My boyfriend is a very nice guy; we play video games together and it's usually a lot of fun. Very randomly though, in a competitive/versus environment(primarily first person shooters), he will get upset when I beat him. REALLY upset and competitive to the point where he will go silent and pout until he kills me. Then when he does, he shit talks, says very mean stereotypical gamer things. He also constantly looks at my stats. Right now I have higher eliminations that him in Overwatch and it's driving him insane trying to beat it. I just want to have fun, should I let him win?

>>17239229
He sounds like a bitch. It's just a fucking game. But yea, if it really upsets him that much, you should let him.

Girls, do you get asked out a lot on the days preceding Valentine's Day? What do you think about this? Does it make the guy seem opportunistic?
Fellow guys, does this ever work?

Sunday will be a Valentine's Day equivalent in my country.

Girls, how do I differentiate a girl being flirty towards me or just being flirty in general (personality-wise). Like how can I be sure it means something and is directed towards me?

When you flirt with a guy, is it to actually show interest or because whatever reason. Also, what counts as flirting? What makes it from being nice to being flirty?

>>17239229
stop playing with him, he sound like a brat.

>>17239288

And for you socialism is taxing everything ?

>>17239303

It's the government being able to step in and control everything. That's why your taxes are so high because of the governments involvement.

and because you all have set hours and vacation by the government. Business have to raise their prices in order to survive. That's why things are so expensive where you live.

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Is there a nice way to ask my GF to stop having her hair cut short? She's been cutting her hair shorter and shorter since we've been dating, and doesn't really suit her (pic-related). Before we started dating she had a long nice pony tail that curled near the end and was cute, but now she looks like someone hit random on an oblivion character. She doesn't follow any of that feminist stuff and isn't cutting her hair for a statement, she just finds it more convenient. She likes it 'cause it's easier to cut/wash, but every time she gets her hair cut I have to act like I'm happy for her, but for me it was just starting to get good before she cut it. She's pretty ESL, and being subtle hasn't really worked well for me.

>>17239317
well ok but true socialism would taxe everyone in a fairly way, so the rich would pay more taxes and the poor less, the wealth could be redistributed, the thing is, everyone pay the same taxes (almost), so people who are already rich don't really care because it's not affecting their wealth, but the lower middle class and poor people strugle from so much taxes and don't have enough money to spend...

But, as everything is taxed to 19.6% (every products) if people get more money, they'll spend it, if they spend it, the state get more money too because of the 19.6% taxes...

it's an infinite loop, i don't know if i make myself understandable since english's not my first langage, but that would be great if more people would have more money to spend

>>17239317
Reposting from last thread. I asked what job you had and how long.

I asked because I'm going to be changing my major soon, and $70,000 is pretty high, especially for no degree. Now I see it's because you work a lot of overtime.

>>17239337
he told you that he was in armed security for 2 years

>>17239340
I know, that was my response to that.

So, uh, do women get their periods the same time each month? I should definitely know this but don't. It's added an entirely new dimension to my discussions with a girl

>>17239357
It can have slight fluctuation, but it's around the same time.

>>17239334

I understand what you're saying. Thats still a ton in taxes, but it's good you all get time to relax. Working a lot sucks.

>>17239337

Yeah I got a ton of OT last year. but even without OT I'd be making around $52,000 a year.

>>17239357
No, that's a myth. There was a study on this in like the 1950s that said women's cycles synced up but it's since been debunked.

>>17239363
Is there anything I should know about that time of the month so I don't say something stupid? Like should I not playfully pick on her or something?

>>17239364
It just occurred to me, but don't you need some kind of certification for armed security? Regular security doesn't have access to firearms.

>>17239370
That's not what I meant, sorry. I meant the same girl getting her period at the same part of each month

>>17239372

I was in the military for 5 years. But you just have to go through some state level training. Each state is different. But it was easy.

>>17239376
Women get their periods every 21-38 days on average. Usually a woman's cycle is narrow, so one might get it every 23-26 days while another will get it every 28 days on the dot. Stress can delay it. Every woman's "normal" is unique. Though if they're highly erratic it generally means you have a hormone disorder or weight problems.

>>17239364
yeah having time to relax or to travel is really nice, but if you don't have enough money to travel or buy whatever you want it's really frustrating, i would glady trade 3 weeks of vacations a year for your salary in a heartbeat.
Even for 40 000€.

>>17239396

Yeah that's understandable. I guess both have their ups and downs

So I posted a while ago..I'm "straight" femanon who has fallen in love with another girl I met online.

If helpful gayanon who talked to me before is around please give me a (You)

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>>17239475
Hey bby u wan sum fuk im so wet porqoui tu la belles ma femme

aussi aussi mon cherie

>>17239482
i'm french and this shit doesnt mean anything.

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>>17239490
neither does france

GOTTEM

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>>17239482

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>>17239499

>>17239506
>>17239501
You inspired me to finally torrent this shit

>>17239522
I haven't seen you around recently Pegasus. I thought you had left.

>>17239532
I did, just was killing time before my food was ready

Time to disappear into the night again

Friendly reminder Liru finally comes out tomorrow and will make my dick great again

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>spend time on 4chan with all this cuck spam
>realize I kinda want to watch my gf fuck a black dude
so I should definitely never tell her this right?

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>>17239522

Do females ever really have guy friends who are attractive, or do they just build a network of backup men?

>>17239542
unplug from the internet, brah. You've been here for too long...

>>17239608
>Do females ever really have guy friends who are attractive,

yes, most people lives actually do not revolve around fucking, as the virgins around here would have you believe.

>>17239616
but 4chan is my entire social life

For girls: I've sort of tried to be a stoic, keep-to-myself kind of guy because I have alot of interests that I don't like to talk about or aren't normally interesting to girls, for example I want to live in the canadian wilderness when i'm out of college and like blacksmithing. My question is at what point is being quiet and not socializing a lot considered weird? For reference i'm not like a fat weeb or something, pretty much the opposite. I'm tall and skinny and don't do vidya very much(at least not anymore)

>>17239636

I'm not a virgin, and I haven't had sex in 5 years by choice.

Girls, in your eyes when does confidence turn into arrogance?

>>17239708
When he drops below a 5

>>17239708
Arrogance is confidence without humility. So just don't be an asshole about it basically.

Girls,
is a guy having an established, well known crush on you a reason to not hang out with him?
A girl I have a crush on became my best friend, and we've definitely talked about my feelings for her and our relationship in general (Not together in a romantic sense because I don't take enough initiative, seemed "unsure" about it, and she didn't want to be my first) and kind of reached the verdict to just stay friends. But she recently started dating someone else and stopped talking to me altogether (admittedly, I haven't tried talking to her doing this time because I don't know what to say). I'm pretty jealous but also upset that I may have lost a friend too.

Guys and Girls in a relationship.

What do you do to turn on your significant other?

Is rubbing my nose against the nose of my male best friend too sexual/inappropriate? What about piggybacks?

>>17239750
Female here. If her boyfriend is particularly jealous/abusive, then she might be avoiding you because she's worried that her infant relationship might suffer. Also, if you're being obvious or spouting "friendzone" type shit to mutual friends, that'll cause avoidance too. I don't know if you are or not, but if she's worried that you'll be too close for comfort or too obvious with your feelings, she might avoid you to keep her relationship from dying.

>>17239818

Rubbing noses is a intimate act

>>17239818
Rubbing your nose against his: If you're TRULY only best friends then nah, but if a girl did it to me I would think she might be into me
Piggybacks: no everyone does that

>>17239818
In my entire life, I have only rubbed my nose against one boyfriend out of four. And it's the one I've been dating for 6 years and plan on marrying.

>>17239814
Girl here. I know all of my guy's kinks, so I use them to my advantage. Kissing, nuzzling, kissing the neck, running my fingers along his body, snuggling, any mention of any of said kinks....

>>17239823
>>17239829
What about touching his hair and cheek-kissing?

>>17239841
Touching his hair: no everyone does that shit
Cheek kissing: you're still kissing him. So yeah i'd day that's too inappropriate

Guys, if an attractive female acquaintance would like to fuck you, would you agree?
What if you had feelings for her, but not anymore cuz she was a bitch?

>>17239843
He is Hispanic, and you know, they cheek-kissing to greet each other amongst themselves. I'm not Hispanic though.

girls is there a difference in the way you perceive guys with brown eyes as opposed to blue? Aside from aesthetics? Assuming both are white in this scenario

>>17239847
In all my experiences with that you dont actually kiss their cheek

>>17239845
If it was just for some ficki ficki then yeah

>>17239819
Her boyfriend's almost definitely not abusive, and I can't tell if he'd be jealous or not. They started dating (for the second time, first since I've known them) in late March but broke up about 3 weeks ago, and just got back together again last week. during the end of their relationship the first time she complained about him to me a bunch, and I never explicitly said she should break up with him (I'd agree when she'd tell me that someone else told her to break up), but during their brief time not dating we did wind up talking a lot of shit about him. I really don't care about him (beyond being her boyfriend) at all so I wasn't super into it, but I figured it was helping her deal with it so I went along. Do you think she would tell him about that? I could see him not wanting her to be around me if that were the case.
Also we don't really have mutual friends so spouting about the friendzone is not something I would or even could do

>>17239848
It's horrible, but I'd honestly be less attracted to my guy if he had blue eyes. I see brown eyes as strong as caring. Most blue or light-eyed guys I've met are more feminine. Many of them have also been assholes. But that's probably just my personal preference for brown eyes coming through and making me biased.

>>17239863
No that's interesting, the girl I'm talking to said she likes brown eyes, and she has said she likes my manly features (tall, hairy)

>>17239856
He might have gone through her phone, if she texted, or she might have changed her mind about all the shitty things she said, and you being around reminds her of it. A lot of women are fickle when it comes to that stuff.

If a girl says "Im on a new record, Ive been single for three weeks"

Is that a red flag?

>>17239848
Blue eyes are ok as long as they're dark.

Really light eyes scream "serial killer rapist" to me. They just look a bit soulless.

>>17239848
I actually have a thing for blue eyes, brown hair, I find them to be beautiful and interesting to look into. Chick here, my current partner has amazing blue eyes.

>>17239850

This

>>17239850
I know. You actually kiss the air but people call it a cheek-kiss

>>17239876
But are brown eyes attractive?

>>17239871
My guy's hairy too. He's taller than me as well (I'm 5'2, he's 5'9). I'm big on a guy seeming really manly. My guy's like 180 lbs, and while he's not ripped he's not fat or chubby. The girl you're talking to is probably similar to me, where she likes for a guy to seem really masculine, and dark eyes just feel more masculine to me

>>17239884
Yes

>>17239886
>>17239893
Wew, fuck /pol/, was concerned there for a second

>>17239874
I'd reply with "No Shit Sherlock," but that'd be stereotypical and unoriginal. So I'm going to reply that she's probably got some sort of "complete me" syndrome, a great deal of clinginess, or the inability to commit. Or is post abuse and all of the above. Gotta love it. Female here, for the record.

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Girls, is it friendzoning a girl to call her dude, or man, or other variations of that? Have I been friendzoning girls my entire life without realizing it?

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You all like dark eyes better?... What about my eyes? :/

>>17239873
We didn't really text about it, but I could see her being reminded of it. The last real conversation she and I had was talking about how we were each other's best friends, and I guess she should probably want her boyfriend to be her best friend.
Is there anything I can do here?
I want to apologize for not talking to her, but I don't want her to think that I've just been doing it to try to manipulate her, but at the same time this is by far the longest and most unnatural amount of time we've gone without talking since we started hanging out so I feel like I can't just try to ignore it and ask to hang out again.
Also thanks for replying I haven't really had a chance to really talk to someone about this, and just getting it off my chest is helping

>>17239911
It's only friendzoning if you're turning them down with the "let's just be friends" cliche.

>>17239911
Chick here, the friend zone doesn't exist. If she's into you, and you're into here, someone initiates and it'll happen. If you never ask, you're not in the friend zone. If she says no, you're not in the friend zone, she's just not fuckng interested. Being nice to her doesn't entitle you to anything, being a good friend don't mean shit if there isn't chemistry. And calling someone man, dude, etc, doesn't change interest, unless you're dealing with a shallow bitch. Woman here, from personal experience. Take the word friend zone out of your vocabulary.

Especially if you retort back with "but this one chick stringed me along forever..." If she did deliberately, she's a bitch, if you misinterpreted her signals, it's a misunderstanding, if she's got a guy she's trying to leave and she's using you as a backup, she's insecure, not representative of women as a whole, and you shouldn't put up with it. /rant

>>17239912
No homo but I think you have good eyes bro

>>17239915
I'd see if you can talk to her in person to find out what's going on. Do you go to school or work together? If you do, try to let her know somehow discreetly that you're worried about her, talk to her in a concerned friend manner. Don't pry too heavily, but let her know that this silence isn't like her and try to make sure it isn't something major going on that you don't know about. It sounds like she's either dealing with jealousy issues from the bf, guilt for shit talking him, or some unknown bullshit in her own life that has her withdrawing. If you have any mutual friends, check with them to see if they've heard anything major is going on with her. You don't even have to mention any detail, just let them know you haven't heard from her and that you're a little worried.

>>17239848
I don't really care about eyes. It depends on how well they compliment his face and that obviously fluctuates a lot, there's not only one type of eyes that is attractive.

>>17239863
>>17239876
I used to really like my light blue eyes. Now I'm not so sure.

>>17239949
Nah bro don't be like that, light brown eyes here. Some girls liked my eyes, some didn't. There'll always be girls out there for you.

Be proud, your white heritage shows. Mine doesn't.

>>17239912
I think your eyes are nice. They're dark enough that they're not creepy

>>17239912
Your mileage may vary. Your eyes are pretty to me, but I don't like your haircut, but you might be some other girl's dream and not even know it. Appearance isn't everything anyway.

>>17239965

my hair looks slightly different now, that was a few weeks ago, but the front is flipped up now, not combed over like the rest of it

>>17239938
There's no way for me to see her in person without it being obvious that I'm just trying to see her, and I'm not sure how that would come off. I guess I can ask one of her friends, but she's posted pictures on instagram and snapchat of her being happy with her boyfriend so I'm not sure how genuine any concern would come off either.
Then to clarify, I am pretty jealous, but I know it's not worth losing our entire friendship over

A guy started flirting with me, and I fell really hard for him. Now, he is talking to me less, and his silence is making it clear that he is losing interest.
I am really hurt, more than I should be honestly. He made me feel special and then withdrew completely. He still texts me every so often. Should I be extra nice to him when he texts, or blow him off? Is there any way I can get his interest again?

>>17239912
Your eyes look really sweet. You look like a good listener, and sympathetic. I like it!

>>17239989
Sounds like she's nurturing her obviously slightly rocky relationship. You might not be in her priorities right now, especially with the aforementioned crush admission, so I'm pretty sure that at this point if she comes back to you then you two are friends, but until then don't take it too personally and move on. Also, a lot of girls in shitty relationships will bomb social media with all the happy vibes to please the abuser or at least present a happy face to the world, while inside the relationship things are more rocky.

I did that when a guy I was with was abusing me, but it might not be the case here. Without input from her it's impossible to know. If she isn't prioritizing your friendship, it would probably be safer for you to focus on other friendships and hobbies and wait for her to come back. If she's gonna and values you enough, she'll come to you, if not, then you weren't worth as much to her as you thought, harsh as that is to say. People act on your priorities, and you're clearly not high on her list at the moment, so she shouldn't be high on yours either. Same chick you've been talking to by the way.

Do girls give a shit if you like cats?

>>17240018
Um, your choice in pet has little to do with mate choice unless she has an allergy?

How odd is it that I had no male friends when I was a kid? I thought if a guy interacted a lot with a girl it had to be flirting/with romantic intentions.

Other question: how odd is it that my current best friend is male? (We live in different countries though)

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>>17239927
>If she says no, you're not in the friend zone, she's just not fuckng interested.
That was how I always interpreted the 'friend zone'. Person A asks out Person B, Person B isnt interested and just wants to be friends. Didn't necessarily mean either person was in the wrong. People could be immature about the situation, but that was a separate issue.

It's crazy how that term has developed so much angst.

>>17240036
The whole "men don't talk to girls unless they want to fuck them" only applies to arseholes. It isn't weird that your best friend is male, so is mine. Chick here, most of my friends are guys because I'm into a lot of male dominated hobbies and interests. Nothing weird there, and as far as I know, most of them don't want to bone me, and the ones that do are SOL because I'm married.

There was some anon I was arguing with in the last one of these threads about chivalry. At some point he mentioned that there are certain things he doesn't think women can handle hearing. When I tried to ask him what these things were he just said he wasn't going to tell me because he disagreed with how I was arguing. Anyways, does anyone in this thread, male or female, genuinely think there are certain things women can't handle hearing? If so what and why?

>>17240012
We both have tickets to the same concert at the end of the month (I'm really regretting buying them together at this point since they're both sitting in my inbox), so I guess we'll have to talk to each other relatively soon. Thinking about that first initial interaction just made me realize that I'm really not looking forward to it.
But yeah, that's kind of the conclusion I came to too. It's been a lot easier not talking to her than I thought it was going to be, so I'm probably ok with just waiting until she says something or waiting it doesn't feel like I'm waiting for something anymore.
And yeah, thanks again for sticking around

>>17240059
I don't think women are capable of hearing that they cannot keep up with men in every career field.

>>17240059
Depends really, I had a girlfriend who couldn't handle being told that I masturbate, and that porn is something every guy watches..

im sure she was an extreme, and its kinda nit picky so i dont know of it coints

>>17240081
No problem, anxiety is rough and I'm glad I was able to help. It sounds like if you two enjoy the concert together it might put a spark into the friendship again, and if not, then you can always ask another friend and cite the silence. My boyfriend got stood up by a mutual friend of ours for a concert he's supposed to go to tomorrow, and now he's taking me instead because fuck it. Sorry to hear about your troubles though, I hope everything works out for you.

Is it possible for a guy to act very chilvariously/kindly towards a girl he has no intention of fucking/dating?
(Please excuse my bad English)

>>17240059
Oh yes. I don't think any woman could handle if I told them they looked fat or ugly for example.

>>17240101
Yes.

>>17240101
Definitely. I have a good friend who has no romantic intentions with me and he opens the door for me constantly, pays for me when we go to a pub etc. etc. He does this with all women because that's just how he is.

>>17240087
Mostly because that's a pile of bullshit, unless you're talking specifically about being a porn star that's male, a professional sperm donor, or any other profession that uses a dick as part of the operating procedure.

>>17240115
Any physical job involving heavy lifting. Any job requiring a complete lack of drama. Infantry is my go to example for this. Women in the infantry are going to get lots of men KILLED. All because women can't accept that they aren't fit for combat.

>>17240126
I can see what you mean about heavy lifting, but you're completely clueless about the drama part. That doesn't need to happen, you know.

>>17240126
My older sister is a decorated war vet, fuckhead. Also, I'm able to lift over 100 lbs safely, because I fucking work out. Keep your sexist bullshit to yourself.

>>17240059
case of point
>>17240135
>>17240138

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kek

>>17240149
This means absolutely nothing.

>>17240088
Yeah that sounds like an extreme example. Porn I understand, but masturbating? That almost seems obsessive.

Im falling real hard and fast with a girl after our third date. It'd be bad to show that right?

>>17240138
You realize that anyone deployed to a combat zone is a "decorated war vet", right?

Would you be more impressed if a guy is nice to a girl because he wants to date her or a guy who is nice to a girl because she is his friend and he is genuinely being nice?

>>17240153
If the genders were switched it would undoubtedly be one of the "many reasons we still need feminism"

>>17239608
>Do females ever really have guy friends who are attractive, or do they just build a network of backup men?
Shouldn't even need to ask this, haven't you seen how good-looking but gay or autistic/etc men tend to make strong friendships with women? "Gay best friend" is a meme.

I am in the second category myself (schizoid) and have had mainly female friends for the past several years now. But since even I don't know if I'm truly capable of romantic attraction (and don't hide this), any girl who considers me a "backup man" would have to be at least a little insane.

>>17239682
>I have alot of interests that I don't like to talk about or aren't normally interesting to girls, for example I want to live in the canadian wilderness when i'm out of college and like blacksmithing
FYI, western college girls (ie west as in Wyoming) are absolutely interested in this shit.
>My question is at what point is being quiet and not socializing a lot considered weird?
In my experience, at the point where it starts to be noticeable to a stranger walking in the room. For example, let's say 21 people in a classroom, 20 of them are arranged in 5 groups of 4 and are chatting freely (sometimes exclaiming, joking, laughing), yet the remaining person is sitting alone, in silence. That would be noticeable.

>>17240173
Men work the more dangerous jobs, that's all that chart says

>>17240160
>Falling for a girl you're dating
>a bad thing

Has he really changed?
My ex had mental health issues, he would sometimes get so angry that he would destroy stuff. He cheated on me for two years with ex, coworkers, trannies and prostitutes. I left him three months ago and now he is dating "someone really great :)". He says that everything in his life is now better although he quit therapy immediately after I left him cause he didn't see the point in it.
Fuck I just feel so shitty that for some random girl he changed everything but not for me! Can someone really change this much in three months and should I just be happy that he "found the right one" (like he said)?

>>17240195
Get your mind off this guy, at this point this stuff is irrelevant to you directly and only helps to break your brain. Try to move on(like this guy seems to be trying to do), you broke up with him right?
Only time will tell whether or not what he says is true, unless you decide to dig deeper into things.
In my eyes this guy is trying to pick up his life again and he at least tries to make it seem that it is going all right.

>>17240207
Yeah I guess your right. Things are going good for me too so I wish him the best.
I do feel a little suspicious that if he really is able to be honest about his transsexual and prostitute fetish but I think if this new girl is a good match for him, she will be okay with that sort of stuff.
Well, back to no contact.

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>>17239708
>Girls, in your eyes when does confidence turn into arrogance?
In my experience: when they aren't attracted to you.
Don't worry about this though. If you're arrogant/confident enough you already know that not everyone needs to like you. Being polarizing (some love you, some hate you) is a sign that you're doing something right.

>>17239819
>If her boyfriend is particularly jealous/abusive, then she might be avoiding you because she's worried that her infant relationship might suffer.
I'm a tad worried about this with a female friend sometimes: i hesitate to message her shit like "so how's your day/week been" or compliment her too much because it feels a little like i'm intruding on her boyfriend's role.

>>17240171
Neither is particularly impressive. Although it's kind of manipulative if you're not genuine in your intentions when you're being nice to her which is why guys get friendzoned because it's a bait and switch where the girl expects a friend and the guy's like 'lol jk I want a gf"

Girls, if you have an argument with a partner where you are both in the wrong would you rather they apologize or that they refuse to back down?
I feel like apologizing would make me seem weak-willed and girly, while refusing to back down would make me seem confident and manly.

>when does confidence turn into arrogance
it's pretty easy to tell who is actually confident and who is being arrogant. Not the same thing at all. Arrogance is usually self absorbed, obnoxious, rude, try-hard. Will not shut up about themselves. It's where confidence turns into insecurity, and shows as such.

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Girls: My girlfriend struggles with depression and has recently told me that she misses feeling special. Her birthday is coming up and I want to make her feel like the whole world revolves around her. What sort of things can I do? I want to go beyond the usual "flowers, nice food, etc" date thing and really make her feel like she's the most important thing in my life.

>>17239949
As a white guy with dark brown eyes I can tell you that even after reading those posts I'd trade eye-colour with you in a second. Blue is superior.

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>>17240177
And women work the lower paying jobs, that's all current statistics say.

>>17239876
The funny thing is that looking more like a "serial killer rapist" tends to make an already good-looking man more attractive, in my experience. No surprise really, excitement and danger are attractive. Hence why people ride roller coasters and like vampires, right?
My transylvanian grandpa looks a lot like robert patrick (>>17240217) and in his youth he was 9-10/10 by my judgement.

>>17239912
Holy shit stop, i've seen way too many pictures of you. Get some self-confidence. Therapy if needed.
You just look like a generic decently-attractive southern dude and have nothing to worry about.

>>17239999
What works for me is to make it obvious that my efforts aren't totally in vain. It gets old fast when you care about someone and put in the time and energy to talk to them frequently, ask how they've been, etc, when they don't reciprocate at all. Yes, be "extra nice", and then i'd suggest doubling that if you're white (white girls tend to assume guys can read their minds: asian and middle eastern girls often actually tell us shit like "i like talking to you", "that made my day", etc, which makes it feel like our efforts are more appreciated).

>>17240195
lolnope. He's the same, he'll move on to a new girl when this one leaves him too.
Girls are suckers for these guys, he'll always have new victims lined up.
>Fuck I just feel so shitty that for some random girl he changed everything but not for me!
Case in point, lol.

>>17240191
I dont wanna scare her away is what I mean, by me being too into her.

>>17240248
Above all Id say write her something. If youve never given her a love letter, do that.

>>17240160
>>17240265
It makes me deeply sad to read shit like this.
It often seems like sociopaths have just had their way with most people. Convinced you that your emotions make you vulnerable and weak, and that they're disturbing, frightening, or pathetic. That you should be ashamed of them and keep them hidden.

Don't be afraid to show her how you feel. If she's genuinely into you, she'll appreciate it.
And if she's not: better to find out now rather than later, when it'll hurt much more.

Kept in touch with teacher from high school. Is it OK for me to tell him that I learned French as I have a French online friend whom I later visited in France?

>>17239371
Yes

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>>17240281
>Don't be afraid to show her how you feel.
Setting him up for embarrassment. Nice.

Gals and guys, how do you eat out an ass?

>>17240292
The point is that there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Having romantic feelings towards someone you're dating is a good thing. It means you're not both wasting your time and money for nothing.

>>17240341
Emotions are embarrassing and make you vulnerable to be quite honest with you family.

Is it a bad thing for me to learn the first language of my best friend? I am female and I live in Australia while he is male and Hispanic.

>>17240359
No. If you're willing to put in the effort learning another language is great.

>>17240281
I know what you mean, she doesn't seem like that but its just so early on in our relationship is why Im feeling this way I guess.

>>17240359
Languages are great for careers too!

Am I undatable?

I'm a 20 year old female with no experience in bed, and I am quite insecure. I feel hurt, and unwanted if the person I'm seeing doesn't contact me at least once a day to have a nice conversation. I worry that I am too needy and can offer so little in bed, that I won't be able to find someone to have a good relationship with. Has anyone else ever been in my position, and then found someone? How did you do it?

>>17240404
Maybe lower your expectations just a bit, otherwise I don't know why anyone wouldn't date you from what you've given me to interpret.

>>17240404
The bed issues are a non problem imo. That's something that can be fixed with some practice easily. You should definitely work on the needy issue though. Additionally, do you ever initiate contact? I've dealt with some women who reacted the same way, but never left their comfort zone.

>>17240404
You're fine. If somebody is with you, they should be inclined to spend time with you. Just don't necessarily make it a requirement all the time, as sometimes you need your own time to get things done.

Regarding bed.... Honestly, I don't even see the problem. So long as you're trying to make your partner happy, what do you honestly have to fear? Do you really want to be with somebody who is willing to cast you aside because you don't have pornstar-esque skills in bed? Fuck that.

You just need to chill, doggie dog.

>>17240404
>bed problems
Communication, practice, and chilling the fuck out. Talk to each other about what you want and be willing to keep going when something bad or embarrassing happens. Ride his face and accidentally bleed in his mouth? Clean up, laugh it off, and change positions. Vomit on his dick? Same thing. Bad sex comes from not communicating and getting hung up on momentary mistakes.

>I feel hurt, and unwanted if the person I'm seeing doesn't contact me at least once a day to have a nice conversation.

You have to be an active player in this, especially if your partner communicates less than you'd like. You have to initiate conversations. If you initiate and s/he says you're being too clingy, find someone else. There are people out there who want to call you ten times a day and people who feel smothered talking every other day. Go looking and you'll find someone within your own acceptable range.

>>17240404
Oh my goodness you're barely an adult, and this is coming from another 20-year-old virgin girl. Don't sweat it. My boyfriend and I talk throughout every single day because that's what comes naturally to both of us, and he really likes that he's my first and only everything, so you can definitely find someone like that.

I'd say for now just focus on improving yourself and overcoming your insecurities.

>>17240414
>>17240416
>>17240421
>>17240423
Hey, thanks, you all! I'm glad the bed issues aren't so major. I do try and reach out to the other person, but if they don't react well to it, I get very hurt and just withdraw completely because I feel that I can't trust them not to hurt me... which, I suppose, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your responses helped show that I'm probably being impatient. Hopefully I'll meet someone who will be a better fit, soon. Thank you!

>>17240404

The first time I had sex I was so freaking worried. After that the anxiety goes away. I wouldn't worry too much about it

>>17240357
What makes you vulnerable is being embarrassed about them.
Though sometimes I wonder whether i'm psychologically healthier than other schizoids for freely sharing feelings, or even more unhealthy (for avoiding vulnerability even more effectively).

>>17240404
>Am I undatable?
Of course not.
>I'm a 20 year old female with no experience in bed, and I am quite insecure. I feel hurt, and unwanted if the person I'm seeing doesn't contact me at least once a day to have a nice conversation.
As long as you accept that sometimes people physically can't do this (eg have to work an all-day shift at their job, sleeping, etc) and sometimes are just too tired, then it's fine.
People typically like to talk to their SOs, and often hesitate because they don't want to seem too clingy. This is especially funny/sad when both people are doing it.
Though you have to remember to initiate conversations. Think about how you'd feel if you had to start the conversation and keep it going every day.
>I worry that I am too needy and can offer so little in bed, that I won't be able to find someone to have a good relationship with.
Don't worry about it.
>Has anyone else ever been in my position, and then found someone? How did you do it?
Many, many, many girls have been through this. In fact, i'd suspect most femanons here can sympathize at least a little..

>>17240431
>I do try and reach out to the other person, but if they don't react well to it,
Remember to actually ask them how they feel or what they thought about something: oftentimes, we overestimate our ability to "read" others' reactions.

>>17240431
Also, I HIGHLY recommend all phone conversations be had laying in bed, sitting someone quiet, etc. Skyping with someone while you both browse the internet results in distraction, non-listening, and other forms of shit-tier communication without real conversation.

>Has anyone else ever been in my position, and then found someone? How did you do it?

Had my first kiss at 21, lost virginity at 23, at 27 now been in a happy relationship for 3.5 years. Never too late my friend.

>>17240431
It's not problem, little pup.
Just be yourself, and you'll attract somebody that's good for you.

girl here. why do i get turned on when looking at pics of boobs when i am straight?

>>17240440
Well I dunno if I'm schizoid but I'd certainly rather be open like you.

>>17240460

Boobs are naturally erotic. Also they're round shape, I can only assume we as humans are drawn to aethetically pleasing objects and people. Like faces and shit.

>>17240331
So no one has had their anus licked and/or licked an asshole?

>>17240460
Sexuality is a wide spectrum. You can be a mostly straight woman and get off on boobs. You can be a mostly straight man and enjoy particularly well-formed cocks.

>>17240464
You're almost certainly not, just mentioned it since it's interesting: i'm an outlier among people notorious for hiding their feelings or pretending they don't have any.

>>17239708

Confidence is being generally relaxed and secure.
Arrogance is thinking you're a legend who can do no wrong.

Confidence is being okay with screwing up and being open to making amends or improvements where necessary.
Arrogance is thinking you can't possibly screw up or that it doesn't matter if you do.

Girls: Please recommend me some nice ways to treat my gf. She does so much for me and i want to give back. Usually i invite her for a fancy dinner or something, but i feel like this is getting old.

>>17240143

There's a difference between not being able to handle something and simply disagreeing.
It sounds like you're the one who can't handle this topic considering you're not attempting to refute these claims.

girls; do you get "wet" as often as us guys get erections?

>>17240173
>>17240149

You realise feminists are what got women into the military, right? Feminism is about equality, not getting the good shit for women and leaving all the rest.
A disproportionate amount of men dying on the job is, more likely than not, a feminist issue.
Especially when men tend to be the gatekeepers here. You can't play the victim card that your gender is being disproportionately injured and killed while simultaneously reinforcing an attitude that this is the way it has to be because women just aren't up to snuff or don't belong there.

No shit that the gender who, a few decades ago, was lucky to be hired as a typist, hasn't broken very far into more dangerous fields.

I grew up in a society where seeing something as seeminly tame as female surveyors and the like was just normal, to the point that it wouldn't occur to me that anyone living today would think of it as an issue. Meanwhile, my mother grew up in a time where that was completely unthinkable, and seeing women working that way today is a novelty that she's amazed she lived to see.
That's only 30 years of difference.
By the time my own children are old enough to have arguments on the internet, this graph might very well seem alien to them.

>>17240701
i don't know how often guys get erections so I can't answer this

but it doesn't happen often. only for specific reasons.

>>17240222

Apologise.
Refusing to back down makes you look like an insecure child. Being so concerned about how manly you look, rather than being concerned about being a good person or partner, just makes you look pathetic.

If you both are in the wrong, you both need to apologise. End of story.
If you do so, without guarantee that your partner will too, THAT'S confidence. If your partner doesn't return the favour, that's them being a dick. Which is what you'll be if you don't apologise.

Seriously, why would anybody WANT their partner to not apologise when they're in the wrong?

Didn't you learn this shit when you were a child? Did your parents not force you and your friends to apologise to each other when you got into fights?

>>17240710
>Feminism is about equality, not getting the good shit for women and leaving all the rest.
This is a meme, not reality. Feminists don't talk about male workplace deaths, male circumcision, male suicide rates, young men dropping out of society or anything that disadvantages young men.

>>17240750

Then why don't you take up the reigns? Feminism involves a fuckload of issues and everyone can't focus on all of them at once.
If you think there should be more focus on issues that affect men, quit sitting around complaining like some kinda of woman and actually join the fight.
Literally nothing is stopping you. To sit here and bitch instead of doing something is even worse than the women and minorities who complain about lack of representation in media without actually putting in the effort to become successful themselves.

>>17240757
I'm just saying you're wrong and feminists are blatant hypocrites.

>>17240757
>>17240750
Both of you shut the fuck up. Nobody knows what percentage of feminists are egalitarians and what percentage are man-hating SJWs, so arguing about it is utterly pointless.

>>17240760

But I'm not. There is literally nothing stopping you from tackling these issues yourself. The fact that not all feminist are devoting time to them (and many definitely are) doesn't make them hypocrites.
Some certainly are, because you don't need a licence to call yourself a feminist and any gold digging whore can paint herself as robin hood if she wants to. But the core belief is equality, and if you refuse to take part in that fight, quit bitching that other people aren't doing it for you.

>>17240765
Well they say actions speak louder than words, but these feminists don't even talk about male issues.

>>17240767
I don't have to be an activist or even opposed to feminists to point out their hypocrisy so fuck off with the "just do it urself" non sequitur. You say many feminists are egalitarian but when was the last time you saw a feminist politician, actor, or any other prominent individual point out male issues? It's a rare occurrence because they're heavily biased towards helping women. Sure we don't know what every individual thinks but these people have the support of the population so we can assume that their ideas are mostly accepted.

How many guys does the average girl sleep with in college? I was talkiing to one girl and she said she's been with 30 guys and God gangbanged at a party, while most of her friends had 20 or more.

I tend to avoid college women now, we've all heard the stories.

>>17240788
>How many guys does the average girl sleep with in college?
Who knows really? Most won't give you an honest number.

>>17240781

So fucking what? If I make movies but never talk about action movies, does that make me a hypocrite, or does it make me someone who's personally more interested in science fiction?

Anyone can call themselves a feminist and fight for mens issues. There is nothing stopping people from doing that. It's not everyone else's job to do it for you. People fight for what they personally care about. It's not up to every individual to fight for ever possible issue.

Added to that, many of womens' issues ARE mens' issues. Fighting for women in the military also by default addresses the issue of men being objectified as disposable vessels of physical strength. Fighting for womens' right to work by default addresses the stigma against men being stay at home fathers, the issue of women being paid unnecessary alimony, etc, and as mentioned before, the issue of disproportionate deaths of males at work, which will likely even out as women get further and further into the workforce.
There are only two groups in play here, and it's a pretty clear push and pull. You can't improve one side without impacting the other, whether you call it fighting for women or fighting for men.

>>17240805
>It's not everyone else's job to do it for you.
You keep bringing this up like it's relevant. I'm not trying to change things and I never pretended I was, I'm just pointing out their bias.
>helping women helps men
Just kill yourself already.

I have question to femanon. Is there a possibility to rebuild trust in a Woman, after you pushed her away ?

>>17240810
>I'm just pointing out their bias.
Which doesn't exist, except in certain individuals.

>>17240794
I just assume 20+ if she went to college, 10 to 20 if she didn't.

Could be way higher though, party/club every weekend = 52 weeks a year 52 * 4 = 208

>>17240460
Probably a combination between exposure (you appreciate things you see more often more, and look at how many boobs are in ads, movies etc) and boobs just being awesome.

>>17240662
Give her a massage, cook for her, get her a thoughtful little gift (like a favorite novel of yours with a personal inscription, a love letter, flowers, something that reminded you of her), send her occasional cute texts like how you suddenly thought of her smile and can't wait to see her again. Don't just compliment her but specify what you admire in her, appreciate about how she treats you, what is endearing about her mannerisms. Listen closely to what she tells about her days/mood so you can work with that and cheer her up, help her relax, go on a fun adventure with her to blow off steam etc.

>>17240701
I have no idea what would be average for a guy and it is also harder to tell because while there's a point where I can tell I'm drenched, if you're just turned on and feeling your crotch tingle it can be difficult to know exactly whether you are already wet or not. I do regularly get turned on by seeing strange men (particularly do a certain thing like fidget with their belt or something).

>>17240840
>Which doesn't exist, except in certain individuals.
Very convincing, thank you.

>>17240788
Can only answer with anecdotal evidence, in college and slightly older college age (23), my friends are 22 to 24. Two of my friends have slept with 15-25 men (from both of them this was the most straight answer I got, both said they didn't keep a real number and this was their estimate). Two of my friends slept with three men. One with two, one with one. One is a virgin and I've been with one man.

It really depends on the person. For a crude judgment I'd say, there's always exceptions but if a girl loves to party there's a higher chance she hooked up with a lot of people.

>>17240872
I'm talking to this girl (like serious talking, probably gonna be dating) and she's been with 6 guys. Which seems low as fuck since she's in a sorority which is already a huge red flag for me.

>>17240872
>have slept with 15-25 men
revolting but they'll still hook themselves a nice beta when the time is right

>>17240883
That's hard for me to judge. Where I live joining a sorority (a real "Greek life" type sorority, not just playing board games together while having a few glasses of wine) is not the standard move and typically a sign of someone wanting the full YOLO college experience. But at least from stories about the US I always got the vibe that joining a sorority is just expected and only outliers don't do it (perhaps incorrect?). I'd say place value on it depending on how significant that choice was compared to the norm. And of course you can ask her about her experience, get to hear how she feels about hook up culture there.

Other than that, six guys seems pretty normal to me for what I presume to be an early twenties girl. I know as a guy it's easy to picture women involved in orgies all the damn time, but people live all kinds of lives, it's not that straightforward. It's just rare that you get a chance to affirm or falsify your first assumption in this case because it's such personal info.

>>17240884
Eh, one of them is actually a lesbian who just went for guys a lot because it was easier and felt less personal (as she didn't feel strong attraction anyway). I never got the impression that body count is such a big deal in the lesbian community.
The other one is one of the most radiant, attractive people I have even seen in my life, I doubt she's going to have a hard time finding someone crazy about her.

>>17240891
Deal breakers for me are:

>had sex with a black man
>had sex with more than 10 people
>tattoos

All signs if poor judgement, and studies have shown that women who sleep with many men are not loyal, more likely for divorce, etc.

>>17240894
Seriously, having had sex with a black guy means you have bad judgment?

But other than that, sure, whatever dealbreakers you want. But most people do not live their life with the aim of not scaring anyone off with their choices or behavior. People pick up habits all the time that are detrimental to their health, attractiveness and so on. You can't please everyone, some people are bound to not impressed with you anyway.

>>17240898
If she dated a black guy for a long period then I'm okay with that, but just fucking a black guy"because I want to try it" is a bad sign.

>>17240904
Whatever your take on it is. What you describe doesn't seem significantly different to me from just having a one night stand because you want to find out what that's like, or want to sleep with a girl out of bicuriosity.

>>17240331
>>17240481
The same way you'd eat a girl out, more or less, only it's more straightforward. Just use your tongue to stimulate the anus, alternate more floppy limp licks with tensing your tongue for different sensations. Bury your face in her ass and grab her firmly to make her feel that it's turning you on, you love her ass etc. You can stick your tongue inside if you wish but there's never a guarantee that she's going to be 100% clean so be prepared to shrug that off if you want to go in.

Just wondering girls' opinions on guys eating their own cum. Not sitting in the corner, wanking and eating their own cum. But fucking you, creampie, eat you out; or maybe cum in your mouth and kiss?

Is it something you girls secretly would be super turned on by or weirded out? I've never eaten my own cum but if it ever turned my (hopefully) future gf or wife on, I'd consider doing it every blue moon

>>17240948
I can't talk universally for women, and no doubt some would be a bit put off by it, but that sounds extremely hot to me. It's just one less thing that can be a turn off or create a tense moment during sex. I was lucky enough to only have experience with someone who was not remotely squeamish about kissing me after oral etc (though no snowballing sadly, I tried), but if I hear that some guys make a fuss over that, that seems so utterly unattractive.

I like when you feel like you're so wrapped up in what happens that a bit of bodily fluid more or less is a non-issue. Also feels more primal, more passionate. And it would just be sexy to me to see a man do something that's not considered stereotypically macho and not give a fuck because it feels good in the moment. Even if it would be an exception it would feel nice to me to know it doesn't gross him out unimaginably.

Same question for both:

If a complete stranger from the opposite gender saw you at the grocery store and watched you, then came and PRETENDED to help you check stuff out (as if I needed help to scan some barcodes -.-) then came close and put their ARM AROUND YOURS and PRETENDING to help you - WOULD YOU BE PISSED OF LIKE ME? This seriously felt like unwanted touching, but I was okay because they tricked me into thinking they were being nice but I realized this person was just feeling up my arm and touching me without my consent.

This makes me mad, not just because they sexually felt my arm, but they PRETENDED to be nice and help me just to flirt. What a dick move that was, so in other words they are manipulative assholes.

>>17240959
Yeah, it would piss me off.

>>17240959
Prolly be annoyed yeah.

>>17240460
Because "straight" for women is more of a preference than an orientation.

>>17240404
Nah guys tend to like blank slates. The neediness is a turn off to some but there's a good number that will put up with it or even find it endearing.

>>17240958
Fuck.

I'm literally open to a lot of things sexually. I'm a pretty based person I'd say. Also pretty attractive I'd say. But always just consider myself too 'unprepared' to have a gf

I just want my own house, to be financially stable, provide 100% for myself and then I'd feel like I'm ready. But this mindset has probably made me miss out on years of fun, fuuuuuuck

I can't help but live logically, rationally and just constantly seem to isolate myself because it's what I know best, the least stressful, most comfortable way to live


:((

>>17240788
I'm 23, in college.
One of my friends had around 15 partners, two had around 7, five had 2. One of them is virgin. I had one partner.

>>17240959

That's gross and would piss me off completely.

>>17240966
Yeah, this is not the right mindset. Chances are that you are never going to feel "done". The things that seem very impressive to you now will seem less important. Just like you no doubt have accomplished things now (like moving out or saving money) that you couldn't when you were younger, but you still don't feel like a capable adult. The goalposts keep shifting.

The best way to start a great relationship is to do things that nurture you as a person, enable you to have fun and grow, to delve deeper into what interests you and makes you enthusiastic, whether that's learning, travel, creativity, interacting with all kinds of different people, pushing yourself past a mental block and so on. You can't put your life on hold and expect a stranger to fall in love with someone who is not feeling passion in life and just going through the motions to get to an end goal.

There's no point in worrying about fun not had, it happened, it's part of your past now, embrace it. But you can decide to live your life differently in the near future. Realize that your logic and ratio only work in a shallow sense of being sensible and achieving things that have status in society. Not for living the fullest or most enjoyable life... And realize that you can't expect to spend years in isolation, then get into a relationship and be wrapped up in someone else all the time without getting a backlash from all the years you spent not investing in your social skills and understanding of human relationships. A relationship itself is no static goal but something you learn along the way that keeps evolving and changing.

>>17240710
(Just to point out I'm >>17240173 and I haven't replied to you prior to this)

I was poking fun at how hypocritical modern feminists are. Even most anti-feminist that don't hate women can admit that feminism has gotten women very far. Enough to the point where the are equal, if not more so than men in the western world. People talk about the crazy SJW feminists like they're just some vocal minority and that may be true, yet they're the ones people seem to listen to these days. The ones complaining about manspreading and how women look in video games(not to mention the fucking "wage gap") get the most attention and praise, while the few feminists who do fight or men's right are written off as having "internalized misogyny" or just get little to no attention. You mention there's literally nothing stopping men from standing up and trying to talk about these issues, yet have you seen any of those videos of feminists shutting down men's right meetings by pulling fire alarms or calling in bomb threats not mention women literally laughing when men try to bring up some sort of legislation to fix these problems. How about the countless articles written about how "evil" and "sexist" they all are are even writing an SNL skit making fun of them. But if you'd rather complain about the "rape culture" we live in which very well may be real actually considering the fact that men legally "couldn't be raped" until recently. Fuck you.

>>17240984
>yet have you seen any of those videos of feminists shutting down men's right meetings
MRAs are not the same thing as feminists who advocate for mens rights.
MRAs are misogynists first, advocates second, and completely fail to acknowledge that the cause of male and female inequalities are the exact sme fucking thing. They just bitch and moan about women and make it "us vs them" when really they're both on the same side.
I don't condone feminazi actions, but as far as I'm concerned, feminazis and MRAs deserve each other. Hopefully they all grow the fuck up some day.

>But if you'd rather complain about the "rape culture" we live in which very well may be real actually considering the fact that men legally "couldn't be raped" until recently. Fuck you.
The reality of male victimisation in sexual crimes is something I've literally only ever seen brought up in feminist circles, and it's brought up a lot.
The only people I've ever seen to deny that men can be victimised this way are men.
Obviously it's a problem, but feminism is not the enemy, it's the solution.

Girls

Would you be ok with your boyfriend taking a lot of trips? Like if he wanted to go all over using money that he has been saying for years. He would be glad to have you come along, but unfortunately you don't have the time or money for it. Would you be ok with him doing his travels without you?

>>17240978
That was some fucking good advice, bravo, very well written.

I just feel so used to being alone, it's literally how I've lived most of my life. Probably has something to do with letting people into my life makes me vulnerable to their criticism, bad upbringing; I could probably blame a lot of things but at the end of the day it's a problem with me. But the thing is I don't really view it as a problem too much, which might be the problem.

Ignorance is bliss sort of mind set.

I've had no one who truly loved me, I've never truly loved someone, never had sex, never invested my feelings into someone else in such a vulnerable manner as sex or a relationship. And because I've never really experienced any of these feelings or whatnot I barely ever notice what I'm missing out on.

It's not until I watch a romantic movie, romantic scene or just see/experience something, anything that I can sort of empathise in that sort of way with. When something like that happens, which is sort of rare, then I start to ponder about what I'm missing out on.

But for the majority of my hours I guess I just embrace being alone.

Might just never have a girl who I can fully open up to in every/any way, the fear of doing that and getting fucked over just scares me too much I guess. Half the time I just think that all the girls my age (18), in my area, just the girls I come across are so fucking superficial and aren't mature enough for that much vulnerability. Maybe that's why I'm waiting to get more stable financially, because with that comes age and other people who are more stable, mature and looking for full vulnerable relationships.

Wish I could just read minds or something, fuck.

Okay, so I have a question. Don't know if I'm uptight or if you'd feel this way too.

I'm female, perceived as relatively good-looking, I get hit on 10-15 times on a night out (the majority of them being slimebags, though) and most of my male friends have fallen in love with me, for some reason. I actually don't think I'm that hot, but I'm pretty funny, and a 5/10 in looks and 5/10 in personlity apparently makes a 10/10.

Anyway. I've had very few sexual partners, I'm very shy around men. My last serious relationship was my ex, we were both virgins when we met. I'm now dating someone. He's amazing and hilarious. Not the best-looking guy, but I'm really into him. However, he's a lot more experienced than I am, which is fine, I guess. But he talks about sex with other women, a lot. Not necessarily in detail, and it's mostly funny, but it makes me feel like shit. Like when I was embarrased because I'm quite noisy in bed, he was like "my roomie has heard me get laid a 1000 times, nothing to worry about!" I just didn't feel very... Special? He also told me one of his exes gave head twice a day, but stopped me quite quickly when I tried to give him head (feels_badman.jpg). I feel pretty inadequate.

I don't wanna sound like a faggot from /r9k/ complaining the guy I'm dating is a male roastie, and I know rationally I shouldn't give a fuck. But hearing about all the women he fucked (who were probably a lot better than me in bed) make my stomach hurt and make me feel like shit. Is it normal for guys to share these things? If I talk about past experiences, he seems pissed off and hurt. My best friend thinks it's insecurity because I'm more attractive than him, but he seems very confident.

>>17240994
Sounds like you just read a jezebel article about MRAs and made your conclusion. At least I can admit a lot of feminists aren't man-hating SJWs.

>The reality of male victimisation in sexual crimes is something I've literally only ever seen brought up in feminist circles, and it's brought up a lot.

I'm not denying feminists talk about but just because you've only seen discussion in feminist circles doesn't mean those are the only people who talk about it.

>The only people I've ever seen to deny that men can be victimised this way are men.

Men and women both say it and you know it. Just because you don't see something doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

>Obviously it's a problem, but feminism is not the enemy, it's the solution.

Kek, sure it is.

>>17241012
Ah, I had pictured you around early twenties or mid twenties. You are still really young. High school isn't that great an experience for plenty of folks, make no mistake. Even people who seem to have had lots of life experiences compared to you, will likely look back on these years as containing a lot of boredom and disappointment.
When you get a bit older, your peers will become more independent, have more money to spend, less parental restrictions and they will become more secure in themselves and less annoyingly attention/validation seeking. The really good part still has to come so don't worry about wasting your youth away or any of that.

But you are absolutely right in that letting people in always make you vulnerable. No one can disappoint or hurt you the way someone beloved and close to your heart can. But if you abstain from these relationships (deep friendships and romance relationships) you will miss out on a vital part of life, a part that to many people gives color and warmth to their memories and adds depth to their perspective on people and life. So you'll have to take the plunge and learn to deal with the losses and set backs. These are also great opportunities for character growth. You're a person, not some brand new car that devalues with a scratch and some miles on it. If you do it right, living will make you a more interesting, understanding and insightful person. Making mistakes and having things collapse under your hands is part of the journey.
And you don't have to head straight for a relationship, reaching out to people you feel interested in and connected to and see where that leads is a good step. Good luck!

>>17241015
No, he's being insensitive. Point out to him that if he dislikes hearing about your experiences from the past, he can empathize enough to know what information to keep to himself. Spell it out for him that it makes you feel unspecial and unappreciated to feel like he is comparing you to a hall of fame of women past. No one wants to think about their lover having had sex "a thousand times" when having an intimate moment. You want to pretend the rest of the world does not exist. This should be a message easy enough to explain to him. If he doesn't get it at all, that shows he either has a very low emotional intelligence or ultimately cares more about rubbing in what a stud he is than about tending to your feelings in the relationship.

So I just found out that the hostfamily that I will stay with smokes.Is this a redflag and should this be a dealbreaker?

>>17241055
Depends, can you get more information? If they step outside to smoke it's hardly an issue, if they smoke indoors... yuck.

>>17241057
I think they smoke outside? Like based on the info we were sent it says that smoking is only allowed outside.
But still... I tend to stereotype people who smoke as losers and whatever.

>>17241022
>Sounds like you just read a jezebel article about MRAs and made your conclusion. At least I can admit a lot of feminists aren't man-hating SJWs.
More like I used to be one when I was a teenager. They are the PETA of elgatarianism (who I also foolishly signed on with when I was young and pissed off).

>At least I can admit a lot of feminists aren't man-hating SJWs.
The MRAs who aren't like that usually end up realising they were feminists all along, and drop the former label.

>I'm not denying feminists talk about but just because you've only seen discussion in feminist circles doesn't mean those are the only people who talk about it.
I'm not denying it's talked about elsewhere either, just that it's something feminists absolutely advocate for, and in my view feminism's the realistic solution.

>>17241058
I don't know where this host family lives but at least where I live (Western Europe) all kinds of people smoke. Maybe if it fits an overall pattern of red flags but by itself...

>>17241065
I will visit southern Europe. I have a friend from that country and he said a lot of people smoke there

>>17241055
if this host family is in western europe, it's not weird for old people to smoke

>>17241022
Just leaving you this.

>>17241046
Thanks for all your advice.

I think I'm just going to focus on doing what I want a bit more. Learn a language (something that I've always wanted to do), try in Uni and finish my degree and then start maybe actively looking for something meaningful from then on.

In the meantime I'll just focus on improving myself, keeping my friendships and then whatever good comes from all of that so be it.

A question before you go that I'd love to get a truthful answer for, females and masturbation.Most guys masturbate once every couple of days, and most at the least once a week. Yet when you ask girls you get answers like never, once a month, barely ever, every now and again and a bunch of shit like that. I know there's a stigma to it all for some reason but what do you think would be the truthful average?

>>17241066
Yeah, then I'd disregard it unless other details gave you an off feeling.

>>17241066
everyone smokes in southern europe

>>17241073
Sounds really solid, good luck! I'm not a native in English and find speaking another language to be extremely rewarding. It also shifts your perspective a bit because there's always a different nuance in how topics are seen or approached embedded in the language, words that have no exact translation etc. Really interesting.

I don't dare to call a truthful average for female masturbation. It is absolutely more complicated than for men, also because it is common for girls to have a hard time figuring themselves out. Of course there exists girls who learn to hump pillows as a kid and never stop, but it's also not uncommon for a girl in her late teens to have had sex with guys but to never have experienced an orgasm. There are women who feel icky touching their own bits and women who proudly own an array of toys and feel sexy masturbating.
If I'm going to do blanket statements I feel that for women, sex drive is less of a straightforward carnal urge than for men. I think that it is common for women to have their sex drive fluctuate - eg, they love sex in a relationship, but don't really miss it when single. Or they masturbate a lot during a specific part of their menstrual cycle, but don't even think about it during the other weeks. Personally average would probably be 1-3 times a week, but I go through dry spells where I don't masturbate for a few weeks without giving it much thought, and upswings where I masturbate 1-5 times daily for a while. This has to do with hormones but also with whether I got flirted with or noticed looks, whether I'm feeling happy and bouncy or sullen, whether I feel vital in general. I think this is fairly normal. I also know that all of my friends I spoke to about it masturbate, though I never probed to ask to what extent (have to uphold the image of decency somehow).

>>17241087
I know. That is what my friend said (well not everyone but a lot of people do)

>>17241101
Something else to consider is the "responsive sex drive". If you google this you'll find some articles about female desire. They mention that some women have absolutely no issue getting aroused after being seduced/stimulated, but do not experience spontaneous arousal the way men typically do. So in a relationship that would translate to: I never spontaneously feel like having sex, but I can often/always be made to feel in the mood. This is something I have at least online seen many women refer to as recognizable, which would mean that despite having a healthy sex drive and interest in sex, masturbation is not that, literally, tempting.

As for the psychological aspect, some women relish in the sexy image of female masturbation, and others are hung up on the whole covert "good girls don't like sex" message and feel guilty for having "slutty" fantasies or desiring orgasms just for the sake of orgasms, no romance or intimacy involved. So for some this is a hang up as well, particularly if they come from a religious/conservative background, that weighs heavier on girls sexually on average because people just care less what men do in that regard.

So I get that this isn't a very satisfying straightforward reply, but I don't think it's a straightforward matter and of course there are hardly official statistics. I guess it would boil down to: some women have a complicated relationship with it physically, some women find the mental associations troubling, many women don't experience as consistent and physical a sexual need as men do, but ultimately most women do seem to masturbate so I think if the cultural hang ups were no issue and the genitalia were more simple that would close the "gap" still. If I had to guess I'd say once every week and a half would be my estimate. Including both nymphos and girls who never do it.

Hope you got something out of this rambling, I'm off indeed but might see the thread later. Good luck with the language!

>>17241101
You write very well in English for not being a native speaker, didn't even notice tbqh.

And I guess that makes sense. Men evolutionarily are made to fuck anything that moves in order to pass on their genes. Where as women are more inclined to nurture and be more monogamous. So it makes sense that the sex drive is lower or as >>17241115 mentioned, it is more selective.

Another thing do you think that watching porn with your partner would be a good or a bad thing? I've heard that most men and women, even when they're in a relationship will continue to masturbate every now and again.

Only makes sense to me that if you're going to masturbate and watch some porn you might as well let your significant other join in.

will meet internet friend soon in a tourist area when visiting his city. is it ok if i ask him for a piggyback ride? i think it is pretty clear that both of us think of each other in a platonic manner but just want to be sure that this is ok

>>17241175
>will meet internet friend soon in a tourist area when visiting his city. is it ok if i ask him for a piggyback ride? i think it is pretty clear that both of us think of each other in a platonic manner but just want to be sure that this is ok

its p weird but i think if he's strong enough he'd say yah.

>>17241175

Why do you want a piggyback ride?

>>17241217
seems fun
I like the idea of a brother-like friend

>>17241004

girls? Anyone?

>>17241273
I'd be okay with it. As long as I trust him - which I suppose I do, otherwise I wouldn't be with him - then it's fine. I guess I'd feel a little sad, but who am I to stop him from traveling if he's been saving for so long for this purpose specifically?

>>17241280

ok. I've been avoiding getting a girlfriend the past few years for this reason. Because I would feel a bit guilty. But I learned I can't wait on anyone because if I do, I'll never get to travel.

First I suppose I should start with some background. I have borderline personality disorder caused by both genetics and the fact that in a short time span I was repeatedly molested by my older brother and then my biological father died. As such, I have a lot of emotional instability and insecurity caused by this disease. I have worked through a lot of my problems since first learning I had this disease, and have overcome most of my anxiety. However, the depression and anger caused by the disease still stand out strongly, to the point where they affect my relationships. I recently started dating this girl (6 months ago) and we fell in love pretty quickly. Things were going swimmingly. We were best of friends, have a lot in common, find each other irresistibly attractive, and the sex was intense, satisfying, and frequent. However, I was recently kicked out of my house by my adoptive father (formerly step father), and due to financial problems I have been staying with my girlfriend in her house for over a month now. The trauma of losing my father figure (we no longer communicate) again, changing my living situation, stress from working constantly, and now living with her tyrant of a father (inb4 daddy issues) is causing my borderline to become out of control. I have begun picking fights with her all the time, demanding sex, being too clingy, etc. And she recently talked with me and told me that if things don't get better that we're over. I realized that my anger is the root cause of my suffering, nd have been making a conscious effort to curtail it. Things have gotten better. She is now affectionate with me again, desiring to cuddle and make out and has begun to regularly tell me that she loves me again. One problem. The sex has not returned. I understand that the recent stress of all of this piled on with her father and other issues ( she recently gained some weight and is unhappy with her body in spite of me telling her that I think she is absolutely beautiful)

>>17241296
So other than that wall of text, a tl;dr is:
I have borderline personality disorder
I get mad and sexually frustrated easily
How can I address my sexal frustration in a way that is respectful and honest to my partner (aka no cheating)?
Willing to seek therapy for anger and willing to masturbate regularly.

>>17241309

masturbate every morning as soon as you get out of bed. like, before your even fully awake. Slide out of bed, and masturbate even if you're not horny. It will kill your sex drive and mellow you out for the majority of the day.

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Girls:

My gf and I got on the topic of bdsm and she said some troubling things.

I think this is a redflag and I feel hirt and betrayed. She said shes taking sessions with a mistress training her to be a dom. She made a comment that she learned how guys are more harsh and genuine at being doms, which makes me think she tried it with other guys. she says shes just practicing. then she backtracked and said she never did. Am I overreacting? I consider this cheating and I just learned about it.

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>>17241399
wrong pic

>>17241132
It completely depends on the couple. It can be a very fun and intimate experience, but some find it odd and don't find masturbation sexy. Others like the idea but just find it a bit comical to watch together when it comes down to it, like you suddenly notice all the silliness of porn because someone's looking over your shoulder so to speak. It's definitely a fairly vanilla thing to suggest, though, whether she's receptive or not.

Thanks!

>>17241399
You get to establish the boundaries in your relationship together. It isn't cheating (or not) objectively because there are no objective norms, what's fine for one couple crossed the line for another and that's the way it should be. It reflects the nature of the relationship. However you say you only just found this out. I think it's worth looking at how much "deception" she had to commit in order for you to not realize she did this until now. Also how intimate these sessions are, including all forms of training. The comment about guys being harsher as a dom could be something her mistress told her or something she observed in the past, of all the things that doesn't stand out to me as a red flag. What does stand out to me most is backpedaling about whether she did or did not do something.

You have to get across to her that she is doing something sexual, without informing you and hearing your thoughts about it, and being shady about what she did or did not do exactly. If she can't see eye to eye with you and agree that this is troubling for you, I don't see the point, she just wants to run away for the implications of what she's doing. If she does you have an opening for a sincere conversation about what your version of being exclusive entails.

>>17241403
Not a conversation you should be having online, and you should not try to brush off your discomfort (sounds like that's what you were doing). This is something plenty of people would not be okay with, you're not a bad boyfriend for telling her you don't want her to be spanked. That it's not sex doesn't mean it's not sexual.

>>17241403

Yeah... That's not ok. At all.

>>17241309
Yeah this is a sure fire way to kill your relationship, and definitely the sexual part. Like all things sex is relaxing and pleasant until it becomes a must that you need to check off. By putting this kind of pressure on her you are very likely to damage her interest in sex with you and your sexual appeal to her. A lover is someone you want to desire, not someone who nags you for sex like it's a chore you're putting off when you're not into it for a moment.

You obviously need to seek out therapy with this background and diagnosis. If nothing else it will help you to actively work on your issues and ponder upon your personal development with someone else. Indeed masturbate a lot and try to change your mindset as much as possible. Try to enjoy feeling a bit aroused with the mindset that sooner or later, you are going to fuck her, she's your girlfriend. Try to see her father as someone who poses a challenge to adjust to but gave you an awesome opportunity by taking you on. Obviously these are long term goals but better to invest now and learn it the slow way then waiting for her to be done with your shit, for you to be kicked out again and without any partner.

And yes, masturbate more, or learn to edge or get yourself a fancy fleshlight, whatever alleviates the immediate urge.

>>17241420
I love her so much but I dont want to become a guy who is fine with this shit. I think I'll cut it off.

I wrote this to her:

I'm confused about this. idk if you ever did it or not. You said u learned guys are more genuine or whatever, then u backtracked and said u never tried it. The fact that you seem to think its not cheating as long as its not sex makes me worry. The fact that you fucking considered that shit with a guy when u are in a committed relationship is very worrying. I think bdsm stuff is hot too and yeah maybe i don't fucking understand the art of it but I feel like its an intimate thing that only WE should do together. Sorry if I'm being stuck up or territorial. I really don't see you as the type to cheat, and I doubt and really hope I'm right. You're just telling me confusing things and idk. I don't wanna lose you but I don't want u doing things that you know will hurt me behind my back and just not tell me. i also dont want to hold u back from doing what u want. I hate the fact u try to downplay my fucking feelings and react with or name calling. I fucking love you so much but I'm afraid that fact will make me just stay with u and just take it when you hurt me. I think this is goodbye.

If a guy says he likes to party and drink in your country, does this imply sex tourism?

>>17241516
*imply that he is into sex toirism
Context is I met a male coworker from the states in my country

>>17241069
???

Did you take issue with what I said? Maybe you could add something to the discussion instead shitposting.

>>17241515

Godspeed, anon.

>>17241522
Shitposting is feminist 101

Girls

this girl I'm friends with says my name, a lot. Whenever we text she always types my name. Like "good morning A*****! :)" or "A*****! look at this it's so funny!" I don't mind it at all, she does it very often. I'm just curious, does this have any significance? why would a girl so frequently use a guys name?

>>17241420

I wrote this to her:

I'm confused about this. idk if you ever did it or not. You said u learned guys are more genuine or whatever, then u backtracked and said u never tried it. The fact that you seem to think its not cheating as long as its not sex makes me worry. The fact that you fucking considered that shit with a guy when u are in a committed relationship is very worrying. I think bdsm stuff is hot too and yeah maybe i don't fucking understand the art of it but I feel like its an intimate thing that only WE should do together. Sorry if I'm being stuck up or territorial. I really don't see you as the type to cheat, and I doubt and really hope I'm right. You're just telling me confusing things and idk. I don't wanna lose you but I don't want u doing things that you know will hurt me behind my back and just not tell me. i also dont want to hold u back from doing what u want. I hate the fact u try to downplay my fucking feelings and react with or name calling. I fucking love you so much but Im afraid that fact might make me be okay with being hurt and return for more. I think this is the end bb. I hate the idea of not spending my life with you but I feel like its for the best.

If a guy says he likes to party and drink in your country, does this imply he is into sex tourism? He is a male coworker from the states who is now in my country

>>17241522
Relax, I was keeping multiple tabs and completely blanked on not actually including the link. Only seeing it now. https://features.wearemel.com/i-was-a-men-s-rights-activist-55a0d2eb6052#.xshfygib5

Obviously it's just one guy's perspective, but it goes to show that men are in academic feminism much more recognized than shit tier sites like Jezebel (which is really just the equivalent of the red pill more or less) suggest. Though I don't argue that it could be better still.

>>17241541
Some people do this more than others in general. Could be normal in the household she grew up in. I wouldn't draw any conclusion.

>>17241547

Hang in there.

>>17241062
>They are the PETA of elgatarianism (who I also foolishly signed on with when I was young and pissed off).
What's wrong with egalitarianism?

>The MRAs who aren't like that usually end up realising they were feminists all along, and drop the former label.
I'm not denying that this has happened but how can you "realize you were a feminist all along"? I hate this "if u wnt equality u r ltrly a feminist" bullshit. I'm don't want to align myself with a mostly toxic organization that continues to lie and hype up the slightest negative things as "issues". I'm not saying MRA's are perfect, hell I sure don't identify as one. But if we start to see a big shift in these male issues it may not be due to MRA's but I sure as hell don't think it
will be due to feminism

>in my view feminism's the realistic solution.
That's fair, but the only problem is I've never heard of feminists having much success at all when talking about men's issues.

>>17241541
It can mean something. Can you find out whether she does this with other people as well or just with you?

>>17241541
I do this with a guy coz he likes to create all these puns with his surnames

>>17241565

I'm not sure if she does

My girlfriend is going through an grey asexual phase currently, but recently she's been talking about wanting to go to Sybaris for a weekend. Going to one of these places you expect to have sex everywhere. How do I say I'd rather not spend $300 for a weekend if there's no chance of having said sex?