You have no excuse to not upgrade to the shiny new PHP 7.
![69e661d5442eba63b64148dce3658c96[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/1Cq9d98.jpg "69e661d5442eba63b64148dce3658c96[1].jpg")
>>51783299
>php
tf is wrong with you op? do you want to be raped by a flock of wild AIDS ridden bears?
>>51783473
/thread
I still have to test if it wont break my code.
Luckily I am not programming OOP with it or else everything would be broken now:
https://tracker.moodle.org/browse/MDL-52335
The absolut PHP-Horror!
>>51783299
Compatibility
>>51783473
PHP is my favorite web development back end language, its the first one I learned, and the only one so far that is simple and does many things without too much hassle
>>51785948
>PHP is my favorite web development back end language,
>its the first one I learned,
I'm shocked to discover that anon.
Yes I have, I am not running any servers and have no need for php
>>51785948
>you can literally use any language you want, yes any, even lisp, for backends
>PHP is my favorite web development back end language
>PHP is my favorite ... language
Bullshit.
>>51786461
its just gr8 and easy and integrates well with apache and mysql
>>51786190
what other languages can you use instead?
>>51786504
Any language with a driver "integrates" well with mysql (not that you'd want to when redis exists). And your static webserver? How hard is it to redirect all traffic from a path (say /api/) to a port number?
Bro, are you even a web dev?
>>51785948
>PHP is my favorite web development back end language
>its the first one I learned
Quack!
Why do you guys hate PHP?
>>51786461
other anon here. PHP is my favorite language too. I am not even joking but the type-unsafity lets you do many things quick. Not. even. joking.
>>51786570
Because the creator himself describes it as a non-programming language for non-programmers - script kiddy language. Seriously, read some of this shit eev . ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/
>>51786514
Perl
>>51786619
php. just. works. why do anything a hard way when it can just work
>>51786644
Because doing things the "hard way" (ie, requiring some thought to architecture) means you can modify and maintain the code further on down the road with fewer people.
1 good Rails or Django developer is literally equal to 10 PHP code monkeys.
>>51786644
Shit performance, FUBAR standard library, no design philosophy at all (hodgepodge of additions) and virtually unusable without an even slower framework, that rewrites half the language.
>>51786667
I can modify and maintain my PHP code just fine, and I work alone
>>51786670
I dont use any frameworks, and it still performs just fine
>>51786699
>>51786570
Variable prefixing, uses C++ pointer syntax for classes instead of a dot, weak typing is a security flaw, promotes mixing front end and backend code (serious MV* violation), echo... Enough said, uses a dot instead of plus sign to concatenate strings.
Alone, all these things are annoying. Combined it's just an ugly language, coupled with the fact that it was unprofessionally slow until HHVM came around (double digit requests per second, wtf my backend can do 7000 requests per second), the only thing going for it that it ever had was popularity. That being said, any language about as popular as C# is generally popular enough for you to find answers for quickly with enough Googlefoo.
So why use it? Because you're a baby duck (so we feel justified hating you), because you're forced to by a web host that won't give you a vps (and we hate them for you for forcing php), because your ancient boss who has never been a good developer his entire life forces you (and we hate him for carrying on his bad habits like lycanthropy).
Honestly, you could have picked any language you want and you picked php.
>>51786590
Use python.
>everyone hating php
laravel is still the best web framework to be honest family
>>51786707
python indentation sucks ass and I just don't like the style. PHP can do many things as it is. In python you have to import this and that and use classes and all that shit.
As >>51786531 said "Quack!" my autism can't handle OOP. I want my stuff to work out of the box.
>>51786737
The use ruby. Don't like homosexuals? Use lua. We can literally go all night listing languages that border pseudocode which aren't just prettier than php but faster too.
>>51786804
>ruby
>prettier than php
go back to your mom's basement you fat neckbeard fuck
>>51786804
>ruby
>lua
yeah no, I thought about lua a long time ago but came to the conclusion that it's not as easy as php.
Anyone who does not code in PHP has not gotten the succ
>>51786849
Lisp? Rust? Haskell? How are you defining beauty in a language?
>>51786867
JavaScript!
>>51786737
>python indentation sucks ass
So you don't indent your code? :^)
The people that hate on PHP cannot use it themselves, that's why they go to hipster languages that are pretty to read.
>>51786925
python forces you to indent in a certain way, and I dont like that
>>51786849
>anything
>$uglier $than $PHP array ("nope" => "nope")
>>51786981
>using outdated array() syntax instead of superior []
>>51786936
I use C#.
Your argument is invalid.
>>51786940
What way is that? Due to the lack of braces, I couldn't imagine any other way to indent in Python. BTW, you can use spaces instead of tabs.
>>51786703
>just fine
Your just fine is still many times slower than a decent language.
>>51786936
A language that is hard to read might as well not exist, unless you are fine with maintaining whatever Pajeet shat out in a hurry.
I hate having to count my closing brackets.
>>51786514
nodejs :^)
Phpfag reporting in
I like to bang elephants in the ass
>>51787125
That's just being to lazy to learn the php syntax. Which honestly isn't that bad if you think about it. I write all my own php libraries and apis, and it is not even my main language. It's a hugely universal platform that most web servers support natively and don't require to be installed as a plugin (except for IIS). ASP/MVC is also way better, but not useful on a linux server.
Plebs who can't learn A language shun it.
i would much rather receive letters in the mail for page requests, photo copy the page they requested, and mail it to them than use PHP....
Saying PHP is bad because you dont wanna learn the syntax. Is like saying spanish is a bad language if you can't speak it (replace spanish with any language you don't know).
It just shows your competency in programming.
>>51783299
Already did a couple of days ago. From the tests I've done it runs alot faster and uses less resources, but I'll see how it does on a actual application next week but I expect it to be good. The new features like primitive type hints are good.
>>51783299
By the time management decides to upgrade our project to PHP7 I'm probably gonna have grandchildren.
>>51786667
>1 good Rails or Django developer
>Rails or Django
Social Enterprise Justice Quality
>>51783299
But I already have.
PHP is like C, the simple and elegant language of life.
ITT: mostly people who haven't used PHP in 5 years
I like php
>>51788822
More like people who haven't used it at all and just repeat memes.
>>51783473
4chan runs php.
>>51785173
>Luckily I am not programming OOP with it
By this one statement it clear to everyone that you are a html programmer.
>>51789124
Kek
>>51786730
Hey, I'm going to start working in a webdev team. It will be in PHP using Laravel, but I've never used PHP, Laravel or implemented a backend. Should I start with the Laracast tutorial videos or learn PHP and then Laravel?
I know you *should* start with the language and them the framework, and given infinite free time I would do that, but if learning Laravel will already provide the PHP knowledge I need, I'd go with that.
>>51789255
just start with laravel. if you don't understand something, looking up the php stuff is relatively easy.
>>51783299
>not using bash cgi scripting
>>51786737
You have never built anything larger than a class project. I guarantee it.
>>51788822
You can polish a dump truck load of elephant shit all you want, you can stick as many shiny knick knacks into it, you can push the shit around into whatever shape you like, and it won't matter.
When the fundamental thing you're working with is shit, nothing you do to it will ever make it anything other than shit.
>>51786514
C#/asp.net.. at least it supports threads
PHP
H
P
>>51786514
Ruby
>>51789284
Thanks, have a gif of stuff of nightmares.
>>51786514
PHP is fine, but if you are serious either C# or Java.
>>51786514
C#, using ASP.NET. It's big, enterprisey, and works well with other Microsoft things like Exchange or SQL Server. I wouldn't use it for a personal project or small team commission work, but if a lot of developers are going to have their hands in it at once and/or it needs to live within a corporate ecosystem, it's well suited for the job.
Ruby, using Rails. It's lightweight, easy to code, and makes most things extremely easy. A lot of useful extras come bundled out of the box, and most tasks are straightforward. It does force you to play by its rules more than ASP.NET or Go, but those rules are generally good, and doing so means that the system can take care of a LOT of work for free. You can do in 500 lines of Ruby on Rails what would take >5,000 to do in PHP.
Python, using Django. I've never used Django, but it gets compared/contrasted with Rails a lot, so I'm guessing it's similar.
Go. It doesn't need a framework since it was designed with web servers in mind, and it makes running many concurrent threads very intuitive compared to C#, python, etc. However, Go is a lot lower level than Ruby, Python, or C#, and it doesn't have the same amount of premade things, so be prepared to do some old-school work.
Javascript, using Node.js and about a dozen frameworks. This gets a LOT of flak because it's popular with idiots, hipsters, and idiotic hipsters, but it's very, very useful when what you want is an event-driven application that happens to be on the web, as opposed to a traditional web site. Everything is asynchronous and the line between client and server can get blurry. Morons use it where it doesn't belong and Javascript makes it easy to write bad code, but there are situations where it's useful and, unlike PHP, it is possible to write good code in it.
That's all the web platforms I know, but I'm sure there are more.
>>51786514
All of them. I use Perl because I'm insane.
>>51786737
Use functional programming then. Haskell and Clojure are both quite good and don't require OOP.
>sperging over php on a php driven website with millions of users a day
>>51789696
Oh, and there is one situation where PHP is the correct tool to use: when nearly all of your project is static HTML pages, and you just need to do a little bit of preprocessing. Things like loading images dynamically from a directory, changing things based on date or time, pulling content from a database, etc.
That's what PHP was created to do, and it's very good at it. It's a Hypertext Preprocessor, not a full blown application platform. It's been turned into that, badly, and with a series of increasingly awful hacks, but and just like every tool that's used incorrectly, it's absolutely shit at it's new job.
If all you want to do is make a dynamic web page, yes, use PHP. You'd be an idiot not to; putting up the infrastructure for Rails or Node just so you can make your restaurant’s website always display the most current menu would be retarded. Write it in PHP and have it pull records from your POS database.
If what you're doing could have been done in 2005, use PHP. If what you're doing is new to today, use something modern that doesn't rape your face.
>>51786737
>python indentation sucks ass and I just don't like the style
Whenever I hear people complain about this I get this big ass vibe that they just suck at everything. It's one of the dumbest things to complain about.
I wouldn't go to C, Perl, or etc and state I hate them because I don't like the syntax, neither should you.
Because we are running fucking node.js and angularjs what the dudhshgsjdhs
>>51783299
>smug face
>>51789942
What, are you too good for my master-level coding?public class Nigger
{ public static void main(String[] args)
{ bool thisIsRetarded = false
; int keksHad = 9001
; for (int i = 0; i < keksHad; i++)
{ System.out.println("You mad?")
;} if (thisIsRetarded)
{ System.out.println("Lol, nope")
;} ArrayList<String> yourTears = new ArrayList<String>()
; yourTears.add(";_:")
; yourTears.add(":'(")
;}}
I'll have you know I got an A- in CS230, so I'm pretty much an expert. Feel free to ask me anything; I'm always happy to share my genius with others :^)
>>51789880
On the other hand, if you're making a blog you should use a static site generator like Jekyll, Hakyll, or Pelican. Yes it's slightly more hassle to recompile your site every time you add content, but that also means everything on the server is pure static content and loads at mach five.
>>51783299
My boss demands that we stay at the comfy 5.2 that has;
>no short array syntax
>no cool stuff
>php 5.2
>>51786514
Django, Node.js, Ruby on Rails, Perl
>>51790061
Eh, Apache does a good enough job caching pages that I've never run into performance issues on the CMS pages I've deployed.
>>51790230
>Apache
please no
>>51790230
It happens all the time for heavy CMS sites with high traffic. Even a Xeon E5 and 32GB RAM and RAID10 SSDs won't let a heavy CMS match the performance of a static generated blog on a cheap ass VPS.
>>51789334
kusaba would like to have a word with you.
>>51790395
Trevorchan is terrible. Even its creator admits it. Its derivatives (Kusaba, Kusaba X, etc.) are all increasingly shit as well, and perform worse, have more security issues, and are far less stable than an archaic Perl script (Wakaba) that hasn't seen a major update since 2004.
>>51786986
Gotta support centos
>>51790580
>centos
disgusting
>>51790592
CentOS 5 is painful. Two more years and it's finally dead.
>>51790608
If you think that will stop idiotic suits from using it, I want what you're smoking.
In two more years the preliminary pre-meetings to prepare to discuss considering migrating to a newer OS. Hundreds of hours will be spent assembling cost:benefit documents, writing up action plans, and sending emails that are never read. Two years and 18 months from now, a prototype of the newer OS will be deployed alongside the old, and departments will be instructed to use the new whenever possible, which will be never, and the old system will continue to be maintained to ensure compatibility. Consultants will be brought in, paid ten times your salary, and recommend that the old system be maintained indefinitely as projected costs outweigh benefits.
In four years, the company will suffer a major attack from a vulnerability in CentOS 5 that was patched in later versions. Management will be furious, the engineering team will inform them that if they had moved to newer software it wouldn't have happened, management won't listen, and all promotion requests from engineering and IT will be declined for the next two years.
Welcome to corporate bureaucracy.
