Guys, I said something slightly offensive regarding the manner of a stranger's death. He's kind of ignoring me now because I guess it was an uncalled for comment. What do I do now to un-piss him off? I'm not interested in him romantically. I just want to get things back to normal as coworkers. If it matters, we're both in our late twenties.

Is the medfag from last thread still in here?

>>17209110
What happened exactly? I'm not quite sure what's going on by your description.

>>17209110
Apologize?

>>17209104
Please help >>17208985

>>17209126
I made a remark about a current event that was maybe one of those "too soon" situations, and he got offended. I didn't realize it was an offensive thing to say until I saw his reaction. It wasn't a personal insult. It was a comment having nothing to do with him personally. I'm wondering what I can do to make up for saying something distasteful. I'm a female and in my experience, an apology and a discussion is enough to fix a verbal issue with another woman. But with this guy, he's kind of ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder now. I don't know how to make things normal again, and we work in the office together.

tl;dr I said slightly offensive and made shit weird, wat do?

>>17209122
I'm not him, but I'm a med student at least. Try it

>>17209172
I have this weird hard bump on my thigh. It's about the size of a dime and feels like the tissue goes down a little ways, so it's not just on the surface. I'm planning to go see a doctor about it soon, but I've put it off for a while and I'm really scared it's cancer.

>>17209070
I probably shouldn't be answering this, but i'd say what i'm looking for is an actual deep "connection" of some sort.
The kind i've had with certain guys over the years. Where we became instant friends the first day we met, where we could guess what the other was thinking, make jokes without saying a word (just by knowing a shared reference), etc. The kind where we could play imagination-heavy games like D&D with no paper or pens, we just held all the characters and stats and shit in our heads. Where we just talked at all hours of the day or night, sent paragraphs of text without waiting for replies. Or went years with no contact at all, then immediately revived our friendship when one of us moved back. The kind where all communication seemed to come freely and easily, the kind of relationship we never worried about, we just took it for granted: we were friends, that would never change.

If I ever make the same connection with a girl, i'll marry her on the spot if i can.

The sad thing is that no man i know seems to have found his true love. Most are in unhappy marriages. Many staying together for the kids. Some afraid of being alone. Many hiding in their "man caves" or garages with a TV and fridge, from nagging, controlling, or even abusive wives.
I can't do that shit, it'd drive me nuts. I'd fucking shoot myself. If I don't find a real life partner, i'd rather die alone.

That's not an appealing prospect though, of course. But i'm 21 and i've never found any girl i really click with, so I'm getting worried. Most people do by now, right? At least one or two?
I already know there are things wrong with me, but i hope this isn't another one.

Bit of an odd one.

Discussed moving in with my girlfriend, no time frame was put on it but it's pretty clear I'll need to move to her city.

I have absolutely no doubts I'll get a job extremely quickly because I have the perfect experience for my sector. Would it be weird if I started applying for jobs already? Should I ask my girlfriend about this before doing so?

I don't really want to accept anything yet and obviously wouldn't do so without discussing it with my girlfriend first but I figured applying and potentially interviewing for various roles might be useful so when we are ready, we can just get straight into it. Considering I'll need to give at least two months notice in my current job, I didn't think it seemed too keen either.

>>17209189
How hard is it? It could easily just be a cyst if it's a bit wobbly. Is it just skin colored, or a bit reddened?
Another common, and harmless explanation would be a dermatofibroma, those are mostly found on your extremities, they're hard lumps of scar tissue. Worth noting that they're (usually, but not always) smaller than what you describe.
That being said, it definitely can't hurt to see a dermatologist about it. On the unlikely chance that it is indeed cancer (but it very very probably won't be), waiting and hesitating won't help you, quite the contrary.

>>17209213
It's skin colored, maybe a little bit whiter. I guess it could be a little bit wobbly. I can move the spot around as much as my other thigh skin. I have been really hoping that it's just a cyst. I'm aware that waiting to get a cancer diagnosis could be very harmful, but I've just been very scared that my worst thoughts could get confirmed.

>>17209202

Thanks for quoting the previous thread, I wasn't sure how but really wanted to reply!

I can't speak enough for chemistry being absolutely necessary in a relationship. I was with someone for almost eight years and we were engaged but I never really felt a connection with them. As others have said, we rarely argued, we could be around each other and not annoy each other but that was about it.

I left them because I couldn't handle the strange feeling of being with someone who I had nothing but platonic feelings for. I got to the point where I'd rather be alone than continue trying to force these feelings that other people seemed to have naturally with their partners.

To cut a long story short, I ended up going on a few dates with a friend and fell for them immediately. The chemistry we have is so intense that sometimes I think it's too good to be true. I don't have to put any effort in to being with this person, I think they're wonderful and they make me happier than anybody else has ever done. I can speak to them for hours and never get bored (and we've been doing this for seven years so it's nothing new), the sex is the most amazing and intense thing I've ever felt, where as previously I wasn't that bothered about it. I want to be with them constantly but love being apart for the rush I get when I finally see them again. Their natural smell makes me smile, all I have to do is look at them and I get this strange tingle all over. Life with them is just better. I want to experience everything with them.

This is the person I've been waiting for all my life, as sad as it is to say. I genuinely love them with all of my heart and I think it's because of chemistry.

Never settle. You will know when you finally feel this feeling.

Girls, let's say you and your boyfriend have a pet (which you both love) together but after some time you break up with him. The pet lives with your exbf because his house is more conditioned for him to live.

Your exbf doesn't negate you contact with the pet and trusts you enough to take care of it when he is away of town which is something you agree to.

Would you think or suspect that he is trying to get together with you again and using the pet as a bargain chip? to what degree?

I'm the exbf and I don't want to come back with her but I want to be sure my buddy is in the good hands of someone who actually cares for him when I'm away. I don't want any other type of contact apart from that.

>>17209240
I'm assuming you are rather young. Even if it is a tumor, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor of it being benign. Don't beat yourself up over it, but do get it checked out, and don't put it off indefinitely - even if just so you can get a confirmation that your worries are unfounded.

>>17209204
Mention it to her so she's up to date with what's going on and when and all that.

Can I love a man I've never personally met?

>>17209241
This post was a really helpful and insightful read for me. Thank you for sharing!

>>17209246
I wouldn't think that. Pets are living things, you can't just divide them evenly after a breakup like they're books or sex toys. I care deeply for my doggie, if I had a breakup with a long-term partner, I'd understand if they wanted to still visit my dog occasionally, I know I would want to.

>>17209252

I was just going to apply for a couple of jobs and if I got an interview, explain at that point and ask if she thinks I should go along or decline for the time being. I was worried it might seem a bit overly keen if I started applying immediately, when really it's just to see if I'll get anywhere with an interview.

>>17209263
Sure. If you mean "not having met face to face, but talking/chatting for a long time" and not "admiring hot dude from afar and stalking his Facebook"

My girlfriend always wears a two-piece swimsuit at the beach or the pool. I think she's showing way too much skin and honestly, it's like she's openly cheating on me by showing off to every other male around. How do I get her to dress more modestly?

>>17209285
>she's openly cheating on me by wearing a swim suit from this century
Maybe Islam would be more to your liking, Anon?

>>17209263
Something that watching that show Catfish has taught me is that an in-person connection is totally separate from an online connection. I believe you love someone, but it's probably the idea of that person and not the actual person themselves. Even seemingly tiny things like someone's scent or physical mannerisms can kill your feelings in an instant.

Anybody have issues with being a bigger guy with a pretty small and semi sheltered girl? And I'm talking like 80 pounds. I can curl her. I feel like there is only so much prep I can do. I'm expecting it to take a few tries for us to adjust.

>>17209270
Sounds reasonable to me.

My boyfriend often flirt with females/female friends over social media. I've confronted him about it and told him that I'm uncomfortable with these encounters. I don't wanna stop him from having female friends, I just don't understand why he needs to flirt with these women, especially when our relationship is seemingly happy.

He says its just how he interacts with females in general. He's always been somewhat excessive in that regard and he tells me he doesnt intend on pursuing any of the women or cheating. I believe him, but I still cant come to terms with his flirtatious behavior.

TLDR: Is it normal for men in ltrs to still harmlessly flirt with other women? At what point does this harmless flirting cross the line? Am I being an insufferable bitch for asking my bf to stop flirting, even if its harmless? Thanks guys.

>>17209263
You can feel love, but you don't really love him, you love an idea of him.
It is inevitable to idealize people you meet online. They can show you only certain aspects of themselves, you don't know certain things about them, and you fill the gaps with your imagination. You get an inaccurate image of who they really are.
Once you get to know them in person, things change.

>>17209167
Just give him a day or two and then if he doesn't speak to you just come to him and say you're sorry that you blurt out unappropriate things sometimes

>>17209104
Guy here dumped by my gf and her only reason was "It's not you it's me" advice?

>>17209241
>Never settle. You will know when you finally feel this feeling.
The problem is that some of us likely never will.

For example, my father got married at 38. He settled, because he didn't want to die alone. The marriage was shit, they stayed together for the kids but shouldn't have (it didn't help, their parenting was god-awful and none of us are normal). Grandpa, his father, married a woman with BPD that abused him and everyone around her, probably because he thought that's what he deserved.

On my mother's side, my grandmother is married to an honest-to-god cult-leading sociopath now (abused her when he still physically could, didn't divorce since she doesn't really have anywhere to go, foreign country).
Her first husband (my biological grandpa) is remarried to a woman he doesn't love and can't have a conversation with, because she's just a simple country woman who can cook and clean and help him with the crops.

Love is nice. But how many of us actually stand a chance of experiencing it?

>>17209323
>TLDR: Is it normal for men in ltrs to still harmlessly flirt with other women?

Depends on the guys personality.

I'm a flirt. My girlfriend knows it. She also knows I don't meant anything by it, and that it isn't even intentional or conscious. I just pay compliments,try to be considerate, make flirty jokes, and tend to try to make people comfortable/involved by default. It's just how I interact with everyone--especially if they're more feminine (and this applies to guys too. And no, i'm not gay or bi).

>At what point does this harmless flirting cross the line?

When it's clearly not just flirting.

>Am I being an insufferable bitch for asking my bf to stop flirting, even if its harmless? Thanks guys.

Part of me wants to say no, being concerned is fine, and it's cool to ask him to cool off a bit but also... kind of yeah... you got in to a relationship knowing what he's like. You can't expect him to change who he is, just because you changed your mind.

This comes down to a matter of trust and respect, and if you don't have it for him, don't be with him.

Btw, by definition flirting means it's without any serious intent.

Do girls also just want a fuck buddy? Because I can't handle anything more meaningful than that

>>17209357
Find someone who doesn't make excuses like a 14 year old.

>>17209406
No, the only people with fuckbuddies are homosexual men, from the 3 billion women on this planet, not one is interested in casual sex, because we're pure of heart, how else would we ride unicorns?

>>17209434
its more like 3.5 billion but I see your point
now the problem is finding one

Women

How much does marriage matter to you in a relationship? Why exactly is it such a drive/necessity to some of you?

I've been with my girlfriend 7 years now and while she's happy to remain as we are for now I'm feeling pressure from her. She says nothing directly but is always hinting at it.

>>17209444
That's another thing entirely, of course.

>>17209446
It doesn't matter to me at all, aside from practical reasons á la tax benefits. But I think for a lot of women it's something we're kind of conditioned to want from an early age, the "proper" progression of a relationship leads to marriage. It seals the deal so to speak. I think a lot of girls are afraid their man will, somehow, absurdly bail on them for some reason, regardless how silly that fear is, and marriage makes it proper and official and "right", it screams "this is my man, my man alone, and here's the ring to prove it, bitches, I won"

Women, what does it feel like when you orgasm?

>>17209465
That's really difficult to describe to someone who can't experience it, I always thought, not to mention you'll probably also get really differing answers anyway, but I'll try.
Firstly it depends a lot on how and when I orgasm. Vaginal orgasms are stronger than clitoral ones, and either of those is noticeably better when I'm ovulating somehow. They're also (usually) stronger if there's more/longer build-up.
Shortly before I orgasm, I get this tingly almost ticklish feeling in my inner thighs that makes me want to close my legs in protection, then the actual orgasm, if it's a good one obviously, feels like my body just tenses up all over, my toes curl up, back arches, free hand clawing at the sheets, that kinda thing. Then when the "waves" of pleasure hits me, I start relaxing completely, I sort of just go blank, sometimes there's lights before my eyes and my brain kinda reboots. My legs twitch pretty uncontrollably when I cum, too, there's a really warm, good feeling in my stomach/crotch area, nipples and clitoris become especially sensitive and kind of feel...burning, I guess? But in a real good way of course. Also moaning/whimpering, unless I bite into something.
The whole thing goes on for like 20-30 seconds, and then there's a kind of afterglowy effect where I'm just super happy and want to hug everybody and can't really move because I feel so light and fluffy all over, like my skin is melting?
Sorry, it's really hard to put into words.

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>>17209514
>and then there's a kind of afterglowy effect where I'm just super happy and want to hug everybody and can't really move because I feel so light and fluffy all over
This can't be true. Is this true? Can anyone confirm/deny?

>>17209465
First there is a build up. Physically, it feels like my vagina and clit are tightening into a knot and my body is kinda twitchy. The feeling of "SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN" is strong. Mentally, I feel like an animal in a horny frenzied state (most likely to blurt out some weird sexual shit in this moment), but cannot physically act on this feeling, like I am kind of frozen, or if I move I will explode.

After this peak, there is a sudden physical and mental release. The "knot" my genitals feel like they were in releases. Along with it, a burst of euphoria. It's like an earthquake and my clit is the epicenter. Waves of electric neurons flow to my head then all the way out to my finger tips.

My vagina spasms, like it's opening and closing quickly. Like a slow and intense heart beat.

This lasts for about 30 seconds to one minute. Then I'm really calm, tired, but extremely content for a couple of minutes. And my body and mind goes back to baseline.

>>17209526
Wait, why? I thought guys are pretty happy when they cum too, I mean isn't that the whole reason?
Obviously my first hand (huehue) experience is pretty limited but I've heard similar things from other girls at least.

Girls: what is your opinion on 'chivalry'? Ex. holding doors open for you, pulling your chair out for you, ect. On a date, of course.

>>17209544
Not necessary, but very much appreciated as long as it doesn't make things awkward.

>>17209533
No. I mean, we are happy to have sex, cumming feels great and all that, but the orgasm itself doesn't make us (well at least me) happy and cheerful and stuff. If anything I feel like being alone or sleeping after I have an orgasm.

>>17209555
So that's why guys bail immediately after sex, huh. The more you know.

>>17209558
It's not really that. When the refractory period hits it's like you just had a three course meal at a steakhouse and then the waiter brings a desert menu out. You know it looks amazing and you would normally really want the food, but you're so full that the pictures on the desert menu don't stir any kind of urge at all and you really don't want it anymore.

>>17209567
Well yeah, but being full and satisfied could also lead to "let's just stop everything for a sec and cuddle" instead of "oh god I have to be alone/away from here quickly"?
Just trying to understand the male post-coitus, since it's apparently hugely different from ours.

Girls,
there is this girl at my work place that have been telling everyone that she likes me. it's been going for months, pretty much from the start of the year. I have heard it from at least 3 different sources already.
The thing is I haven't have any interaction with this girl besides one single occasion where we talked for like 2 minutes.
Today she just added me to whatsapp and started talking to me..
I think she is really cute and I would like to know her better but she is only giving oneliners and we aren't even 10 lines into our conversation..
am I boring?
did she lost interest?
any insides of what's going on with this girl?

>>17209574
Oh, it definitely can. The "oh God I have to be alone/away from here quickly" usually happens when it's a one night stand or with someone you're not really close to.

>>17209590
Ohh okay right. I thought it was a general orgasm thing, regardless of who shared the bed with you. Sleeping with someone I'm not really close to is pretty far down on my list of things to do so I didn't think of it at first, my bad.

>>17209567
That's not what I was talking about though. I like cuddling with my girlfriend and stuff, no matter how horny I am, but sometimes I just feel like I want to have no one around and do nothing and just stare at the ceiling or sleep. And ironically, this usually happens after I have sex, but it has nothing to do with the fact I'm not horny anymore.

I feel like my body is telling me "job done" and I can just rest and laze around now. Kind of like how I feel after a big workout or a stressful day at work. The fact that I'm as introverted as it gets might play a big part in it. My perfect day consist of no more than 3-4 hours spent around other people, with the rest of them spent in solitude. Maybe other men would just feel like socializing after that. Although my friends seem to be on the same wavelength as me.

>>17209574
For me it's like a base necessity. Usually after I cum I feel like shit and promise myself I'll never do it again. Maybe it's different in a relationship, but I'll never know anyway. The actual orgasm doesn't seem dissimilar to the female version though.

>>17209544
I don't like it that much. Well, I don't like it when a man calls out his own behavior on it. If you hold the door open for me, just do it casually. Don't make me feel like you absolutely had to do that for me.

Pulling out the chair, just don't.

I'm not even some femnazit and I don't identify with that. It just makes me feel like a child, not like an adult lady.

If we were to ever date in person, you'd just see that I'm way too laid back for that kind of stuff anyways. I'm not romantic at all. I just like to have conversation, connect, and laugh on a date. I'm not judging you for not holding out the chair for me.

>>17209602
Maybe it's just exhaustion? I mean guys are pretty "done" after they orgasm, whereas for us it can be, at least for some and sometimes, be kinda energizing and such, and you just want to keep going or at least keep doing something. I always describe it as the first orgasm is kind of an upwards climb, takes long and can be exhausting or even annoying, and after that it's like sledging down the other side, and you just want to keep sledging.

>>17209604
That's so weird, it's the complete opposite for me - if I don't cum I feel like shit. I don't mean as in "addicted to touching myself", I mean if I try to orgasm but can't for whatever reason, that drives me up the freaking wall. Basically makes me bitchy all day from sheer annoyance, and makes me feel broken.

I have a question for guys, preferably if you're in your late 20s or early 30s.

In conversation, what does saying "the girl I'm seeing" mean? Is that just another way of referring to the person you're dating, or is there a difference in using "seeing" vs. "dating"? Are they synonymous?

I had no idea this guy was seeing anyone because he gravitates towards me whenever he's around, and flirts with me in person and through text. He never brought it his dating situation until today. It was a signal to back off, right? Otherwise he wouldn't have said anything?

Personally I don't refer to guys as anything other than "my friend" in conversation (if the person I'm talking to doesn't know the guy by name) unless we're already exclusive and sleeping with each other, at which point I'll use "my boyfriend". So I've never used that term before.

>>17209631
How I understand it, "girl I'm seeing" definitely means dating. But who knows maybe it's different for him, maybe he meant something else? I'd say ask him to be sure, but expect it to mean dating.

>>17209167
Tell him to stop being a fag, works every time. Just be careful of doing it off duty, fags tend to cry to hr.

>>17209616
>Maybe it's just exhaustion?
Not really, my examples were pretty misleading since they both involved a lot of work. I don't really feel tired I just feel like lazing around. I feel like I have nothing to do, no worries, no responsibilities, it's just me and the bed. Or the couch. Or the backseat of my friends car.

One thing that I didn't mention is that I also feel very calm, like nothing could phase me and I could think rationally about anything. If I would ever be able to meditate that would be the time. At some point I figured I should take every major decision in my life after I have an orgasm. Still think it's a good idea desu.

>>17209636
So that implies exclusivity, right? I'm trying to understand if this is where I stop.
He's still being very flirty with me, but as some posters talked about above, it seems that guys with girlfriends will continue to flirt with other women. I like him a lot, actually wanted to ask him out, but I don't want to flirt back if he's already with someone. I don't want to get in the middle of that.

>>17209652
I would say I'm "seeing" a girl unless I'm dating her. I mean "THE girl I'm seeing" sounds pretty exclusive to me.

What do you mean by flirting, exactly?

>>17209645
Kenjataimu, the feeling rational calmness after an orgasm.

>>17209652
I'd say that implies exclusivity, yeah. At least how I understand the term.
Sorry, seems like he (accidentally or on purpose) kinda led you on a bit.

>>17209550
>as long as it doesn't make things awkward.
how can it make things akward?

>>17209691
You know how sometimes someone holds the door for you when you're like 15 meters away from it? And they just keep holding and holding and you feel awkward and just hurry up a bit but no too much in order to not make it show how awkward you feel but it only makes you feel more awkward? And then you finally get there and you blubber "t-thanks" and he has a forced smile and you can tell they feel as awkward as you.

>>17209631
>>17209652

>In conversation, what does saying "the girl I'm seeing" mean? Is that just another way of referring to the person you're dating, or is there a difference in using "seeing" vs. "dating"? Are they synonymous?
>That implies exclusivity, right? I'm trying to understand if this is where I stop.

As the guy who was talking about being flirty, and as someone who is in his late 20's (though I'm not sure that's relevant?), It's all semantics.

Everyone has different definitions and different behaviors for their situations.

The girl I'm seeing could mean the girl he's currently dating, but dating in itself does not necessarily mean exclusively, maybe they're both still in that phase where they're dating, but they're still seeing other people (though I'd probably guess if that was true he'd say "this girl I'm seeing" rather than "the girl I'm seeing". Or maybe he actually is in a relationship but it's an open one.

Me, personally, I'd probably just say flat out say "My girlfriend" or <her name>.

Either way, if he's a natural flirt, I don't think it'd even cross his mind to mention a partner specifically as a deterrent (not that you should take that as a sign to come on to him either).

A third possibility that just came to mind is maybe he's a dumb ass who's trying to PUA mind games to make himself sound desirable and make you interested.

It could be anything, so honestly, this stuff is pointless to think about since you'll never know the truth unless you actually ask him if he's with anyone.

Something you learn as you get older, shit doesn't have to be awkward if you don't want to it to be. Things are only ever as awkward as you let them be.

>>17209656
Yeah he did say "THE". Damn. Meh oh well.
By flirting I mean a few things: when in a group, he talks at me and not at the people he's known longer, same goes for if he's telling a joke: he looks at me when he's saying it and waits for me to laugh rather than other people. Sometimes he just ignores what other people say and responds just to what I'm saying. One of our friends noticed it and pointed it out to me before I even noticed. One on one, without prompting he'll tell me personal stories about when he was a kid or things he experienced, things that he likes, stuff that's currently going on with his family or with his work (I've never asked about these things. I don't know why he volunteers them) and things he would like to do in the future. He also can talk to me for hours. We've been in a cafe together for three hours after the rest of our friends left, not realizing how long we had been there just chatting. Only recent have we started texting (he gave me his number) and maybe it's just his typing style but he's always teasing me and using smileys that seem ... overly friendly.
He also often says he's not doing anything, that he has time to chat or hang out. That's another reason I assumed he was single, since I figured a taken guy would be spending his time with the woman he's dating. When I asked how long he had been seeing this person, he said "not long" and I didn't want to explicitly ask the exact time frame.

>>17209662
>Sorry, seems like he (accidentally or on purpose) kinda led you on a bit.
Thank you for saying that. I do feel led on, so it's kind of nice to hear that coming from someone else. Like I didn't imagine it.

>>17209711
I thought the age might be worth noting because I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early thirties, so I assumed it wouldn't be relevant to ask a 21 year old what they think about the "seeing someone" term, that's all. And nah things are awkward and I didn't mean that they would become that way. I just don't want to be coming on to someone who's in a relationship. I want to change the tone I use with him if he's already committed to someone.
I agree with you, I have said "my boyfriend ___" in situations, rather than try to use other terminology. This guy isn't naturally flirty which is why I was pretty surprised. Thanks for writing me such a long response. I appreciate it because I'm feeling kind of down right now.

>>17209246
It's like a divorce and the pet is a child. Especially if you guys got the pet together. I'd deeply appreciate this gesture. I'm passionate about animals.

>her relationship status is set to "it's complicated"
>he chooses not to list any relationship status
>whatdoesitmean.jpg
Do people stay together just to avoid being single/lonely/sexless? I don't get it

I know guys talk about dick size a lot a bbc. But how do white women deal with having baggier vaginas than hispanics and blacks? Do women just get a free pass on that.

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I miss my ex-gf.

We broke up about three weeks ago.

After we broke up I went to work and messaged her saying that I love her and that I don't want to break up. She said it's too late and she needs time to heal before we can meet up.

I haven't contacted her since. She messaged me recently just saying "hi" and I was friendly and casual. She said that she missed me and wants to meet up soon, but isn't ready yet.

I've been trying to un-attach myself from her by going on dates, working out, not messaging her, etc. But everyday I just miss her more and feel a strong urge to message her.

I know I'm going to meet up with her soon, I'm just not sure when. I made a mistake and looked at her twitter account recently and she posted a captioned picture saying that you shouldn't chase people just let them come back to you.

I don't know if that's referring to me or if she's saying she's not going to reach out to me.

I don't know what to do. Should I not contact her still? I was thinking if she doesn't message me by Saturday I'll message her asking if she wants to meet up and do something fun. I'm just going to be casual, not talk about the break up or any drama, and just show her that I'm positive and moving on.

The thing is I'm really hurting inside. Any advice will be appreciated.

>>17209856
>Do people stay together just to avoid being single/lonely/sexless? I don't get it

More than you'd think

>>17209883
>I know guys talk about dick size a lot a bbc. But how do white women deal with having baggier vaginas than hispanics and blacks? Do women just get a free pass on that.

Their insecurity equivalent is their breasts, sometimes their ass too. Oh and their hair. And their weight. And their skin.

>>17209889
Stay away until you've stopped hurting.

Stop picking at the wound. Give it a few months, or nothing will have changed, and all you'll do is make bigger, uglier scars that take longer to heal and might even start to fester.

>>17209920

I mean, I'm not really "hurting." I just want her back deep down.

On the outside I've become much more positive, sociable, and I'm in the best shape of my life. I know if we met up I'd be able to impress her, I'm just confused by her twitter post.

Is she intentionally not trying to "chase" me? Is she wanting me to reach out to her? I have no clue. Here's what she posted:
Don't chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard.. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.

>currently in a NSA relationship with someone I met online
>usually take her out to dinner and then fuck like wabbits afterwards
>been going pretty good for 3-4 months
>sudden twist! She got pregnant from by her ex
>I've offered her some assistance through the process however she doesn't like the terms (granted they were pretty steep so I don't blame her, and that isn't the issue)
Is it impolite to break up with someone simply because you don't want to have sex with them while they are carrying another mans child, or should I come up with better excuse? I like her so I don't want to hurt her feelings, especially not at a time like this.

>>17209968
Actions come with consequences. She'd be retarded if she's surprised you don't want to be with her.

>(granted they were pretty steep so I don't blame her, and that isn't the issue)
Yeah but now I'm curious.

>>17209968
>Is it impolite to break up with someone simply because you don't want to have sex with them while they are carrying another mans child
Nope, sounds like a good plan. You do NOT want to be part of that soap opera. It's not worth it, anon. Run the fuck away. You'll find someone else.

>>17209940

I don't know her, if she's the game playing type, or whatever, but sounds more like one of those typical things you say out loud to try and motivate yourself and make yourself believe.

Who cares what she thinks. Just do you. If you're meant to be, you're meant to be.

I'll repeat give yourself time. If you go back now, nothing will have changed, and even if you get back together, the reasons you broke up will still be there, and they'll only get worse, leading you to ruin any good that there may have been left over...

Us humans capable of great change and adaptation, but not quickly (short of a cataclysmic, world ending event anyway... and maybe not even then...)

>>17209979
She's a bit of a "free spirit," I told her I'd play a hands off fatherly role to her child if she raised a child of my own as well. I figured it would give her a bit of freedom in her life if she had someone on her side, so to speak, and it would basically mean adding her to my harem, lol. The difference between having no children and one child is far greater then difference between having one child and two. You still gotta get up early, make their lunch, take them to school, the doctor, and all the shit. This way she would be able to take a break from that every once and awhile, and I'd pass on my genes for relatively little input and I'd be free to pursue other potential partners as well.

>>17209446
The TRADITION of marriage is essential to me. I'd like to be committed and devoted to one person for life and have them be committed and devoted the same to me.

That being said, the LEGAL form of marriage is not appealing to me at all and I think it's an institution that needs great reform. I'm not going to get legally married as I see it now.

This is something that needs to be discussed openly early in a relationship. When people go years without discussing it and only then being to give "hints" is when you get disaster.

Lady's, I'm cute but I have bad teeth. Online, so I don't really count it, I've had four LDR and the girl was a 8-9/10 and was able to look past my flaw among other ones I have.

Irl, where its a constant thing they'll have to see, how would I woman react?
I was talking to this girl on a dating site, which is new for me, and she said I was cute and we were even getting on really well then I asked her what was some of hear deal breakers
She said "bad teeth. I know it sounds really superficial but I really like good teeth and nice lips"

Obviously most people would prefer someone who had the least amount of physical flaws as possible but is this relative to women in general or do all women have their own standards and I just have to find one who will be able to look past it?

Having LDR really messed me up, because, being with such good looking girls has made my standards erupt through the fucking roof. Like I said, I'm not ugly myself, but I have no pretty much no experience with dating irl

Is there a "one"? Like, is there one person that is right for you? Or are people capable of falling in love with anyone? It certainly feels like it right now, like I just can't see myself being so enamored in another girl.

>>17210204
As someone who has been with 3 girls I thought was "the one"
No
The one doesn't exist. It's just a matter of being close

>>17210204
The One does not exist for anyone, and love is only a matter of propinquity; love is always equal to existence.

>>17210222
>>17210226
Thank god. I've honestly been considering whether I should be making decisions that will decide my future based on how it would affect our relationship. I feel better about wanting to follow my own aspirations now.

>>17210243
I've been there, I have. It's never worth that much conforming unless you two are engaged (and I mean, a ring on your goddamn finger engaged not just a vocal agreement) and you are sure you will be married soon; or you are already married. Your future is getting shorter because you are aging but you're never going to be too old to assume you can't find someone you will feel the same way about as you do for this girl now. But that is all it is, a feeling. The love may be true and real but I promise you it's not exclusive to her. Hope that helps.

>to girls:
In a guy in a group of friends suddenly told you he liked you and asked you out, but you didn't return his feelings, could you just ignore that it happened and hang out as usual?

>>17210277
Meh, i would probably not be able to just go on as usual. I'd watch my behaviour in order to not encourage him further or to get his hopes up.

>>17210204
There's 3.5 billion women on the planet. There's at least a few thousand ones.

I've been told I'm attractive, but stand-offish. I can see the last one, but have a negative self-view and have to work to see myself as attractive, though I'm not ignorant to my physcial improvements over time. I do look better now than I ever have. I'm quiet, but not shy, and am honest with myself when I just don't have anything to talk to someone about. Many people find this offensive, I guess?

I can't seem to meet anyone like this. I feel like many many people I come across are just too dumb to be worth the effort it'd take to break the mold. I feel like I want to interact with someone more like me. I mean I oddly enough have a handful of friends, but there are so many differences, it's hard to really connect. I can't talk to them about much deep subject matter that I really yearn to discuss with someone as slightly neurotic as me. How do I find a girl like this?

>>17210277
I've had this happen a few times, and yes, I'm able to ignore it and hang out as usual. It's usually the guy who is awkward, but I just act like I don't notice and try to keep the group dynamic neutral.

>>17210328
You sound a tad bit narcissistic. Keep yourself more open rather than focusing on what you think they are or what they're not providing for you. Most people don't bare themselves immediately. Your first impression will not always be an accurate one.

>>17210277
It'll never return to as it was, since I'll have to keep watch of not accidentally leading him on.
I'll try to not be too weird that other people will notice, though. Nor will I be overtly mean or anything

>>17210337
>Most people don't bare themselves immediately. Your first impression will not always be an accurate one.
Ugh I know, that's something I try to keep reminding myself but old habits break fucking hard. I've actually met a good amount of people I was dead wrong about with my first impression and I think back on that, but for every one of them there must be thousands who proved me right.

>>17209104
To any girls/guys who had a similar experience:

When you lost your virginity did you have a late period? Gf and I had first "sex" on May 3rd and she says her period is 6 days late. Thing is, I wore a condom the whole way through, kept it in a safe place beforehand and everything. She was so tight I couldn't even stick it in her. We eventually gave up and she gave me a handjob (with condom still on that I took off in the bathroom) and I went home.

Am I being paranoid?

>>17210226
>and love is only a matter of propinquity

I wouldn't go THAT far

>>17210243
>considering making decisions that will decide my future based on how it would affect our relationship

but that is always a bit naive/irresponsible unless you are in a relationship that:

1.) Is requited
2.) Is 1-5+ years in length (the amount of time in inversely proportional to your age--so the older you are, the less time you need)
3.) Is one where you are both in a secure/mature part of your lives
4.) Is one where you're close to considering marriage/are married
Optional 5.) Is one where you have tangible, real world commitments with one another (kids, mortgages/rent, pets, etc

>>17210365
>When you lost your virginity did you have a late period?
No

>Am I being paranoid?
Let's see
>used condom
>didn't even stick it in her
What do you think?

>>17210371
Thanks for the reply, sorry for being a paranoid faggot

>>17210328
>I feel like many many people I come across are just too dumb to be worth the effort

Aaaaand that's EXACTLY why people tell you you're stand-offish, because you are.

How do you find equally stand-offish people? If you maintain your currently outlook, you very probably won't, because neither of you will ever want to associate with one another because you'll probably make flash judgement's about each other that you're not worth the effort.

Becoming NOT standoffish is simple, smile, talk to people, be friendly.

Every individual has the potential for an interesting conversation. If you strive to find the interesting ones and you can't be bothered to put in the effort--or are too inept--to find it, that's on you.

>>17210345
I understand that. I'm similar to you, as in I started out thinking the same way you do, and it took me a good few years to finally open up and treat people like discoveries rather than things I (think I) can analyze. It gets easier with practice, and I've made very close friends (and a boyfriend) by going against my initial impression. It's very much worth it in my case, even if it is tedious.

Try it for a while, anon. You'll be surprised by what you find.

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I (dude) invited co-worker to date (female) and she agreed, we don't work in the same team.

We started hanging out with some co-workers at lunch, she kept saying "when are we going out" towards the group of 4 people, not just me, and she asked me to hold her hand all the way from the restaurant to work. We don't really talk that much to be honest. So, I just asked her out and I don't wanna fuck up.

So I'm taking her to a bar that I like, she likes clubbing but I'm more of a "sit up, drink and talk" guy. Also, would it be innaproppiate if I take her to my friends' hangout in the first date?

>>17210303
>>17210337
>>17210342
I dunno, as long as you've made it very clear that you're not interested, I can accept it as that. Have any of you had experience with this?

>>17210390
>Every individual has the potential for an interesting conversation. If you strive to find the interesting ones and you can't be bothered to put in the effort--or are too inept--to find it, that's on you.

This. Assuming everyone is just too dumb for you is the mark of a very immature and stupid person.

>>17210404
Ah well I don't think that about EVERYONE. But I live in an area where almost everyone is a redneck who loves guns, sports, and are barely comprehensible. It's rare I find someone I do consider intelligent or interesting, and god, when that happens, I don't even bother because I start feeling bad and consider them out of my league. That or they're already busy with their own lives and then I become the one not worth it. I hate having this double standard mindset. It kind of concerns me, because I don't think it's normal

>>17210403
I'm the second person you quoted.

I've had experience with this three times. The first time, the guy took every kind gesture I gave him as a sign that I liked him. Luckily, I was too naive at that age to notice, so after rejecting him, I simply went back to normal. My actions (or, rather, lack there of) just made him snappy and angry, so I slowly drifted away from the friend group because of him taking his anger issues out on me.
The second was simply lovesick. From experience, I decided to walk on eggshells around him. That only lasted a few months before our friendship began to breakdown because neither of us would act normal anymore. He was awkward and I was afraid of upsetting him.
For the third, I went back to just acting like normal. That one was, luckily, much more like you, in that he was pretty much okay with me not wanting a relationship and we're still pretty good friends and nothing is awkward. So I don't put in the effort of trying to watch myself anymore. As long as both parties are mature, you should be able to maintain a stable friendship.

The trick is truly treating her like a friend and her knowing that you won't treat her differently afterwards so she can relax and not feel like she has to act a certain way or avoid you.

>>17210365
Just get a test of you're worried.
Periods are honestly not that regular. Especially because you two are in a new relationship, that makes her hormones change.

Fembots: if your bf told you that he had a cuckold fetish, how would you react? Would you be willing to roleplay with it? In general, how would that go?

>>17210438
Him taking a pregnancy test isn't going to do anything to alleviate his fears.

>>17210421
It's a condition of elitism. You trick yourself into thinking you're adept at analyzing others--to the point of constructing false assumptions about their lives, personalities, and intelligence--and reason that you're better than them in some way. But when you find someone who matches up with you, those same false assumptions are used against you. It's a very unhealthy mindset, and works in both directions to keep you from meeting new people and being approachable.

>>17210400
A date is usually just the two of you, especially a first date.

>>17210429
I was like that years ago, but because the girl refused to give me any more than a very vague no. She told me she 'didn't know', and obviously I didn't know what the fuck to interpret that as.

I forced another answer out of her two years late and she finally said no and we became friends again, but I'm still pretty pissed at her for that. I've already lost my chance with another girl I was asking about but this is for future reference.

>>17210451
I've thought about it like that too. I don't know what to do about it. When I look back and think about how it developed, I pretty much see it as an alternative to depression I had for a lot of years. I'm afraid that shitty way of thinking is the only thing keeping me from the harsher self-loathing thoughts I keep at bay and I hate it, but I hate feeling low too. I can't tell which one's really me though and I feel like there's nothing when I get past those two feelings. It's either comparing myself to others when they're relevant or around, comparing me to me when I'm alone, or just nothing, which makes me feel pointless. When I'm not distracting myself with entertainment or rarely in thought about something completely outside of me, I usually fall into one of those mindsets. Just waiting to die and it kills me. I don't know what I should be doing. I wouldn't even say I'm depressed now but I think I'm comfortable with being sad and I'm not sure which is worse

>>17210480
Maybe she was just nervous of how you'd respond. I only gave the second guy a vague no because I didn't want to lose my friend group again. I understand the frustration of being led on, though. Some people don't know how to handle things directly, and it makes it all worse. But wow, two years? That's persistence. Sorry it didn't work out.

>>17210400
>So I'm taking her to a bar that I like, she likes clubbing but I'm more of a "sit up, drink and talk" guy

Honestly, I thoroughly believe dates should take place in locations where you can have enough privacy and intimacy to be able to actually be able to talk, hear eachother, and get to know eachother...

But why can't you do both? Ultimately a date should be something you BOTH find fun.

And I guess you could take her to your friends hangout... but then I don't know if that's a date anymore so much as just hanging out (basically just swapping your co-workers for your friends...) and in that case... it kind of makes me wonder what the point of asking her out on a date was... (and yeah, I'm being a little bit pedantic there.. but seriously...)

>>17210490
That's really heavy. My elitism was a product of my depression/self loathing as well, and only began to truly dissipate once I started doing better mentally. I sound like you've been a bad spot emotionally, and that's definitely give to put a damper on your ability to firm relationships. If you have freedom to, you might benefit from a therapist. That's the only thing that really helped me work through my shitty mind. Well, that and the usual "eat well, sleep, exercise, etc."

Okay girls I got a question for you:
I've been pretty good friends with this girl since like 3rd grade, kinda liked her a year or two ago and told her, dont remember what she said but it wasn't really a flat out rejection. Was going to ask her to a dance but then another girl(who I actually dated for a year after this but thats not really related) said she "wouldn't be into it" if I asked her. We're going to be going to the same college next year, do you think I should give it one last try? Things have always been really cool between us but she acts way different towards me than the way she acts towards other guys, ALWAYS waves at me, whenever she gets near me she ALWAYS finds a reason to talk to me, if we walk past each other in the hall she always gives me a little shove or kicks my backpack despite the fact that she "doesn't really like touching". Now right now she has a boyfriend but told me, and actually just about everyone, that she doesnt plan on going to college with a boyfriend. Like I said it's been a few years since I've made any type of move on her so, but maybe i'm just over thinking it

>>17210498
Yeah, she was just about the only person I had a crush on up to that point of my life. Childhood friend, we knew each other since the first day of school when we were 7.

I'm just mad now that I lost my chance with another qt recently because she was in a group of friends too, and I didn't know what to do until my friend and she started going out.

>>17210512
It's good to get this kind of thing out. I think sometimes I just need to talk with someone who understands to exhaust the stress that builds up, and like I've mentioned, that's not much within my means. You've helped, thank you for responding

>>17210520
Of course she treats you differently, you've been friends since third grade. You're the brother she never had. The reason she plans on going to college without a boyfriend isn't to swap for a new boyfriend. It's because she wants to either completely focus on her studies or plans on getting laid a lot (which I hate to admit is the most likely thing, she's a woman with a woman's crazy libido after all). You can go ahead and confess one last time, but don't expect anything - sorry man.

>>17210546
I've never been her "brother". Good friends is actually kind a stretch, I dont actually talk to her all that much. I dont really expect much either desu, it's always been like "You know I think you're really cool I wouldnt mind giving it a try, no? Okay whatever see you in math tommorow.". I guess what I should have said is we've always been pretty chill with each other and that most of our interactions are from times when our paths just so happen to cross.

>>17210565
>known since 3rd grade

Not that anon, but regardless, that's like what, 10 years? Literally over half her life? Even if you don't think you're "good friends", Duh she treats you differently.

>>17210578
There's plenty of other guys she's known since third grade she doesnt act that way to that have also told her they like her. Her current boyfriend is a guy she's known since third grade. I dont want to sound like a
>No guys seriously there's totally a chance!!
Type of guy, but like, it couldn't hurt to try, right?

>>17210542
You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. I really hope things get better, anon.

>>17210531
Yeah, that sucks. But hopefully you'll get another chance soon. There's a ton of fish in the sea!

>>17210599
Like I said - go ahead and try. It won't hurt to confess again. Just don't hype yourself up is all.

if you chat with a guy in whatsapp and comment on his whatsapp profile pic (photo of him and you comment on how "german" it is) and he asks you if you like it, is he into you?

>>17210701
Maybe. He's testing the waters, so it seems pretty likely. That, or he just wants a girl's opinion and is into someone else.

>>17210709
I asked him if he has a crush on anyone and he said none at the moment

>>17210720
Tease him a little to see if you can get anything else, but I guess it's unlikely now.

>>17210723
I did tease him and he still said none

>>17210726
Guess not, then. Sorry.

>>17210727
Well I once asked him what he's ideal type of girl is. He said he likes a girl with the same hobbies as him, but if it is not a 100% match it is ok. He said I would make a cool gf even though it is not a 100% match.

>>17210741
Well, do you like him? It seems safe to go ahead and ask him out.

>>17209526
It's true. Oxytocin release. It's similar to what MDMA does.

What is the psychology behind femdom?

Where does it come from to want to give up all control to a girl and is it healthy?
Have any girls here been in a relationship where they are the dominate one sexually? How does it affect the rest of the relationship??

I don't know where else to ask this to get semi-serious answers

>>17210787
Woman here.
I am sometimes the dominant one sexually. I like loving sex too, if he wants to take charge sometimes I don't mind, but most of the time I am the one in charge. I am not into humiliation, so I am quite sweet and kind with him when I'm in charge, a "gentle femdom" thing.
I treat it like roleplay and not like my lifestyle. It gets us off, but it is just a game. We are a very normal couple in everyday life, love each other tons.

What qualities should I reach to be psychologically ready for relationships?

>>17210810
Independence to the utmost standard, first and foremost. Absolutely no traces of codependency, you should be able to live your life dispensing your emotions as frugal as possible, even if you have a "significant other"

People underestimate how a relationship can be psychologically detrimental
You have to have morals you abide by through thick and thin and won't change them for anyone
You have to be tough as nails to prepare for a lot of the outcomes a relationship holds and even then nothing can really prepare anyone for something like complete and utter heartbreak

The psychological stability is most important for your recovery phase if something DOES go wrong
You need to be able to bounce back and not let that shit define your future
ie not posting "my ex" threads on /adv/

Hope this helpe

>have been chatting to an internet frned for 3 years
>only recently i will happen to visit his country so we are considering a meetup
>am a girl
>he said he is very inactive on facebook and he never uses it
>i asked him for his facebook as my parents may want to see it
>he gve me his facebook
>he only has one friend on facebook
>asked him about it and he said he met that girl online and he didnt add any of his other friends as he never thought of using his fb account
should i cancel my idea to meet him? I have video skyped with him before, but I've seen people catfishing others on skype videos (ive seen ppl pretending to be justinbieber on skype videos to troll his fans)

>>17210800
>I am not into humiliation, so I am quite sweet and kind with him when I'm in charge, a "gentle femdom" thing.

That is what I want

Maybe since I've never had that I have begun to obsess about it and warp it in my mind. I don't want humiliation, I just want the girl to be in charge. I guess I just haven't found a girl that is comfortable with that without it being a "lifestyle" of domination

>>17210810

What other anon said is absolutely right. Independence is key.

This is going to get really weirdly pseudo philosophical and metaphorical so I apologize in advance.

To clarify, by independence we don't mean, "I sustain myself, shut everyone else out, and function in a bubble", but an independence comes from knowing who you are, what you are about, and the ability to hold to and prioritize that, all while still adapting as the world the world and ceding as you need to.

A relationship is basically a collaborative back and forward between two independent individuals. It's an ebb and flow where things are freely and easily exchanged from one body to the other, and then back across again, but the whole time, the core of each stays solid and consistent. When everything is done right, when everything in in sync, no matter how strong the current becomes, the core of who you are is solid.

When one side isn't solid and strong, when one starts to get swept up by the flow, their entire entity gets washed away and is left at the mercy to the others flows.

On that same note, the total inverse is also true. You have to be able to cede. By knowing exactly who you are and what you are about, you know the core of yourself, and know what you generally tell the exact limit of what you can and cannot give on. Knowing this limit, you better maintain your identity which means you can push those waters harder without getting lost, and achieve something more powerful.

If you don't cede at all though, that flow is disrupted, the waters become stagnant, and nothing ever gets done.

You are two independent individuals.
You help each other grow, and you cooperate, but you are not one entity. You are two separate entities who--ideally--work together to create something greater for the both of you. This cannot happen if one of you is swept away, or if one of you is not willing to give a little.

>>17210851
Other anon here, basically this.

ive been in two relationships my entire life

One is exactly what this post describes
The other was someone who was completely emotionally unstable

The emotionally unstable one was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever been with, but barely had a future ahead of her and lived by one of the most disgusting prerogatives ever

The one who was the embodiment of that post is somewhere making 100k a year, not because she loves money, but she had morals and stability and goals set that she wouldn't budge on because her parents didn't raise her that way, yet I was too stupid to realize this and tried to change her. She's the reason I even know these things now. She was an average looking girl, and to this day I would take her over the other in a heartbeat

The point is, never settle for someone because one aspect of them is favorable but they don't have that independence we speak of. It's the most deadend set up possible

girl here. how many times do i have to meet a guy ive met (onlinen datin) to be able to trust him and visit private areas alone?

Girl: i met this beautiful girl Fraiday night and gave her my number. She texted me Saturday night and I didn't saw her Text. I just sended her a text 5 days later. Did I fucked up?

>>17210829
Don't feticize it. It shouldn't be the only thing that gets you off or the main aspect of the relationship. It shouldn't be "I want you to dominate me".
It was natural for me because my boyfriend gave me positive feedback when I took charge, because I noticed that small actions where I was more in control got him off. He loved it, I wanted to please him, I kept doing it.

>>17210889
That's tricky. Personally I generally assume people don't want to rape, kill and eat me if I've talked to them for a while and they seem normal, but of course there's always some risk involved I guess?
I'd say trust your gut feeling.

>>17210889
>how many times do i have to meet a guy ive met (onlinen datin) to be able to trust him
this is obviously impossible to answer. Do you really think there's a number?
First of all, it depends how good you are at judging character and seeing through disguises. If you're total garbage at it (many women are), it will never be really safe. You could even get married to him before realizing he's an abusive sociopath: my grandmother did that, for example.

On the other hand, let's say you're like me and can't instantly rule people out, but can rule them in with enough time: you'd basically meet until you see definitive proof to confirm that they aren't a homicidal lunatic or rapist (ie aren't capable of it, or wouldn't do it).
Others can't rule people in, but can rule people out, in which case you meet with them until you've either ruled them unsafe or the probability is low enough that you're comfortable risking it (eg 4 sigma in statistical terms).

There are also obvious signs that can instantly put a man in either category: for example, if i find out someone's a psychopath (ie ASPD and assorted characteristics), i'd advise a normal person never to meet with them alone (i still would though, because i have no regard for my safety). On the other hand, if you find out they're autistic or schizoid, i'd say that immediately makes them "safe", since autists and schizoids are uniquely unlikely to participate in antisocial behavior (ie hurting people).

You have to use the capabilities you have to judge. Personally, i don't even consider someone a potential romantic partner until i'm alright being alone with them, so there's that. But yes, with online dating, it's more difficult to screen beforehand, so you have to rely on face-to-face meetings in public places. Make sure to choose somewhat quiet and personal places by the way: it's easier to focus on subtle signals from the other person when you're not in the midst of a crowd.

guys and gals: if you really liked someone and hit it off, then were about to get in a relationship but they tell you they're interested in a polygamous one - would you go for that?

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>>17210952
>polygamous
Do you mean polyamorous? Polygamy is one man with many women or vice versa.

While I have 0 interest in open relationships, polygamy would ramp it up from disinterest to losing respect towards that person.

>>17210952
No, absolutely not. If I'm in a relationship, I want it to be exclusive, I just can't imagine having to "share" my partner with anybody, and I'm sure it'd lead to problems down the road.

>>17210956
I mean as in an open relationship not exclusive to the man having many spouses
And even then I would lose respect for a woman who wants an open relationship but the girl I'm talking to is a Virgin so I'm more leaning towards she has no clue what she actually wants.. I really don't know

>>17210957
Yeah I feel the same way. It sucks because I really really liked this girl, she sure waited to reveal this side of her

>>17210962
Have you asked her why she feels she wants that? I thought that's something almost only guys would suggest. I certainly can't imagine wanting anything like that myself.

>>17210980
I am strictly monogamous myself, wayyyyy to jealous to even think of something like this. I guess deep down I feel like I can potentially make her just want an exclusive relationship with me? She's never even been in a relationship before. I have asked her and she says it's definitely not about the sex but she is more willing to have a strong connection with multiple people instead of just one. She says that I would be her boyfriend but she would not be closed to the idea of also dating other men or women (she also says she's bi, yet has little to no experience with anything romantic or sexual)

I'm more confused than she is

>>17210889
>girl here. how many times do i have to meet a guy i've met (onlinen datin) to be able to trust him and visit private areas alone?

This is probably better answered by a femanon, but it depends on the vibe of things.

As a guy who's done online dating you can always tell when a girl is skittish, and some guys are better at comforting them than others.

For me, it was always easy to get girls to relax, because it's pretty obvious I'm a decent guy, who lives by a set of standards and ideologies (for example, I'm the guy who posted this: >>17210851 and if the subject gets to i, I talk like that in real life lol).

I know my girlfriend definitely had guys she dated (she also did online dating, that's where we met) where she was just like... Nooope. Time to GTFO now.

Even I've met girls where I was just like... Yeahhh... I'm going to do everything in my power to lose this number, make sure I'm not followed home, and pray I don't see her peaking out at me through a window.

Trust your gut if you can, and when you can't, be safe until you have a decent idea of who the person is.

>>17210952
Fuck no

>>17210996
Honestly that seems like she wants to rush into things that seem awesome in artsy Alain Delon movies but aren't all that easy (or great) in real life.
I don't know, like I said I simply can't imagine being in such a relationship myself so maybe I can't give any great advice.
Of course I don't know her or you, but it seems like she's just a bit immature and now thinks she has to run to keep up, so to speak.

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How bad are these acne scars? (In terms of attractiveness towards girls). I don't know if I think they're worse than they are or not but I think I got really unfortunate.
I also think they look better in the photo too though idk

>>17210442
most likely would not be okay with it because it usually means he has some kind of trauma or insecurity issues he's tried to turn into a strength to gain an upper hand on himself mentally,his way of coping with low self image and self esteem. i'm sure that's not the case for everyone but it's what most people are thinking, either that or they're 'unfaithful' (not very worried about that, actually, more the self esteem issue). i'd be open to hearing his explanation for it but i'd be more than a little wary, and i'm normally a very adventurous person sexually.

>>17211018
My sentiments exactly. I'm 100% sure that this is the tumblr in her talking, which is why I feel like I can somehow get her into something exclusive. Sure, she may be bi, and that can be a fact I'm okay with - especially given she's never been with a woman or man for that matter, but hopefully this open relationship shit goes away when she gets a dose of an actual monogamous one

>>17210365
did you cum inside her? if not, I doubt you have anything to worry about but would say that you need to take more precautions in the future. condoms are all fine and dandy but they're not full proof, she needs to get on the pill if you're both going to be sexually active.

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>>17210980
>I thought that's something almost only guys would suggest.
My experience is kind of the opposite honestly. I've seen it happen thrice in my circle, one where the girl seemed to have a genuine poly relationship going on, one did poly because she had major commitment issues, and the third was just straight up selfish. Last one was extremely insulting to her main partner and I ended up going no contact because I wasnt cool with it.

>>17211024
I think people really have the wrong idea about bisexual women, it's like just because someone's bi, they would suddenly also want a polyamorous relationship, or a threesome or some such thing?
But yeah, maybe give her some time to think it through, I wouldn't pressure her too much into being 'just' into you, either.

>>17211036
Most bi or gay people that I've come across ARE like that though. They're downright nasty. And it's mostly due to how oppressed they are. Every gay person I know is hyper sexual so I assume any gay or bi person has sex every night

>>17211039
I don't know about that. I mean, I know gay guys who are downright mansluts, but I'm not much involved with them (I'm lesbian myself) and most homosexual girls (and bisexuals too) are more the committed-relationship type.

>>17211047
Interesting. Definitely not trying to generalize the entire community it's just what I've noticed in my own experiences, but I don't just feel this way about homosexual people, women these days get called sluts just for breathing and 90% of the time it's rightfully so. Everything is just so goddamn sexualized now and it's promoted so much now that I can understand why a person would be so confused about their own identity

>>17211047
>and most homosexual girls (and bisexuals too) are more the committed-relationship type.
They may say they're more committed, but domestic violence is more common in homosexual relationships and lesbians have the highest divorce rates.

Question for anyone, how close are you with your siblings? Do you talk about each other's sex lives or whatever?
I'm asking because I recently had a conversation with my (tipsy) sis about her rather failed sex life (I'm a girl too, lesbian though) and it was pretty awkward to me. We're close and I love her and all but I just don't feel like it's something we ought to discuss in detail.

>>17211054
Yeah obviously either of the our anecdotes aren't portraying the gay community accurately.
But yeah, everything is all about sex apparently. I'm not a fan either - of sexualising everything, obviously I'm a fan of sex generally - but there's not much to be done about it. I just pity today's teens who think they need double-Ds and a fancy for the taste of dick to ever find a guy (or conversely, a 12 inch penis)

>>17211059
>Question for anyone, how close are you with your siblings?
Not at all. I rather dislike him.

>Do you talk about each other's sex lives or whatever?
Wouldnt even if he did leave his room.

>>17211059
I would not talk to my sisters about their sex lives (guy here) but they've joked about it around me once (not really paying attention to the fact I'm a guy and don't wanna hear that)

My brother is only 15 but when he starts having sex I'll probably talk to him about it

I doubt it would be frequently enough a conversation to pay it any mind though

>>17211061
Okay, well I do like my sister and we get along quite well but I still feel it's something you'd rather talk about with friends, but I thought maybe that's me being weird.

>>17211064
So you'd say it's more about same or opposite sex siblings?

>>17211067
>but I still feel it's something you'd rather talk about with friends
I have maybe two friends I would talk about something like that. I wouldn't say anything more than if I've been intimate with some woman otherwise.

Honestly seems disrespectful to whoever I'm sleeping with otherwise.

>>17211059
I'm super close to my sister she lives in my apartment. And yes we talk about that alot.

>>17211067
I would say it's more about who you feel comfortable with discussing with. As a guy, I definitely don't want to even think about what dicks go into my sister, but I feel like you as a woman should be more considerate of her telling you those things. You would feel much more awkward if your brother told you about how he was having sex with some girl right? If not you conform to a typical lesbian stereotype

>>17211072
I don't know, I consider sexuality a pretty fascinating topic and I enjoy talking about it with friends, I'm just not sure why it was so awkward with my sister all of a sudden.

>>17211075
Yeah it's the same situation for us, live together too.

>>17211076
I don't have a brother but I feel like that wouldn't be any more awkward? I mean at least he'd be sleeping with women too so we'd have common ground kind of? I don't know haha.
And I'm not aware of any lesbian stereotypes except flannel shirts, which I rather dislike.

>>17211081
So I figured out the problem. You just hate men, that's why you can't handle her talking about it.

>>17211087
u wot mate. I don't hate men at all, I just don't date them. I have lots of male friends and I don't mind talking about sex with straight friends, either.

To folks who are in or have experimented with open relationships/poly amorous relationships:

Would you say that your lifestyle is built on the fact that you have separated your emotional self from your physical self?

Is it really possible for you to sleep with many people and love many people at the same time?

Also, do you not feel morally ambiguous knowing that you might be treating your multiple partners unfairly? (or do you always take the precaution to keep it mutual)

Just curious about open relationships in general. I am seeing a guy who is seeing many other women, and it upsets me. Can't tell if I'm insecure or this is the way the modern world works - where loyalty and commitment as qualities are looked down upon as intensely as oppressive things like marriage are.

How does one 'conservative' or 'naive' person such as me adapt?

Thank you.

>gf is in an overly protective family
>I'm a secret and her four 4à something yr old brothers don't like the idea of her having a bf
>they sometimes call her during the day to check up on her
>she just left because one did, she says he sounded pissed and she left to go back home because she's stressed now

Anybody been in such a situation? Any advice to give even if you haven't? I guess I just need to vent, but we were having a great afternoon until that point.

>>17210952
I have a friend that's polyamorous and I've gotten to watch over the years how much he's struggled with jealousy and extremely fucked up relationships.

If you can't handle one person in a relationship, and be respectful and caring, you can't expect to have multiple relationships. Then it's not actually a relationship and just screwing multiple people, which I think a lot of people get confused with.

So, in short, no, I'd never get involved with someone that's interested in a polyamorous relationship. More often than not they don't know how to cater to even one person, let alone multiple, healthy relationships.

>>17210962
are you sure she's not trying to say she's pansexual? a lot of people seem to get the two confused.

>>17211081
>And I'm not aware of any lesbian stereotypes except flannel shirts, which I rather dislike.

Also, colored short hair, baggy/dgaf clothes, and the fact that they vanish as soon as they have relationships

Or at least, that's what my best friend always bitches about/makes fun of. She, of course, has short hair she dies dark blue, and her girlfriend permanently wears flannel lol.

Oh, and as a random straight guy looking from the outside in on gay culture (childhood friend is gay came out in college--finally, best friend is lesbian, hung out gay bars, gay night clubs (there's one in vegas that's pretty cool), been at lesbian night clubs, been hit on, heard stories, seen stories made.

Lesbians can be just as thirsty as gay men, gay men can be incredibly thirsty, but that's the exact same shit that can happen at regular clubs/bars among straight people.

I get the feeling that with gay guys it's thirstier because they CAN be more obviously thirstier without scaring each other off.

>>17211099
if he's not able to juggle each of those relationships with the same respect, then it's not an actual relationship. A lot of people who claim to be polyamorous don't know what the hell they're doing, and in reality all they're doing is screwing multiple people. This behavior, I believe, IS normal for humans, but what's not normal is not being able to commit in any regards.

So, I don't think you're doing anything wrong, but your partner is by letting something like this carry on when you're obviously hurting. A real polyamorous person is concerned for all the people and works to make sure all the people are okay and aware of each other to some extent. Sounds like your dude is just using it as an excuse to label himself, but is most likely not poly at all.

>>17211112
Yeah I also think guys are just generally more forthright about their sexuality, and as you said gay guys even more so since it's guys squared basically.
Plus there's way fewer gay guys than heteros so when they find one another I assume they feel justified in jumping each other.
And yeah obviously lesbians can be thirsty af too, I can attest to that. And if you're among people who get you it's easier to open up of course.

Do girls with tattoos, piercings and colored hair tend to like guys with those things? Same thing with bad skin, although here it would be more "not mind" than like.

I realise this is a "some do some dont" but I wonder if there's any trend whatsoever here.

>>17211156
I just have my ears pierced and one in the tongue so maybe I don't fall in the "pierced and tattooed" category, but I don't really care much whether my partner has any. I don't go looking for pierced or tattooed partners. It's not something that's super attractive to me, but I don't mind it either.

bf didn't answer my texts last night which made me pretty angry.

now he sent me messages via 2 different media and called me about a thing we are supposed to do tonight, I ignored all of this to show him how I feel

how wrong am I for doing this? I already told him I would like if he replied faster and he said he's sorry, but he can't promise he'll change

>>17211167
I wouldn't necessarily say it's wrong but it's pretty immature in my opinion. Ignoring him because he's answering slowly seems very high school to me.

>>17211167
It's petty and immature.
Don't hold grudges and don't keep the count.
Tell him that you don't like it when he doesn't reply and move on.

>>17211167
You do realise our parents and their parents managed to form lasting relationships with out have to contact people daily.

Making demands form someone over something as trivial as "reply to my texts now!" isn't a sign of affection, its borderline crazy.

>>17209465
I think I have different kinds of orgasms, small ones when it's just intense pleasure down there and vagina spasming but I can continue, and big ones which are more intense, legs shaking, more intense pleasure and I need/want to stop stimulation after they hit

I get the best big orgasms from oral, but I also get the small orgasms (?) almost instantly from hand touching and PIV

>>17211181
I know what you mean but in general it's much easier for me to write than talk, I enjoy it a lot

but I'm trying to get rid of this texting addiction, I just sometimes feel jealous because I know couples who text all the time whereas my bf prefers to meet more in person, which is sometimes too much for me

but thanks for replies

>>17211167
I would drop you, you sound a bit crazy.

Women

Why do you do the whole thing where you go down on us and suck our dicks for entire 20 seconds only to abruptly stop, thinking that it was sufficient?

>>17211199
now that's a helpful advice... crazy why?

>>17211201

I'm not a chick but

1.) Logically think about it, they don't have dicks. How the hell are they supposed to know?
2.) Who do you know that does this?
3.) Clearly you're doing it wrong.

>>17211201
Hahahaha. But seriously i want to know that too

>>17211201
Maybe they don't like it but they think it's better than nothing. Maybe they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Maybe they have zero interest in pleasing you and they're fucking you as a chore.
You can just, really, ask to spend more time doing it.
Or if she's chill, even lightly press her head down if you want more, I don't mind when my boyfriend does it.

>>17211209
1. They aren't supposed to know the point of oral sex? Yet they make some kind of judgement call to stop... based on what exactly?
2. Multitude of women who I have had the unfortunate luck of letting enwrap my dick with their severely subpar skilled lips.

3. How the hell am I doing something wrong?

So I did the dumbest thing of all time and fell in love and told her about it. She said that we should be friends. I feel like dying every time I talk to her now, it's like someone is squeezing my throat and insides and I think it's impossible for me to stay friends with her. Does it get better or should I just never see and talk to her again? This really fucking sucks.

>>17211219
1.) They don't know what it feels like. (see 3)
2.) Sucks for you (see 3)
3.) Feedback. Apparently you blow at it. And if you're quietly dead fishing it, of course they're going move on.

Plus, I'm guessing an equal amount of women complain about men not spending enough time during cunnilingus

>>17211239
Distance yourself till you're over her, then if you want talk to her again.
It won't get better if you keep talking to her.

>>17211241
>deadfishing a blowjob

What am I supposed to do? Scream and yell?
Clearly you are a kissless virgin who never got his dick licked let alone sucked.

>>17211219
>judgement call to stop
what about the judgement call to start huh? nice try

>>17211250
Oh no! You caught me lying on an anonymous board and are challenging my masculinity! *rolls eyes*

You have these things called hands and this thing called a voice. Use them.

Stroke her hair, pull it up, run your fingers through it, caress her face, moan, talk dirty, hold her deeper (careful with this one), act like it feels fucking spectacular. Make her WANT to continue.

Don't just sit there on your hands, quietly with your dick in her mouth, 'til she decides your bored/she starts to get self-conscious about doing it wrong so she decides to stop before she embarrasses herself because it sounds like you're not enjoying it.

That same shit applies to sex and making out too. If you're ever sitting there all quite with your hands doing nothing, guess what, you're boring as fuck at sex.

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Do girls enjoy rejecting guys?

Also, if you're afraid of men, why don't you get /fit/ and carry something to protect yourself? Maybe learn self defense or something

>>17211284
>Do girls enjoy rejecting guys?
No. It's embarrassing and I feel really bad for them.

>Also, if you're afraid of men, why don't you get /fit/ and carry something to protect yourself?
I am not personally "afraid of men". I do avoid going around alone half naked and drunk in dark alleys, but I've rarely been really worried or afraid. I'm just responsible.
Men are generally stronger than women. I am decently fit but most of my friends could stop me if I tried to hit them or something. I do know some self defense, but if someone wanted to hurt me, he would.
I don't carry weapons because I don't like them.

>>17211284
>Do girls enjoy rejecting guys?

If they do pretty sure this falls under:

>>17209104
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

But the by and large, it sounds like they don't.

My girlfriend for example, felt like absolute shit last Wednesday and came to see me to get a drink because a co-worker asked her out (we live like an hour away, so we normally only see each other on weekends, but she works like halfway to where I live). She of course had the reject him, and felt like crap even though she'd already mentioned me to him specifically (but he decided to buy her chocolates, flowers, and ask her out in front of all their co-workers anyway)

^^^ Annd I know if I were her, I would have just called him a dumb ass and felt absolute no regret rejecting his ass, but it legit bugged her because that kind of shit ALWAYS bugs her (she absolutely hates letting people down or making people sad).

>>17211284
No, it's awkward for both sides and makes me feel cruel.

I'm not afraid of men, generally. I'm not afraid of being raped nightly or some such shit, but I don't walk around naked through black neighborhoods at midnight screaming I hate niggers, so maybe I'm doing okay.

I'm this guy from the other thread >>17208701

So, I talked to her and she said they went out some times. Than I asked if they had sex. She said yes. Fuck... I'm feeling like shit.

I really like her a lot, but imagining the fact they had a thing is beyond insane for me.

Can you guys redpill me?

>>17211307
>I really like her a lot,

If the fact that she was a real human being complete with a real history--instead of whatever fantasy version of her you've concocted in your head--turns you off, then no. You, apparently, DO NOT like her a lot.

Pop your own fantasy bubble.

>next week it will be a month since I broke up with my boyfriend
>still absolutely infatuated with him and I want him back very badly
>when we broke up we decided we still wanted to be friends but when I tried to talk to him at a party about a week after we broke up, he requested that I give him some space to get over me
>I know he is sad about it too, his friends are worried about him and he keeps getting very drunk/high at parties and passing out which he never used to do
>next week is my senior prom
>seeing the pics of me on social media will make him nostalgic
>we were going to go to prom together until we broke up
>I haven't spoken to him since he requested I give him space
>but is it a bad idea to ask him to hang out after prom next week if I have given him a month?
I miss him so much I don't think I can go any longer without seeing him...

>>17211358
Why did you break up? It depends on the situation.

Guys, do you kiss your mom with the same mouth that you kiss a slut's anus?
Girls, do you kiss your mom with the same mouth that you suck dick?

>>17211379
No, I have different mouths I carry with me, depending on who I run into.

>>17211387
LOL

>>17209533
>Wait, why? I thought guys are pretty happy when they cum too, I mean isn't that the whole reason?
It feels intensely great for a couple of seconds and then directly back to normal.

>>17210952
No.

>>17211167
Dude he was prolly asleep or something. Also it's not a matter of being wrong or not, what you're doing isn't going to work.

>>17210438
>>17211026
Thanks anons

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>>17209434
>from the 3 billion women on this planet, not one is interested in casual sex, because we're pure of heart, how else would we ride unicorns
>pure of heart
>women

You're all so pure of heart you expect men to essentially offer you offer you any number of Commodities, payed services in order to date you.
lord knows how many women don't date multiple men at one time.
The only women pure of heart are those that strait up charge for sex.

>>17211167
>I ignored all of this to show him how I feel
All you're causing him is distress by not telling him what upset you. By being up front about it and >not< doing what you just did, you promote transparency and effective problem-solving to your relationship.

>>17211481

The joke
-----------------
Your head

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>>17211481
So you don't understand sarcasm, huh. Got it.

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>>17211481
kek

>>17209323

It sort of depends how ingrained it is in his personality, and what kind of flirting it is.
If he knows exactly what he's saying and it's easy enough for him to cut it out, then not doing so is a pretty dick move.
If it's one of those things where it's just his personality and he's not even doing it consciously and doesn't realise he's said something that would bug you until you point it out to him, that's a bit trickier. And while I feel like he should still make an effort, it's also something that begs patience and understanding on your part, and might be one of those things were you have to either compromise or ask yourselves if you're a great match.

The way you say 'he doesnt intend on pursuing any of the women or cheating' makes it sound like a conscious choice, like he's knowingly taking it to a certain point, which is pretty uncool. But granted, this is your side of the situation and may be skewed.

Like, I feel like even very overt flirting is harmless when it's between two friends who mutually understand that it means nothing. But one could also say it's 'just harmless flirting' if they're trawling Tinder every night to catch-and-release hot strangers without going beyond flirty chats, and I don't think that's harmless at all.

>>17209323
If his flirting was in person, I would say he's probably harmless, because I'm a huge flirt myself. But it's over social media, which is very much a conscious effort. I don't come off as flirty over text, only in real life simply because of my personality. So I doubt that it's that. He seems like he's definitely in control of what he's doing, and if he respects you, he'll stop.

>>17209544

It's stupid. I agree with the other anon that it just makes me feel like a child.
It's also really awkward. Even if it was the social standard a generation or so ago, it's not the standard anymore. My life experience hasn't given me any expectation to be treated like that, so catching up to what's happening always creates a jarring, irritating delay.
Like if I'm behind someone and we're about to go through a door, I wait for them because they're in front and that's the way it works. But then it turns out they're waiting for me because 'ladies first', and now I have to catch up to that and then humour them by going first even thought it goes against my own idea of polite behaviour, while already feeling bad for causing a delay by not understanding what was happening. It's like fuck, just go, we could have both been through the door by now.

But of course, if you love chivalry, you want to attract a girl who loves it too, so go for your life and fuck the likes of me.

>>17209544
Whilst 'casual' or dating, no thanks. In LTR- in general day to day life, no thanks. In LTR when we are dressed up for an event (wedding, funeral, formal function etc) yes please. In that situation it shows me he's still into me, and I feel that he's sending a 'back off, I'm taken, this is my lady' message to other women, which is lovely in situations where there are a lot of gorgeous women around.

>>17210889

If you're nervous being alone with someone then... well, first, if you're genuinely nervous you probably shouldn't do it. But if it's a nervousness you feel is just silly and want relief from, you can always text a friend about what you're doing so you've got someone on the outside who has your back. Someone who can give the guy's name to police in case he chops you into little pieces and you can't do it yourself.

Are 4 inch pubes too long, or should I manscape

>>17211643
chicks dig braided pubes

>>17211645
Chick here, can confirm. Nothing gets me hotter than a guy who can knot his beard to his pubes.

>>17210996
>I am strictly monogamous myself, wayyyyy to jealous to even think of something like this. I guess deep down I feel like I can potentially make her just want an exclusive relationship with me?
I wouldn't go into it with this attitude. Just be honest with her about what you want, the same way she has been with you.
If you're really not compatible, it's probably a disastrous road to go down. If you really like each other, you'll probably find a way to compromise or one of you will find a way to be comfortable fulfilling the other's need.

And if she's never even been in a relationship before, she might be more open to trying out monogamy as long as you don't present your wish in a controlling or judgemental manner.

See the main problem that I'm having is that it's coming in extremely thick and long, five+ inches on the left and right of the shaft. It looks like an old time villain stash.

Should I just trim it to look even more like that.

I don't know why but I have to give a woman an orgasm.

Hell, I don't give a shit if I will never have PiV sex, as long as we can fingerbang, and/or do oral, I'll give a woman an orgasm so good it will last more than 5 seconds.

Or I like vaginas too much.

Thoughts?

>>17211677
I'm pretty sure all my orgasms ever have lasted way longer than 5 seconds, but apart from that I'm not sure what you're getting at.

>>17211099

Just swap out sex for some other disagreeable trait.
Let's say he has a habit of bungee jumping, and it makes you really uncomfortable because you're scared he'll hurt himself. Do you think it'd be disrespectful for him to disregard your feelings and do it anyway, knowing how it makes you feel? Do you think it'd be disrespectful of you to insist he ceases the activity, relative to how rational your fears are?

If you're upset about this, you should be able to talk about it with him, where you can either be reassured or come to a compromise. If you both can't do that, you're not in a very good relationship, monogamous or not.

Don't tolerate polyamory simply because you don't think you can get anything else. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be monogamous, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to live in Brazil while your partner dreams of moving to Iceland. Sometimes people just don't line up. Even if he's doing everything right (and it's likely that he's not), you're not at fault for not being okay with that.

Why do girls not like long black things that shoot tiny metal balls really fast?

>>17211167
>how wrong am I for doing this?
100%

I really hope you're underaged, because if you're not, that's just sad.
Don't play mind games. If you feel bad, use your words and tell him.

>>17211709
I have no idea.
Why do guys generally dislike shopping for heels?

>>17211201
>that's it
>keep going
>that feels so good

Congratulations, now she knows she's doing something right and will keep doing it instead of moving on to try something else before she embarrasses herself.

femanons:

I had an ex kind of contact me recently (sent me a random message and added me, but played it off as a mistake.) We began talking again a few weeks ago (previously had not talked for a really long time, a few years really.) And we've been talking a lot - a few hours of chatting in skype each day. Just recently she mentioned that she has a new bf, and he's aware that she's talking to me and isn't very happy about it, but hasn't told her to stop.

I guess my question is: Why did she start talking to me again, if she already has a new bf? Why now, after so much silence?

Maybe I could learn how to do knots with rope. Then I could tie my girl up, and cackle maniacally as I twiddle my understash.

Muhahahaha!

>>17211284
>Do girls enjoy rejecting guys?
No.

>Also, if you're afraid of men, why don't you get /fit/ and carry something to protect yourself? Maybe learn self defense or something
You realise many women do this, right? And that unless she becomes a powerlifter, even /fit/ women will still be weaker than normie-teir fit men? And that self defence is such an over saturated and unregulated practice (due to demand from all the women who want to be able to defend themselves) that it's all pretty much useless confidence boosting placebos, unless she pursues something at a competitive level and makes it a huge part of her life?

>>17211735
Maybe she was bored or randomly thought of you, that happens. Doesn't have to mean anything.

>>17211716
Because it's boring and has no cause other than to make you look pretty in a world that over-sexualizes women

>>17211735
The obvious answer is attention. She could be seeing if she can use you to swing the power dynamic in her new relationship in her favor. Of course she could just have texted you by mistake and is interested in catching up, some people are really like that.

If I had to guess, it sounds like she's trying to swing the power in the new relationship back to her, a common strategy to do that is to talk/text ex's.

>>17211752
Well and most women will tell you something like "guns for sport are useless, you don't get fit using them, hurting cute deer is horrible, you use guns to feel strong and manly which is ridiculous, blah blah".
My point being, men and women have various different interests and they don't always overlap. If shooting is an important hobby to you, find a woman who enjoys it as well, or at least doesn't give a shit. They're out there.

>>17211735

Sounds like an attention whore. She might want you, might be using you as a pawn in her current relationship, or she might just be an inconsiderate jerk fucking around. Sounds like trouble to me.

>>17211750

I thought that at first, but we've been talking more than the random catchup would really seem to entail

>>17211755

Something I forgot to say is that she did say she was moving in with the new bf as well

Really I'm getting weird vibes from the whole thing, it seems weird to begin talking to an ex for hours each day right before you move in with a new bf

>>17211769
maybe she wants to rub it in your face how well she's doing?

Hey guys/gals. I have a question. Before heading into the question, I'm a very anxious person, I overthink everything and I get really afraid when it comes to things about my girl. So, we've been together for 7 months now. We only spoke a bit about our ex's (we both had one before, mine lasted 1 month, broke it off like 2 years ago, hers 3 years, she broke off around 14 months ago). My question is: should I be afraid? I mean, a 3 year relationship, her first partner, it's something big, so I don't know. She loves me and I know that, but should I be worried about that guy? Should I ask things about him? I know that in the end it was bad, they were going on and off until they decided they should just split their ways. She is really emotional, so I imagine she must've been a wreck, even knowing that they weren't good anymore.

Again, thanks for listening to me, and sorry.

>>17211668
Do it.

>>17211677
You're a rare minority, so whoever you end up with will never let you go. You have no idea how disappointing the majority of men are with sex. I have a friend who had been faking her orgasms for five years with her boyfriend. That's the reality for a lot of women.

>>17211735
She might miss you. If you were friends beforehand, she might be wanting to rekindle that friendship. I know a lot of people are screaming attention whore, but sometimes you just want to reconnect with someone who knows you. There's nothing wrong with still being close to someone who you were once intimate with. It's almost expected.

>>17211772

I don't know if that's it. She's basically said she's moving in with him because she has nowhere else to go.

>>17211789
I get this from so many of my hetero friends, like 70% of them seem to be sexually dissatisfied but also too ashamed/afraid to discuss it with their boyfriends.

>>17211800
I'm not sure I get that? So she's in a bad place, maybe looking to you for stability?