Females,

If a guy is new to a relationship, but is entirely clueless, what are some ways he can improve? For instance, I've never dated and the thought of it kind of terrifies me because I feel like I wouldn't be a good enough boyfriend, like I wouldn't do the right things and stuff. I'm super introverted so I feel like a lot of socializing and whatnot would go really over my head.

>>17123832
I'd be a little disappointed, but I'd happily accept it. My penis loves blowjobs.

>hook up with guy last night while drunk
>i put the condom on him the wrong side at first, it was on the tip of his dick
>then i took it off, flipped it over. and put it on him the right way
>we fuck etc

i think there is a possibility of precum from his dick getting onto the condom and getting me pregnant so i'm gettng plan b, or am i being paranoid?

>>17123925
I am a guy, but I'd rather be paranoid than pregnant.

>>17123925
Sounds like he raped you. But seriously, possible technically, probable no. If you are really worried ask yourself what you would do if you did get pregnant and act accordingly.

>>17123934
you are right i'm not taking any chances

>>17123936
what the fuck? he didnt rape me. stop lookin for things to get offended about

Girls, I fucked up. I said some shit to my gf during a drunken phone call and broke off the relationship. I fucked up and I feel like shit I don't think we should get back together, but I want to apologize is this a good ideas/ what is the best way to go about it from a woman's viewpoint?

>>17123872
I think a good place to start is base your relationship upon the pillars of openness, honesty, trust, respect (for her and yourself), and communication.

>>17123940
>what the fuck? he didnt rape me.
Sounds like somebody came down with a case of stockholm syndrome

>>17123958
Ok. i guess it's stockholm syndrome if I was the one who invited him to my place first, earlier in the evening before we started drinking, and told him to fuck me hard. i guess he did rape me. You're right anon, what would we do without people like you in the world

>>17123971
This is the most sensitive time, but you need to be strong, I believe in you

>>17123946
>'Ex Gf', i'm sorry about how it went down last night, I was really fucked up and I took it out on you. I said some horrible things to you and i'm sorry.. You deserve better and i think it's best we part ways because i need to focus on myself and my drinking problem."

>>17123925
They were supposed to teach you in like 6th grade sex ed to throw a condom out if you do that.
There is a very small chance of pregnancy, so if it's only been a day get plan b. You probably don't need it, but better safe than sorry.

>>17123977
i'm going to call him up and tell him that since i didn't give him my consent earlier, he needs to come over so I can give him my consent again

>>17123992
Have it notarized and on my desk in triplicate by monday

>>17123936
>>17123940
>>17123958
>>17123971
>>17123977
>>17123992
>>17124010
lel

>>17123954

Alright, that sounds like it could work. I'm just wondering though, do girls expect certain things, or does it vary? By things, I guess I mean doing unexpected things like a nice chore, a date, or something.

Any thoughts on how to differentiate between someone being nice and someone being into you? I've got a situation with a co-worker both of us are in relationships and she knows mine is about to end. She started getting really close to me after I told her. All signs in my mind point to her being into me. She talks about us hanging out etc. I'm going to make a move on her, but any thoughts before hand would be welcome.

>>17124051
>Any thoughts on how to differentiate between someone being nice and someone being into you?

From the FAQ in the OP(I actually even originally wrote this one):

>>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

Thanks. Yeah I'm gonna ask her. All signs point to her being into me, just seems to good to be true honestly

>>17123872
Best way is through experience. Not everyone is the same. It's learning too many rules that sometimes screws people up, because "dating rules" are the type of rules that have exceptions.

What won't help you, is spending too much time here and worrying over hypothetical issues. /adv/ occasionally posts a feel-good thread about relationships, but typically you're just going to read about unhealthy/nonfunctional ones.

ok so I just broke up with my first serious boyfriend of 7/8 months
we broke up for a number of reasons, the most pressing being he was a terrible boyfriend (he admits to this) and wasn't really emotionally ready to be in a relationship at all.
he is 17 and i'm 18
we both agreed it wasn't working but we still like each other and want to be friends and both still want to hang out and have continued talking since we broke up friday

when he says hang out, do you think that means hook up? because we have really good physical chemistry and I would still casually sleep with him. I can't ask him that right guys? If he still wants to hook up? Or can I? I don't know i'm stressed.

Okay so here's my situation

I was at a party last night, good party, met some people, etc. Today one of the girls I met last night adds me on FB, I accept and she starts messaging me, asking more about me, etc.

I don't have much interest in her or anything, but I'm not sure if this is just her meeting someone new or trying to get into something date-ey

In case it wasn't clear, I'm pretty stupid when it comes to women and I don't get hit on often, so I apologize but this is new and weird to me.

>>17124095

This might sound condescending but what you have to keep in mind, you're both young, and pretty inexperienced.

Even when you're older, experienced, more in control of your emotions, and DON'T have a million teenage hormones flooding through your system, staying friends immediately after a break up is hard as hell. Staying friends while still sleeping together is a level above that probably not even 1 out of 10,000 people are capable of--even when they have all the maturity, experience, and comfort in the world.

The ONLY, ONLY way it works out to not become a shit show is if you BOTH have a very specific and articulated view of the role of sex in your life, of how relationships work in your life, and how your dynamic with this particular person is.

Otherwise you're just going to completely fuck over your own feelings and get overwhelmed by trying to figure out like 12 different things that are going on at once.

I'd suggest you give both of yourselves space to realize, hey we broke up, and move on, instead of risking trapping yourself in some quagmire of confused feelings that you're ill equipped to deal with.

>>17124105
Take it at face value. Assume it's just general friend interest for now, reassess if anything obvious happens. It's not like you lose anything by being nice and potentially gaining a friend.

>>17124095
Ofc you can. 2 Of my friends were in a relationship for a couple of months, then just kinda broke it off and have been hooking up pretty much every month if they are both single. Only the outsider perspective here but they seem to get along

>>17124131
ok so neither of us have any sort of articulated view of the role of sex in our lives or relationships or why we like each other
but I will say that our relationship has been struggling for a while now because we lead very separate lives and all we've been doing is hanging out once every week or 2 weeks and fucking so I guess that's why I think it's possible

abs or adonis belt?

Why is it so difficult to find a girl nicer (yes, personality wise) than my favorite prostitute?

What does a pussy taste like?

can any girls help me with the logic my ex?

She insists I am a massive piece of shit for going on a date with a girl after our relationship ended (like 3-4 months ago). That I am a terrible person for getting over her and being with someone new in such a short period of time and how she could never do something like that.

She is saying all of this while literally laying in the bed of the guy she cheated on me with. The guy she moved in with after a week.

I just.. what? I don't really give a shit about her and but I just want to know what type of logic or thinking is going on in her head. What kind of sense is that?

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Both genders: this might seem like a stupid question but I'll ask it anyway; does it matter if your bf/gf doesn't swear? Like does that make me seem like a little kid because I never use words like fuck or shit or asshole? I just never felt the need to and now it's just uncomfortable using words like that. Like it sounds way to forced because swearing is not a part of my personality. I'm a guy btw

>>17124285
Personally it would matter to me since my sense of humor involves a lot of swearing and I'd like to be compatible with my partner in that area.

>>17124265
Why do you care what she thinks?

>>17124307
>I don't really give a shit about her
I'm just curios. just want type of reasoning could someone like that possibly be using? Where is the logic at all? How can someone ignore reality so much?

If you can understand the past you can make better decisions in the future.

>>17124040
It varies, and that's where the communication thing comes in. Both of you talk about expectations and how you like to receive love and affection.

>>17124265
Why the fuck are you still in contact with her?

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>>17124285
i wouldn't notice if they didn't swear. I filter out swearing due to 10 years of 4chan anyway.
But if they're uncomfortable with me swearing, that's a dealbreaker.
No puritan altar boys or choir girls for me, not gonna deal with that shit.

>>17124265
Kek, do you really expect us to guess what;s going through your ex-girlfriend's head right now?
Other than "penis"?

>>17124335
she emailed me when she found out I was going on a date. I didn't reply.

Do you have anything to add or are you just being a fucking retard? Asked a question and you're just sperging out.

>>17124285
>I just never felt the need to and now it's just uncomfortable using words like that. Like it sounds way to forced because swearing is not a part of my personality

Kek, that's me. I also never got used to using someone's name in a sentence if I'm talking directly to them. It feels forced, unless I'm trying to get their attention (talking in a group) or have another reason to add their name. Pretty sure 4chan would say I'm autistic with words.

It doesn't bother you when other people curse, does it? People might be wary that you have an issue with THEM cursing until you let them know otherwise.

Is the guy the one who usually texts first?

>>17124265
There isn't. It's an emotional based reaction. Sort of like when people yell at their cell phones for not working right. Logically they are not thinking "the cell phone is going to understand I think it's a stupid piece of crap and work better." They are just expressing their frustration.

So her logic is "I am upset, so I am going to express it." There isn't much deeper to it. As for why specifically she's upset? That would take mindreading and /adv/izors have not achieved that power yet as much as they are asked to use it.

>>17124357
No I don't care at all if other people do. I wish I did but it just feels too weird for me. Literally everyone I know does except me. Even the cutest most kindhearted girl I've ever met says fuck like all the time so I'm starting to think it makes me look like a little bitch lol

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>>17124265
basically this

>>17123789
How come women can't do Engineering degrees?

Seriously every class I've been in since I started freshmen year of college. It's been a total sausage fest.

Oh, sure there were a couple, most of which were confirmed lesbians.

I mean I take one humanities class to fulfill a general ed, titties left and right!


So why women? Why you no learn engineering?

Is it because you lack the capability? Are mean just smarter than women?

>>17124418
women are smart enough to not take jobs that will be outsourced within a decade

>>17124429
>engineering, a degree in which you literally create the outsourcing
>A degree in which you learn how to pretty much do anything

Are you sure you know what engineering is?

Why is it that my girlfriend can not respond to my texts all day because she doesn't feel like talking but if I don't respond to her in an hour without good reason I'm ignoring her?

>>17124443
women are insane and never make sense.

>>17124439
I know it's a job that pajeet and chin do just as well for a fraction of the price.

How many girls have a dark sense of humor? I feel mine is alienating me.

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Question for anyone really

Life is kicking me in the ass pretty hard, I'm not getting any sleep, there's drama like crazy going on with everyone I know including myself, everything is just going to hell...

Normally booze is enough to get me through things, but lately it hasn't been enough...I'm in a place where weed is legal and easy to get, is it something I should look into doing? Never tried it before.

Will it help with my stress?

Will it help for the better?

Is it a bad habit to get into?

>>17124447
pajeet and chin actually are employed by shit tear companies that don't have a solid grounding of the basics.

these companies get sued and typically don't last very long..

one story is that pajeet came to the US as a programer and get this never actually used a computer before in his life!

ohh i'm real scared of shit man pajeet.

what are you majoring in? writing?? ha ha ha.

>>17124459
>Normally booze is enough to get me through things

"Nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away!"

>>17124459
About the same health wise as smoking, if you smoke it (no matter what people tell you, you're still inhaling smoke). That said once you get used to it, yeah it'll help you relax. It kind of induces euphoria sometimes. Try it once and see.

>>17124465
>>17124459
But seriously though, never turn to drugs to solve your problems unless it's a medical condition.

How do I make friends with girls without being creepy or making them think I'm hitting on them?

Why do most women have such high sex drives?

When I was young and virgin I was worried that women would never actually want sex and would always fake orgasms and shit like I heard about on the funny ha-ha TV shows but now that I'm an adult and have been having sex for years, most women tire me out with their inexhaustible sex drives.

Girls, any advice about stuff that helps you when you're on your period?

>>17124602
chocolate, midol, using my fingers to draw circles on my stomach, warmth on my stomach, not using pads

>Either gender
This is a weird question. How do I get over a fear of being murdered? When I was a young kid, my father would make me watch documentaries, movies, shows, etc. about serial killers and murders and it really freaked me out at a very young age. Now at 25 it's still a pretty big fear that keeps me up at night. It sounds silly but I'll be up thinking "what if ____ secretly hates me and wants to bring me into the woods and stab me to death?" or "what if ____ is secretly a lunatic and wants to keep me hostage in their house and torture me?". I don't have many friends and I avoid going out unless it's a necessity because of this.

>>17124623
>dealing with Foniasophobia/anthrophobia,

The same way you deal with any other phobia, go get professional help to deal with, sort through, and process your underlying fears/insecurities/traumas. It's a long process, but it won't get better (in fact it'll do the opposite) if you don't start to do something about it.

>>17124602
Comfortable clothing

>>17124623
gun+cc license
what could go wrong

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Ladies should I be worried when my girlfriend keeps talking about having a baby?
Last time we had sex the week before she kept talking about it I came and was still hard and she kept hinting that I should go back inside her.
When we first met she always had me wear a condom now she just pulls me inside her no question asked as of late.
I'm not stupid I pull out but I'm confused on the constant hinting and not being direct

>>17124682
The way she said it was
"cross your fingers I wouldn't mind having a little you but not just yet"
So I left and washed up.

>>17124602
Ask the girl in question specifically.
Some would answer "Lay next to me and cuddle <33" while others might say "Stay the FUCK away from me and don't touch me." There are also girls who cycle between both of those moods. I advise you against trying to guess.

Hey. I've been chatting online with this girl that I'm starting to get a crush on, and we've been flirting back and forth for a while now, but yesterday I wrote her a message and asked how she was doing and sent it.
Sometimes, it'll be a little over a day before she responds, but the difference is that yesterday, we were already chatting and, unlike those previous times, it says that she saw the message at the time I sent it. It's been just over 24 hours now, and she still hasn't responded. Should I send a second message, or suck it up and wait. If she's starting to second guess me, I don't want to throw her off completely by looking like a creeper and sending another message.
I should mention that the flirting developed into a clear interest, as we've both agreed that if one of us ever visits a place near the other that we should go on a date, and we both send a lot of emoticons with kissy faces and hearts to each other.

>>17124682
Have you told her you don't want a baby? Seems like she's hinting at opening that conversation. If you've said nothing back, you should worry because she could have taken it as you being anxious but not fully against it.

>>17123958
I kekd so fucking hard

Girls, what does it mean when a girl doesn't talk much to you and doesn't seem very romantically/friendly with you but is down to make out and shit. Girl I went to prom with, not into me but is. Grinded intensely for an hour and maked out/groped each other for another two hours in my car, but she's doesn't seem interested. I didn't pressure her throughout the night, so if she doesnt Like me, why do all that other shit.

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>>17124715
pic related

Guys: lately, often times when i sleep with my bf, he takes a long time to cum and finally, we just resort to "masturbate together". What's that about?

Is it better to get in a relationship with a woman that you have had multiple occasions with proving she is childish and overly dramatic than it is to just stay single? I honestly have a pretty strong distaste for a large majority of women, and overlooking her flaws she's treated me very well and shown there is intelligent thought, but she has also said some very unforgivable shit to me and gets genuinely confused by simple things or just plain doesn't understand. I love her and have almost 2 years of history, but also feel like how different we are would be an issue as much as I try to not let it be. So, to relationship or nah?

>>17124799
We get tired of sex. Maybe you're trying to fuck him too frequently, or maybe just not the way he likes anymore. Ask him, if nothing else try to get him more into it.

>>17124807
Thanks! That might be it. Lately, we have been seeing us every day as opposed to once every week and we are used to always have sex when we see each other. That might just be the reason! However, i asked him more than once if he even wanta to continue and he always said yes. But a little break might not be a bad idea.

>>17124798
>>17124715
please respond

So I look like a Chad, but I'm really a shy goofy nerd. The girls that are more my type (shy quiet girls) never ends well when I date them. But I get lots of attention from hot dumb girls. Now I'm not an autist and I've gotten laid and had girlfriends and all that jazz. But those were always miracles. I'm too Chad-like for the girls im compatible with, and too nerdy for the hot girls. How can I introduce myself to a normal nice girl without freaking her out or seeming creepy?

>>17124828
Why does it never end well? What are the actual problems with you being "too Chad-like"?

>>17124817
You might also look into his health, sex is a work out on its own and after the same repeated motion for so long getting tired or losing interest is expected. Seriously, if you want better sex being in shape for it is a large part of that

>>17124818
Suck it up brother. You can text her again, but I think you already know how it'll make you feel and honestly humans need their space sometimes. If you've ever had a bad day you know that sometimes even your favorite things in this life seem like shit.

>>17124838
They always give me strange excuses and stop all communication with me. I'm not weird or a creep or text them a lot or anything out of the ordinary. Idk I guess I intimidate them

>>17124828
You're going to have explain your 'Chadness' better. If you're a douche, that's probably why those relationships didn't end well, but that's normal of a Chad. If you're just poo brain horse sometimes and fuck up something good that's human and you'll need to explain that. Otherwise, I'd say show them something genuine and let the person know how you feel and it won't matter if they're a Stacy or just a shy girl.

>>17124779
Pls respond

>>17124855
Alright. I'll wait until tomorrow.
You don't think this means she's changed her mind?
We've been flirting pretty hard, so it would be a complete 180 from even just two days before.
Of course, like I said, we were having a conversation when she just stopped responding. I figured she might have just been busy, but the fact she still hasn't responded suggests otherwise.

>>17124798
You come off a bit pushover, try giving her space bro

>>17124871
Not a girl, but sounds like she just wanted a fun night and you were attractive enough to her that physical intimacy was what she wanted. If she's not a dumb broad, ask her if she's alright with having another night together

>>17124867
I just look like a Chad, I lift, dress /fa/, I'm tall, have nice facial hair etc. but I'm actually a down to earth goofy person. I act normal and I'm genuine and good hearted to shy girls, but they always run away.

>>17124872
Hmm, it's seems a sign of loss of interest but more or less seemed like a dry conversation from the picture. Either way, you'll only know when you hear from her again and no amount of spamming her phone will give you that answer.

>>17124843
Well, he's VERY fit, so that's not the problem. I also try to share the "strenuous part" equaly. It's just that i'm used to him cuming rather quickly, so it's a bit weird. Maybe he does something to last longer intentionally?

>>17124883
Maybe it's the goofy in that description that throwe them off, do you have a hard time speaking or generally getting passionate or nerdy over subjects?

Bf has brought up having a threesome a couple times recently. I said I would go for it depending on who the other guy is, but also he'd have to get one of his gay/bi friends to top him for me. Bf is straight. He didn't sound willing to do it but should I keep pushing it?

>>17124874
That's what I was afraid of.
When we first started speaking, I'd limit myself to only sending one message a day.
As time went on, we'd slowly get to the point where we'd have full conversations over the course of a few days, and then the past few days we'd have a conversation each day.

I try to make sure that I'm not the only one asking questions and whatnot. A lot of times I would try responding in ways to force her to drive the conversation so that I could be sure that she wanted to talk too and that I wasn't just being overbearing. Other times I'd drive the chat.

Anyways, at this point, I'd chat with her at the same time every night after I got off of work.

So - how long should I wait before I send a second message?
I sent the "So how are you" at the same time as the first; it was just an afterthought.

>>17124897
No not at all, I enjoy having conversations with people. And I know not to be overbearing or cringy during a conversation. And if the situation is okay for it I will get very passionate over a subject, without sounding pretentious.

>>17124896
It sounds like you're doing your part well, or at least when you have sex he's excited and/or ready to blow his load. It would make sense to try to last longer, that's something just about any guy grasps as having good sex but if it's to the point where sex stops and it's just masturbating there might be an issue.

>>17124909
I do think that he would like to last longer, despite me always reassuring him that i love our sex just the way it is.it could also be that he just enjoys the mutual masturbating. We recently started doing that and he seems to really dig watching me masturbate. But i'll suggest a bit less frequency nonetheless.

>>17124903
You've been taking it at a good pace anon, I think you're doing well to make it an equal part participation with the conversations. She may be the type to prefer more straight forwardness, or even just testing to see how clingy you are. I've known a woman very close to me for over 4 years and our relationship started out in this manner, and we thrived over the occasional texts but it's no way to start a relationship. Really think about what you want and how much you know this woman. If she's worth it, you'll wait.

Both:
Bf and my son hit it off surprisingly well when we started out. Now i slowly can see that fading and i realized that my bf sees him as an annoyance and doesn't really like him. I was afraid this will happen. I can't blame him. It's a weird situation and i'm asking a lot from him if i not only want him to tolerate my son but actually like him.
But damn, it hurts. There's nothing else i can do besides breaking up with him, right? I have tried talking about it, but obviously, he won't outright tell me that he doesn't like my son. Although, he hinted on it.
I don't want my son to feel like the third wheel and like he isn' wanted.

>>17124904
Honestly, I can see the Chad just in how well you seem as a person. I'd say you have too many filters and not enough visible flaws for the shy girls to be comfortable. But, stranger things than a Chad with a shy girl have happened before.

>>17124943
>But damn, it hurts. There's nothing else i can do besides breaking up with him, right?
Most men are going to find your kid annoying. If you're looking for someone to pretend to be his father, yeah probably.

>>17124948
Well I suppose I'll just keep at it, I'll find someone eventually.

>>17124943
If he's a genuine person, he'll let you know it can't work. That's a shit feeling on either part, no parent should feel like that. Break up with him if you feel like it's what's best for both you and your son, but know it's going to be difficult for most guys to get through that without having issues.

>>17124955
I hope you do bro, it's not always easy being a Chad

>>17124801
Any takers on this? I'm tired as fuck and am curious on other anons input. Both genders

>>17124950
Well, i know of families where it has worked out. bf is more than willing to "accept" him. But i fear for my sons sanity and happines if he feels that underlying unwantednes for the rest of his life. Especially if we have some more kids... He said he would always threat them equaly, but he can't possibly know since he doesn't have kids on his own yet.
After all, the question is what would fuck my son up more. Growing up with just his mom or growing up inside a family he would feel slightly left out (ofc i would never give him that feel, but i can't speak for the other ones in a possible family) ? I know those options are both not optimal, but this is all about damage controle...

>>17124960
Happy parent is always better than two unhappy parents. You two might be happy together but if that was an actual feeling you pick up on you'll be unhappy about it and it'll spread from there.

>>17124956
I feel like he genuinely is sure it will work nonetheless. I can also not tell if it is possible that they will get closer with time. I know it is a LOT i'm asking from him and i really am thankfull for all his effort. But at the end of the day, my son is at my mercy and i don't plan to use that dependancy in a wrong way. My job is to protect him, so i try to find what will cause the least harm.

>>17124968
Exactly what i fear... I'm going to bring the topic up with my bf today and tell him that. I could already feel me distancing myself a tiny bit the moment i realized. And that's not what i want - at all...
Thanks anons for helping me out with this one

>>17124942
Then I'll definitely wait.
Anyways, I've been very straightforward.
Here's an excerpt of one of our chats:

ME:
>Absolutely! <3 Now, I have a question for you. As we've been talking I've come to like you. Do you think we could turn that tour I promised you into a date?

HER:
>Haha.. are you asking me to a date?

ME:
>Yes.

HER:
>Yea' of course ikr. :D haha. Let see:D

Another one:

ME:
>And, again - I can't stress enough how awesome that is. I like smart people. :D

HER:
>So does it mean you like me? Loljk. Hahaha :) :D

ME:
>Of course I like you! Haha :D

So, again - I've been 100% direct, but I'm also not trying to creep on her. With the exception of me asking her on date, I've only ever done those direct flirtations after she plays along, otherwise I keep it at mid-level flirty chat.

And just two days ago, she asked me out of the blue if I was chatting with anyone else, so I said "just you" and asked if she was, and she said that she was just chatting with me, too.
So, I said "Aww. I feel special" and she said "You're truly special lol".

I'm usually extremely awkward and reserved, so I've been trying my hardest to come out of my shell and be assertive and frank and I made so much progress, so I hope this isn't the end.

;_;

Maybe she just wants a friend and I'm overthinking all of our interactions. If so, that's fine.

>>17124212
Abs

>>17124239
Wannabe dick juice you should try actual dick to differentiate

>>17124960
>Well, i know of families where it has worked out. bf is more than willing to "accept" him. But i fear for my sons sanity and happines if he feels that underlying unwantednes for the rest of his life.
I think the key is if he tries to pretend to be the father, or if he's just something comparable to an uncle. If he tries to force himself into the former just for your sake he's going to resent it, and in turn resent the kid.

>>17124991
Alright, i'll make sure to keep an eye on that. I told him that i don't expect him to be a "father". I told him he should just see what comes naturally... But i think he is pressuring himself a bit. I'm def foing to stress that point again.

My boyfriend told me he would dump me in a heartbeat if I gained weight.

I kinda laughed it off at the time but it really hurt me, worst part is he was serious.

How am I supposed to react to this...I really like him and some people told me I was overreacting, but how can someone that loves you not only say something like this, but actually mean it?
What does it means?
Any other girl out there that went through this?

>>17125009
Whoa... He's only seeing you as a body. Dump immediately. Wtf

>>17125009
What was the context?
Did you ask him? Or did he just say it out of the blue?
Have you been gaining or losing weight recently or in the past?
It's a pretty harsh thing to say, taken out of context.

>>17124899
Help me out, guys of /adv/.

>>17125009
Being fat is a character flaw

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>>17125009
I actually know a very close friend and her bf told her the exact same thing, I told her that's just incredibly rude and that he was using her to dip his dick wet and she actually got really upset

I get it he's your boyfriend and you won't believe it, but if a guy tells you that it's a huge red flag.

>>17125009
That's an incredibly blunt and awful thing to say, but I'd be lying if I didn't agree 100% with it.

>>17124978
again - please respond.
Do I sound creepy here or just direct?
Do you think her response to my "I feel special comment" was a good sign? Keep in mind that that response of hers was only two days ago.

>>17125009
I would never date a fatso, BUT hear this.
I wouldn't because to me it is a red flag significant of laziness and other character flaws.

HOWEVER if I met a girl I truly liked, and she packed on the pounds later, I wouldn't hold it against her. I would still love her.

Because love isn't about the shape of your body.

Dump him - he only sees you as a trophy.

>>17124212
Adonis belt, any time.

>>17125017
We were watching a show where a fat girl came up.

>man I'd dump you in the spot if you ever got fat
>asked him if he was serious
>he said yes, with no smirk, just like silent judgement
And no, I lost a little recently but that's about it and it's not that noticeable
>>17125028
It might, but you don't say that to someone you love
I feel like I'm just getting used for sex

how do you say that to someone you care about????? it says you only care about their body!!

>>17125009
Sounds kind of shitty. It's one thing if someone gains weight, and refuses to do anything about it. Those are valid reasons to break up. On the flipside, weight gain often follows stuff like depression.

It's way too contextual to apply a blanket statement like that imo.

Would you date someone who couldn't grow a hitler stache?

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>>17125084
ofc not. what a silly question

>>17124817
I like to take my time in bed, so sometimes I'll just keep going without thinking about it and never end up cumming. Sometimes the girl feels bad about it, but I've always thought of sex as an 'it's the journey, not the destination' kind of thing. If it's not that, then it's probably what the other guy said.

>>17124828
I wouldn't call myself Chad-like, but I have the same problem as you. I get plenty of attention from bleached blonde party girl types, but can't get the time of day out of the more bookish types that I prefer.

>>17125069
>it says you only care about their body
Not necessarily. He cares about your health, your motivation, your self control. It'd be different if being fat wasn't bad for you, but it is. Don't be a lazy fuck.

>>17125069
>it says you only care about their body!!
yes you should break up with him, and get really fat, so you can meet men that don't care about your body

Women.

I'm a 25yo dude dating an 18yo virgin. Give me tips.

>>17125132
get out of there or get ready for daddy issues and immaturity

>>17125132
yeah. you are probably very immature and not ready to have a realtionship if you have to turn to kids for dating

>>17125132
eat the ass

>>17125146
Let's call it a quarter life crisis and being in the last moments when I can actually pull tight 18yo chicks. No need to be mean about it. Plus she lives on her own and kinda has her shit together. Not saying something will definitely come out of it but why not have fun when opportunity presents itself.

>>17125151
Ass is always being eaten.

>>17125142
That's what I expect but thanks.

This is a thread started by followers for fellow followers

>>17125009
>>17125012
This is valid if he actively keeps himself fit as well. if he's a lazy slob that doesn't keep up his hygiene, groom, dress, and body he has no say in the matter.

Sexual attraction is extremely important in a relationship. If one side let's themselves go while the other is actively trying to make themself attractive it straight up isn't fair.

it not only means you don't care about yourself but you don't care for your partner either.

>>17125165
hes overweight, slightly overweight
like skinny fat

>>17125009
He'd dump you in a heartbeat for something without finding out what caused it, even when it's something that could likely be fixed.
So he's telling you he is unreliable as a long term partner and will choose breaking up over working through things. How you choose to take that is up to you, maybe you're fine with a casual relationship and would do the same to him. If you're actually invested in it though, might be time to rethink things.

Alright so if I'm 23 and still haven't had a girlfriend how much of a red flag is that seen as by women?

If it comes up, am I actually better off lying about it?

>>17125181
if you feel like lying then say something like "I haven't been in anything serious"

totally not a lie.

>>17125188
Not bad. Thanks.

>>17125181
Don't lie about it, it is not such a red flag as you seem to think.

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>>17125167
there are a lot of factors but really if he isn't making the effort either then he's full of shit.

I would never dump someone for getting fat but I would push them to work out with me and to diet. I control what I eat but I'm not super hardcore about it and will cheat a lot by having extremely limited portions of something super delicious(I fucking love food).

But if they outright refuse to take care of themselves then that's a deal breaker.

>>17125009
Don't take it too seriously.

Most people would definitely be unattracted to their partner if their partner gained 10-20lbs, that's a fact. I doubt he's serious about leaving you immediately if you gain weight - otherwise he wouldn't have said it. Judging by your other post he seems like he was half joking anyway.

>>17125196
>Don't lie about it, it is not such a red flag as y
I want to agree a little bit to this. Like, a lot of girls might find it cute.

At the same time women are attracted to a man that is desirable and stable. This is why so many guys seem to find girls flirting with them more when they already have a GF or are married. Some women tend to only be attracted to married men.

I had one female friend when I was 23 she was 17. We talked a lot online but lived in completely different countries. She would fucking tell me about a new man she was fucking and every time he would be married already. She probably broke up 3 marriages before she turned 18.

Females, following question is absolutely genuine and serious. I know it sounds stupid, but still, please, answer.

Are you, like, normal people, logically performing humans? Is it possiblle to be really honest with you?

how do you talk to black girls?

what are they interested in and stuff?

>>17125224
Judge people on a case by case basis if you want to know how logical they are. Otherwise you're not one of those logically performing humans either.

>>17125231
>what are they interested in and stuff?
panthers, top hats, bats, charcoal, the night sky, crude oil, black bears, black beans, black cats, jack black, etc

males growing up in single mother household, without a father figure, how much has it affected you and in what ways?

>>17124899
>Bf is straight
Then why would he want another guys dick up his butt?

>>17125276
>not wanting a dick up your butt

>>17125224
Depends on the person, of course.
I am not extremely emotional (beside the days before my period, when I get way more sensitive) and I'm fairly logical all over. I appreciate honesty (if it's useful).
My best friend is extremely emotional and can get mad over literally nothing (right now she's mad at me because I'll go on holiday with my dad and can't go out with her). You can't be honest with her because she's basically insane.
I know many guys who are extremely logical, and many other who are pretty much little bitches.

Girlfriend is giving me such mixed signals. Yesterday she was sending me videos that she knew I'd find funny and then as we were joking around she suddenly got annoyed at me saying that I sound annoyed at her when I was joining in and then we went back to joking around, she suddenly went serious and asked me if im taking steroids when I'm not. She just seems to take everything in a bad way the past few days

>>17125278
>being a fag

>>17125181
It's really not that big of a deal imo. I've only met one woman that thought it was very weird to be like that, and she had her own host of issues that were much more significant.

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Who performed the first rimjob - a man or a woman?

>>17125284
>not being a fag

>>17124899
if he isn't at all bi/gay then it won't happen, no way in hell

>>17125248
I often wonder how big of a difference it has made on me.

I'm a weak person, and I never really work hard. But my dad is the same way. I'm not masculine or manly or anything though, while he is.

My mother had boyfriends but I never accepted them as father figures, so I don't know how much of an impact happened there either.

Really, it's hard to tell with these things.

I'm curious why you ask though.

>>17125282
no one would be able to tell and I doubt she knows either.

my ex fuckin would go from joking around to being extremely offended by the same god damn joke. Like, her brother getting introuble with the cops was hilarious to her and then an hour later she was upset at me for making fun of her family with "only we(her blood family) are allowed to joke like that".

It's like ok... you were fine with it literally 40 minutes ago and now I'm not part of the family any more.

I wish I could tell you anon I really do. I was always extremely kind to her and told her I loved her every day and showered her with affection but she was constantly flip flopping on her emotions/ It drove me fucking insane. One day she would say she felt like the most loved girl on earth and the next say I have been neglecting her.

>>17125248
Really badly I think. I have severe social anxiety and generally avoid people as much as possible. I have zero friends, have never had a girlfriend (and probably never will, I'll die a virgin), and cannot hold even basic conversations with people. Contrast this with my brother who was raised by my father - he's a couple of years older but he has a house, a long-term gf, a good social life, a well-paying job and everything about him is perfectly normal.

>>17125294
Even a shitty father figure is better than none.

I'm proof of that it give you direction of what a man should be and what it takes to make it.

>>17125295
Was that a factor in you breaking up? I love my girlfriend, I really do but I don't feel I should put up with this. Did you ask her about it?

>>17124799
He might be taking antidepressants. They can cause that effect.

Women, especially the very sensitive kind,

Let's say you've been dating a guy for quite a long time, 6 years or so. How would you "prefer" for him to break up with you?

I don't love her anymore but she didn't do anything wrong. It sounds so horrible, I don't think she could handle that reason. I know she will suffer but I want it to be as little as possible. What should I do?

>>17125303
Try to find some dirt on her.

It will make it much easier for you and her

>>17125316
Making her believe she did something wrong will help her?

>>17125051
>>17124978
pls respond

>>17124978
It sounds fine. It would only be "creepy" if she wasn't responding positively. Or if she wasn't responding the same way you were. You're both using smiley's and haha's, and as long as both people are using them it isn't an issue. It's only creepy/awkward when just one person is doing it.

Sounds like you're talking playfully and positively. Congratz, that is flirting.

>>17125344
but now she just stopped responding in the middle of a chat. Surely that's a bad sign?
Why do girls do this? If you want to stop talking, why not be frank and save the guy the trouble of wondering for a while?
Let him move on.

>>17123789

I'm about to start working out in a new gym. How do I make new friends (especially girls) without looking like the classic weirdo that just wants to fuck?

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Am I playing it right with this girl?

>Meet nerdy girl at nerdy hobby shop thing 2 weeks ago
>Instantly smitten
>Hang out with girl first two times I go to this weekly thing, we get on pretty well
>She wasnt there the 3rd week I went, started messaging her on fbook, we got to chatting, convo continued flowing naturally, asking questions about each other

>Ask her if she wants to go see captain america with me, shes already seen it once but says "hellz yeah" anyway
>Went to see it together last night, I bought tickets, she bought snacks

>Had a really fun time, but didnt do anything "romantic", we just carried on chatting about each others lives

>Says shes gonna be at the nerdy hobby shop thing again this friday

And now it is monday. Im on the right track right? I really like her but I dont wanna push it too fast and scare her off or anything. Ive been a little teeny tiny bit flirty, telling her she looks pretty and stuff, but nothing too much

I feel like this is the right speed, I just dont want her to think I just wanna be friends.

When we hang out on friday, I should ask her out on an official date right? Thats a decent amount of time of just "hanging" as friends. I feel like I should be keeping the mometum going.

If I sound a little crazy, Im just a tad invested in this girl. Because shes actually nerdier than I am and its making me crush hard as fuck

>>17125359

Dont talk to girls in gyms you dont know. Its weird

Guys are fine offering to spot each other or just idle chit chat waiting to use equipment. But girls, theres just no way to get over the "Hes looking to fuck" thing

>>17125295
>>17125282

Women are crazy because hormones and emotions.
Fact.

Best you can do to deal is just try to appease them and not start shit when they go through a "bad swing"

>>17124899

Maybe the bf wants a MFF threesome?

Not many straight guys are looking for a dick in their ass

>>17125286
Most likely a man.

Because men are a tad bit more sexual than women. Would neither surprise me if a man mistook the asshole for the entrance to the vagina. It's easier to mistake the asshole for a vagina in comparison to a penis.

However, I can believe women were the first one to fingerfuck an asshole due to medicinal practices.

>>17124798
Just ask what you want to ask..

I don't get guys who ask how I'm doing, then what I've done, talking about random topics until it's time for bed. Just tell me what the hell you want so I can either turn you down or accept. It's like you are trying to get some fictional "nice guy points". I most likely made up my mind in the fifteen seconds of meeting you the first time, and you need to do some proper good stuff in order to win me over from the no go to yes team after that. Isn't it better to just get it over with so you too can move on if it turns sour?

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>>17124418
>How come women can't do Engineering degrees?
For the same reason men "can't" do nursing.
In western countries anything with "engineering" in it is considered "for men".
It's pretty goddamn sad, girls miss out on a lot of great shit and excellent career opportunities, and guys miss out on sharing hobbies with the girls they like.

For example, I code for fun and the first and only female programmer I've met IRL is my cousin: she actually does it for a living and is 3/4 through her CS degree. She's from the "old country" (my parents immigrated to the US) and over there it's not considered weird, nerdy, autistic, or whatever for girls to like computers and technology.

>Is it because you lack the capability? Are mean just smarter than women?
Nope, women are superior at education in general, at all levels, and it's getting more and more obvious over time (test scores, enrollment, diagnosis and medication rates for learning disabilities and ADHD, etc).
It's mainly due to girls being much better at maintaining enthusiasm (less easily bored), being patient, sitting still, and trusting those more knowledgeable than them.
These are caused by both biological differences (eg testosterone), sociocultural factors (eg boys are expected to be more aggressive and active), and complex phenomena from both (eg ADHD, autism, cluster-A are overwhelmingly male in the clinic).

>>17125431
>In western countries anything with "engineering" in it is considered "for men".
Half of the women in my engineering course admitted they would flirt with socially inept men to get them to help them out. I'm going to have trouble believing this was all because of the patriarchy boogeyman.

>Nope, women are superior at education in general, at all levels, and it's getting more and more obvious over time (test scores, enrollment, diagnosis and medication rates for learning disabilities and ADHD, etc).
At common core, maybe. Overall they rate higher with english grades, but men are higher in math referencing SAT scores.

Girls and boys, I cannot get over the fact that a friend of mine is preferring her boyfriend's presence over mine. She literally drops me whatever we're doing the same minute he calls. It feels like I am secondary in every single way.

I need advice on how to make this either stop, or make myself feel better, because it's driving me insane. I don't think she values me at all.

>>17125466
A SO should come first. If you guys make plans and she ditches you halfway in that's bullshit, but don't be surprised when she prioritizes plans with him over you.

>>17125471
I don't mind her planning stuff with him. Like you said, that's completely normal. But, like, we're doing something together, he calls, and she just drops it and runs off. It makes me feel like garbage. I've talked to her about it, but she doesn't seem to give a shit. I feel absolutely miserable due to it, and I don't wanna be an ass and just treat her the same way, but it seems like the only reasonable thing to do until she somehow understands that she can't just do shit like that to me.

Hey girls, my penis is averagely lengthed at 5.7 inches from the base but my girth is 6.6. I have only had sex once and that was awkward, my current gf has had more partners than me and her last one had an 8 inch cock but his girth was around 4 inches.

Does length really matter ladies or is girth more important? I want to please her but I'm having second thoughts with my little pecker.

>>17125479
What should I do?

>>17125479
Then start hanging out with other people if she's not going to respect your time. Having a relationship isnt a free pass to disrespect peoples time, and she's not going to change that behavior if you've already told her what she's doing.

>>17125486
I feel like I am going to lose her like that.

>>17125448
>Half of the women in my engineering course admitted they would flirt with socially inept men to get them to help them out.
Unfortunate. Sadly the few chicks who go into engineering in the US do tend to be kind of unpleasant.
Asian girls excepted though, at least in my experience (though that's not very comforting if you're not into them).

And yeah boys are still better than girls at math, but even that's probably going to change in our lifetimes. School's becoming a more hostile environment to boys every day, girls are adapting much better. Almost every metric is shifting in girls' favor, from degree completion rates to ADHD diagnoses.
IIRC only spatial reasoning shows enough of a biological difference to resist this, and i doubt it can drive more than a 10% disparity in most engineering disciplines.

>>17125466
>I cannot get over the fact that a friend of mine is preferring her boyfriend's presence over mine.
First, are you female or male?
If male, don't complain. You would want your girlfriend to do the same.
If female, how close are you as friends?

>>17125479
>But, like, we're doing something together, he calls, and she just drops it and runs off.
Pretty jerkish to leave people hanging, but everyone tends to do it at the start, when they're still in the infatuation/puppy-love stage where they can't get enough and want to be with their partner every minute of every day.
How long has she been with him?

>>17125539
>Sadly the few chicks who go into engineering in the US do tend to be kind of unpleasant.
Yep, a few were an exception. A woman I'm friends with had recently had a kid with her husband and managed to maintain a 3.8 GPA if memory serves for instance. But the majority of them honestly had no business being there.

>And yeah boys are still better than girls at math, but even that's probably going to change in our lifetimes
Again, maybe under common core which is designed to just push the biggest retards out of K-12. But I'm fairly confident applicable knowledge will stay biased towards men, and that the STEM gender gap will not have any substantial change.

Anyone that wants to go past Calc 2 will have to relearn everything with that system of theirs.

>Almost every metric is shifting in girls' favor, from degree completion rates to ADHD diagnoses.
Look at the degrees women are graduating with. Worthless degrees are overwhelmingly their domain. The world needs only so many therapists, and never someone with a communications degree.

>>17124623
Wtf is wrong with your father?

Therapy.

>>17125548
I'm a guy. She's been my best friend for over 10 years. Only recently I started taking action towards this behavior of hers. And no, I wouldn't want my girlfriend to mistreat her best friend for me.

They've been together for about one year.

>>17125101

If he cared about those things, he'd be willing to help her through whatever was hypothetically causing her to gain weight.

Dumping someone for developing depression =/= caring about their happiness.
Dumping someone for falling into poverty =/= caring about their success.
Dumping someone for getting cancer =/= caring about their health.
Etc.

All he cares about is how she looks. Which isn't invalid - wilfully getting/staying fat and gross without any care for your partner is selfish. But cutting and running when your partner gains weight for any reason, regardless of any desire to turn it around, is cold as fuck.

>>17125479
Just stop hanging out with her. If it doesn't phase her, she doesn't give a shit and you shouldn't be wasting your time on her in the first place.

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>>17125362

Please respond

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>>17125576
>And no, I wouldn't want my girlfriend to mistreat her best friend for me.
Sadly most guys kinda do, and girls are often ok with it.

If it's been a year, has anything changed over time? Better or worse?

>>17125588
>If he cared about those things, he'd be willing to help her through whatever was hypothetically causing her to gain weight.
Completely true, but let's be honest, how exactly would you start that conversation?
>I noticed you've gained weight recently, want any help losing it?
>So your size is really starting to interfere with our sex life, could you maybe consider losing some weight?
>Wanna start working out with me in the mornings? No? Aw come on, It's fun and I think it'd be great for you. No i didn't mean anything by that... No i'm not saying you're fat... No I don't think you're ugly...
Pic related.

>>17125362 >>17125624
Yes you're on the right track, stop worrying. Just keep going.

>>17125639
>Completely true, but let's be honest, how exactly would you start that conversation?
By having a conversation like a couple of grown ass adults who have been together long enough to be invested in each others' physical health.
Certainly not by saying "if you ever got fat, I'd dump you," while watching TV.

>>17125644
Not the guy you're replying to, but I would like to point out that many women would, without a doubt, say something if you stopped caring about your appearance (untidy clothes, hair, etc.). So how come all of a sudden it's bad when you are turned off by her weight?

I feel that's a huge double standard.

>>17125674
The anon you're responding to is saying to have a conversation about it. They're just saying it will be ineffective if you just call her fat and leave it at that.

>>17125683
Sorry about that. Should've read the thread.

What's the best way for me to rub my gf's pussy? We're both virgins so we don't really know what we're doing. She seems to enjoy it, but I'd love to make her orgasm. Also she's a pretty shy and relatively prude person. It took some begging to let me touch her.

>>17125576
I have a friend like that, shes my sisters best friend and she ignored us for almost a year because her bf was super possessive

You know what happened? She snapped and told him if he ever tells ger to ditch us or that she cant spend fime with us, especially me because im a guy and you know how that works...
That she would break up with him instantly, he was shocked

You can do more damage in telling her something, we tried it and it juat turned to us being dicks
In time they broke up because she realized she was being shitty to us and that we are more family than a random boyfriend

>>17124450
plenty

>>17124459
honestly man, if you haven't tried it, wait until the drama has died and you're in a better place, weed will always be around

>>17125303
this one is gonna hurt no matter what you say, you just gotta rip the band aid off. Try to be as blunt and honest about how you actually feel. Do it in public. don't waiver.

>>17125362
you're doing fine, just keep playing it by ear

Girls

Do you find it rude when a guy slowly checks you out from the feet upwards?

>it has been 18 hours. ;_;
Why do you stop replying, princesses?
>inb4 been kidnapped by the villain

>>17125712
It's pretty personal what feels best, but (as far as I know) all women enjoy the schlick sensation that also makes them more sensitive. So make sure to not finger her dry, ideal is when she's wet enough for you to use her own juices, but depending on her nerves and natural production you might have to use lube instead.

As for her individual preferences, no choice but to experiment and ask for her feedback. Some women love to have clitoral fingering mixed up with pushing fingers inside or massaging her asshole, others don't care for that or shudder at the idea. Some women like really firm, direct pressure on their clits and for others this is too much and it feels better to swerve around it or press down on it a bit with something in between.
The quickest way to get to the bottom of it is to encourage her to show you how she fingers herself. Having said that, from your post it seems very likely that she would not be comfortable with that, and perfectly possible that she doesn't even know how to make herself climax. So in that case you'll have to resign to trying different things and noticing how she responds - if she does not want to be very verbal, pay attention to her breathing, when she sucks in her breath, whether she clenches or relaxes her mucsles, how wet she's getting. It's not exact science, you'll have to go through trial and error to get there especially if she's too demure to give straightforward feedback on how it feels. As long as you're not too narrowly focussed on the end result, it's very fun getting there, though.

Also it completely depends on the woman whether fingering or oral is easier to make them cum... so that could also be a factor.

Apart from hand technique, do not forget to try dirty talk, eye contact, having her sit in a specific position like in your lap...

>>17125770
Completely depends. For me what's rude is doing so both blatantly and without attention for you. If a guy does this and he is obviously trying to be quick and discreet about it but I notice, it's just a nice little unspoken compliment. If he does it in an obvious way but also "connects" with me - looking with as much interest in my face, giving a sincere smile/wink, basically anything that invites me into interaction - it can be quite sexy and is not rude, at most something you're not in the mood for at a specific time.

What IS rude is when guys check you out slowly and obviously confidently, but don't bother to look you in the face or acknowledge that you saw them looking. It's that kind of one way staring that makes you feel not like you're being admired or someone is taken with you, but like your body is coldly evaluated by someone who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

I'm an out of shape, jobless, neet, whose 26 years old and spends the majority of his time reading comics and masturbating well things I actually am afraid to go on record and admit.

How do I fix my life?

>>17125832
Therapy.

>>17125832
Consistently making different choices. It's not going to be easy, people tend to become set in their ways easily. Right now your life is completely shaped around what's comfortable and easy. If you want to change things long term you're going to have to make changes on lots of levels in your life.

Don't get discouraged if it doesn't work right away, it won't. It's about growing as a person and investing long term in the kind of life you want to have. Start small. If you want to go jogging at 5 am every morning from now on, you're bound to fail. It takes a lot of will power to resist impulses so you can't try everything at once. For example, start with cutting out soda (or introduce a lot of daily vegetables, if you already don't drink soda) when it comes to being out of shape. Start with forcing yourself to entertain yourself for an hour every day by doing something other than reading comics or using the computer. A more long term goal would be picking up a hobby that allows you to meet people through related canals.

Also, when it comes to being social, no turning invitations down. If you never see people to begin with, start attending free lectures/concerts and invite yourself as soon as you see an opening somewhere. It's not going to be great fun right away. You'll be frustrated and bored a lot before settling into it and finding people you actually connect with. But if you hear negative feedback, remind yourself that you got where you are now due to your own judgement, and you cannot expect your life to do a 180 without changing the kind of choices you make and the priorities you uphold. Good luck!!

>>17125845
What that's actually an option? they can deal with these problems?

>>17125850
Also, therapy is indeed not a bad idea. It can be a very effective tool, but ultimately therapy is also reliant on how much effort you are willing to put in and the extent to which you can find it within yourself to leave your comfort zone. A good therapist is another set of ears and eyes, gives you quality attention and supports you while occasionally offering fresh insight. They cannot actually fix things for you or make your issues go away, that's still on you.

>>17125850
>>17125853
Sounds live I've a long way to go, I'll try what you suggested, I can't keep on going like this, this isn't a life anybody wants.
Thank you anon.

>>17125858
Yeah, sadly, chances are you do. The thing is that if you live in this comfy construct, you are not really confronted with the reasons why you arranged your life this way. But chances are that this didn't happen by chance and you are going to have to uproot some really old habits that came into existence in the first place because they made life easier, less daunting, whatever. This doesn't have to be the case so don't get freaked out if you feel like none of this applies to you, but most people do not accidentally get into a position like this, it is an accumulation of character traits, mental issues, bad experiences, low self esteem, plenty more options.

The positive part is that if you manage to do that, you will have faced a bigger challenge in terms of self improvement than your peers, and plenty of them will in a slower pace near similar (or their own, different) issues that they'll instead have to tackle when they get a burn out in their thirties or mid life crisis in their forties. So try to also see it as a huge learning process that will shape your character and serve you throughout the rest of your life.

And, as I said, it's very important to strive for the bigger picture and not get too hung up on wanting to do everything great right away. You can stumble and get up, if you beat yourself down when you can't do something that will only wear your motivation down. Everyone learns more quickly and easily with encouragement instead of constant critique.

I recently met a woman and we got incredibly close within a couple of days of meeting each other. I was completely ready to date and start a new chapter of my life with her; but she wasn't ready. Our conversations slowly dwindled into us not talking at all. It's been weeks. I feel such a void in my life now. I know I just need to meet another woman but this feels so different. Every girl I meet or see I just compare to her. It's almost like I got teased with something I truly was waiting for and never really got any closure. She's just off doing her thing and I'm over here just asking why every day.

Does this emptiness I feel go away? Will I ever stop comparing other women to her?

>>17125874
It's impossible to say. In all likelihood, yeah, you had a connection with her that you don't find every day, but you'll experience it again in your life, for a few rare other women. It's impossible to tell, though. If I were you I'd send her a polite, short message, saying your respect where she is right now in terms of dating, but you can't get hr out of your head after these few weeks and wanted to give it one more shot before you gave up and started actively dating again. This way you at least rule out 100% that she's on the fence herself and you never know.

Other than that, you have no choice but to move on. Don't worry about comparing other women to her. You won't feel that way if someone else really strikes a chord in you. It's normal to not feel instantly personally impressed with someone regardless of whether they are friendly and cute.

Bump >>17125793

>>17125886
I gotcha. I was living life with that "good things come to those who wait" mindset. And she added me on facebook, messaged me first, set up us hanging out etc. I was just like Wow this is really happening. And when it came down to it she just got second thoughts. It honestly hurts so much. More than i care to type. She told me she'd been single for a year or so and the fact it only took 3 or 4 days for her to fall for me was too much for her to handle. We don't talk at all anymore. I don't even feel comfortable reaching out..

>>17125734
The guy's manipulative and controlling as fuck, too. He gets jealous whenever we're in a call or something, and always, ALWAYS tells her she's cheating with me, and we've never done anything like it. I am pretty sure she just doesn't wanna upset him, but the fact that she prefers him over me so fucking much hurts me like nothing has ever hurt me before. I really don't wanna lose her, and it feels like it.

>>17125894
Oh, I think that's absolutely true. It's good to wait for someone you feel a real connection with. Some people just spark things in you that 99% of everyone you run into don't.

It's your decision but I would advise you to reach out anyway. From what you describe it's not completely hopeless - she could've gotten more clarity in the meantime, now that the direct pressure to make a decision is off because she rejected you - and even if you're not seeing it now, this could cause you to look back on everything and feel like there was a small chance you didn't grab. But well, that's just something to consider, I understand feeling awkward about it.

>>17125911
In my head I already won my half of the chess game. We saw the sunset. We kissed. It felt so right. So the only moves left really are to ask her what she really wants now. And I think it's just too much for me to handle because it's either gonna be positive or drive us even further apart. I'm not even fronting when I say this woman is a 10/10 in my eyes. Including body/personality/morals; the whole sha-bang. Today I've accepted she just isn't ready to stop being single. She has male friends, likes to go out etc. She just wasn't ready. It's all I have to accept

Guys how many chances do you give a girl who flakes (for whatever reason, real or not)?

>>17125923
1

>>17125923
2

>>17125923
Sadly, just one. The honest ones have to pay for the dishonest ones and it's very unfair but after a while you learn to just move on.

>>17125900
This yep

It was my birthday and they got into a fight because she didnt reply to his messages in under a minute because we were playing card games and shit as a group
She called him and after we started playinf again he hung up because she was ignoring him

She was crap the rest of the night, i took her out and we talked at 4 in tge morning about how childish he acted blablabla

I told her its not healthy and if she cant say im doing something, watching a movie, anything because he will get mad thst she should break up and i was seen as a monster because i dont get it

When she told me the same after i got back with my ex it was okay because she saw that was stupid

Look just give her time and thats it, people become bad friends in relationships

We've been together with my gf for about 3 months. Yesterday after I went to sleep she messaged me some random sticker to see if I was asleep. Then she apparently posted a picture on facebook that was gone in the morning when I checked. I received a notification of it since she is in my close friends or whatever.

The picture is up on instagram though, she doesn't know I check her profile. Its a quite sexy picture of her. I'm quite aggravated by it to be honest, am I overreacting or that behavior is suspicious as fuck?

In which scenario is the "if you still want her, go get her" thing acceptable and possibly successful? I mean, like waiting for your ex outside her house or her workplace just to tell her I still love her and give her the kiss of her life? Is it just a movie trope?

>>17126088

Depends on why you broke up in the first place, I guess.

Very stupid question, but how do you know if you're listening to your dick or your head?

>>17126147
>taking an idiom literally

>>17125987
It's suspicious. You're dating a hoe.

>>17126147
Usually, when "I" think with my dick, the thoughts are from "him" (dick) in my head, not me.

>>17126156
>not thinking with your dick
You don't deserve to call yourself "man".

I asked a guy to do an activity with me, didn't specify it as a date, but we'd be alone together.
I asked today at what time we'd meet up, and he gave me a time that would give us just the minimum of time needed to do the thing. It was already established ahead of time that we both were free that day, so it's not like he wouldn't have had time to see each other for a longer time if he had wanted to.
Is this a sign of him not being interested, or am I overthinking it?

Girls,

Could a sudden change in how someone speaks to you indicate interest or something?


Semester is basically finished, won't see her in school until August at least.


Over the course of the semester with her, I became friendly with her, and ended up asking her out. Said yes at first, then her friend popped out of nowhere. Asked again for coffee and got a run around, semi generic answer. But for some reason when I invited her to hang out with some friends like a month and a bit later, she gave a full explanation (Brothers College Graduation 150 miles away, not something you can flake out on) , and we both agreed to hangout sometime soon, and either of us would reach out to arrange it. (Presumably she wants to wait until all her finals are finished as well.)

>>17126158
Also, my dick thinks so much! It is almost a philosopher!

>>17123925
Nah you're probably not, but if you're worried, buy a test.

>>17124051
Then she is probably interested. Don't come on too strong too quick or you'll scare her off.

>>17124095
Don't date teenage boys.

>>17124285
Not particularly. It would make me feel like a bit crass though, because I swear too much.

>>17125987
You're being too possessive and controlling. You're gonna lose her man. Sorry.

>>17125923
I would say 2. She may have a legit excuse the first few times. After that she's just being disrespectful.

>>17125874
Give it time. The feels will go away eventually.

>>17125832
Get a job, go for a run in the morning, start giving a fuck about yourself or you'll be 30 and stuck and lost. Or go to therapy.

>>17125923

1

>>17126192
overthinking

>>17126255
>possesive and controlling

I'm literally the opposite of that though. How the fuck is it my fault now?

Ive been friends with this girl since we were like 13. I had a crush on her for awhile but I got over it. Dont get me wrong shes gorgeous but I am fine being just friends with her. I really just view her as a friend. We are both young like 21 and she has gotten married and had 2 kids already. I hung out with her a bit ago and by the end of the night we were both really drunk. Her friend suggested we played spin the bottle. I ended up making out with her and eventually spin the bottle got more handsy as everyone was feeling each other up. Instant regret the next day. I didnt fuck her or anything.

Should I feel like a scumbag? Is our friendship over? Shes been very very distant ever since. I didnt even want to play spin the bottle her creeper faggot friend brought it up. I just wanted to play board games or something man.

Girls:
are you ever concerned with how much your partner trusts you?
would you ever do something to improve that situation or do you usually expect them to just figure it out themselves and get it together?

>phrased in the general sense because it's shorter than to write down my own personal case

I guess like most of my questions the answer is "Different for everyone"
But, I'll ask anyway because I'm bored.
I know PMS is pre coot bleeding but, what does PMS feel like?

>>17125466
From what I understand, if someone is taken, They pretty much have little to no use for other friends,
Everyone always finds someone better to be with eventually. Being phased out is a part of life.

>>17126373
PMS and dysmenorrhoea get confused a lot.
I have dysmenorrhoea, but not PMS. The symptoms are more or less the same, just at different times (PMS - before the period actually happens. Dysmenorrhoea - while the period is happening)
As for what it feels like - an intense cramping pain in the front part of the lower stomach, that sometimes makes it difficult to breathe. I tend to get diarrhoea and thow up. Headaches. Back pain. I used to get mood swings when I was younger - I got incredibly emotional and would break down crying hysterically over things like not being able to find my other earring.

>>17126391
That's actually pretty scary but, then again its natural so thank you for teaching me.

>>17126373
You're right with it being different so I'll just give my experience. I should add that I do not experience this in particular before I start bleeding, but I don't think that really matters, it all boils down to the effects of the hormonal changes.

First of all, you feel gross. Your stomach is bloated, your skin gets worse from the hormones, and menstruating itself is worse than you'd realize. Some girls don't like to use tampons (because it grosses them out to insert them, they cannot manage to do so in a manner that does not hurt/feel uncomfortable, or they are paranoid about toxic shock syndrome), a lot don't like to use just tampons because it can feel unpleasant to put one in after another, and even if you do use them you bleed through them in a relatively short amount of time, they'll just tone the whole situation down a bit. So you are walking around with basically a diaper light in your panties, and whenever you laugh, sneeze, cough, and sometimes without any discernible reason, you feel the sensation of blood coming out which feels grimly similar to just powerlessly pissing yourself throughout the day. Then there is the clean up and wiping yourself down from your clitoris to in between your butt cheeks, and that in itself doesn't make it a nice happening.

Mentally, I feel taken down a notch. It's similar to perhaps having had a very short night after having been a bit sick already. Your reserve is weakened. You start tearing up because of something you otherwise would've just felt a pang of pity towards. Minor inconveniences can give you this "NOT TODAY" feeling, you feel discouraged like a whole lot of things went wrong already even if that is not the case. In about a third of the cases I feel deep disgust towards my body (ranging from being hypercritical of just how you're shaped and look, to being grossed out by regular stuff like having pores and stool in your bowels and sweating 24/7) and pessimistic.

>>17126397
I have it unusually bad, and I'm on medication for it. But it's usually those sort of symptoms, just at varying degrees of how bad it is.

>>17126399
Pessimistic in the sense of... you know when you think of something in your life and you have different readings of it? So one moment you'll go "I'll manage to get my degree this year, I took a bit longer who cares, so many people never get a university degree and I learned a lot during these years" versus "why did I think I was suited for an academic education, now after five years of scraping by and being a half assed mediocre student I'll get this piece of paper, go me" depending on whether something good or bad just happened and how you feel overall. Well, when I get sad due to hormones it's like of every single aspect in your life, only the bleakest way of looking at it is remotely realistic, and the rest is just naive bullshit you tell yourself to get through the day.

Also physically there's cramps, your breasts, thighs and lower back can become sore and painful, you get these violent watery shits from progesterone.

So there you go. Though I have to say this is what it's like when it's one of my worse months. It depends (for me at least) how bad it is. Besides being on my period can also give me these intense cravings for fatty food that are absolutely great to satisfy, and it can make me quite horny as well. Sometimes I can barely tell that anything's happening and remember on the toilet that I'm menstruating, but I've also had my entire self esteem and mental fortitude crumble and reverted into hugging your knees on the bed while crying too much to make yourself something to eat mode. It's unpredictable.

>>17125923
0.
If she flaked for a legitimate reason she better contact me and explain it.

>>17125923
1

>>17125923
>>17126265
>>17125931
>>17125930
>>17125928
wh-what's considered flaking anons?

>I really don't want to give her the 3rd
>I know it's coming soon

>>17125382
I already told her what I want, you goof.
Read the thread. I already told her that I liked her and wanted a date, so now we're just chatting and getting to better know each other.

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It seems that I finally have a tentative date on when I will go to the museum with the chick I got a crush on, as she agreed on that we could maybe go there on Thursday.
Still she seems so much more distant nowadays, only focusing on her phone instead of chatting with me while we are together. I just dunno man, and she hasn't even me to come do stuff like play board games or watch movies with her herself for weeks.
I probably fucked up somewhere, but I dunno how.

I just don't know anymore. After all this emotional rollercoaster, I am seriously doubting if any of this is even worth the feeling of someone actually liking me back in the end. I am just god damn tired of this bullshit.

>>17126522
Then just ask here where she'd like to go. Or simply say that if it's alright with her, you'll be picking her up at 8 or something.