Post about your local comms, gulls.
Please try to keep vendettas out of the thread and contained within your comm.
My comm is really laid back and chill and I love it for that, but sometimes I just want to bitch about it or people in it on here, but I don't because I don't want to be that person that starts shit. I wonder if anyone else in my comm feels the same.
>post about your local comms
>except don't talk about your comm
How does your comm deal with sissies? My comm is torn in half over a "brolita" even though several members have shown proof to mods that they are wearing lolita as a fetish. One mod is calling us transphobic and is threatening to give bans.
>>8961493
>several members have shown proof to mods that they are wearing lolita as a fetish
>One mod is calling us transphobic
What the hell? I honestly don't know what to say, that's ridiculous. This is far from helpful but damn, anon, you have my sympathy.
>>8961493
>Because sissies are trans, clearly.
So sorry, anon.
>>8961493
> again some fgt ruining lolita for males
Everytime I see this, I feel like it might be better for me to stay a lonebrolita in the future.
Once a fetish idiot went nuts in a comm, comm members will just wait for the moment to say "AHA! I knew it, you are just using Lolita for fetish shit too, GTFO!" and hold their guns against me.
For those with brolita experience in your own com: Were there any decent brolitas at all in your local comm that didn't turn out to be creeps? How do you think is the local ratio between decent brolita vs. creeps?
>>8961520
dropped this
*I'm not a member of any comm, but seeing shit like that all over FB is worrying me, if I will get accepted at all.
>>8961520
There is a right way and a wrong way.
I've noticed that the more concern and attention brolitas pay to the cohesiveness of thier coordinates, the less likely they are to be mistaken for a sissy.
The other aspect is attitude. Don't be apologetic about being in an effeminate fashion. Give less fucks than the brandwhores. Remember, part of the point of being a sissy is getting off I humiliation.
>>8961520
Be apart of the Comm. You can still be a lone lolita and be apart of the Comm. If you're that afraid, don't go to meetups. Instead talk about purchases and be well versed with recent brand releases. Ask for coord help if you need it. Guys can wear JSKs. Just ask Mana.
If you go to meetups, more than likely lolitas will talk about current Anime series and their waifus/husbandos. They'll also talk about video games, their plushies, makeup, other fandoms, and relationships (I try not talk about that). Listen and contribute to conversations.
>>8961493
>One mod is calling us transphobic
ugh I hate this attitude! one of my friends, who is a passing trans woman, had the opposite experience where she was kicked out of her comm for being a "sissy".
no one even cared that she was trans until some bitch decided to "expose" her by whining about it to the mods of their comm.
nothing says "i'm in this for fetish purposes" like having dysphoria since you were 5 and spending thousands and thousands of dollars on hormones, medical procedures, vocal training, makeup, and a whole new wardrobe.
>>8961493
not OP but I think OP put that there because a good chunk of the last thread was members of the SF comm shitting on a single member.
>>8961577
what the fuck i hope she doesn't get picked. i applied to be a jani too.
>>8961493
Take your opposition to the gallows
>>8961577
As a janitor won't she have some kind of probation period where she'll be monitored?
My comm is pretty small and I love everyone to death. Except this one girl that I use to be friends with or still friends with idk but I haven't spoken with her in a while. Don't think she's a good friend after what she's been doing.
She once confessed to me that she purposely grabs pics of girls from the comm and posts them up in the ita thread just to start shit. She'll try everything to start up drama and its so sad. She needs it as if her life depended on it.
It really hurt when she told me this and it hurt worse after hearing some of the stuff she would say behind my back. I use to protect and support this girl as if she was like a sister to me. Really believed she deserved better. Kinda sucks having someone you really care about stab you in the back like that. Feelsbadman.jpg
But the kicker is the fact she isn't even a lolita. She just lurks around and has never been to a single meet up.
>>8961577
That drama that would come from that would implode cgl
>>8961864
You need to dump trainwreck like the sack of shit she is.
>>8961924
I really should, friends like that really aren't worth keeping. Its a shame because she was never this bad until she started hanging out with some cosplay slut
>>8961520
Not gonna be all "OMFG! GET OUT!" but you might get better answers from the brolita thread: >>8958158
That said, my comm has had good and bad brolitas. We had a sissy who was trying to groom minors in FB PMs, a dude who thought bloomers were pants, and several perfectly functional brolitas who weren't creeps.
Your comm may or may not be wary of you depending on their history. My comm is pretty forgiving, so even after the first two brolitas made a name for themselves, the sane brolitas were still given a fair shot.
In general, if you show a willingness to "fit" like anybody else, you'll be fine. We've had more issues with having to kick girls out for being creepy stalkers or incapable of playing nice, to be honest.
>>8961525
Eventhough I'm still at the very start, I try my best to not look like crap. The attitude thing might be something I need to work on, because not giving any fucks while you get watched by a whole group sure isn't easy eventhough it might be easier with complete strangers. Guess I just need to mimic that wearing lolita is the most normal thing to me, if I understand you correctly.
>>8961545
I am fairly used to be alone, but missing someone to talk and share things about something you like sure feels bad. And being on the more in general silent side, it makes things probably even harder.
For the second part, that sounds somewhat similar to the anime meetup I attend every few months (subtracting the plushie/make-up). No obnoxious weebs, just a bunch of seemingly normal people talking about animu/mangos while doing different harmless activities.
Relationships are no topic for me since I am mostly a semi NEET in my spare time. Nevertheless I am not thirsty. So I got that going for me. All I want to enjoy is being cute every once in a while.
Maybe my views on that topic are just distorted by the horror stories that are accumulated in this board, but having bad experience with people in my earlier years in school made me kind of anxious when it comes to meet new people from a different circle.
>>8962178
>Still at the very start
I'm not sure what this means.
Do you have decent makeup skills, wig and a full lolita coord yet? Have you worn them in public at all?
If not at least to this point, you are not really ready for comm meet up yet so discussion here is premature. Brolita thread.
Plus you already sound more than a bit defensive.
The first thing I look for in fetish vs brolita are the ones who just want to discuss it to death, fantasizing about becoming a brolita when they don't have coord, wig, have not practiced any makeup at all. That's ok to do, just not in lolita comms or boards. That is a form of fetishizing the fashion as well.
>>8961488
How about you get a friend anon? I love my comm and most of them are pretty chill, except a few dramamongerers i avoid, but when even the people who are chill act dumb or we have an annoying noob i just bitch with my friends in the comm, get it iff my chest, and move on. I feel better, and i dont rock the boat. Everybody wins.
>>8962202
I really want to know what that bitch did to deserve this much hate unless you're that anon samefagging in an attempt to spread your vendetta.
>>8962178
Look Anon, you seem like either you are young, unsure about your self our a combination of both, two things.
One, 'fake it til you make it' is my personal motto, and it works. Other people's perception of you becomes your reality, because after you build a rep, you learn to live up to it or disappoint everyone around you.
Two, for all social situations, there is a PURPOSE, a reason driving interaction, especially with stangers. Make your personal drive not even about other people, make it about yourself, or about tbe location, the food, whatever. Most people expect others to be selfish, but easy way to avoid the creep factor entirely is making your focus easy to decipher and benign.
There is a girl in my comm whose behavior I abhor, but for some reason many of the other lolitas tolerate. I wan't to post here so bad, because what she does is just so tacky but I don't want to be a huge bitch, and then get found out, and be in the middle of drama. Does anyone have people like that? How do you deal besides just being polite and ignoring it? I just so badly want to know if anyone else find its awful as well but don't want to be a gossiping bitch who talks about people behind their backs...
>>8962226
Lol all you have to do is say what country/state your from and see if anybody replies with a guess. If they guess right, you know you're not the only one who dislikes her.
>all my comm's meets are on Saturdays
>this isn't so bad
>recently someone has taken to bitching about how there are never meets during the week because they work weekends
>the solution to this is as simple as making your own meet with blackjack and hookers etc
>but she's the only girl that works weekends, everyone else either has no job (and can't attend shit because they're tied to public transport and/or carpools) or has a stable full-time job
>she has apparently never heard of asking for time off
I dunno, it's not even that major, but I'm sure every comm has a girl like this?
>>8962391
Yeah, we have a girl who always wants meets to be moved to Saturdays instead of Sundays due to religious beliefs, but never shows up at meets that are planned on Saturday to begin with...
Some people just like to complain, I guess?
>>8962391
plenty of girls in my comm work on weekends and ask for days off if a meet is planned ahead enough...like wtf. has anyone told her to just do that? or does she complain about that being an issue too?
>>8962391
Yep, or people who can't come Sunday due to church and family or who work and aren't off then, etc., etc. you'll never please everyone.
I try to plan a meet at the best time for myself to hostess and at a time when the most people can attend. I tell anyone who says any of the above that they should plan another meet at a time best for them.
>>8962391
There's probably a number of Jewish lolitas who can't go to a meetup on Saturday since it's Shabbat. Though I can't think of any from the Orthodox or Conservative denominations.
>>8961520
Every brolita who has ever joined my local comm turned out to be a fetishist, except for the one transman who mostly wears ouji anyway. They weren't even particularly subtle about it, either. I'm talking sissy FB groups, reblogging community group pictures with fetish tags, asking underage girls about their underwear, etc. Every single one. We never once had a brolita who wasn't a creep.
Yet somehow my local comm is still super open to guys who exhibit "off" behavior. I'm not saying we should ban all dudes from the get-go but can we at least be as critical of men trying to join the comm as we are of random female itas? If a girl dresses like crap we make fun of her behind their back but if a guy shows up wearing 'vintage' granny dresses and his mother's lipstick we have to coddle him or else be accused of bigotry. Fuck this shit.
>>8961520
My boyfriend wears lolita and goes to meets with me and he seems to be accepted well by the comm. Just show that you actually like lolita and don't be creepy. He browses cgl as much as I do and can hold an actual conversation about lolita. I think it also helps that he has me with him and he is a perfectionist brandwhore who always has really nice coords. The faggot actually has more brand than me.
what's up with portland comm being dead?
>>8961577
stop spreading lies like this
>>8963445
Ditto on this. And it's tiresome and drama-filled when we have had to kick them after yet still it continues. I have no patience for it and just keep my distance. I'm not discriminating either, fetish-oriented females should keep it out of the comm too.
>>8963538
how do you know it's not true?
>>8963536
I dunno about dead but apparently someone took a bunch of the photos from the Chinese Garden meet on Sunday and posted them on here? God fucking bless whoever did it, the girls that went to it probably all needed a reality check since they immediately started crying and bitching about meanies on the big bad 4chan. I've been scouring the board all morning and I have yet to find them, so either the girl was lying or the janitor cleaned 'em up for some reason.
>>8963633
Please repost for juicy drama
>>8963633
One of the photos is in the ita thread; I haven't seen any others
>>8963633
>caring about peoples opinions on the internet
I feel like I say this all the time but stop
>>8961493
How do you know if someone is wearing Lolita as a fetish? Does the person also wear fishnet stockings and hike up his/her dresses?
>>8963633
It was one picture with no caption posted in the ita thread. I'm not sure why they were boohooing about it so hard. The girl look like a mess too.
>>8961525
I didn't take to sissy because of getting off or humiliation. I don't even like those attitudes. Sissy was how this type of dress-up was named to me before I discovered "Lolita."
>>8963536
Are you in the right comm? There are posts almost every day.
>>8962148
SF is not forgiving.
>>8965649
Then you dress disgustingly but feel no shame? Gtfo.
>>8965643
Not the anon you were asking but the brolita I was in started talking fetishy about corsetry to me. If it's their fetish and they are dressing up then they are practicing the fetish in the comm and all present, often in public. And with underage girls in the same comm that kind of talk and behavior is just inappropriate. No matter who does it.
I don't believe in kink shaming but what everyone seems to forget is consent. A comm doesn't consent to being part of your sexual fetish if it's dressing Lolita so you are unfortunately out of place there with that fetish.
>>8965664
*brolita in the comm I was in.
sorry, my typing is shit tonight.
>>8965664
If someone is practicing their kink in a public or semi-public gathering without letting people know what they're doing, they're basically making everyone present an unwilling participant in their sex act.
Shame the fuck outta that kink.
>>8965649
There are different kinds of sissys and most that I have met like tacky frills and exaggerated feminine traits too much to ever really become good brolitas so I've never had to deal with turning one away until recently. A male friend who is pretty masculine really wants to attempt to become a passable lolita. He's pretty dark skinned and also pretty hairy and masculine. He started out liking sissy stuff but has now sort of been following me online and asking questions to learn. I remain skeptical he will ever make a good brolita and because he is a sissy, he gets off on my disapoval and harshness so it's kind of annoying and I've put him on ignore until he can reign himself back in. I do not want a D/s relationship with him but he is so needy he oversteps the friendship sometimes and I'm going to have to drop him for good.
This is why I don't think fetish + comm mixes, if wearing Lolita is your sexual fetish and you are dressed and out in it, you'll be in your fetish state of mind, how could it be otherwise? So nope, no one who connects Lolita to their fetish really has a place in a public comm without consent of everyone present. Acting out fetish behavior in others' presence without their consent is a form of using people.
>>8965672
I think it's necessary to stop it cold and kick them immediately and straightforwardly tell the comm why afterwards. I don't think it's wise to shame for several reasons because if you catch it quick, firstly no harm is don't and if you do it without shame or malice, the offending person hopefully has no reason to want to retaliate against anyone. Shaming is not productive and could possibly be dangerous to members. I'm not for it.
>>8965653
All I want to know is how SF could have so much drama in one comm. The sissies I can understand but everything else is like can't y'all untwist your bloomers?
>>8966235
Lack of leadership in the Comm. Admins know to nip the bud when drama occurs. Remember how long it took to finally ban someone?
There's also Elerronyar. When she was in the Chicago Comm, her and Ellejay made the Comm unbearable.
The fuck?
>>8967562
there's been worse posted in the SF comm group... there was one girl who kept begging people for dresses, job opportunities, and places to stay. she expected them all for free.
>>8966266
> Chicago fag detected
Elerronyar doesn't participate in the comm anymore because she's too busy with other things. She never stirred up any drama while she was in it so keep your outdated bs to yourself.
>>8967562
Does this person seriously not have any other friends they could ask? What the hell?
>>8967562
>(excessively)
Hmm somehow I'm having trouble believing that
>>8967562
if they're getting kicked out or in an abusive situation i can sympathize, but there are much better places to look for temporary housing
>>8967562
>in the ohio comm
Damn, Im kind of sad I missed this- I actually am looking for a room mate and a fellow comm member woulda been cool.
>>8968765
Don't be sad. This person sounds like they'd be a total drain on your resources. They "can" get a job to help with bills. They "can" help with chores.
These are basic requirements for living somewhere as an adult. Not bonus add-ons.
>SF please stop
>Probably the biggest comm in the US
>>8966235
There's a ton of people in the comm so there's bound to be a handful of people who are habitual drama-causers and try to stir up shit with other members
>>8968774
Yeah anyone who thinks that they need to get a stable job after moving out of their parents rather than before is an idiot and has no idea how to adult.
>>8968788
Yeah, pretty much.
I can understand circumstances where abuse is involved and you need to get out RIGHT THIS MINUTE, but in those instances, you shouldn't be going to your lolita community for help. You should be going to the police, a youth/women's shelter, or similar.
>>8967562
How will they pay til they get a job?
Fa/tg/uy here, my girlfriend is about to get into the SF Comm... Should I be worried?
does anyone have girls in their comm who are desperate for either efame or popularity within the comm?
there are a few girls in my comm who are like this and it just makes me sad that they make this fun hobby into a popularity contest. I wish they would just be themselves, enjoy the fashion, and make friends naturally rather then try to be the best
>>8968976
No, drama is usually behind the scenes and easily avoidable. What happened last thread was "I know someone who posts mean tweets about people", which affects absolutely nobody unless you let it.
>>8969752
I imagine there are people like this in every comm to an extent, but I definitely agree with you. It makes me sort of sad, too, that something I care a lot about is just seen as a way to be cool to others. Oh well.
>>8969752
yeah, there's one girl in my comm who name-drops every popular print she buys at every chance she gets and it's obviously just to remind people that she has x print. it's obnoxious.
I wish people would be themselves too but for some reason lolita and cosplay draw people who are thirsty for popularity
>>8969752
Oh yeah. And then there are people who just plain think they're too good for everyone--but still do attention grabbing things/brag. There's someone who posted a pretty rude status after dropping our comm, insisting that she was "just done" with lolita comms in general. This person even talked tons of shit about a con that she was in the fashion show for. Oh, and she constantly dangles her rare prints with "tentative WTS posts" and never sells lol.
Obviously I'm just being salty because she isn't technically in our comm anymore... But I saw her at a local con and just angry cringed so hard. Why be like that?
>>8968976
She'll be ok unless she's openly bitchy or gets involved in drama. SF is pretty friendly unless you're unfriendly first.
>>8969769
A girl in my comm does this, too. She just recently bought a pretty sought-after dress and won't shut up about it. I don't know if she's trying to brag or is just excited but it seems like the former.
>>8961520
wear make up, and it has to be GOOD make up. Wear a good wig. Make sure your coord is cohesive. A classic coord is the least fetishy so hopefully you like that. Going to OTT sweet or oldschool is probably the most fetishy.
>comm filling up with poorfags and itas and a loud famewhore
how to fix
>>8969864
Gonna be honest, SF comm is really cliquey and divided. I've only been to a few meets but most if not all lolitas have been incredibly superficial
>25+ crew who have real jobs and live away from their parents. organizes expensive meets and 21+ only for alcohol
>18-22, still in community college and living with their parents
>OTT/hime lifestylers who pretend to be perfect princesses
>jane marple fags who flaunt how much JM they purchase at retail
>itas and fatty-chans. usually lumped together and wear brands other than AP and BtSSB
I guess everyone is nice on the surface but there's a lot of cattybehavior behind the scenes
>>8968976
Nah, if she's low-drama she'll probably gravitate towards and make friends with other low-drama people. I'm in that comm and I love it, meets are fun and I've met a lot of cool people. It's easy enough to avoid the stupid shit since the group is so big.
>>8970130
Idk who you've been hanging around anon, but I've only had positive experiences with the SF comm. I'll hear about drama second hand on occasion but I really enjoy hanging out with them.
Maybe you're bad at making friends?
>>8969799
Please don't be in Canada. I recently bought my grail dress and talked about it at two meets. I was talking about it with close friends because they recently bought their grails too but I realize it might seem obnoxious to some people.
I think getting new dresses puts me in way too excited of a mood.
>>8970130
Tim is that you
>>8970124
You can't. You just have to keep your head down, wait for them to outgrow their respective phases (or get bored and quit), and emerge when the time is right.
>>8970162
Nope not Canada. I'm fine with people talking about their recent purchases, but the girl I'm referring to just brings it up out of nowhere. You're probably fine anon!
>>8970130
Well, neither of us like BtSSB or AP, so dunno how well that'll go over. She's pretty proud of the work she's done for her wardrobe. We went to the Baby store there, and I have to say I wasn't impressed.
>>8970153
Sounds good et all
>>8970161
Here's to hoping she rolls more with your crew.
I mainly just go to SF to hang in SoMa and drink. Nihon Whiskey Lounge is heaven on earth. I'll prolly end up over there instead of tagging along. Don't wanna be the weird tagalong boyfriend.
>>8968976
If you're the faggot who jumped the line at the LP release: yes, and also fuck you.
>>8970195
Vendetta-chan, stop, it's just getting embarrassing at this point. If you were actually a part of the comm you'd know which of these descriptions applies to Tim.
>>8970195
Has Tim even been to a gathering with any of these groups? People have posted more times than she's actually gone to meets.
Hey Gulls,
Next year I'm looking to move to the UK for about 6-12 months. I'd like to have a comm to visit, but how are the London area communities about this sort of thing? I'd probably just bring one or two JSKs and blouses, but no petti, so I'd try to find a shop locally that sells (even shitty) petticoats.
I just love lolita gatherings, but I don't want to worry too much about multiple coords. Is the comm okay with that?
>>8971039
enjoy paying £1000 a month for one room in london lol
>>8970536
Wait what? Deets please. I haven't heard this story yet.
>>8970833
This. Honestly it's really annoying hearing people be like "ew Tim is part of SF. fuck Tim!" when she's not very active in the comm in the first place and she's pretty chill at meets.
Besides, SF has far worse people/drama like little kids who complain about not having money, AY the girl who always begs people for free dresses, the fact that AP still hasn't banned MB and his creep friends...
>>8971039
London is really chill, and has meets about once a month, but people are usually happy to meet up on the weekend if you suggest a cafe. The regular crowd dress really well, but they're also friendly and relaxed, so definitely go for it!
>>8971299
Ariella has been banned from the comm so that's resolved itself. I had no idea that MB was still wearing lolita? It's not like he could even afford AP to begin with and once he was kicked out of the comm I assumed that he lost interest in it since he was using it as a kink. Lynda's super shitty for not banning creeps and even being friends with them (Phil) but I don't think we need to worry about MB anymore.
>>8971639
Did Ariella even show up at meets? She always seemed to be like an elusive myth that I never saw outside of the FB group.
>>8971703
Yeah, she was at a few monthly meets + tea parties, dickens fair, etc.
I had no idea who she was until much later. She didn't say a word to anyone.
(right)
>>8971755
I just noticed Natasha is a bit heavier than I thought. I only ran into her in person briefly a few months ago.
She seemed nice. I hear she was a porn star. I am curious where the rumor originated though.
>>8971816
I'm pretty sure you are mistaking people saying her heavy makeup makes her look like a porn star to her being one.
>>8971119
I'm rooming with a friend in northern London area probably, and rental sites say the price is about £500 a month between two people. So, salt-chan, sorry you can't move to England like the inner Sherlock fan you are, but I can :^)
>>8972219
I live in London you spaz.
>>8972219
£500 X 2 is £1000 you idiot. Anon was assuming you were going to room alone, so technically they're still right.
>>8972265
No, I was talking about £500 total, you idiot. It's £250 each. So technically, they're still wrong.
>what is 500 between two people
>what is reading comprehension
>>8972764
Honestly you sound really abrasive. I'll remember the details you've posted here so I know to avoid you at meets.
I feel so sad about my comm. I feel like it's devolved from a fantastic, well dressed comm to an ita fest. I've tried so hard, some of us keep trying to help newbies, and we still have people turning up in ratty shoes and mismatched bodyline. It's the only comm short of a plane journey so I can't just hop to a new one. I just don't know what to do. I feel like we have more itas than good Lolitas and I'm afraid that actual Lolitas would be put off joining by it, thus making the comm even worse.
I just feel like it's crumbling before my very eyes.
>>8966266
lol no anon
Are you even in the comm, currently?
>>8967573
Yup, and she's not in the comm anymore
>>8970130
Did you miss a JM release anon?
>>8972828
I'm in a similar situation. I left my comm a while ago, so I don't really get a day, but I spent years building it up and getting to know as many people as I could.
I look at meetup photos now, and all I see are fat strangers wearing replicas.
I'm mildly salty.
>>8973250
>*I don't really get a say.
Autocorrect why
>>8973250
Could be the same comm, you sound like someone I know. It just always feels like a slap in the face when going through the process of planning meetups only to have people show up in stretched-out bodyline or not show up at all. I'm not going to give up on it, but when it comes to improving it, I'm at a loss.
>>8970536
Nope, not me, you should prolly reduce your salt intake though.
>>8971859
I'm laughing so hard right now. It's like a game of telephone. I suppose this is exactly how wacky rumors get started, though I can't imagine how someone mistook "looks like a porn star" to "is one".
>>8971755
Good god, I don't know this chick but them standing together makes such a contrast. Girl on the left looks cute and well-put together, girl on the right looks like she woke up drunk.
I love my comm, I've been a part of it for about 8 years now. I've made a lit of great friends, but Im running out of motivation to plan meetups other then just hanging out in frills with the close friend's Ive made within the community.
We have one main comm, with one or two smaller ones that aren't really active themselves. Most of the activity goes down in that one comm, which has members from all over the state. Everyone is free to make meetups, but it's only the same handful of people who make meetups of actual interest. Aside from me, i think there are only 5 other people who plan meetups regularly. But people either always flake out last minuet, complain about the date, the cost, the location, etc. A lot of people offer to carpool other people to make far drives more managable, which most of us do, but then there are always people who refuse, and then go on to bitch and complain about distance anyways, even though the meetup location is forever changing. Do any of these complainers actually plan their own meets? No. I'm starting to feel worn out and under appriciated, and i know the others are too. I don't think i want to plan anymore. I'm tired of being shit talked for my effort. Im only worried that soon the others will do the same, and the comms will disolve into nothing.
Has anyone else felt like that? How did you over come it? If you didn't, what happened to your comm?
folk lolita chan does it again..
>>8973908
wtf is this normal for her?
>>8970130
Are you forreal anon? You clearly didn't spend the time to get to know the comm better.
is there a difference between the vibes of the Carolina kei comm and the northcarolinas comm?
>>8973895
This article answers all of your questions.
>http://meaningness.com/metablog/geeks-mops-sociopaths
>>8974054
Oops. Northcarolitas*
>>8973908
What group is this in? I can't find it
>>8974252
>local comm thread
Never mind me, I'm just so used to seeing her posting in Rufflechat that I forgot she might have a comm
>>8974054
To some extent, yes. Carolina Kei covers both NC and SC, and includes all j-fash, not just lolita. NorthCarolitas is for lolita only and only covers NC.
Carolina Kei is a little more active, and I guess that's really the main difference. I feel like NorthCarolitas also tends to be a little more laid back, but that may just be my perception. There are slightly more older/more experienced lolitas in NorthCarolitas, as well. There's little to no drama in either group.
If you're trying to figure out which one to join, I'd say join both. A lot of people are members of both comms.
I'm moving to LA soon.... What's their comm like?
>>8974859
Everyone's super chill but I have to admit super lazy about meetups. There's monthly meet ups in Little Tokyo, if you're willing to travel to the Valley they have them pretty often too. The OC comm has monthly ones and there's a showing of Kamikaze Girls in june
>>8974870
Will there be a meet up for AX?
>>8974891
No word about it yet but there usually is
>>8974193
Yeah the categories seem really weird to me. A, H, and D fit into "jane marple fags" but they don't really flaunt that shit at meetups afaik. SB is the only one who is an active lifestyler but she doesn't participate in the SF comm either???
>>8974961
Yeah, the only categories I can think of really are
> Older lolitas that have been in the comm for a while and mostly have their shit together
> younger special snowflake lolitas
>>8975104
>How do you categorize newbie snowflakes who are older than 23?
mentally challenged
>>8974093
Wow this was an interesting read! Thankyou! Kind of depressing and very true though. I know the other girls in the comm are starting to host their own private friends only gatherings. I can count on 2 hands everyone that has hosted a meetup in the last 5 years. I wonder if many other comms have the same problem?
>>8965658
So dressing in Lolita is dressing disgustingly? I feel no shame. I can't leave. Lolita is too lovely.
>>8965675
SF for sure.
>>8962391
this sounds like my comm the mods always seem to plan meets weeks to a month ahead of time so that people can book time off but this one girl always comments saying "I work, I have school I can't have any breaks" why are you even here.
Are there any lolitas in SA that live more towards Helotes? I'm curious to know if I've missed seeing any of y'all at the Highland Games! There's a lady who came in steampunk last year, so there's some alternative fashion interest.
>>8975147
We do have Tiferet so it's a completely fair assessment.
>>8976164
SF is literally the worst comm. it's just filled with drama mongerers, bitchy cunts, and pretentious people who act like they're just so much better than any other Lolita.
>>8974859
Meetups have become pretty sparse besides the fashion walks in Little Tokyo and swap meet ones in the Valley. I'd say the best bet if you like dressing up often is to try and make a friend that's willing to go out to eat or something.
>>8976492
Maybe you just suck to be around. Most of the people in the comm are just older and avoid bs. Unless you're the one starting the bs, then yeah we probably don't like you.
>>8976492
What the hell is up with all the San Fran hate? Did someone in the comm outbid you on Y!JA?
>>8976492
You ain't even from our comm
>>8976492
I had a fuckin great time at the meet today. If you're in the SF comm I probably love you.
Not /you/ specifically, you dramamonger, but anyone else reading this.
>>8975880
Most definitely, anon, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
>>8976757
I wasn't at the meet today, but I wuv ya too anon
>>8976763
Different anon then you're replying to, but how isnt it a bad thing? If there are only 3 people who actually plan meetups, and they get sick of doing all the work and just give up and stop because the rest of the comm just bitches about how they dont like the meetups planned, isn't that the death of the comm?
My comm has about 100 members, and the oldfags who are liked and established in the comm take the time to organize meetups. We have a few active girls who attend everything who have been in the comm for a year or so who dress decently. A few noob itas or eternal itas that only show up to con tea parties or plan meetups to go to walmart or whatever that no one except their kind go to, and the fame whores. The fame whores are constantly buying and selling their dresses so they can afford the most rare and expensive dresses so they can post to the comm about their new purchases, but no one ever sees them wear it other then "look what just came in the mail gaiz!" they vlog everything and post it to their youtubes, and they self post to every thread possible on cgl, and several of them have even been caught shit talking the comm or even other fame whores who they call their bff. Most likely the only ones who complain about cost/distance/date/time/ too fancy/not fancy enough/too many itas/boring meetups. I know a few eternal itas complain, but not often. They usually just keep to themselves and are a lot more plesant to be around, if not a bit cringy.
It makes me sad to see some other comms go through the same thing and i can't see how this can possibly not be a bad
>>8977075
Yeah I'm always scared my comm will die. I'm the only one who organises meetups so if I can't do it or if I'm sick or busy there just isn't one made. Nobody else bothers. If I stopped hosting the comm would cease to be unless someone came out of the woodwork.
It's a lot of pressure, but I don't want to comm to die. A lot of people show up to meets, too. So I just keep doing it and keep dropping hints/flat out telling people to also host things.
>>8977131
Original anon here. I dont want my comm to die and every meetup i or one of the other few girls who host things always has a decent turn out, with 10-40 people showing up at a time, but then all we hear is anon bitching and whining and it makes us want to give up. If you aren't happy with any meetups then please host your own. It would be really nice to attend a nice, well thought out meetup that I didn't organize or at least help to organize, that I could just enjoy and not stress about. It is really fustrating. It makes me feel a bit better that it seems a few other comms deal with the same things, so it's just not just an issue for us.
>>8977243
Yeah it's, I guess comforting isn't the word, but reassuring to know it's not just my comm. Hope things pick up for you though, it's a real pain knowing that so many people show up but don't want to do anything.
>>8977075
>>8977131
>>8977243
Let me clarify that it's not a bad thing for more meets to be private.
If you're the only one planning, and that stresses you out, stop doing meets until someone else steps up. Either they will our they won't, but you can still do private get togethers.
Also, if you haven't read it yet, that article I linked is sobering. There will always be people taking advantage, and many others that will not put forth effort.
Just the way it is.
I have a few questions for you gulls, if you don't mind. My comm doesn't have any official rules regarding being on cgl, and I know there are a few gulls in my comm based on what I've read in the threads. But none of us ever talk about it in person, and it makes me wonder if it's because there's an unspoken rule about it.
I'm curious to know if comms have black and white rules about this place since the common misconception is that it's all trash talk and bullying. I actually really enjoy using cgl as a tool to both educate, and inspire. But I don't think my comm would be as understanding.
Has anyone ever been kicked out of their comms for being a gull? Of course if you shit talk and post pictures of your comm members, that's understandable to be kicked out. But for the casual users like myself, do you keep it a secret?
>>8977398
I'm a moderator for a comm, and I'm on cgl. Another mod uses it too. We've decided it's beyond our power to enforce whether or not people use it, so it's up to the members' disgression.
The comm members are split into a couple categories
>cgl users (varying levels of usage from frequent to rarely)
>people who don't use cgl
>people who hate cgl
Also I never bring up cgl or 4chan at meets or around people I don't know well. My friends and I talk about it in private.
>>8977398
Another comm mod here, our comm rules about cgl are pretty lax and we don't mind if people go there as long as they're not stirring shit. I'd be wary of any comm that bans people from going on cgl. After all, how would the mods/members find out unless they went there themselves?
We have a lot of members who get great use and help from cgl, and we've had no trouble about it, so the positives far outweigh the negatives. It comes up at meets sometimes, and we usually just have a giggle about something that recently happened or whatever. We don't take it too seriously overall and most people are very open about browsing or posting.
>tfw comm I'm going to join never has any drama
I mean I'm sure it's a good thing, but I'm not sure if it's because they're all itas or it it's because they're legitimately good people
Is the SF comm for the whole bay area? Are there ever meetups in the south bay?
>>8977614
Plenty of meet ups. Yesterday their was one in San Jose. You can always host your own in the southbay as well.
I recall last year even Gilroy had a meet up.
>>8977614
Yeah. The regular monthly meetups are always in SF, but there are events pretty much everywhere. Yesterday there was a meetup in San Jose and Benicia.
I feel like there are definitely "regional" lolitas who show up more frequently to meetups closer to their area, but there's also plenty of overlap, either at the monthly meetups or just meetups in general. Carpooling is pretty frequent, so a lot of people will use that or public transit to get to a meet regardless of where it is.
>>8977398
I've been kicked out of a community for using cgl. I didn't post anyone or stir any shit, but it got out that I'm a gull, and I was removed without warning. I know our mods and their friends come on here, so I don't see why I was kicked.
>>8977640
Holy shit, that's really shady. Are you comfortable saying which comm? I'd like to steer clear if they're that two-faced about it.
>>8977520
True. I'm positive that there are other members that use cgl, based on what's been posted about our comm. But whoever it is that comes on here, also likes to name drop people, myself included. I've done well to stay anonymous online, refusing to comment on those threads, but it bothers me that someone would be willing to shame me online for using cgl when they are on here too? Makes no sense, but it is what it is.
>>8977640
Well that's irritating, I'm sorry that happened to you.
>>8977642
I'd love to name and shame, but starting drama is the last thing I want to do. Just be careful of small comms run by under-agers.
God I hope I don't get banned for some dumb shit but I just joined the portland comm and they haven't done a meet since last year?
Why is it dead?
Rent too high and no one can buy dresses?
>>8977640
>other people in your comm go on here
>surprised by their mentality
Did they ever talk about it at meets? How did you know they were going on here and how'd they find out you were on here?
>>8977520
True. Also a comm mod here as well.
Most of us just chit chat, post, give tips, read threads whatever. Once in awhile, we get some bad eggs and have problems, but they kind of sort themselves out.
If your comm is banning people, I don't think that they really understand the whole of /cgl/. While there are obnoxious cunts aplenty, the good outweighs the bad and has kept me checking back for years.
>>8978027
Are you sure you're looking at the right comm? Our last meet was the 10th and we have another scheduled in two weeks. There's usually at least two meetups a month.
>>8978061
...well that's weird. I had two mods tell me the meet up comm was dead - it is. And those same mods are in the Tea & Cake society comm...
so where do they schedule meet ups or should I talk more in the group on fb?
I don't really like using facebook, I was hoping to meet people in person you know?
whale-chan in my comm wont stop going on about how huge her wardrobe is.
you might have more pieces than me but at least my brand fits properly, bitch.
>>8978131
All meetups are just scheduled directly in the Tea and Cake Society group, just check the events section. The next one is the Kentucky Derby meetup.
>>8978138
Thanks I found it!
>>8978032
Yes they have, a few times. One of the mods even showed up in a draw thread once. I'm more confused than surprised, since I don't remember talking about cgl shit with *them*.
>>8977398
My comm is a mix of young and older members, so keeping topics away from cgl is for the safety of the youngins. I don't really care if people browse places like cgl, RC:U, or btb.
>>8978135
Is she a Bodyline chan? There's a fattychan in our comm who always talks about how big their wardrobe is but it's all bodyline. There's nothing wrong with wearing bodyline, but I don't know why you'd buy so much of it instead of buying a few nice things and then go on to tell everyone all about it. It's also a bit weird to brag, brand or non brand wardrobe.
>>8978149
Eh. Don't read too much into it. My guess is they're the "let's kick this 4chan fag out kek" mind set. Much like when you make the mistake of joining a chat room linked from any board here. You either get along swimmingly or they make an inside joke and you get kicked from the room.
>>8978131
The "Free Meetups Group" is run by two of the batshit craziest girls in the comm, just join the main comm and look for events there.
>>8977398
I worry about this too. I've been a lone lolita for a long time and only just established contact with my local comm, so it would be really easy for me to make the wrong impression or even be scapegoated as a drama monger. It doesn't help that I'm kind of socially awkward. So far nobody knows I post here but I'd really like to participate in the draw threads (both as an artist and by posting coords) and that would obviously out me. Other girls can claim they heard about the draw threads on other comms and only come to /cgl/ for these threads, but since I only made my FB like a month ago and have obviously been into lolita longer than that that excuse wouldn't hold up for me.
I'm just paranoid because my local comm used to be super aggressively anti-/cgl/ and held several witch hunts in the past, which is the reason I stayed a lone lolita in the first place. Most of those girls seem to be gone now but you never know.
>>8973913
Pretty much
>>8978460
Are you the same person posting her to different threads?
>>8977398
I was kicked out of my community because of cgl. I didn't even use it at that time, but some girls kept causing drama and then keep claiming it was me. Mods banned me because they thought I was causing drama, when in reality several other members were bullying me. Being a lone Lolita is more fun anyway so I'm not too bothered by it.
>>8978270
....it's not the one that also is a mod in the main group is it?
>>8976439
Isn't pic related tiferet?
>>8978853
Pic related is indeed tiferet
>>8978863
Thanks for confirming. That poor ctp...
>>8966235
There are far less drama in SF per capita.
>>8978863
Is tiferet recently disabled or had some surgery? I've seen some pics of her with a knee walker.
>>8977398
I dunno if my comm really has much against it. There are a few tumblry girls that I feel may care but I know a lot of us go on cgl too. The mods are really chill so I don't think they would care either unless if there was some serious drama going on or something but our comm is rarely talked about on here.
>>8978135
where are you located anon, this sounds just like a girl in my comm
>>8979027
Afaik she is just fat and old.
Recently visited a different comm that I wish I could be in full-time (but they're several hours away, sadly!)
Well-dressed, extremely friendly and welcoming, and a gorgeous city to boot. My comm is great but this comm is perfect.
>>8973895
Sounds familiar, what comm?
>>8978871
Those poor ctp*
That's two dresses she slapped together.
>>8980658
Huh? I thought the crime here was that she took scissors to cut the dress at the waist so that she could fit into it.
>>8980658
No it isn't. You're thinking of someone else.
Not lolita, but SoCal cosplay comm drama last night was amazing. Anyone in on it?
>>8974093
this is a good fucking article.
>>8974093
Hooooly fucking shit.
>>8974093
Hah! I got this.
So my best friend wears lolita sometimes, but she doesn't have a Facebook for whatever reason. If I mention a meet in any regard, she hints that she wants to go. I feel like she should just get a damn Facebook, even under a fake name or just only for the comm. I've mentioned this multiple times, but she's like "hurr durr not interested so antisocial." To make it worse, she always just sticks to me and complains about how awkward it is. I like going to meets alone now, because at least I can try to talk to new people, without dragging her around. I also have to add her as a +1 for events or she just shows up uncounted. And I have to drive her. This has happened like 4 times now.
I've eventually just made sure not to mention it in front of her, but now I'm hosting my first meet this weekend. A bunch of our mutual friends are going, and knowing them they'll probably post about it on their snapchat stories or mention it later. I know it's her own fault for not joining the comm, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. She's still my best friend, but I'm sick of her shit when it comes to this. Should I invite her? Tell our mutual friends to not let her know?
>tl;dr should I invite my friend to the meet I'm hosting if she refuses to join the local comm
>>8982165
Tell her to fuck off. Honestly, she's deliberately being awkward despite your best efforts to bring her into the comm. She sounds whiny, and while you probably shouldn't drop her like a pile of shit, let her know that shes acting like a child. She'll either get her act together or stop being a pain.
>>8982165
Link her to it on twitter/tumblr/something she uses. If you make the event 'public' she'll be able to see it. If you don't want randos, make it so that the location is hidden or update the setting a couple days before the event to private with the location up/ blasted on the page in posts. Have people PM you for specifics if that seems like a dumb idea.
>>8982425
Well, it's an event for the comm page, so I can't make it public.
>>8982409
I actually kind of agree with you at this point. She's really sweet but she's set on the idea of not joining the comm yet wanting to go to events and it's kind of dumb.
I think I'll just not invite her, and if she sees something about it on snapchat/insta and asks about it, I'll just remind her that it was an event for the community and she's always welcome to join. Does this sound minimally bitchy?
>>8982446
You could her about it, but inform her that you're too busy to give her a ride/hold her hand through the meet because you're hosting it? At least then, she knows about it, but can't cling to you.
>>8982165
If you exclude her from this meetup and she finds out about it afterwards, it's definitely going to seem like a huge betrayal, especially since you say she's your bestie, but apparently you're now bitching to 4chan about why you don't want your bestie there instead of working things out with her. (I mean, that's the way it's going to look like to her).
You're better off biting the bullet, sit her down and tell her you're organising a meetup, but tell her you cannot offer her a ride and be by her side during the entire meet, etc etc, if she's feeling antisocial you can't pander to her and hold her hand throughout the meetup. Tell her you don't mind if she doesn't come, because you can't take care of her anyway.
If you've never told her before how all these things annoy you, you might want to take a gentler route. Avoid pushing the blame of not enjoying past meets onto her. Instead, say something like "you know how we always sit together, well, this time I need to sit here, and then after this and that happens I need to say hello to everyone who comes, because I'm the one who organised the meet". Try to set her up with some kindly extroverted lolitas, then abandon her to her own during the meetup. Who knows, she might actually learn to make friends. You know your bestie best, find ways so that she doesn't stick to you like glue while complaining.
If she already knows all these things annoy you, just remind her of that, then reiterate that you can't pander to her just because she's your bestie. Tell her you want to do this, and if she really does care for you, she'll probably understand how important the meetup is for you.
>>8982165
Why lolita is so full of normies?
First of all, she probably wants to go to a meet beforehand because she wants to know if it's worth it joining it. A lot of introverted people find committing to a community or doing a new social media a huge step and something that might make them very anxious and insecure. Maybe she just wants to go to make sure it's safe joining the comm. You are a shit friend for not noticing that and people like you make people not want to join a comm because most extroverted lolitas are blatant normies.
>>8982448
>>8982456
Eh, I made her sound like an annoying bitch in my rant, but she's not actually irritating or demanding.
It's usually more like she looks mildly disappointed when she finds out I went to a meet without her, or she'll keep dropping hints like "oh I did get a new dress I've been wanting to wear" if I tell her I have weekend plans already or something. I'm mostly just scared of hurting her feelings, but it's hard to find a medium between tough love and sacrificing my own enjoyment. Especially when she's not very responsive.
I think I was a little too upset about it and made the situation sound worse than it is. I think you guys are right, I'll try inviting her, but telling her she'll need to catch a ride with another mutual friend since I need to go early.
Thanks for the second opinion anons, I really appreciate it. And I hope this works out. I can be a terrible friend sometimes.
>>8982460
Well you're not wrong about the shit friend part, but I'm totally introverted too. And I can't tell of this is a joke or not with the watamote image.
>>8982460
From what anon wrote it sounds like she's already been to a few meets though. If she keeps wanting to go she should work out how to do that for herself (i.e. joining the com, finding her own transport, etc.).
Anon's not a bad friend because she doesn't want to pander to her friend's neuroses forever.
>>8973895
This sounds like my comm.
My comm is really spread out. We'll call it groups A, B, C and D. A and B are up north, C in the middle, and D is south. A and D never really associate much with the other groups. B and C are both pretty active and sometimes people from either will venture out to meets hosted by the other. This is where all the meets are planned because this is apparently where everyone who has the gall to host a meet lives. But then people from A and D who aren't very active always complain that the meets are too far away, but never actually plan a meetup themselves, they just wait for someone to host one near them.
If you want to go to a meet, either organize one or be willing to travel. Someone 4 hours way up in B isn't going to plan a meet in D just because you want a closer meet. They are going to plan one around the places they know.
>>8982470
>the watamote image.
I bet it's you know who, that always gets upset about being friends. I remember having that same problem when I was like 6.
My comm seems to be falling apart. We used to have meets relatively well attended, casual meets had around 10-25 people with most of them being regular attendees and a few people who came every so often. Meets were usually twice or once a month, but this has really fallen now that the regular attendees only exclusively attend "private" meets between themselves.
Resultantly, our comm is quite inactive now, and when newbies are creating or organising events, very few people attend. I dont mind people hanging out with their friends in frillies but i would love some ideas on how to revive our comm.
Can anyone suggest some cute posing ideas for group shots?
I love my comm so much but I'm moving to a different city a few hours from here soon and the comm there seems... not so great.
It's a lot larger and it seems to have more drama going on so I'm worried I'm going to stop enjoying going out in Lolita.
I want to move but I don't want to leave my comm and my friends in the comm.
>>8970130
>I guess everyone is nice on the surface but there's a lot of cattybehavior behind the scenes
Isn't that the case for everyone everywhere? lol
I'm in the comm, and I have to say all of it is true, but I love everyone regardless
Seems like a last minute bump, but as I've been out of the loop since 2009, where's the Finnish comm currently at? There seems to be two equally sized facebook groups, other linked to the second hand market place that has lately had some issues with moderation. Do we even have active Finnish community or is the whole scene as dead as Enfant Terrible after 2008? Where are all the sane people?
I just want to stop being a lone lolita since I'm spending summer in Hki where everything happens anyway.
>>8973895
This sounds like my comm... CO?
>>8978853
If I had a dollar for everytine this picture was posted
>>8980610
>>8983570
>>8992255
It bumms me out to hear that it is a multiple comm problem. Then again it makes me feel better it isn't an issue specific to my area.
I arranged another meetup for the end of this month. Not as much planning as i usually do for a meet, but better then a "lets meet at x and have lunch" type of meet that the others do. I think ill take a break after this month to slowly plan a big october/fall meetup for the comm. Though of course there will be endless bitching associated with it, i just have to ignore it and focus on the people who genuinly have fun and have a passion for lolita like i do. Just wish the normies would gtfo
If your comm is going to see a movie you have zero interest in and don't want to see, probably best to skip the meet completely, right? I've never been to a meet before and I don't know anyone going so I don't think I can ask if anyone else wants to see something different that day
>>8994324
it's better to skip. don't be a dick anon.
>>8994328
Fair enough! I'll probably do the whole lonelita thing on ILD then, no biggie.
>>8994334
What? I was being sincere? I actually don't mind going solo. I get that this is 4chan so you probably thought I was being sarcastic, def wasn't. It's really not a big deal. I don't know these people lol
>>8994337
Yeah. I read it really fast and thought you were complaining, wrote a whole post about it, and reread your post and realized you weren't bitching at all, so I felt sheepish and deleted it. Sorry!
Has a creepy older gentleman by the name of Michael ever been ban from the SF comm?
Not apart of the SF comm, but while in the city, I ran into a creepy old man who wouldn't stop following me and a my s/o around while he screamed about lolitas and the SF Comm.
It was disturbing.
>>8996687
Never heard of him. I'm sorry that happened to you though.
>>8996687
Holy shit anon, I was hanging out with friends under the pagoda in Japan town, I was wearing a casual coord. Pretty sure we were accosted by the same Michael. That's funny.
He doesn't live in the city, he likes coming from out of town and talking to strangers, preferably young people. So keep an eye out if a simple minded, big around the middle balding white guy approaches you.
>>8996687
Heard about Michael bothering some comm members in the same way at a mini-meet in South Bay. He sure gets around.
>>8996687
I don't think he's in the comm but maybe you should PM a mod to let them know?
I am not going to say what comm it is because it can derail threads. But I left my comm a few months back due to the mod either hating me or simply didn't like that some people don't like angelic pretty as much as her.
The group has pretty much become a AP love fest to oogle her massive hoard of AP dresses. I felt pressured to buy things I really didn't like just to be able to contribute to conversations and meets. So I left.
Since I left, I have sold all the pink and pastels I never really liked and bought my dream dress from MmM. My fiance has been more in love with lolita then before. He didn't like the pastel pinks and blues just as much as I wasn't comfortable in it. It's been the best move for me to become a lone lolita and have a closet full of Gothic like I enjoy.
>>8996891
Why would you spend so much money on shit you didn't like? Your thought processes are beyond my understanding.
>>8996894
To me 150 dollars isn't a lot of money when I can spend 500 dollars on a coach purse every season change and still afford my bills. I got them so I could have something to talk about with the others at the meets and on the community page since everyone was AP obsessed.
>>8996941
That's still pretty sad. You should spend some time working on yourself instead of blaming your comm for your inability to contribute to conversations.
>>8996941
>buying coach
disgusting
>>8996941
Having a lot of money doesn't make your reasoning for spending it any less stupid.
>>8996941
You know coach has gone downhill in the last ten years right? Their stuff is barely worth 1/100th of the price you pay.
>>8982460
Can you please not make introverted people sound like hikikomori? You're embarrassing and you probably need to see a counselor to overcome your social anxiety and agoraphobia.
Jesus introverted just means after four hours I'd rather be sitting at home and browsing the intranets, not that I get disabling panic attacks every time I join a comm or I'm so awkward I need a friend every time I go to an event.
>>8996891
So you abandoned the lolitas in the comm who were either gothic lolitas themselves or in the closet about their love for gothic lolita.
JK, you're not obliged to them. Your time is nobody's but your own.
If the comm was truly contributing nothing to your life -- whether it was coord inspiration, information on releases that were to your tastes, but most importantly, fellow members who clicked with you in conversation (assuming you weren't just sitting there silent and waiting for others to approach you like a social dead fish) -- leaving was probably the right decision.
>>8996947
I'm not blaming my comm for any thing. I just said I left because we had nothing in common and it made me feel better about my self. The only person I would blame is the mod for making AP only tea parties and only allowing threads talking about the latest's AP releases. The comm itself is alright when the mod isn't involved.
>>8996949
I didn't say you had to like it boo
>>8996951
you're right it doesnt, but If I wanted to buy it just because I could, it should be my prerogative to do so. I didn't hurt any one by spending my own hard earned money on something I didn't like, to later sell it to someone else for usually less then what it cost when I bought it. I did it to see if I liked it. found out I didn't but was invited to meets by the mod because she and the rest of the comm thought it was cute.
>>8996977
Seconding this. Introverts "recharge" by spending time alone whereas extroverts are more at ease being surrounded by people. Introverts are not inherently socially retarded, JFC. Nobody in this fashion is a "normie" because it's a weird niche fashion from Japan. Being shy sucks. Having social anxiety probably sucks too. Socializing can be taxing. But if you're a grown ass adult who wants to make friends and be in a comm, you gotta suck it up.
>>8997002
>michael korrs
Welcome to mediocrity
>>8997002
>michael kors
>not kate spade or dooney and burke
pleb
>>8996973
Coach got a new designer in 2013 (who left Louis Vuitton to be a part of Coach), and he has definitely revitalized the brand; if you didn't even know this you don't really have the ammunition to make this argument anon. Admittedly, Coach under Krakoff was tired, matronly, and bland which is why he's now designing collections for Kohls lmfao. Also, they have a new warranty/repair policy and in-store cleaning for non-outlet leather bags which are both complementary so you get more bang for your buck. When I buy designer bags I have to wrestle a lot less about buying Coach because they're by far a better product than Michael Kors or Kate Spade (as much as I love Kate's designs).
>>8996941
People complain about costume-looking coords in this community when we should really complain about these pathetic and desperate mindsets.
>>8997174
What, wanting to relate to other people in your hobby circle? What's pathetic or desperate about that? What's the problem with trying something new just because everyone's doing it? Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but just because anon came to the conclusion they didn't like what they bought doesn't mean she was pathetic or desperate.
>>8997178
You literally used the dresses as a ticket into the local lolita club. I swear to god people like you don't actually care about the fashion at all, you just want attention from a captive audience.
>>8997192
>people like you
lmao oh you think I'm OP, that's cute
>>8988037
in a circle, camera facing down, everyone extends one foot into center of circle
>>8996891
>My fiance has been more in love with lolita then before. He didn't like the pastel pinks and blues just as much as I wasn't comfortable in it.
people who drag their SO's opinions into posts to support themselves set off my bullshit alarm. it's like sockpuppetry in its simplest form.
>>8996999
>If you're a grown ass adult who wants to make friends and be in a comm, you gotta suck it up.
And by "it," you mean alcohol, of course.
Moderate alcohol is the shy person's best weapon in any social situation.
>>8973275
Your comm sounds like the "local" one here which is a 3 hour drive from me. I've put enough effort into my wardrobe and am at an age where I can't really relate to the young 'uns. I saw their photos and cringed. Its literally shitty ill fitting bodyline, cosplay wigs and pennys/claires accessories with 2/3 decently dressed girls. I am not putting forth effort for that.
>>8997208
Do you have a problem with people who have SO that happen to support them in the fashion? You sound like a very lonely person that can't be loved anon. I'm sorry you are soo bitter about others happiness.
