Hi. Id like to talk with somebody about this and maybe hear similar stories.
1. Here's the thing. My first really big crush was when I was 16. I was thinking about her nonstop, I felt butterflies in my stomach. But we almost never talked ! Because she was from other class and
we rarely saw each other and well, I was extra shy when close to her and me, being too young and unexperienced I couldnt even put any sentence together. So I actually avoided meeting her irl. We chatted on internet though. This crush had a big impact on my
life, as I started going out, drinking, parties, socializing, meeting new people. Turned my life around. But I didnt get the girl which inspired me to do all this.
2. Fast forward - me, 21 years old, started actually dating one girl. We ended up together for 5 years. This was the real deal, this was actually love and real interaction. Stuff happened, we split up last year.
3. Now, Im 26. One year after leaving my long relationship. And there is a co-worker that is having the same effect on me as the girl I had crush on 10 years ago. I thought this
would never happen to me anymore, but here I am, an adult, having a teenage-like crush. The worst part is, Im feeling the same butterflies and shyness as when I was young. How can this be ?
How does one get rid of this feeling ?
What do you think ?
Have you experienced something similar ?
>>16938012
Just remember that you're not your teenage self anymore.
You don't need to feel that awkwardness and if anything once you get the girl she'll find it sweet and endearing that you felt that way about her :)
Just be yourself and act as if you're just talking to some nice person you just happened to bump into and then get along with
Good luck
1. Stop using the word crush, you're infatuated, which is not love (the kind you had with your 5yr gf). You're in love with your ideal of her, sounds like you haven't really gotten to know her as a just another person. Make your intentions known up front. Bust a move or face the friendzone.
2. You're probably feeling this b/c you're worried about being single again after a solid relationship, like you might be worried you've lost your edge or something. Solution is the same, bust a move before you develop strong feelings, as women are weirded out by guys who suddenly express these longing feelings as if they've been building up (which is what you're doing).
See this anon's post: >>16937591
>>16938421
I didnt mean love by "crush", but Im not native speaker so yeah, I meant being infatuated.
You are right I dont even know her, and thats kinda my point. There is no reason for me to feel like this. And yet I do. No logic to it.
>>16938436
The logic is that you've created an ideal image of her in your mind, and that is what you're falling in love with. It's the downside of being a strong conceptual thinker. You need to think less and act more in this situation.
>>16938443
>you've created an ideal image of her in your mind, and that is what you're falling in love with
I dunno, its not love.. But she is nice, her voice sounds like song, and overall cute - what more does a guy need to be interested ?
The first time I was in this position (paragraph 1 in op), I was focusing on the girl, and being obsessed with her, asking her questions every day, etc. What Im doing now is just trying to be myself and work out more, take better care of my looks.. kind of like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty lol.
>>16938477
She can't tell the difference between 15 and 16 inch biceps. She can tell the difference between awkward sideways glances and a man who goes after what he likes. So talk to her, or let the next guy do it. Maybe she's being courted in her personal life. Stop waiting, there is no "right time", but too late is always the wrong time.
k anyone else ?
