Tech stories
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology
You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology
ITT we post a tech story of any kind
>be me
>get a message from a friend
>"Anon, my computer is running really slow and it's messing up"
>avid porn hunter
>doesn't know what he's doing but downloads anything with a woman getting boned
>Ask dumbass where he went
>sign up sites and other pay shit and some sketchy "download now!" sites
>team viewer him
>tells me he doesn't know how this happened
>explain that those sites are sketchy and filled with shit
>doesn't understand me at all
>explain to not go there and if he needs porn to use a torrent site like kickass
>cleans computer with comodo and ccleaner
>2 weeks go by
>a worm is on his computer
>blames me for it cause "im the computer friend" and I don't know what I'm doing
>explain that my computer is fine and nothing like this has ever happened
>MFW he is basically a 10 year old downloading "anything cool" he can find from ads and shit
>he is 18
Why are people stupid as shit?
>>52265589
>he is 18
So he's basically a child.
>>52265589
>he is 18
I know you're probably around the same age, but by and large 18 year olds really don't know shit.
>>52265618
yeah
>>52265630
23 actually, about to be 24 sunday
>>52265589
>cleans computer with comodo and ccleaner
wow, it's literally your fault his computer is fucked up.
>>52265661
i have both on this shitmachine and it works ok for an 8 year old stock PC. for what I "need" right now, it does fine.
what would you suggest over the 2 then anon?
also i know like 10 people who use comodo and they all are doing fine and haven't had an issue.
>>52265660
Okay, well, your friend is still learning to be an adult so you should cut him some slack.
>>52265660
18 you think you know everything, 24 you think you understand everything, 28 you realize you're just less stupid than you used to be.
>>52265682
he's one of those that cannot into technology, he still has has the original desktop wallpaper it came with and like 60+ icons on his desktop
>>52265684
I can get that but nah, i know i don't understand everything and I want to try at least.
>>52265589
>Be end user support
>not my frist pick for job but bills / they work with school
>"hey my internet is slow"
>look into it, IP conflict. His device and another one a trying 'grab' the same ip
>pretty common dhcp issue
>restarting both devices solves it usually solves it
>Can't shell into his device for some reason so I'll need to troubleshoot that first
>It takes some time so I tell him I'll call him back in 15-30min and that his connection is going to drop a couple times
>Get a call after 16min
>areyoufuckingkidding.jpeg
>'hey whats up man, almost done'-me
>'You told me you'd call me back in 15min. Before it was slow now I am offline. You are an idiot, get me over to your supervisor right now so I can tell him to find more competent employees I'm a CompSci major and I know you don't know what you're doing'
>Pretty mad about this but I suck it up, explain what is going on
>he obviously doesn't know what I'm saying
>also point out that I said up to 30min and that his connection would drop
>tells me to stop messing with it
>5sec later everythings back up
>ask him to test the connection
>'this is the fastest it's been in months! Just don't touch anything again.'
>Say 'You're welcome by the way'
>end the call
I refuse to take calls from this guy. I'm hope he treats everyone like this so he gets his service pulled. Never want to talk to him again.
>>52265684
People are always mistaking me for three or four years older than I actually am.
I guess I've learned to embrace the fact that I'm pretty fucking stupid.
>>52265919
Man, if you're supporting customers at all, then you're going to realize that a lot of them are exactly like this or worse.
Shit sucks but people are entitled cunts a lot of the time when they call support.
>be me
>with dad
>do dish network and shit
>get a call"Anon can you come check out my receiver, it's not working"
>say ok
>Dad and I go check out this woman's stuff
>walk in and check behind the tv
>not plugged in
>plug it in
>works fine
>needs updates
>takes 2 minutes
>done
>lady asks what was wrong
>dad makes up bullshit excuse "It needed an update and [insert stupid shit here]"
>lady believes him
>get 50 out of her
>leaves
This happened all the time when I worked with my dad and these people are fucking stupif
>>52266281
Pretty much this.
Some goy bought a new router without having a ISP. And he got all buttblasted when it didn't give him any internet.
He didn't even bought it at our store
speaking of tech.
I found this in garbage.
>>52266842
It is garbage.
>Hey guy can you help me with..
>sorry I'm only familiar with my computer.. Try looking it up online
Yeah I interrupt them so fucking what?
>>52267239
it comes with 160 GB caviar blue WD HDDD.
My /g/ sense is tingling, there is CP on it.
But it have SATA only port, the only thing u have is eSATA port on my laptop
>>52266442
> bought a new router without having a ISP
my god, some people
>>52267295
> there is CP on it
No, just excel files and boring family pictures.
>>52265684
And at 30 you realize you're dumb as bricks but just never realized it before
t. Life experience
>>52265589
I was the guy who took care of computers in HS. Yeah. Girls' computers' too.
I've gotten a lot of bikini pics and some nudes from that. (god bless the recuva devs).
>>52266842
specs on the ram?
>Go to computer store and look at all the laptops in the PC section
>They are all hilariously bad
>Buy a mac
>Actually do things with it besides Video games and scanning for viruses
>>52265589
>be 18
>click on anything I want, watch porn on any website, click on ads just for lulz
>if it goes wrong, just let my 23 year old nerd friend fix it
>if it goes wrong again, blame it on him
>>52267420
>>52265589
>work as henchman for local ISP (read work under ISP contractor)
>ISP leases out vodafone so speeds are pretty shit
>have to often go to houses to sort out connectivity issues
>99% of the times its the ISP's fault, customers are pretty much oblivious to anything and just "want the internet back"
>about 4 months ago
>some guy from outskirts of town complained that he cant use the internet
>go to his house on my trusty honda bike
>old guy, in his late 60s it seems
>leads me to his PC
>router is on, PC is working, everything looks alright
>except the RJ-45 cable from the router is not connected
>connect cable, it werks
>explain him step-by-step what he can do to resolve the issue himself, the basics like checking the cable, if the router is powered on, etc
>he writes it in his little diary as i explain it to him
>teach him to use wikipedia to read on anything he wants to
>he thanks me for explaining everything, nobody ever explained him anything before
>his wife serves me OJ
The world would be such a good place only if the young folks were this receptive.
>>52267542
>NO! IT'S YOUR FAULT! IT'S BECAUSE YOU INSTALLED THAT PROGRAM 7 MONTHS AGO!
>CLIENT IS KEENG!
God, some people are really fucking entitled.
>>52265660
happy birthday :^)
>>52267733
:^) Thank you anon.
>just now
>passing understanding of tech, went to programming classes in high school, never did anything with it but love the vidya
>dis- and re-assembled a few guns
>buy pic related
>decide to try and learn how it works
>no circuit diagrams online
>use PH00 that came with nintendo screwdriver, fits
>get in, get to the point where I can see each component individually, but don't pull screen/polarization bit apart
>put it back together, glitch screen
>keep dis- and re-assembling, cleaning serial connection to the screen, trying different directions when connecting power (there's 4 clamps, turns out it works when you start at 3 o'clock and go clockwise) (then again, maybe i'm imagining voodoo)
>get it working, but won't show AM when in 12h mode
>dis- and re-assembly 3 more times before realizing
>there is no AM lcd
>only PM and 12h
>the AM is only implied
this was the punchline but it continues with 2 more closing scenes
>made a clock
>show it off
>get taken to the police station
>one normally unused LCD section is constantly on, pic related, it's low to the left of weekday indicator, to the right of 24H
>admit defeat, decide to bring it to watch repair
>get dressed
>pick up watch
>it's gone
final story, ending on a positive note
>youtube video I used as a guide still running in background
>hear beeps
>check, realize in horror mine no longer beeps
>google issue, quickly find it, it's just one pin connecting to the backplate or not
>everything went better than expected
I still don't know how it works, nor can I reliably re-assemble it, but I think after identifying the bits that cause beeps, (https://timbin.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/hacking-like-a-terrorist-the-casio-f-91w/) I think I can use it for fun if it ever comes to that.
>>52269508
>>52269536
>>52269571
Does part of this story involve you getting to meet the President?
>Staying at a friends place
>Come home from work to a living room full of like 8 identical Dell desktops
>anon I spent half the day in a dumpster getting these
>I was thinking you could swap around some parts so I can sell them
>no
>But
>Shut your cock polisher and put them back
>Wait for him to leave the room
>snag a 550 power supply and 2x4 sticks of ram
>Cousin tells me that he wants a new gaming rig to go with the new LCD monitor he got for christmas
>Try to convince him to get a custom built, but he insists that he wants a pre-built because he doesn't want to deal with finding out whatever part broke and RMA:in it when things break
>fairenoug.jpg
>I give him a rundown of what's worth buying for his budget at the moment, we look at some machines that are available online for his budget and I agree to give him a heads up if I see any good deals on machines within his budget
>Give him the heads up whenever I see deals on decent pre-built gaming rigs
>His family has a tradition of hosting an annual get-together on his younger sister's birthday
>Coming over for this his dad tells him to show me the computer he's just bought
>Not a gaming rig, but a bottom-of-the-range 17" Acer laptop
>1366x768 screen (yes, 1366x768 on a 17") with dreadful viewing angles, single core AMD Sempron CPU, Radeon HD 3200 GPU with no dedicated VRAM, 3GB of 667MHz DDR2 and a 120 GB 5400 RPM HDD
>Remember seeing this exact model on sale a few weeks earlier for 400€, but he tells me he actually paid 700€ for it
>Explain to him, part-by-part what a piece of overpriced junk he's bought and demonstrate the awful viewing angles of his screen before I ask why he went and bought a laptop out of the blue when he was supposed to buy a gaming rig
>Tells me that he goes to LAN parties and that he thinks he might not always be able to get a ride from his dad or one of his friends' dads
>Ask him if this has ever happened and how often he goes to these LAN parties
>Never happened and he goes to them 1-2 times a year
>His dad comes in and asks what I think of the laptop
>Tell him the same thing, including that I saw the same machine on sale for almost half the price a few weeks ago, and demonstrate the dreadful viewing angles
>Laughs a bit and tells his son that he should probably have listened to me
>>52270067
Later found that they had just gone to the dad's (i.e my uncle's) standard appliances and electronics store and bought whatever the (clearly incompetent) sales clerk had told them. After a similar incident involving a smartphone my cousin at least stopped asking me for advice rather than doing so and then ignoring it.
Them going there and getting ripped off by the sales clerks is hardly an issue for me, except for how my grandmother goes to the same uncle whenever she wants to buy new appliances or electronics. When she wanted a new TV this same store is the first place that my uncle drove her to and the fact that she had to use her savings account when her use account didn't have enough money on it despite them selling their house not long before is quite telling of how much she overspent on it.
Ripping off people who should know better is one thing, but ripping off the elderly like that store does is just despicable.
>>52265589
>get called saturday morning
>"anon the computers don't werk"
>me: "I'm not the IT guy. I just help people I work with with their computar prollems"
>"We canT find the IT guy."
>me:"Well goddam it's saturday I don't even work in IT."
>"We don't have any one else to call anon you hafta come in please pretty please"
>me: "Have you tried turning it on and off, etc."
>"Yeah nothing werks come in nao plox"
>go in
>"We can't get anything to work"
>flick computer switches: no response
>look at extension cord POWER BAR: switch is not lit
>turn on switch
>now computers werk
>JESUSFUCKINGGOATSODOMYSATURDAYMORNINGCHRISTONEARTH
>>52265919
>30 minutes to restart shit
You should be fired.
>>52269733
Took me a while to get this reference, well worth it.
>work as escalation support at a popular backup software company
>frequently help out with the T1 calls when we're over forecast
>been working there so long t1 calls take less time than writing the case notes
>typically know exactly what the problem is within 5 minutes of the customer starting to speak
>typically get glowing reviews except for those asshats who are like "well I don't give out 5s" and "well i didn't like your answer so im scoring you a 1"
>fucking up my scores
>we don't do support of other software, just our own
>"what do you mean you can't import my emails into outlook express? you got my data back but what good is it if i can't open it?" - grandma/doctor/laywer/noob "it person"
>"sorry, we can't configure other people's software, we aren't trained in anything but how to operate our stuff. You need to contact your vendor or an IT guy"
>"well i think it's bullshit but fine, whatever"
>doesn't respond to emails, which get dumped in their spam because it filters us out, but no-reply doesn't and goes to the inbox so they get our "we haven't heard from you, is it fixed" emails and respond to that thinking we haven't tried to contact them and are angry
>doesn't fix the problem i told them they were having and calls back wondering why the problem isn't fixed yet
>sometimes this happens several times with everyone saying the same thing until finally they cave and just fucking fix the problem
>they go to geek squad who fixes nothing because they're fucking incompetent. HUR DUR MRE DICK SAID CLEAN ALL GOOD GIB $160 NAO
>come back saying the it guy found nothing wrong and say it's our fault again
Other issues like
>"i spent hours on the phone and they couldn't figure it out, and now it was sent to you and you figured out the issue in 10 minutes? WTF"
>can't badmouth the shitty agents who helped them before, so apologize instead
or
>"yeah i'm a comsci major so I know how to do all this stuff, but now it's not working"
>supresses rage at obvious retard
>>52270067
Didn't you already post this one word for word in a previous thread?
>>52272159
Oh, nevermind, I've seen some differences since the last time
>>52272088
>explain her fucking around broke it and should have called us earlier
>tries to tell me how to do my job, that ive been trained to do
>can't tell these people they keep breaking it because they are a stupid fuckface
my other favorite situations
>"oh well, windows is shitty, so i'll just get a mac instead"
>their windows computer was broken because they installed stupid shit or ran ccleaner or driver booster or shit
>installs mac keeper on their mac
>doesn't understand tabs or that windows can be behind other windows, closes all programs then reopens the ones they want instead of just clicking the one they wanted
>tries to do file level backups of things like exchange/sql databases
>calls files folders and vice versa
it goes on
sometimes these people are really nice, othertimes they're like, colossal fucking retards who should just stop breathing
the mute button is my best friend otherwise i'd probably kill myself
>>52265630
and then you get the ones that sell their startup for trillions or something. The world is weird.
>>52272251
>>52272088
I know that feel bro
>>52267671
YOU TOUCHED IT! YOUR FAULT! I'M SUING YOU!
>>52272251
sounds familiar
1/2
>working for large web hosting company last year
>lowly system admin with a fucking phone
>10 hour shift get off at 10pm
>woman calls up at 9:45 screaming at me
>last agent upgraded her to a new hosting environment just to make a sale
>her site was built by some guy in singapore
>fucking why
>the guy sold her site and split
>she doesn't know how to maintain site
>migration broke some functionality of site, last agent allegedly promised it would work %100. he probably did too
>she has major product release in the morning she needs to put up
>look at mess of mangled, disgusting code he left
>lady spends the next two hours literally having a psychological melt down on the phone, screaming at me
>try to explain that she's gunna have to youtube / google / irc all night if she has any hope of updating her site for tomorrow
>demands hosting reverted back to old environment
>explain that will take 5-7 days and will not fix the broken functionality, she's better off trying to make some progress on the site tonight
>company rule cannot hang up on customer or will be fired
>she eventually freaks out and demands supervisor
>explain supervisor doesn't know anything about tech, is busy and will contact her ASAP, offer customer sup's email in the meantime
>she hangs up after a while
>clock out and stumble into parking lot at midnight to go home
>>52273525
2/2
>first call of the day
>woman literally screaming when i pick up
>wants to know why i haven't been filled in on her problem
>transferred from another department
>woman wants to crucify me over this
>maintain composure
>last agent left no fucking notes
>explain this to her
>she freaks out for a long time
>interchangeably uses the word browser / program / website / hosting / internet
>can barely understand what the fuck she wants
>tell her i can't help if she's yelling, i'm here to help
>she finally conferences her web developer in on the line
>some guy from africa, heavy african accent, no shit, what the fuck
>turns out they just wants to know what her god damn FTP credentials are
>she screams at web developer a lot during call
>bitch can't be controlled
>call now an hour deep
>walk her through viewing her own credentials cause policy, can't reveal that we see all passwords
>hear her orally tell web dev the password as he tries to log in
>she did not tell him the last character of the password
>can't log in
>desperately hint that i think she's missing one character probably
>she freaks out
>offer password reset
>she freaks out
>eventually gets it
>2 hour call
>quit the job next week
>2016
>revealing your power level
I always say I don't know how to fix it or ask for money.
>>52273656
3/2
>most other calls were unfucking sql databases and maintaining poorly coded websites
>for developers who sat on the couch and smoked pot all day
>they call in and brag about the $2,500 check they were collecting that week for maintaining the site
>i did the work for them, they collect the check
>making hourly penuts + full benefits
>hey faggit youve been on the phone for 6 hours do you want a 10min brek?
>don't even bother giving notice
>NEET
>feelts gud man
>work in customer service for cable company
>nigress calls
>"my WiFi aint working"
> modem seems online from the cmts. Most likely she turned off the WiFi on her iPhone.
>guide her through the settings
> WiFi is on.
> still can't even see the WiFi network. Not even the default one that comes from factory.
> about to roll a tech
>niggress " excuse sir, what is the stick behind the modem"
> clueless for a sec, pulls the modem manual, the stick she's talking about is the WiFi antenna .
> explain, a advised the modem needs it for the wifi to work.
> hear on the background " DESHAWN, DESHAWN PUT THAT SHIT BACK ON "
> WiFi magically stars working afterwards
>>52274157
almost woudn't have believed you if i didn't work at an ISP for a while doing support
>>52270930
You have to restart both devices one at a time. Sometimes it doesn't solve an IP conflict on the first go. Along with some of our devices are old and will take upwards of 5min before I can shell back into them.
>>52266281
I've been supporting users in the tech field for close to 2 years?
There's a reason I'm in school. It's my only ticket outta here
>>52267542
>have to go to houses to sort out connectivity issues
thank god I don't have to do installer work anymore.
>>52274224
Luckily she mentioned it. Otherwise the tech visit would show a nice 50$ extra fee on her bill for him to screw the antenna in.
>>52269891
>2x4 sticks of ram
we carpenters now
>>52273656
>walk her through viewing her own credentials cause policy, can't reveal that we see all passwords
aaaaaaa
>>52267671
>TFW I'm not a support monkey.
>TFW I am basically indispensable.
>No one else in the company can do my job.
>If I don't do my job, company does not make money.
Feels fucking fantastic, you can speak your mind and usually go toe to toe with much higher level managers.
>>52274848
>tfw can usually fix anything I need
>one of the best "computer" guys I know, but heavily less knowledgeable compared to most of /g/
>move to another city for Uni studies
>pick the cheapest internet, 5euro/month 100/100
>at rush hours it doesn't download shit from other countries, yet shit like youtube or 4chan works flawlessly
>one morning the internet just straight up dissapeared, restarting shit didn't help
>call in support
>they fuck with something on the router settings from the browser (127.0....)
>literally 2 minutes
>they came in 30 minutes after call
>free of charge
>God bless not America
>>52266442
>He didn't even bought it at our store
I'm going to start fucking with people by doing this. I think I'll bring my computer to an auto repair shop and tell them it doesn't work after I filled it with gasoline. I'm going to blame it on that new gas with ethanol.
>>52275589
that actually sounds pretty fun
Just happened today.
Be me.
Get email from teacher saying the can't print to copier.
I think it's just a connection issue, no big deal.
Go up to see her and send a print job to the copier.
Since we use the store function for the copier, I have to put in her pin to access her files.
Put in pin.
Copier starts giving birth to her files.
Look at her and tell her it's fixed
She yells at me and says it's my fault it didn't work.
Ohwell.jpg
Also,within minutes, the same teacher says her computer is slow. I asked her if she has restarted it in a while. She says she did, and that she does everyday.
Let'ssee.jpg
Log into lansweeper and go to her computer, notice it hasn't been turned off in 4 months. I tell her about it and she yells at me. I just told her to restart her computer and I went back to my office to read Manga.
>>52275833
Why does your teacher yell at you? Aren't you fucking helping her?
People aren't stupid, they are narcissistic. In an attempt to purge themselves of the idea that they are imperfect they tell themselves that you are the cause of all the problems in their life, it's unfair but hey, it's humanity after all
>>52275861
Well of course I'm helping. They just get upset when they do something wrong, and we show them how to do it correctly. They just don't want to seem dumb I guess.
>>52267542
Nothing better than clients that appreciate your knowledge. Collecting good feels.
>>52275861
Welcome to tech support. Were it's your fault even when it isn't. If you're lucky you'll move out of end user support. If not you'll just burn out and quit.
>>52269891
Give them back Jamal.
>Everyone getting new PCs
>notice the time to transfer one person's profile is taking forever
>investigate
>she has seasons 1-3 of Game of Thrones on her work computer
God bless government employees.
>>52267386
Big titted highschoolers are like some kind of experiment in yeast cultures.
>>52276239
>they're lossless, uncompressed BDRemux and take up more than 1TB
>work in support
>preventive and corrective services for blood testing in hospitals
>life is good
>>52276300
Yeast cultures= beer? = not so legal naked sluts past out in your lawn? = likely pregnant and hungover?
>>52276300
I meant jailbait.
>>52274848
Feels good man.
Same here.
Previous admins didnt have a clue and created horrible unocumented software that is essential for the system to work and im the only one who looks through this mess.
>>52275922
People hate it when they are caught telling bullshit or when you make them look stupid.
Always play the fucking butler.
Type in some shit into cmd and tell her the computer needs to restart for the changes to take effect.
internally im always like "are you fucking retarded? just klick one button you fuckwit"
and on the outside im "oh thats odd, lets go through all the steps to make sure we didnt miss anything, the guide can be a little bit misleading sometimes"
>embedded systems class
>teacher asks who uses Linux exclusively
>people silently raise their hands
>that's it
>the next class is device interfacing
>teacher asks if anyone still uses Windows
>people hooting, hollering, smiling and calling out the version of Windows they use
Why are Windows users such monkeys?
>>52277080
>going to college for computer related topics
Boy, are you in for a rude awakening.
What if ISPs just dropped customers for being rude? Like it was a general rule. I would love to see the fallout.
A kind of similar thing happened with the game DOTA 2. If you were reported by a bunch of players for being rude (telling your teammates they suck or being a dick) you get restricted to a group of players like yourself for a limited amount of games. The fallout when they changed the requirement to leave from "x games played" to "x games WON" was pretty hilarious. I bet the shit storm would be 1000 times larger.
>>52275898
>call someone narcissistic
>be a tripcunt
oh the irony indeed
>>52277111
I'm not so confident in the future of computer engineering, I just don't trust my ability to stay in a different program I have no interest in just for a job.
>>52273935
I'm so glad I don't fuck with sql shit, i just make sure our program works to back up their data
you figure your own goddamn website out woman
>>52274578
At my job we don't see passwords and every time a customer tries to tell us or ask us im like
"yo don't tell me man, this call is recorded. no i don't need your password. I need to make sure I can do my work without being impeded with whatever password you put in, so i don't have access to it"
>>52275922
I had two customers yesterday who are like "jesus christ im a fucking idiot, how do I stop being stupid?"
Those customers i make sure are taken care of. Willingness to learn is a gold fucking star.
my story:
>at home
>daily, almost hourly, get messaged from aspie
>Talks to me like he's an NPC from a game,"Hey anon! did you know that in Pokemon that..."
>Get's this all the time. always messaging me stupid shit I do not care about.
>Talking to a random NPC in Batman is better
>Complains that his computer is over heating and not working right
>Tell him to google it
>nothing
>get on his computer thru team viewer
>No organization of anything.
>Pictures, music and video all in one folder
>everything is a mess
>Ask if he does anything on there worth while like games
>says no
>I tell him about linux/unix/ubuntu.
>he likes the idea
>starts to look more into it
>reads wiki's
>likes it
>tell him how to boot load and install
>does it but asks me a million questions.
>not installing it right
>Crashes
>asks me what do
>i tell him
>keeps messing up
>laptop is also shit
>Because of his pestering thru the years, I had had enough of him and wanted to end it
>Tell him I'm thru being friends with him and wanted him to stop.
>He gets upset
>Mother messages me,"He is good kid inside you should try more. he really likes you. he is crying right now."
>Tell his mother I had had enough of him and don't want to
>basically begs me
>"Fine. BUT I will give him 2 weeks. and in that 2 weeks, he has to at least try to find a job and work on his social skills. He is bad at them and needs to understand them better."
>She says ok
>2 days later he messages me and says he's doing better
>I think its an act
>his mom says he can go outside all on his own! oh boy...
>Mother thinks its ok for him to act this way at 22 YEARS OLD
>Still acts this way and messages me a million times a day
>thinks its ok to bug me so much
>not looking for a new job.
>story taking place a year ago
>at dad's
>dad doesn't have interweebz then
>dad bouncing off neighbor cause she said sure.
>dad tells me
>get on wifi
>get in her router settings
>there's a 2nd signal I can use
>set to "FBI van #34"
>use it when I come over
>she flips her gourd
>asks her kids which are literally 7-14-16
>kids were downloading cam movies
>told them that is one of the faster ways of getting a letter in the mail from your ISP
>obv didn't listen to me
>woman is a dumbass
>has no idea what torrenting is at all
>taught dad how to torrent
>he sees the wifi now
>tells me about it
>I tell him what I did
>dad almost falls to the floor laughing
>no one likes her
>didn't tell her about the wifi for almost 3 months
>She asked about it while sitting on the front porch with dad and step mom
>She legit thought the FBI was watching her
>can't stop laughing.
This happened at 3 day LAN party of about 150 people.
>2003
>be 13 years old
>friend is 14
>some dude sitting across from us asks about a game were playing
>tell him he can grab it from us, and the Crack is available on a website
>both of us repeat to him literally for 2 minutes straight "don't go to it on Internet Explorer"
>a minute later his computer stops working
>turns out he went to it in Internet Explorer
>couldn't play for rest of LAN
>be me, comp sci major working on senior project
>have to make something to where teachers can grade Science Fairs on their phone or laptop
>decide to do sql database, and a really simple php & html website thing
>really hate my major and programming, but I thought it was the easiest major when I first switched to it
>cannibalize previous projects to complete my senior project
>did a shit job desu, but it works. Can't edit scores or stuff like that though
>expect to barely pass
>end up getting an A because I'm very good at bullshitting and my sponsor thinks I did a great job, and the sponsor is the one who recommends the grade
>A is finalized, it's in the grade book.
>Sponsor decides to use a different database than the one I used, since I used the college one
>nothing works now
>meeting with her on Monday
I'm just going to blame their IT guy. I've already met him before, and he was a complete asshole to me for no reason, so I'm not going to feel guilty.
>get a text from a friend
>qt: "anon I can't log on to my email account!"
>me: "what operating system is your mail server using, is it Linux?"
>qt: "gmail? nvm i'm just gonna go to the mac store"
never thought /g/ would change me that much until that day
From old shit job at a mom and pop computer store, we mainly tried to offer networking for business clients
>they always are super vocal about teaching me random shit I don't know
>one day one of our biggest core clients router dies because it was ancient
>coworker insists he should go instead of me since I'm "too new" and they "love him"
>hand him a router we stock
>6 HOURS LATER, CLIENT IS FLIPPING SHIT, I WOULD BE TOO
>still hasn't fixed it
>"I'm getting an IP in the x.x.x.x range, but only on like ONE of the pcs!"
>that's a public IP... did you plug the modem into the switch? you need to put the router between them so it can use dhcp to give private IPs
>long silence
>he says he has never heard the words "private" or "public" said before IP
>0/10
>"just come here and see how impossible this is, nothings working"
>drive there with another router
>he is telling me what to do even though he called me out
>"Okay, don't install the router dude, and if you have to, you can't turn on 'DHCP' or anything okay?"
>walk over as he is breathing down my neck
>has modem plugged into switch
>first router is still in box on the floor
>old dead router is nearby with taped on note from client: "(isp) SAID THIS WAS DEAD". has "ROUTER" as part of product name
>ask what he's been doing for the past 6 hours
>HE'S JUST BEEN PLUGGING THE MODEM INTO RANDOM OPEN PORTS IN THE SWITCH AND EXPECTING IT TO WORK.
>It looks like their router died, we need to replace it with one we brought.
>"what's a router?"
>10/10
>r u serious?
>"all of the switches always have ports together and some of them are managed and some of them are not and I've always just plugged them together and it has always worked"
>ask why old and new "router" always have one port away from the other 4?
>"that is only for design purposes and is for looks, they are all the same, it's just a switch, 'router' means it is another word for managed switch"
do you even want me to go on and how I somehow got in trouble for this
>>52280377
kill yourself
>>52280377
>being this complex in terms when it comes to females
jesus christ you are autistic
>>52279388
you're the reason for all the shit software in the world. i'm going to steal your job in about 4 years
>>52280377
what you said
>me: "what operating system is your mail server using, is it Linux?"
what you should have said
>me: "what website is it on?"
>be me
>registry is having problems or some shit
>Google problem
>1 relevant result
>30 year old forum post on some dumb gaming forum
>mfw no solution and replies are disabled because the thread is too old.
>>52280488
yase
>>52281263
When that happens to mgs it's usually because I have no idea what I'm searching for. Just be vague, try different wording, and follow trails that aren't it but might be close to see what replies they get. Eventually you might learn that one stupid phrase or term.
>>52281263
>find ancient forum post with exactly the same problem that you have
>1 reply
>pm'd you the fix :)
>[THREAD CLOSED]
>>52280488
Anon pls do. I'll use it as my bedtime story tonight.
>>52277080
>Teacher asks if anyone still uses windows
>Someone says "Im still on windows 98" jokingly to lighten the mood
>Most of the class chuckles, gets a good smile out of it and moves on
>This poster slinks down in disgust thinking, "filthy windows using animals practically rioting and jacking off over windows."
>After class guy who made win 98 joke; "Hey anon, we're all going to get some food and go to the bar, want to come?"
>Poster "I don't purchase sustenance from these wincuck using stores that don't respect my freedoms."
>Jokebro; "Oh.. okay, you have a good night!"
>Walks out with friends laughing having a good time.
>You come post this on 4chan
>>52282174
>>52279177
so he wasn't blaming you and acting like a dickhead afterwards? or did you just leave that out?
>>52277080
no thats not it at all anon. It's that no coding on linux is taken seriously. No one takes linux serious that is relatively normal. People know of it but think it's "too complicated to work with" but people like us, who are smart enough to use it sometimes do. However, Windows on the other hand is easier to use, and is basically flexable compared to Linux and not annoying to install shit. Why any one honestly cares about linux, the only answer really is "CAUSE IT RESPEKTS MUH FREEDUMBS AND THE GUBERMINT CANT SEE MUH LOLI PORN!"
That is literally the only stupid reason. At this point, it's a giant joke that no one even cares about linux. The only things it's good for is shit like a net book, hand helds and phones. Android and iPhone are java based. They work yes but would you use Android on a daily basis? No? Why not? what's the issue? they make their own applications for said devices. At least, in comparisons, you wont get a virus as easily unless you're a complete idiot. And I mean COMPLETE IDIOT. Any one that gets a phone will go "HEY! LOOK! GOOGLE PLAY STORE! HEY LOOK! APP STORE!" No one takes unix seriously because there is no need too.
you can JUST now game on linux compared to years ago. And if you say"It's better for my work!" you're a dumbass. Who fucking cares what you do online unless you are specifically doing illegal shit, the guv does not care about anything you do unless you are a national threat. You're on 4chan, you're on /g/. you're not any more of a threat then my dog. Be happy, make a nice rig, plop on 7 or 8.1 and play games and shit like you're suppose to at this point.
>>52279388
just a bit of advice: make sure that you can't be traced before you blame someone else.
>>52282356
>windows is flexible and not annoying to install
What a load of crockshit. Once I had to physically remove a second HDD to install Windows 7. Windows is a pain in the ass to use.
>>52267417
>open terminal
>ping yahoo.com
>put terminal off to the side and make it a weird size so people think i'm using a tiling window manager or something
>casuals think i'm smart
>>52282386
I've never had an issue. You must not know what the fuck you're doing. the only time you have an installation error is literally when something physical cannot handle your program or because the program itself is damaged. The os has nothing to do with it.
>>52282432
No, the installer literally refused to install on my partition until I opened it up and removed a second HDD. That kind of bullshit only happens on Windows.
>>52282386
Maybe try don't pirate Windows
>>52282455
Maybe the partition wasn't formatted dipshit.
>>52267733
>>52267840
Tfw it's actually my birthday today
>>52282473
Except that I partitioned it with the Windows tool.
>>52282455
what?
The only thing I can remotely think of is your computer was using a drive that was too new for the os you were installing, but even that doesn't really make sense with what you're saying.
>>52267417
>implying you can't with windows
>implying you're so retarded you need to be shown less options to feel safer
>implying there's no viruses for macs
>implying implications
You can just shut the fuck up now, forever pls
>>52282492
>not using gparted
>>52282589
>not just using fdisk
>>52280488
Anon pls more.
>>52272251
What's wrong with Ccleaner?
>>52282719
it's not that they installed and ran ccleaner per se
it's that they did that, along with a slew of other "cleaning softwares", likely fucking over programs, fucked up their registries, and installed pups by trying to speedupmypc.com
Just, fuckin stop touching the registry if you don't know what you're doing. Just stop.
>I'm the 'tech guy' at work
>people always asking me to look at their computers or advise them what to buy
>I'm okay with it, but lately people just started dumping their shit in front of my dorm with a stick saying 'fix pls :3'
>this quickly becomes the new means of queuing for my tech support
>send out a mass email and put a note on my door that says 'any unscheduled computers left with me will be wiped and upgraded with TempleOS. You have been warned.'
>of course I come home to a laptop dumped at my door
>wipe wipe motherfucker
>everyone gives me their shit in person from then on
>One of my customers maintains an apartment building with 300+ tenants
>I am responsible for keeping the public and private networks afloat
>One day they get a DMCA complaint
>I install content filtering for them as a deterrent and set up detailed traffic logging
>Update AUP
>Few days after deployment, check logs
>See one high usage client and get logs
>6 hours prior, tries to torrent some porn and gets blocked
>He tries again and again at different sites, all blocked
>He then proceeds to try and use some basic web proxies to get to the sites, but I thought ahead and blocked those too
>He then tries to use a socks proxy and that is denied
>He tries to access various VPN services, and that is denied
>About 3 hours in and he's trying to use Hamachi but I blocked their entire network range
>Another three hours passes and he's still feverishly trying to download high definition porn on the public network
>Eventually gets tired of it and hits youporn hard the rest of the night.
Granted I can't completely block P2P, but most people don't have the ingenuity to get around the great wall of poverty to make it to the promised land.
>>52282883
>any unscheduled computers left with me will be wiped and upgraded with TempleOS. You have been warned
Fucking nice. If I ever end up in a bad tech support position, I'll keep this one in mind.
>>52282899
I'm not even tech support, I'm in the Air Force.
The actual tech support guys are literally worthless aside from updating flash
>>52282174
>tfw
>>52282345
I don't remember, I think he went "wtf" and blamed us for a few minutes before spending the entire LAN fixing his shit.
>>52277598
ISPs don't give a shit about rude customers, support employees are expendable.
>>52279388
>Senior project is a database + frontend
>Copies stuff from other projects to make it
>A
My fucking sides
>freelance tech repair
>my friends dad works at a junk yard and need an extra hand in regards to tech
>decide to help for a few weeks
>show up to junk yard
>all the computers and network shit is in a half size mobile home in the middle of the junk yard
>go inside
>greeted by old guy who lives there
>the only thing he does is sell glass online and invoices n shit
>look around the room
>two desktops in the background, a Dell Precision 390 and an inspiron 530s
>they have small issues but get them running in around 20 minutes
>old guy decides to ask me for help with the router
>"ok"
>pic fucking related
>>52283089
What's wrong with cloud computing?
>>52283164
Very little, especially with no ground holding you back
>>52283192CARLOS!!!
>>52279388
>Do compsci
>Get to year 3, work placement with small company
>Have to gather and compile inventories for multiple warehouses and create sale prediction algorithms, company used amazon among others for distribution.
>System they already had was web-based, so after cannibalizing my SQL and Web development projects, and looking at good ol stackexchange, I got 6 months work done in 8 weeks.
>Spend the next 4 months getting paid to shitpost on /g/
>FYP
>Regurgitate what I did for placement.
>4.0 GPA
>I go to AWS and show them my FYP and implementation
>They give me a job as a project supervisor, get paid to check that other peoples code is working, get credit for it working. I've never even read a programming (or any computing related) book in my life.
I don't have a pepe smug enough for this.
>>52283192
>>52283089
this is the best thing ever
>>52273935
>>for developers who sat on the couch and smoked pot all day
>>they call in and brag about the $2,500 check they were collecting that week for maintaining the site
I'm sorry man but that's how shit works, if you wanna become that asshole then just do it. Then you could have the choice of setting up profit sharing or something with your employees
this is in the tech range I suppose
>Be me
>dad knows im decent with computers
>no I literally google everything and figure out
>explain to dad that computers are not complicated you just over think them and see it as a cockpit with a million knobs
>Tell dad what I was able to do with the old netbook
>only os that ACTUALLY works is Mint
>Dad says things like "anon you should goto college for this! You're really smart! you should look into this!"
>explain why I don't want to
>explain that it's like there's a bunch of cokes and dr peppers while everyone is getting a dr P I go for a coke and people wonder why.
>I want to be a game music dev
>dad has heard my work and says a lot of it would be cool in games
>tell him I don't know any one that wants this as a career
>Tells him I know at least 10 people who want to be in codes and shit with coding and what not
>dad still doesn't see it because he sees it as "Tech is going up. You know how to work with it. You could fix this for a living and make money!"
>Explain the analogy differently.
>Explain it that if there's 40 people going to be an IT fag when they only need 20 and 10 people for GMD's when they need 20, why go for the one I have to overly compete for?
>finally understands
>dad thinks that I'm smart and finally gets to use his
>dad understands I know how to android and compute
>dad still doesn't like me on his computer even tho I've
>thinks I get virus'
>noidont.avi
>never had a single virus on my computer
>says he gets them when I come over
OK does this happen to any one else? the last part especially? When I send a file that I KNOW is safe people get virus from me? How does this work?
also any one have parents like this?
>>52270067
stale pasta is stale
>>52283543
Your career explanation doesn't make sense.
Programming/IT has thousands of jobs available despite a "lot" of people studying CS/etc (currently over a million taken jobs in the us according to gubment info just for software development).
Gamedev music has probably less than 1000 jobs already taken in the entire fucking country, the amount of game developers are ridiculously few to the point that most successful indie developers know each other personally and big companies are probably under 100 total, and music is way more saturated and accessible than technical jobs.
>>52283639
basically i heard there are more people into IT than there are people into Music game production. That's what I meant.
Even so, I could do it. And I want to do that. Cause making music is fun to me.
A friend of mine said that I should look into working at the mac store. Told him, I couldn't deal with idiots like that. It's not that I'm not a people person, it's that I can't stand idiots any more. I went to the Apple store one day, and I asked one of the guys what he thinks is the percentage of "user error" that walks in with a busted device. he ranged it between 60-85%. I told him I wasn't an idiot when it came to computers, he got it.
but, maybe it's area. I don't know. Cause I'm here in GA and people are fucking stupid.
>>52282236
>>52282611
>>52281463
>"that is only for design purposes and is for looks, they are all the same, it's just a switch, 'router' means it is another word for managed switch"
>r
>u
>srs
>lie. oh yeah this problem they're having looks impossible, I guess we'll wait for the boss to get here, he'll know what to do!
>wait until he goes into other room
>turbo heave flip router out of box and position behind a book but run cables around between switch and modem
>default settings, don't even log in, DHCP enabled obviously
>internet works, their gay proprietary software works, everything fucking works
>comes running back in. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
>lie. uh I dunno I guess the problem is intermittent!
>walking around for 30 minutes for supervisor to show up to "fix" the problem, all of a sudden network is down again. go back to network room.
>HE LOGGED INTO THE ROUTER AND TURNED DHCP OFF AND THEN RESET THE SWITCH.
>"I told you not to turn on DHCP, it will mess with their network"
>oh god.
>wait for supervisor to call saying he's close and secretly turn DHCP on from the other room (logged in via wifi lol).
>"won't let me touch anything" but know he keeps resetting the switch thinking this will fix their problem.
>walk out and go home since it's past normal quitting time anyway. 5 minutes later, another inevitable switch reset, computers of course lease dhcp addresses and it all works again - just in time for boss man to walk in and wonder why 6 hours were spent!
next day
>log into our invoice system
>boss man is crazy intent about always charging clients the maximum rate "no matter what"
>he only charged them for 2 hours. lol
end of day
>he sits us down for a meeting
>"I'm not saying this towards any particular person, but it's not acceptable at any time to be 'selfish' and keep knowledge from someone else or think you're better than them because you know more"
>maximum lel
day later get a better offer elsewhere and give two weeks. I am not even trolling.
>>52265684
Wow, it's almost as if people age at different rates!
I fucking hate being "the computer friend"
>>52283825
>basically i heard there are more people into IT than there are people into Music game production.
You heard wrong. I work in videogames and musicians are a dime a dozen, the field is saturated. You hear about less people doing it because it's not an actual career and scoring a job in the field is a miracle, you need to be both excellent and luck out in who manages to get your demo/contact info, and even in that case many times you get underpayed or even get faggots going "It's good for your portfolio do it for free".
I encourage you to send some mails to people who lucked out and work in the indie scene and ask them about their careers and recommendations. Harry Mack, Chris Christodoulou, those kind of guys.
>>52283898
well alright, I get that then. That would make sense.
then what do you think is the likelihood of getting a game made and on steam?
Why do you think so many people get into game deving and then quit so soon?
>>52283944
Getting a game on steam is ridiculously easy these days and it no longer guarantees any financial success. There's some incredibly bad games there. I mean, look at this for example: http://store.steampowered.com/app/329480/
Game development is hard. Just learning all the things you need to know takes a few years and quite some practice. Then more time making an actual commercial game. A lot quit there as bills pile up. Then of the rest, 95% of wannabe indie developers don't understand that it's a business and they need to do market research/marketing/social media/PR etc. They just want to make a game and hope they luck out. Some make it purely on luck and good taste, but most don't.
>>52269733
>>52284041
why the FUCK is that 100$? That's like this 1 guy on amazon thinking people would buy his duel disk for 1k cause it was basically considered "vintage" at that point.
seriously tho, isn't that what game dev tycoon is for lol?
>>52276348
at least she would have good taste in file formats
>>52274385
underrated post
>>52284123
Because it's a masterpiece my man!
Says in the forums that steam sends money monthly and his/her bank charges $23 per transaction, so he/she was losing money when it was cheaper. Incompetence at a new level, top fucking kek.
>>52265684
34 and your happy you can still learn anything.
>>52278719
Block his shit, you fucktard.
>>52284146
stop that or go sit in the corner
>>52284164
Oh trust me, you're not the first person to tell me this. . . It's just, I feel bad for the little retard. HOWEVER, since I found a new card store to play magic at, I am officially charging him to see me if he wants to. so either 40 at once or nothing at all. I am 1.3 miles from this place to play magic. I am happy.
>>52265589
>be me
>have non-retarded friends
>>52284041
Well, this just made my hops and dreams better. 15$, so that I can make an even 10$ a copy and distribute it easier, and never any dlc. Ever. You buy the game early access, without it costing more for some reason.
>>52267542
>he writes it in his little diary
I love this
>>52270267
>actually going in
>not telling them to get fucked
Why are you being such a bitch? Not your problem the it guy wasn't around
>>52284199
Feels fucking great
>>52273525
>fired for hanging up
What kind of fucked up company is this? You can give customers warnings right? Then you have a right to hang up
>Work as tech support for local school
>Most time is spent answering calls from teachers having issues with projector software
>Teacher calls unable to turn on computer
>Obviously first solution is to check if it's plugged in
>Have to phrase this very gently as most people take offense to the question "is it plugged in?"
>"Have you checked your connections?"
>Teacher still takes offense to this and begins bitching at me and threatening to inform my boss
>"Did you make sure the power cable is plugged into your computer?"
>Apparently realizing this to be the issue the teacher quickly thanks me and hangs up.
Don't get why people hate being asked basic questions if they're willing to call for help.
>>52285155
>>52275898 explains it all.
>>52275833
She probably thought turning off the monitor or logging out counts.
>>52283192
[ CAN'T WAKE UP ]
>>52282886
Why are you being a cunt and censoring the internet?
>pentest real big company
>gain RCE at 17:00 friday
>report
>sysadmin forced to work overtime
>get upset email on monday from sysadmin about working overtime
>do the same thing next friday
feelsgoodman.jpg
>>52274848
Beware.
If they can't afford to fire you as you are the only one who can do it, they def won't promote you into something comfier, for the same reason.
>be me
>client wants to upgrade from win 7 to win 10
>also want new shiny office 2016 (currently on 2013 and works fine)
>tell them its going to be risky and take backups before sending them in for upgrade
>get the computers(4 to start off with to test things out)
>upgrading.jpg
>ethernet driver errors everywhere
>office 2016 outlook cant discover exchange server
>nothingfuckingworks.jpg
>windows.old is corrupted
>do you have backups?
>what are those?
>mfw
>>52285155
It's because computers are hard. Everything that goes wrong with them is either the government's or hackers fault.
>>52267295
get an external enclosure.
>>52282883
>free templeOS installation
That sounds like a good thing
>>52282356
How's the weather in india rajeesh?
>friend asks for my help building a gaming setup
>he disregards my advice and goes for expensive "gaming" motherboard "gaming" ram etc.
>asks for keyboard, mouse and headset advice
>he disregards my advice again and buys a razer keyboard razer mouse razer headset and a lighting up RGB mouse mat
I've since told him when he wants advice don't ask me because I'm not giving him any
>>52282356
This is bait, right?
>>52286480
what does that even mean? I'm in GA dude
>>52286570
no. /g/ is just a giant hipster nerd.
>>52286564
What are the benefits of gaming RAM and motherboards?
>>52286620
obviously better for gaming, yeah it costs more but it has gaming in the name so works way better for playing games, plus it comes in red which help it perform even better
>>52275781
>fun
autistic
>>52286636
thsi smart ass.
>>52286636
Why did I expect a helpful answer? :^)
But seriously, this is the stupid question thread. Give me a break m8.
>>52286655
oh sorry I thought you was making a joke, there's no difference between gaming components other than being marketed to a younger less informed audience, just made so they can charge more to idiots
>>52286674
Oh, alright.
I thought this was the different thread I was in. Thanks for the answer mate, now I won't make that mistake of getting "gaming" ram and motherboards.
Thanks for your help.
>>52279177
>LAN party
>desk falls onto a power surge strip (?), half the LAN of 300 or so people lose internet
>it gets fixed in like 10-15 minutes, but people who were playing any "competetive" games got a cooldown ban
>it was partially my fault
Since there's a lot of people who work for ISPs in this thread can I get a troubleshooting guide? i.e what the t1 use to diagnose problems?
>>52286736
also are there any books that cover troubleshooting in general like printers, not booting routers etc.
>>52286736
>>>/g/sqt
try there, if you can't find something good luck.
>>52286731
>little brothers a shithead
>streams all his games on twitch
>not funny
>watch his twitch
>he was plugged into a network switch in my room
>whenever he's about to win cut off his internet
good times
>>52286768
i love that!
>>52279177
Why can't he use IE? I know it's slow and shit, but what made it react so harshly?
>>52278719
judging by how autistic he seems you could probably just make a bot to speak to him, doubt he'd notice maybe just check the chat every now and again
>>52286795
I can't fucking figure bots out dude. Can you do that for facebook?
>>52286783
surprisingly it was effective
>parents work away
>he figures out it me
>tell him if he gets his shit together and gets his grades up I'll stop
>his pc eventually breaks
>give him one of my old thinkpads running debian
>he asks me a million questions
>tell him for each question he asks he loses one day of internet
>he's been solving his own issues and doesn't seem to miss games at all
>>52286768
You should try creating artificial lag at crucial moments
>>52286822
Easiest way would be to make a simple javascript userscript that would send "uh-huh" and "allright".
>>52286822
I don't program but I've heard pythons really good for automation/bots IIRC cleverbots open source you could probably hack that to fit your needs
>>52286842
I use PHP to write my IRC bots :^)
>>52286842
If he was lazy he could just make a javascript script that would send the autists message to cleverbot and then send the cleverbot's reply back to the autist
>>52286896
that'd be a simpler solution
>>52286791
I'd imagine a 0day or some shit
>>52266402
It's common for technicians to make up white lies because if you told a normie 'I just had to plug it in' they'd think the job you did wasn't worth the money.
>>52286824
sounds like my cousin in a way. he was that way to me sorta. He was a royal dick bag tho.
>>52286838
you dun know the 1/2 of it dude.
>messages me almost weekly
>"anon! can we goto the card shop this week? my mom said she would take us!"
>"Do you have 40 for me to deal with you?"
>"No. We can't because [reasons i don't care about and trying to make me feel bad]"
>"Aspburgers, you're not going to make me feel bad. I don't care any more. You want to hang out with me for the night? You bring 40 for me. I'm not baby sitting you. You're 23 years old and you act 7"
>"o..ok"
>Mom now takes me
>yes, im a 24 and i don't have a licence ... shuddup.
>ditched autistic more and more
>feeling less stressed
>>52286838
That's what I did to my brother when I visited my parents last summer holidays. Wrote a Python script that logs into the router and blocks the ports used by DOTA. I know it's cheap to fuck with a 16 yo, but it's always entertaining to see him sperg out and yell to his faggot friends on Teamspeak when they accuse him of feeding.
>go to Verizon store with my aunt
>silence
>remember something I read on /g/
>"do people ever come and upgrade their 16gb iPhone because it's full?"
>sales rep looks like she's about to lose it when she says "all the time" three or four times
/g/ meme confirmed real
>>52287019
I'm having a hard time figuring out which one was the autist and which one was you
>"Do you have 40 for me to deal with you?"
>"You bring 40 for me. I'm not baby sitting you"
What do these even mean?
>>52287028
There was an anon here who made a thread about how he fucked with some kid who used his wifi (he let him in for shits and gigs after the kid used a dictionary attack). He created random 600ms lag spikes by redirecting him through 3x3 VPNs
>>52287114
>>"Do you have 40 for me to deal with you?"
>>"You bring 40 for me. I'm not baby sitting you"
im sorry anon, it's 6am here, im getting very tired.
>"do you have 40 for me to deal with you? You bring me 40 and you can hang out with me. I'm not your baby sitter for free."
When we were at another card shop, he was my constant responsibility and I'm not doing that shit anymore.
>>52265589
>family bought this god of placebo
>supposedly it measures blood pressure, sugar, nutrition, it tests for cancer, alzheimer's and all other sorts of whatnot
>by holding that fucking metal bar
>mom persuades me to install the thing on her computer
>the whole family is waiting
>install it
>attempt to run it
>some obscure error in chinese pops up
>it looks like it doesn't run on anything not XP (her computer was running 7)
>tell that to the family
>they persuade me to reinstall XP
>holy shit give me a fucking break
>fetch the XP installation disc
>install XP
>install the placebo program
>it works now finally
>attempt to leave the room but they apparently need me to "add" them in the program
>it's just two fucking buttons you have to click, how retarded are you people?
>retarded enough to buy this device it seems so I'm not even surprised
>"add" aunts
>she holds the metal bar while device beeps and shows le medical info on the screen
>the whole family gets euphoric and start commenting on her health
>I cringe and try to leave the room as quickly as possible
>they quickly bring me back so I can "add" the rest of the family (uncle, granny, gramps..)
>it's just 3 fucking steps: click add, input data, click okay what the fuck do you not understand?
>grandma comments on my bitterness and I'm probably missing a vitamin that causes me to behave like that
>mom and grandma persuade me to "add" myself to get teseted
>had to hold that fucking metal bar for 30 seconds like a fucking retard
>cringed the whole duration
>"why are you making that facial expression anon?"
>the device finally stops beeping and shows my "medical" info on the screen
>apparently I'm missing vitamin B6, B7 and C and I have problem with kidneys
>the whole family starts talking to my mom how I should eat more fruit to replenish my vitamins
>all she does is nod the whole time in agreement
>for months she stopped buying meat and forced me to eat oranges and bananas every fucking day
fucking hell.
>>52283851
How is it acceptable to be that retarded and still have a job afterward? I hardly know anything about networking and I understand more than that monkey, jesus fucking christ
-sidenote, I enjoyed getting mad at this.
>>52287261
how illiterate is everyone in your family
>friend of gf needs a new laptop
>asks me for advice
>after looking around for a bit I finally settle on a specific laptop
>€900, 250GB SSD, i5, 8GB RAM, 13" 1080p IPS screen, sleek white look, basically the perfect laptop
>meet her a few weeks later
>turns out she spent more money to get a Macbook Air that has half the RAM, half the storage and a worse screen for at least €100 more
Fucking girls. If you're not going to listen to my advice anyways, why ask me in the first place?
>>52282954
>flash
>mentions adobe product
>not 1 reply
severely underrated
>>52287261
Lemme guess, they blamed YOU when their computer eventually got infected because of XP (and them being retards in general).
>>52265589
>me be
Stop.
>>52287397
For girls like that it's form over function.
Macs are perfect for them
>>52287397
>2016
>wasting your time giving advice for free, ESPECIALLY to plebs who'll misuse it
>>52270267
If you are going to be this beta at least milk it ffs.
>turn on switch
>see it works
>turn it back off
>spend the next 8 hours fucking around
>get overtime
>when everyone is pulling hair out
>turn switch on
>get raise
>get pussy
>get office hero status
>>52287261
General retardation aside, why not running XP in a virtual machine?
Also, I would murder someone if I was forced to stop eating meat and force fed fruit.
>>52287628
if the plocebo box 3000 wont work on win7 compatibility mode, it probably wont work with hardware passthrough in a virtual machine either
>>52287669
May be, but for me it's still worth a try before wiping 7 and putting up XP for everyday use, just because one shitty chinese program needs it.
>>52287682
well, they are so braindead it wont even matter, they are better off with an os with no support than one that they can actually run something useful on
assuming that the anon has his own pc that is not related to this xp one in any way.
>>52286915
That's what my jew like dad does, now people who come to fix electronics at our house make up some bullshit reason instead
>>52283851
>"I'm not saying this towards any particular person, but it's not acceptable at any time to be 'selfish' and keep knowledge from someone else or think you're better than them because you know more"
He isn't wrong, but that guy had it coming.
>>52285979
Probably has been on the same positio for years without pay rise kek
>tfw i spent over an hour yesterday on the phone all over the fucking 'play to' feature of windows media player that barely works and was superceded by their media server being 100% functional but oh no we simply must have [feature that barely works].
They even decided to wipe the machine but there was so much media on it you weren't getting away with that. It was an OEM install as well, eww.
>>52286674
It's a really great marketing tactic.
Want to sell something for a higher price for more shekels? Label it a "Gamer" product and watch the shekels fall out of the pockets of idiots worldwide.
It's like the Apple logo only everyone, from large companies to guys on Ebay trying to pass off a used Thinkpad as a "Gaming" laptop.
>>52287628
>Also, I would murder someone if I was forced to stop eating meat and force fed fruit.
>inb4 Vegan Internet Defence Force jumps in
>>52287261
>Chinks
>Commies
>Smart
Not surprised. Also fuck off you fucking commie.
>>52267542
>in the end he offer me his daughter, a good looking 20 big boobed girl.
>>52276348
I literally fail to understand why people have /tv/ on their work profile
>>52270930
Never employed spotted.
>>52287878
that's clearly a screenshot he got from the web, not his pc
>be me in highschool
>fucking around on school computer, stumble upon list with all logins for the online grade database
>list is completely open, nothing keeping me from opening it.
>show friend, prove I can login to his account by doing so
>"whoa, anon. That's crazy"
>later, in class, called down to office
>friend tattled like a bitch
>I'm accused of hacking
>she's definitely one of those grinch-in-a-ski-mask normies
>suspended for 2 days
>mfw suspension room has air conditioning and its better than any of my classes.
>>52287993
Hope you don't associate with that bitch of a friend anymore.
>>52286838
This reminds me of that one guy whos neighbour was jacking into their wireless to play LoL so they rigged the connection to pass through i think it was 3 VMs which each dropped every other packet giving him a fucked up latency.
>>52287993
>"friend"
>>52288023
Were probably talking about the same guy
>>52281263
>1986 was 30 years ago.
>>52287878
Your and idiot
>>52287969
Even if it was, the line:
>some obscure error in chinese pops up
Seems rather indicative to me.
>>52288037
I just noticed it was mentioned shortly after that post. There was a picture explaining it if i recall.
>>52288040
>"Your and" idiot
>>52288023
my home network is a shared connection between 5 households and I am the only admin on the router, I set up strict nat so people cant open ports with upnp, so my retard neighbors cant use their torrenting applications as fast :^)
also I route all the traffic not coming from my ip to my server which logs all the packets and increases latency about 500ms just to fuck with em :^)
I just finished having a dream - was called for tech support and helped a dude out with his laptop's hdd. In this dream, it was normal for laptops to have their 2.5" drives mounted in a hollow space, on the underside, that's left uncovered.
I am left wondering, as I wake up, What's the advantage of a laptop that doesn't rely on having a closed underside?
Pic related - for probable lack of basis in reality
>worked L1 technical support for a law firm long time ago
>some secretary comes in from a senior lawyer
>"you must be anon, right? I was wondering if you can help me with my keyboard"
>sure
>"I received my new keyboard from you guys today, but it doesn't have a cable, just a small box with a blue light in it"
>okay
>"I was wondering if you could give me a keyboard cable, so I could use my new keyboard?"
And that was the day that I finally snapped
>>52288047
That line implies anon doesn't know Chinese, therefore he is not Chinese. Q.E.D
Imagine an English or an American saying: "Some obscure error in English pops up"
>>52288047
It seems indicative that he's not chinese and the software didn't even have decent English support to show the message in an understandable language, hence
>obscure
>>52287261
Speaking of pseudo-science and computers
>mom believes in supernatural and conspiracy shit
>starts asking me to turn off the wifi at night
>ask why
>talks about some retard she saw in a video
>guy uses dowsing rod to "prove" wifi is bad for your health
>i try to tell her how retarded it is and that dowsing is bullshit
>won't listen to reason as usual
>"anon please it'll just make me feel safer"
>being this retarded
>also believes putting a certain crystal next to a computer can stop it from getting viruses or being hacked
>>52288006
He stopped associating with me shortly after actually.
>>52265706
>he still has has the original desktop wallpaper it came with and like 60+ icons on his desktop
what's wrong with that?
>be me,
>be 18
>be the only person in the family that know how to properly use a computer
>mom still using 5yo laptop that my dad bought from a tv advert
>it was a piece of shit the day they bought it
Anyways
>one day mom call me over to her
>"anon i need u to fix my computer, its running slow and crashing"
As i reach for it she grapsp it like im a black man trying to steal her purse
She glares at me
>"anon i said fix it NOT TOUCH IT!"
>"wait what, u want me to fix it with out moving it, okay let me have the seat please."
>"No, dont TOUCH it just fix it."
>so confused how am i supposed to work on it if i cant physically touch it
This must be a joke
>lightly chuckle to amuse her joke and start to walk away
>bitch starts yelling at me and trys to ground me for a week
>lul k
>go to room and change the wifi password
>be me in tech retail
>some Indian dude brings in dust computer
>whats up?
>Indian explains pc doesn't boot
>prolly power supply
>opens case
>shit tons of roach eggs everywhere
>I like bugs but the smell was horried
>calmly closed pc
>said I can't work on it
>why
>shit tons of roach eggs
>dude doesn't understand roach problem
>dude gets upset
>responded by saying his pc is gross and im not working on it
>gets angry and leaves
>have a nice day
People are gross as shit
>>52288101
>>52288108
Why else would normal people use software by chinks? It just seems rather odd to me, since wouldn't it make more sense for chinks to use chink software? Then again, maybe people are just that fucking stupid. I'd never trust shit from the chinks.
>>52267386
geez, the girl on the right.
>>52288242
>change the wifi password
Good one.
If anyone tries to fuck with it, and "ground you" they can't do shit.
>>52288247
Probably had that shit lying around for MONTHS before he found it.
>>52288242
But seriously, how did she expect you to fix it without touching it?
Did she ever explain that to you?
>>52288242
Your mom sounds like a psycho, get out of there.
>>52288133
Psy-ops here
>mom believe in supernatural and conspiracy theories
Your mom is right about the crystals but tell her that not for the computer. Crystals can only abstract energy; positive and negative.
I'll put that on the glass water pitcher nearby the window. Trust me, your water will absorb the ions and taste different.
>>52288330
No, she ended up taking it to a local tech that charged her around 150$ to install asc and run it
>>52288355
Agreed, 1more year and il be outa here
Good news is though i managed to install team viewer on her new laptop so i can literally fix it without touching it.
>>52288247
poo in loo
>>52287993
>freshman in highschool
>IT class
>no internet
>normies desperate to go on facebook
>feel bad for them
>offer to set up the internet for them
>next class they make a fucking lan party
>they all yell across the class like apes
>teacher notices of course
>"how did you get internet?"
>"this anon set it up for us"
>fuck. every. single. one. of. you.
that's why you never fucking help normies.
normies only care about themselves
>>52288260
>normal people
You noticed his whole family is full of idiots?
They probably found it at retail and decided to buy it.
>>52287261
>for months she stopped buying meat and forced me to eat oranges and bananas every fucking day
Dayum son.
