Let's talk about religious psychosis.
Did you ever have one?
For me it's like communicating with God, or becoming God or I don't know, words fail to describe it really, but it's a deep mystical spiritual experience that lasts for months.
Let's talk about that sort of thing.
>pic related, straight out of C.G. Jungs red book, a journal if you will about descending into religious psychosis
Yeah
I checked myself into a psych ward and everything
>>17143814
>psych ward
been there twice myself (OP here)
if you don't mind me asking:
Do you still believe in things you've experienced while being psychotic, do you still think there's something divine or otherworldly about those experiences, or do you see it all as just a chemical imbalance in your brain and nothing more?
I was an atheist and a huge skeptic of anything religious, occult or paranormal before this experience, but now I'm kind of a theist I guess. Most fascinating thing that ever happened to me, still glad that it's over and psychiatry helps to keep it in check, it's a very exhausting overwhelming experience, but also very awesome.
>>17143832
>Do you still believe in things you've experienced while being psychotic, do you still think there's something divine or otherworldly about those experiences, or do you see it all as just a chemical imbalance in your brain and nothing more?
I believe in what I experienced. I refer to it as my "second Awakening"; the first was induced with drugs.
>psychiatry helps to keep it in check
I keep myself in check now. Meditation and grounding/banishing exercises get the job done.
I think psychotic episodes (in particular the dissociation) are indicative of ego death
or, "crossing the Abyss"
I had a "friend" that tried to pretend she had schizophrenia and failed horribly at it. As soon as her "symptoms" didn't fit with Schizophrenia at all, the dumb cunt suddenly got better.
Then, about a year later, this bitch starts talking about God and all this shit, pretending she's obsessed with it. Fuck I hate people like that. Stupid fucking bitch is only furthering the issue of people with REAL illnesses not being taken seriously
FUCK I HATE THIS WORLD FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
>>17145565
she sounds interesting. I like interesting.
>>17145583
She's not interesting. She's a fucking piece of shit. An attention whore, if you will. Nothing interesting about a stupid bitch trying to use mental illness as a way to get attention. I wish she would have actually killed herself instead of just pretending.
I also wish I would have killed myself instead of believing the lie that shit gets better
It NEVER gets better.
I've had what you might think of as "pseudo"-psychosis with similar themes to religious psychosis (saving souls, hell, damnation, love and trust etc.). I always make my way to the conclusion rationally, rather than it appearing out of nowhere.
Example:
>Insane man says he's Napoleon
>I rationally conclude that I'm Napoleon
If I had to I'd be able to explain my reasons. Even if you might not personally agree with the workings, I have a place for that concept in my rational view of the world.
It's like where the river of irrational content bursts its banks in the "insane", I've managed to take my rational trenches all the way to the river - so I end up with the same overwhelming emotion or mania (the river floods into the trench when I connect the two) but it hasn't overwhelmed my reason (burst its banks everywhere, flooding houses etc.). I like to think I would be at an advantage if there ever were to be a "flood", that my rational trenches might take some of the force of excess water and save the houses etc. around the river. It's only a metaphor at the end of the day, though.
>>17144705
>"crossing the Abyss"
I got psychotic twice in my life, both times I was reading Nietzsches Zarathustra, and it felt literally like crossing the abyss, treating on the bridge above the abyss towards the Ubermensch, in my mind an enlightened human. It also felt like waking up. So yeah, I'm with you.
In India, instead of sending you in a psych wars, they send you to a temple to be taken care of.
People in the situation are often called god-intoxicants. They are drowning in the idea that God is everywhere and everything. It's a bliss-filled state, but makes one obviously unstable and mentally incapable.
There is a difference though from being intoxicated by the idea that God is everything, from believe that you are God and no one else is. When you say that you're God, there's no problem. But when you say that no one else can be God but you, that's where the problem starts.
>>17148302
>But when you say that no one else can be God but you, that's where the problem starts.
Interesting take. I dig it.
These are the types of people that "hear" god tell them to kill their kids.
>>17143808
I had something like this
It began with meditation and astral projection, then quickly progressed to meeting demons and "the all"
Lasted for lik six months, has this positive glow around me the whole time
I didn't even feel like me, I'd look in the mirror and not know who it was
I think that state most closely resembled the first "jhana"
At one point I had decided this is how I wanted to die, and at random parts throughout the day I'd feel myself being ripped out of my body but the process never completed itself
I realized, though, that I'm not allowed to die yet, fell into a really deep depression, and renormalized
Now I don't know where I stand
sometimes I'm jesus, or God, or satan, or Hitler
>>17148531
Also had empathy out the ass, I could actually tell what it was like to be my cat friends (or prisoners, depending on how you look at it) and I felt an "aura" from them
I was offended by literally nothing because whenever someone tried to be offensive, I could feel precisely why they were doing it and I could disarm any bomb lobbed at me, and show them why they didn't need to throw bombs in the first place.
I freaking miss that, but at some point that mindset got tangled up in self-righteousness and the whole thing derailed, I dunno.
I wish I could go back and not fuck it up, it was so transient
>>17143808
Love Jung's paintings. It's almost worth buying the Red Book for them alone.
I think Jung saw religion as a fumbling attempt to achieve "individuation", i.e. to integrate all aspects of the psyche into a cohesive whole, and put an end to internal conflicts.
In his book "Aion" he analyses how Christian imagery pertains to the process. Jung wasn't some kind of religious firebrand, pushing the "one true religion." He saw Christianity as a means to an end, rather than an end in itself.
>>17145599
You have to make it better.
>>17145565
why would anyone pretend an obsession?
>>17143808
>>17143808
Yeah I saw this girl's parents on a flying throne like that, with two seats a queen and king to her left my right sitting.
I could not say "non serviam" to them yet could not help but feeling I needed to, like I was being tested.
Fast forward, I'm visiting her church and feel wanted, maybe if I get my life together ie go become a petroleum or plastics engineer I can win her. Because obv she doesn't like me.
>>17147840
I was like that too, until an hour ago. I realized that there is a mass of super-lovers whom hate everything and everyone in the world as they try to filter the strata into fishcakes (a big net filters the ocean and finished with lined up fish).
So really the only obstacle is stepping outside of me-ness and into the false expanse of reality, like real is what you make it and hope and dream get mixed into reality so a crushing blow or mindless hope.
I'd like to think I can still be happy at 22 and nothing doing. I feel scared when I pick up my textbooks because the pressure of failing versus the hope to try failed.
Now I'm a reck looking for closures to problems I never wanted to posit: reansering the questions as God-given lies works.
Daddy did drugs because drugs make adults feel better when they have sadmads. The gov't gives people drugs cuz it wants productivity. A drug must be kept as a scarce tool rather than a common good or people would stop jumping through hoops for coffee.
>>17148727
I sincerely think I'm psychic. I used to play with animal-spirit-aura invocation and would summon either snake or wizard when I was sad/scared.
One day I go to thanksgiving with my uncle and am checking out my own cousins, and then the girl sits across from me and glares at me as though to say this is what you're doing. Her mother talks to me for a while and realize that love without sex is like how I feel for those people and that I don't have a boner so my realword schema is broken because I'm petrified of people and can't make memories when they're around because I'm freaking the ff fout.
So then my auntinlaw says that she's also a "bruja... serpiente" so I freak out thinking she read my aura because I was discomforted. Fast forward, I can read people's minds some people do it better. But really I know that I'm a functioning socially stagnated retard and that I just don't have the mind to comprehend everything going around me because I believe in a righteous hippy world of love.
Even now as I write the word hippy I remember bobyn said that I should grow my hair and be a hippy because I was a pseudo-vegetarian, and think that this will play into her observation of me as she decides how to skulk her way into my life.
Like I might get a car from my dad and think that its his own meanness that drives him to be happy when we aren't around not that he cares for other women/kids and that he simply buys our love. But then, why do I feel the same emotions on my parents faces and know that from a core of anger and fear my father comes and from a core of depressed fear my mother comes. And I either embrace a full force of heart racing gut crunching fear or can't live a regular life, also they were speed (of some kind) users so maybe my psyche is fucked.
>>17143808
all I really know: church was nice I teared up at how heartfelt this people was singing, so I'm going to continue attending; I like to learn and will be reentering the university as a physicist or chemical engineer again ( the two most challenging and nose chortling challenging chunk of crock).
i'm quite sure that musicians like teach you that some people have like subliminal-proximal supersonic voices. Meaning the voices travel so fast you can't hear from near the person but only at a distance. Which is why people like "Silento" can come out and make music where they have quite voices but musical cuz lower voices naturally exude great distance carry and more base tonality for upper key synchronization.
So people can hear my thoughts because I have a super powerful voice and am a megasonic person. I think the masonic brotherhood is the subconscious concordination between powerful voiced people whom with our very breath weave the world in whisps.
I have to believe that the unseen order is only a challenge to prove itself correct, I belive in an order above my petty mind which by incorporating my mind thus is like me. A universal mind which thought through what I would think and veered me away from nothing doing.
Like you know when you turn red but aren't making any more words? I think this is when the throat acclimates itself to the chords it resonates and you quietly take up a room.
Also everything gets continually better, a tear me down school gets rebuilt I reattend the problem was not of me and now am absolved by continueing with resolution.
I relearned algebra and basic trig recently, so outside of measuring lazily studying actively studying turns a bachelors degree into a one year job nothing else doing. THat's my goals now, the bach. I mean there are flies floating around on sociology associates degrees and fine dining somewhere. Universal mind guarantees I won't be the first to buckle under pressure or change due to increasing pressure, like coal into ... limestone.
Thank you /x/. I come to this board daily to remind myself that my life isnt that bad, to remind myself that at least im not a raving lunatic or a complete autist
kill yourselves mentally undesirables
I did shrooms and talked to a god. It told me that you can exist outside of time and live forever.
>>17148808
You mean ugly satanic jew, right? That's religious psychosis.
I was at my marijuaneria and I was thinking that I was going to mary this old lady who attended my high school cuz she was from another country. So they were like gonna marry some really hot tennis players.
2. I said "I want the black one to serve me" in my head as I was at my dispensary and the next week J be like "the black one?"
I was at the "Lion Club" eating dinner of suppers cfldik and (I tend to shorten my brain into quicknet scopes where CoolKidsFuckingDick becomes clfdisk)
and my uncle kept telling me not to laugh because I was stoned, and on that day I decided I could hear everyone in the world's thoughts and must be a psychic naga dmigodu hman. So as I waited everybody knew what I was thinking like I asked if I got the old lady I had sex with pregnant and they said "sigh, no!" and this guy's daughters were asking about what is resonance and all day I had said we can extract metals more cleanly and efficiently using sound resonators. Then the waiter was like Ruben's not gay, and this guy was narrating me checking out my hamburger cuz I was all hyperselfed and was rotating it like a fly eats shit.
Most importantly I was chanting "Pram" which came not from me but necessarily from my master's student Shivagoyo which told me be content but light in breath, so it kept me from laughing.
>>17148793
As a musician of several years, I have to say you really know what you're talking about. Because, what you're talking about is complete and utter bullshit. Congrats, you're literally insane. At least I won't be the one ramming a screwdriver through my head to help my thoughts project better.
i have temporal lobe epilepsy, ama
God is a verb
>>17148857
Do you kill yourself now or later?
>>17148876
pretty sure im not ever gonna be suicidal.
>>17143832
You should try to intergrate it, and learn to live with it to enhance your perspective on reality. We all see the same existence, but our reality is how we feel inside our heads. Why choose the mundane, when you can live the divine.
Dive as deep in to it as possible, and come out a changed man.
