>he's a php "dev"
>He posts a reddit-tier metaphor "story" instead of just telling us what's wrong with the language concisely
What the fuck is the point? This assumes we know PHP well enough to be able to understand the metaphors.
>>54263496
>This assumes we know PHP well enough to be able to understand the metaphors.
this. all I know about PHP is that's cancer
>>54263496
It also assumes you're on a technology board and have half a brain.
You seem to be lost. Go shit post on /b/.
>>54263513
Go circlejerk on reddit about how much you think PHP sucks
>>54263513
>>54263496 is right, the story conveys nothing useful. It just tells me that the guy who wrote this is butthurt and that he thinks PHP sucks.
>>54263513
>if you aren't into Webdev or ever used PHP extensively ur dumb
No, what a shitpost is the OP.
You know I can literally adjust the image and write "This is C++/Haskell/Java/Any language", right?
It's fucking worthless. It's not a good critique.
OK PHP is shit. TELL US WHY IT IS, WITH A LIST OF REASONS.
Not making a story that ambiguously suggests a Broken hammer is a PHP function and a broken cutting board is some Semi-popular framework we don't fucking know
Dumbass
>>54263513
This isn't the technology board, this is the consumer recommendations and tech support board.
>>54263450
why do shit like wordpress and drupal use php?
why aren't there popular equivalents in other languages?
I am genuinely curious; no drama please.
What does PHP do wrong? Bear in mind I don't know the first thing about the language.
>>54267578
PHP hate is a meme.
The amount of hate a programming language gets is proportional to the amount that programming language gets used.
PHP gets used a lot, that's why it gets a lot of hate.
Every language has serious problems. Singling out PHP is the definition of hipsterism.
>>54264855
Because hosting providers have been providing PHP use since like 2000
>>54263496
I'm curious as to what qualifies for reddit-tier metaphors. What exactly about it is reddit tier?
>>54269643
The totally abstract story to "illustrate" a point which in reality explains nothing
>>54263450
OK. So what do we use instead?
Is there a mature, well supported, easily deployed (not that PHP is any of those) alternative platform available?
>>54267578
It's standard library is terribly organized and its functions erratically named, versions before 4.0 did not support any form of OOP, and versions before 5.0 did not support simple things like extending static classes correctly. There wasn't even a library included for reading/writing JSON until 5.2. The internal politics of the core language werr nothing short of caustic.
Now that I've bitched my fill, you'll notice most of that was pre 5.3. PHP devs love to bitch about Facebook sweeping into their space, but Facebook has to turn a profit, and in my opinion, they fixed or demanded changes in a large quantity of bullshit in the language.
In my experience, finding quality PHP developers still remains hit or miss though. Languages like Java or even Ruby tend to weed out the problematic devs who cannot work in team environments.
The third party libraries are all really shit in PHP too, compared to Python or Javascript.
Whenever I code in PHP I always feel like I'm hacking around something that's poorly designed or re-implementing basic features and it's always an unpleasant experience.
The only benefit is that you can give someone a .zip of files, tell them to put in on their server and you're done.
>>54270465
I haven't found a good alternative for web RAD yet.
>>54270814
> Terrible 3rd party support
Have to disagree there, chief. 3rd party RoR-like libraries like Code Igniter, PHP Fuel, and Laravel (for heavier lifting) have made my life much easier. Although you can kiss that easy zip configuration goodbye with PHP Fuel and Laravel.
Prove me wrong.
Pro tip: You can't, because this shit is retarded
>>54270852
>I'll just restart apache every 10 requests
I work at a php shop, but not as a php faggot
Tell some tricks I can play on the faggots I work with, especially anything that can fuck up a laravel site
Or should I just look for CVEs?
Is there a widely used language that doesn't have serious problems?
>>54271184
>Is there a widely used language that doesn't have serious problems?
Yeah that one every single person uses... Oh wait
>>54271184
Mostly the boring languages I suspect.
Java, C#
>>54270852
where are those quotes from, are they seriously his? It would explain so much
>>54263496
>>54263511
>>54263524
>>54263534
>>54263555
>>54264781
>>54267614
>>54270786
>>54271263
>>54269611
>>54267679
These.
>>54264855
The question is more: Why do many agencies still try to use all-in-one omnimulti CMSs like Drupal or Typo with their own custom plugins when it has been shown that it is easier to create stuff with a big web application framework? In particular in the long run.
>>54263555
>"This is C++/Haskell/Java/Any language", right?
It makes more sense if you replace PHP with Haskell.
>>54271169
you can easy fuck up php using reflection, or some setting in php.ini though?
>>54263496
>he doesn't know where the op's image comes from
>>>/reddit/
>>54271275
Yeah those are his, the creator of php.
Go look it up.
>>54271169
>>54273611
You fuckers don't have enough work to do, and your first reaction is to slow down your other coworkers?
>>54273854
Dude really is the anti-Linus. Google "T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM v Sanity".
>>54264781
Speak for yourself, faggot.
