I haven't pooped in a week and have had regular vegetables fiber and liquids. I want to get moving and heard coffee can help. But I never drink coffee and don't know if I need to drink it black for this to happen our can I get away with something with lots of sugar and milk because I'm a baby?
tldr; what type of coffee makes you poop?
>>7077740
>I haven't pooped in a week
Take a laxative, you dumb nigger. Technology exists for a reason.
Caramel Frapuccino
It doesn't matter if you add things to the coffee. Most stimulants work, tobacco, cocaine, ex lax.
If you really haven't shit in a week you might have a blockage though. If you aren't exaggerating I would see a doctor.
are you the opium addict? or maybe you eat a lot of white rice? stop doing that.
>>7077740
Coffee enema. just black coffee, do not add sugar as it could cause hyperglycaemia. if it has actually been 7 days I would do the enema and then make an appointment with a doctor in case it doesnt work.
are you on heroin?
No I think I might have IBS
Also coffee costs less than a box of laxatives
well done with ketchup
>>7077777
Wa la!!!!!!!!!!!
A
L
A
>>7077777
Quints for truth
Stiulants in general will always get things moving but if you become very caffiene tolerant like me you may want to look too laxatives that would work for you. I take some every so often and it makes life much easier. Though be prepared when you take some for the first time and it's one your body plays well with because it's going to feel weird and you're gonna shit faster and more than you ever have before in your life.
>>7077776
If you actually have IBS, adding caffeine when you're not a coffee drinker is probably one of the worst things you can do.
>>7077785
Any brand/type you recommend?
>>7077776
Do you eat a lot of foods that really stuff you up and digest slower when there's a lot of it in you like rice/bread/pasta ect-? And/or eat a lot at once on top of it? Too much heavy meat and dairy could also bring along issues like that. Even sitting down and not moving but eating a lot could slow things down.
Just manage your intake better and don't eat overly filling thing after overly filling thing in a short time span and see if it gets better. If not take it from there what you think you should do about it. You know your body better than any of us.
>>7077806
I use Swiss Kriss
>>7077775
>
>>7077806
drip for sure. also might i add that paying for laxatives once may be better than paying twice for coffee and laxatives but then again you may also be killing 2 birds with one stone if you end up enjoying the coffee.
>>7077806
Store brand Miralax.
>>7077838
With all my laxatives and vitamins I always buy online and save buy getting multiple bottles I'll have for a long time. In the store never mind the fact that they don't always have what I need it's also much more expensive around here even with shipping considered.
But I'm always willing to pay a bit more to be more functional and feel better in the long run. I'd rather have less money and be well than be sick and feel like shit with a bigger wallet.
>>7077777
gg desu senpai
>>7077777
dubs speak the truth
>>7077740
>I haven't pooped in a week
How is this physically possible. For me, it isn't. No way it could fit. I'd probably die, literally. Have you eaten like 2 meals in this "week" span? God damn.
Are you sure you just don't have poop anxiey, OP? I used to have it when I was a kid.
If you work out a lot, it could be that your body is just operating at maximum efficiency.
Or maybe you really AREN'T getting enough fiber.
>>7077740
apple + black coffee
try holding that shit in
>>7077777
_K
L E L
_K
>>7077768
shiet i eat 650g of cooked riced a day, wtf else do i eat to hit my carbs? dont say oats i already have them
>>7077788
Equally though IBS is not known for its power to prevent people shitting
The exact opposite is a more typical occurance
>>7077748
you do realize if op did that it would be like shitting a brick immediately followed by liquid hell
>>7082223
In other words, an effective solution to OP's problem.
>>7080239
how does one get that crema
>>7077740
>I haven't pooped in a week
>pooped
what are you, like 5?
>>7082830
Dial in your espresso a lot.
Anyone else get stomach aches from coffee? Not even sure what triggers it because it doesn't happen every time. It happens very fast after drinking. I have no idea what is wrong with me, I've had it happen daily after eating too.
>>7082860
Caring about how childish words like "poop", "belly", etc. sound is something I did when I was 15.
>>7082860
What is he supposed to say?
>haven't defacated in a week
>haven't had a bowel movement in a week
>haven't expelled feces from my rear end in a week
>>7085996
Haven't laid eggs in a week
>>7085996
it's a start
babies poop
people shit
if not, then why do bathrooms have doors with locks, fans, air fresheners, etc.?
time to grow the fuck up
>>7086021
>people shit
Hey, easy there pal. This is a safe for work board.
>>7085992
Are you drinking it black? If so, it could be gallstones.
>>7082223
And what exactly are you thinking a less potent colon stimulant will do to differently?
That week old, dry, tar baby nigger black, fist thick, foot and a half foot long clog in his colon isn't going to magically shatter into manageable pieces just because he drank a bit of coffee instead of a 100% effective laxative.
If you're really worried about keeping OP from experiencing the PTSD triggering horror of ripping his o-ring and spouting a fountain of assblood, suggest he take an enema instead of reinforcing his ridiculous quest to use coffee to poop.
>>7086030
Quick google says it's localized pain, but mine is more generalized and probably issues with the digestive system (gurgling)
But I wouldn't normally expect it to start aching in a matter of minutes if it were a digestive issue.
>>7085993
>belly
i fuckin hate this word it is the worst
