ITT - the foods your parents would make all the time thinking they were being amazing cooks
I seriously gagged whenever my dad said that he made chili. It takes like diarrhea
>>7077355
Homemade spicy chili was the best you hobgoblin
Pic related was always gross, mother used velveeta all the time for it
>>7077355
my mother did this as well.. she didn't take the time to make the ground beef very small so it was just shards of beef in this shitty chili. On a side note anyone on here have a good chili recipe?
>>7077358
Chili is awesome. OP expected we should fly into a rage of agreement because beans.
My parental fail was when they switched all beef and pork recipes to Turkey, but they didn't adjust for the fact turkey has no flavor. Turkey burgers. Turkey bacon, tutkey tacos, Turkey chili.
And fuck you gaylord spellcheck. 5 foods mentioned in the same sentence, obviously I'm talking about fucking Tutkey
>>7077376
a little brown sugar, garlic, cumin, pepper, salt, a little teriyaki sauce, no beans, onions, green peppers
>>7077376
Start your own chili thread asspipe
>>7077355
My parents were and still are awful cooks. I mean, they were a complete disaster in the kitchen. Everything they made was bad. Until I started cooking the only spices in the kitchen were salt, pepper, marjoram and bay leaves.
But the worst was when they cooked fish. They would fry it in a pan just covered in egg and bread crumbs. It was always so bland tasting. And then served next to it was this god awful cabbage, onion, and apple salad.
pork chops
my mom would make them really tough and chewy to eat
>>7077381
tks
My mom tried dozens of different chicken breast recpies, and I hated every single one. No amount of marinating or seasoning could penetrate that solid, flavorless mass of chicken. I never said anything, though.
>>7077409
important thing with any chilli is to cook the beef a long time. you want it to be really, really tender. not spongy and chewy.
>>7077377
>Tutkey
>>7077427
No shit, Sherlock.
>where do we get these retards from?
>dad is pretty good cook when it comes to techniques
>can cook any cut of meat to perfection
>makes amazing sauces, stocks and soups
>his dumplings are too die for
>always glad when he's doing the cooking because mom has a repertoire of 3 dishes and they all suck
>indian supermarket opens near where he works
>one day comes home with a load of curry pastes and other indian spices
>from then on just randomly dumps that stuff into every french or central european dish he cooks
>not in a good fusion way, he's just dumping madras curry and shrimp paste into perfectly fine osso buco and cassoulet
>>7077377
My dad did the same shit. Ground turkey for years. In spaghetti, in chili, in casseroles.
>>7077355
For the longest time, I thought I hated steak. It turns out my parents just like them (gasp) well done. The first time I had a steak that was medium was fucking eye opening.
>>7077463
So what did they taste like with curry added? Great story!
>>7077474
awful, i dread eating there now
>>7077390
This. My mom is generally a great cook but when I was 8 or 9 she would make some sort of pork chop, rice and cream of mushroom casserole 3 times a week and the pork was so dry and overcooked that I thought I was eating cardboard. I've not even tried to make pork chops since due to PTSD from the experience
>Mum used to cook these potato smiles
>Cooked them with every single fucking meal
>No matter what she cooked she would include potato smiles
>Did this because she liked the way they looked
>Forced me and my brother to eat them
>every meal
>was OK at cooking apart from this but potato smiles ruined every meal
>curry with potato smiles
>chilli with potato smiles
>baked potato with potato smiles
>pasta with potato smiles
>not homemade smiles btw frozen
>once a week we had a 'smiley treat day', usually wednesday
>would be one big bowl of potato smiles
>but with a difference
>every few smiles would have 'treats'
>for example, one of them would have its eyes filled with chocolate, another would have its mouth filled with coleslaw
>the worst part was one of the smileys in the bowl would always have its mouth filled with soap
>whoever found it would be given the chance to eat it, and then if they finished the whole thing they would be allowed to swear for the rest of the night (washing someones mouth out with soap etc)
>we pretended to like it because she liked cooking it
>brother ate the soap smiley one time and felt sick so neither of us ever did it again
>can't smile now because of this
>>7077514
>>7077514
those smiles fucking suck
>>7077355
I was an adult living on my own before I tasted spicy chili. My mom always made it with tomato sauce, red beans, ground beef, and brown sugar.
>>7077355
>>7077592
Same here. My family were such pussies. From chili to Mexican dishes, everything has to be mild.
>>7077598
Mine too. Every time I cooked for my parents, the following things were verboten:
-chili powder
-paprika
-ginger
-too much garlic
-onion
-every kind of pepper down to bell
-curry powder
Like cooking in Auschwitz.
>>7077514
I don't believe you but was entertained nonetheless
>>7077490
i also have pork PTSD
i remember my mom cooking pork chops when i was younger and they weren't half bad, but when i was in my teens, she started making pork chili verde in the crock pot and we had a few times a month for years
i stopped eating it about a year before i moved out and i haven't eaten pork since
>>7077655
>>7077490
Mom made ours the same way and I didnt realize porkchops could be delicious and moist and flavorful until my manager cooked them for me.
I want to be friends with her for more reasons than just her cooking abilities, but damn is her food good.
When I lived with my mom she made pretty good meals. Then I moved in with my dad and it was spaghetti roll ups and dry, overcooked, pork chops forever.
>>7077623
>verboten
couldnt have said forbidden could ya frasier
>>7077514
I need to go get me a bag of Happy Fries. Those things are the shit.
>>7077623
>Trying to cook decently
You're ungermanifying yourself, you know.
>>7077355
Both my parents were quite conscious of not being good cookers, so I avoided that fate...
...but not one grandma pouring beet soup down our throats every single Sunday meal, or my other grandma trolling us with pan-fried creamy potatoes when we asked for French fries.
>>7077816
Beet soup is amazing when well done. I had a great grandmother from Silesia that made this Borscht variant with roasted and braised pork ribs.
I never bothered to learn how to make it until it was too late, now I can't replicate it.
>>7077915
>Beet soup is amazing when well done.
It is, and I love it. But let's say grandma loved her beet soup a bit too much and she thought it was miracle water or something like that, you couldn't even sneeze near her without giving you the stuff.
Her husband (my grandpa) was Silesian too, BTW.
>>7077463
It's like a metaphor
>>7077777
Witnessed
>>7077983
inb4 underrated post
>>7077355
spaghetti
and salmon
my mom added table spoons of sugar to both.
>>7077381
>no beans
>>7077355
>dad doesn't know how to make good chili
>makes chili when it gets cold
>winter is here
>its only a matter of time
he always make a giant ass pot of it too and its all there is to eat for like 3 days
My mom once made a vegetarian "chili lasagna" that she claimed needed to cook for a full week before it was finished.
Now, I never got to try it, because my entire family begged and pleaded with me not to eat it. According to my dad, it tasted like burnt ear wax and turned to dust in your mouth. I can tell you though, that the smell was appalling. Acrid, vaguely rubbery. It's something I've never smelled before. Closest I can say is burning tires, but far more unpleasant.
It's one of the only times my mom ever admitted she fucked up food, and shes one of those mediocre cooks that claims they're the hottest shit in the kitchen.
My mother used to boil beef mince (ground beef for Americans) and just serve it by itself. She also used to serve us plain boiled vegetables (which put me and my brothers off vegetables as children). She would always cook rice so it was either mushy or gritty and she would cook mushy couscous which made me hate both. Also well done chewy steaks every time.
She has gotten a lot better over the years but she still can't cook rice without a rice cooker.
Grandma used to make this shit all the time and made us eat it. One time, I ended up puking everywhere because it made me sick. I can't even look at pic related without gagging.
I fucking hate coconut now as well.
>>7078354
I've never had ambrosia salad but every time I see photos of it I feel uneasy.
When I was a kid growing up in Poland there's this dish called kisiel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissel) which is like hot jello but has more of a texture of runny snot. As a fat kid I would eat everything but could not eat this no matter what. In pre-school they would sometimes give this to us for lunch and those days I would come home hungry.
I think every dad thinks their chili is amazing
>I put a beer in it aahahhaa
>>7078456
I always put a beer in my chili. Usually some kind of dark porter, stout or bock.
>>7077514
that's fucking abuse m8
Any vegetable. I grew up thinking I hated greens and stuff. Turns out my dad just overcooks the shit out of them and then spices them in the worst fucking ways.
>>7077355
once when I was little my illiterate father put cumin on french toast instead of cinnamon.
I never forgave him and never ate anything he made again (though most of it was frozen shit or hamburgers)
I don't even like hamburgers. I'm the worst american ever.
>>7077514
>not homemade
how the fuck do you even do that at home f a m
>>7077355
Where I live, people usually eat swiss chard or spinach leaves cooked with potatoes and seasoned with olive oil and salt as a side dish. It's actually great when it's not overcooked, but one day dad (who was usually a good cook, him and mom took turns cooking) tried to make this and cooked plain swiss chard leaves in unsalted water, didn't salt them afterwards, didn't add olive oil and NO POTATOES. It was the blandest most disgusting fucking thing I've ever eaten. Like chewing grass that had already been chewed by a cow.
>>7077355
of course it tasted like shit
he put beans in it and made you bean stew, not chili
>>7077514
ok but fake story
>>7077355
Myt dad was always an aweful cook, but my mum was great, and use to cook often, but then the divorce happened and he insisted on cooking 24/7, not letting me try by myself untill i was 16, then he'd watch down my back giving the most retarded advice.
but thats not it, he tried to make me an omlette once, asked me what i wanted for dinner, said im not hungry, 30 minutes later he knocks on my door with an omlette that is literally green from the amount of olive oil her used, and he thought it was like meat and cooked through, one side literally black and charcoaled, while the otherside still raw, he asked me to eat it, i refused, i got grounded.
my goodness I hate his cooking.
I...I don't have a good example of this. My parents were always amazing cooks. The one time I didn't like something my mom made, was this curried chicken thing, and that only because she put pineapple in it and didn't tell me, so I bit into this chunk of curry-covered something, expecting chicken, and whoops it was pineapple the whole time. I hate pineapple.
>>7077355
My mom made "beef stroganoff" when I was a kid. It was essentially ground beef and undercooked onions and mushrooms in cream of mushroom / butter / sour cream sauce. Served over white rice.
She "learned how to cook" from a Midwestern baby boomer. I kinda can't hold it against her.
>>7078471
lmao what
my mother microwaves steak
My mom's cardinal sin his her spaghetti sauce. She overloads it and pretends that it's suppose to be good.
She uses:
tomatoes
canned tomatoes (yeah)
corn
Red peppers
green peppers
orange peppers
celery
basil leaves by the fist full
Oregano
garlic
Chili powder
Thai Chili sauce
Zucchini
Cucumber
What ever vegetables she can find she'll throw it in there.
Then she leaves it in a crock pot to cook for 7-8 hours, completely destroying any taste for the ground beef has. And to top it off, she uses way too fucking much oil in the pasta, eaving iot a soggy disgusting mess.
I have tried over and over again to get her to keep it simple but no luck. So one day not long ago I made a huge ass pot of a far more traditional sauce -three hours of hand cooking and sauteing for the family
She didn't even fucking bother to try it.
Can of stewed tomatoes, cup or two of macaroni, ground beef = goulash. There is something about the German descendants in the U.S. making this shit every couple of days. It's not fucking goulash.
>>7077358
Velveeta mac and cheese is literally shit
>I mash up craft singles for my Mac and cheese
My mother was a terrible cook who just made store bought stuff.
My dad was a great cook who started to experiment and use good ingredients.
>all these people with parents
orphan m-master race am i right, guys?
;_;
>>7079310
Someone had to have raised you, numbnuts.
>>7079323
Well, the wolves were probably better than my bipolar-schizophrenic shitbag father.
>>7079022
>canned tomatoes (yeah)
canned is the only way to get ripe tomatoes unless you happen to have your own greenhouse or live near a farmer's market.
but yeah, i feel u dalg
>>7079251
Holy fuck. How do you get a recipe this wrong? Every single ingredient is wrong. Holy fuck. People like this need to get slapped and taste real goulash.
>>7079251
Holy fuck I even forgot to post a photo of delicious goulash. In my country goulash is like the jesus of food, if you cooked an abomination like that you would get hanged here. Holy shit.
>>7077355
yeah my dad's chili sucks too. i joke that it's the world's greatest tomato soup.
>>7079251
That wouldn't even pass as Goulash in Germany and we have no idea how to make real Goulash.
Here it's beef or pork cut in 1 inch pieces stewed with paprika, peppers and lots of onions.
My mom's middle eastern and he a great cook. Her only flaw was making homemade pizza. The dough was always to thick
My parents were outstanding home cooks, my mother's silver dollar sourdough pancakes and biscuits, fried chicken and chicken Kiev were to die for and my Dad made Indonesian stirfry and goulash and roasted and smoked and grilled meats and soy ginger garlic chicken and so many other things.
my sister was a baker from heaven, real French baguettes and cakes and pies that looked like they belonged in a Paris window, crumpets and desserts for days
I was the problem. I only wanted Cheerios and waffles(which I made myself sitting at the table with a big pot of batter and ate and ate) and frozen Rondolets and my favorite snack was scali bread microwaved with margarine. I actually refused to eat butter I preferred margarine.
>I'm better now but wow was I a fat little shit
>>7077514
Man, your mom was fucking abusing you guys.
>Mom got home at ~5
>Put chili stuff together and cooked for about an hour
>"Chili's done"
I learned why I did not like chili as a kid. Literally my entire family did it like that, sometimes worse.
mom's pasta sauce she served us at least 3 times a week
>make roux
>add tetra pack of passata di pomodoro
>pinch of salt
>serve over organic whole grain spaghetti, pic related
>>7078201
>giant pot of chili
>gone in three days
must not be so bad. just sayin
>>7078743
My mom makes it with ground beef, cream of mushroom, cream of celery, water, and finishes it with sour cream. At least I think that's how she makes it.
Served over egg noodles.
It's actually really fucking good.
>>7080679
So... it's a paprikash?
>>7077723
>spaghetti roll ups
What's that?
>>7078277
how do you cook something for a full week?
Tuna noodle casserole. It's the only thing my mom made I found inedible. I'd dump a ton of ketchup on it. She is a pretty good cook otherwise.
>>7081142
eeeeeeEEEEEEEEE
My mom has been making the same 5 dishes for years. Its all bland and lazily cooked and she says I'm a bad son cause I don't like her cooking.
>>7081649
You're a bad son for not pretending to like her shitty cooking.
>>7081649
is she at least hot
>>7077355
macaroni soup. It is truly terrible. I'll even give a recipe.
>Boil water.
>Once boiling, add macaroni noodles and chicken bouillon cubes
>Add some Italian seasoning for some "taste".
>While that's cooking, grab a chicken breast or two and microwave until cooked.
>Once done, microwave a can of carrots and stewed tomatoes until done.
>By now, the macaroni should be done.
>They need to be tender.
>divide chicken per portion.
>Add microwaved vegetables.
>Serve in bowl with a piece of chicken.
my mother found a recipe for 'spicy prawns'. She altered the spice amounts from 1/2 tsp to 2 tbsp and lemon juice from 2 tsp to 2 WHOLE LEMONS.
I tried it once, the prawns were basically breaded in cumin and coriander and so fucking sour I had to strain not to screw my face up.
>>7081714
Sounds delicious and was probably only made often because of how simple it is. Appreciate your parents for spending time to take care of you.
>>7081142
My childhood treat were spaghetti witch ketchup and cheese. Still love it to this day even tho I can make awesome marinara sauce.
>>7081929
>Poverty babby detected
>>7080618
damn right. In my country, even in the shittiest pub in the middle of nowhere, you can't serve shitty goulash or everyone will beat the fuck out of you.
>czechfag reporting in
>>7077470
My childhood in a nutshell. Same with a lot of vegetables.
Chile relleno. I always hated them because of the weird texture of the cheese and egg
>>7078295
I remember visiting my parents and mum asked me if id wanted any zucchini with dinner. I said "yeah as long as it's not boiled." She didn't know you could cook it any other way than boiled.
Mum used to make 'macaroni and cheese', which was just just macaroni with cheddar grated on top.
We were a poor family.
Salmon. Overcooked every time. The few times she didn't overcook it, it was pretty great.
Stepdad would mix egg noodle, canned tuna and cream of mushroom together, sometimes w/ peas. I'd eat it like 5 days a week cause he made so much. He would just order in pizza for himself.
>>7086004
this shit is tasty
sorry you had a shit Dad
Never used the oven, said it took too long. A pound of cooked egg noodles and the other ingredients were just mixed together. A casserole version honestly seems ok.
Meat soup made from the worst parts of moose. All the meat was chewy pieces of rubber and the taste of game was overwhelming. Looked pretty much like pic related except the meat was worse.
>>7086004
I learned that recipe from my stepdad, I've take a few liberties with it. Honestly it's really hard to fuck something like that up, shit is gewd.
Sometimes I add green chile, others it's a liberal amount of pepper.
>>7081625
A slow-cooker, on low, nonstop.
>>7078295
>boiled ground beef
Sounds pretty disgusting mate
>>7077355
jesus christ, my dad made the exact same kind of chili. it was terrible.
>>7086679
what does "game" taste like?
is it like how small fish like anchovies have a rotten taste?
>>7087277
"earthy"
Done wrong it's like liver.
Done right it's like chalky steak (???)
It's really only good in it's own gravy wrapped in pastry.
>>7077355
none because my parents can actually cook fgt
>dad's idea of soup was throwing vegetables, raw meat, and water in a crockpot for two days with no seasoning
>thought for years soup was horrible
>dad's idea of meat was well done, every single cut every single time
>thought for years that I hated meat
>dad's idea of vegetables were either canned veg, or fresh boiled to mush
>thought for years that vegetables were horrible
>got into habit of skipping dinner to avoid having to eat disgusting food dad made
>still hate going to bed with a full stomach, eat heavy breakfast and light dinner or skip it entirely
>>7078354
Fuck you, that's delicious.
>>7078295
Heh, my dad could never cook rice and made me do it since age 12. All I did was one part rice two parts water. It's maybe the easiest thing ever to make.
My mom boiled all her food, especially chicken or vegetables.
>mfw one of my mom's signature dishes is a dish she's always called "barbecued beefsteak", which is ACTUALLY beef oven braised in a tomato based sauce.
It's really good, and one of my childhood comfort foods, but ever since I got old enough to realize it had nothing to do with barbecue, every time she mentions it, I cringe.
Jiffy muffin mixes. The blueberry ones with the fake, tasteless, hard blue bits of whatever, plastic or arsenic or whatever that shit is. He bought them because they were like 40 cents a pack.
That was the best part of the meal.
>>7081714
>microwave until cooked.
What?
People...do that? I thought /ck/ was joking.
>>7085503
Another thing. My dad went into a salmon kick and overcooked the shit out of it every time. Dry enough to need three glasses of water to down.
>>7086679
Bad cuts are for soup.
>>7087359
>Done right it's like chalky stea
I've never heard of someone saying that something done right tastes like chalk.
>>7077381
>no fucking chili in chili
pls b bait
My grandfather gave me a couple recipies over the phone recently when he heard I like cooking at home.
Recipie #1 was making 3 vats of boiled chicken, rice, and beans and mixing them all together.
Recipie #2, however...
"Alright grandson, get a Pyrex dish. Put a layer of onions at the base, and tomatoes. Then put a fish on top. Fill the dish up to about halfway up the fish. Okay now put it in the microwave for 5 minutes."
>>7077514
Shit i used to love these when i was a kid but LAUSD lunch ruined it for me back in 2009 they served it with this turkey burger that looked just like a normal hamburger and the fucking lunch ladies would mix them up probably for their own fucking entertainment took a bite of a smiley and a bite of what i thought was a hamburger not fucking raw tasting turkey burger threw up right there. In hindsight i should of never ate school lunch but i was a fat fuck then that ate my own lunch and the school lunch.
>>7087705
He's right you know. Liver is fairly terrible and it is definitely chalky when cooked properly my theory is that people that like it have a vitamin deficiency as children, like rickets or beriberi and they like the taste because their lizard brain knows that liver is saving them from a crippled life of pain but objectively, it's bad.
>>7087538
sounds pretty close to barbecue to me mate. the original narnecue was a wet roast covered, undergournd where the meat steamed and roasted until it fell aprat. The American version is usually dry smoked but it certainly doesn't have to be, my redneck cousins have been making a wet smoked BBQ for 40 years, it's delicious and not that far off a tomato braised pot roast like your mom made
>>7077389
I just don't get that shit. It's not hard at all to cook decent food. Even if you're lazy as fuck, it's not hard to make some beer-battered fish or chicken. Just pour oil in the bottom of the pan and coat the fish/chicken in some flour+egg+beer/ale/whatever then drop in.
Can we start making cooking a mandatory part of public education?
>>7077355
My girlfriend's parents are just the fucking worst cooks, and they get upset when we reject their invitations for dinner, regardless of our reasons.
Last time we were over:
>"We're making a roast!"
Okay, worst case, it'll be a flavorless slow-cooker stew. Icandeal.
>Arrive, see no crock pot
>fuck
>Smell the grill outside
>fuck
>"I also made a salad!"
>Salad = snickers, marshmellow whip, grapes.
>fuck
>Sit down to a meal of sliced, grilled pieces of beef shoulder and mashed marshmellow snickers.
>"Hm, this meat is a little tough! We'll have to grill it longer next time, I think."
>fuck.
I once got them to eat an extremely Americanized version of pad thai.
>"I didn't even know you could make sauce with peanuts!"
>>7079251
German descendant, my grandparents would make this constantly, except they used a bit of tomato paste as well. I love it
>"Dad is making scrambled eggs"
>Pours a shitton of olive oil into the pan
>Cooks it until hard and slightly burnt
>Tastes like an oil slick
t-thanks
>>7087550
No, anon. Bad cuts are for stew. Something that is cooked for long enough that the collagen breaks down and the meat tenderises. Leaner cuts are for soup, because noone wants a chunk of gristle in their moose chowder. Not even you.
>>7078736
Dude, I feel you. When my parents divorced my dad got mad at me because I didn't like his new girlfriend's 'Pear Chicken'. Bitch, you can't just throw some canned pears and chicken breast onto a plate with some soy sauce and then be mad at children for not forcing it down to protect your feelings.
>>7079320
Get out, John.
French canadian here.
My parents used to make Ragout de boulette each week
This is nearly the most disgusting dishes I ever ate during my lifetime. Even unto this day I still want to puke from looking at this meal.
>>7077355
stew. cubed meat, potatos and carrots, green beans and corn for some fucking reason but no onions... and... wait for it... a bottle of ketchup to "bring it all together". absolutelydisgusting.jpeg
>>7090430
What is it? It looks kind of like Swedish meatballs with potatoes and greens. I'd eat it.
>>7089511
Spooky
>>7077355
My parents' curry is the worst fucking curry on the planet and it's usually all we have to eat for the next 3 days because they make so much of it. Eugh. This is why I try my hardest to be the one who cooks in the house.
Also, my mother is the only vegetarian in the house and insists on using fake meat despite everyone else telling her how much it fucking sucks.
>>7077355
Lentil stew
Every fucking friday
It looked and tasted like puke
>>7087698
I had the same issue with my Mom and BBQ chicken breasts.
She'd slather them in cheap BBQ sauce, pop them on the grill, then roast them till they were charred and black. Decades later I learn you're supposed to pound chicken breasts out a little so they cook more evenly, and all the different correct ways to implement marinades, rubs, and sauces on grilled chicken.
Chilli.
Heins baked beans, tomato puree (shitloads of it) and way too much chilli powder.
>>7090838
What kinda fake meat?
>>7090887
Tofu, beans. Most of it's frozen and terrible and then she tries to act like no one can tell.
I'm ok with mushrooms, though. That's pretty good.
>>7090893
That's not even fake meat. Curried beans are great.
I don't know why you'd freeze beans or tofu though. That's pretty dumb.
Mum's a fucking awesome cook. Sure, she only really cooks the traditional dishes of our country, which fall into the "hearty but not spicy" category, so it gets a bit boring once you've gotten use to more varied fare. Still, no complaints.
Dad, on the other hand.
>gonna make "spaghetti bolognese"
>fucking ground pork because it's cheaper than beef
>cooks it to fuck for 3 hours in nothing but strained tomatoes
>no seasoning save for salt n peppa
>off brand sketti
>"t-thanks dad"
Also
>making meatballs
>puts frozen dill
literally puked that time.
I like dill, but just no.
>>7078743
My mother would make a stroganoff using that recipe. Except with minced garlic, along with the mushrooms and onions being cooked properly. It's also necessary to spice the (ground) beef in some way.
I liked it and still make it for myself sometimes. Only real change I've made is to add worcestershire sauce.
>>7088404
Holy fucking shit
>>7083820
I have no idea when or why "BOIL THE FUCK OUT OF ALL VEGETABLES UNTIL THEY TURN GRAY, THEN BOIL IT AGAIN" became the standard treatment for all vegetables, but I'm glad as hell that's dying out.
mom's a great cook, the only thing dad knows how to make is poached eggs and chinese porridge
the last time i ate his food was when he put bananas in overly watery savory porridge
imagine trying to down a bowl of salty water with little chunks of warm banana and a couple of grains of rice
>>7078743
My grandmother was too ashamed to buy wine to marinade a stroganoff with so she bought some cooking wine or something and used it instead.
I badly injured myself trying to eat it. Rubber is softer.
damn my mom and dad were both good cooks. my grandma would watch is when the rents went on vacation and she'd make disgusting hamburger helper. made me feel bad for my dad growing up.
>>7086908
m8
u wot
>>7077355
probably like 80% of their food besides italian (and we're not even italian so i dunno what's going on there)
My mom never follows the recipe straight for anything, she always substitutes stuff or takes stuff out or skips steps
it's annoying
oh, this girl I know brought over homemade lasagna her coworker's mom made for their work potluck.
>nuke it
>take a bite
>american cheese
>notice slice of american cheese on top just below the sauce too
had to throw it out. said tell her it was good....
arabic food is terrible
>>7081714
>microwave chicken
U WOT M8
>>7086015
When they served that at elementary school lunch we called it graveyard stew
>>7091490
>Hating on peas and rice
Grandma cooked it all the time. Kept my functioning through college when I was poor as hell.
>>7091490
arabic food is amazing
>>7077514
This story made me sad.
>>7092109
What are you, a terrorist?
>>7077355
Man am I glad my family can actually cook
My current GF and her family can't cook for shit however, they make these disgusting white trash meals by combining box recipe things
I mean one of the things she made me was Velveeta cheese shells combined with some kind of chili combined with can of mushroom soup
fuck it was awful, once I get her moved into my place I'll teach her right
>>7077422
Lemon pepper chicken is good and versatile though???
>>7078185
I put a pinch of sugar in my tomato sauce. not a fuckin tablespoon though
This thread makes me so happy since my mother actually did know how to cook and thanks to her, I can cook as well.
My dad only likes to make fun stuff like steaks, ice cream, pancakes and sauces, though.
>>7077355
My mum is an amazing cook. Always making fantastic Arabic and Persian food and stews. She isn't domestic at all, works full time, yet still manages to serve up gormeh sabzi, kofta, etc.
My dad on the other hand, hates seasonings, either because a. he thinks salt is bad for you 2. perhaps the medicine he takes obliterated his taste buds (?). So he doesn't salt or season anything at all. He's kind of proud of it too, like "I didn't add any spice, add some if you want" and his preferred method of cooking is boiling (chicken, broccoli, carrots, etc) except the occasional times he deep fries french fries.
They're divorced and whenever I've stayed with my dad growing up, I lose about 10 lbs (srs) from the bland boiled food. It's like going to fat camp srsly because you have no choice but to eat super healthy stuff, and then you have no appetite from eating it because it's so bland and unappealing. The one flavor he likes is garlic, and that's thrown in whenever it makes sense. Tried some hummus he made from scratch recently, couldn't get the garlic taste out of my mouth for the next 24 hrs.
>>7092109
>Wine
Yeah, that's totally arabic
>>7092256
>what are Christian arabs? :^)
>>7077422
you should try to pound that breast well with one of these tenderizer hammers. changes the whole game.
>>7079310
> Mom has Lupus, meningitis and had a stroke
> ends up in coma for some months, beeing in wheel chair and having serious brain damage
> Dad never cooked before, literally had to flush down his first few tries
> He leaves cooking to my brother and me
> Brother gave up after a few tries
> I'm cooking for my family when I'm only 12yo
I feel you
>>7092310
forgot to say that my dad started to hide from the family issues by working from 6am to 8pm and wouldn't do shit in the house besides giving money for foods shopping
>>7092262
>>what are Christian arabs? :^)
migrants?
>>7092365
not even the guy you were talking to, but you're a retard
>>7092310
Shut up Quinn
>>7092473
You got a good recipe for goulash, or porkolt?
>>7078699
2/10
>>7092365
Christians have been in the middle east longer than muslims m8. There are Christian arabic communities continually for centuries.
>>7077769
then his nazi allegory would go out the window
>>7092533
naturally, what kind of a Hun would I be otherwise?
>>7093051
Mind posting it?
Just about anything my Dad ever made. He thinks he's a great cook or something but every thing he make is so bland and boring.
My mom had a weird child hood with a mother that didn't want to be one so she really was never taught how to cook , just picked it up little by little while I was growing up. I always love that kind of cooking better, just working with what you got and rolling with it.
>>7092365
you're stupid as hell desu
>>7093082
In English? omg...
which one do you want, pörkölt or goulash?
The only thing my mother ever made that I found truly disgusting was some kind of chicken with American curry powder sprinkled on top.
One thing she did badly was bacon. She always over cooked except for the rare time she baked it in the oven.
>>7093082
Here are the ingredients for goulash soup:
60 ounces of beef leg
2 medium carrots pc
2 medium turnips pieces
0.5 pieces of celery
30 ounces potatoes
2-3 medium pieces of paradise
2-3 medium pieces of pepper
1 medium piece pointed pepper
2-3 large onions
4-5 tsp paprika (the more the better)
salt
pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon seasoning
2-3 dl red wine
1.5 s 30 ounces bacon or lard (or oil 3 tbsp)
2 liters of water
The real secret, actually there are two. First one, you use lard or bacon (the one without any meaty parts) instead of oil, the difference is significant, this isn't supposed to be /fit/ food anyway. The second, if you really want the real thing, you cook it open-air, over camp-fire. The smokey flavour it adds to it really makes a world of difference.
>>7077355
My dad is a really good cook. He can perfectly plan and execute complicated meals comprised of unusual dishes (often his own recipes)
Here's the problem: he is really lazy. He gets just as excited making some cheap pre-cooked meal he found on special offer as he does making a feast. 9 times out of 10 he'll serve up some reduced pie or out-of-date garlic bread.
I dunno if the fact he can cook but chooses not to is better or worse than if he was simply terrible
>>7085292
Aaaaaw shit, those look good.
Argie here. My parents both work in the food industry and are great fucking cooks. Only thing my parents do wrong is "steak". My dad's whole primal cuts of meat on a grill come out fucking beautifully, especially because he'll make sure to get a piece that's really thick on one side so I can get my medium-rare.
"Steak" however is a zero-marbling cut of meat sliced half-centimeter thin and cooked for 30 minutes in the oven on an oiled baking sheet until completely grey. Honestly, it's not THAT bad, and the meat is such good quality sometimes that it ain't even hard to chew, but it's definitely the one thing I'd consider they do terribly.
>>7077811
I'm 50% Belgian/French, 25% Irish, and 25% German. So I can live with that.
>>7090430
My grandma's ragout is the shit, with that nice browned flour mmmm
>>7077355
My parents were shit at cooking but my grandparents,that shit was savage
>grandmas beef stew
>granddads family sauce recipe from Italy
>sauce is so fucking tasty you can eat it by itself
>>7079251
it's called "American goulash" and it's an actual thing that is documented and still made.
>>7093647
What do you mean by "paradise"?
Not my parents, but my brother makes exactly one kind of food: Stir fry.
>>7077376
Made this the other day, tasted delicious.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Slow-Cooker-Pumpkin-Turkey-Chili/Detail.aspx?evt19=1
>>7092262
Dead
>>7079022
dude, i feel you.
my dad would load his sauce up with ground beef, those bags of frozen stir fry veggies, and fucking sugar.
as i got older i started doing more of the family cooking - every time w/o fail he'd take my arrabbiata sauce and load it up with sugar & whatever meat was in the fridge. on more than one occasion i saw him melt a kraft single over his pasta.
which is fucking absurd to me bc his mother is the best chef in the family
