>>17208351
Well nothing you can really do since you'll be leaving in a few months. If you REALLY want this, then you'll have to hook this bitch before you leave. Don't bomb her with it if she don't know already. If you can't hook this bitch before you leave then some chick is gonna leave them rubber nuts hangin out.

Just be normal like you always are. Just talk about your grandmother and ask her what she has been up to. Gonna have to find your own way to hook her, can't help you with that.

>>17208351
I'm a total ass so my first guess is she's riding you for free food. Think tinder pizza but more personal and misandrist.

I'd either stop fronting dates for a reaction or if I wasn't in the mood to entertain a fraud I'd just drop her on her ass.

If you actually feel attached then go all out before you have to skedaddle.
You have a couple of months to win her over to cock or you get sent to LDR purgatory.
This is a lose by default scenario and warrants taking a lot of risks. Be aggressive. Be weird.

bump since I'm on the road and don't want this thread to 404. some female advice would be appreciated too.

I'll reply later to everyone. Thanks guys

Op here

>>17208526
>Just be normal like you always are. Just talk about your grandmother and ask her what she has been up to.
Thats what I was thinking. But I just don't want her to think I've given up or lost interest. Though I don't want to interrupt the development with her by mentioning it every time we meet like an impatient prick.

>>17208555
>I'm a total ass so my first guess is she's riding you for free food.
Nah it's really not that. When we were at the bar she paid half the drinks. She's not a gold digger at all. Picnic was her idea though I said "don't think about it I'll make us a treat" in order to impress her as much as I can with my skills.

>You have a couple of months to win her over to cock or you get sent to LDR purgatory.
That is true. LDR sucks bad but I am willing to put that shit up in order to be with her.

>This is a lose by default scenario
I thought about that a lot as well. Fuck my life I already regret the decision of taking that abroad scholarship and opportunity.

>Be aggressive. Be weird.
I don't think I have a chance if I do that. I already have been trying to push and be a bit more aggressive by organizing the picnic and getting her some nice flowers (red roses) last time. She knows what I want. I would have read it as a clear sign of no interest if she ever invited me with her guy and girl comrades to whatever. But we are always just the two of us. She said she told her brother and friend about me though I don't read that as a big plus since she is just an open person and has a good relationship with her bro and friend.

I'll try to keep giving 200% the next few months till I leave by meeting with her as much as possible and trying to make nice things for her like small gifts of appreciation or nice gestures in general.

Gonna get some sleep now my mind has been all over the place lately cause of this.

OP here. Bump since I'm hoping for some advice/whatever I did not think about yet. I feel more or less powerless considering my options here.

Get someone that is into you? If I was you I would be stressed as fuck with this person "hurr just 20% mLe atraction" like her is the important shit that you need to win over or something idk man, I just see it as overly dramatic, I see most easier and simple routes out there

*sigh*....

Ok... So... I'll give you my story and take from this what you will

I guess I have a bit of experience with lesbians.

I've had two different ones basically tell me, "you're so different from other guys. If it's with you, maybe it could work".

One of them is my best friend.

>Incoming wall of text, feel free to skip to the TL;DR or read along if you're bored.

So I guess I should start with my best friend, and start the begging.

>She was a friend of a friend. He used to have a crush on her (before she came out) and they kind of stayed in contact. One day we were hanging out when he invited her along, and so we just started hanging out after work. Drinking, playing pool, grabbing food, whatever. A few months later my friend moved elsewhere for a job, and her and I just kept going on.

>I remember at first I kind of just thought she was cool, kind of aloof, but cool. We'd hang out, chat, eat, try new places. She basically became my defacto drinking buddy.

>I can't remember when it was, maybe 6 months in, I started noticing she'd give lingering touches, started calling me weird, started saying i was different from other guys, but I pretty much ignored it because, well duh, she's gay.

>Fast forward a few months. One random Wednesday she drops by with a friend. They ask if I want to go out to a ladies night with them and some friends (gay club nearby does Wednesday lesbians night), I'm off the next day so I say sure, why not. and we all hop in my car and head over.

>We go out. I buy rounds. We dance. We have a few shots. She pulls me on the floor and we start to dance. Our dancing becomes grinding. Our grinding becomes closer. Our closeness becomes kissing, our kissing becomes full on making out.

>When its time to go, the three of us head back to mine. We sit around my fire pit and have a few more beers. Her friend says it's getting late, and hints it's time to go, and then she says, she's good, she can get home on her own.

cont 1/2 (I hope?)

>>17210890
Continue pls.The anticipation has given me a hard on desu

>>17210890

Continued

>So we sit around and chat for like an half an hour more, and we get up, and she just pulls me to my room.

That was the first night we hooked up. We kept going as FWBs for a few weeks. We'd be hanging out, have some drinks, and just hook up.

At that point I'm pretty sure we both started to hook up because drunk, horny, and both of us have been single for a while.

>Fast forward a month or two. I'm in the dating scene. I meet a girl I'm starting to like. I've seen her a few times, already, and I get a late night text from my friend asking what's up. I tell her, I need to call it quits because I'm starting to see someone, she says it's cool and wishes me luck.

>fast forward a few weeks it ends up not working out. She hits me up to hang out, I say sure I need a drink (it's literally the same night I got dumped lol). I drink and bitch pretty much, she drinks with me. We end up hooking up.

This time is different though.

>As we're making out she makes a half joke about how we both suck at relationships and should start over and try for the relationship thing.
>I'm still drunk, and she's laughing as she says it, and given what i'd been talking about all day, I figure it's just her off sense of humor, and we have sex for what'd be the last time.

>The next morning I think about it and ask her if she was serious the night before.
>She responds by too quickly and too quietly saying "No." and changing the subject
>Oh shit.
>I know enough not to ask her about it because I know her personality enough to know she'd just bail right then in that second. so we just hang out like normal.

>The next week though I really think about it. I'm kind of pissed because of her timing, but I think about it all the same. I really figure out if she meant it or not.

I come to this conclusion, she's confused. She does, but does not.

Cont 2/3 (This is longer than I thought -.-)

>>17210915

Really need to hear more.
Btw, how was lesbian sex?

>>17210915

My friends history before she met me:
>She lost her father when she was very young
>She'd been out as gay a good 7+ years
>She has a mother who tries to be supportive and loving of her daughter, but is clearly uncomfortable with her daughter being gay
>She has always been kind of a loner and had problems trusting people
>She'd recently lost most all her friends in a bad breakup with an ex-girlfriend, where her friends chose her ex
>Right before she'd met me (and basically right after her break up) she'd just been in a major car accident that completely totaled her car (which the EMT's said it was a miracle she survived), left her in the hospital for a month where she had to get pins put in her ankle and leg, after which she was released to her mother--who's a nurse, and who she had to move back in with.
>She'd always wished for a close friend, someone who she could truly count as on her side, and I was quickly becoming the closest thing to it she'd ever had

So when I put it all together. I pretty quickly realized. Did she want a relationship with me? Maybe yeah... but knowing her as I know her, a large (maybe majority) part of it was that she kind of saw me as a way to have a shot at normal.

I was a guy she actually liked, and she was tired of having to put up with being the oddball, the loner, and the lesbian. If it was with me, maybe she could be happy, maybe she could be normal, maybe her mom would be able to fully accept her (her mom had already dropped hints she'd approve if we were dating).

>The next week I had a serious talk with her and called her on her shit. I was honestly a little annoyed at her (her fucking timing... I was literally bitching about being jerked around all day and she did the exact same shit that same night xD), but I let it out and felt better.

Continued 3/4. Last one.

After all that we went back to being just friends. In fact, close friends than before. She's now my perpetual wingman, my drinking buddy, and best friend. We're both in serious relationships and happier than we've ever been.

The other girl. I've written a wall of text and a half so I'll just keep it short.

>She's one of my friend's friends. We meet at another ladies night. Exact same routine. Dancing, making out, we're alone. There's a moment when she gets more sober and somber and she drops a, "I've never really liked guys, but if it's with you, I think I can" and wants to sleep with me
>While she's saying it, I remember back to my friend and remember the exact same desperation in her voice, the exact same look in her eyes.
>I can tell, this is another girl who is desperately grasping for something normal. Another girl who is tired of being on the outside, who's tired of being a freak. Who just wants to be fit in for once. I've been here before, I already know what this is and where this would go.

CONCLUSION: I know my best friend well enough to know it as a fact that had we started a relationship, she would have enjoyed the normalcy for a while, but because it wasn't necessarily ME she wanted to be with, but the normalcy I represented, things would have eventually collapsed.

At her core, she is solidly gay. She wanted to fight against it to be normal, but she is who she is. You can't fight nature. She is WAAAAAY happier with her girlfriend than I have ever seen her before, and way happier than either of us would have been together.

@OP I don't know if your case is the same as my experiences. I really don't.

But you need to be wary and ask yourself, is she really attracted to you? Or are you just someone she likes enough that she wants to think she does? Because that cognitive dissonance can be dangerous and blow up in your face.

If she's solidly serious, then it's ok to try--people do change in life. But if she's wavering, hurting, and confused, see above.

>>17210927

Eh, depends on the girl. For me sex has always been more about chemistry and connection, and that's kind of lacking with lesbians I was with.

Like you can kind of feel they're not fully feeling it when they kiss you, even if it's rough, hard, or deep, it's not as passionate and emotional as it is when you're with someone who you share real chemistry with, and the sex is much in the same.

And in terms of technique, that's entirely dependent upon the girl. Lesbianism doesn't magically grant mythic sex skills or anything lol. If anything, they're less experienced with guys, and tend to be more selfish and less willing to please guys in ways that guys find pleasing (remember our organs and pleasure centers are anatomically different, and they're working off a knowledge base of female anatomy not guy anatomy)

VS my girlfriend, for example, who knows pretty much every inch of me, knows where I'm most sensitive, and is more than willing to pleasure me just because she likes seeing me writhe in it.

OP here.

>>17210954
As a matter of fact I am stressed out as fuck. Especially with my grandmother (see first post) and all happening. But I really like her and I am willing to take that. I've been on dates and liked a lot of girls but looking back it was mostly superficial. Like only about looks and stuff but I like her especially on an emotional/more human level.

Never had a girl and never kissed one. I'm 24. I wouldn't say I am unconfident but I'm just getting tired of life as it is. Though I am constantly trying to improve myself and thought/hope this could be it.

>>17210856
>solidly gay at core
How can I tell? She told me she likes me but is unsure yet. Also she had one boyfriend (and 2 girlfriends). She acts very adult/mature and you wouldn't see shes gay if she didn't tell you. She is 28 and I'm 24 btw.

>is she really attracted
Well we had exchange of affection I'd say.
In the bar we were like ear to ear and I had my arm around her all the time. Held her hand back to the subway and all.
When we went to picnic she layed down on my lap and I brushed her hair/head gently with my hand while we were talking

Thinking about it she has a few problems right now (parents divorce, alcoholic mom etc.) and I believe she likes to talk to me just as much as I do to her. We help each other out by talking and I try to support her as best as I can. This could be a hint that she is not into me but maybe just wants something normal/calm whatever you call it.
But then again she is definetly not seeking some "normalcy" since she and her family/friends are totally fine with her liking girls. I believe this is not a big deal.

Btw thanks for your story/advice. I don't know if I could handle it this well.
I see what you are getting at but I am more confused than ever now. My head hurts so bad I don't know what to do.

>>17210927
>Being a lesbian gives you instant sexskills
like wat

>>17211765
>Never had a girl and never kissed one.

Not to be condescending, but if I had to guess, this is at the core of why you're getting so wound up over this (probably like 70-90% of why you're freaking out)

This is an already potentially messy low success rate situation, and your putting too much hopes in to basically lucking out that it works out well.

>How can I tell? [...] you wouldn't see shes gay if she didn't tell you. She is 28

Both the girls I mentioned were in their mid/late 20's. That's around the range where identity crisis can happen in general. On top of that, late 20's is where most women start to freak out about having kids (if they want them).

Thinking about it she has a few problems right now.[...] I believe this is not a big deal.

It's not about what you believe, it's about what she believes. The second girl's parents approved and didn't care, it doesn't mean she still felt like she wanted to fit in more some times. And yes, you being different and nice to her could be what's enticing her to want to try.

Now that I'm done confusing you.

If you want to go for it, go for it. Stop over thinking it.

Just...make sure to teep THESE kinds of outs completely out of your head:

>thought/hope this could be it.
>Fuck my life I already regret the decision of taking that abroad scholarship and opportunity.
>I want this to work so bad cause I like her a lot.

Those are the kind of thoughts that reinforce desperation, loneliness, and self-destructive habits.

Ultimately, she needs to decide for herself if this is something she wants or not. Even if you try to push her and she does get in one with you, if she goes into this half assed, she's just going stay halfassed through the relationship and flake at some point.

On your side, if it's easier for you go ahead and decide you're going to do this, but don't plan your life around this. Do not get ahead of yourself <-- this applies to all future potential relationships as well.

>>17213601
>this is at the core of why you're getting so wound up over this
You know what you are probably right.

>That's around the range where identity crisis can happen in general. On top of that, late 20's is where most women start to freak out about having kids (if they want them).
>It's not about what you believe, it's about what she believes.
Thats both true aswell.

>Those are the kind of thoughts that reinforce desperation, loneliness, and self-destructive habits.
Yeah I guess I should try to respect and love myself more in order to have a happier life. Though I'm always scared that I'll be too selfish and destroy/diminish something that could potentially be great.

>if she goes into this half assed, she's just going stay halfassed through the relationship and flake at some point.
That is the last thing I want. Like I'd rather have no relationship at all than something half assed. It would not make any of us happy and someone (probably me) would get hurt pretty bad.

I'll try my best to cope with it and maybe take it a little more normal and not invest myself too much and overthink it.

I'll try to improve I really do. I got fitter the last two years and I try to live healthier. But I guess its also the emotional/mental side that I have to work on in order to become a better person and more successful when it comes to girls.

Thank you man. Honestly thank you all in this thread.

>>17214415

Np dude, that's what we're here for, to share a little bit of our experience, and hope you get something out of it, while using that reflection to learn a little more about ourselves.

>I guess its also the emotional/mental side that I have to work on in order to become a better person and more successful when it comes to girls.

Someone was asking basically about that exact topic yesterday in the Ask the Opposite Gender thread

>>17210810
>What qualities should I reach to be psychologically ready for relationships?

I actually left a response about what I think it takes and, while it's a little abstract, it's probably relevant to you:
>>17210851

Best of luck and keep on keeping on.