Tell us your story, anon.
>>17203866
Dear OP,
Why are you always a faggot?
Love,
Anon.
I think I made the wrong choice to break up with my gf
I recently caught myself becoming more and more dumb with every year. Somehow concepts that were easy to understand now seem to be difficult and impossible, however, they have the same exact level of complexity, it didn't change. I struggle with remembering, lost an ability to write in my native tongue, now I'm making mistakes and can't see any logic in my own thoughts. Feels like fog in my head. Everything I've been learning is forgotten, I do remember the fact, but can't remember anything behind it.
Just want to vent my shit.
I sent my ex of 3 months a text this morning that I feel it's better if I cut of all contact possible with her. We did not text or whatsapp for a couple of weeks but on Facebook, her name and appearance still passes me by and I'm just fed up with it. I deleted her this morning and sent her a text saying I did, that I think that it's the best for my sanity overall. But, to feel like I completely block someone out of my life who used to mean so much to me, it sucks so much.
I've been listening to 'Someone Great' by LCD Soundsystem for about half an hour now and I'm crying bitch tears again since about a month again. Breakups fucking suck.
My GF of 2 years thinks I'm taking a 4 year university study but it's actually 3 years and it's taken me 4 because my father (who finances me) went to prison for a year and I had to go home to help my mom.
I've been holding this lie for 2 years and I don't know how to deal with it.
How long have you got?
>26 KV
>No real friends except a parasite.
>wageslave with a 15K student loan
>don't drink or drugs, seems like everyone who is anyone does
>never fit in anywhere, and now that geek is mainstream I can't even fit into it...
>...I mean, I never met any other geeks for years and then when I find some it turns out they're far more socially-competent than me
>thought about joining a church group, but turns out most of them are HUGE hypocrites
>6 grey hairs in the span of a week
>tension headaches all the time, probably a tumour knowing my luck
>don't even lift
What's the point man?
Seeing you every day hurts too much. It feels like someone is choking my insides.
I've been having a sort of prolonged epiphany for the past few days.
It started when i had to give a presentation on something. Was in the backup class session since had to go to an exam instead of the normal one. Only one group of girls there, plus the prof. I was in a group by myself, of course. The interactions before and after the prez were nothing but ridiculous clownish awkwardness as usual, from both me and them (incl the prof). But I went up and gave a shockingly skillful presentation for a supposed autist, and it reminded me that i'm not actually a fucking autist, i've been on 2 debate teams and competed at tournaments in 3 events.
Realized that I never learned any of the basic social skills since I never actually wanted to: i'm a stubborn bastard and i can learn basically anything i feel like it, but if i don't want to learn it, nobody can teach me no matter hard they try. I always liked being a weirdo, never really wanted to make small talk. It's a waste of time.
Also remembered that I never learned how to "read" people because i don't want to: i want everyone to keep feeling comfortable around me, the way i've always felt around actual autists. I don't want to judge people and have them feel bad for "dropping spaghetti" or whatever.
Finally, I realized that it's not that girls don't look at or want me. I think i'm a little on the ugly side, but i dress nicely and style my hair and shit. Walking back from class today i noticed girls smiling at me, looking away quickly and giggling, checking me out, etc. And just realized an interaction this morning was probably an awkward attempt at flirting. No, it's not that girls don't like me, it's that I generally don't like them (or guys, either). Never really have. I don't feel bad about being a virgin at 21, never had anyone to lose it to. And fuck going to bars or whores: waste of time and money.
>[continued]
>Literally cannot feel attraction for 3D women
>My attitude towards them ranges from mild irritation to pure rage
>2D women evoke a wide range of emotions within me: they make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me love and they make me fear
>Not sure if something is wrong with me
[spoiler]>Can't discuss this with my therapist, I'd have to start explaining what anime is, then explain the concept of a "waifu" and if she still doesn't think I'm insane I have to explain her - a woman- that I hate women because they don't live up to the standards of my Chinese cartoons[/spoiler]
Continued from >>17203940
This girl, D, has helped enormously. I texted her right after that presentation, realized i was a moron not to, and my crippling self-hatred was clouding my judgement. She's not some porcelain doll, it's not like i'll hurt her somehow by talking to her. Would hurt more to keep ignoring her, probably.
I've asked shit like "how's your day been" for the first time in my life. Realized i never asked before not because i don't know how to (or am incapable of) such small talk, but because i never actually gave a shit how anyone's day was. Now I do. I actually care about D and want to know how she's doing.
I think I've found a friend. This is new. I genuinely like her.
I don't even know whether anything more than friendship is possible: maybe she has a boyfriend. Or maybe she's a lesbian and has a girlfriend, or just doesn't see me as anything more than a friend. Who knows. The funny thing is, I don't even really mind: whatever the answer is, I can accept it. Whatever she wants is fine with me.
Finally, i've realized that what i've been trying to do for far too long is to fit in somewhere. Anywhere. If not with normal people, then with misfits, with nerds, with autists, socially anxious dudes, miscellaneous rejects like other anons here, with losers and neckbeards, with anyone. But the truth is that I don't fit in anywhere, with anyone, and I never will.
But that's fine by me. I'm not really like other people, and I don't particularly like most people either. It's not that I hate them or wish them ill, hell no. I wish everyone the best on their path in life. It's just that i don't seem to truly LIKE them.
Finding someone I DO actually like has helped me realize this, and I'm deeply thankful for that.
>>17203885
digital dementia? look it up
especially if you've been playing mmorpg's or lots of easy-ish video games that take up a lot of your free time. really bad for your brain.
>>17203893
This is what I fear.
Fucking dreading being single for the first time in years
>>17203975
>no world wars lately, no mandatory military drafts to kill off these weak links
>>17203866
Sure, since you asked for it.
Here is approximately the last 10 years of my existence (gonna be few posts long).
>12 old something, shy as fuck kid with a single friend, bullied by both girls, as well as more popular boys, who both spread rumors than I and my friend were gay, because we liked to play together in the schoolyard's woods, draw comics together, and in general, act like a bunch of nerds with weird interests.
>this bullying led to the sense that nobody, especially no girl, saw me as anything other than "that weird gay faggot who plays in the woods" which eventually devolved to just "that weird faggot".
>When puberty hit the confusing emotions just bolstered my insecurities, and fears, and I started to both hate myself, as well as any feelings I was developing for girls. It didn't help that girls still kept bullying me, and treating me like garbage, while guys had for the most part stopped, other than occasionally do shit like knock me around, or call me a faggot.
>spent basically the remaining of primary school awkwardly just trying to get by, avoiding girls because I didn't want to be called a fatass yet again, (I wasn't even that fat, just a bit chubby), with massive anger and self hatred issues boiling beneath me.
>come high school, I get put into a class where I don't know anyone, and immediately, my insecurities begin to ring warning bells, and I do my best to shy away from everyone, in order to not cause any unwanted attentions (which at this point in my life, had always been bullying and teasing).
>don't make any new friends, only socialize with a couple of old acquaintances I knew back from primary school, 3 years go by.
>by the end of the last year, end up hearing that everyone thought that I was about to shoot up the school any day now. I also don't pass the entrance exams to the school where I was applying to, which sucks massively because...
Fucking never thought I'd be in one of these threads.
I am sick of feeling inadequate. This feeling of always being second best to the rest of my workmates, my friends and family is corrosive, and it demoralizes me into almost nothing. I've tried for many years to be the one who people come to for advice for at least SOMETHING, but there is always someone willing to shit on my parade.
Allow me to provide a few examples:
>Whenever we play vidya, I am always the "shit one", the one who is the constant target from my mates
>In our TeamSpeak and IRL, I am constantly belittled and antagonized, and any retaliation is seen as an opportunity to go harder, while staying silent sees the opportunity to also go harder, and guarantee certain defeat
>At work, despite working hard, I'm never the one in the cliques and shit, and everyone else is allowed to get away with stuff, but the second I do it, it's literally the worst thing ever
>Also at work and on TeamSpeak/IRL, I am treated like a 5 year old child and talked down do. I fucking loathe it
>My personal opnions are regularly disregarded and belittled, and as above, retaliation is futile, but also, whenever I DO retaliate, they act as if I have shot their dog
Perhaps I'm too nice and am passive socially. I do try to become assertive, but I get shut down. I've suffered this for 13 years.
I no longer have a desire to be social. I no longer want to see through my personal projects (my novel). I no longer want to put in effort anywhere anymore. What's the point when I'm always going to be subpar to everyone? I literally feel like a failure everyday. I drink excessively now to drown out the torment.
I'm going to Japan next week with some mates, and from there, I may go off the grid completely.
I don't even feel worthy of living to be honest.
>>17203866
I wan't to die
>>17204250
>19 years old, means conscription here where I live, spent 6 months in the army with a horrible sleep rhythm, still failing to make any new friends, because my army mates thought I was a lazy weird asshole or something (which, to be fair, I sorta was). I shared no hobbies or interests with any of them, so there was nothing really but our mutual discomfort at being in cold, and dark woods digging fake mines into the ground for practice to bond over.
>Get out of army, find myself in a somewhat directionless situation, try to start preparing for the entrance exam of the school I applied for year earlier, discover that I had basically forgotten everything but the basics of the subject in the army, fail the exam again, start falling into depression. I am 20 at this point.
>completely directionless, work at my father's metalworking firm which I hated, depression worsening, no friends, starting to become suicidal.
>January 2014, get sent to live at my aunt's place by my parents, in order to visit a relative of my aunt's husband, whose job is to help young people figure out what they want to study. During this time, form a strong bond with my, back then, 9 and 11 or so old cousins, who constantly sought to spend time with me. They were pretty much the only friends and company I had, and with them, I felt actually truly, genuinely happy, for the first time in a long, long time. Those two little girls were the light of my life back then.
>The youth therapist or whatever I was seeing, basically concludes after few months of seeing her semi regularly, that I am probably depressed, and should seek help, and that she can't really help me in my current condition.
>>17204259
>Go back home, depression comes back with a vengeance, now that I no longer had the company of my cousins to make feel happy and loved, feel like utter shit, start hurting myself physically, and finally lash out at my parents who kept bugging me. They realize how fucked in the head I am, eventually, the autumn of that year, I get into a program trough which I started getting meds, and proper therapy.
>2015 goes slowly, with me seeing a therapist regularly, slowly working trough my issues, taking meds, and occasionally visiting my cousins, over time, start feeling a bit better, and towards the end of 2015, decide to apply to study something completely different than the stuff I previously tried and failed to get in.
>2016 comes, move out to study to the same city where my aunt and her family lives in February, with a new, a bit more positive mindset, try to be sociable with the people whom with I live with in the student apartment complex.
>slowly adapt to a new rhythm in life, try to get used to the changes. Visit my aunt's folks occasionally, seeing my cousins. Also befriend a girl who lives in the same apartment complex. At first, we just watch movies together from the tv, or play board games, but as weeks pass by, I start realizing that I have developed feelings towards her, feelings which I had never felt before.
>start spending more and more time with her, as I enjoyed her company. We went to the movies and hung out in the city and in general, spent tons of time together, often staying up all the way past midnight just chatting and watching youtube videos.
>never in my life, had I been able to interact with a girl like this before. She seemed to enjoy my company, and actively sought to spend time with me, and I thought that she might have actually liked me, but as I had no experience with this type of shit, I never found the courage to tell her that I like her. Still, even her just being my only friend here was fine with me.
>>17204266
>Things seemed to be going well, until one day, after a big argument over inconsequential shit (immigrants), she basically told me that I should never be in contact with my cousins again. It turned out, that for the past 2 years, she had been thinking that I was a pedophile, for enjoying spending time with my cousins. This pretty much ruined my relationship with her and her family (and by expy, my folks and her folks as well, as my parents were fucking furious about those allegations), and I haven't been in any contact with her or her family since.
>while that debacle did hurt me tremendously (I love my cousins, they are the sweetest little girls imaginable, and the fact that my aunt thinks that I had some horrid desires of intentions towards them offends and hurts me.), I was able to sorta get over it, after all, I still had the girl who I had befriended, so it wasn't like I was totally fucking alone here, with nobody who cared about me.
>It was not to last however.
>Come about a month and a half before this day, the girl I got a crush on, and who I thought to be my friend, starts to become increasingly cold, and distant from me. No longer responding to messages, or seeking to spend time with me, and seemingly enjoying my company less and less, it gets to the point where she barely even acknowledged my existence, even if I was in the same room with her. This hurt me immensely, and sent me back into my depressive spiral hard. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't understand why she started acting that way.
>then, after a few weeks, she suddenly acts like nothing had happened, we start spending time together again, even go out together a couple of times, until she drops me like a sack of rocks, again, with no explanation.
>at this point, I start to think that maybe she doesn't like me the way I like her, or worse, she is just playing with me, only enjoying the attention I give her, with no intentions of ever really reciprocating my feelings back.
>>17204268
And that brings us to this day.
I'm Immensely hurt, sad, and lonely, I don't know what to do, and now she is moving out of the apartment complex, and I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I got nobody here anymore. No friends, my aunt thinks that I am a god damn pedophile after my own cousins, and thus I am no longer welcome in her household.
I just don't know where to find the strength to carry on. I have lost my passion and interest towards my hobbies, studies, and life in general.
I am so god damn tired, and the spiral of depression seems to be constantly one extremely bad day away. I never want to fall into that pit of despair again, but as it is, seems like it is just a matter of time.
And that is the brief story of the better part of my 23 years of existence.
>>17204278
Well...you do browse 4chan, so I guess that's maybe where she got the idea from.
>>17204319
She didn't know that I browsed 4chan.
Besides, just browsing this site doesn't make one a pedo.
>>17190598
E,
I almost missed your post...
As you, too, were both the best, and worst, thing to ever happen to me. Neither of us was truly ready for one another, and we both left a large amount of scars on the other; I am sorry for not being the man I am now, but I never thought it possible for emotion so strong to exist. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was as a child, and did not treat you as you deserved. I am flawed.
I, too, hate what I did, as I hate what you did. That you hate me breaks what was left of my heart. Still, I think of you often, and dream of memories we never had a chance to make.
A year and a half later, and you still feel this way... You are a smart woman, and you have to know why. You know how strong our connection is, and it is still there... Think about that. Also think on this, that both times I have said I I was done with this thread, you have responded to prevent that; I haven't posted in months, and you know I will now stay.
Meet me for coffee; try to see the man I am now, and what could be. I would come to you, again, as I did so long ago. At the least, it could banish me from your thoughts, or your dreams.
Regardless, I will always love you.
- R
I'm camwhoring and I fucking hate it, I suck at it, but I can't have a real job because childcare is too expensive and I'm not qualified for anything that would make it worth it.
I'm gonna fail my semester, because of my depression and social anxiety I was afraid to leave my flat. I'd like to do something that pays well, and I could pay back the cost of my tuition to my parents, but with my skills nobody hires me. I didn't do my tasks the school has given me, so if I go in tomorrow, I'll fail anyways. I got 2 girls I can fuck, though.
Come back and talk to me.
I wanna talk to him because I thought he was my friend but I got all stupid and autistic-like last time.
I think it's best for everyone else if I just owned my isolation and kept clear for the time being.
The trouble with "taking things slowly" in a relationship is that you just end up spending 7 months figuring out that you're not really that good a couple. Then you feel like you've been building something when really you've just been too laid back and too careful about being 'serious' to talk about the real fucking SHIT that needs taking about.
>>17204819
Well talk to them about it!
>>17204835
I already have a rep for being the one who likes to talk about our relationship, being the serious emotional one. I'd get destroyed if I was honest about what some of my issues are. Utterly destroyed.
If there's some deep rooted shit that's fucking me up inside, it's done a good job.
I've been hypersexual since I was little. Even more so as an adult, and I've no savings since I keep wasting it away on company.
Now, my folks want to kick me out the house just because I'm 24. But I don't know how to deal with myself. Any sort of risk that could be beneficial to me only results in me irrationally justifying avoiding it.
>>17203940
>>17204061
An update: Talked to her again today. Interesting conversation.
Not fruitful though. At the end of the day, I just feel like an alien again.
Like an alien whose ship broke down, leaving me stranded on this strange planet among strange people. I like trying to understand them, some are very nice, like this girl. She's not like other girls, and i'm interested in her. But when I say that, i don't say it in the romantic cliche way: what i mean is "she's not like other human females: i'm excited to potentially be cataloging a new subspecies". And that's all well and good. But she asked me some questions as well, such as if i'd ever kissed anyone, had a crush, etc. And my answers were unsatisfying to say the least, to both of us. I haven't kissed anyone because i haven't had anyone to kiss, and i'm not sure if i've had any real crushes (i don't think so).
This same girl asked me, months ago, if i was lonely. Well, I suppose I am, but I don't know for sure, because I have nothing to compare it to: i haven't ever been non-lonely. At the end of the day, sure I'm interested in understanding people, but what I really dream of is finding another of my kind. Or at least an alien of another species. Another lost traveler, stranded here like me. I wonder if that'll ever happen. Maybe i'm the only one here, the only one dumb enough to crash-land on this planet. Maybe there are many others around me, but we can't see through each others' disguises.
I suppose all i can do is keep my eyes open.
I'm checking myself into the psych ward tomorrow.
Going to be spending my birthday there.
This is not how I envisioned my life going at this point.
Brought all of this shit on myself; the drug use, the isolation, alienating myself from my friends.
I would give everything I have for peace of mind, save for the hope of having it.
I miss the quiet reassurance of the sound the rain makes against the windows when I wake up early in the morning. I miss the feeling of safety when I walk outside to hear the crickets at night in the summer. It's all just noise to me now.
I want to feel like a person again.
Please god I'm scared I just want to have my life back I'm sorry.
I'm mentally disturbed and no one cares about me.
I might just commit suicide
I'm really worried about the health of my SO, because it's not very good.
I miss her. Nobody understood me like she did, and I could never open up to anyone but her.
>>17203866
Holy fuck is getting a birth prescription renewed such a fucking headache. Hardly any gynecologists, the ones available can't get me in before my birth control runs out, which is also the same time I'm going to the beach with the bf. It's fucking ridiculous that I have to go to the doctor every single year for my birth control, especially when it takes so long to get in.
>>17205069
Can't you help in some way?
I want to call...
>>17205155
It feels as if I can't, though I suspect it's because I just don't really know how to help. The cause of the problems are related to mental wellbeing. Of course I try to be generally supportive and all that, it just sucks I can't (or don't know how to) do anything more.
>>17205038
I'm sure people do care about you, and you can get better, remove yourself from distress in your life but don't harm yourself
Ok folks this is a bit retarded but bear with me for a sec.
>I live in a rural area and the only job I have is caring for my disabled father which pays the internet and the lodging.
>Problem is I am with HughesNet Satellite for $150 for 65 gigs*been with them for over 3 years going on 4 in November 12th 2016.
>In a rural area of Michigan with no way of getting ahead financially except via Media creation. Have tons of content all made up to share and promote (mostly animations which take up gigs) but the problem is...My older brother who is a constant wage slave for a $15.50 an hour job uses up all the data for his pron which makes my upload/download at 17.9 KBPS very problematic to upload them.
>Local Energy Company Midwest Connections promises to install $100 100 MBPS Down/25 MBPS Upload Fiber Optic to one zone only for this year, Problem is...Marcellus is in the 2nd of the list @36% while North Dowaigiac is at 39%. There is no one living near me and transportation is out of the ideal since my older brother has the only car so I can't share the news of the cheaper internet. Do I use Social Media or is there another way to get my area lit up before the other?
Cannot get a job at the same place my brother works at so thats a no go. Can't leave my father alone since its home job as his care giver.
Better internet is all I need from this point from there I can succeed. But I don't have the balls to wait on it while Satellite keeps draining extra $50 for shitty service.
Only other option is Dial up but thats about it. Rural living sucks.
I dont speak enough! However, I have so much to say. Ive always wanted to express my thoughts, and I realized that I want to create my own podcast. I dont even care if anyone listens, but I want to do this. I am going to cover hard to talk about topics and events in history, and will do it entirely myself for free as a hobby. I would like suggestions on topics that you think are hard to think or talk about? Or just any advice in general?
>>17205081
contact them if you can
Kek...if you flake tonight....
D, I love you're
I can't wait to become a 25 year old virgin
You used me.
I wish i had never fallen in love with you. I'm going to leave you if this keeps up the way it is
>>17205469
Maybe leave before it gets worse.
I'm 24 tomorrow but I have nothing to show for it, no matter what I do. I want to rest, but no one will let me rest. I just want to rest.
I used cum lube for the first time today and I'm so glad I did. I can satiate my cum/creampie fetish now since I don't have a bf anymore.
My close friend is ignoring me and I feel like shit so I've been drunk all day by myself. I didn't think I was this insecure / dependent but I guess I am.
>>17203866
i'm an ex-furfag that seeks redemption in anime
I kind of hate the situations I get thrown in sometimes. Take this, petty as it is. I'm a merchandiser, and on my first day on my own, third week, I met a guy in one of my stores. As soon as we made eye contact, I knew I was fucked. I thought to myself "oh goddammit, I'm gonna crush on this one."
And how it has progressed. We share a dynamic I share with hardly anyone, and after such a short time knowing each other. Ive been working this job nearly a year, but it's not like we see each other every day.
And when I see him, I'm so fucking happy. I just feel light and joyous and shit, and he makes me laugh, and I make him laugh, and it's stupid dumb puppy love for me but I feel it could be so much more. Because I'm happy even after we part. I can't wait to see him again, but I'm not crippled with how much I miss him.
I love the way he teases me. I love how I just feel good around him, how I can really be myself. He's best friend and husband material, but I'm not allowed to date clients. God fucking dammit, as though a spark like him is single anyway.
>>17204278
You sound a lot changed from who you used to be. Please find the courage to carry on. I know you have it in you. I'm terribly sorry things have taken such a turn. But I've learned in 26 years that if you just hang on that little bit longer, it gets better, and life is still worth living. How many years to get through and so many experiences!
I wish you all the best in your journey.
>>17205266
Is your bro paying for the internet or nah?
I need to lower my standards, but I don't want to come to terms with how low they should probably be.
I'm confident and maybe even charismatic but kinda ugly. Looks mean pretty much everything at my age (18), and as much as it annoys me I'm guilty of thinking that way too. I've brushed off girls that are "my level" because they're not too attractive. It's my fault that I'm a lonely virgin but I'm fixated on either finding a girl I'm attracted to so I can fuck her brains out or a girl whose personality fits mine perfectly. (...so I can fuck her brains out)
It also sucks that I'm kinda weird with kinda obscure interests (art, obscure video games), because I can't properly resonate with people past the "we are teenagers we will drink together" social thing
I'm 20 years old. My little brother has uncureable cancer. My mother is broken beyond repair, she collapsed in my arms the other day saying how she just wants to end herself.
My father sits alone somewhere in his house, drowning his sorrows and pretending like nothing is happening.
I work as a builder for minimum wage, my boss has aspergers and loses his shit at me every single day for the slightest thing.
The girl I love lives in another country and is giving up on me.
I'm broke and live in the middle of nowhere, I never meet new people.
I don't know what to do, I just want to find peace.
>>17205594
Everything is transitory, anon. Be there for your family and your brother. If your girl gives up on you at a time like this, then she's not worth it.
Ride it out, and stay strong.
In a year for all you know things could be drastically better.
>>17205597
You're right, I just don't know how to solve all this. As much as I just want to cease my existence I can't, there's too many people depending on me. I haven't really told my girl about what's going on, I don't want to bring her down. I'm thinking about just breaking up so she can move on with her life.
Thanks for your encouragement though.
>>17205636
Suicide isn't your stallion. I know it must suck to think this, but your parents are already losing one child.
Dude tell her, honesty is the keystone of relationships. It'll probably help her be patient with you.
No worries anon, glad you don't want to kill yourself
After visiting my favorite stripper and having her give me an amazing handjob, she decided to cuddle next to me for the remainder of our time. She laid on her side next to me, put her leg through mine, her arm under my next and my arm around her waist. She pressed her head against mine and we laid there for about ten minutes. It was amazing. If that was the feeling I got just being like that with a stripper I can see why doing that with a woman you love is absolutely fucking intoxicating.
>>17205521
mm, cum
lol
I'm starting to hate myself.
In high school, I was one of the weird kids. Then I got to college,decided some change was in order and changed. Life is going to aight, I have more friends, actually can talk to people etcetc.
Except now 3 years into college I look at myself again and I hate myself. I can't find a single reason that makes me a better individual than anyone else. I can't even find anything that I'm better at than other people. I do mediocre on a lot of shit and below average everything else.
My grades are pretty shitty. I'm still a fucking virgin. Never even had a girl friend. I'm not athletic. I'm not a great person. I'm not social. I'm not funny. I'm an insecure fuck too on top of everything.
Friends back home know my grades aren't that great but thinks that I'm a social as fuck person now that parties and gets laid all the time. My friends here think I'm a social person at times, but I'm smart and get my shit done etc.
I don't even have any close friends I can tell all this shit too. Everyone kind of things I'm at peace with everything and got all my shit in order.
I'm fucking lonely, depressed and lost.
My older brother had Asbergers. I realize it affects me a lot more than I thought.
>Pick up habits and quips of his
>Speak like him, adopt the same ideas
>This was all when I was young to now, always looked up to him, even whenever he did some regrettable shit
>He's brilliant, and I often compared myself to him
Now, I'm realizing I've picked up some problems of his. I can make conversation with people, but I function at my best in groups- I'm charismatic and funny in those situations. Pair me up with someone one on one? Brace yourself for silence.
I'll try and talk, yeah, but it feels like the other person is either not interested or I'm talking far too much, despite wanting them to talk as well. I'm harboring enough self hatred for myself that it's keeping me and my girlfriend from having sex, as well as the scars and extra pounds I have on me. I constantly compare myself to others and become anxious if I'm not talking enough, end up talking too much, worry about not caring enough, end up losing hope and reverting back to a robot mentality.
I'm not a people pleaser, but I find myself stressing myself the fuck out over certain traits of mine, then being silent for the rest of the day. I'm not sure if my choice to be mute a few years back affected how I learned how to conversationalize, or if I'm making excuses for myself. That maybe I'm actually retarded, because my mind goes blank without me realizing, or having a song constantly on loop throughout the day.
And you know what the worst part is? I don't know if any of this is normal. Most of my friends have edgelord tendencies, so consulting them for thoughts on my current state might just give me the wrong idea.
I'm lost and I want to move out of the country, where I can live with my girlfriend without this constant anxiety and my family situation, which is a whole fucking mess in itself. Whatever happens, I just hope my brother will be proud of me.
I'm made numerous posts about this on this site, but they all get met with the same answer.
I feel socially crippled. New people, especially women terrify me to the point I can't talk most of the time. I feel like every judges me right away and thinks they're too good for me. I can't carry a conversation with new people to save my life either.
It always gets met with the same response "try and force the thoughts out your head", "stop caring what other people think". But no matter how hard I try it just doesn't happen. These things are natural responses, I feel like I'm not in control of my mind when it happens.
>>17205743
Just ask questions man
>>17205747
I can't even muster anything out. I feel so anxious and scared
I have this friend, we're really close and get along great together. I really enjoy spending time with her, and vice versa. We went out to the top of some hills and gazed at a beautiful view, got drunk, played games, watched a crappy movie, she fell asleep next to me in bed. I generally don't have many close friends like that, as I find it hard to get past initial small talk. The soul crushing part out of this is she's has a boyfriend of several years since she was early teens, and out of all the people i've liked I've never found anyone I've thought of more than her. I've surpressed my feelings as I only thought of it to be a minor crush that if I talked about could rip our friendship apart. But the thing is I think it will never go away and I'm worried it's going to blow up in my face one way or another. Is there any way I can relieve this from myself, is it worth bringing up or just pretending I don't feel this way? I hate myself for even considering telling her as it could make her feel really crappy and/or question our friendship entirely but its deeply agonizing and I'd rather tell her softly than spurt it out spontaneously that could really hurt her.
Please help me
>>17205760
Well, do they ask you questions? All you can do is try. Be patient with yourself. Are you used to being alone all the time? I'm like that but I'll still talk to people. But, I do like to engage with people in a certain way. I don't people getting in my shit because they'll run with shit and cause more confusion and I'm confused enough. Patience is key. You made it this far so that stands for something. I wish you the best.
>>17205303
Throw a fucking bone goddamn.
>>17205773
I've spent the majority of my life preferring time to myself honestly. It wasn't until college started I found a huge drive to be social and meet new people.
Who would've thought spending the first 18 years of my life doing nothing but playing games would cripple me socially
>>17205761
Well man, it is hard. What do you really want? Do you want her to live a life without you in the middle of it, would you be able to let her go? Or do you want to be with her?
Telling her how to feel is useless, it will lead to nowhere but to confusion.
>>17205801
I meant how you feel. Getting tired.
>>17205786
Why don't you just play video games with other people? Get drunk or high if that's your thing and get on them sticks.
>>17203866
I'm sick of these threads and OP should hang.
I'll never be good enough to get what I want but that's because I'm too lazy to try. I know how to reach my goals but it's easier to watch porn and complain. Also I've been depressed and suicidal since I was a young teenager and don't really think it's ever going away, for the past decade I've had oppressing thoughts of suicide once a week and non-functioning (lay in bed) days once a month... not sure if that's because of my pathetic lifestyle or if the pathetic lifestyle is because of my broken brain.
Either way it doesn't matter. I hate my friends but I'm not good enough for the people I like. I'm alone because I hate the girls that like me and I'm not good enough for the ones I like. "Lower your standards" like I can just magically decide to enjoy conversation with retards and instantly get a boner from a whale. Fuck off.
>then improve yourself
I can barely keep myself alive
Sometimes I think a year in the woods would clear my head or something insane like that
Or lead my family to believe I'd disappeared into the woods only to actually kill myself
Everything's unacceptable yet there's no getting better
>>17205840
Well it's not like I don't have friends. It's meeting new people, expanding my world, living life to the fullest, etc. That's giving me issue.
There aren't enough hours in the day.
How can I spend 10 hours on 4chan/reddit, 1 hour practicing bass, 1 hour learning a foreign language, a few hours playing video games all while going to school and working? I wish days were longer.
>>17205933
spend less time on 4chan/reddit
I'm I in denial about being severely depressed, or is me posing that question only making me severely depressed? I feel like I may be going insane.
>>17205976
Am
As in I am going to throw my phone out the window.
I will always love you, even though you don't deserve it.
I'm just a mess, there's a fuck tonne of things I hate about myself, I'm miserable and anxious all the time, I'm shit at meeting new people, I have zero drive to try to things or do anything constructive yet at the same time desire to more than anything, the list just goes on and on and on.
I don't know what to do, none of the advice I've been given as helped me, I'm tired of feeling absolutely horrendous all the time.
>>17205589
I am paying for it out of the money I care for my father. When I do get the data I use the majority of it. But since we live in the same place my older brother uses it too since well. Family is Family and gotta share.
Most of my Brothers paycheck pay off the rent + Bills like food and Elec and Garbage and extras like movies and games for the Ps3.
either you have a superiority complex, or you're a really caring person anon
The way you look at me...Oh...I'm falling for you...
>>17203893
Trust me, just disconnect completely, 0 contact whatsoever, and you'll see it fades over time. Give it a good 3-6 months and you'll look back on the whole situation much more objectively
At a cottage, everyone hammered, close friend of 10+ years drags me outside to a dark corner, don't recall why but I'm feeling her tits then I pull out my dick and put her hand on it, she pulls back and says oh my god you're so bad. People walk outside, she leaves. I ill-advisedly try sorta to be like let's go somewhere, she's 100% not about it, I eventually pass out on the floor. She tells her boyfriend, my close friend of 10+ years and he is hella pissed. Talks to me in private, says that was inappropriate, I apologize profusely and say I don't remember. Talk to the boyfriend and apologize profusely, he says he doesn't know if he wants to give me a second chance but that he wants to keep it quiet.
She ends up telling all our mutual friends that I sexually assaulted her, everyone is weird around me and I've been labelled an outcast. I told them and I've told them again I want to work past it to earn some of their trust back but it's not looking good. Haven't told anybody my side, I've only pled ignorance and that I was too drunk to remember.
>hold me
Liars like you don't deserve friends.
Just being a tad weird right now.
My wonderful, talented boyfriend wrote a new part of a song, and if you isolate it and listen to it, it's really quite sweet. He had told me a few months ago while writing that I've been an inspiration and thanked me.
But he chose to add the part after the beginning of a song about a frigid woman he had wrote about a year ago (didn't know him then.) I know I'm just being stupid, and he's not sending me some passive aggressive message, but I'm just kinda feeling unsure right now. And I don't want to ask him because that's fucking stupid.
I'm starting university next fall and I'm really anxious about it. I plan on taking electrical engineering courses, that is not what's stressing me out, as i think i can handle the courses. I just went to student orientation and i just realized how socially retarded i am. I'm scared I'm going to have a lonely time. If it makes anything better im not living on campus im taking the bus to school, and none of my established friends are going to school im not losing contact with any of them. Im just scared I wont meet anyone new. Im probably going to try clubs or something but i dont know.
>>17206180
hey friend i'm socially retarded too and college ends up being ok. you will find other socially retarded people and be friends with them. and it's cool because you don't have to put on a show.
>>17206180
If you have a customer service job, literally practice saying hi how are you and making small talk. It's like an RPG, grind your social skills.
Yep. I give up. She's not gonna respond at this point. It's been 4 days.
>>17206182
that's good to hear.
Life is going so good, what the fucckkk. I'm groovin' and cruisin'. It really feels like the bad days of my childhood are finally being left behind. Feels good man.
>>17204388
I have been thinking about this post since you wrote it in the last thread.
I don't know what happened before, and considering how much time has passed I don't think it matters, people change. It sounds like you both hurt, and it doesn't do any good to live in the past.
I am not sure that is your E, if E is still lurking, or if she is thinking about your offer. Assuming you two do know each other though...
I hope she is E. I hope she takes a chance and meets you for coffee. It is so blindingly obvious she loves you, as obvious as your love for her. If she won't take that chance she doesn't deserve you.
As a female anon that has been in a similar experience, good luck.
E, I would murder the world for one certain man and a chance, if he felt the way R did after a year and a half and I felt the same as you. Coffee wouldn't kill you, and I would bet anything that you will never feel the way you do about R about anyone else.
I'm in love with someone who will probably never love me the same way.
I've gone through this scenario 6 times in my life now. Six fucking times, and somehow, it keeps happening.
This one, though, really hurts. The first one hurt the most, but this one, really, really hurts.
I would give my life for something to work just once.
I'm tired of trying and running through this same, old, and tired scenario. Feel so lonely and worthless.
Just once.
Just fucking once.
Your request, is denied.
I'm still as in love as I've ever been and he's seemingly not anymore. I can't work out how to make this suck less. The pain of it is almost staggering. Only reason I'm even awake right now is that my cat is actively refusing to let me go on sleeping any longer. More sleep sounds good though. I think I'm trying to sleep until he wants to make time for me again...which is as foolish as it is pathetic. Fucking hell. Dunno how it is that I can sooner or later handle whatever else life throws my way yet still remain so totally unequipped to deal with matters of the heart going awry. It's like this shit just eclipses everything else. Why the fuck am I like this?
I'm going fucking mad here. My parents are getting a divorce in a week, which is a good thing, but now they're overreacting and fighting a ton and I can't get any peace. It's 1 AM and the light keeps flickering on and off and I can hear them fighting out there as I try to listen to some music with a splitting headache. I slept all day today and my neck aches, I just feel like shit and I don't know what to do.
>>17206153
>No advice
Whelp, I was hoping for something
>>17205274
I would, anon, but I can't. No Facebook, lost her number, she lives across the country.
Literally the only hope I have is that some day she'll check her old email.
>>17206168
what did they lie about, anon?
Phrasing it as a letter because why not.
L,
Everything around us always commented on how we look like a "happy pair"; when we broke up the first time, they also commented "what a shame... you two were a great couple".
But you wanted someone to hate. You wanted someone to argue. You wanted someone who conflates "I can" and "I will" just like you do. For this reason, the second breakup was inevitable.
And I'm keen on all your micro-aggressions... micro-threats... but to be honest, I don't fucking care about them.
You might think I'm doing nothing against that because I'm afraid; but hey, both of us play poker. You know that you need a bigger hand to call than to raise.
Also, even with all the anger (yup, I was angry too - remember, I'm The Moon, my emotions are hard to reach), I'm aware struggling against you would hurt yourself.
It means your friends will see you're using them as bullets against me.
It means you'll be seen as immature and not worth trust by everyone around you.
It means you'll realize all the pain you're harvesting now was sowed by you and only yourself. Not by me.
It's super neat when you somehow love a guy with a way lower sex drive, completely vanilla sex fantasies, and inability to keep an interesting conversation
I can't get over the girl I gave up a million dollar job for. I don't care if you don't belive me it's true. I think about killing myself every day. I constantly get closer. I can't do anything. Nothing makes me happy. I'm really going to do it. I loved her so much. Fuck life.
>>17206430
Why do you love him then? Sounds like you might just like him for shallow reasons, i.e. looks.
>>17206426
You said I'm manipulative; I can, but I won't. But after thinking about this a little, I guess both of us are manipulative in different ways. I do it with emotions, you do it with behaviour.
I'm quite sure you still love me; you can't hide your emotions for shit. And you probably don't know it, but I still love you.
But I think both of us agree we won't end up together.
Goodbye, L.
Yours for five minutes, E.
>>17206449
I love him because he's funny, loving, and I feel like I can be myself around him, which I don't feel I can be around anyone else. I'm really high strung, and he balances me out. Plus I've got weird ass fantasies and he didn't run for the hills when I told him about them. We've been together over 5 years now, but I'm expecting the sex issues and awkward silences will get worse when we quit being LDR
I don't get it.
Is the hate directed at me? I wouldn't know any better since you don't talk to me. But, I hope you're doing alright.
>>17205581
Thanks.
Got a DUI after trying to help bros oit. Finished associates but grades aren't good enough to apply for Uni. Mom all but verbally disowned me. Got a kitchen job to pay off lawyer fees to mom. Hook up two friends, one of whom I've had feelings for years. They'll do well though, so it's all Gucci. One of my closest friends left for boot camp, and the other went back to her state. My normal crew all but ex-communicated me after I helped one of them get a job (the kitchen job I ended up picking up) and then them quitting. That little bitch. Self hate growing with each day, trying to find some sort of light but just meandering through. Today our water heater had a busted copper pipe and half the basement got flooded.
It's been a rough month.
I'm paranoid my friends secretly hate me, as a result I'm a push over, as a result I'm paranoid they don't respect me. Its a vicious cycle that eventually devolves into me thinking they hate me. With that said, even with this dysfunctional mindset, I'm fully aware some of my friends are actually complete shit that I only maintain friendships with for fear of being lonely. I think poor self esteem has led to poor friend choice which doesn't help the original problem. And now I'm stuck here
I had a baby with someone I'm not in love with. We've been together for five years I tried leaving him for someone I thought I loved this past October. Guess he didn't love me back. I was living with a friend for two months before convincing baby daddy to take me back. Now things are right back to square one. I realized that love doesn't exist and everyone will disappoint you. The grass isn't green on either side.
>>17206585
Maybe you should've made better decisions.
>>17206440
Can someone help me
>>17206601
Too little too late.
>>17206613
No shit.
>>17206603
I'll help you by saying, no. Welcome to adulthood.
>>17206626
I'm not made for this life. Death will do me well.
>>17206624
Yup. My biggest fear now is being a narcissistic zombie mom. How can I show my daughter what love is supposed to look like if I'm not in love with her father? It's not enough just being room mates who fuck occasionally.
How do I get a new conversation going? I talked to this girl that I know a few days ago and the conversation just fizzed out. Anyone know something to start off a interesting convo with?
>>17206635
You probably won't be able to. All you can do is be there for her.
>>17206635
Tf? Isn't that a good example there? It's an example of what not to do. Show her that love is more than what you feel at the moment. Moving in fucks up relationships too. But most importantly, fuck love. People put too much emphasis on the "right one" or "being in love". You can love and be in love, at the end they're two different things, and in even more simplistic way, they're just words.
Show her not to rush into things, to valie herself and value the person she is wiling to spend time with (a fling to a marriage). Sometimes people settle or try to make the best of a not-so shitty situation that turns into a disaster. Show her that humans often make mistakes, but to respect her feelings and leaving relationships aren't the end of the world. Not sure if you're the type of person, but I have also heard people using babies to "save the marriage". And to me that sounds selfish af, why fuck with someone's future for your own benefit.
>>17206653
Leave it alone for things to happen. The worst thing you can do is drag on a conversation into the ground. Know When to stop for the day and Just go With the flow
>>17206585
bullshit
ive seen love even in this shitty thread
youre just retarded, and like a woman, make poor choices, you daft badger
I'm awake and I have been for too long. I love my girlfriend and now another girl has come into the picture. Let's call them gf and J. I'm introduced to J through mutual friends and my sister and have been hanging out with the whole crew of them a couple of times without gf. (We're on college break and we live in towns 45 minutes apart)
J is 10/10 and is really interested in me, and the two of us talk a lot when everyone is together. The most recent encounter we had talked a lot about all kinds of stuff and even touched hands and sipped each other's drinks and other weird unintentionally flirty stuff. When my sister and I leave, my sister reveals to me that J texted her saying that she "really wanted to fuck me" and that I'm attractive and cool and all that jazz. J assumes my sister wouldn't tell me that so she doesn't know that I know as far as I'm aware. I thought it was funny at the time but it's been keeping me up.
J and I had talked about my gf that night and so it was weird to hear that as if I was single. Gf knows I've been hanging out with the whole group and mentioned she's a little jealous but she knows that's just her reaction she can't control (she's been cheated on by one of her ex's)
It's eating me up a little and keeping me awake. I have no interest in cheating on gf with J or anyone else but I do want to get to know her more and be friends, and I do find her attractive. I just want this all to play out so neither gf, J or myself get hurt and I can stop overthinking this.
A threesome works too, haha.
I don't really have anyone who knows/can talk about the whole situation with besides my sister. I don't feel like I need advice on anything in particular, I feel like I just needed to organize my thoughts and write it out like this for a bunch of random people on a Mongolian wood carving forum to clear my head and maybe get some rest.
You know, the sympathy act will only get you so far. Me and your best pal are beginning to tire of it. Like fair enough if it's outta your control, but these are all things YOU can fix. You're just choosing not to, because hey, if you did, how else would we pity you?
Slowly, but surely, you're losing all your pals, and I'm sorry, but we all have a certain threshold before we just cut our losses.
There was a commercial earlier about "if people said what they meant on dates". The woman said "I have fake plans just in case this doesn't go well" and then the man said "my mom is my best friend" whereupon the woman said "my sister is texting me about those plans". I almost burst into tears. I haven't made a single friend in my 2 years at college and I know that isn't going to change short of some miracle. Despite that, I go to the movies every weekend to convince my mother that I have friends. Whenever I see people on campus hanging out, laughing, or even just enjoying each others company I become extremely jealous/resentful. And I really hate not being to tell anyone other than my therapist. I can't even make friends on the internet since I really don't know where to start. At least I've found that I'm actually a decent writer. Seeing those email notifications saying "someone favorited/left a positive review on your review" is like a drug. It's so amazing to have people who have no reason to tell you that your work is good ACTUALLY tell you that your stuff is good. I honestly can't even put it into words.
>>17206843
I'll be your pal, what's ur email address senpai, use a dummy if need be
My family is absolutely beyond fucked. This isn't some 'teenage angst' but a 'new-ish NEET in his late 20s coming back home only to be followed by a troublesome sibling' kinda fucked.
They're dragging down the family, actually threatening the marriage with their lies, but kept around out of pity. I don't know what to do. I try to find a job but have experienced rejection after rejection.
Can I do anything to make them move? NO. "Get a job" is met with "well you're unemployed" then they proceed to make the house a mess and walk all over my parents while dragging my name in the dirt.
I honestly want to take a knife and just end them. I really want this nightmare to end.
>>17206811
Initials?
Lets start off with that I fucked up 2 possible relationships that I could have had. The 1st girl ruined my rep at school and the 2nd girl ruined my friendship and made me enemies and got me fired.Oh yeah and I still feel the hate from it. Then I turned gay for while but the guy was a clingy retard.Im trying to date another girl but at this point I wonder if I should just kill myself already
>>17206843
It's not that easy to make college friends either. I think it's either/or situation. Don't be jealous or resentful. I have literally only two close friends (from highscool), but I keep one in the dark for my own benefit.
I haven't met anyone in college to befriend but it's whatever. I personally don't care, but I guess it is something of importance to you. Also bonus for having a therapist, although I just started with my current one.
>>17206791
Well that's it folks, everyone go home, someone saw love in a 4chan thread and now we can be sure that's not a chemical cocktail that lures people with less than stellar self-discipline into making poor decisions!
Now don't get me wrong, she is a "daft badger" but so are you. For every ditz that does this there is a man who has knocked up everyone and her sister. Or a man who's convinced himself that a girl is special or different from other girls, painting all other girls as 2D caricatures of what constitutes a human being simply because he's confused his assessment with sexual attraction.
All people around me think I'm a good guy but that's just my mask. I'm realy polite and can be very nice, but thats not the real me I fuck my friends over all the time. I just love to fuck up shit and no one knows that I did it
>>17207183
Fascinating
>tfw no one wants to talk to me on kik anymore
Why did everyone have to get so depressed at once?
>>17206035
Well if he's gonna use all the data and you're paying for it that's just unfair, I'd try and figure that out. Cause that's shitty,bro
My story
I work,play video games, chill with my friends, do hobbies, hot on women unsuccessfully but getting better, thinking about doing hvac, working out to be in shape for military, start fall classes for accounting and see if I like it.
Fuck most of you guys sound like whiny bitches though.
>>17204278
Dude I'm didn't read any of that
I know the answer to your problems though
Get your ass to work and quit bitching.
>>17207287
Wow, much insight, such advice, so helpful, wow.
>>17207192
Smoehow I'm scared that people will find out what I am. All those games where for nothing and keeping up the lies is getting harder and harder, but at the same time the kick I'm getting from this is sooooo good.
>>17204388
tfw my R doesn't drink coffee :,(
I'm 28, barely have any education, none of my experience is documented. I'm really introverted but opposite to most people, my family and circle of friends treat me better than I deserve. I'm no awful student but right now it'll probably take me another 4 years until I can really get a degree in something.
I have never had an actual job. All I did was to help my family and friends, sell stupid shit and that's it. In my country it's not exactly rare due to the current situation but it's still rightfully looked down upon. I'm still regarded as someone smart and "helpful" despite all of this which is like bizarro world. None of what I do is difficult to me to consider it worthy.
Now I have to explain my situation to a stranger at a review and I have to man up and face this person and say "I haven't spent one day working at an actual job".
I feel like I am falling back to my depression.
Nothing I do can make my negative thoughts and horrible self hatred go away.
I just want to break down and cry.
I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that I'll probably suffer from mild social anxiety my whole life. I used to have severe social anxiety, where I couldn't talk to anyone outside of family and a couple close friends. Now, the only issues I have is that I'm terrified of being the center of attention in a group or even saying "hello" to a girl I like. I blush frequently (a common symptom of social anxiety) which really sucks. And those are things I might always have to deal with.
I feel like I might just need to accept the fact that I'll never be the outgoing guy who is good with girls that I wanted to be. Everybody has their own challenge, and I guess this is mine. There are definitely people who have bigger issues.
Sometimes I just can't stop hating myself for being this way though, and I view myself as a coward at times. One thing I've been doing lately that seems to be helping is pretending like I'm an awkward character in a funny movie. That helps me laugh at my social blunders instead of beating myself up about them.
Nobody's perfect I guess.
I have an STD and it is absurdly uncomfortable.
>>17207883
Lately I've been feeling this type of way too, but I'm trying to stay strong. Lets just do that.
I'm trying to learn how to be a friend and it's not easy.
It's actually pretty fucking hard.
This shit seems to come easily to everyone else.
I'm like a goddamn robot trying to pretend to be human.
I want to learn though. I want to be a good friend.
I guess that's what counts, right?
>>17207954
Everyone has an std.
I know that we're going nowhere. You're probably still talking to me cause you want something and sooner or later you'll grow tired of it. I don't want your pity and I don't care if I don't live up to your expectations or you keep calling me a liar. We'll fight, call each other names and let our ego break us apart, rinse and repeat.
I'm tired and I should put an end to this. Happy (early) birthday.
Is the guy who's obsessed with his two underage cousins still around? Can he update me on his life?
>>17208079
Everyone (almost anyway) has HPV but that shit won't bother you unless it causes cervical cancer. Im just sick of breaking out constantly. Shit hurts
>>17208126
Initials? What do you want from this person? What do they want from you?
I'm just confused that's all. I really just need some confirmation. Shit just got really weird awfully fast and I'm just trying to adjust. I'm trying. I'm still ignorant. If you are who I think you are then we have nothing to worry about because I love you with all my heart. I just don't know what's going on. Fuck. I love you. Just talk to me.
I'm going to kill myself if you're cheating on me.
>>17208138
I remember that guy. We should try to summon him sometime; the butthurt he caused was amazing. Whom else should we try to summon? There are plenty of interesting characters in these threads.
>>17208138
>>17208198
You know he molested them. Probably got caught.
Really not that surprising.
My dick is untouched.
Why the fuck would you text me you are going out on a date with another girl.
Why.
You really need to kill yourself.
>>17208273
Nope.
If you're just fucking with me... I don't know. It hurts but whatever. I tried. I really did.
I'm 25 about to be 26.
My whole life I thought I was doing things right. Went to college, got a degree. Realized it wasn't enough, went back to college, got a Master's. The whole time I have not taken on any debt, maintained good relationships with my friends and family. And I do drink ocasionally but I never partied or let anything fun get in the way of my studies.
Now I've got my Master's but 5 months of job hunting hasn't turned anything up.
In addition, my parents are pressuring me to join the military, but I don't want to do it because I won't be out until I'm 30 and then my youth will be over.
In addition, I've only ever had sex with one woman, who cheated on me. And now I'm finding out that she just got married to the guy she cheated on me with.
I never thought that I wanted anything unreasonable out of life. Just a normal middle class existence and a pretty girlfriend who's not a bitch. But apparently that's too much to ask for.
>>17203866
I shouldn't be, but I'm irrationally afraid of running into my cheating ex whenever I'm out about town. She probably moved a long time ago and even if we did meet, it'd probably just be little more than awkward, but it still bugs the hell outta me.
>>17208324
I'm the same way, to the point where if I see anyone who looks like her out in public (a redhead with a fat butt) I get really anxious about it, but it turns out to not be her every single time.
Although if I did run into her I'm not sure what I'd say, I do kinda hate her. She cheated on me and now she's married to the guy she cheated on me with. Not only that but he's a an abusive douchebag as well.
I probably have anal cancer. I need to go tot he Doctor but I'm an autistic NEET with PTSD from being sent to the hospital psych ward involuntarily and never being able to go back home.
>>17206168
So how do you have friends then being the maniplative liar you are then?
>>17208240
He did? Any information on this? It would be hilarious if what you said was true. Always hated his fucking guts, acting like kissing and hugging his underage cousins constantly was normal.
>>17208337
I guess you can be somewhat happy she got some karma, at least.
Exact same here. Particularly bad since I'm bad at recognizing people, so anyone even remotely looking like her gets me on edge.
I keep going back and forth with this girl. We've gone as far as planning our wedding and talking about what we would name our kids. But we've broken up and gotten back together several times. We had gotten engaged, but she broke off the engagement. But she's keeping the ring and plans on marrying me when she can handle it. Right now we're broke college students and she's got all kinds of stressful shit that's happened to her. But I learned recently that she essentially cheated on her ex boyfriend with me and was hiding me from him for a long time. He found out about the engagement and now never wants to talk to her again and she's crying all the time and shit now. And it makes me kinda feel like I'm just a replacement for this guy because he never wanted to commit to her.
So girl is going to keep her ring on, but she also says she doesn't care if I see people in the meantime. So, fuck it, I reinstalled tinder and I've been swiping again. But I don't want to get too attached to someone in the meantime, and just do what I have to to have more sex than girl will likely provide me with. And now I realize I am a big douchebag.
>>17206168
People shouldn't fuck with my time, then.
I'm sorry but if you can't be forthright with me and put me through all this bullshit and games, why the fuck should I even bother to do anything but grit my teeth and pretend shit's okay because I don't know you well enough to know what I can or can't joke about. I don't know if I'll communicate and it'll come off as assertive or overbearingly aggressive.
I just want my fucking needs met and people have been failing at that shit. I don't want to sound rude in my frustrations but the fact of the matter is I have little patience for people's stupid bullshit. EXCUSE me for trying to be sensible here.
I have a story, its like 8 posts long. I want to tell you lot that you can be happy and you can be successful, but there is no sense wasting my time if nobody will read it.
Respond if you want to hear it.
I actually have some great things that have happened this week. I've grown a cm over night yesterday (179 now), my uni room mate is one of my old best friends who I haven't seen or spoken to in 4 years (we've reconnected and he's just as chill as I remember), and I'm finally getting a new laptop. Life is so great for me right now, and I'm glad things are the way they are.
>>17208434
Me plz!!!! I wanna hear it
>>17208434
You're not a beacon of light.
We all know it's the same "display positivity" and "wish it want it do it" mentality. We also know that some successes either have a strong support system, are outliers or have factors that make shit like saving money work in their favor.
Attitude helps, no one's downplaying the go-getter attitude that makes people gravitate towards someone focused and determined with their eyes on the prize but you people have to understand that some of us slip through the cracks for reasons beyond our current knowledge much less level of management.
Notice I didn't say "beyond our control." Nothing is completely beyond one's control but control comes from being able to cope and comprehend a situation and that's an acquired skill that comes a little bit from other people's experience and a little knowledge that you have to go looking for in some book or out of place website.
So if you wanna fulfill your savior complex boner, by all means go ahead.
Time to leave for another several days.
>>17203975
kek
>>17208472
Ok
>>17208486
I find hearing stories of success useful, I thought other people out there may do to.
Hey there, I see all these threads on /adv/ about people who are very unhappy with their lives, and it makes me sad that a lot of them don't see a way out. There is! Just keep faith, and to prove that I will tell my story where I have somewhat prevailed (although there is some stuff left to do), to show you that you can succeed and survive.
I was born to an abusive household. My dad is a complete mess of mental disorders, bipolar with suicidal tendencies, very likely anti social personality disorder (psychopathy), Asperger's syndrome likely too. The best way to describe it is a little bit like american psycho if you swapped the murdering for manipulation of a similar level. His family is an extremely screwed up mess of feudal politics and similar disorders, but they stick together. One of my earliest memories is him punching my mum in the chest, her crying and pretending to 4 year old me she stepped on one of the spikes in the floor (they were setting the carpets). While he was (and is) not often violent (he much prefers psychological methods and spying), when he does the lights in his eyes go off. Completely blank while he fights. He has hit me before quite badly (I have photos of bruises on my face from him), although I was in a way kinda lucky since he was more of a bully to me. The way he did it was a lot more clandestine than what you see in the movies about that. He also took anti depressants and drank quite heavily, making him even more deranged and turned his skin a funny shade of yellow too, although he doesn't take the drugs any more. I often heard him drinking at 3am.
D isn't responding to my shitty attempts at small talk. Again.
I don't blame her, "how's your day been" is a goddamn vapid question.
And she's been giving 2-word answers to all my other terrible efforts to start conversations and keep them going.
I'm fucking awful at this "friendship" thing. Will stop bothering her after this.
My first impression seems to have been correct: she was probably reaching out to me out of pity, not because she actually enjoys it.
The evidence I received last Monday was misleading, and I was a fool for believing it.
She said some shit like "just because you have flaws doesn't mean you should be alone". That's true. But that doesn't tell me why I should be around other people.
The only person that seems to enjoy speaking to me is B, a gay guy with a crush on me.
But he doesn't speak english very well, and we have nothing to talk about anyway.
So back to solitude. I've been alone for many years now, so it's just back to normal, really.
I'm just really goddamn tired of all these fucking nice girls talking to me out of pity. I don't need your fucking pity.
I'm not lonely, i'm broken. Talking to me won't help. If you have no use for me, leave me be.
>>17208486
As an addendum to what I said initially, I never said I was. I just see a lot of unhappy people here who are without hope. There is no need to launch into me for offering to share a story.
However, if that wasn't bad enough, my mum developed a terminal illness when I was about 10 (18 now). She isn't dead yet, and she can still function, but she is likely going to live 15-25 years less than she would of. My dad, being evil, took advantage, using his organs as a means of baiting her into staying with her. He also denied what happened a lot, cheated blatantly, and used me and my brother as a psychological weapon. His family backed him too, trying to split me and my brother from my mum, and countless other evil schemes. The net result was reducing my mum from an extremely successful business woman to a paranoid wreck. She (probably correctly) thinks that we are having our rooms bugged and internet traffic wiresharked (I don't give a **** if he reads it, if he does he knows I am onto him, not that it matters at this point). However, it is important to remember that she NEVER gave up, even when he beat her up and left massive ****ing bruises on her legs and groin at 2 am, crashed her car, and bullied me to the point of wanting to die, she kept me and my brother and herself going.
>>17208510
>>17208528
Response
>>17208528
A bit about me. I was always a very quiet and withdrawn kid (until the last two years), but very good with numbers. Hence, they hit me with the autism stamp. I was thrown in with a group that you could roughly split down the middle. One half was very clearly not there, the other was a little bit odd, but not nuts. There was 7, 3 in the former 4 the latter counting me. I found out they tried to get a lot of my friends in there too but their parents refused, but my mum was so screwed up she just went along with it. It was demeaning, being told to identify faces and perform basic social skills. I hated myself and I still doubt my social skills, even though I am proven not autistic and I can generally read people. Turns out the only issues the others in the more normal groups had was 1 was gay and one other was deaf, whereas the other girl was similar to me. Naturally, the other kids picked on me because I was different, although I found a decent number of friends after a few years when they realised I wasn't just that. I still hated myself though because of being treated like something defective. After a rude awakening to my dad's insanity and the instability of home (basically when I think my childhood ended) I started to self-harm around 11. Luckily, it was a short phase and things got better for a bit at secondary school.
>>17208546
I went to a single sex grammar school, and I made a lot of friends initally, thinning out like they usually do. I was still unhappy although I got decent grades and kinda did as most average Year 7 to Year 9 students did, although I didn't go out with friends much. Then, things started to ramp up when my nan died. My dad smiled at my mum as they switched off her machines apparently, and we were harrassed by phone calls from dad's family during the time. I couldn't mourn, so it turned to anger. I alienated most of my friends through my unexplained anger, I wittled down to very few friends. I constantly thought people were taking the piss and reacted angrily to them (turns out in retrospect that I think they were just being friendly and perhaps were even worried). I can't remember what happened at home between then (around end of year 9) and the beginning of sixth form save some of the more traumatic incidents (apparently according to my mum and brother I was mercilessly bullied).
i keep saying i'm going to kill myself but everyone knows i don't have the guts
>>17208563
Then I started to fight back against my dad. I was originally very passive and appeasing around him, but at some point I just snapped with him. When he picked on my mum I confronted him, and on about a dozen occassions it almost turned into a fist fight. Once I threatened to hit him with a chair if he didn't leave her alone. After I started to be like that, I started to develop confidence, made friends back. Then sixth form began, and I started to make some friends again. People thought I was weird because of the breakdown over the prior three years, but many people began to accept me again after I changed. I started to talk to some girls, and while I have yet to be successful relationship-wise, I am friends with one (baby steps, about 20 girls came into the mixed sixth form out of 300 of us). I learned what my dad was, and became more of a man. I eventually told my friends what happened to me, and they were very supportive in spite of me being a colossal arsehole most of the time. Still, the abuse continued, and arguably got a lot worse.
>>17208586
One night about 9 months ago, I was woken up at 2am to the sounds of screaming. Exactly what you expect was happening, and luckily me coming down the stairs stopped it. My mum was obviously crying her eyes out, and my dad blamed her. It was then I discovered that I could switch off my emotions and just do what was needed in stressful situations. Initially, it scared me because I thought I was becoming like him, but apparently it was just a coping mechanism. I became a lot more vigilant, and it finally seems like they are about to finally divorce. Either that or I can escape to Uni with any luck.
>>17207571
iknowright?
>>17204388
>tfw this could be for you but your R died in a car accident when you were just about to get back together
I think I'm going to go sob for a while.
>>17208607
Basically, where I am now with my life. I am anticipating the divorce, and I am content now whereas before I wasn't. I have friends, and I have confidence. Potentially even a girlfriend at some point. However, now you have read my likely very boring story, we get to the good bits. I can tell you how I have coped.
- Never, ever, lose hope. Even when things seem hopeless, you can still fight your way out of a lot of it, and even if you can't, no setback you will be aware of will kill you outright 100%
- Acknowledge when you're in the wrong. Try to look at a situation and think of what you could have done differently.
- Simultaneously, don't blame yourself for everything. It just makes you feel worse unnecessarily.
- People like honesty and openess (to an extent). Try to explain how you feel to people, most will understand
- Be on the watch for psychos. They are about 4% of the population, and they are quite difficult to spot. They are generally very charming and mysterious, and do things that would otherwise seem creepy. Allow people 1 lie, 1 broken promise and 1 neglected responsibility before dropping them.
>>17208634
Can you give more info on psychopaths?
I usually attract them and now they have left me broken. I'm horrible at spotting them and I only find out once my friends figure it out and warn me to stay away. Then I'm already been badly damaged.
How can you spot them? What if you are forced to be around them due to school or jobs? What's the best way to handle them
>>17208660
They tend to be very charming and confident initially, then they will push your boundaries. They are all different to an extent, some are very violent, some are more manipulative.
My dad was one of the more manipulative kinds. Basically, watch for them telling lies and breaking promises like I say in the last point. Even if they aren't psychos because of that, they will still be very bad people to be with.
Still, it takes a good amount of time for a psycho to really show them their true selves. Just be vigilant for the lies, broken promises and neglected responsibility.
they are very very difficult to spot though, so that won't catch 100%.
>>17208630
Aw that's so sad. I'm so sorry anon <<hugs>>
I just want to be able to go to a party, bar, whatever and have a good time, instead of being a shy, quiet, anxious wreck at them.
As hard as my friends try to help me, it doesn't help. I feel absolutely helpless about this desu. Once something makes me anxious I can't clear my head of it. It's like a have no control of my mind.
I feel like I'm doomed to feel like this for ever, I keep hearing the same solutions over and over and over again, but no matter how hard I try to apply it nothing changes.
I s2g, sadness will kill me
>>17208682
Good advice, I'd like to add that they have a history of bad relationships or infidelity don't ignore it especially if they absolve themselves of any wrongdoing by passing the blame to other people.
>Have friend that I do genuinely care for, but really isn't all the great to be around.
>Been really really needy, towards me specifically lately.
>Been having a really bad time of things lately and I'm genuinely afraid if I tell her I need a little bit of space she'll lose it and something bad might happen.
>>17208858
If she considers you a friend back she will understand and let up a bit. If she doesn't then she isn't worth your time.
I'm too exhausted to type up all the fucked up, awful events that make up my life. For now, this is my story. It'd be nice if someone took the time to read it. That's all.
>>17208757
>>17208803
Some people just aren't meant to be like that.
You're clearly the quiet, a few close friends type. Being a partying, working a room, that just isn't who you are.
You just have to accept that
I try to get her off my mind, and when she's is just about out, she reappears, but stronger than the last time.
Fuck. Why can't I just get her our of my mind for now.
I love being alone
I don't want to be judged for it as I get older
I want to work from home hopefully with my own business and do everything on my own terms
What should I do to have a guy fall in love with me entirely and truly love me forever? I was with someone who chose his friends over me yet claimed I was his first priority. He wanted the best for me but got miserable when he provided me with it. He was a great man and I love him so much. It's just unfair that he didn't love me back as much.
I want devotion. He should definitely have his own life and I'd love to become a part of it. I want to share my life with him and hear all about his. I want to do romantic things for him and have him try to top me. I want a relationship where I get the classic flowers or chocolates with no occasion. I want to go to festivals and on vacation with him. I want him to spoil me in bed because I'll give back more.
I need to find things to do by myself that don't involve staring at a screen. Help?
>>17209045
You shouldn't have made him choose between you or his friends. Simple as. That shows that you didn't truly love him, because if you did, you wouldn't have got into that situation in the first place.
>>17209061
Go to the gym or something
I love being alone, but at times (e.g. now) I fucking hate it.
I have no true desire to make friends, but I feel so empty without having any.
>>17208682
Thanks. I'm an enfj so we have a lot of empathy and tend to get lost in other people. Often we help others more than ourselves. So psychopaths naturally cling to us. I'll try to be more careful and be on the look out because I've been abused by them twice before.
i can't connect with anyone
i can't adapt to this society
i can't do anything
>>17203893
I did what you did OP but I went back. My relationship lasted 3 months too. It feels shitty man. She was my first everything. I fucking hate this so much. I want her back in my life.
>>17209064
Do you even reading comprehension? I never made him choose between me or his friends. He actually did make me do that once. It's not even the reason we fucking broke up. I just wish he didn't literally leave me alone sometimes to be with his friends. Fucking hell.
>>17209080
I am ENTJ, so I can kinda relate. Most of them are apparently ISTP. I kinda find myself doing it a bit too, although having been through that 18 years I am hyper vigilant of those sorts of people.
>>17209081
What if I told you even people with a social life feel that way?
>>17209090
Well, you say he chose his friends over you, so surely there must have been a situation that meant that needed to happen.
People need alone time, relationships are healthy if they have alone time.
How did he make you do it?
>>17209084
I hate everything about this situation. I don't even know if anything is possible but I'm not fucking giving up and I don't want to. I wonder what effect this will have on me. I hope it doesn't exhaust me too much. I love the vigor and life I have in my heart. I don't want to exhausr it on something not worth it or that won't benefit me.
I hurt myself again.
I took a hobby knife, and started drawing long lines across my arm. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to hurt. I don't know why, but the pain calms my anxiety, a bit at least.
girlfriend had doubts about her feelings for me, so I broke up with her. And now I regret my decision... god damn it all.
>>17209116
Why the fuck would you do something so rash.
>>17209102
We'd go out all "together" but he'd never leave his friends to have some fun with me alone. (Festival, bar nights, parties) I suppose his friends were more fun than me. From the start, he was more worried about not dumping his friends because he has a girlfriend than to make our relationship worthwhile. I was only entitled to specific "girlfriend activities" like dinners, the zoo, sleeping together. He agreed to it so it was a red flag from the start and I shouldn't have stayed with him for so long even though we had some great times.
He asked me to dump my friends for him with new years because he didn't feel like spending it with his friends. I did because I assumed he'd do the same for me. Turns out he would never do that because well, ya know, bros before hoes.
My boyfriend's results for this semester were awful. In addition it seems some of the grades just didn't register, and he only has one grade and has to re-take everything.
I feel bad for him. Ever since we got together I've been trying to motivate him (he doesn't even go to class even though having three absences in tutorials means you have to retake the subject, he just got lucky previous years because teachers didn't apply it) and he's been acting like it's all going to be okay; but after getting those results I think he realized his mistake. He was really sad after we got them.
He tells me being in class is just really hard for him, and he constantly got asked to leave classes while in high school etc. I don't know if he'll be able to get serious when he redoes his year.
For me it's just ridiculous. I've always seen studies as a full-time thing, that I take very seriously, never repeating a year or missing a class unless I can afford to. It's probably a bit related to his family being much poorer than mine and valuing getting to work early rather than studying, I guess. But I know I would never have fallen for him if I had known from class, I despise people who do the least possible amount of work and then don't even get passing grades.
I want to help him. But I'm also afraid this is the kind of differences that will throw us apart. Next year he'll need support to get through with everything, but I'll be studying abroad, and that worries me too.
I just wish we could both be over with college, have stable jobs in a nice town, a cosy apartment, and take care of our children. Even though it might not be realistic since he's only my first boyfriend, I really hope we hold on this long.
>>17209116
You did well. You deserve someone who feels lucky to have you.
There's constant stress and I can't relax so it sometimes makes me ill although sometimes I just get nightmares.
>>17209139
Yeah, I thought so too at the moment I broke it off. But instead of letting her explain herself, I broke it off.
>>17209120
My ego most likely. two months have gone now and I've come to realize that I loved our relationship, which is why I regret it.
>>17209150
But it's not like she fought to keep you, right?
>>17209159
No, she just accepted it.
>>17209179
Yeah you did well.
I was molested as a little girl at 4 years old, and the only thing that turns me on is stories about young girls getting raped because I can easily insert myself into those situations
>>17204388
If I couldn't get over what was done to me in my adolescence, what makes you think I could ever get over the abuse that I suffered through in the relationship?
>>17209045
Guys like that don't exist outside of the bullshit storybooks that get pushed on us as kids.
>>17206314
Holy shit, are you me?
The number of times is even the same...
Do you still remember their names?
I do.
The one thing I want to forget; that's the only thing I can't.
>>17209179
>>17209181
He should have let her explain. It Wouldve given him insight as to whether it was savable or worth the trouble.
So we broke up two days ago and he always said we'd remain friends but he doesn't even ask how I'm doing. It's fucking painful. I already felt lonely during the relationship so this just tops that. It's clear he just wants to be alone.
>>17203905
Just tell her straight up, if she's understanding about it, she won't think any different of you. If she leaves you or such, was she really worth keeping around at that point?
My ex dumped me over facebook, deleted our relationship status, nothing over text, not in person, not even a phone call. Just over facebook, didn't say a word about it for some time. Then she text me saying how she was in a bad spot. She apologized and we argued our sides out, she wanted this, I wanted that, I tried to do this. I don't know if she was looking for forgiveness but I did not give it to her. Even through all the bullshit, I miss her but I know not to get back with her.
>>17209319
That was really immature... You deserve better than that.
I have a lot on my plate for the next few weeks.
For one, I just found out my dog that's been with us for 13 years that she has a few months to live. I can handle death pretty well, but being around my mom who is a mess makes me really anxious.
Also, I have to babysit my very misbehaving 8 year old sister while living in a RV park. I have social anxiety disorder, as well as aspergers, and not being able to do what I normally like to do everyday as well as worrying about her being abducted or causing trouble with the neighbors makes everyday filled with stress and anxiety.
Luckily were moving back home after a couple weeks, and everything will be better. I just have to get through these couple weeks.
I have no idea what I want to do in life.
I'm 26 years old, no friends, never had a job, and i've wasted ten years of my life doing nothing.
I feel like such a piece of shit, I don't think I will ever get over this feeling. I have 0 direction and it feels like I've lost all opportunity to make something of my self, feels like it's too late to do anything. I am paralyzed, scared of experiences, scared of life, scared of judgement. I'm stupid and don't take care of my self. My diet is awful and my hair is starting to thin, I have bad teeth and I can't even find the motivation to watch a film or read a book. I'm stuck in eternal numbness, slowly eroding in to nothing.
This isn't even half of what I have to say but it will do for now.
>>17206153
Tell people the truth.
>>17205718
>know all these feels
>be off at college in another country
>have a younger brother who i worry is turning out like me
Goddammit, this hit me harder than it should have.
I feel like I ruin every social situation I touch, I'm drifting apart from everyone I was once close with and my SO whom I love is more than likely cheating on me. Not going into detail about the whole cheating thing, but basically my life sucks more than it ever has right now and the urge to commit suicide is getting stronger.
I hope I'm not being used again.
>>17209045
>I want to do romantic things for him and have him try to top me. I want a relationship where I get the classic flowers or chocolates with no occasion.
Speaking from personal experience;
Girls find this shit creepy and desperate.
Maybe he could do it RARELY, if ever, if you were already in a long term committed relationship with the guy.
But too much or too soon, and it makes him a "nice guy".
You need to understand. Guys CAN'T do that shit anymore.
Not unless they are under some really specific circumstances, or have managed to find a girl who's really sweet and understanding.
It's just not worth the risk.
Quite frankly, I'd rather every girl saw me as a self-centred, selfish, greedy, jew-tight, asshole than a "creep" or a "nice guy".
...What did Gandhi say about "being the change you want to see"?
Sometimes we end up living in a hell we created. Think over it.
>>17209489
No, this is fucking stupid.
You do it when you are deep in a relationship, not just to some girl you just met. You do this to any girl you have only been with for a bit then you're a fucking creep
>>17209498
Obviously, you don't do it to someone you just met.
But you're saying it would be okay for someone in a long-term relationship to bring back flowers everyday?
Fuck no. That shit would be creepy too.
So how often?
I mean, you can't do it just once, or she'll call it a "one-off" and still treat you like you're selfish.
So you'll have to keep doing it, without doing it too much.
Once a week?
That regularly, she might suspect cheating.
A month?
maybe.
Jesus christ though. I hear these stories about how it used to be polite and sweet to bring flowers to a girl on a date. Damn I'd like to have been a guy like that.
I'd like to be able to do something to say "Hey, this aint just fuckin', I like you".
But that shits creepy as fuck these days.
So how is that girl I replied to gonna know which guy is which? She gonna get deep in a fuckttonne of relationships just to see if a guy will be like the guy she wants?
When no guy really wants to take the risk and be THAT guy anymore?
The fact is, they've made it a risk for us all, and now they have to play guess who when looking for a guy like that.
>>17209512
>I mean, you can't do it just once, or she'll call it a "one-off" and still treat you like you're selfish.
No. It doesn't work like that. You do it on occasions that "feel right". There is no formula for it. It's spontaneous. If I were to force an example, it would be, let's say, when it's been a few days of contact, but it has been boring and not much affection shown. When you're both really busy yet you still see each other, but there's not much passion there. Like you're just living your normal lives without much attention gives to the partner. Then one day you decide hey, I want to bring her something nice. Let her know I still love her.
How often would this amount to? Every few months. Few times a year. It doesn't always need to be flowers and chocolate. Just something to show care, thought and love.
D
I'm invisible. Was your love for me another of many "acts" even when having real interactions and conversations, only to dissolve in daylight? tell me more. I love youR
I fucking hate this. I can't help it sometimes either. I sit there, wasting time. WASTING in every single way, just being stuck on waiting for her. Waiting for a fucking reply. Just waiting for a response. It's like my whole life it stuck in that moment. I do nothing. I can't do anything productive, I can't even fucking THINK. I sit there like a damn zombie, switching between two tabs. I can feel myself getting dumber and I can feel my life wasting away. Just waiting for her to fucking talk, Holy CHRIST, this is agony.
>Meet girl on Tinder
>Hit it off right away
>For the first week we text all the time, really flirty, lovey doveryish, occasional sexting session
>Kinda weird how we talk to each other like a 14 year old couple, but whatever
>Literally called me perfect numerous times
>Keep's saying we can meet "Soon" whenever it gets brought up
>Few days ago, text her in the morning we message for like an hour then I don't hear from her for the rest of the day
>Ok she might be busy, whatever.
>Same thing happens the next day.
>Figure it's work or something
>Decide to wait until I'm done work today to message her.
>We message for another hour then it just stops
She still respond well to my flirting and all that, so I'm probably overthinking things, but if she was still interested wouldn't she be talking to me more instead of what feels like ignoring me?
How do I stop acting so autistic about this shit?
>>17209522
I get it.
I see what you are saying and I agree.
However, there is a problem.
You're the only one showing affection is this situation.
How do you know it's even wanted?
Lets face it, you've both hypothetically been busy, and you said it yourself "There's not much passion there".
If she's moved on, hasn't managed to tell you yet?
Then you're giving unwanted affection... something I'm almost entirely sure, is creepy.
Which is kind of my point.
Men are expected to read minds to know when it's appropriate.
If we can't, we're labelled creepy.
And so, it becomes much easier, not to try.
I mean, when writing your post, maybe you were picturing some dignified, ambitious young man bringing some flowers to his soon-to-be fiancee driving up in his new car where their life is perfect, and they have everything figured out.
But reading your post through the eyes of a cynic, I ended up just picturing some middle aged tired man, sick of his stressful job, desperately clinging to a failed marriage. In his denial hoping flowers would be the one thing that stops her from banging her boss at the office.
>>17209541
>>You're the only one showing affection is this situation.
>How do you know it's even wanted?
No, not necessarily. You do it based off of how she reciprocates. If she's wooed and appreciates it, and it lifts her mood and causes other positive events to arise, you keep doing it from time to time. If not, you stop.
>Lets face it, you've both hypothetically been busy, and you said it yourself >"There's not much passion there".
>If she's moved on, hasn't managed to tell you yet?
No, that doesn't make much sense. You can't have passion 24/7. Sometimes peoples lives just get busy. After being with someone for a while, you're not going to show them crazy amounts of attention all the time. Sometimes you guys just live together. For a few days, you two aren't doing much. Then you do that just to show you still care.
Also I didn't imagine either situation. I imagined a normal couple
