Which cryptid/mythological creture you identify with, /x/? For me it's vampires: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour.
>>17685570
Ghosts
I hangout in buildings all day and like to fuck with people.
Are there any vampires on /x/?
I mean real, true vampires. I am.
I had my awakening when I was 17. After a night of hanging out with some friends, I was visited by a vampire. He called himself Triumverus Caer. He came in through my bedroom window and spoke to me about his ability and his council.
He placed his hands upon my chest and I soon felt very cold. I dropped to my knees and looked up to him. He grabbed me by my neck and sunk his beautiful fangs into it. Oh, the feeling of such power coursing through my veins was almost orgasmic, I passed out from the pleasure.
When I awoke, there was a small scroll on the floor in front of my body. I sat up slowly, my whole body was dead cold. When i reached out for it and read it. I understood it completely. This is strange because it was written in Latin. It told me about my newfound powers.
What are my powers you ask? I have the ability to withdraw the energy from your body. A psychic vampire. This kind of vampire is special because I can still go out in the sun and have a normal functioning life. I feed off energy instead of blood.
So, here I am now, I've had my powers for little over 3 years. They're great. I'm in very high respect of the elders and I've become a sire to a few of my own underlings.
Pic related, It is me.
PS: Perfect response: "So tell me OP, how does it feel to have schizophrenia"
>>17685604
Fuck off.
Blood drinker here, AMA.
>>17685604
I remember seeing the exact same post with same pic before.
Perfect response is, why copy and paste same story?
I remember seeing this exact thing a long time ago.
https://www.google.com/search?q=I+had+my+awakening+when+I+was+17.+After+a+night+of+hanging+out+with+some+friends%2C+I+was+visited+by+a+vampire.+He+called+himself+Triumverus+Caer.+He+came+in+through+my+bedroom+window+and+spoke+to+me+about+his+ability+and+his+council.&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Copypasta/Archive_4#Vampires.3F_In_my_.2Fb.2F.3F
You made this thread just to reply to it?
Da fuq, this isn't schizophrenia bro this is serious attention getting daddy issues or something.
At least change the story for KEK sakes.
>>17685615
What do you mean?
>>17685618
http://mikerugnetta.tumblr.com/post/227151435/are-there-any-vampires-on-b-i-mean-real-true
2009
The poster >>17685604
Is just pasting an old copy pasta.
Shit isn't even real.
>>17685610
Really, nobody has anything?
Why do I even bother.
>>17685725
Whats your favorite blood type?
>>17685570
GrOw ^ (uP)
>>17685570
On all levels except physical, I am a skellington.
>>17685570
Did you get a puppy?
I told you to get a puppy, is the best way to stop looking like a serial killer.
>>17685729
-neg or positive, hell I'm not fussy
>>17685745
Would you drink menstrual blood, if not given other choice?
>>17685570
i dont identify with this but at least i have a sense of humor and dont have to rely on memes you fat inbred testube trustfund retard
and people find me genuinally funny anyway which upsets you a lot.
>>17685766
This was for
>>17685758
>>17685768
>>17685778
you posted the proof anime virgin.
>>17685785
>>17685770
I'm glad you explained that, cause the answer to
>Did you get a puppy?
Shouldn't be
>Would you drink menstrual blood?
>>17685731
STOP IT
>>17685766
Yes.
Although the pussy gets pretty nasty, but if somehow I had no other choice, then yes.
>>17685788
LOL anime and memeboy tells me to go back to "reddit"
>>17685803
Thanks for the loosh.
>>17685811
fat retarded AND a virgin
>>17685814
Keep going, my toddler brother likes your style.
>>17685817
grow up
>>17685814
oh snap
>>17685817
despite being a virgin your gf still cheated on you somehow.
but memes will never cheat. meme stay loyal forever :)
>>17685570
Vampire for me too but not because of what you wrote, instead:
>pale
>prefer nighttime
>dislike sunlight
>can't survive without other people's blood
>>17685831
Wow, you really put an effort into that one.
>>17685833
do you have aids or a kidney disease and require constant dialyses and donations?
>>17685836
le epic ruseman xd
>>17685837
thalassemia
If I actually have to choose one, probably ogres.
They are rotund, like eating, and are a bit lazy. Which summarizes my neckbeard lifestyle.
Why don't vampires eat niggers?
>>17685889
I eat everyone.
>>17685892
Are you a SJW vampire?
Fuck you
>>17685570
>intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour.
If this is how you describe yourself then...you're not that. You definitely think you are, but you aren't.
>>17685906
>"if you boast about it then you aren't that" meme
>>17685896
What? No.
A harpy, maybe. A terrifying, shrieking harpy.
Or just a straight up Salem witch.
>>17685570
I identify with werewolves because they are cool and I am cool. I also identify with Cthulhu because I too am a dark lord of utter terror and cosmic mind rendering horror.
>>17685923
would have said london if not for the shrieking part.
>>17685904
grow up
>>17685570
probably a siren
we little mermaid now. or like >>17685923 said, a witch. Let's start a coven.
>>17685933
I'm 39 years old
>>17685570
Lovecraftian horrors. I'd explain the resemblance, but...
>>17685904
Pffffffftttttthahahahahahahaha
>>17685604
Seems like some gay fantasy.
>>17686277
lol
>>17685977
lets do this bitch
I admire the undead's resilience. I wouldn't want to be a ghoul or zombie but I can respect their teamwork and can-do attitude.
Pan. Because there is no greater joke than how seriously we take ourselves.
>>17685570
a spoopy skellington of course. but with flesh your trumpet ondy does turtu tu turu tu, when is supposed to do doot doot. any tips on that?
>>17685732
Your a floppy bag of skin and muscle?
My favorite cryptid is the frog spirits of the beast, the antichrist and the false prophet.
They are evil spirits, frogs and they go inside you and give you special powers. You could be shot in the face 8 times and survive.
Pretty cool KEK.
>>17686295
It's funny to read a second time and see that none of the weird things he was doing growing up actually had anything to do with sexuality.
I identifiy as a mountain, sexually, emotionally, socially and physically.
>>17687474
I hope u dont ravage the riverlands and kill red vipers
I'd be a Jenking DUENDE . Introverted, knowledge of local forests, likes to fuck with people in small ways just for the hell of it. I heard a story about a DUENDE throwing rocks at people from the forest. Sounds like fun. And you know they got the best JENK around, get POOTED
>>17685604
Stop spreading ridiculous falsehoods. A blood drinking vampire cannot create a creature with the abilities you claim to have. Utter nonsense and you aren't even defending yourself here.
I identify as a Xbox 1 controller
nice cringe thread you got here
>>17685725
because you want attention, and by posting something like this, you can easily get it.
>>17686553
could you start it in london?
>>17688504
Believe what you want. I'm not here to convince you, so any questions?
>>17688991
>not here to convince you
Then you probably shouldn't mention what you are.
>>17689020
Then next time, don't ask.
>>17689020
Besides, don't you have a space pope to assassinate?
a zombie, soulless wadding through life eating and waiting to die
>>17689129
Basically.
>>17689092
I'm working on it. Get off my back.
>>17689144
You can't make me.
>>17689155
Who told you?!
>>17685570
saving this for cringe breads on /b/
sorry OP
Bigfoot
>large
>hairy
>smell terrible
>speak in grunts and groans
>go around naked all the time
>eat twigs and berries and other people's garbage
>have appeared in numerous pornographic films
Aliens. I'm there but not very many people see me. I'm pretty distant. Listens to electronic music and smokes weed.
Also you sound like a faggot.
>>17685768
>fat inbred testube trustfund retard
>everyone likes me
>U MAD with different wording
>I have a sense of humour
How many times did you type that out? It seems like you made a sincere, yet misguided, effort to get people to look at you. And it looks like you got a checklist of all the things you could say to sound annoying. I'll give you the recognition you want for that.
>>17689205
started browsing today huh?
>>17689205
Saving this for the underage threads
Sorry poster
>>17685570
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
>>17690257
You beat me to it, cheeky cunt.
Mothman.
Tried to warn you, but maybe I wasn't very clear about it.
>>17685570
Flying Spaghetti Monster; no one really believes in me, and the few who say they do only do so for ironic purposes.
>>17685788
>hating reddit
Yes, you are one of the cool guys now
>>17685604
You're gay
![FYIAD[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gyibiWR.jpg "FYIAD[1].jpg")
>>17685570
I identify myself as a seraph, duty minded, creative, forever faithful.
MANTICORE
GROOOAHG
