Hey /x/. I think my condo is haunted. Weird things have been happening lately.
I got home today and one of my cats was completely catatonic and huddled in a corner. When I went to take out the trash, he did his best to try and get out.
Then a few weeks ago, I had some catfood in my cabinet left over that I was going to feed them the next morning. I got home and the bags were gone and in the trashcan instead.
Lastly, I only lock my deadbolt at night and when I leave, but I got home one night and the doorknob lock was engaged as well. I went to bed after unlocking it, woke up and it was locked again.
How can I check? What do I do if it is?
>>17699297
self bumping for help
a psychist may help...
Go to your local or nearest new-age bullshit store.
When you're there, dont fuck around and buy a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards (you're not getting a ghost rare rainbow dragon) and buy some fucking white sage instead, in a bundle.
Proceed to venture condo again, when arrived, put on some music that makes you feel a bit fearless, example in beautiful greentext:
>motorhead - king of kings
Remember you are the king of kings and taking the faggot ghost's head
>3 6 mafia - its a fight
ITS A FIGHT PUNCH THE GHOST YOU ARE GHOSTPUNCHER FFS OP ITS SO SIMPLE
>the barbie world song
Prance around KNOWING that YOU are the barbie in YOUR barbie world! Ghosts aren't even to be seen at a pageant show, they aren't barbies. You are. You are Michael Ja kson and YOU ARE winning that show.
Now once you have your theme set, stick the sage bundle into your muladhara, your anus and rotate it clockwise one whole full turn. Light that fucking sage and go screaming with the music, banging on all the doors and pans in a fearless berserker frenzy.
NO GHOST CAN FUCK WITH YOU LAD
>after that it should be goood
>>17699574
I have done this method before. I truly felt fearless with the Barbie girl song.
Also I found it more effective if you turn the sage counterclockwise. I also found non-stick pans don't work well enough to ward off the sprits.
>>17699297
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYuSHz7uOv4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxMkMBXAVZ8
http://pastebin.com/xMQ9wAwW
Call on Jesus Christ.
>>17699609
Aye. The rubber handle ones are the worst.
Imagine what could happen if you counter clockwise turn TWICE
D E V I L I S H
OP here. No new age stores nearby that sell white sage. Also random scratch marks have been showing up high long the wood work on my walls. About 4ft off the ground. Look like claw marks.
Think I have a nekomata. Weird shit began after I adopted this black cat from my neighborhood named Pyewacket
>>17700704
Okay, this is what you should do.
Go buy any incense (best is lavender). Then stick the incense stick down your urethra as you light it. Then inhale the scent coming from the stick as you chant these words, "hua kai be ald gur tee". Start off reeeal quiet then progressively get louder and louder. You will eventually hit a new state of mind where you are bonded with the spirit world. After you've enter the spirit world call out the name of the cat. The evil spirit will arrive and then you'll have to be prepared to fight. Spirits weakness is virgin cum so make sure you jerk off before you enter the world of sprits.
Good luck to you OP.
>>17700861
I havent been a virgin for the last 12 years anon
