need something?

“YESSS! I REQUIRE ENTRANCE, THROOOOUGH THE- wait, shoot, need to talk normal for this… I need you to tell them to let me through the portal, they won’t let me all alone for some reason.”

>Probably related to the supervillain thing.

“Prejudice sucks.”

>That is not… you know what? Nevermind, this is fine. So, why we headed to Equestria? Going to hang out with Applejack or Twilight some more?

“AHHHAHAH! NOOOO! I HAVE NO NEED FOR MATTERHORN OR MISTRESS MAREVELOUS! Instead! I seek… THE HOLDER OF COPYRIGHT!”

>…

“Because I need that to be a in a show, apparently.”

>…hooo boy. Yeah. I think we need to handle this together.

“So you’ll come with me?”

>I feel like I’m morally obligated to at this point.

“FANTASTIC! AWAAYYYY!”

WHA-CHA

SWING!

>This is going to end well…
>>
>>27843603
When did we replace Maney with Spider-Mare?
>>
>Dash
“77”
‘Harry’
~Scout~
~~~

>OH CRAP!

A fireball was just barely dodged, the massive flame licking at her tail so closely she was sure she had somehow lost a few centimeters.

>Okay, so, new plan!?

“Don’t die!”

>Good plan! NGH!

Both bobbed and weaved, able to do much more daring maneuvers now that they were bereft of the heavy weight of their third party, and that was all that kept them form being blasted by the endless rain.

‘Gruuugh!’

>Oh shut up, at least you have cover!

The bear would have shaken his claw at the pegasi, if he hadn’t been terrified he was going to lose it trying to do so.

>How could this get any worse!?

~SOUL OF THE FILLY SCOUT, EXPERT KNOT TYING!~

The twin bands circling around the energy laden form cackled with more power, and from the sky lashed out rope after rope, whipping every which way in an endless downpour of them that lashed at the two fliers.

“I’m not even going to blame you for that, I was curious.”

>What else could go wrong!?

~SOUL OF THE FILLY SCOUT, TENT RAISING!~

From the ground erupted dozens of tents in the shape of perfect spears, ones which nearly skewered the already frantic fliers.

“Once is a mistake, twice a fool, Dash!”

>I thought I could cancel it out!

‘GRUUGGGH!’

Down below, dodging the spears, the growl was understood.

>I’m sorry!

“What else could go right now!?”

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, BICYCLING!~

The giant clasped her hooves together, stretching them out afterwards to reveal rows of wheels. Each one then fired, joining in the ropes and spears and forcing the pair into maneuvers that would put most Wonderbolts to shame.

>REALLY!?

“I had an idea!... It was a bad one!”

‘GURRGGHH!’

~SOUL OF THE FILLY SCOUT, SNAKE BITE TREATMENT!~

The bear at least looked embarrassed before the snakes slithered from the ground.

>Ahhh…

~I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT!~

They didn’t need to ask this time. They believed her.

>”SHIIIIII
>>
>>27844120
>Scout badge powers up

That is a strangely interesting idea...
>>
>>27843075
>FREEZE DIRTBAGS

They're fucked.

Roboclop does not fuck around.
>>
>>27844602
He does if he's Roboclop 3, with the jetpack. Or the one from the cartoon. Or the one from the OTHER cartoon.

... Media is fucking weird.
>>
>SA
“Pinkie’
~~~

>This cannot be safe.

“It never is!”

The stallion kept his head low, just beneath spinning bars of metal as they rose up higher into the clouds on Pinkie’s personal flying device.

>Pinkie, the “Pinkie copter” doesn’t have a top. There is literally spinning blades if we stand up.

The party pony pumped away on the bike apparatus beneath her that powered the machine, smiling wide and bouncing up and down without fear.

“That’s what makes it fun! You wan to fly, right? Well, there’s always the risk your head is going to be cut off and traumatize a lot of children! It just comes with the territory!”

>I feel like that isn’t actually a threat most pegasi have to worry about.

“How would you know?”

>Touché. Hurtful, but touché.

“Oh oh oh! We’re here!”

The blades sliced through the thick cloudcover above the Empire as easily as they could slice through a head, and both ponies emerged over to find a seemingly endless expanse of nothing but cloud as far as the eye could see.

>Ah. How silly of me, of course I should have known the spot is clouds.

“You know, most ponies sound sarcastic when they say that.”

>Most ponies don’t just look at this and actually understand this is precisely what you wanted to show me.

“See, that’s why I really like you, Shiny! Now, if you don’t mind, could you do a cloudwalker spell? This thing’s broken.”

The blades abruptly flung off, continuing on after disconnecting and soaring up likely into space.

>GAH! PINKIE!

“Just cloudwalker, it’ll be fiiiiine.”

>I don’t know that spell!

“Oh. Twilight does, so I figured you would too.”

>No!

“Well then…”

They abruptly fell when gravity realized the propeller was gone.

“WE’RE GONNA DIIIIEEEEEEEE-“

BLOOP!

“EEEEeif you don’t use your bubbles, of course. Because you have those.”

>Uh huh.

1/3
.
>>
>>27845144
The Pink Pony immediately started bouncing on the magical shield, pretending the drop had never happened.

“So, here it is!”

>Alright, I get that you want to show me the clouds, but I have to know exactly what you’re showing me specifically?

“Don’t you see it? There. Right there.”

She pointed to a particularly big batch of the fluffy white clouds, a warm smile replacing her silly one.

“That’s it, Shiny.”

Her voice went to a low whisper, and her hoof went limp.

“It’s right there.

>Oh… I see it now.

She kept looking forwards, and not at the smiling stallion beside her.

“Do you really, or are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

He came up behind her, setting a hoof on her shoulder while looking out at the exact same cluster of clouds as her, the exact ones out of the ocean before them.

>I see it.

She believed him.

>That’s where it’s going to be, isn’t it?

“Yeah… right there.”

She could already see it, and somehow she knew that he could too.

“That’s where it’s going to fly, up high where everyone can see how big their dreams can go. It’s going to be the place to get above your worries, just for a little while. Not long, just for a little bit.”

She could already see the rides, the lights, the colors and the tents that would hold all the shows. Not so big it was it’s own island, but just big enough it could hold everyone who needed that break.

“That’s where the party is going to be, Shiny. That’s it… Partyland, for real this time.”

He could see it too, every single piece of it, and it brought him a warm feeling in his chest.

>Pinkie, can I ask you something?

“It’d be pretty mean if I said no after all you did!”

>I just want to know, the reason you keep trying to bring it back, the reason you won’t let it stay gone. Is it…

Her smile grew, and her hoof reached out to cover his.

“Yeah… it’s that.”

2/3
>>
>>27845168
She could still see it, as clear as ever, but after that, it seemed brighter somehow. More fun and full of joy.

“You get why, don’t you?”

>…I do.

There was no sadness in their smiles, no regrets, and it all seemed so much like a dream.

“Shiny?”

>Hm?

“Even if you never get wings… you can come up and party in the clouds with me. It’ll be a fun time, I promise.”

>I don’t doubt it for a minute. Whenever I need it?

“Anytime… I’ll be waiting.”

He moved his hoof around to her other shoulder, and brought her to his side. A hug she happily returned, even if she never looked away from that spot. There, they could both keep looking, and see what was yet to be built. Something special.

>Something that will bring anyone who needs it some happiness.

“Something that will last… as long as they need it to.”

Two ponies looked out into nothing more than a bank of clouds. Blank and empty, with nothing on it but the sunshine from above.

Only they could see what would be, and the memories that would last longer than a lifetime it would leave behind.
>>
>>27845189
AND THEN THEY FUCKED

COS COMEON SHINING HAS TO GET HIS DICK STUCK IN SOME PINK COLOURED MARE PUSSY
>>
>>27845189
... My emotions are suddenly very conflicted.
>>
>>27845168
>>I just want to know, the reason you keep trying to bring it back, the reason you won’t let it stay gone. Is it…
>Her smile grew, and her hoof reached out to cover his.
>“Yeah… it’s that.”
?????????????????????
>>
>>27845274
You know? Me too. It's weird, because that's such an upbeat story. That's about dreams, hopes, two people understanding each other and sharing in both those.

But it's also kinda sad, isn't it? It's both really uplifting and heartwarming, but at the same time I'm like "Damn, that's pretty heavy."

I'm very conflicted right now.
>>
Man, why can't AJ have this kinda thing with Pinkie?

It'd be a serious boon for her character, you know, allowing us to write her differently, use comedy to our advantage?
>>
>>27845287
Do you seriously not get it after the ending, or is this bait?

Anon spelled it out pretty openly.
>>
>>27845335
Because AJ cannot do everything at once.
>>
>>27845353
>Pinkie is trying to Frankenstein Partyland to make Shining happy

Is that it? Cos that's.... well, kinda weird.

Why'd she go through all that effort for him, when the most interaction she had with him prior was her family beating him to death half the time.
>>
>>27845335
This specific thing? AJ's not mortal it wouldn't be the same.
>>
>>27845379
No, she obviously

She wants something amazing to be there and remain to make others happy and keep the party going after she's gone. .
>>
>>27845426
Holy shit Pinkie.
>>
>Bon
“Lyra”
‘Berry’
~~~

>Berry? We’re trying to figure out who’s house to hide in during the attacks, ours keeps getting destroyed.

‘So you came to me? You do know-‘

“Yours gets wrecked, we know. We just figured you had your own place you liked to go to.”

‘Ehhhh… yeah, I actually do.’

>Great! Let’s go.

‘But you can’t tell anyone I do this! Nobody, you hear!?’

“Right right whatever, just show us!”

‘Follow me…’
~~~~~

>You hide out in the library!?

‘You name me ONE other place that has never been destroyed, ever! Sugar Cube Corner? Wrecked. My house? Smashed. Sweet Apple Acres? Holy SHIT does that place have bad luck. But this right here? Worst thing that ever happened to it, a tree hit it. This is, by far, the safest place EVER!’

“She has a point.”

>Fine, conceded. So… what do we do now?

“Read?”

>…

‘…I’ll get the monopony board.’

>There you go.

“I thought you wanted us to survive?”

>No, I just want to be the one to kill you when it finally happens

“…I’m glad we’re friends.”
>>
>>27845379
Same, I don't feel it either. It's a pretty big stretch.
>>
>>27846047
The "She's trying to make Shiny happy" thing or the other, more... Sad thing.

The latter isn't exactly a stretch, and it's interesting character development, if a bit heavy.
>>
>>27846184
Regardless of intent, I choose to believe the second one.

It's just plain more meaningful, and it's bigger for Shiny AND more importantly Pinkie. She's needs this for herself, he just understands and that's why it's so nice they share it.
>>
Wow, my phone is straight up fucking with me now on that one, sorry everyone.
>>
>>27846675
If it makes you feel any better, I totally agree with the sentiment.

Not so much the double post weirdly glued to it, but the whole "this was about Pinkie needing to cheer up her friends when she's gone"? Agree wholeheartedly.
>>
>Staff
“???”
~~~

>Princess! We need to speak with you, now! Either you come out, or we’re making you come out!

The corner of the door creaked open, not enough to see within, only enough to hear a haunting voice.

“Celestia isn’t in at the moment, please come back later!”

>We recognize your voice, princess!

“I’m not Celestia, I promise.”

>You are so!

“Nope, not her at all, she’s out, come back later!”

>The higher pitch is not hiding anything!

“Not a higher pitch, that’s just my voice, because I’m not Celestia. Pay no attention the mare behind the door!”

>We want to vent concerns!

“Well, I can’t help you, because I’m not Celestia.”

>Fine then! If you’re so sure, then come on out! Shouldn’t be a problem for you, right?

“…okay!”

The door creaked open a little more, and what seemed to be a ball was rolled out, into the crowd.

>…

“…”

>…

“Hi!”

>…

“…Can you roll me back? No limbs.”

>GAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

“I know, it’s a terrible life.”

>AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>>
>>27846860
Damn it, Celly! Stop being a scardy cat.
>>
>>27846860
She really should ask Ara to fix her...
>>
>>27847472
>Implying that wouldn't scare the shit out of her.
>>
>>27847753
So... Do it?
>>
Goodnight, thread.
>>
>Pommel
"Buckler"

Thwack! Bonk bonk!

>Y'know Buckler, I think I was wrong about the 'Trotters.

"Yeah?"

>I mean, the fact they can apparently develop personalities needs some investigating, but they're paying real dividends.

"When you say investigate-"

>I mean look into who made them, maybe bring them onboard as a consultant. Try to understand how they managed it, and hell, maybe start making more to supplement other city guards.

"Heck."

>Huh?

"Fractal Byte -that's B-Y-T-E- down there doesn't like it when ponies swear. Her partner's got a jar for ponies who do it around her. Speaking of which..."

Pommel looks to the side at a peach guardsmare expectantly holding up a jar full of bits.

"Pay up. Bit in the jar, boss."

>Uh, can I give you an IOU? Think I left my bits in the office.

The mare makes a 'Got my eye on you' gesture before slinking away.

>Anyway, back to my original point, remind me to send Diamond Tiara a thank you letter.

"Already in the mail, sir."

>Good wor-wait, what do you mean by that?

"Oh your signature is ridiculously easy to forge, boss. Your cursive is just printing the first letter then making some vague squiggles after it."

>How-

"Grandma was a master at busting forgers back in Manehattan, you pick up the tricks eventually."

>...you didn't pull a Chrysalis on me ever, did you?

"Hm-ohh no sir, no blowjobs."

>Good.

"Pizza budgets on the other hoof-but I guess that's kind of a moot point now, huh?"

BZZZZZT!

>...

"...the hel-heck was that?"

-Hey! Don't you throw lightning bolts at my friend! Take this, creep!-

Ksssh!

BZZZZT!

"So we going down the hole?"

>Going down the hole. C'mon!
>>
>>27848464
OBJECTION!

Nobody, not even Celestia, knows Chrysalis had anything to do with the BJB, they and everyone else think it was all AJ on a dare it getting drunk or something.

Other than that, good on you for the continuity.
>>
>>27848511
And this kids is why you shouldn't panic write at 2 AM with a headache.
>>
>>27848251
Night anon.
>>
Morning, thread.
>>
And morning to you!
>>
>>27848464
I thought she pulled out a chainsaw for a minute.
>>
>>27850602
Remember, Roboclop 1/2 does not fuck around.
>>
>Maney
“Poindexter”
‘Guard’
~~~

>MY FOE, THE GUARDIAN! I HAVE RETUUUURNED!

‘The guardian?’

“Just roll with it.”

‘It’s just, I never get a superhero name usually, I’m just ‘the lacky’. This is kinda nice.’

>Of course! Any who would KEEP my from my GOAL is clearly worthy of RECOGNITION!

‘Neato. Finally feel like I’m in the range of the Element of Harmony… sayyy.’

“What?”

‘Can I be a Guardian of Ha-‘

>BEEP!

“…”

‘…Er, why did you beep?’

“Why did I what now?”

‘When I asked if I can be the Guardian of Har-‘

>BEEP!

‘There! You did it again!’

>No idea what you’re talking about.

‘…’

“Just roll with it.”

‘But this is really-‘

“Just roll with it!”

‘…Guardianofharmony-‘

>BEEEEPPP BEEEEP BEEEP BEEPPP

‘Just go through the-‘

>BEEP!

‘-n portal!’
>>
>>27850976
Okay, that's got some creepy implications if you think about it.
>>
>>27851027
Must make "Who would win" arguments a pain.

Even though Supermare could totally kick captain aMareica's ass.
>>
>>27851215
>Capitalizing to make the pun work when Amareica would have been more subtle

Kill yourself.
>>
>18
“42”
~~~

“…I’m afraid to ask.”

>Go ahead, you won’t feel better until you do.

“It’s just… really unsettling to think about asking this.”

>You know you’re going to anyway, just do it.

“I know, but I wish to show reluctance to let everyone know how uncertain I am, otherwise they will think I’m somehow into whatever horrible thing is revealed and I was just being coy. You don’t want that kind of moniker.”

>…

“…Fine… where do we get our water from? And… and is it connected to-“

>It’s the snow.

“…”

>Outside, all that snow. We process it into drinkable and washing water. Snow. Tons and tons and tons of it, a never ending supply thanks to the never ending blizzard. Snow.

“Oh…”

>…

“Oh! That’s much better than it could have been!”

>You thought it was sew-

“NEVERMIND WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS!”

>Are you relieved or disappointed?

“What? Relieved obvious…”

>…

“Ah. Checkmate.”
>>
>>27848626
It was pretty good besides that. Remembering DT was the one who bought them and all.
>>
>>27850854
Is that including Roboclop 2, the seperate robot made from a drug dealers brain?

...this series is fucking nuts.
>>
>Bon
“Lyra”
‘Berry’
~Scout~
~~~

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, BIRDWATCHING!~

>And cue a ton of birds.

“I’m noticing a pattern.”

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, BASKETWEAVING!~

‘Basket full of bombs, of course.’

>Hey, you know what I just noticed?

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, WOODCARVING!~

“The walking trees? Because… that is not wood carving.”

>No, it’s that the fillyscout badges are way more robust than when I was in them!

“Really?”

>Yeah! There’s one for freaking everything now!

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, WILDERNESS SURVIVAL!~

>Like that! I would have loved that when I was a kid!

‘I guess they needed to add more to give a little more variety. Times change, we have movies and stuff now to keep us distracted. Gotta compete.’

>That kind of goes against the spirit of it, doesn’t it?

“Spirit smhirit, gotta get those badges!”

‘…You uh… you think there’s one on-‘

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUT, WINEMAKING!~

‘I’m joining.’

>It’s for fillies! You can’t-

‘I’M JOINING DAMN YOU!’
>>
>>27851914
And cue several dozen arrest warrants.
>>
>Pokey Pierce
“Time Turner”
~~

>Huh… you know, this would be the perfect time for us guys to shine.

“Really?”

>Yeah! Always see the mares take center stage, but you never really get to see us dudes being dudes. Really setting a good example for the colts! Follow your dreams, you can be a badass too even with a Y chromosome! You can be awesome, we can all be awesome, regardless of gender! We really should get up there and show them what we can do!

“Well, what can you do?”

>I mostly pop balloons.

“…”

>You?

“Spin the hourglass.”

>That sounds super useful.

“By the way, something I’ve always wondered… you’re rich, right?”

>Super fucking rich, you don’t even know. I’m not joking, I’m loaded. I’m ‘do lines of concentrated sugar off the plots of six escorts in a row’ rich.

“Right, about that, so then you mostly live in Canterlot. If that’s the case… why were you at Diamond Tiara’s Cutiecenrea?”

>…

“For that matter, why are you down here at all?”

>…

“Do you have a… niece? Nephew?”

>Y-ye… yesss.

“Yes to which?”

>Yes.

“…”

>…

“...Do I need to call the guard? I can do that now, we have one finally.”

>You could, but then what would you do with all these bits? They’re super heavy, walking over the guard with them would be really hard, wouldn’t it? Don’t want to strain yourself. Better play it safe and just relax and watch.

“Has that ever actually worked?”

>Are… are you saying it might not work? Ever?

“…follow your dreams, kids.’

>And be fucking rich!
>>
>>27852223
To be fair, that's more practical advice then the show gives most time.
>>
>>27852223
>Disregard friendship
>Acquire currency and bitches

A hero for us all...
>>
>>27852618
Underage bitches though.
>>
>>27852782
Truly... A hero.
>>
>Granny Smith
“Big Mac”
~~~

>So are ya’ll gonna go fight that thing or what?

“Nnnope.”

>Boy Ah’ thought you’d be the first to go out there!

“Nnnope.”

>Well, why not? Ya’ yellow?

“GRANNY! Ah’m not a solider! Mah’ place is here on the farm, not getting inta’ tussles with the big monster things! Ah’ leave the savin’ of the world ta’ Applejack, she’s the real hero. Just ain’t a life for me... Unless Ah’ got some wings and a horn.”

>…

“Ah’d do it iffin’ Ah’ was a princess… which Ah’ mean alicorn, not the… there just ain’t no alicorn princes, you know? It wouldn’t make sense iffin’ Ah’ say the other thing… this is why Ah’ don’t talk.”

>…We finally gonna talk about the giant dress in the closet that couldn’t fit anyone except you?

“…n-nnope.”

>That beard ain’t hidin’ nothin’.

“Ah’ just like it!”
>>
>>27853061
BEARD MAC!

AT LAST!
>>
>>27853061
awww, I was gonna do a funny reveal once Aj got down there.

Oh well, it was funny, an that's what's important.
>>
>>27853061
>What about the wig?

"Nope."

>The practicing?

"Nope."

>... The shoes?

"Ya wanna talk about shoes with me?"

>...

"Ah mean, nope."
>>
>Scrub
"Fluffer"
~~~~

>...

".."

>.... So do you-

"I FLUFF HER PILLOWS! Okay!? I know what it sounds like, but that's what I do! Pillow fluff!"

>Ohhhh. How could your parents have predicted that?

"They didn't."

>...

"..."

>... Oh...

"My childhood rebellion was different than yours."
>>
>>27853568
Wow.

Just wow.
>>
>Luna
“Zecora”
~~~~

“Ah! Princess, it is so nice to meet you here. Take a seat, won’t you dear?”

The alicorn never even looked at the lavish, ornate surroundings of the dream home. The thing that looked straight out of a Dane Austin novel didn’t interest her, unlike the zebra in the fluffy red robe, with a pipe on her hooves.

>And, enough of that.

“Enough of what-“

ZAP!

“…what did you just do?”

There was a pause, then horror.

“WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

>We have altered thee a little bit. Tis only a dream after all, we can change how thee speaks in it, tis filly’s play!

“YOU MONSTER!”

>We think thou art taking this too hard-“

She never saw the tackle coming.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? I’m not me anymore! You’ve twisted me into some sort of horrible, misshapen creation! I’m a monster, a thing! Look at what you have created, Princess Luna! Look at what you have created and despair! The thing before your eyes is your own creation! LIVE WITH THIS! LIVE WITH THIS SIN!”

>…we think we shall check on the mayor next.

“NOOOO!”

She vanished, literally slipping from her hooves.

“YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR SINS, LUNA! NO MATTER HOW FAR, YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPPPPPPEEEA!... oh, wait, is my rhyming back on again? Sort of odd to tack on if I did not win… huzzzah!”

Happily, she sat back in her chair, everything forgotten

“…Though I wish she could have helped me with this nightmare before she left. I’m still trapped in this place with all joy bereft.”

The couch hugged her, and would not let her go.

~READ!~

“Y-yes mister couch. I’m no slouch.”
>>
>Fluttershy
“???”
~~~~

>Oh… oh dear.

She’d tried to keep it in, she really had. She had done her very best, but somehow it had slipped through. Somehow, with all her supposedly vast and magical powers, sneezing had been too much for her. Sneezing had been the breaking point, sneezing had been too much. Sneezing.

>How am I supposed to do this without…

She idly wondered, would she have to simply start carrying around a buffer from now on? Was a simple visit down to her cottage now just far too much? Was she asking too much, needing too much, just to go and spend a little time with them? It certainly seemed that. The danger was now all too real. After so long holding it in, she had truly begun to believe that maybe, at last, she could hold it in. At last, she could go back to trying to be normal again. That’s all she wanted, more than anything, was to just be normal again.

>Take it back…

She knew nobody would answer her call, nobody could. She didn’t know what hex or magic had made it so, but the power would not leave her.

>Just take it back…

No matter how strongly she whispered, no one would answer the call.

>Just take it all away, please.

No one would answer her…. But someone would hear her.

“Was that…”

Miles and miles and miles away, a pair of ears perked up, and the sudden sensation to go to Poinyville became almost overwhelming. The call had been made.

“…On my way.”

They would follow it.
>>
>>27854515
Captain Planet?
>>
>>27854127
Huh, so you can write her without rhyming...
>>
>>27854515
Oh, we about to nerf Fluttershy? Neat.
>>
>AJ
“Chrysalis”
~~~~

“Do you think they’re going to say yes?”

>Ain’t no tellin’.

Two of their princess number had left the room already, one in far more a hurry than the other, leaving what had previously been a room stuffed full of eight to a mere paltry pair. All that had remained were ironically the ones that had started it all.

“We made some rather convincing final arguments, I would think.”

>Bit of a cruddy first three fourths though.

“If anything, that should prove why it’s a smart idea.”

Only two, one standing, and one reclining back in her chair with her hat tucked over her eyes, and her hooves crossed behind her head.

>Only you could look at that trainwreck and try ta’ convince yer’self it went all according to plan.

“According to plan? I should say not. That said, as should be obvious, I’m rather good at… changing to meet the circumstance.”

>That pun is gadding painful.

“Not as painful as a certain someone breaking into the room made all of this. Speaking of, now that she’s away with Cadence… should we talk about your little friend, Rarity?”

All that remained were the Queen who had tried to infiltrate the kingdom, and the princess who had let her in to stay.

>What about her?

“You know what, don’t play that game.”

The mare shrugged, oddly being the flippant one of the pair this go round, at least externally. Internally, while she was well aware of the reason, she wished that Cadence hadn’t been so quick to leave along with Rarity.

She could only hope the earful Shining was going to get would be worth the one she herself was going to have to endure if this kept up.

>Too late to stop her from puttin’ it forwards, nothin’ to do now.

“But it’s so stupid!”

>Ah’m not arguin’ you, just ain’t no point in complainin’ about it.

“I disagree, obviously.”

Orange shoulders barely twitched the second go round, unable to even give the effort for a proper followup shrug.

1/7
>>
>>27855086

“This isn’t a game, Applejack.”

>That’s good, yer’ not that great at scorin’. Ask Shining.

Her hooves slammed down on the table, rattling it, but not a single hair on the orange colored mare.

“This is serious! She’s coming after me, specifically!”

>Sure, iffin’ ya’ somehow turned out to secretly control the whole world like ya’ claimed. Otherwise, yer’ just makin’ it all about you again.

“Because this is about me, damn it! You heard her, she specifically called me out in front of all of you, this is clearly a move against me!”

She remained as unfazed as before, but a weary sigh escaped Applejack before she could hide it away in time.

>Yer’ takin’ it too personal.

“How am I supposed to take it!?”

>Like ya’ should. As in, she’s not targetin’ you, she’s includin’ you. Same as me, iffin’ you didn’t notice. Maybe she’s got a bit more emphasis on you than others, Ah’ll grant you, but the point is she ain’t doin’ this because she hates you.

“Are you denying she hates me?”

>Nope, just said that ain’t the reason.

Somehow, the Queen took this as a vindication, and confirmation.

“So it is true! The moment I begin talk of forming my own power in the political climate, she traipses along to try and strike me down!”

>That just plain ain’t true. She ain’t heard word one of this whole mess, how would she know yer’ tryin’ ta’ get a bit more of a hoofhold with yer’ subjects and policy?

“She could have heard of it, likely from listening in like she does all the time to Lizardo.”

>She don’t do that intentionally, Spike just forgets ta’ turn it off. Also, gotta point out the irony of a changeling havin’ problems with other spyin’. Ain’t sayin’ you can’t have a problem with it or be against it, but Ah’ wouldn’t forgive mah’self if Ah’ let you get away with that.

“Consider it a pro chiding a rookie."

2/7
>>
>>27855102

>Look, yer’ makin’ a big fuss about somethin’ we can’t do nothin’ about. Proposal is put forwards, they’re gonna vote on it one way or another, she can’t not-propose it anymore. Least not without a time travel spell, but those don’t exist… wait.

“So what am I supposed to do!? Just let her put me under the gaze of some ‘third party’ like this?! Answer to someone she chooses to be my overseer!? Let her control me!?”

>Nope.

“Then what!?”

>Iffin’ she tries ta’ force you, tell her ta’ fuck off with it and ya’ ain’t gonna abide by it.

If the world had stopped at that moment, time frozen forever more, the Queen would have been indistinguishable for no less than a solid, complete minute. Sixty seconds of a dead eyed stare and a slack jaw, without so much as a twitch.

“Huh?”

>Ya’ heard me, tell her off iffin’ she tries ta’ force ya’ to follow her rules. Ya’ ain’t an Equestrian citizen, ya’ don’t live here and you don’t owe us nothin’. Just tell her ta’ stop, it’s all ya’ gotta do. She will, she don’t want a fight anymore than you do. Just tell her no, and when she asks why just talk ta’ her, it ain’t gotta be a challenge or nothin’ here.

Another solid sixty seconds, exactly. This one spent in motion, with flapping jaws and incredulous looks.

“She clearly won’t listen to me.”

>Maybe, maybe not. Not gonna lie, she can be as stubborn as me sometimes, iffin’ not even more if you can believe it. Ah’ve got pictures from a sleepover to prove it.

“So then, why bother?”

>Ah’ don’t know… why’d you bother tryin’ to make friends with me?

She didn’t answer that. Not because she couldn’t, only because she knew they both knew it far too well to need put to words.

3/7
>>
>>27855113

>Ah’m not gonna force you, but it can get better. Ain’t so great right away… but it gets better. If ya’ want to actually be a Queen, actually have some real power in the world and rule a whole hive and all that, yer’ gonna need all the allies you can get. So fine, tell her off if this dumb thing goes through, whatever. Say ya’ ain’t gonna let nobody or no one choose for you or look over yer’ shoulders, just don’t take it personal. Don’t make it all about you, and try to, Ah’ don’t know… maybe just talk ta’ her?

The Queen’s fire faded, her eyes growing more dim with every word, though no less sharp come the end.

>Ah’m not sayin’ she ain’t puttin’ more on you than she should, but she don’t know you, really. She ain’t never seen the side of you the others have. Most she ever saw was a bitter, angry concession. So why don’t you just try talkin’ to mah’ friend?

“I do not like it when others try to control me.”

>Welcome ta’ the club, population, the whole dang world. It’s pretty exclusive.

She had no comeback, save the internal feeling of needing to punch her for that terrible joke.

“…So then, you don’t feel I need to be overlooked?”

>Ah’ didn’t say that. Ah’ just think ya’ don’t need anymore than ya’ got now, they do a pretty good job of it.

Nothing needed to be said about who ‘they’ were. The way the sharp gaze dulled did all that and more.

“Oh? You really think they could hold me back, if I were to cut loose as I have before?”

>Probably not. Iffin’ ya’ wanted, you could probably take them off guard and take ‘em both out before they knew what hit them. One two shots, and yer’ now in charge with a couple fakes on the throne.

Even with as much carnage and a lifetime of other Queens behind her, somehow that had managed to churn Chrysalis’s stomach.

>But then there’s that. Think that bout says it all.

4/7
>>
>>27855122

Finally, the pony gave up the act, and pushed the rim of her hat up enough she could finally actually see the changelings face.

>Fer’ the record, iffin’ you showed mah’ friend that, Ah’ think she’d picture you a whole lot different than now. And she is my friend, true and through to the end. One of the best mares Ah’ve ever known, and she’s worth every bit the headache she gives sometimes. She ain’t perfect, not even close, but she’s someone who wants ta’ see the beauty in everythin’, Chrysalis. She just has a hard time seein’ it when ya’ hide it away.

In a move completely lacking all self awareness, the Queen actually turned her face and scoffed. The pony couldn’t help but smile at the move.

>This here proposal? Ah’ think it’s the dumbest thing Ah’ve ever heard, so many holes Ah’ could plant a dang orchard in it… but she believes in it, she wants it to work, and there’s somethin’ in there in the muck, Ah’ suppose. Ain’t sayin’ you gotta love her, but just remember that whole lotta other ponies do. Includin’ a couple you’d take a hammer to the face to protect, maybe at least try not to think she’s out to get you, it’d be a start. Ah’ mean, at the very least… ain’t gonna be as bad as takin’ a sparkly, bejeweled hammer to the face before she can see ya’ ain’t all bad.

The Queen frowned, trying to keep the knowing, partially amused smirk from forming on her cheek.

Strangely, in response, the pony sat up a little straighter, and she frowned, suddenly much more stern, completely serious.

>Don’t think Ah’ll forget about that, or… what Ah’ would’ve done, if you hadn’t been there to stop me, and show me how dumb Ah’ was bein’. Would’a done a whole lotta regretful stuff before Ah’ got stopped, if ever. If you think it’ll help… Ah’ll let her see that side of you too.

5/7
>>
>>27855147

The topic of revealing what had occurred in the lair of the Element of Harmony had never been discussed, not really. It had just become an unspoken agreement between them, assume it was never to be spoke of again, and hide it away for all of time.

To hear this unsaid pact so willingly offered to be broken, and by the one who would be throwing herself under the proverbial cart to do so, made the Queen feel strangely unsettled.

“…No, I’d rather my humiliating battering remain hidden, thank you. Last thing I need is for her to blab to the whole world I’m actually capable of being hit. Not killed, of course, but the fools attempting to make their own mark would never end!”

A smile broke through the serious face, and she relaxed back again at the obviousness of the flippant rebuttal.

>If you say so. Up to you, sugarcube.

“Of course it is, just as all changeling matters will be. Enough of this, with my assured newfound trading and alliances no doubt to be confirmed in hours, I do suppose I must bear the uncomfortable saddle of the more boring side of rulership. I must go and inform my subjects that we will begin trading soon.”

>Ya’ seem pretty sure they’re gonna say yes.

“Oh, Applejack, come now… who wouldn’t want me on their side?”

The green fire she so loved to abuse surrounded her, and with a fanged smirk she let it carry her away, apparently too good to simply walk out the door.

The time when the new princess would have found it impressive, or more likely annoying, had long since passed. Now, all it brought was faint amusement, and a flippant blowing of her lips.

6/7
>>
>>27855161

Just before the last flick of fire consumed her, she heard a mumble so low it could easily have been mistaken for a cackle of the flame.

“Thanks.”

When it finished, she had left behind nothing but a single wisp of smoke on the ground, and a smile on Applejack’s face.

At last, alone, the mare slumped back, and tried to let the whole day finally sink in.
At least it was over.

>… If this is how the political stuff goes, Ah’m gonna see iffin’ Ah’ can get a refund on these here wings.

Or rather, had just begun.
>>
>>27855174
>AJ going to bat for Rarity

Fucking, FINALLY BITCH
>>
>>27855311
She really hasn't deserved it in months. And really probably wouldn't have now if 'Chrysalis must lose, to gain friends' wasn't in effect.
>>
>>27855347
Deserved or no, it's just much nicer when AJ actually is like "Hey, that's my friend there, so try not to think she's a bitch."

On that note, Aj outright said Chrysalis doesn't have to lose, she said she could tell Rarity to go fuck herself if she tried to enforce that on her, just to talk about it.
>>
>>27855147
>Finally, the pony gave up the act, and pushed the rim of her hat up enough she could finally actually see the changelings face.

...did anyone else find it badass when they realized AJ did all that analyzing WITHOUT LOOKING AT HER
>>
>>27855378
>Doesn't have to does not equal won't
This is going to end with Rarara taking herself off the 'hate bug bitch' list. But I'm pretty sure you've at least seen the "You can trust me" "If you got nothing to hide you'll go along with it" argument. Their talk is going to have Rarity getting her way, as Chrysalis turns it from Rarity trying get one up on her into an act of good faith.
>>
>>27855437
Fair point that it could go that route, but I'm just saying that the setup has it to where even AJ says she ain't gotta do shit, so it's just as likely it won't end with Chrysalis giving up anything.

Who knows, Rarity is a romance lover, maybe she'll give up just because she sees the fancy of it all.
>>
>>27855524
Rarity does like her some polygons.
>>
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>>27855555
Wew
>>
>>27855555
THREADGHOOOSSSTTSS!

That's actually funny for the polygon thing.
>>
>>27855524
I think she'd actually be the most likely to go "My goodness! You actually do care about them enough that you'd give up world domination? THE SCANDAL OF IT ALL!... Please continue."
>>
>>27855430
She knows more from what she saw on the battlefield than any scanning could give her.
>>
>>27853061
>Big Mac doesn't want to admit he wants to be a princess

You literally gained Celestia's jewelry in YOUR dream.

Ain't sayin' you gay, but nigga you wanna wear the dress.
>>
>>27855347
She didn't have to lose to gain Pinkie.
>>
>>27856513
Pinkie is the town friendship bicycle. Everybody gets a ride when they want it.
>>
>Pommel
"Buckler"
'Mobster'

>Duck and cover!

Bzzt!

"Ok! For real! Who thought a lightning bolt infusion was a good idea!?"

'Me!'

"You don't count!"

>Buckler, how are the Peacetrotters?

"Uhhh, think asshole here's magic drink forced a shutdown."

>Ok, ok good, so they're-

"I've also never actually looked into how they worked."

>So you just said some vaguely sciency stuff!?

"Yes, worked didn't it?"

'Hey! Remember me!?'

>Can I assume you're the Chef that Tubbs Canoli was talking about?

'That fat fuck turned rat!?'

"Well I mean he didn't have much choice. By the way? Swear."

'What?'

"SWEAR!"

Thwooooo-BONK!

'OW! WHAT THE!? WHO THROWS A JAR OF BITS!?'

"She does."

>I just throw punches!

Thwack!

Thump!

>...phew...Buckler, secure the two guys the Trotters froze. Private, check on the Trotters and see if you can find what's wrong.

The Mare looked at Pommel expectantly.

>Oh fine.

Using his magic, Pommel lifted a single bit from a nearby pile and clinked it into the jar. With a visible bounce, the satisfied mare trotted over to inspect the robots.

>Soooo...think that went well.

"Seven out of ten. Knocked a point off for that one-liner."

>Aw come on that was gold.
>>
>>27855555
Ooooh my~
>>
>>27857192
> giving up your rat
You dumbass!
>>
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.

"I'm with her."

>Did you and Spike look into the Filly Scouts responsible for painting mah tree pink?

"We went to the troop leader to get a list of kids that operate in the area, but we ran into a snag.

>What kind of a snag?

"They thought Spikey Wikey was cute...really cute. They swarmed and made a such a big fuss over him. He would have been kidnapped if I hadn't stepped in. I found him tied up in ropes like he was in bondage film."

>"Oh, sounds like somepony was going for the advance knot badge, but what happened afterward?"

"After explaining this was an official investigation, they finally let poor Spike go. It got weird though. As we were talking, they kept complimenting my appearance. I was flattered, but they were avoiding my questions. At some point, they offered Spike and I tea...then it got fuzzy."

>...No...did they drug both of you?

"Yes...yes they did. When we woke up, the building was empty. It's like they were never there. We looked around, but all we were able to find were...bodysuits of the troop leader and the Filly Scouts."

>...what the...Are you telling me that all of them were disguised?

"I don't even know if they were even Filly Scouts. That's about as far as we got in our investigation."

>Huh...weird.

"What do we do now?"

>Ah' guess we just wait until they try to sell cookies to us again.

"I guess?"

>Until then, Ah' thanks for joining me on...the Fireside.

"You don't suppose they're ninjas are they?"

>Rarity, that's the most silliest-
>>
>>27857795
And they're dead.

They're so dead, they're dead in canon. Pack it in everykne, they're dead.
>>
>>27857795
So all this time they were just threer animals stacked on top of each other....r a part of me knew that..
>>
>>27855174
Ok this was good

Ok

Good
>>
>SA
"Pinkie"
~???~
~~~

>...Uh oh.

"Uh oh?"

>Uh oh. You better step back a bit.

"How far we talking?"

>Pretty far.

"That bad?"

>Something like that.

"Is the castle gonna be okay? We're right in front of your office, we don't want to break anything."

>It's too late for that. Far. Far too late.

"...Shiny?"

>Hm?

"If you die, want you to know, this was some of the best fun I've ever had."

>...me too.

"Can we do it again sometime?"

>If I survive.

"So... yes?"

>Definitely.

With that final note said, the stallion raised up, and spread his forelegs.

~.............eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~

In the single flicker of a moment, he was gone. Taken away by a pink blur, who left nothing but a sonic boom in her wake.

"Faustspeed, you beautiful stallion."

~~~~~

~IDIDATHINGIDIDATHINGIDIDITIDIDITIREALLYDIDIT~

About a mile into the snow, his wife chattered away, and like a dutiful husband he listened to every excited word he could make out of her babbling. Hugged as he was by the mare of his dreams, he was happy.

He would be happier without the broken rib, but nobody gets everything.
>>
>>27858774
SHOT TO THE HEART, AND YOU"RE TOO LATE
>>
>>27858774
I seriously thought she was going to fuck his brains out.
>>
I seriously forgot how epic the Hearth's Warming Miniarc was.
>>
>>27859107
...What an oddly random thing to bring up. Why? Go binge-archiving or something?

Or, wait...

OH SHIT PASTEBIN UPDATED! I didn't even notice!
>>
>>27858973
This. I was extremely disappointed.
>>
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>>27859134
Oh thank god, and after checking it out, that's the one that had all that complaining about Chrysalis I can now skip past-

WAIT A MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN HONEY LAYERED PIECE OF SHIT SECOND!... HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS!?

INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!
>>
>>27859107
>>27859134
FUCKING FINALLY IT UPDATES!

Now keep going!
>>
>Luna
"MM"
~~~

>...Well, this is interesting.

"GAH! HEY! YOU SAID NO COMING INTO MY DREAMS UNLESS I SAID OKAY!"

>We lied! Now, what is the purpose of this, it interests us.

"It's... uh... for the children!"

>The children? Oh! Yes! We heard that this thing is of great entertainment to them! Do one of the tricks!

"Oh, um... okay... honk honk!"

>...that's it?! Thine stance is mundane, thine costume lacks expression, the color choice is more garish than fanciful, and worst of all thine enthusiasm is of a level that even we find muted! Thou art a terrible clown! HRMPH! We are going to the one more suitable for being a jester, even if she does not know it, AWAY!

With a shimmering light, she left.

"Phew... now, where was I? Who do I want to be my ringleader tonight... well, why not all of them? It's my dream, I'm going nuts! Bring on the clowns!"

POP!

>Wow, we made a huge mistake going over there. You would not believe what thine friend Trixie sees in her dreams-WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT CREATION!?

"ACK! TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!"

>WHY WERE THEY ALL CLOWNS TOO!?

"FUCK YOU THIS IS MY DREAM!"

>WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS BUT WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY OF THEM!

"FUCK YOOUUUUU!"
>>
>>27859134
>PB Updated

Glorious day...
>>
>>27859107
Gonna stop lurking/oneposting just to say, I'm thrilled I can relieve that kickass mini where AJ got to be awesome with the whole apple family, and thank you.
>>
>>27859227
I completely forgot about that.
>>
>Dash
"77"
'Harry'
~Scout~
(???)
~~~~

>CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAPPPPP!

~SOUL OF THE FILLYSCOUNT, KNIFE SAFETY!~

With a wave of her hoof, a thousand blades, each the size of a pony, appeared from nowhere, all flying with blood in mind as they hunted down those in the air.

>You don't look so impressive now!

The changeling tried his best not to be offended, and also not to feel that his own blade felt slightly smaller now than it had before.

"It's not the size of the blade..."

He swung wildly, his own unbreakable knife clashing with dozens of them in the air.

"It's how you use it!"

>...Uh-

"Yes, I feel it, you don't need to point it out."

She decided to be nice and do as he said, leaving the several long streaks bleeding on his sides and face unsaid.

>Does that hurt?

"Immensely."

>Ah... how you holding up, Harry-OH SHIT!

The bear, not wanting to be shown up, had tried his own claw at fighting against the blades with his axe. Sadly, he found even less success, demonstrated by the knife stuck into his shoulder.

'...hugh.'

>Are you, uh... okay?

The bear gave her a single deadpanned look.

>Right, probably not okay... okay, listen, here's what we need to do.

"I'm glad someone finally has a good idea!"

>We need to just run.

"...I'm annoyed nobody has a good idea!"

>I'm serious! We just have to lure her away from the city, and then we can figure out how to fix this! Get her to Everfree and I could totally fly clear to Canterlot, get one of the heavy hitters, fly back and wham!

"Huh. I remember when you were a heavy hitter."

>Are you trying to make me want to cry? It's working, I just want to know if that's what you're doing.

"But there's a flaw in the plan, besides that."

>And what would that be? Lack of bait? Because there's one right there.

'GRUGH!?'

>You know you taste good!

"You trying to get rid of my second in command aside-"

>Wait, second in command? Command of what!?

"Ponyville's guard."

1/3
>>
>>27859730

>...

"We have that now. I'm captain of it."

>...

"...it confuses me too."

>Fine! Whatever! What was the problem you had!?

"She's walking towards the city right now, and totally ignoring us."

True to his words, the massive Fillyscout was already heading out, the others behind her completely forgotten.

>SHIIIT! Why didn't you say something!?

"I thought you noticed the lack of projectiles and this was part of your 'plan'. We've been talking for a bit here."

>I thought she paused while we talked!

"... why would they ever do that?"

>Chrysalis, Discord and Nightmare Moon all did!

"That sounds dumb."

>My entire life is dumb!

'GURGGHH!'

>RIGHT CRAP!

With a burst of speed, she rocketed away from the others, ramming headfirst into the side of the filly wandering away.

>Stop already!

She bounced off, again and again, no lasting impact save the trail of rainbow behind her that took longer than normal to fade.

>Stopppp! Stop stop stop! Pay attention to me already! NOTICE ME!

The filly never even slowed, never even flinched when Dash rammed her right between the eyes.

>I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm an Element of Harmony! I'm the fastest flier in Equestria! I'm gonna be the greatest Wonderbolt ever, NOTICE ME!

One last, hard blow to her face met with as much success as anything else, and she was left floating off to the side, useless.

The Scout had never even looked her way.

>Notice me... please?

She was going to reach the city, and there was nothing she could do. Her wings flapped a little slower, her forelegs drooped, and her brain had never felt more empty.

The fillyscout reached the edge of Ponyville, and there was nothing left she could do.

>This is the worst day of my life, nothing will ever top this.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

She would never stop cursing herself. Even when they put her into the ground, her grave would forever ring out with her screams of calling herself a dumbass.

2/3
>>
>>27859743

She expected what would come next would be another chaos creature, maybe something bigger, stronger, badder and more powerful. She had no ideas how to save the day, but she was full of those that could destroy it, and she expected all of them.

What she didn't expect was, coincidentally, the one thing that actually appeared before the giant fillyscout. The one thing that actually made her stop.

>Fluttershy?

The mare's back was facing her, hiding nearly her entire body behind the long flowing pink hair. The scout stared her down, eyes locked on the unmoving, flapping yellow alicorn hovering in front of her. A single, solitary yellow hoof suddenly swung up, accompanied by a strange snapping sound, and from the ground came a gargantuan spring that rocketed underneath the giant's chin, and sent her tumbling hooves over head backwards. Back far enough that, at last, she was out of the reach of the city.

That same raised hoof swung back down, that snapping sound repeating, and it rained ribbons. Thousands of thousands of ribbons, each one wrapping around the massive body and tangling it as she tried her best to fight back.

>HOLY SHIT! You uh... got this one, I take it, or can I help?

Only now did the pony turn around to acknowledge her, allowing the rainbow mare to see her friend in whole.

>W... what the fuck are you wearing?

Fluttershy smiled in a way Dash could never recall seeing on her face before, and she didn't like it one bit. She rubbed a hoof along the black leather on her body, one covering everything save her limbs, and shook her head.

(Sorry, Dash... you're not worth being in my harem.)

>...Come again?

The alicorn turned away, back to the fillyscout, and clasped her hooves together.

(Such a naughty filly...)

When they stretched out again, chaos was dancing between her hooves.

(You'll have to be punished.)
>>
>>27859750
...Is that dominatrix Fluttershy!?

Holy sweet merciful fuck I forgot she existed.
>>
>>27859855
So did I, but I have to say that helped take me off guard.

She's back bitches, and she's gonna make you part of her harem!
>>
>>27859750
>(Such a naughty filly...)
>(You'll have to be punished.)

DOM-FLUTTERS NO THAT'S AN ACTUAL FILLY AS IN THAT'S LITERALLY AN ACTUAL FUCKING CHILD NOPE NOPE NOPE CHRIS COME HERE WE NEED SOME HELP SHE NEEDS TO TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE NOPE NOPE NOPE
>>
>>27859890
I'm hoping she has some standards, but this IS villainous Fluttershy...
>>
>>27857771
And cue Tubbs getting all of the shivs in prison.

All of them.
>>
>>27859855
Ew

Dominatrixshy is worst sexual meme and for low energu unter-plebs
>>
>Celestia
"Staff"
~~

"PRINCESS! COME OUT ALREADY! WE NEED TO TALK!"

A deep and empty sigh escaped the tallest princess, and the last strike of the clock meant her time was up. She could wait no longer.

Resigned, she opened the door, and put on the most diplomatic smile she had ever wore in her life.

>My loving subjects, how nice to see you all again! I'm so sorry my little friend answered the door for me, she's quite quick to do things like that. You probably saw her run about like she does.

"She doesn't have limbs."

>But enough about that! How are all of you? Are you well?... yes? Fantastic! Well, glad we could have this talk-

"WE WANT ANSWERS, PRINCESS!"

She nearly bit her tongue off.

>...ALRIGHT! I'm the one who voted against giving you all dental, but it wasn't intentional! I thought that it was covered in the free healthcare! I'm sorry! This wasn't what it looked like!

"Wait, what?"

"NO! We don't- well okay we kind of care about that, but mostly we care about the respect!"

>I confess! I admit it! I'm the one who invited others specifically to cause massive chaos at my gala and then made you all clean up the mess it left behind, I wasn't even thinking about the afterwards, I was just thinking about having fun!

"NOT THAT-well okay yeah that, that was pretty dickish, but we mean the big thing! Our names!"

>FINE! You want to hear the truth!? Fine! I'll come clean, but don't blame me if you can't handle it! I'll lay it all out, I'm the reason your names specify your positions! It wasn't supposed to happen, I did it just one time! One mother-I-love-you time! That's all! I just picked a guy named Davenport to work on my couch and made a running gag out of it, and everyone just assumed naming their kids ridiculous names meant I would pick them to work for me! I just did it to laugh a bit and it got so bad! I'm sorry! I'M SORRRRYYYY!

"...We meant the nicknames."

1/2
>>
>>27860505

>Oh.. oh!... What about them?

"Don't act like that, you don't remember any of our names!"

>What? I do so. I sign them every week on your paycheck.

"THAT-wait, you sign them specifically?"

>Well we haven't exactly reached an automated system with it, yet. Twilight is working on something though...

"So... you don't call us nicknames because you don't remember who we actually are?"

>Heavens no! That couldn't be further from the truth! I just do it to pony's who I like, that's all!

"Huh... that's not so bad."

>And to also not call you by the wrong names because I sometimes get you mixed up with the pony who's worked there for over fifty years who recently retired, or more likely passed away. I called someone by the wrong name one time of a pony who hadn't even worked for me for twenty years, never felt worse. So I just play it safe.

"..."

>...too far?

"The first thing was nicer, yes."

>Well, your call. So! Everything cleared up? All forgiven?

"I guess... but what about all the other stuff you just confessed to-"

>Oh my, look at the time! I'm so late! Well, since this matter was so important to all of you, it must have been so stressful. Why don't you knock off the rest of the day while I go deal with the habernebmebmng. Ta taa, and I love you all!

SLAM!

"...Huh."

"That did not go like I thought it would."

"That was really weird, yeah."

"At least it's all cleared up?"

"That was nice, yeah! It feels more special now."

"Hurray for the princess!"

"And this is not an abusive relationship!"

"Hurray!"

"So... what now?"

~Does this mean I can leave?~

"AHHHHHH!"

"HOLY FAUSTFUCKINGSHIT!"

"CHANGELING! CHANGELINNNNG!"

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?"

"HOW DID YOU SLIP IN OUR MIDST!?"

~...are... are you serious-~

As one, they lifted him up, hurled him down the hallway, and stampeded in the other direction, screaming all the way.

~...well fuck you guys too.~
>>
>>27860503
>sexual meme

You do remember she's actually a separate character, right? It's not literally Fluttershy as a dominatrix, it's a clone who had that personality who was never defeated or caught.
>>
>>27860513
>>And to also not call you by the wrong names because I sometimes get you mixed up with the pony who's worked there for over fifty years who recently retired, or more likely passed away. I called someone by the wrong name one time of a pony who hadn't even worked for me for twenty years, never felt worse. So I just play it safe.

Holy shit what
>>
>>27860167
Y'know...I don't think Pommel cares...which is kinda fucked up.

I mean the guy did try to straight up murder his friend, but...damn.
>>
>>27860604
I think he more just slipped up and said it by accident and tried to cover it up, I really doubt he was being deliberate.
>>
>AJ
"???"
~~

>Finally, everythin's back to normal-

STAMPEDE!

"AHHHHH! CHANGLIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!"

STAMPEDE!

>...Don't even buckin' wanna know.
>>
>>27860588
Celly has lead a... Long life, anon.
>>
>>27861094

Meeemmmorrriiiieeessss..
>>
>42
"Changelings"
~???~
~~~

FWOOSH!

>Alright, who here has done something productive today?

"...does facepunch count?"

>Facepunch ALWAYS counts.

"Thennnn... not me."

"Nope."

"Nu-uh."

"Not in the least."

"I was gonna but then I got tired and a nap turned into sleep."

"Same, but there were salted chips somewhere in there."

"Fuck you, writing my fiction is hard."

"I saw a bird, is that productive?"

>NO!

"Then nope."

>I cannot believe you all! All the opportunity in the world, all of the possibility to go out there and be someone, and you're all just sitting in this frankly abhorrently dirty stadium while doing nothing at all!

"We're still staying in shape in case a war breaks out."

>Not good enough! That's nothing in the grand scheme of things! If I don't hear someone who did something productive in the next two seconds, I'm going to go into a punching frenzy that will leave nothing behind but shattered dreams and tibiae!

"OH SHIT! Someone make something up!"

"She'll know! She always knows!"

"AHHHH!"

>ONE! TW-

SLAM!

~I'VE FINALLY DONE IT!~

>...

"..."

"..."

"...who the fuck are you?"

~W-what? Guys, don't you recognize me? I'm a changeling like any of you!~

"No, we mean who are you, we all look the same."

~Oh, right... tis I!... I forgot my number.~

>Are you fucking kidding me?

~I'm sorry, I've been doing too much stuff with my brain I can't think good no more!~

>This is both encouraging and seriously worrying.

~It's been months now, but I'm finally done making THESE!~

"...Green balls?"

>I should have just assumed this was going to be disappointing.

1/2
>>
>>27861527

~N-no! They're not just balls, don't you remember what her majesty ordered me to do months ago? It was just after Hearth's Warming! She only showed me for some really upsetting reason I've tried forget so not to remember I'm expendable!~

>I have no recollection of this event, though admittedly there were other distracting things there... kissy things.

~Don't you remember!? She told me to make these so we can sell them!~

>Wait... wait! WAIT! Those orbs that let you visualize a single memory? The one she gave to Applejack!?

~That one! I've made dozens! DOZENS! Tested and confirmed safe!~

>It took you months to make dozens?

~IT'S SO HARD!~

>Well... huh.

~W-will her majesty be happy for me? We can sell them for so much...~

>...

~...she doesn't even remember it, does she?~

>I cannot speak on behalf of the memory capacities of Her Majesty, and instead say you should forward all questions to her.

~...~

>But if it makes you feel any better... you get a well deserved head-pat from me.

Pat pat.

>You are a good ling, and should feel proud.

~...eeee...~

>...the rest of you get punches.

"WAIT WHAT-"

POW

>POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!

~...Me go sleepy time now.~

"OH GOD MY FEMUR!"

>Whoops, little off. Let me fix that.

CRACK!

"AHHHHHHH!"
>>
>>27861536
>Changelings selling Love-Batteries
>Memory orbs
>Presumably other shit

They really are going to be their own country, aren't they?
>>
>>27861709
Seeing as Griffons somehow subsist on selling nothing but SCONES it's possible.
>>
>Sunset
"Chitania"
~~~

"Was that sufficient, or is there yet more weaklings you need to send me after?"

The booming, growling voice would have cowed the hearts of some of Equestria's greatest warriors. To most, simply hearing her speak with such venom and spite, power rolling between every syllable, would be enough to make them at best snap on guard in a futile attempt at fight or flight.

To the prodigy who had survived death itself, it was merely amusing.

>Actually? I think we've pretty much wiped out the heads of the syndicates and gangs in at least three different cities, we're high up enough we could send actual peons to take on anyone who could possibly want to move against us without losing a single body. Congratulations, you've proven you're far superior to the criminal element.

The changeling snarled at the sarcasm, managing to do no better in moving the much smaller pony than she had before.

"So then, all is well?"

>Well? Chitty, it's better than well...

Instead, it was the Titan who found herself moved when the pony slammed a briefcase onto the table, and with a pair of resounding clacks flung it open. She took her time turning it around, clearly savoring every moment, before she finally allowed the Queen to see the contents within.

A thin, flat, silver square in the center of a padded grip, with two vials of red and blue above it.

"Is it-"

>Everything you wanted.

The changeling smile grew wicked, her hoof already unconsciously rising up to reach out to the thing. She was denied, much to her annoyance, when the lid snapped back down.

>Ah ah! Not so-

Finally, she'd had enough.

>HEY!

The crux of her hoof curled around the back of the pony's neck, hoisting her up to furious eye level in an unbreakable grip.

"Do not dangle the end result of untold hours of searching before me and then play games, Pony. I am in no mood!"

1/3
>>
>>27862074

There was no shock, no fear, only irritation as her legs dangled high above the ground, her own hooves pulling uselessly against the chitin keeping her steady.

>Will you quit acting like a child! There's more important matters to discuss!

The snarl did not subside, but the grip did not tighten. It did not loosen, but at least it did not harm her any worse.

"So then explain to me why you have supposedly done as we have both wanted, yet I am still unable to see it for myself?"

>Because you can't handle it by yourself!

She had never been more insulted.

>Look, I've done it, I've broken the 'compatibility' issue, but the fact of the matter is you're just not strong enough to handle them currently as you are!

Scratch that, she thought, that was a new record in insult. She had to put the pony back down, lest she slip and break her neck out of the rage she fought so hard to keep in check.

She supposed she should be fortunate Sunset seemed to take this as a concession.

>Thank you. Now, it's true, you're not going to be able to handle this outright, not out of durability, but simply because you're missing a vital component.

"Then, what exactly do you suggest?"

The spat didn't seem to make it through to the mare with two colored mane. Instead, it managed something else, something unexpected.

It managed to make her smile.

>Isn't it obvious? You need more... power.

Something about the way the unicorn looked her over, the way her eyes trailed all up and down, unsettled even the unshakeable stature of the Titan.

"I have power, in spades."

>Not this kind of power. You don't need muscles, you don't need durability, and you don't need stamina. You need... power.

It took far longer than she wanted to admit, but eventually, she put the pieces together.

"How much?"

>A lot. More than even our little Empire could provide you.

"So then, where do you expect I get it?"

>I did say that our Empire wouldn't suffice... I didn't say no Empire would.

2/3
>>
>>27862087

This one, fortunately, did not take that long to connect.

>Chitania... are you ready for one last raid? What they have in there will work, it will give you all the power you need, but it's not going to be a cakewalk. You're not going to be up against nobodies this time, you're going to be facing some very heavy hitters this go round... are you up to it?

She never even questioned the frown, nor odd tone so near sincerity in the pony's voice. Instead, the changeling smiled.

"Finally... a real challenge."

Soon, the pony joined her expression as well.

"I take it you have a plan?"

>Come on... I've obviously thought about how to get to it.

"Obviously. While I'm doing this..."

A delicate yellow hoof tapped on the suitcase, barely rattling the contents within.

>I'm going to be making much, much more of this. When you come back, we'll be ready.

It was almost over.

Soon, it would all be over.

It would all be worth it.

>Spend tonight preparing, Chitania. In the morning... you pay a visit to some old friends.

Chitania the Titan couldn't recall the last time she had felt this alive.

"It will be nice... to see the Hive one last time."
>>
>>27862097
WELL SHIT
>>
>>27862185
I'm actually just happy shit's gonna happen again.
>>
>>27861801
>Implying that's all they work with

Come on.
>>
>>27862516
Keep your stories of ponies traveling to Griffonstone like americans do to Taiwan where they belong.

Written down for all of us to see.
>>
>>27862097
So next up, Chitty Vs the Empire folks.

Fair's fair, Canterlot has been stomped enough.
Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 19

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