Wicca General
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You are currently reading a thread in /x/ - Paranormal
You are currently reading a thread in /x/ - Paranormal
Wicca is powerful magic. It leaves marks on the spellweavers who practice it. The following are the most prevalent witches' marks.
*Youthful appearance. Most wiccans, likely through the use of their Magick, take on the countenance of a girl in her teens. They often take extra steps to maintain this ruse, in the form of homunculi or ensorcelled adults kept in their household and used as servants, while maintaining an elaborate roleplay to the public as though they were the witches parents. On occasion it's a father and a mother, but usually it's just the mother - they only really need one, so often just maintain the appearances of a single parent household.
*Changes in hair color. The Magick seems to actually alter the color of the hair of the witch. Shades of pure black or red, similar to that of mundane women who dye their own hair the first time achieve.
*Morbid Obesity. The power of wiccans Magick innundates their bodies, expanding them from the inside out. If you ask them what they eat, you will be shocked - the more powerful the wiccan, and thus the heavier, the healthier the diet they will profess to eat.
*Compulsion to wear tacky jewelery. Rings, earrings, facial piercings, cheap, tacky necklaces, all sorts of things. Generally of cheap metals, silver at the most, with stones of little to no actual value. Crystals are common but opaque stones of bright/eye catching colors are the norm.
*An excessive love for incense and scented candles far beyond that of the average girl in her teens and twenties. Upon seeing their candle menagerie, one might assume that they are trying to mask the odor of their unwashed, bloated bodies, or the pizza boxes under their bed, or the poorly maintained litterbox of their familiar (it will look like a cat and have a florid, overly serious name), but scented, colored candles are powerful tools in ritual Magick.
Please sisters and brothers, if I have left off anything, speak up!
>>16925129
Look i saw some wicca girl describe a love spell ritual here once and let me tell you I got scared.
The shit is they dont know the theory but they don't need to, and women are the ones to generally have a more intuitive understanding of this bizzness. And that she had, she understood ritual better than i do, and i've been reading occult stuff for years.
And yeah i wouldn't want to be on the "target" end of any of that shit. Honest.
>>16925129
>Most wiccans, likely through the use of their Magick, take on the countenance of a girl in her teens
Really bitch?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=LL_6PP2qNghM6jOojLNOwovA&v=Dc3CYYte_f4
>>16925231
Most. Some of the truly powerful radiate the power of womanhood and the strength of being a single mother (because why keep one man when you can choose any, when you want, how you want?) so strongly that even the strongest glamour cannot hide it. These mighty witches show the counteance of a middle aged woman, however still, the other marks, the dyed hair, excessive jewelery, and familiar (especially in the form of cats), collection can be taken to even more extreme levels.
Not all witches bear all marks, but most at least a few.
>>16925129
Damn a Wiccan with a nose ring... hot
>>16925186
It's funny how you can tell it's a tripfag before you even look up at the post header.
It's cute when people think wiccans do anything other than complain about gmos fogging up their auras and all that bullshit. It's cuter still when you tell them that their silly ideas have only been around since the 60's and are just a bastardized version from other silly "i canz do magics noaw mom" ideas. Wiccans are new agers that didn't get the memo.
>>16925129
>*Morbid Obesity. The power of wiccans Magick innundates their bodies, expanding them from the inside out. If you ask them what they eat, you will be shocked - the more powerful the wiccan, and thus the heavier, the healthier the diet they will profess to eat.
haha.
does this make me the opposite of wiccan?
>>16925985
It also has a mustache
>>16925129
So she "looks youthful"...but she's "in her teens and twenties"...how old are you that teens or twenties are old? what are you, 5?
Wait so if I Wicca I can be the little girl? Sign ups where please.
>>16926180
Did you hear that whoosh going over your head? That was the point. You missed it entirely. I hope English is not your first language.
>>16925129
>hair dyed unnatural color
>septum piercing
>wiccan
if they gave out nobel prizes for red flags i swear to god
>>16926194
So they LOOK like a teen-ager but they are really 48 and overweight. 2 things - 1) I've never seen a youthful looking overweight person. 2)I love how Wicca is the ONLY religion that have overweight dysfunctional people in it.
Good Job OP, you look like an ass with this post...keep it up...mr 12 year old...
Requesting Janitor to delete obvious troll thread
Can someone explain why Wicca is so hated? I don't know much about it (admittedly) and all I ever really see is shit like OP where its just childish namecalling
For what I can tell its just flower child witchcraft
>>16926256
Mainly because of the people it attracts.
It's mostly special snowflakes who are either-rebelling on their religious parents or- middle-aged women who have 'found magicjks' after getting divorced from their long suffering husbands
>>16926280
>It's mostly special snowflakes who are either-rebelling on their religious parents or- middle-aged women who have 'found magicjks' after getting divorced from their long suffering husbands
As opposed to /x/ which is mostly special snowflakes who are either-rebelling on their religious parents or- teenage males who have 'found magicjks' after getting rejected repeatedly by females
>>16925231
Wow OPs sarcasm is lost on you. It's a joke dude
>>16926222
See this >>16926280
I'm guessing you bear most of those marks listed in the original post and are smarting with butthurt about being called out for being a either a pathetic self important little girl or pathetic middle aged unmarriable tragedy of a human being.
Blessed be, sweetie. Blessed be.
>>16926295
Lol is that really how you see /x/? Cus you realize you're here too right?
Look from my experience, a lot of wiccans are like that.. I'm not saying they all are but maybe if you won't even admit that then you might fall into the snowflake group
>>16926253
Requesting your mom or dad turn off your computer and confiscate your phone so you can get some sleep. It's a school night.
/x/ bags on Wicca because despite their alleged interest in scary films and video games what really terrifies them is anything having to do with females in any role other than sexual fantasy object.
>>16926321
Oh you mean like running a shop selling crystals and fairy candle holders?
>>16926321
Thanks for your input tumblrina. You are beautiful, and healthy, no matter what those men and their sexist BMI say.
>>16926321
I'm a gay man actually, and the least scary thing I can think of is a fat rainbow-haired slut who worships 'the morrigan'.
>>16926325
Don't forget the scented candles, hand crafted costume jewelery and books about the power of female energy. Also, menstrual cups.
>>16926340
Good point... And tarot decks. Lots and lots of tarot decks
>>16926321
How dare you try to claim wicca for one gender. Wiccans believe in the energy of both the feminine and the masculine. Please check your prejudice, bigot.
>>16926370
Men who practice Wicca might as well be women.
>>16926377
Those are strong words, internet tough guy. Come at me, say that to my face. Come down to salem, call me out. I dare you.
Yeah. I didn't think so.
>>16925129
>Wicca is powerful magic.
>>16926377
But, but 4chan's all time favorite thing is men that act like women.
>>16926164
Hahahah that's what I'm saying dude lol shit looks all green freshly shaved
>>16926471
That's what a real woman looks like. And you better hope she's a white witch, because if she practices black Magick you are going to find yourselves in a world of hurt. Men don't even know what real hurt is, not like any girl who has ever been betrayed by a man or mocked by one, I pity you and what could be coming your way.
>>16926564
Any image of a female that isn't a glossy airbrushed 2d image or anime confuses /x/
>>16926564
lol'd
>>16926256
Its sugar coated thelema with some pseudo-celtic seasoning. That traces back to a guy who wanted a context to legitimize his extramarital affair. If all magick fags are role players then wiccan`s are the magical realm douche bag who always inserts his fetish into the campaign. They also routinely piss off the other kids on the playground by having no fucking clue what they are doing when it comes to magick/spirituality while claiming authority .
Wicca as an idea has many good things.
This thread went full retarded, though, even if I'd believe there is actual magic and not just fetishism.
>>16927274
And these "good things" are what exactly?
>>16927298
I don't remember, lol. Something about free will and such [spoiler]you probably call it speshul snoflaking, but I am okay with it[/spoiler] It's all ruined by their retarded rituals and typical cult hierarchy anyway. I guess freeform variant is less retarded but I cannot find any info about practitioners - web is filled by "official" organizations.
>>16925129
I followed/added you on tumblr and instagram OP.
we can talk herbal witch things.
>>16927317
I`m not sure I consider the wiccan stance of " do what you want unless it even mildly upsets me somehow" counts as free will. Also counter intuitively the hierarchies are even stronger outside of the "official organizations " as you put it.
I pissed off some middle aged, fat, dyed hair wiccan in Glastonbury because I took the piss out of the common rocks she was selling in plastic bags and calling spells a little too loudly. I went back about a year later and she saw me at a coffee shop and came over to imply she had put a spell on me or some shit.
Joke was on her because my life was already fucked.
>>16925129
Haha, OP, very funny.
Yeah, some Wiccans are internet troll fodder. But others are powerful, psychic and know their shit.
For instance, my Dad is a fundie christian and he had his panties in a wad a while back because a Wiccan lady put a curse on hid friends' house for trying to proselytize her kid. He said her house was covered in flies for two weeks and nothing they could do would make them go away lol. (He was freaking the fuck out too when he told me saying "Be careful, anon! The Devil is real and he's out there waiting to devour us!")
>>16926256
If you're into serious magick, you're going to be looking down on people doing kitchen witch stuff.
If you're a Satanist, you're going to look down on people doing the G-rated version of what you're doing. What with their "only use magic for good" attitude, they want to rebel against the Christian norm but they don't want to be TOO edgy.
And as >>16926280 said, it appeals to special snowflake types. Feminist-approved is a bad thing. OP is only exaggerating a little about the dyed hair, piercings, lots of cheap bling, and perfume abuse. They are, in the main, people with major personal issues that they're trying to sit on rather than improve.
Also worth pointing out, anytime a person looks too much something, like they're wearing a costume, that's what it is: a costume.
>>16925361 >>16926370 >>16926425
these people are obviously LARPing.
tl;dr people dislike Wiccans for the same reason they hate on tumblr. Not all wiccans are faggot roleplayers, but enough of them are to have tainted the brand.
>>16926370
Seriously, look up Christian Day Warlock. He looks like he's LARPing to any sane person, but nope. This is how he walks around Salem, or used to, before his attention grabbing behavior crossed the line, and business owners got fed up and started taking civil action, and soon after law enforcement started noticing.
>>16926611
No, you fat hairy cunt, go back to tumblr and find some fat/ugly acceptance support groups.
http://cowardlychristianday.tumblr.com
Even Tumblr hates Christian Day.
>>16926370
go back to tumblr
>>16928932
Everyone is hairy, idiot.
>>16925129
>Wicca is powerful magic
Gonna need some evidence that magic even exists, you retard.
>>16929488
Tell yourself that. My wife and I spend a month a year in our cabin in the backwoods of Northern Maine. I've seen her go full on bushgirl, but she never grew a stache. Nor did my first wife. If you think all women are hairy fucking apes like you, you are deluding yourself. What are you, lebanese?
>>16929583
All women have hair you stupid prick. As do all humans. What are you, a dolphin?
>>16929583
>What are you, lebanese?
No, I am only attracted to men, not other women.
>>16929587
maybe he just fucks dolphins...
>>16929587
All mammals have hair, including dolphins, though they lose it pretty quick after being born.
>>16926307
So wait...if I'm middle aged Wiccan..I still look like a teenager? That totally rocks! I'm in!!! Ok I'll be wiccan...where do I sign up...
I like how these fat ugly hairy cunts are bending over backwards trying to say that all women are as hairy as them. Sorry bitches, some are hairier than others. Even post menopause, not all women sprount the disgusting facial hair you have to look at in the mirror every day. But keep telling yourself its normal.
>>16929798
It's amazing how blatant sarcasm eludes so many on this board.
>>16929583
Lebanese, mexican, mediterranean, balkan, arab - hirsute women are characteristics of most of the mud races. Thank god for northern European/Russian/Northern Chinese and Japanese women.
>>16929798
How obvious is it that you are a woman? Jesus H. Christ are you all completely unable to grasp sarcasm?
>>16929838
I may be wrong, but I think her comment was sarcasm as well.
>>16925129
Wait a minute, have we met? Dude, I didn't mean to break your heart. That's why I stopped talking to you. You too young to understand. But, thank you for thinking I look really young. I'm really sorry.
In this thread: angsty teenage girls and unattractive middle aged women who cling desperately to a new age scam are butthurt over being called out for being such, or so ignorant they don't even realize how ridiculous they look and why we're laughing our asses off at how spot on the OP's observations about wiccans are.
>>16929843
Sorry, it's just a random picture of a fat girl with shitty jewelery I picked up off of a google search for something like "fat wiccan tumblr" or the like. Seriously. It was just an image of a typical tumblrina in her teens to twenties who looked especially appropriate for ridicule.
>>16929822
This board has a large femanon demographic. I say this with shame and disgust, but my sex is not very good at anything relating to humor.
>>16926307
Amazon.com sells many powerful arcane tomes relating to the Craft. Additionally you can find many of the tools of the trade on the deep web in a place called Etsy.
>>16930175
Sorry, I meant this as a reply to this. >>16929798
>>16930175
LMAO Etsy! So true. Everything the fat ass shut in blessed bees need in one stop.
Scented Candles: Check
New Age Shit: Check
Loser crafted shit jewelery: Check
And the middle aged ones don't even have to powerup their hoverrounds (modern witches have forgone the broom for travel, and instead choose the powerful Magick of the heavy duty power scooter) to do their shopping.
>>16930226
I get the joke, but that place has some pretty cool shit. Less so with the $100 ritual daggers that have been bedazzled and other various overpriced handmade crap.
>>16930279
>some pretty cool shit
if you like everything being arbitrarily steampunk, sure
>>16929838
>completely unable to grasp sarcasm
The irony!
>>16925129
I almost wish some loon would take all this to heart and go out perpetrating atrocities as a witchfinder.
I just want to see some deranged 90lb fedora tipper dressed up in capotain and trenchcoat, being hauled away by the cops because he was dunking edgy teen wiccans in the local duck pond.
I swear to my gods this would make my fuckin week!
Satire is literally Darwinism at work.
>>16933114
I am the O.P. and were this to happen I would feel as thought my life truly meant something, that I had achieved a work of art rivalling the greatest of Beethoven, Rembrandt, Shakespeare, or Dostoyevsky.
>>16933114
>>16935884
>milady
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Hopkins
>>16929590
what are you talking about? no one cares if you like men. we want to know if you are from Lebanon.
>>16925129
>mfw it turns out that Tumblrinas are actually witches
Drinking game: Take a shot every time someone doesn't get the joke
>>16936393
They're the easiest demographic to sell shit too. They are ignorant, fuckle, easily swayed by imagery, and have far more money to spend than males of the same age, as generally they're spending their own money (if on the rare chance they are employable), their parents' and their pathetic loser boyfiend's on whatever crap catches their dull, empty eyes. So Wicca, and any other new age shit that tells them they are special, unique snowflakes because they bleed like clockwork just makes them scream TAKE MY (MY PARENTS' MY BOYFRIEND'S, MY GOVERNMENT WELFARE) MONEY NOW!.
>>16927430
>my Dad
Your dad is as insane as Wiccans are.
ITT: /x/ makes sure you know they don't like females
>>16937219
I'm gay. Deal with it. Women are fucking worthless parasites. Even those who call themselves lesbians. (Protip: A woman who calls herself a lesbian is just too unattractive to get sex from a man. And straight men have no fucking standards, so that's pretty fucking unattractive. Women who call themselves bi are either gay, but willing to take a dick for wealth or power/promotions or a straight girl trying to sound kewl, or ... in the vary rare case, actually bisexual - they're all trash though. Parasites and poison on society)
>>16937584
C'mon, man. I'm gay too and you and I both know these are just generalizations. Yeah, yeah, I've seen the stereotypes myself, but they are the exception, not the rule.
>>16937777
nice quads, fag
>>16937777
Come on man, admit it - look at even your best female friends objectively. They're not intellectually inferior to the average guy, but morally they are reprehensible. I honestly think the only reason they are more socially forward on lgbt issues than straight men in general is because it's fashionable for them to be so.
>>16938013
My female friends generally are much better off intellectually and are as equally moral as my male friends. Maybe I'm just blessed.
>I honestly think the only reason they are more socially forward on lgbt issues than straight men in general is because it's fashionable for them to be so.
But fashionable why? How does it benefit their gender?
>>16937777
The Quads have spoken.
>>16926321
Fuck you, I actively fuck chubby "wiccan" bitches. They're like any women, actually easier to bag cause the tend to be land manatees.
>>16937218
Yeah, I worry about him sometimes.
>>16930165
I'm a femanon and I still got that the OP post is satire.
>>16929798
The point is if you're still a Wiccan past the age of 21 you probably have some sort of brain damage.
>>16937584
And fags are just hateful violent beta-males. I wouldn't be throwing any stones in that glass house of yours.
Fun fact: Fags and dykes have the highest rate of domestic violence, at least twice as high as straight couples.
>>16938136
Would you mind providing us with a citation for that, anon?
>>16926321
bingo
>>16938046
Typical woman. You fail at ruse 101.
>>16938314
>>16926321
Seldom does one see samefaggotry so blatant.
>>16938120
>The point is if you're still a Wiccan past the age of 21 you probably have some sort of brain damage.
As someone who has had to deal regularly with 40+ year old wiccans (a charming duet of multiple failed marriage skags with multiple bastard children each renting my guest house) brain damage doesn't even begin to cover it. My wife is Irish (as in born in Ireland) and constantly assume she needs to be liberated from the evils of Catholicism forced upon her by the evil patriarchy (because they seem to assume that all irish are secretly oppressed druids. My daughter who probably should be rebelling and embracing this stupid shit thankfully despises them even more, so I guess I'm grateful for that.
So, have you guys ever heard the psychics and empaths tend to put on weight? I've read this in books which were over 75 years old. Dion Fortune used to talk about it. With some digging, it appears to be a genuine issue, or at least a belief. I'm sure it will be readily apparent why in the simplest sense. But also, I've found myself that one way to shut down negative vibes--say, upon waking from a terrible nightmare--is to simply eat and drink a little.
A little, I said, not a lot; but if you are very sensitive, it's easy to see how you could become unconsciously addicted to stuffing yourself to shut down your psychic centers for a while. I think that proper training in how to do that without external aid is very important.
The stuff about fat psychics/witches always surrounding themselves with cats is another point I've actually seen discussed here. And I think there's truth to the idea that cats can shield a sensitive from nasty energy. In fact, I think dogs do the same thing, but dogs being generally more pricey and labor-intensive pets, cats just get the job more often by default.
I once lived in a duplex with a full-blooded wolf next door. She was the most psychic and protective animal ever. She decided I was all right after a couple of encounters and bonded with me. Soon I felt very protected by her as well--both literally and in more esoteric ways. That was years ago, and realizing as I do that she must be dead now always makes me sad.
Anyway--I know this was a troll/joke thread, but you reminded me about all this.
>>16938332
The second isn't me and I truly dgaf about sexual fantasy or whatever. I skimmed that post because it didn't interest me so whatever.
But the one I said 'bingo' to basically true of a lot of nerdly types, which includes those who parade their pseudo-Wicca around like their Doctor Who fandom or their bronyism.
You know the type, no doubt.
Such people generally aren't hateful though, I will give them that.
Pity this forum has no IDs as it definitely feeds trollage. And it's funny as fuck when people samefag in forums which do have IDs, feeling all clever.
>>16938366
>So, have you guys ever heard the psychics and empaths tend to put on weight?
I think "psychic" experiences correlate with low testosterone (women tend to be more spiritual, empathizing, etc.) and low testosterone makes it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it.
>>16926321
>females in any role other than sexual fantasy object
But Wicca is all about sex. It was created by a womanizing hippy to help him get laid (that's a crass oversimplification of what his motives were, but it's not exactly untrue).
