tits or ass?

both genders can answer

>>17236546

Whatever tits really. I prefer a shapely ass. A flat ass looks much less appealing. Panty lines look all fucked up on no ass.

>>17236546
Ass> tits

As in: your tits should never be bigger than your ass

>>17236546
I prefer a nice tight looking ass. Not too skinny or fat, but looks like she takes care of herself. As far as tits anything goes as long as they're perky.

But face will always be most important to me desu

Should I be bothered that my gf wearing a shirt that she adopted from her ex-fiancè? Meaning he wore it to some capacity.

>>17236625
Depends on how comfortable the shirt is. When in doubt, "accidentally" spill bleach on it when you're doing the wash

>>17236628
She did say it was a cozy shirt. She seems to keep things that her exes gave her, but I haven't seen this shirt in the year we've been together.

>>17236540
How do I ask a girl out? Like, how should I say it? Any good place? [spoiler]Is the newly opened iHOP in my country a good date place[/spoiler]?

>>17236738
Keep it casual and say "Hey, you wanna hang out sometime?"

>>17236698
>>17236628

Don't do what that anon said. Even if she feels nothing for her ex, don't go around knowingly destroying people's stuff.

i don't think you should be bothered. You should only be bothered if she talks about him a lot, still wears the ring, or whatever. She says it's a cozy shirt, and cozy shirts are hard to find. Maybe she keeps it as a fond memory of people who were in her life. She hasn't worn this shirt around you so you should be good.

>>17236750
She really only talks about him negatively, and he's kind of a psycho because he keeps in contact with some of her family like her mom. Which they all find weird.

>>17236748
Hypothetically speaking, when I try, she says she's all for it, but at the end says she can't because her parents didn't let her or something. Does that mean she's not interested, or that she actually can't? I know she says the same reasons to her friends, and I've met girls whose's parents are actually really strict to the point where they can't go to their neighbor's house without asking for permission.

Do girls talk about their insecurities because they want compliments?

So an uncomfortable number of my past ex's have gone for me not because they were thrilled about me, but because they thought I was a decent friend and was "safe". I was never interested in some of the dumb shit my peers would get up to, but I never imagined myself as a stick in the mud.

Has anyone been in a similar position? Shit bugs me, and I've yet to figure out how to approach this.

People, I *think* I'm dating a guy? ...But, he could also just be really friendly. Do I ask him the next time I see him, 'Hey, are we dating?'

>He invites me to walk around the beach with him
>we always hang out just by ourselves, for hours
>he messages me a lot on facebook
>told me it's been tough getting over his ex
>picks me up and drives me places
>We've cuddled before
>but we haven't kissed or anything
>he says things like 'this is a beautiful friendship'

>>17236763
Hm. It's very possible she simply doesn't think of it as 'his' shirt anymore.

>he's kind of a psycho because he keeps in contact with some of her family like her mom. Which they all find weird.

I don't think it's weird at all to keep in contact with someone who was about to become your family. how is this psycho? Does her mom not want him to contact her?

>>17236775
Sometimes they're fishing, but most of the time they would like an honest opinion. Just act like you mean whatever you're saying and that's probably the reaction they want. The worst way to respond is to automatically dismiss what she's saying. Don't tell her she's dumb or why could she think that. It'll just make her resent you.

>>17236773
It sounds like she likes you, but if it's like what you described I think you need to get on the rents good side. Then again, I don't know how much you really like this girl and how much effort you're willing to put into having a relationship with her.

True or false: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Help me pls

>>17236787
Yeah I've been giving honest answers, she's self-conscious about her ears. I said they look fine and don't see the problem, which is true they're just fucking ears

>>17236797
How could I do it?

>>17236800
Or a lot of other people. Alcoholism is also an option.

>>17236820
I think you need to know why exactly she says she can't. Maybe her parents said no dating until after a certain age. You could always be introduced as a friend for now and then take it from there.

>>17236807
As long as you seem earnest in the delivery, I think she'll be satisfied. There's nothing more disheartening (and irritating) than asking someone you trust about an issue that matters to you, and they shrug it off like "eh w/e"

Question for both genders I guess...

My girlfriend has a very high libido and has recently confessed to me she's been in three gang bangs. Would you consider that a red flag?

>>17235729
>There's nothing worse than palpable insecurity.
I can think of worse things. I don't really mind visible insecurity: i kind of like it, actually.
I think it's just that i'm not dumb enough to think "oh they don't look obviously insecure, thus they aren't incredibly insecure".
Better to see all of a person's insecurities laid out on the table upfront rather than find out later what they were hiding.
At least imho.

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>>17236867

>>17236777
If he calls it a friendship, I would be careful using the word dating when asking him. He probably sees it as hanging out with a friend.
Do you like him more than a friend? If not, I would say don't bother questioning him since I think his use of the word friendship implies that he doesn't see you in that way? But that could be his way of being careful not to scare you away so I don't know. But if you do like him more than a friend and want to date or be in a relationship, I would probably say somethin along the lines of, "hey I've really enjoyed hanging out with you so far and I want to know what you see us as?" Depending on how he answers you can play it off as just being curious and keep things as they are or you can take charge of what you guys have

>>17236874
I wish I was baiting dude. These all happened in her early twenties.

>>17236775
Sometimes, but I personally do that almost never with men and more with my female friends. Honestly, it's because I know my female friends will compliment me no matter what and I have no reason to feel insecure around them. With a man, they may not answer the way I need them too. My gal pals know what I want, and it's a compliment when I mention that I feel disgusting. And if we are drinking, even better, because no one gives better compliments than your drunken female friends.

>>17236540
Do girls like men with money

>>17236777
He calls it a friendship and has said it's been tough getting over his ex. Also hasn't kissed you? This sounds like you're his emotional booty call, and personally that makes me think he doesn't respect you enough to give you an actual relationship. He's using you. You deserve better than this, anon. I've been there and believe me, shit sucks when you confront him for more. It's all "oh I'm still getting over her" or "I don't want to put a label on what we have". Just a mess.

Is it possible to be an ugly guy and attract very attractive women by being confident, charming, passionate, and fun?

Girl I'm seeing for a few weeks talks about how she's excited for me to meet her friends, and to just hang out and chill instead of going out for our next date. Talks about us doing stuff in the near future. Just cause Im a worried idiot all the time, this means things are going well and shes into me right?

Went on a date with a guy the other day to a museum. He kept his about half a foot distance between up and would sometimes walk with his arms crossed. He didn't flirt or try to hold my hand or kiss goodbye. He talked about small dicks like three times (it was an art museum but still...) and made fart jokes? I would lean in on him and close the distance but I guess he didn't pick up on it? I also flirted with him/complimented his appearance and he didn't?
I thought he didn't like me but he texted me yesterday and today so I'm just wondering now if he's just dense? Immature? We're both 20 and after him the youngest guy I've gone on a date with was 23. Was he not interested or is it just an age thing?

>>17236900
Maybe in the movies.
Or maybe if he's rich.

>>17236894
>>17236875
Hmm this is true thanks for opening my eyes. Ok, i just asked him via message what he saw us as. It's been 16 minutes and he's been alternatively typing and stopping, and not sending anything. Update when he does

>>17236945
Maybe really fucking dense or maybe just wants to be friends.
If this kind of thing bothers you, then its really best not to pursue.

>>17236945
Sounds like he's not interested to me.

>>17236933
Yes, you dork

>>17236900
Possible? Yes. Likely? No

>>17236800
It's different for everyone

>>17236777
Just ask him what's going on.

>>17236960
I'm sorry anon. That sucks. Just remember to stay in control of the relationship, and don't let him lead you on with false promises. Good luck.

yess

>>17236968
I know I'm a dork. I just need reassurance every once and a while. Also got concerned because before our first date she said that she "wasnt sure if she wanted anything atm" and "If theres no connection right away then it wont go anywhere for me, so dont get offended it its only one date". So that stuff is in the back of my mind right.

>>17236987
>>17236987

Yeah he just responded, pretty much confirmed it. He doesn't know what he wants, wanted me as an emotional tampon whether he knew it or not, i told him no hard feelings dude but I won't hang out with you anymore if its like this. i feel a sense of relief. I sort of already knew how he was going to respond.

Hey, i'll be fine. There's other fish in the sea. can't get tied down yet i have so many things to do

>>17236540
Girls

When you are sitting down and you fart does the fart get pushed towards your labia?

>>17237050
>>17237050
Oh my god he just responded again. Alright, I feel good, I feel a bit pissed at him and i'm not crying anymore. Telling me he's sorry but he only thought of me as a friend.

Fuck dude! Why would you send me kiss face emoticons? Why ask me about my sex life? Do you do that to all your friends?

God damn it! I should have known something was off when he didn't try to kiss me! Fucking hell dude! Get your shit together!

Alright. I am glad I dodged that . Thank you adv you opened my eyes. Never again.

I asked my LDR GF how she was yesterday, and the first thing she tells me is that she met a very nice guy. I fucking blew off.

I have problems with jealousy, and have been really obsessed about her previous sexual life. She knows I'm very sensitive about thinking of her with other guys, and the first thing she tells me is that. I got really upset, had some kind of arguments but then later on that night it got fixed I guess.

The question is, am I being a prick if I ask her to be more careful about how she tells me that stuff? I want her to tell me if she met someone nice, but it being the highlight of her day kinda threw me off. Idk, I know I'm a fag for this shit and lots of people would advice her to leave someone as jealous as me.

I'm not telling her to stop meeting men, I'm telling her to tread carefully when telling me about it, because I get a bit anxious.

>>17237100
You're being a little bitch and it's not her problem to sugarcoat things for you.

Hint: Her telling you about the nice guy was in fact, in order to get YOU to start to behave like a nice guy who doesn't flip his lid over stupid crap.

>>17237059
No.

>>17237100
You're not cut out for LDR.

>>17236933
Yes.

>>17236776
I didn't realize people actually did this.

>>17237105
>>17237110
I know I'm being a bad person, but just telling me that I'm a bitch and not cut out for a LDR doesn't help much desu

>Hint: Her telling you about the nice guy was in fact, in order to get YOU to start to behave like a nice guy who doesn't flip his lid over stupid crap.
This is quite a strech tho, said nice because I guessed that was the closest translation but whatever

>>17237117
The message that you're not receiving here is that we're telling you to break up.

Girls; Do you think yourself or other girls would hook up with a gay guy who wanted to experiment?

I'm decent looking and have no trouble with guys but have always been curious about trying out straight sex, how would i go about this without leading someone on yet have a decent chance of finding someone willing?

>>17237121
do you always break up on the first problem a relationship has?

Do you care if a girl has body mods?

It's not gonna change my mind about getting them honestly LOL because making myself feel good about my body will always trump whatever guys think of me but I have recently been getting into piercings and tattoos. I have my septum and both my nipples done and am planning for a tattoo later this year. I know a lot of guys will probably say it depends on severity/type of body modifications, if that's so then post a pic of an example you'd be okay with/not okay with. Cheers guys!

>>17237127
No, but you're going to damage this poor girl if you stay with her.

>>17237124
This is what one night stands are for.

>>17237124
I wouldn't have a problem with it. I don't know about straight girls but I'm bisexual so I completely understand wanting to explore your sexuality. I think if you can find an open-minded girl who's up for casual sex you'll be fine. Just be honest and upfront.

>>17237129
I have no tats or piercings myself, but the only things that turn me off in that sense are like face tats, big ear spacers, spacers in any place but the ear. Nipple piercings are fucking awesomeeeee

>>17237131
I'll try to be better, it's not like I'm ignorant of the fact, I want to get better but it's hard to ignore my feelings of jealousy.

>>17237133
Oh and scarification, fuck scarification.

>>17237050
>>17237075
Man, sorry he strung you along like that. You seem like a really understanding and supportive person, sucks that he took advantage of that.
It sounds like he never intended to make anything of you two but wanted you to think there might be sonething more. He probably did that to keep you interested in him so that whenever he needed some thing from you u would be there.
It's a good thing that you were able to cut it out now before it went on much longer. :/

>>17237100
>>17237117

It sounds like you're somewhat manipulative and not really designed for anything other than a submissive virgin wife that you can keep tabs on 24/7. Asking her to think about how she even tells you about her day and expecting her to sugarcoat it to protect your minds eye picture if her is unhealthy, and will likely breed contempt as you become more obsessive.

Does this sound like a healthy relationship? Does it sound like you're a well adjusted person suited for long distance relationships, or relationships in general?

>>17236391
I feel so sorry for you Americans.

>>17236546
I like my boobies more than my butt, generally never saw the attraction there I guess.

I'm a girl in my twenties.
I really need money to continue my education.
Working 12hr night shifts a few days of the week but the pay is low, sometimes I don't even have money for food and now I have to pay 250 bucks for my next semester.

That being said, I'm looking for a job with counseling or something similar... like 100 bucks a month.
I'm constantly online, generally pretty outgoing and have a way with boys. Good looking and smart, I have a lot of interests.
So if anyone's interested I can help you with your problems, give you advice and keep you company when you're down. I can even teach you some random skills and watch movies online. It's all cool.

What is 100 bucks? Some people pay more for pants&shoes.
Leave a mail.

>>17237224
From a fellow girl:
You'd make much more money just masturbating on the Internet.

>>17237245
Probably but that's degrading as fuck, don't you think? You ever done it?

On an unrelated note:
I visit mostly /ic/ /vr/ /g/ and sometimes /a/ /fa/ /mu/ /x/

>>17237253
No, I haven't, but if I was poor/down on my luck or whatever, I'd consider it. Don't even have to show your face probably.
Also I don't think it's particularly degrading, it's something you'd do anyway, why not earn some easy money at the same time.
Just an idea, I heard there's girls making several thousand dollars a month.

>>17236775
Can be fishing for compliments, can be a bonding strategy by offering personal information that makes them vulnerable, can be an attempt at self deprication and self acceptance.

>>17237263
Seems wrong to me.
Maybe I'll die poor welp

>>17237059
Not usually, but it can absolutely happen and feels quite weird.

>>17237253
You're already talking about whoring yourself out , just without the nudity. May as well take off the top and make a few extra bucks.

>>17237269
Well, to each their own of course.

>>17237277
Do therapists whore themselves out?

>>17237285
>imma grill
>will spend time online with bois for money
Hmmmm

>>17237291
Didn't answer the question, though.
Only mentioned it cause most people here are male and seem to have problems with said grills.

>>17237298
I'm just calling it how I see it. If you don't think it's whoreish then that's fine. There's always desperate guys out there to squeeze money from.

>>17237310
Well, in the end you might be right.
If anyone responds chances are that I won't like them as a person, so that's selling-out, in a way.

It just seems retarded to ask richfags for free money and no one seems interested in fucking drawing lessons or all the other shit I can teach them.
So all that's left is relationship advice? People are simple. Supply and demand. Meh.

>>17237325
>drawing lessons
Anons aren't going to pay an unknown person money when they can find Vilppu torrents for free online. This is 4chan after all, nobody pays for shit.

>>17237334
Yea but yet not many people do it despite being able to access all these resources.
It's nice to have personal feedback when you need it, as well as someone to spoonfeed the important things to you.

This is why a big part of /ic/ doesn't make it, cause they're demotivated and slack cause there's always the safety net of the sticky.

>>17237347
Yeah I can see how that would work, but I don't know if I'd pay for it. You've motivated me to get back into drawing at least, gonna break out the tablet for the first time in ages.

>>17237380
Yea, man I'd only ask for money from people who can afford it without it being an inconvenience.

In the end, resources are only helpful if you read them.
Glad you're motivated, Anon. Take care and see you around

>>17237224
>I'll be your friend for 100 bucks a month
People REALLY need to be rock bottom desperate to want that.

>>17237403
Around as desperate as venting on /adv/ I think.

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>>17237392
Thanks, and I didn't even have to pay you!

>>17237416
Yer welcome

Girls, do you really believe in "rape culture"? Do you think all dicks are out to rape you?

>>17237428
I don't and no

>>17237428
I'm honestly not sure what "rape culture" even means, but no, I don't think all dicks are out to rape me.

>>17237428
I think we tend to look for a justification for rape, as if certain conditions made it more acceptable (ex: she was drunk, she is a slut, he was in jail, she was wearing a sexy dress). I find that disturbing.
But no, not all men are rapists and I don't think everyone wants to fuck me, let alone rape me.

>>17237480
>I don't think everyone wants to fuck me
Yeah this. I always thought the kind of women who are wary of EVERY man in existence had to be incredibly arrogant. "Any man would risk decades in jail for 15 minutes sex with me", yeah no.

>>17237492
It's called wishful thinking

>>17237515
No, that's just thinking everyone wants to sleep with me.
Thinking you're important or attractive enough for everyone to want to harm you is called being an arrogant cunt.

>>17237522
Yes, baby, thinking that every man wants to sleep with you, even going as far as rape is actually wishing for it to be true.
That's what wishful thinking is its essence

>>17237522
>>17237528
Get real, most people who are paranoid about this stuff are just anxious. Fear isn't exactly rational, people are also afraid that a plane that they're on is going to crash despite the extremely low odds of that happening. Emotions don't care for logic.

I'm not saying it isn't annoying when people think that someone's lurking around the corner to rape them, but try to empathize a bit before you start concluding that they must have a terrible character because they must have this and that underlying assumption.

>>17237540
I understand people being afraid, but antagonizing half the population because of their fear is still retarded. If it wasn't men, but, say, blacks, everyone would agree that it's unfounded paranoia and nobody ought to listen to the madman spouting it.

Would you agree to be friends with a person who betrayed you more than once?

>>17237542
There's a difference between personally constantly thinking that you're going to get jumped (which is just fear) by an individual, and the whole rape culture thing. Rape culture doesn't mean that every single man or even the majority is up for raping someone, but that we live in a society in which crossing women's boundaries (up to rape) and sexually aggressive behavior towards women is normalized through culture/media and rationalizations that undermine the woman's position (wearing provocative clothes is kind of asking for it, if a girl says no she wants you to be persistent and win her over).

Now I personally think that rape culture is a ridiculous term if you look at an international context and see how women are treated in various parts of the world, and how we have many cultures that actually actively oppress women legally and socially. Not to mention I feel that slapping that whole rape-term on things to make them sound more grave than they otherwise would is all around cheap and unfounded.
But when feminists (save perhaps a handful of nutcases with no life beyond their tumblr) talk about rape culture, this is what they mean. Not that men as a gender or as individual people have the wrong tendencies, but that the society we have constructed and still construct on a daily basis from both sides, men and women working together, has a skewed attitude towards female boundaries.

>>17237548
How did they betray you?

>>17237559
Abandon or meltdown without explaining.
They claim to have changed, but i'm so fucking done.

>>17237566
Keep your distance, you could still talk online or see each other if you feel like it, but don't rely on them emotionally or in any other way. Time will tell if they've changed.

Also, don't let yourself be an emotional pillow for them to vent on.
If you feel like your interactions with the person are toxic and are draining you it might be better if you don't interact at all.

>>17236893
Girls like money (just like guys) dating someone with money is like a job (unless she/he pretty)

>>17237572
Thanks, i'll try that.
The weird part is they never vented on me. They were often enjoyable and contacted me first. I trusted them. It all goes fine and then Bam! they suddenly inexplicably cut contact with me. Shit, it got me so depressed, i feel that if they do that shit again it'll ruin my mental health.

Is it true that most women only want sex three or four times a week?

I want to fuck at least twice a day.

>>17237585
There's probably studies about that, I think most (hetero) couples have sex three or four times a week in fact.
I'm not sure how true it is that men have a stronger sex drive than women, personally I could easily have sex twice a day, and would like to, but I've no idea if I'm in the minority with that. I've heard both sides from friends - my boyfriend just watches TV and is never in the mood when I am, and also my boyfriend wants nothing but sex and I just don't want to that much. So, different strokes and all that.

>>17237100

If you're this crazy jealous, it's something you need to work on. Expecting her to walk on eggshells around you is not realistic. It's not good for you, not good for her, not be good for your relationship. And if you two don't work out, it's going to be poison for both of your following relationships too.

This is something YOU need to work on. And if you ask anything from her, it should be motivated by the end goal of getting over this irrational jealousy. Maybe that involves her being more careful about what she says to you, but the ultimate goal should still be to build to you being able to hear that sort of thing without freaking out.
Her simply avoiding the issue should not be mistaken for you guys solving the issue. This is your problem and the onus is not on her to fix it. Since you're in a relationship, you have the luxury of being able to come at it as partners, but if you were alone this would still be a problem and you'd have to fix it by yourself. Remember that whenever you ask her to do something for you.

>>17237584
Something similar has happened to me and it's a bummer.
Well, seems like you'll have to be less dependent on their presence in your life, especially if they're from the opposite gender.

Don't have high expectations of your friendship and you won't be disappointed

>>17237585
What the other anon said. I have also anecdotally heard frustration from both sides.
It would be a small minority who actually wants to fuck twice daily, though, (beyond honeymoon phase at least) and if you've never been in a consistent sexual relationship you might be surprised by your real desires if that happens as well. Sex is more hassle than masturbation and the build up is quite rewarding too. Not to mention life just gets busier.

Guys -

Would it weird you out if you were dating a 24 year old girl and she told you she was a virgin?

For context - It hasn't been from lack of opportunity - just never was in a serious enough of a relationship to sleep with the dude, and I'm too socially anxious to hook up with dudes I don't know well. I'm not super religious or anything either, but also figured less was more. Now that I'm done with college I'm interested in long term/serious relationships, but I have no clue how to approach this when the time comes. I'm scared it'd be a turn off because it's so uncommon and he might think there's something "wrong" with me even though it was choice I made.

>>17237613
>Would it weird you out if you were dating a 24 year old girl and she told you she was a virgin?
Absolutely no problem with that

>>17237428

100% exists in shitholes where women who don't burka up are considered to be asking for it, even being punished for getting raped.

In the first world it's not such a problem, but still sort of exists. Mainly against male victims, who are presumed to be always at the ready for a woman, or deserving if it happens in prison.

There's also a bit of rape culture against women in how broken the legal system is and how every woman who admits to being raped inevitably gets dragged with a fine toothed comb to find some angle where it's somehow her fault or she's lying.
Sometimes it's men doing it, because they're scared of how their own actions might be considered inappropriate or scared of sticking their dick in crazy and her lying about them - and the aforementioned rape culture against men prevents them from empathising with the victim by thinking 'that could have been me', instead only thinking of her as 'that could be someone fucking me over' and empathising with the rapist instead.
Sometimes it's women doing it, because painting all rape victims as idiots who did something wrong gives them a sense of comfort that it could never happen to them because they do all the correct things.

But rape culture becomes dangerous when we allow it to limit what a woman is allowed to do. When we decide that it's just cause and effect that a woman gets raped because she drank or dressed scantily etc, we end up controlling the lives of every single woman, and they never get a day off or that'll be the day they get raped.
There are always going to be rapists in society, and if we decide that certain victims are just asking for it, we tell these rapists "this is how you get away with it, we won't mind." That's how you get the aforementioned burka time.

Rape culture is the thing that presumes all dicks are out to rape you, and that all women have to behave in specific ways to avoid igniting that internal male fire. In reality, rapists are very specific types of individuals.

>>17236546
Tits for aesthetic with clothes that fit well etc, ass for fun in bed.
Also with some squat you can have a nice ass, so if i really have to chose i'd say tits first.

>>17236867
well, i'm into plurality sex, so i'd be aroused, a little disappointed that she had her first gangbangs without me tho.

>>17236900
Depends how much ugly he is, 4-4.5 ? sure, below that, very unlikely.
>>17237129
a few piercing or tattoos are ok, slicing your tongue in two or having a huge hole in your cheeks is a no no.

Girls and guys

What makes the difference between a Hang out and Date. And at what point does dating become a relationship?

>>17237613
>Would it weird you out if you were dating a 24 year old girl and she told you she was a virgin?

Actually having dated a couple 25 year old virgins, nah.

One of them never directly said she was, but reading between the lines, it was basically because of your same reasons; less is more, busy with college/career, just never found someone who she got along with etc.

She was pretty cool, it made sense, and I got it. If anything it was more like a "good for you for sticking to your guns" type thing.

It's not something you necessarily need to bring up unless it becomes relevant and you want to--like you know... you're with someone who really means something to you and about to have sex.

>>17237613
Wouldn't think that's weird, I mean you can just explain it to them the same way you just did. Don't think anyone would care much.

>>17237680
>What makes the difference between a hang out and date?
Calling it a date.
>And at what point does dating become a relationship?
Saying you're in a relationship.

>>17237700

so, could 2 people go on multiple dates together and still not be in a relationship?

>>17237585
I'm not sure about other women, but my bf and I usually have sex pretty often. We do not live together, but see each other 4-5 times a week. We have sex 2+ times a day when we see each other.

It used to be more towards the beginning of our relationship. But we both only went to college at that time and all we did was school, study, fuck, study, fuck, eat, fuck, nap, fuck. So that time was usually about 3-4 times a day, and almost every day of the week.

>>17237600
Thanks, anon, i'll try to follow your advice

>>17237701
Yeah, definitely.

>>17237721

Ok. I'm confused because I'm texting this girl. and she keeps talking about our upcoming first date. yet I've told her that I'm not ready to jump into a relationship with anyone. And she said "I'm the same way, trust me". So it's confusing

>>17237723
You can just have a fun relaxed date together without any obligations.

>>17237715

Oh how I wish my gf had that kind of sex drive. We can only see eachother on weekends currently, and I'm lucky if I can get it once or twice for the whole weekend. Been like that our whole year together

Would you say it's more common for guys to put less effort into a relationship?

>>17236787
>most of the time they would like an honest opinion. Just act like you mean whatever you're saying and that's probably the reaction they want.
>>17236888
>With a man, they may not answer the way I need them too. My gal pals know what I want, and it's a compliment
The hard part about understanding people is that you are all so different even on basic things like this.
I basically have to build a new rule table for each person, but I can't just ask shit like this directly, i have to figure it out or wait for them to tell me. And until then, i have to guess what the correct course of action is, and hope the inevitable wrong guesses don't badly offend or hurt them.

Personally I always go with honesty by default in this particular situation, since nobody looks to me for emotional validation (at least i would sincerely hope so).

>>17237553
>sexually aggressive behavior towards women is normalized through culture/media
Any specific examples? All i've seen from mainstream media is denouncements of such behavior.
For example, recently some judge from California i think has been all over the news with everyone calling for his head because he let a guy off with 6 months for sexual assault.

>>17237726

Yeah I guess so. Just the "date" thing is strange because I always thought people date to find a relationship

>>17237762
Not necessarily, and of course not everyone you have a date with will eventually have a relationship with you.

>>17237768

Ok. Another thing, she told me she's not the hook up type, and doesn't want that. But she loves cuddling.

I told her I'm not looking for a sex, but if it happens it happens, if not, then ok. And she said "it seems we are on the same page"

Is she actually just looking for someone to be friends with and also mess around with. Just trying not to be weird about it?

>>17237737
And on that note, how can I get my gf to want sex more? The only time I can really get her being real sexual, and desiring sex is when she's been drinking. When she's sober, she tells me she never thinks about sex at all. No sexual fantasies, never masturbated, nothing. Refuses to give me head, even though I give it to her everytime we have sex, and I always do it until she orgasms. I always have to initiate, and even then most of the time she just doesn't want to do it. I've become sort of unsure how to really even initiate anymore because I know she won't be willing most likey, and will say no. I've tried having her take vitamins and going to the gym, which worked for a weekend or two and then it was back to normal. I don't know what to do to make her actually want it more.

>>17237751
I wasn't talking about law enforcement but popular culture/media. The most blatant example would be music clips in which women get grabbed and pushed around by the singer, a less overt example the way romantic comedies tend to portray surprise french kisses and physically stopping the woman from leaving as romantic.

Again it's all relative because in western societies sexual violence is frowned upon in all the ways that matters most (like legally), and it is not that surprising that these cultural things are no 1:1 depiction of everyday life, but it is striking that the idealization of a dominant and pushy man pushing his love or physical needs on a receptive and more passive woman is so standard to depict glorified heterosexual relationships. This does not seem to be a matter of male angle either, given that women seem to consider the same dynamic as sexy or romantic.

And in itself there is little wrong with a fantasy world that people agree upon, but it can get tricky in concrete examples. Can you really fault a young guy for violating boundaries if he's grown up with a consistent message that attractive men don't take no for an answer, for example... It would be easier if women were actually alright with this submissive damsel treatment, but in practice I feel that most daydream about a scenario where you have the primal power of the man over her BUT he understands her needs completely and there is unspoken trust and respect between them and so on. And when in real life someone does not pay attention to what they want or feel, that makes them feel neglected and hurt or taken advantage of, not unreasonably so.

>>17237774
She might just want to take things slow, and you seem to fine with that anyway, so all good?
Maybe she's just looking for someone nice to be around, I mean dating is romantic to me, but who knows. I'd definitely talk to her though so you're on the same page.

>>17237778
I used to be baffled whenever friends told me they rarely/never think about sex or masturbate, but it's a thing apparently. People have different libidos, I don't think there's much you can do to change that.
If she does get noticeably more sexual when she's had a few martinis it might be something else though. Embarrassed to be seen as overly sexual or some such thing.

>>17237572
>don't let yourself be an emotional pillow for them to vent on.
>If you feel like your interactions with the person are toxic and are draining you
Personally I like listening to people vent. Wish people would do it more, recently everyone only wants to sit there and listen to me talk. I suppose it's a sign that people respect me more now, but I'd rather listen to a rant or be a shoulder to cry on than try to have a strained conversation about the weather or what kind of music i like to listen to.

>>17237613
>Would it weird you out if you were dating a 24 year old girl and she told you she was a virgin?
Nope. Grew up around a bunch of turbonerds, lots of asians and indians and such, so i wouldn't be at all surprised.

>too socially anxious to hook up with dudes I don't know well
If you want, you can try to spin this in a less awful-sounding way, ie make it 1 strength ("i choose my partners carefully" or "i've been focused on my career") instead of 2 weaknesses ("i want to fuck random strangers, but i'm too socially anxious to do so").

>>17237778
I'm sorry man but this is a take it or leave it type situation. People have a certain sex drive that is not easily going to change. If it does, it is typically over the course of many years due to hormones changing, pregnancy/childbirth etc. Now if she used to have a high sex drive and it tapered off, that's one thing, but it seems to be like this is her default level of desire. Not everyone cares about sex equally or enjoys it equally. You can communicate very clearly that you need more and want to work on that or the relationship is in danger, you can find out what works best for you (common tips include special date nights, trying for longer to actually get her in the mood instead of testing if she's in the mood) but that is a big investment and at most things will get a bit better and you can compromise. She's not going to turn into a feral girl ripping your clothes off with any magic trick.

>>17237789
>>17237797
I forgot to mention she's on BC pills, might that affect it?

>>17237805
YES. Very much so, loss of sex drive is one of the most common side effects. But obviously that's only worth trying to change if by her own admission she used to be more sexually wanting before birth control.

>>17237778
She needs to work on her anxiety issues. Not much you can do.
Getting drunk with her all the time is a crude solution, but many people rely on it since they don't want to admit they have a problem, or are too afraid to go to the doctor about it.
Long-term solution is therapy, short-term is benzodiazepines (eg Xanax, they're less dangerous than alcohol for this use, and come in exact doses).

>>17237805
Yes of course, but from what you've said, that's not the case here (if it was the hormone changes via BC, alcohol would not help at all).

>>17237805
Yeah but then alcohol wouldn't really affect her?

>>17237828
Heightened interest in sex is a common effect from alcohol. Not everyone gets it just like not everyone becomes angry after having had too much, but it's not weird that alcohol would make her hornier regardless of the state of her sex drive.

>>17237849
But if she's on the pill her hormones would be heavily messed with, so I figured alcohol wouldn't change much about that?

>>17237856
True, but you can still get more interested in sex relatively speaking, the starting point would just be different. If this is the case for his girl then perhaps with the influence of BC she would ravish him immediately after drinking even though they already had sex that day, and in the current situation it's enough to make her feel that she hasn't fucked in a while and long for it suddenly.

Not saying this is the case but I don't see that it wouldn't be possible.

>>17237862
Yeah I suppose so. I've never been on birth control so I'm honestly just guessing.

>>17236777
>We've cuddled before
>but we haven't kissed or anything
>he says things like 'this is a beautiful friendship'

ouch! that fucking annoying. But depends what do you want.
Do you like the thing the way they are or you want more?
The anwser will determine of you do something or dont

Girls

What do you think about guys with too many hobbies?

>>17237916
It depends on what the hobbies are. Like making music, drawing, playing sports/exercising, computer programming, dogs, etc are all active, productive hobbies and being able to commit to a hobby like that is a pro. But passive hobbies are a turn off, i.e. video games, being obsessed with all the comic book stuff without actually making comics, sitting and watching sports for hours... one or two of these is no problem, but if a guy only has passive hobbies I wonder what he's doing with his life and when he's gonna grow up.

How can I get pescribed opiates

>>17237613
Not really.

>>17237548
No.

Girls

Bouncing off a previous question. How would you feel about a dating a guy who's passion is traveling? I'm trying to travel 3-4 times a year. I have the money saved up I need to do this. But if I had a girlfriend, I don't know how she would feel about me going by myself.

>>17237954
>if a guy only has passive hobbies I wonder what he's doing with his life and when he's gonna grow up.
Every time i read shit like this i think "do normal people really judge everyone like that?"
Do you all go around thinking negative shit about others based on what they like to do, what they wear, etc?
Isn't that depressing?

>>17236546
I prefer tits. They're almost hypnotic.

Feeling weird at the moment.

About a month ago I started talking to a girl I met online from another country and she is super interesting and has a great personality. We would talk non-stop.
But lately I'm in a weird limbo period where I still really want to talk to her because I like her, but I'm also kind of getting bored, and I think she is too.

We're both really into videogames, but because of my current situation I won't be able to play any for at least several months. Should I scale back how much we talk until we can actually start playing games together?

Girls: hypothetical scenario here.

We've been on a few dates, and kissed once or twice. We're cuddling on a couch while watching a movie. I get a boner. Should I attempt to hide the boner, or at least try to keep it from touching you, or should I leave it wherever it goes?

>>17238002

Not that anon, but she was directly asked for what she thinks about this. And when it comes to a real relationship, shit like that is kind of important when it's someone you'll potentially spend the rest of your life with, and is a far cry from judging some random fucker on the street.

It's always funny how judgemental people who whine about others being judgemental tend to be.

>>17237978
>going by myself.
That part seems weird to me. Why not travel WITH your potential girlfriend?

>>17238147

well, I would. But the odds of her having the money or interest to go to some of the places I want to go are slim. Money is my biggest concern, because if she doesn't have the money to go, then what am I suppose to do? Just not go on trips?

>>17238002
>normal people
Haha, certainly not. I said comic books in particular because I'm a working cartoonist. I don't care what folks wear or like. But I don't understand why you would choose to waste all of one's free time on passive activities instead of learning something new, making something, or working toward a goal. More active hobbies indicate a goal oriented person, more passive hobbies indicate somebody without direction.

>thirst follow a lot of girls on tumblr
>almost all I approach show interest in me
>will talk to them on kik or snapchat, get nudes
>then when I try talking to them again they turn cold

why?

Guys: Have you ever fallen for a girl because of her personality? As in, she didn't seem so hot in the beginning, but you clicked so well that you found yourself attracted to her?

How long and how do you go about telling your significant other about your fetishes?

>>17238093
Don't hide it. If she responds not too positively (which would also surprise me), play it off as that she feels really nice. It's a natural response when you're cuddled up close.

>>17238178
Yeah, it's happened before. I've also been attracted to girls and then lost it once I found out their personalities.

>>17238178

yeah

>>17238166
You say reading comic books is a passive hobby, but what about reading novels. Is that different?

>>17238166
I agree with you, people need to be more creative.

Of course, those passive hobbies are a good thing to have as well, since for example you have to build a visual library in order to be able to draw etc but one must have at least one active hobby. That's a must.

>>17238180
When you feel comfortable around each other and can comfortably discuss sex. Test the water by starting out with the lighter stuff. Focus less on "this is what we should do together" and more on why this turns you on so much.

>>17238178
Yeah. Still with her.

>>17238178

Yes, all the time. I like unique identities and solidified personalities.

>>17238196
I'd argue it is just because you can read a comic book (or "graphic novel") much quicker than a novel. I can read a novel sized comic in a day or two - versus a novel that would take at least a week to read unless I was on vacation or something. Novels require more effort and commitment in terms of time. But like >>17238196 kinda implied balance is important - people should have active and passive hobbies. The problem is when they only have one or the other.

>>17238136
I mean I genuinely don't understand, i'm not criticizing that anon (after all, that's what i meant by "normal people").
I'm wondering how people make the connections that lead from observed characteristics to inferred character traits.
From this:
>X likes video games, comic books, watching sports, etc
To this:
>X is a manchild with no life
What leads to that conclusion as opposed to:
>X is a fun guy with varied interests
or
>X is in touch with his inner child
or some such positive conclusion?

>>17238178
Yes, that happens all the time. Frankly, I could probably say it happens every time: i notice when a girl's physically attractive, but i don't jump from that to romantic interest until i know more. She can be 10/10 but if she's dumb as a sack of bricks, my anaconda don't want none.

>>17238163

idk, maybe. Factoring each other into your finances and experiences is a big part of being in a relationship.
Why not seek out a girl who's just as passionate for travel as you are? Not only will she likely do what it takes to go with you, but she'll also probably understand more if you both go places without each other.

>>17238223
>What leads to that conclusion
The fact that they're all passive, as was explained.

>>17238238
So would dropping the video game hobby be advised if let's say, you're making videos about said stuff?

Or is that too autistic?

>>17238178
>Guys: Have you ever fallen for a girl because of her personality? As in, she didn't seem so hot in the beginning, but you clicked so well that you found yourself attracted to her?

Yeah definitely. One of my favorite one night stands/flings/whatever was exactly that.

>Was visiting a best friend for the weekend
>Best friend's GF wants to set me up with her best friend, who's also visiting from another school near to where I live
>Best friend's gf spends all day talking her up to me, and has been doing the same to her best friend
>We finally meet at party, say hey nice to meet you, then both just go do our own thing.
>She's attractive enough that other guys definitely seem to be interested in her, but I just think whatever and don't really see the appeal
>Fast forward a year and some change to their graduation
>His GF and her best friend have just graduated (her best friend actually did a couple weeks earlier and has has been crashing with her), and they're coming to crash with me.
>I take them all out to dinner to celebrate we have a good time
>my best friend and his gf nod out early
>I start talking to her. The more we talk the more we find out we get along and the more we realized we really really kind of just mesh. And the more I realize she really is stunningly beautiful in her own unique way.
>We both know we're pretty much never going to see each other after this--or at least very often (having just graduated she was moving back home, half a thousand miles away) and we end up hooking up.
>In the morning agree to never say anything to her friend, lest we get that smug, "See? See? I knew it all along. I told you" (though it was pretty obvious given the way we interacted, we were both kind of... floaty? around eachother)

The sad thing is, we very probably missed out on the start of a decent relationship that first night when we met and basically just ignored each other.

>>17238238
But why the negative conclusion instead of a positive one (eg "they like to have fun")?
Basically, what, more specifically, is the connection between
>X has many passive hobbies
>X is immature, needs to get a life, etc

Oops >>17238213 was meant for >>17238195

>>17238234

>Why not seek out a girl who's just as passionate for travel as you are

No idea how to do that. like, I meant a girl from Tinder who likes traveling. But she has like no extra money. the only reason I can afford these next trips is because I've been saving money for years and years. so I really want to do extensive traveling. it's just really hard to find people my age with money. I'm 25, so most people my age seem to be broke cause college debt. I never went to college, and have just been good with my money over the years. So now is my chance to explore

>>17238264

The fact that they are passive and are going nowhere and are just killing time instead of expanding yourself in any way. I don't understand why this is hard to grasp.

>>17238264
Age may be a factor here - I'm in my mid-twenties. I want to start having kids in a couple years, so I'm more interested in men who have goals and show initiative because of how those qualities will translate to raising kids, buying a house, his career mobility, etc.

I didn't care about this in high school and not much in college until my last couple of years. When I see a guy my age who ONLY has passive hobbies (versus a mix of active and passive) I wonder how he is going to handle the upcoming final transition into adulthood. I don't want to be somebody's mom - I want to be with somebody who's equally committed to bettering themself as I am.

>>17238268
Animal Farm by George Orwell is 94 pages long. I finished it two days ago in a single morning. It would take me much longer to read and enjoy something like Watchmen by Alan Morre or Bone. Is Animal Farm still intrinsically more valuable because it doesn't have pictures?

Do any of you have any hobbies/interests you hide from your boy/girlfriend? If so what hobbies and why?

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615 KB, 800x800

>>17238302

I like brokencyde, 3OH!3, and crabcore bands like abandon all ships and skip the foreplay. She knows, but whenever she is in the room I have to stop it or turn it down or listen with headphones because I'm too ashamed.

>>17238178
Fuck no. Ugly bitches that overcompensate with a 'personality' are fake as fuck, once you call their bluff see how hard they sweat balls.

wouldnotbreedwithquazimoto/10

>>17238213

Different anon jumping in, but I'd argue novels are a step above too because you're forced to visualise things for yourself. It's still passive in the sense that the reader's not creating anything, but it requires much more active participation of the reader's imagination.
I'd still call it a passive hobby overall, but it's not a bad one.
Many passive hobbies can develop someone as a person - general fiction can develop empathy and imagination, novels can develop vocabulary, gaming can develop reflexes and dexterity, film and comics can develop appreciation for visual composition and design etc. But anyone who's really being influenced in that sort of way will probably be engaging with the hobby in a more active fashion too (dabbling in their own writing/drawing etc), so if they're not doing any of that at all it makes me wonder if they're really getting anything out of it other than mindless entertainment.
I agree about balance.

>>17238213
that's only because you're a slow reader

harold bloom can read war and peace in an afternoon, i can read average sized novels in a quiet day. the effort/commitment argument is irrelevant, you shouldn't consider literature an active hobby just because it has more prestige as a medium than comics or film do, it's cringy.

I could get laid for the first time tonight. Any tips? Im nervous but so is she.

>>17238320
Don't overthink it. If it's both your first times, it'll be a lot of awkward fumbling and possibly not that great, but it won't matter if you get along nicely and it'll definitely improve.

>>17238287
Of course not. It varies - GENERALLY it is more time consuming to read a traditional novel. Of course there are exceptions; of course they're equally valuable.

When I said comic books I specifically meant "superheroes" because outside of /co/ (my home board) most folks assume comics = heroes anyway. And yeah, if a guy is obsessed with all that superhero shit, it's a turnoff, because most of those works are consumer objects before art objects (this is talking current Big 2 industry; there's plenty of merit in the Golden and Silver Age stuff.) Most guys who've approached me in the comic shop don't even know Clowes, Ware, and Burns even though they're arguably the most well known of the indie/art comics cartoonists out there. I admit I'm an elitist, but the "valuable" stuff currently being made tends to be indie.

>>17238320

Sex is not a big deal. Seriously, it's way over-rated.

>>17238284
>I don't want to be somebody's mom

> I want to start having kids in a couple years, so I'm more interested in men who have goals and show initiative because of how those qualities will translate to raising kids, buying a house, his career mobility

i.e i dont want to be a mom but i only look for dad material. nice dissonance.

>>17238328
Not her, but I want to have kids =! I want a man who's acting like a kid

>>17238320

Just try to have fun. If you're both nervous, it's better if you make it a more chill event by not being overtly serious. Experiment and play around with each other. Don't freak out if it's awkward or difficult at first, you'll improve quickly the more you do it.

>>17238332
>Not her, but I want to have kids =! I want a man who's acting like a kid

i understand that, i just find it funny that she says she doesn't want to be somebody's mom while at the same time setting herself up for being exactly that.

>>17238316
>you shouldn't consider literature an active hobby just because it has more prestige as a medium than comics or film do
I'm a very slow reader, you're right. I prefer to read comics personally because I can read them quicker in between working than I can a novel.

I don't think literature is more prestigious than comics, just that it takes more effort to consume in terms of time. A 200 page comic will read much faster than a 200 page novel, just by virtue of the word count and the addition of images.

>>17238342
Figure of speech, I'd say.

>>17238283
>I don't understand why this is hard to grasp.
Probably my resistance to assuming negative things about people without strong evidence: i try to stay positive. Especially about others. Otherwise, i'd probably be a colossal prick.

And in my case, i only have productive hobbies since i don't enjoy anything anymore (treatment-resistant depression). Before this I used to think video games, anime, etc weren't things to be proud of or happy about, but now I think they're just as good as more "active" interests. Guess it's true that we take everything for granted until we lose it.
This is a nice post >>17238313.

>>17238312
Underage b&.

>>17238328
Hmm... should've phrased that a bit differently. I want to be a mom to my kids, but not a mom to my husband. My mom was basically a single mom because my dad worked 10 hours a week and spent the rest of his time watching TV, playing online games, and smoking weed all day. If he disagreed with me, he'd call my mom into the room to resolve it like we were siblings, i.e. "Tell her she can't do that!" My dad never attended my PTA meetings or teacher conferences, and because he didn't work more my mom had to have sometimes four jobs at once. Our house got foreclosed on when I was in elementary school because my mom couldn't make enough money by herself. Maybe she should have left him earlier, but it really made me realize what I DON'T want my partner to be like.

>>17238324
/co/ is my home board too, and I want to reaffirm your belief that you're an elitist. I will agree though that most comics coming out right now by Marvel and DC are shit. It's better to read older stories that you know have a good reputation.

>>17238327
>Sex is not a big deal. Seriously, it's way over-rated.

I think that's a poor choice of words.
It's not so much over-rated as it is over-hyped.

It CAN be amazing, but that doesn't mean it always is. In fact, some times it can definitely be pretty bad and underwhelming.

My first time was with someone I didn't give any fucks about, and just did it because, "eh, she seem to like me. Why not? Fuck it". That was a bottomless abyss of just emptiness and felt cheap as all fuck.

It wasn't until a one night stand with my third partner that I realized, holy shit, I was floating on clouds and sex could in fact be amazing.

The funny thing is, looking back, the sex itself was pretty boring, but the way I felt about her, the connection we'd built and shared even in just that same night, the chemistry we had, that is what made everything so damn amazing.

But you don't/can't have that with everyone.

>>17238320
Try to relax and take your time as much as possible. You can strip naked and cuddle and talk before you start doing anything. It's better to be mellow about it than to rush things and be panicky. She'll need time to feel at ease to relax her muscles and get wet.
Touch her firmly, but softly. When you're kissing, at some point back away a bit as if to catch your breath and pull her in closer or (very sexy I think) move in closer yourself. Let her reactions dictate how fast you take it (apart from personal preference), if she closes her eyes, moans, wriggles under your touch, kisses you harder, blushes, smiles uncontrollably, touches you those are all good signs. Softly press your hands against the small of her back, most women also love to have their hips grabbed. Pushing them (not too literally of course) up against a wall or the back of a chair or something is also popular. You can ask if things feel nice but don't make it a negative sentence ("is this hurting you?" "is this a turn off?" "am I doing something wrong?"), just ask her to tell you how it feels, or whether it feels good, she wants more of that etc. Takes her less out of the moment if she's enjoying it.

If she cramps up and it seems like she's not into it, take a break and talk about it.

You probably won't last long, but average intercourse doesn't really either (eight minutes or something) so don't worry too much. Just make sure that she's already quite aroused when you go in, that'll make her enjoy it a lot more and makes it more satisfying. You can of course also finger her during if the position comfortably allows for it. Start with a position where you can see each other's face. Try to find it within yourself to tell her that she turns you on and how good she looks (if you think so, of course, don't fake it), scary but rewarding. Good luck/have a good time!

Oh, and in case she's a virgin as well, she should pee afterwards if you come inside her (don't do that if she's not on BC).

>>17238365

Holy shit, what a fucking loser, I'm mad just reading that. Good on her for holding it together and eventually kicking him to the curb, and you for not internalising that as what to expect from a relationship.

>>17238178
of course ! it happen very often, sometimes you just think she's a meh 5/10, but she appear to be an amazing person who smile a lot, nice, kind and know how to be sexy and that's it, job's done.
>>17237613
never dated a virgin before, so i don't know, but i don't like the idea of taking a girls virginity, + i'm a very sexual person and having her to learn everything i like will be annoying.

>>17238327
Spoken as someone who's never had good sex.

How do I get a girlfriend without being friends with a girl, I don't want to be friends.

why do i only attract broken people

i don't mind i just want to know why

>>17238302
No current ones, but I try to hide how invested I was in MMOs when I was younger I'll admit.

>>17238384
It's kind of implied by the name.

If you just want sex, you can do one night stands, have a fuck buddy, or even use escorts.

>>17238178
depends on what you mean by attracted

but basically yes

>>17238302
I write. I'd never ever let him read what I've produced.

>>17238399
Is it erotica?

>>17238302
i hid that i played hearthstone a lot

i dont want people to think im the kind of person who plays hearthstone a lot

>>17238394
Because you're ashamed, or what? I've played quite some MMOs when I was younger but I never thought I should hide it.

>>17238399
>>17238401
That's exactly why I was asking actually. I read a lot of erotica and have also written some, and I'd never tell anyone about it, because of the topic.

>>17238401
No, it's not. I mean, some of my stories do have sex scenes, but they're never the focus. It's not anything embarrassing, but I'm very self-conscious about my writing. I don't mind people on the internet reading it, they can't associate it with me, but having him read it would be too much.

>>17238383

I've never had a good time from sex

>>17238406
>That's exactly why I was asking actually. I read a lot of erotica and have also written some, and I'd never tell anyone about it, because of the topic.

yeah that's a good idea. not so much the fact that it's porn but that it's juvenile.

>>17237613

There is certainly nothing wrong with you being a virgin at twenty-four. I am concerned that the dominant narrative today is that is better to have casual sex with a person you do not love, than to remain a virgin for someone you actually love.

>>17238275
Hey anon I'm a 20 yr old female with 25k+ saved up and have started traveling a bit in the past year. Would def love to find someone to do some extensive traveling with

>>17236546
Ass all the way. It honestly compliments the body more to have a nice ass but smaller breasts where having large breasts and no ass just looks odd and uneven.
Plus with a nice ass normally comes with some nice thighs

>>17238411
Erotica is juvenile?

>>17238406
>Because you're ashamed, or what?
Kind of. I spent enough time on the game to work a full time job and I became way too emotionally invested. Became too obsessed with progression raiding to the point I brushed off my duties.

At that point it veers more into an addiction rather than a hobby though. I'd rather leave that period blank when someone asks about my history.

>>17238422
yeah. as a literary endeavour it gets zero respect and the only people who will admit to writing it are fourteen year old girls and burnt out writers who said they needed cash.

>>17238418

where do you want to go?

>>17238434
I didn't mean professionally, just as a hobby.

>>17238452
that's worse, you don't even have an excuse.

Do you think this has any future?

>he's an idealist, lives by his strict code, but also somewhat condescending towards those he deems unworthy, serious case of holier-than-thou attitude
>I'm a cynic, much more of a go-with-the-flow type, way more morally flexible, dead babies jokes are a norm
>we meet and hate each other instantly, argue all the time about trivial shit
>still interact a lot despite not liking each other bc we're majoring in the same field and so we're friends with the same people
>slowly discover he's actually pretty interesting and funny in his own way, the endless discussions we have are enlightening
>we still bicker, but it's clearly playful, suddenly I feel the need to smile nonstop when he's around
>after two semesters of sexual tension, he confesses to me

tl;dr
Do you have any experience of dating people who are very different from you? Can it work or does the thrill inevitably wear off and we find out we're actually incompatible?

>>17238458
My excuse is that I enjoy it, that's pretty much all the excuse any hobby needs, Anon.

>>17238472
i understand that you enjoy it. you were the one who asked how it's juvenile, i was just telling you.

>>17238468
>Can it work or does the thrill inevitably wear off and we find out we're actually incompatible?

it can work as long as you can respect each other but he sounds insufferable

>>17238468
In the long term? It's not going to work out. Opposites attract, but they don't last.

>>17238443
Interested in Europe, asia, maybe Australia and newzealand, and parts of Northern Africa. Not too interested in South America or the states right now

How mad would you be if i made out with your best friend when i was flirting with you?

>>17238468

The thing that matters the most is that:

1.) You agree on the fundamental things that matter to you most in life
2.) You want the same things in life

If you have BOTH of those, you've got a shot.

Even so, there's nothing wrong with starting a relationship that won't necessarily last. Just enjoy it while you can. You're both young and college age is when you're supposed to make mistakes--that way you can learn from them and become better people for it.

>>17238402
>i dont want people to think im the kind of person who plays hearthstone a lot
What kind of person is that?

>>17238468
You'll work well enough. I suspect you're quite compatible deep down, you've just developed different ways of approaching the outside world (ways that are common among people who didn't socially integrate properly for one reason or another, but don't have any permanent defects).
The way you approach each other now is a far better guide to your compatibility than the way you interacted as strangers.
>>17238491
>he sounds insufferable
It's most likely on the outside only. Compulsive mask to the world. It's not rare.
Inside his "circle of trust", he takes it off.

How should I interpret this?

Good signs
>she hangs around me a lot
>we study all the time together for hours on end
>we do things outside of class (dinner, lunch, outdoorsy things, etc.)
>she seems to ask a lot about my past, my views, etc. when we're alone
>she smiles at me a lot
>she doesn't seem to mind me touching her arm or me sitting close to her when we talk
>we share food and she seems really comfortable around me

Bad signs
>this has been drawing out for a few months and I'm worried she sees me as a friend
>she doesn't text me at all
>she can seem somewhat dismissive of me when others are around
>she doesn't touch back when I do so
>whenever we do things together and it's time to part, she just kind of walks off and waves at me without hugging me or waiting for me to make a move

It feels like there is chemistry but I really don't know. It's really odd. We'll go out, have a great time, be talking and laughing but she just doesn't really engage physically. And then when we go to part she's just kind of like "Bye" and she's off. I don't know if she's afraid to make things awkward since we have class together or what.

>>17238509

I'm going to Italy, Switzerland, and the Netherlands in September. Hoping to go to Romania and Ukraine in the spring

>>17238529
>What kind of person is that?

im not sure but i dont want to be it

I'm 25F. Am I too young for a man who is 34?

>>17238555
No. According to the formula the youngest he can go is 24.

>>17238555
Not a guy giving advice but: look at the ages of his exes. If he has a habit of dating young women, stay away. Sure, no older man really ever minds looking at a pretty young woman, but it's also normal to become more attracted to people based on them being more mature and having lived similar life experience. Plus there are benefits from dating younger people that you as the young person don't want them to want. Younger people are more easily impressed, you can't accurately see the context of his life choices/accomplishment the way an age peer in a similar part of life can. Keep an eye on whether he is into you or into the whole narrative of the man dating the younger lady.

>>17238545
How long are you traveling for?

>>17238542
Is she physical with other people? As in, does she touch her friends (even female friends) a lot etc? How does she react when you touch her and she doesn't touch you back, does she seem uncomfortable? Perhaps she's just awkward and isn't a touchy-feely person in general.

As for the texting, that depends on what kind of a person she is. Does she use her phone/fb a lot and only ignores you? Then it's indicative of something, otherwise it isn't.

>>17238576

8 days

>>17238573
Seems a bit cynical. Mid-30s man, mid-20s woman is an extremely common situation from what i've seen.

Girls, do you get asked out a lot on the days preceding Valentine's Day? What do you think about this? Does it make the guy seem opportunistic?
Fellow guys, does this ever work?

>>17238611
This is a weird time of year to ask that

>>17238573
I thought about that same thing, actually. Unless he's omitted a few, his exes have always been within 2-3 years if his own age. I agree that I want to stay away if it's some sort of pattern he's got. It still seems kind of weird to me when I look at the numbers, but in person together while talking, the gap seems less noticeable. I've never believed "age is just a number" but in this case, I seem to have more life experience than him, since he's led a relatively sheltered life, starting with a sheltered upbringing.
Thanks for your response anon. I will keep my eyes open. We aren't exclusive or even very serious yet, but it seems to be heading that direction and I've never dated anyone more than a year older than me before.

>>17238565
I know it's okay based on the formula, but from a life experience (or lack thereof) point of view, is the gap too great?

>>17238555
I wouldn't say you're 'too young', but I can't help but wonder what you two have in common and whether the attraction is anything but physical

>>17237325
>can draw

Just draw furry porn with an alias

shit makes the green flow

>>17238620
I know, but Sunday will be a Valentine's Day equivalent in my country.

>>17238611
I had one guy constantly drop hints that he was single before Valentines day, but we sort of knew each other.

If he wasn't a shitskin manlet I would have considered it. Better than spending it alone drinking until I pass out.

>>17238542
Just went through this the past few months and I'm still dealing with the aftermath. Literally the same thing as you, I became really close friends with a girl in my college class and we literally hung with all the time. I eventually told her how I felt and asked her out, about two months of avoiding the issue which really put a strain on both of us mentally and emotionally. Confronted her again and she said she doesn't see me that way and at the same time finds herself unable to be in a relationship with anyone due to her trust issues. It's been about three months since then, we still hang out often and seem to become closer after this. The downside is that I still have a lot of intimate feelings for her while she seems to have no changed her mind.

All I can really say right now is that you should just be straight forward about your feelings instead of letting things linger any longer and be ready to accept the possibility that the feelings are unrequited because this is looking exactly like what I went through.

>>17238579
8 days ? Seriously ? What the point of traveling only 8 days ? you don't have enough time to see things, meet the people and live the difference of culture...

>>17238737
because I only have 2 weeks of vacation a year. So I split it up in order to travel more than once a year

>>17238768
2 weeks of vacation ? damn that's shitty.
Well then, with only 2 weeks i'd do only one country, it would be way more interesting imo.

>>17238648
It might be mostly physical for him. We like the same books and movies and our humor seems to "click" really well. He's not the most attractive person but I really like being around him. That sounds lame but it's true.

My girlfriend wants a dog, but I really don't like the extra responsibilites, time, money, and limitations that pets bring. Plus, I'm really not an animal person.

What do?

>>17236540
What do you girls think of this whole sexual assault case that's been plastered over the news this week?
>http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-36494646

>>17238555
33m, here. Sounds ok to me.