>>16479562
I like this thread better because of the higher resolution picture.
i haven't cried so hard in my life as i have since yesterday and today.
>>16479580
Agreed. You can see the feels so much better
I don't want to get fired. But I also hate my job. I don't want to be unemployed, that's the worst feeling. I'm scared I'll never get a good job again. Life is not good.
Things that seem natural to most are extremely difficult to me. I suck at socializing both irl and on the internet. Simple things like sending an e-mail, text message or chatting online makes me anxious and I usually hesitate for 10-30 minutes before I decide weather to send it or not. Even here it takes forever before I decide to post. I also have a lot I want to say, but I have trouble finding the right words.
I want to kill myself but i dont know how to do it painless. Sadly not living in Murcia so no guns
>>16479653
Same here
I fucking love Christmas.
>>16479653
Vent. And learn to not give a fuck what others think of you. Do crazy shit you'd never do in front of people.
You got to overcome some barriers, but you have to control yourself too and know where to stop.
>>16479669
Santa approves! Ho ho ho
I was waiting for this thread.
The jingle on my bag reminds me that it never bothered you, it was so nice since it bothered everyone else.
The bank finally gave me a minimum payment of $20, honestly I want to pay it all off but I'd have to take out of the savings and I know you wouldn't want that. I'm getting tighter with my money and am selling a chunk of my yugioh collection that isn't special to me. I had too much anyway and it really bothered me how much I've spent on it.
I know you'd say don't do that, but I only want the special stuff, I always should've valued what I had, not what I could get. I realize that now, and that's why I want to thin out.
My exam went well, I was the first one done and asked my teach if she had a coin I could flip for an answer. She basically gave the answer away and I said shit into the microphone by accident, you would have laughed.
Also I've checked your snap story a lot today, mostly whenever it updates. Sorry about that
there's this guy on facebook forcing me to "break up" with him but the problem is we haven't even met yet.
we talked about our future together and few other things and i realize i said some stuff that influenced it but after that i told him many times that it was too soon to do anything definitive and that first we need to see how things would workk in the future. he was the person i felt the closest to but there's just a huge amount of external factors that i hadn't considered before, and i've been realizing that i may not be able to handle this relationship for many personal reasons.
now he's posting on my feed that i should man up and break up but i feel like i said everything there is to say about this. i just don't really understand how any of this is necessary, who knows what could happen when we know each other for real. it's like i have no idea what i'm getting into and i don't want to say anything dumb that would compromise my entire life or something haha
>>16479704
i was waiting too
I saw you checking, it made my day just a little bit better
I love your yugioh collection. I've been looking at my cards.
I wanted to text you yesterday about how I accidentally sat on chocolate and it melted on my ass and I walked all the way to the shower and honestly it looked like poo. you would have laughed so hard
i'm glad your exam went well. everyone on here is going to call us gay
>>16479718
>I wanted to text you yesterday about how I accidentally sat on chocolate and it melted on my ass and I walked all the way to the shower and honestly it looked like poo
lmao
>>16479724
i was so embarrassed
>>16479718
Haha you are a bit of a poopoo Pepe, but I had swamp ass today so I can relate a bit.
My grad school application I'd a bit more complicated than I thought it would be. It adds to the stress, but it's more motivation to have it done. Honestly I'm looking forward to fixing my dad's van and getting a stipend so the bank can shut the fuck up. Christmas shopping is just about done, thank goodness for that
How was the pizza?
i'm an exchange student and I worry as fuck that I'll fail my coursework (essays), it makes me anxious as hell
>>16479732
hahahaha you're such a dink why don't you just text me?
the pizza would have been so much better with chicken.
also you're going to get the application done just fine, you'll feel so much better when it's done
>>16479745
>>16479732
What the fuck are you two doing? Go fucking text or call each other.
[spoiler]I wish I could with that grill[/spoiler]
If you are a wizard, you may look back and wonder who or why. The reason; you didn't seal the deal. It's not about being a man or not, it's about if you were able to do something you wanted to do. If not, then you've failed. If you've never tried, then what is there to worry about? We are all failures, because that is what life asks of the successful. Perhaps you weren't meant to part with your virginity. The way you have become is as it is because of what you have done or not done to allow it. If you wanted something badly enough, you would have obtained it. If you see yourself as being less of a person because of your failure, then so you are. But if you can see where you actually tried, place value in attempts and compliment yourself for that as a person, then so it is you are valid as a person. External things such as sex don't validate you. YOU validate you. So don't continue to beat yourself bloody over your decisions. You are a human being with rights so long as you allow it. A flesh and blood person with a mind, not a soulless hunk of meat to be utilized, unless you want to see yourself that way.
Head up, pants up and soldier on your way no matter where that takes you.
Peace.
>>16479745
Because we need the space, remember? We broke up and stuff, keeping it anonymous makes this clandestine and pseudo romantic, I can't just give that up!
You can't expect me to text you and fall back in the love with the heartbreak!
The constant barrage of anti white, anti male shit in the media over the past few years actually turned me into a hardcore racist and sexist. I became what they told me I was, I embrace it now. Whatever.
>>16479757
I won't expect that.
Get your stuff done. I'll do mine too
>>16479562
I've been complaining in my own threads about problems with jealousy and loneliness and I've always got it's because I have self-esteem issues.
Thing is, I don't know how the fuck I could get over them. I can't really appreciate my successes anymore. I feel like they are nothing. But when I fail I immediately feel that it's a justification of my thought of being a loser.
>>16479782
Do you even /context/ fag?
I didn't mean to piss you off. I did it because I care about you. I don't want to see you throw your life away. I don't want you do end up I jail again. You deserve a life of fun and happiness not sitting in a fucking cell. I did it because I wanted to make sure you were ok. I wanted to be there at your side and help you achieve success in your life. When I met you, you were in school to advance your career. Look where your choices have gotten you now. Do you really want to go down that path? We were so close once. What happened?
But you don't care. You won't talk to me anymore. You wont say why you have stopped talking to me. You wont even say hi. I only have your number still because one day I wish I could look down at my phone and see your face pop up with a message. But I know that will never happen again.
So, I am moving on. I am deleting your number, your email address, your everything. I am done wishing I could talk to you one last time.
Some guy is texting me a DAY after my boyfriend and I broke up and honestly I don't want any part of it but I'm too nice to be like "no you can't have my number"
this sucks
>>16479585
you okay anon?
>>16480102
i've been better. I'm >>16480049
I've been posting a lot in these threads. Break ups suck. I still love him haha
I'm slowly killing you with roach poison. I hope you die under a house during an earthquake and your head bursts into tiny pieces and pops , I hate you , your tiny ass dick ,the 5 minute sex and the fucking lies you've told me since day one. You say I fucked this up yet it was you who first got on tinder trying to fuck other girls because I was a 6.5 that you were trapped with. I fucked another man and it felt great. Your sex was always terrible. You are such a fucking Chad I hate you you fucking Manlet beta piece of shit ... I've met autistic fucking cornballs with more of a fucking backbone than you, for fucks sake I fought an old man with a gun in his hand while you watched him punch me , your fucking 5 ft tall gf fought off a fucking guy with a gun and you still have the nerve to say you fought him off ...I almost died that day , you don't let me make contact with anyone , you think you're immaculate and perfect ,you're just another faggot in denial ... You've always beaten me for the most stupid shit , yet when a man tries to hit on me in public you act like nothing's going on.. You are a disgrace to men , how dare you consider yourself straight. You're a little bitch and I hope you fucking die you fucking piece of trash , you've ruined my life
>>16480049
I'm sorry, fuckboys suck. Especially when you need emotinal support. They are like freaking hyenas.
>>16480127
the guy who is texting me is def a fuckboy. My ex definitely isn't though.
It's complicated, but I think it will work out
Reminder that if you go back to your ex, you're retarded.
>>16480230
tru
>>16480124
>You are such a fucking Chad I hate you you fucking Manlet beta piece of shit
>beta chad
isn't this contradictory
I've been contemplating suicide for the past 4 months. This girl I meet 2 ago has changed it all.
God I fucking hate art appreciation and speech.
It's my fault because I missed important assignments in both, but holy shit. Those grades literally dropped my GPA to a new fucking low.
I'm now on probation and am going to have to take the speech class in summer because of it.
>>16479562
fuck I ate three mcdonalds cheese burgers today and my chest hurt running for the bus! ARGGH!
>>16480258
Nice, anon.
I've met someone too, it's been 2 weeks and I've enjoyed the time with her. She's been doing shit no one else would, just like if she was sending me signals that she liked me. Gonna dedicate "I Want To Hold Your Hand" to her since we both like those fags.
I've spent weeks fixing my resume to near perfection. I deserve better than these fucking employers are treating me.
Also I wish the people who come up with these stupid lolsoquirky~ names for shitty jobs would just die. "hurr durr become an adventure specialist!" no you fucking retard, the position is for a gas station attendant, there is no fucking adventure involved and you aren't fooling anyone.
"hurrrr hiring Super heroes!" you mean hiring underpaid insurance sales people because you have higher turn over than fucking Ihop pancakes.
"Heres a library job a fucking freshman in college can do but we aren't going to talk to you unless you have a masters and five years experience."
GET FUCKING BENT
I am addicted to strippers. I go at least two to four times a month. It's the only source of physical female affection I get. Just recently one gave me an under the shorts hand job. She said that she never ever ever does this for anyone but because I'm a regular and I treat her/other girls well that she doesn't mind. She's cool and funny but... She's an addict (hard drugs and alcohol) and it makes me sad that those are the only type of women who I can make like me sexually. Hell, I don't even know if they like me considering their profession is to lie to make others feel better. I fucking hate myself but I can't stop. I need to get that touch from attractive women.
>>16480298
Whats worse is these shitty baby boomer business owners whining on and on about how "oh kids these days just don't have what we need to employ them! They aren't ~ready~ to be in the work place"
No you fucking cocks, kids today work harder than your wrinkled asses ever had to, you just don't want to spend the money to train them so you blame them and say "they spend too much time on their cellphones!"
Not to mention paying them minimum wage when the job requires over a year of experience and a degree. entitled old bastards
I hate myself for fucking up my life so much and not having the foresight or a sliver of common sense to see it all coming. I'm fucking useless, no desirable skills, personality of a fucking water flea and it's becoming increasingly apparent that my mind has stagnated drastically over the years, to the point where I can barely communicate with others in a meaningful conversation. Constantly misunderstand things and can't even perform simple tasks without having to be bailed out.
Shitty job with no future prospects, useless degree and debt hanging over my head.
I've let everyone I ever cared about down. I hope I just die in my sleep tonight.
im to tired, but i need the cash and the grades
>>16479585
What happened, anon?
Here we go with these stupid "you living??" Messages again. I'm busy. I don't like texting. I hardly look at my messages anyway unless it's important/someone I need to make plans with.
Are we making plans or what? Do I even want to anymore? You really have no clue how to talk to me and you never did. Do I make it easy? I didn't, but I can start spelling it all out for you. What makes me tick, hum, purr... And I can't think of a better way to spend my time than to think about how I'll tell you I'm not into relationships at this time.
I mean, this is getting to a point, but you're not the one for me. Not even close. You say you wanna bang, but then you talk about other chicks, as if trying to make me jealous. Telling me you've got a lot on your mind... Well then fuck off and fuck back on when your mind is clear. I'm sick of wishy washy bull shit.
But I'm bored so maybe I'll let it go.
>>16480295
Good on you too, anon.
I'm glad to see a fellows Beatles-Fag.
>>16480124
>You are such a fucking Chad
Bait?
Please be bait...
Why is a woman using robot lingo?
Bait?
Urgh... Why doesn't she let me hold her baby. I just want to see if I feel something or if I'm father material. I will look her in the eyes and gently bounce her in my hands. I want to make a baby, who wants to help me?
Well, i just found out that 2 of my ex gf became suicide girls models, and feeling shit cause I love one of that bitch like hell
i'm supposed to want you to be happy but i don't
i want you to be fucking miserable with whoever the new guy is and i want you to miss me so much it hurts and call me crying and tell me you made a huge mistake
but i know you wont and i know you probably are happy
i know it's immature but that's how i feel
ive been drinking a lot since you left, i don't know if i can stop
i miss you so much
>>16480356
love of my life broke up with me, I don't know how to be alone anymore
I am not sure if I should be marrying you I worked for months just to afford your christmas gifts and you can not even be bothered to pick out one gift on your own. It really makes me angry I do not want to shop for myself I want something thoughtful I would love if you made me something but you can not be bothered instead you are getting me to pick out my own fucken gifts that I do not want. It feels onesided. Its felt one sided for a while. I can not live without taking care of someone though and you just happen to be that lucky bastard. I can not be indepdent in todays society as much as I love to housing is too expensive for obe person. Sometimes I wish I just die in my sleep so that I would not have this constant stress. I am strong but weak at the same time. I am far too young to be getting married but it is not my choice at this point my parents will be dead in a couple years because of their health problems and then I will be all alone with no friends or capability to make friends.
>>16480446
My life is over before it has even began.
>>16480430
why is this bad.
SGs are supposedly stupid hot and guys fuckin fall over themselves for them. Good for your exs.
>>16479562
My days off seem to always drive me crazy.
I work but I can't afford my place so I've been getting assistance, which I hate because I'm supposed to be independent. My boss helped me pick up some hours but I know it still won't be enough.
So I spend a lot of my free time looking for a better job but I feel like I've hit a dead end. I've probably applied to upwards of 500 jobs now? And I haven't gotten a call back from a single one. I feel like a broken pile of shit. I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy my days off. Like I'm a failure and I'm using the people around me even though I'm trying my hardest but no body wants me. I'm trying not to become bitter and cynical but it's so obvious that it's an employer's market and the greed of businesses is so blatant because they know that for every job they post there will be 100 starving young graduates clawing at the opportunity.
I really just want this job. i want to be independent. I would be the happiest person on the planet if I made just $12/hr and could afford my rent by myself and could afford to take care of my dogs.
>live the life of a rockstar
>can't get a pure girl in the sack because they think I am crazy
>still a virgin just looking for a nice female
>>16480455
yeah but shit for me, cause i cant move on with my feelings
My friends have no hobbies beyond partying.
I always wanted to be considered interesting, and always dreamed of myself as the most interesting person in the room. Now I am, and it's shit. My friends are boring fucks and their definition of a pass time activity is netflix.
You led me on for months thinking we were going to get back together. Told me how much you loved me and that I was the only person that you could depend on because of your flakey friends. I guess after going to your friends wedding you maybe realized I wasnt someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I just feel used and now you haven't talked to me in over a week. Well next time things dont go so well Im not going to be the schlub for you to cry on when it is convenient
Honestly now, I don't know how we kept contact all these years since I've moved out. But you've always been so insistent, always wanting to know whats up. And most of the time ive had to put up a façade just so that you wouldn't have to worry about me. I don't know how I've kept at it all these years but as soon as it became hard to maintain, I've tried to cut it off. Pitiful isn't it. Worrying about practically nothing.
Now it seems that you've moved on, and I've probably became an afterthought. I'll admit, I miss the conversations we used to have, the advice we gave each other, the things we used to share all of it. But because of my ineptitude, because of my selfishness, because of my idiocy, I've lost my one and only best friend, and I kick myself every day because of it.
As I sit here, contemplating my life and all the mistakes I've made, this has got to be one of the biggest fuckups I've committed. I don't know what to do anymore. My future is nothing but a fog. Depression is slowly creeping up on me like mold on an old loaf of bread. Im at the cross roads of whether or not I should continue this pitiful existence of mine.
I only wish I was down there in miami to be with you. (no homo bro lol). I do want to spend one more time with you before I consider ending it, should it come down to it. But I just don't know anymore, I just don't.
Tldr: im sorry for the way I've treated you, taking you for granted, for thinking you as a nuisance sometimes. Now I got nobody.
I don't see the point in life right now. Everything feels distant. I could keep going and get a degree, but what then? What am I to do with money if I don't enjoy things as much as others? I don't watch TV or go out. What is the point of it all?
The modern world seems so fake, as if it were going to collapse because it's all bent out of shape. I don't mean to advocate going back to some sort of neolithic village type, but the world as it is now seems so unnatural and void of meaning that I have a hard time accepting it.
>>16479562
You know I don't want certain things. You do them anyway. You just seem to be mocking me at this point. I wonder if that was your goal all along. Either way, it doesn't matter, because if I go along with it and giving you what you want, I have just taught you mistreating me is ok. Yes, oh yes, so dramatic! You love drama don't you, it makes you feel alive! How dead inside are you really? What do you think this is? A tv-show? Am I in your mind an actor in your twisted little reality or something? How crazy are you really? I keep asking myself this question more and more as of lately. And no, I'm not projecting, I'm talking about you, for the world to behold and enjoy. If you claim otherwise, you're gaslighting me. Look it up, you might learn a thing or two. It's all so great, ain't it guys? If you think it is, you're just as fucked up as her. Maybe YOU should date her. And I'm being called the crazy one for pointing out the obvious? Yea, so dramatic, I know. I take this life seriously, this life right here and now. Maybe you should try it one day. If you ridicule this, you ridicule yourself and ultimately life itself. In that case, I ask you: what are you still doing here? Why haven't you killed yourself yet? You obviously don't care about this life, so why don't you just end it? In a sense, you are a disgrace to this very life, to your own existence! Think about that for a second! No, you didn't look at it like that before, didn't you. No shit, of course you haven't, otherwise you wouldn;t be acting the way you are, now would you. Little shit. It's ridiculous you even need to be "taught" these things. What are you, a fucking infant? Infants don't need relationships. They need to grow up. I'll give you what you wanted all along: exactly nothing. I hope you're happy. This is the last post I'll make about you on this board. Have a nice life.
My cousin called me yesterday.
We had a nice little chat. She is going to a music performance today, where she will play her instrument, and it was pretty clear she was rather nervous about it. I tried to encourage her, wished her best of luck, and told her that she could call me any time she wants.
I love her so much.
>>16480812
Fucking child diddler I hope you rot in hell
>>16480797
>gaslighting
That sounds macabre
>>16480825
I have never diddled any children, nor do I desire to do so.
Also
>believing in hell.
>>16480832
But you fap to the thought of it, fucking pedophile.
I love her and she doesn't love me back in the same way. She loves him and he doesnt love her back in the same way.
I want to help her, but I can't even help myself.
>>16480837
No I don't.
i dont know why i wont do it but its almost like i cant choose between them even though i dont have to i feel obligated to favor one over the other and i dont wanna ruin my relationship with either because im already trying so hard as it is
I have chest pain, I really hope it isn't a heart attack
>>16480844
Posted it yourself.
It's petty, but it has been bothering me for years. Fucking years.
How come every time you look up something on youtube there's like 2 English videos and thousands of German videos. What the fuck?
I like video games. I eat up everything gaming related on youtube, so when I try to look up a guide, gameplay footage or anything all I see are fucking German videos. Why is there no feature to block all German content? These nazi fucks use English titles for their videos so there's no way to avoid them.
Even if I get really frustrated and just search for something like ''overwatch gameplay footage ENGLISH FUCKING ENGLISH'' the top result is ''Americans Try German Food For The First Time''. What is this nightmare?
>>16480860
I posted that I once, tried to fap after being aroused by one of the girls basically grinding against me, but stopped because I got disgusted with myself.
But whatever, you won't believe me anyways, seeing how you have your mind already made up about me.
>>16480797
>not projecting
>whole post is a projection
wat
This is exactly why despise you taking pictures of me. You always use it against me and mock me behind my back.
I honestly didn't want to leave you.. But it was for the best really.. We barely even talked.. And we only knew each other for about 2 months and I still feel achy about it all. But at least its off my chest. You were a cool person, and I wouldn't mind talking again. I couldn't talk to you regularly anymore is the reason why I removed you..
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fuck shit up. I was so afraid to lose a person I looked up to that I ensured it would happen. I wish you would talk to me in person. I realize my mistakes and want to apologize in person. You deserve that much. After that, if you never want to talk to me again, I'll understand. I cared too much and for that I am truely sorry. I fucked shit up and I don't deserve a second chance but I can't help but ask. You changed my life in a good way and I will never forget you.
>>16480812
cousin fapper why??
>>16480921
Why what?
Also, I do not fap to my cousins.
>>16480899
this is what I fear one of my friends is doing when she demands selfies. I fucking hate taking pictures and she always insists.
but thats not what you told us before cousin fapper senpai why r u gaslighting us :(
>>16480926
What have I supposedly told different before?
>>16480956
Damn what happened here
>>16480956
Jesus, this sounds bad
I feel like I'm an useless piece of shit. First of all, I don't work, I just study. I want to work, but there's no place where they could receive me.
>>16479562
Dear I
Fuck you, indecisive leech
Dear S
Fuck you to hell you quite literal whore
Dear (other) I
You're alright. Thanks for being patient with me and my shyness.
Love A
I don't know if I'm an undiagnosed autistic or just plain dense, but I can't seem to be able to properly socialize or even be any sort of likable at all, no matter how much I try. I should just give up already.
My rapist was more exciting than you in bed.
Now that we are somewhat approaching a year, since you ended it, I am beginning to accept that you will never contact me.
I suppose I thought time, seeing the change, etc... may put that connection we shared into perspective, that everything we had wanted was still possible, and you would reach out. Well, either that, or you would have a few drinks, and want to hear my voice. I know neither will happen, but still.
It is... depressing, to think that my lips will not be on yours to start a new year, or ever again, for that matter.
>>16480956
>>16481018
>>16481127
This underageb& samefag is so obvious that it literally made me cringe.
Step it up, kid.
Tell us your story though, as it is apparent how badly you wish to.
Over the last year, I've known one person personally, who I see as my best friend, even if I'm not very outgoing. He's always down to chill, and gives me good advice on snowboarding equipment. I've worked with him and lived with him.
But now he's possibly getting kicked out of the employee housing we are both in, and losing his job, so I'll hardly see him.
I'm afraid of it, we're getting 95% new workers, it's been a year and he's been the only one I've seen consistently. He's my best friend and I've never had a lot of friends and now I'm losing him, and my new roommates are nice but I still don't really feel comfortable around them, and he's usually around too.
And I don't know how normal people keep up friendships like this. I don't have a car since we lived in a small town and could walk anywhere, but I won't be able to walk to his place.
I'd even move him with him, since the other guy is my friend too, but I don't want to ask because I'm afraid it'll sound weird, plus I don't know how many rooms are available.
It feels like the comfortable life is being shattered one by one as I get new Co workers while steadily losing my pillars of support, one of which died, the other being my first roommate who's in a different state.
I'm afraid of change, I don't like this, I'm not ready for this. I don't want to lose my best friend, I know I'm not his best friend but still, he's been helping me open up, I knew it was coming but I thought I had another half year
I'm not just trying to make this about me though, I really do feel bad for him. It's a raw deal.
>>16480923
You did fap to your cousins, whether or not you finished is irrelevant; therefore you are, indeed, COUSIN-FAPPER.
>>16479562
I'm pissed at the fact that /adv/ is only good for relationship advice.
Like, say I to ask for STEM careers advice. The mods are cracking down on them here on /sci/. /biz/ is only appropriate for financial work and those threads get ignored (mostly) but /adv/, the recommended board for it is shit - at any given time on that board there's only one careers thread, and it dies fast due to being buried by relationship shit... often with at most 10 replies.
What do?
Guys fapping isnt a crime.. yet
My life fucking sucks.
Have a gf, but am completely lonely, unloved and unrespected.
>>16481437
Depression is a bastard. Just don't let it get between you and your girl, I see personal mental shit do that to relationships all the time
>>16481442
She is the only person I have and she makes me feel unloved and unrespected that's why its fucking pain.
Wow..... I really never had a chance, did I? You've never asked anything about me. FUCK I'M DELUSIONAL.
>>16481443
Okay, wait, then leave her. And then you'll feel so much relief. Just gotta rip it off like a band aid. If you've spoken to her about this seriously and she refused to change, then that's on her.
I won't be some kind of slob nonworker all life long, honey! I WANT TO MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS I CAN SO THAT I CAN SUPPORT A FUTURE FAMILY. YOU SAY YOU DON'T WANT A FAMILY, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I'M GONNA HOARD MONEY UNTIL I DIE!!! AND THEN DO WITH IT AS YOU SEE FIT. I'm not doing this to "pick up bitches", that money won't be touched until I'm 6 feet under. You want to make money too, that's fine, it can be your personal money. But I'm gonna be making a shitload of dosh and fuck everyone who tells me to be a fucking commie!
Seriously.
I am entangled in a perpetual struggle to break the ice. Tomrrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. My subconscious prententiousness exploits my fraudulent hypocricy. Oh the never edning irony... I am overcome with bottled rage that emerged only when my fear of judgment submerges away. My anger is at the world and its inhabitants. But my cowardice to speak my mind to those who deserve it consequently makes those who I love suffer. My brother. My permanent facade has demolished any sense of cognitive reality. Who am I The spontaneous flamboyant of my earlier years or the recluse who avoids all doors for ocnversation and jumping out of my poisonous comfort zone. "Just be yourself" my sister said in the remnants of another world. " The key to happiness" she said it brought. Being myself would mean bursting my bubble, breaking down my seemingly invincible wall. My comfort zone feels more like a comfort home. Oh how I long to liberate myself from my monotony. That'll be the day. There is still an issue that is so deeply buried within me that I cannot put it to paper. The origins of my tendencies. It is not fair on him, he is who he is - the most selfless man to walk this earth. I do not want to ever have my destinty predetermined. What purpose would there be to life? What needs to happen for me to break the cylce? Catastrophe? Biblical miracles? Or is it how the virtous say. Life is perception. IT is a blank piece of paper that your mind paints to life.
>>16481465 Walter White, that you?
FUCKING BUMP
I kinda want to die, but have no real reason to, plus if I think about it to much, the thought scares me. I like to say that I can enjoy life without others, but I can only be completely happy while in a relationship, suggesting the opposite of my previous statement. I used to be be able to ignore it, since I had interests, but none of my interests are interesting to me anymore, hence I'm perpetually bored as well. I often think that there must be many things wrong with me, but because I'm not too bad off in life, that doesn't make sense to me and I quickly change my thoughts. My only way to describe my personality, in my eyes, is the word "blank." I am nothing, and yet I find that where I'm at (physically and mentally), right now, is like poison to me, which doesn't make sense, you can't poison nothing. I hate being "blank" but the only thing I ever want to be is asleep, during which nothing happens and I'm truly "blank." I guess I really do wanna die.
Raised like cattle, die like cattle.
>>16481476
Fuck you, I'm not WW. But I kind of share something with him.
I learned about hoarding from my dad, who, according to my mother, "always has money on hand, steel reserves which are not to be touched until needed dearly." I see this as my ultimate goal in life, to make as much money as I need to support my family. I actually plan on going through the maths same way Walther did (I just didn't remember it until now). However, my occupation is strictly legal. I can make 250$ for 8 hours of work if I want to (give or take). And that's working dirt cheap to beat the competition. I can't work like that everyday, however, so my main pay comes from translation. That's all about how much I charge, the typical fee is 10$/1500 characters (no spaces). That can take from 30 minutes to 1 hour to make. I currently have 2 emplyoers, nothing difficult, the jobs don't overlap much. But my GF doesn't appreciate that I want to make mad dosh. She's afraid I'll turn into a workaholic or lure bitches with my mad $$$. I just want to hoard like a fucking viking. But everytime we talk about it, she just gets mad. Why?
i fight with my girlfriend everyday ;_;
>>16480812
Cousin-fapper strikes again.
I wonder if the kids will ever realise he was in love with then and get creeped out... I'm willing to bet that will happen sooner or later and they'll write on tumblr that they were molested by their weird cousin
I know you're doing it for me because I'm too weak to do it. You could have done it a bit sooner though. Or were you just using me?
>>16481600
At least you're passionate enough to fight.
>>16481457
I got the same problem, only on a smaller scale
>>16481600
BODYSLAM
O
D
Y
S
L
A
M
How do I stop being such a human hating faggot?
If I think those worst days, those worst dreams were the beginning, I've come quite far.
What do you do when people constantly treat you dismissively when talking to them earnestly? Short of punching them in the face I mean.
>Older brother gets angry because of a discussion between me, him and my dad about which city a hospital is.
He gets angry for the most simplest and smallest things. He is fuckin 24 years old.
He is like a little child. He thinks everything he says is the truth. I fuckin hate it. My parents don't do anything about it.
>>16481720
No one takes me seriously either. There isn't much you can do short of looking like a whingy bitch.
Just punch them in the face.
>>16481725
What do you want them to do? He's 24, not 14. Blame him not them.
I feel bad that i'm not working right now. I desperately want to be in love, but only because it's fun
>>16481763
That's the best reason to be in love.
>be male
I'd like to try sucking a dick, but I'm not into men.
I'm laying in your bed but when I leave I'll feel empty again.
It's so strange how we can be so connected and yet...
>>16481621
Except I haven't molested them.
I'm scared of fucking this up again, I finally found another girl that enjoys the dumb shit I say like my ex did
I never had someone say "you are amazing" to me with such a strong feeling like she did, my heart melted so hard, that whenever she talks to me without giving me this kind of attention, I get scared that I'm losing her
I don't want to fuck this up again... She's makes me feel so good, but whenever a girl shows this kind of attraction to me, I get obessive and screw everything up... And if I contain myself to not be desperate, the girl thinks I don't care about her and goes away... It's just been a few days and it already reached the point where it starts to hurt me if she acts like a normal person instead of a teenager in love
Why is this shit so complicated FUCK, I can't fuck this one up
It's been like this for far too long, you say that's it's nothing that I did but it's you. So you say you need space, on the day of my birthday you tell me that you need space?! You knew how bad this day was for me every year and this is what happens. We are going on to week three of this "need space" phase and it seems like bending to your request of us movin in together was a terrible idea if this what it has gotten us. I've given you my everything you and your daughter, if you hurt me again then I never want to see you again. I'm out
>>16481338
That implies that it is an activity I partake often in, which is completely untrue.
>>16481621
Also, I told them last Christmas that I love them.
I walked all the way home and didn't cry once. I am home and I'm still not crying.
Space will be good for me too.
>>16481873
I meant when they realised you loved them in a creepy romantic way.
Just imagine, in 7-10 years threads on /adv/:
Hey guys, when I was a kid there was this cousin who got very close to me and my sister and now when I think about it it seems like he loved us a bit too much...
>>16481864
They'll prolly assume you groomed them, and analyse your unnatural attachment and decide you violated them anyway
>>16481872
Hey anon, have a hug.
>>16481873
"A man can build a thousand bridges, suck one cock, and he isn't remembered as a bridge builder, but as a cock sucker."
The amount of fapping does not matter, COUSIN-FAPPER. Accept this.
>>16481920
At which point someone will show them the archives... Maybe they can decide if the fapping is a big thing?
And this is likely to occur in the next few years, if it does happen.
My mother makes me feel bad since I already made her waste more than 3k. Time to abandon my dreams and that girl, and start working like a bitch.
>>16480433
it'll get better anon
Have any of you, with depression, used anti-depressants?
>>16482127
I've tried most. Some sent me worse, but I'm on a good one now. Why?
I think the biggest trigger for my depression is feeling like I never had a "first love".
>>16482133
Just thinking if I should give into the norm way of keeping with these crushing feelings.
>>16481928
Those are some mighty big assumptions you are making about my cousins.
>>16482144
Worth a try
Your wishes for me to be an adult seem to be paying off. You have awoken a woman in me. But now that woman can see you for who you actually are. Your arrogance has blinded you to think you're smarter than me. You miserable little worm, trying to bite me, of all people.
I know you're reading this, fucker, so be on guard, you pompous bastard. That woman you longed for is coming for you.
Let me out, let me out. This is not a dance! xD
I feel like a dumbass, like I'm awful at my job, but people keep telling me I'm doing a great job. This is putting a lot of stress on me, and I'm afraid that someone's gonna find out the truth, that I'm a big fuckup. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared.
I wish you had the balls to tell me the truth instead of just stringing me along. I though you were better than that. You used your alcohol treatments to push me away while you found someone else. We had a relationship based off for honesty and trust for the last 8 months. I thought you were better than this. There were parts whee I thought you genuinely cared
I guess I was wrong.
Someone/ anyone please make a
>write a letter thread.
I would but fuck having that responsibility so please someone else did it.
>thank you
>>16482499
There you go.
>>>16482529
>>16480308
me too anon!
>>16481255
Initials? Maybe story?
>>16481837
Oh, boy, have I got news for you...
>>16482182
Not really.
As they grow into adults, and mature, they will realize they do not have a typical familial relationship that the vast majority of cousins share. Factor in that you have no friends, relationships, etc... and you may as well be endorsing Subway.
If you're overweight, do not dress well, or suffer from poor hygiene, it will only reinforce the perception that you are, indeed, grooming them.
Your mother has noticed this odd relationship, and commented, already. Your cousin's parents will have similar thoughts, and they will inevitably ask if Uncle Cousinfapper has touched them, etc... and disapprove of the relationship at some point. These talks, in conjunction with everything I have already mentioned, will influence their opinion of you.
What would you do if your mother, or their parents, refused to let you see, or talk to them? What if your cousins told you they no longer want anything to do with you?
>>16479562
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0WFhdvFfWC0
I want to be happy with what I have.
I have so much and I'm still unhappy.
I have a well paying job, insurance, I don't starve myself, got a home, got a paid-off car, and I'm not living paycheck to paycheck.
I still feel dead inside.
Yes I'm an ungrateful & selfish prick.
>>16480118
I know the feeling my gf just broke up with me and it's been extremely rough for me and I don't know what to do with myself
>>16479782
no you were just always that person
>>16481837
dick girls is where it's at.
>>16482785
Unfortunately it takes time to remember who you were when you didn't have anyone.
It sucks now but it will feel better some day
>>16482661
>What would you do if your mother, or their parents, refused to let you see, or talk to them? What if your cousins told you they no longer want anything to do with you?
I'd be sad of course, and would like to hear their reasoning, but in the end, I would accept it.
Though, that is a very unlikely scenario. I am in good terms with my aunt and her husband, and they got no reason to think that my relationship with my cousins is somehow inappropriate.
My cousins themselves will no doubt eventually get to the point where they no longer want to spend as much time with me as they want these days, but that's just life. That is why I wish to spend and cherish the time I get to spend with the girls.
And since when is spending time together, and sharing mutual affection, been "grooming"?
>>16482236
Storytime pls
Eight years since I last had a girlfriend or sex. Being a child of abuse, I'm extremely reluctant to become attached or open up to anyone. Each heartbreak caused me to retreat from any human interaction for months. Each time I got close to a person the pain was worse.
Love is wonderful but not worth the risk. I don't know if I'll ever be able to truly love anyone and that hurts. I have a big heart but I'm so afraid.
>>16479562
I've loved you for 3 years and I've never told you.
Your affection determines my motivation, I love you beyond belief.
>>16482236
Do it, bitch. I'm waiting.
>>16482236
Initials?
I stabbed myself in the wrist (accident) thanks to my own carelessness (common).
I could've lied and told the nurse at ER it was a suicide attempt so I could get in with a psych quick. But I decided it was too tedious to stay overnight in the hospital over it.
Now I have to wait til something happens again. What a waste of time getting into our mental health system is.
>>16479653
Talk to me til you get over it, Anon
I'll be your senpai
my boyfriend has been depressed recently, and his sex drive has dropped almost completely. i'm a very physical person, so i feel sad and unattractive when the person i love has no desire to have sex. i'll bring it up occasionally, but i don't want to push it, because i don't want to make him uncomfortable or think that i only love him for his dick.
i don't know what to do to cheer him up. i've been making him meals, buying him food/beer, and inviting his friends over when he's free. he never wants to talk about it, and gets upset when i bring it up, so i stopped.
i want to help him, but i also don't want to smother him at the same time. i hate to see him like this, and i hate feeling like this.
Is it bad that I regret not offing myself two years ago by cutting my wrist and bleeding to death while sleeping next to my gf(ex) that just broke up with me and asked if she could still stay the night? I would of been able to die next to the woman I loved more than anything else in the world, not imagine her tainted by another man, and pass away in peace. The last two years have been hell. I was bullied trough grades 4-9 and had no friends, and that was much easier than the last two years. She was my best friend besides being the love of my life. We talked about things every day for hours to no end. We were together for only 4 years, which is a small time in total, but still, Ive never been as happy as I was with her. But then she was gone. I had no one to talk to like that anymore. I felt alone. The thought of her with someone else feels like someone pins me to the wall with a harpoon gun trough the chest. I feel paralyzed. Ive had nightmares every day for two years. Im so tired, exhausted, sad. The degree I sacrificed living together with her is not paying off so far. I would of been better off working low wage and staying with her. My mind is full of regret. I feel I killed my own children by changing the future so that they wont even exist. I feel delusional towards the reality.
So tired... So very tired... Yet I dont want to off myself feeling like this... I want to be happy... Then I can go in peace...
>>16483299
Communicate, homegirl. Not every conversation can be a fun one.
Damn, got back from a drink with a girl I've been speaking to a bit in my classes and I guess it didn't go as well as it could have. I mean, we talked a lot but we didn't really have much in common or kinda click. I suggested doing it again sometime after walking her back (thinking it might be a bit more relaxed a second time) and she said she'd like to but I'm not sure if she was being completely honest or not. I don't really know how to feel about it. I kinda like her so far and would like to see where it'll go, but on the other hand, I kinda don't care so much. It's a weird feeling to say the least.
>>16483355
i've been trying though... when we talk about sex, he tells me that he's just been sad and hasn't been motivated or wanting to do anything recently.. when i bring up his being sad and what i can do to help, he just asks if we can drop it.
it sucks that he's so down. he's normally a happy, energetic person. all that he's been doing is going to work, sleeping, and eating. i feel like he's in a rut, and i want to help him get out of it. i feel useless.
I believe, sincerely, that I have fallen out of love with you. Being LDR for 2 years is bad enough, but there is no end date in sight. It could be 4,5 years for all I know. You don't seem to have any idea which direction you are heading in and I'm a little tired of that.
You know the two breakups we had? I told you "I was not good enough for you"? And that it was just the distance? Not completely honest. I cheated on you. Multiple times. The first time it happened, I was devastated. Broke up immediately, but then when we met again my heart broke when I saw what was left of you. I got back to you out of pity. I cheated again that year.
When we broke up this time, I'd been cheating again. You called everyday and told me we could be together and how it could all work out and how we could have so much fun and what not that I gave in when we hooked up again when I met you. I cannot bring myself to see you sad at all. The complete sadness you seem to enter every time this happens breaks my heart. And I fall into the trap of saying "yes" again.
If all was well, I would happily hide the fact that I cheated and keep you happy with me, forever. Yet that seems hard. There seems to be no way you will come meet me. You can't convince your family to not be dicks. I'm tired of spending the thousands of dollars I have so far.
Literally if you didn't turn into a complete wreck every single time I tried to end it, I'd let you go. We were young and stupid when we got together. But it is folly to believe that we are the "one" for each other. There are other people we can be as happy with. We got together since we sat next to each other in high school and you were next to me.
You love me more than I do. It's understandable, since you don't know all the facts. Every breakup I just said it was the distance, not that I was falling out of love. Not the cheating. Not your absolute lack of drive or ambition.
This is a ghost of a relationship and we both deserve better.
you're a really good friend, to the both of us. you show me reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place, and you keep me up to date with our work place. I like how every day of the week you have messaged me, and sometimes I wonder why you're doing it. is it because you want more with me? or are there innocent intentions, like that you know I'm a lonely person. or perhaps... you want me to spill the dirt on her? maybe I'm over thinking it. you probably need a pal right now, and I'm here for you. you're going through a scary time. and I promise that I'll show you the same tenderness that you have for everyone else. you have a heart of gold, senpai.
I fucking hate my dad so much but without him supporting me financially I'd be unable to finish college.
>>16483558
why do you hate him
>>16483633
He made my life miserable for years by demanding joint custody after him and my mom broke up, even though I was telling him the whole time I didn't want to spend half my time with him. When I was at his house I was just left to rot in front of a tv screen in an otherwise empty bedroom, got fat as fuck. Never got to see my friends like other children, school performance dropped significantly because I was so fucking disorganized from going between the two houses all the time.
As soon as he got a new girlfriend I moved to the bottom of his priorities. When my mom had money problems and had to move house a bunch of times within a year he wasnt interested in me living there so I could get to and from school easily. His girlfriend was as much of a cunt as he is, she used to tell me I wasn't wanted there and use any excuse to shout at me and if I complained she would just him that I was agressive towards her.
Seeing as the court papers say that he had joint custody, applying for student loans available to students with single parents isn't possible, so I'm stuck in this situation.
i wish you would text me. i'm wearing your old high school shirt.
i'm still longing for you
I adore the fuck out of this girl. We both go to frisbee practice (ultimate frisbee, its a legit sport at uni look that shit up) and thats the only time I see her other than at socials.
Im such a pussy. My whole experience with women has only been hookups, Ive never had a relationship, I dunno how to do it.
It makes me feel shitty because when I think about her I just wanna be with her all the time, and I think she COULD like me back in that way, shes just completely asexual and super shy in terms of relationships.
I just wanna cuddle with her and spend time with her. Everything about her makes my heart ache with how nice she is.
And I just cant figure out how to hang with her and chat with her in a way that forces us to spend time together outside of a competitve sporty environment
Ergh I sound like such an emotional obsessive pussy but I mean it when I say I love her so much. And typing that feels kinds freaky because Ive never loved anyone before.
Weird shit
>>16480812
fuck the haters, I'm glad someone on this board is happy.
glad you got to hear from her today.
>>16483761
Dont confuse infatuation with love
>>16483769
Even when it's cousinlover who wanks to his cousins and is in love with them romantically?
>>16482849
seriously this
Introspection only leads to insanity, I cant believe its taken me this fucking long to figure it out, 3 years, wasted trying to find out who the fuck I am when it was right in front of me the entire fucking time. I was like a fucking dog chasing a slab of meat dangling from a fishing line right in front of my face. Insecurity is a thing you choose to put yourself through, you dont have to give a shit what people think about you, I used to know this, I used to practice this every fucking day and I made some of the best friends I will ever have, and then something changed, I started giving a shit and thats when it all went out the window. I kept trying to pursue an ideal identity, I was chasing after a person I wanted to be instead of just being the person ive always been. I have full control of my life, I can do whatever the fuck I want, and if someone thinks its weird or doesnt agree they can fuck themselves into a fucking hole. Im happy again and its going to stay this way this time.
>>16483790
initials?
>>16483784
first of all, there's different kinds of love.
Friend love, familial love, and eros, which of course is 'being lovers'.
yes, he did admit touching himself inappropriately to his cousins but he realized it was wrong and hasn't done it again. Lets face it, the mind comes up with some twisted scenarios and if you're so used to jacking it, you just do it out of habit before you're like "what the fuck am I doing" and stop.
Nothing more, nothing less. You all are blowing it out of proportion to have someone to shit on because you wizard faggots can't get out there and talk to a goddamn girl.
>19 Years old right now
>3 years ago in the summer
>16 years old
>meet this girl
>year younger than me
>She's amazing
>her mom and brother hate me
>When I was 14 I was dumb and hit her brother in the face
>they make us break up
>summer goes by with us secretly talking and them not knowing
>they catch on right before school starts again
>she gets in a lot of trouble
>brother tells the school we're not allowed to be in contact with each other
>junior and senior year don't talk to her at all
>freshman year of college
>her 18th bday hits in May
>message her on FB asking if we can just talk about everything that happened
>we become friends
>end up making out in her car when we hang out
>goes for a few weeks
>she tells her mom and brother after a while that we're talking
>not that we've made out
>they initially say it's fine
>she's going to meet me that same day
>mom stops her and tells her she can't see me
>mom says she thinks I'll take her to some place secluded and rape her
>even though when we made out we were in a secluded place
>shit happens and she tells me after a month or so in June that all this stress and everything made her realize that she dosen't have feelings for me
>tell her I need some space
>don't really know how to deal with that
>eventually October comes along
>get a gf
>it lasts for all of 4 days
>but in that span I contact her again
>figure I have a gf, I'll be fine.
>after my gf breaks up with me, talk with the other girl
>a while passes by
>eventually just tell this girl that I still love her and that we're meant to be together
>tell her that it's destiny
>that if we just give it a shot, it'll be the best decision ever
>tell her that I can imagine us together 60 years from now
>she says that she still doesn't have feelings for me and it's not worth it
>she says she doesn't want to date me
I totally know that I'm meant to be with the girl. She's the one. I know she's the one. But she doesn't think so. I just don't know what to do.
(1/?)
I've recently become sexually hung up on a friend I've been quietly lusting after for two and a half years, and it's been obviously mutual the entire time. He's been in a relationship the entire time I've known him and it's never gone past flirting until Halloween when we were in the process of starting to fuck when a friend walked in on us. I'm trying really hard to not ask him "so hey can we just get this out of the way?" because I feel like a bad person but we were already pretty much at that point and I'm just pissed off and horny. I don't want him romantically in any way and I don't know if that's worse.
>>16483815
I know I can't force her to have the same feelings for me, but it's still hard because I don't know what to do. A bit after this she explained to me it was a bunch of stuff. One of the reasons she pointed out was my PDD which is a disorder I have. She told me it's a form of autism and it is, but I've been diagnosed by a professional and I don't have autism. She told me that my interests were kiddish and I remind her of a little kid all the time. She didn't tell me any other reasons, but she made such a big deal about those. She messaged me a day later telling me it's best if we don't talk again and that she told me to not talk to her ever. Even though she also told me that she was gonna focus on her rent and school and her mom. she has another boyfriend and he literally looks like he has fucking down syndrome. Yet, I was a fucking problem. She's also so much more attractive than this guy. I am so pissed. I am fuming. My shit is a problem, but then she starts dating this fucking ugly shit head. I've been fuming and it pisses me off to no end. I need to get my mind off her but I don't know how to. It just really fucking gets to me.
(2/2)
>>16483811
He has a serious obsession going on, and given the fact that he's been posting about those girls for 2-3 years now it's pretty disturbing.
An adult man who admits to be in love with 12y/o relatives, that's pretty disturbing too.
The fact that he refuses to get a real life and instead focuses on his cousins, it's not normal nor healthy.
I'm not a wizard, I'm a normal person, and I know plenty of people who were molested by their family members, and some of the cases started alike; an uncle who would always get very exited upon seeing them, buying the best, well thought gifts, hugging and kissing and then doing things you simply don't do. Some of the molesters stop in the middle and retreat, feel immense guilt afterwards... But what is done is done.
JAKE EVERYBODY IN OUR BUILDING HATES YOUR FUCKING GUTS WHEN YOU PRACTICE TROMBONE WITHOUT A MUTE, WHICH YOU DO ALLLL THE TIME NOW. SERIOUSLY NIGGA HOW CAN YOU NOT REALIZE HOW LOUD YOU ARE. AND EVEN WHEN SOMEONE POLITELY ASKS YOU TO USE A MUTE OR PRACTICE ANOTHER TIME, YOU GET SUPER DEFENSIVE. THEY HAVE A PLACE ON CAMPUS THAT'S LESS THAN A FIVE MINUTE BIKE RIDE AWAY SPECIFICALLY SOUND PROOFED FOR MUSIC NERDS TO PRACTICE AS LOUD AS THEY WANT. FUUUUCCKK I HATE TROMBONES
>>16483780
Then please enlighten me as to what love is. Because I've been infatuated many times before and this feels different.
Is it the fact that Im a little afraid that shes so nice that if we did date we might get on so well together that we'd break up? Maybe.
Love doesnt exist m80, its a hallmark card promotion invented to make money on valentines day.
>>16483864
>Love doesnt exist m80, its a hallmark card promotion invented to make money on valentines day.
You answered your own fucking question...
>>16483864
That we'd never break up*
The point of that sentence was 'We'd get on so well that we'd stay together permanently and of course thats a little scary for people that have never had a proper relationship"
>>16483871
>Question
I dont rememeber asking one. I was just asking for that anon's definition of love.
Getting in a relationship was one of the worse choices I ever made, I like her but I love being single and being free, having time to myself and hanging out with whoever the fuck I wanted to. If you're young and single don't think a relationship will make anything better its literally just a pain in the ass most of the time. Sex is nice but free time is better
>>16483880
Seriously what is being single and what is being attached. They're just labels you attach to yourself because society wants you to.
If you want your independence tell your significant other that and go your own way.
If you want a companion then get one
Why all the complication
http://b.1339.cf/dzcwyjz.mp3
My ex lives with me and she still loves me but im really liking another girl
I was forced to live with someone I hate. She antagonizes me.
If it wasn't illegal. I would murder her.
I love him, but I think he's liking other girl ;^(
literally everything reminds me of you i am listening to fergie and i'm thinking of you
>>16483951
Initials?
>>16479562
I'm scared and glad that your harpy mom is forcing you to move back home when the lease ends and you'll have limited contact with me from now on. When I discovered you'd been cheating for years I found out way too late, i was too bonded and held down and scared to leave, now my chance is finally here.
Also i found out i can now stay a whole month being treated well, bonding with my sister i never see, playing with my family's new puppy and taking care of myself. Or stay here with you with your bitching and moaning and lack of cleaning up and manchild ness. I love when you smack me and grab my arm so hard it leaves bruises when i try to wake you up before 3pm everyday. And then twist it to make it my fault for "trying to wake you up/ I dont remember i was asleep". Fuck you I hate you so much.
Yeah my parents have left me at 17 all alone in a country and made me dependent on you, yeah they are just as bad as you with emotional abuse. but weirdly right now, theyre the wiser choice now seeing what youve done and become.
Why is it still so hard to leave for a month stay with them and leave you alone then?
Let the records show, I took the blow and did it my way.
I didn't do a paper because I picked a bad subject and waited until the last minute to do it and now I feel terrible.
I don't even like this class, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be switching majors very soon.
It's been two fucking years and I can't get over him. This is killing me. Before him, I never even believed in soulmates or anything. I was so happy.
Now I think about him every fucking day, and at least once a month I completely dissociate and begin having really dark thoughts. I feel like I lost my soulmate and fucked up my one chance to be happy. I don't understand why he won't talk to me. Did he never even love me at all? Am I just a bad memory to him?
It's getting bad. I'm really afraid that this is going to be the rest of my life. That at least once a day I will have to hold myself back from plummeting headlong into complete despair because of him. It's been two years, why can't I just forget him? Why can't I just stop thinking about him?
I fucking regret meeting him. He was all I ever really wanted and he completely abandoned me.
>>16484167
Daily activities.
i see you on facebook so often. i can't tell if it's more often than usual. i wish i could tell whether or not you're waiting for me to message you. i keep waiting for you to message me.
i should just go to bed
>>16484220
Just message me, I'll respond
Do you think synchronicities are real? that coincidences are more than just that? I was always a skeptic but for some reason things lined up in a way that allowed me to get to this certain place.
Except where everyone else says they're meant to be healing and wonderful, these just drove me into the ground.
I have an obsession that should never have existed. And when I saw that it was coming to town, my town, of all the places in the US, I thought "well it won't get worse, it won't matter because I won't be able to go anyways"
Except where I would have paid $40, I got in for free. And instead of having to leave early, the times adjusted just so that I could go. And I went because I figured I could handle it
what was the point? why these series of coincidences just to indulge in bad habits? I tried to ride this wave, and be spontaneous, be OPTIMISTIC. But I don't feel any better. I feel sick. and inadequate.
I feel hopeless. i'm a parasite on everyone around me and no matter what I do no one will give me the opportunity to make my own way. So I tried to have fun for once and it only further grounded me in this reality that I'm not going anywhere, ever maybe.
>>16484225
not before initials
>>16484235
Second name starts with D
>>16484240
nope
>>16484242
Damn, I thought you're my D
Stop playing games on a get it off your chest thread and talk to who you want to talk to.
>>16484251
?? i'm D?
>>16484255
You gotta have courage for that
Should I text her /adv/, we haven't talked in 4 months
>>16479562
I secretly hate that my best best is stealing all my other friends away from me
>>16484227
I feel so lonely...there's always people around me and yet I don't feel loved. Everyone has these weird ass expectations of me. My dad wants me to join the military, which would mean I have to give up my dogs which makes me want to die and I have no family to care for them. My mom wants me to move in with her but that means moving back to a shitty black hole of a desert town where I'm still not guaranteed a job. I have no real friends. I live alone. my ex wants nothing to do with me which should be fine because we wouldn't work out in the long run, but I'm still so lonely. I'm too poor to do anything, and today was supposed to be my chance to have fun and indulge myself and it left me feeling weak and hopeless.
I want to die
>>16484261
The extremes I read from here and those letter threads are either trolls or anxiety ridden needy people with self esteem issues. Normal people just talk to each other, they get hints, they still make the best of it, laugh it off and life is good. People who take life too seriously are bound to make others miserable. Break the cyka.
>>16484283
it's hard to message your ex when you both need space.
as much as we need it, i still want to message him like crazy.
I get out the urge to message him by coming here
>>16484220
What's the initial of who it's directed to
>>16484288
You are creating a new habit here to replace your old habit but it's still related to your obsession with him. In a way you are preventing yourself from moving on. Only perpetuating your heartbreak, losing your own self confidence and generally repeating the same cycle over again.
For the first time in my adult life I have options and it scares me.
>>16479676
FUCK YEAH hey Santa.
Can you get the bike I donated last week to a good home?
>>16484303
I'm pretty confident. I know how I feel and I'm comfortable with that, it's not one sided either.
I'm not really looking for advice on this lol
4.5 years into my degree and I might not graduate because I'm shit at teaching elementary kids despite the proof that my secondary teaching is just fine
[spoiler]I don't know how to do spoiler tags[/spoiler]
>>16484272
Just let go of these expectations anon, it's funny when you see these people mock you for doing what you need to do. They know so much on how you should live your life but have no real merit as to how YOU will be able to attain it.
I've seen enough negativity in life that I'm just piling it up and sorted it out only to see that it's the same old repetitive thing that these people have against me. They got annoyed at me for being myself. Fuck these people, I'm out.
Holy fucking shit, I've been such a fucking impulsive shithead lately; what the fuck. I currently am what I don't want to be, what I didn't think I would become. I don't know why I'm like this now, when it's most important that I don't be; and it's this state that's keeping me from thinking about why I'm this way.
>>16483960
Because reasons; love is an odd emotions.
>>16484422
When was the first time that you have been an impulsive shithead? Who and what made you keep on repeating that behavior?
>>16480299
>addicted to strippers
>go 2-4 times a month
>addicted
Fuckin weak gtfo
>>16480433
What happened?
It'll get easier bro, time will heal you
>>16484167
I am there with you, in this version of Hell.
The only differences being that it has only been a year since it ended. I suppose I may be handling it slightly better?
I work 50+ hours a week, lift, and do as much as I can to kill time. It helps, but only so much.
I'm here to listen, or talk, if you would like.
>>16483790
Everyday, you get pushed around to be insecure about yourself just because other people are insecure themselves. Having to pretend that they weren't being insecure just took its toll on me, I just got fed up after these pricks had to be like that.
>>16484321
I'm a T, last initial or one of yours?
For a lot of years, I saw my peers just get mad when I do great and want to see me fail... HARD.
I tried to see it their way, but damn, this is over four years' worth of bitterness from them.
Seeing them make stuff up about me and their efforts to make it seem like it's real was hilarious, then got out of hand with 3rd party autists who do nothing but gossip, over-analyze and overreact everything I do.
I've been trying to take a break from school life, but it seems that the trouble just escalates as these people love to make a fuss.
I've been seeing an older undocumented/illegal immigrant (from Ireland - pic related) for a couple of weeks. I just found out last night and I have no idea wtf to do now really. Also his ex-girlfriend has been stalking him for months and fucking came by last night and knocked on his windows while we were hanging out.
I have literally no one else to talk to about this, nor do I really want to. I haven't clicked with anyone like this in a long time (years, at this point) and I wouldn't even be debating my situation otherwise. I'd never rat him out, but I'm a little conflicted on whether or not I should keep seeing him. Kinda just hoping it'll all sort itself out. Shitsux.
>>16484515
what do you mean? do you think immigrants are bad people?
>>16484167
fuck feeling like this.
i honestly should get a waifu. Its the best I could muster to conclude my joke of a love life. I'm probably nonfunctional in relationships by this point. I love her and that isn't changing. so im there for her when she needs me. i take care of myself so i know she'll be alright.
she doesn't love me back and i've accepted that. so thats it, nothing happens. i go on with life, and focus on other things. at night i have a pillow to hold and memories of how amazing it felt to hold her. i'm fortunate in some ways.
despair may come when she finds someone else. i just hope she's happy, and if that's the case then ill get through it.
>>16484521
lol no, I mean he's pretty much been in hiding from all kinds of people for a lot of reasons and yesterday he kinda decided to confess that much to me. He's a good/funny/fascinating guy for the most part (from what I know). I'm just afraid of what kinda risks I'd be facing if this goes any further, to be honest.
There is this low iq, not so good looking girl who loved me a lot. So i went out with her, did stuff with her and fake committed to her. Then I did more stuff with her. Finally I realized, this is not right. So I broke up with her before it was too late.
>>16484538
good.
I think I need to opt out of joining the military, there's a lot of bad rap that I had to put up with in the past few years that they'd actually believe is real.
>>16484529
What happened??
I fucking love this girl (never told her) but she thinks i'm retarded or something. I wanna impress her but don't know how, also i am ugly af.
>>16484589
Just join the waifu confederation. They seem happy, they get hugs, well taken care of, and the only devastating thing they can do to their lives is move on it seems.
I wanna be more charismatic and confident again
But she is my crush, i'm almost sure she is the one... I've known her for so long, i mean there has to be a way i can get her right?
>>16483769
Thanks.
The fact that she herself contacted me and wanted to talk with me warmed my heart. She was probably nervous about her upcoming performance, so I did my best to encourage her.
This place is nothing but a concentration camp for passive aggressive people and narcissists. Prepare the gas chambers, a new age awaits.
