Observer
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You are currently reading a thread in /x/ - Paranormal
You are currently reading a thread in /x/ - Paranormal
When I was younger, I felt like a vessel or a doorway to something other. It made me an observer, to life, my own and others.
As I got older, I got pulled in by a lot of people, mainly those that had problems or mental issues. By being an observer or a vessel, I too would take on those attributes, before I knew how to filter them. I tried to find names or niches to describe my situation, but never could.
Late teens early 20's I was into witchcraft. I was recruited to a few covens, it just happened. People would compliment on the power of the rituals that evening in comparison to other nights. Perhaps they did something different. Ultimately the inner working and squabbles of these things would drive me off, but I would get letters begging me to come back. Like the lack of my presence created a void in their practices.
The same thing has happened romantically, in friendships, with family. Somehow I was the glue and light psychically that they never knew was there until it departed. The whole time I was an observer. There are too many letters of regret and longing written to me after I decide to leave, and I always do.
I've never boasted about being important or powerful, this strange and obtuse aspect has become more prominent in my life. I inspire others, magnify possibilities and outcomes, radiate, but never technically create much of my own. Somehow if I try, it's not as impressive.
Are there applicable terms for this? I feel like a die being tossed into the lives of others for good or ill, depending on their outlook.
>>17514832
You are an enhancer, im guessing that other people can feel your vibe more then you think is normal, as if your emotion tranfers around the room, you bring a certain magic thats needed in some things.
I think that you really exist, and 'create' reality, others cannot. They need you, you do not need them...
Decide how u want the world to work toward you and watch the change
>I'm a speshial snoflek and it's hurting me :(
Pls seek help in tumblr
>>17514832
>radiate, but never technically create much of my own. Somehow if I try, it's not as impressive.
Hi OP. Something in you got damaged in childhood. Your sense of your own self-worth was squashed, compromised. At the same time, the energy of your natural expression was leeched on by others which left you open and vulnerable to being used and drained.
Usually this is some kind of emotional shock or abuse; sometimes the kind of thing that goes un-noticed in families or passes as 'normal'. I suggest some kind of therapy to explore how things were for you while you were developing, and what you want to create for yourself now.
>>17514832
Me pls go.
>>17514832
>>17515155
This. I was the same way for most of my life, and when I finally stopped being everyone's audience they said I'd gone insane and beat me. But I persevered, and now I feel more alive than ever - I keep getting flashes of emotions I haven't felt since childhood, it's like being a kid again.
In retrospect, I know where my problems at school came from.
