i keep having some sort of existential crisis when learning about/meditating on magic/hermetics. I panic and begin to think i will no longer be able to function in normal society, or even be able to return to it as i tap in to a new reality, which then causes me to lose focus and lose the new found state i reached that caused the crisis. what should i do? is there a way to feel better about it? is there a way to retain the wash of knowledge i get in this state? it can be more than i can handle in one go, but at the same time i want more, and i dont want to close myself off from these experiences
>>17884439
If you're mad enough to start meditating while using magick you're already far gone from society. Buckle up and enjoy the ride anon.
>>17884439
there is no god in heaven. Only I, the king, reside on the earth
>>17884439
This is interesting. Meditation is supposed to give you extreme awareness of the self. If meditating causes you to panic about your place in society, then you probably have some sort of mental condition. It's probably something as simple as social anxiety. Or, it could be more interesting like Antisocial Personality Disorder or a mild case of Autism (with the word actually being used correctly).
This is kind of nifty. I've never seen meditation cause someone to be aware of their own conditions like this before.
As for helping you, just get over it. Everyone has their own way of thinking. Society can and will eventually accept your way of thinking. Meditation is about peace. You won't be able to be at peace until you accept that.
