Alright, I don't know if this is the right board for this kind of stuff but I've seen some threads like this on here before, so here goes an attempt.
Basically, I've just returned to from a trip to Germany with my friends, its 1 AM here and I can't sleep because of various reasons. The trip has been a good experience, my friends and I have shared some great moment this weekend, both sober and shitfaced. Now that Sunday is turning into Monday and I should be in bed, I'm sitting here in front of my computer with this weird empty feeling inside. Im 22 years old and the thing is that I feel alone, but not the the right sense of the word. I have a girlfriend, we're living in our owned apartment, I have a lot of friends which I meet every week, I send and receive snapchats all the time, I talk to people on facebook often etc. So basically, I'm around my friends all the time and I'm thankful for even having friends. But still I don't meet anyone until I myself take the initiative, and if i don't, we don't meet. I'm a kind guy, I don't pretend to be someone else. I ask people if everything is good when its appropriate. I'm not forcing myself on anyone, making myself a burden to anyone else. No, i tread carefully. This thing didn't really hit me until this weekend. When we were all sitting around the table to second night of our trip having dinner. I'm with my friends, we're laughing, drinking, eating and have a good time. Still, I'm never adressed while everyone else is eager to get the attention of someone else, although I'm trying to take part in the conversation whenever I have something actually funny or relevant to say. Looking back, it has always been this way with me. I'm not saying anyone should feel bad for me, because I'm actually living a good life. I just think the fact is funny that I think I feel lonely, while surrounded with all the things one should ever need. All in all I dont consider it a big problem but it makes me feel somewhat bad about myself daily.
>>6409133
This whole wall of text boils down to that I don't know if I'm lonely, but i don't know if I have any friends either. Like I said I'm not posting this because I think anyone should feel bad about me (although I honestly think so sometimes)
I'm writing this because I think I'm not alone, and it feels a little better getting this off my chest. Anyways, thanks for reading this.
>>6409142
Correcting myself a little here: By saying "I'm writing this because I think I'm not alone" I mean that someone else probably feels the same way.
damn man, you just posted my life's story. I feel you
>>6409133
Bumping with a few more pics
>>6409146
Feels good to hear that someone is having the same kind of "feelings"
>>6409133
>>6409133
The worst part about this is that one of my friends called me twice after I got home. I was sleeping because of little sleep during the trip. When I called him back at 10 PM, he was sleeping and I woke him up. I apoligized for waking him up, and he said it was fine. Before we said goodbye, he asked me in a rather serious tone if we could talk tomorrow. This honestly makes me a little anxious. Maybe he has noticed that I'm not really as happy as everyone else thinks. I'm ofcourse happy that someone if someone would notice this about me and care, but it makes me feel like a pussy. Or it could be something completely else, like how I could have said something I shouldn't have said. Which brings me to what I think is my final point. A significant amount of my friends talk to me about their personal problems, which I think is cool. I appreciate the fact that everyone trust themselves in me enough to confess deep stuff to me. But this is the only time I'm getting addressed. And at some points, I happen to say things about other which I really shouldnt say. I'm not saying these things to be mean, but a some points they just slip right out of me often without even noticing I shared confidential information about someone else. Its not happeing like all the time, but when you know enough secrets, the line between remembering what you're not supposed to tell and whats okay to say is surprisingly hard not to cross sometimes. I don't even want to know these secrets, but If people need to get stuff off their own chests I'm always around to listen.
>>6409133
Anyways, If anyone wants to jump onto this train it would be a pleasure reading.
Hey OP, every situation is different but let me empathize. I feel what you describe, what has gotten me out of my hole is to simply be yourself. Stop yourself from dissecting everything that goes on in your day and begin to create the ideal moment for yourself. Yes we are told that to exchange messages and associate with many people is desirable but this stems from within, so look to the simple things in your life to be happy about and the rest will fall into place. Cheers bro!
>>6409283
forgot to contriboot
>>6409283
Thanks for replying! What you say is very true, and I believe what you're saying is to embrace the little things. Although this phrase has become somewhat of a cliche, it doesnt make it any less relevant. Every day I'm grateful for what I have, and I try to view myself from a perspective where i see all the things that i could be without if I made other decisions in the past. Still, I feel like some vital part of me is missing, and i need this part in order to feel more complete and less ''alone''.
Now, I dont wanna sound so whiny. But it bothers me that i kind of feel like a shadow of myself
The happiness is not outside. Life is perfect when we are connected with our really true inner self. I understand that feeling, but someday I realized that if I try to find my wellbeing outside, I will never stop running. I found in meditation the beauty of silence, the grace inside me and the pure sense of life. blessings!
>>6409133
I know that feel OP. Almost my entire life i remember being almost a second class friend to most people i would consider my good friends. Its not blatantly obvious, but when any serious arguement would happen it would be everyone against me. It used to hold me back, I would feel worthless, It really fucked me up last year. I finally thought i got over it. I thought I had real friends. But the second we started an election for a shitty club people would come up to me and tell me I wouldnt be a good president, or that they were only voting for me because of my partner. It made me feel like shit, like to everyone i was just a side character. But i dont really feel that way anymore. I could try to explain it, but im not sure what really fixed it. It was a combination of making a really good friend, being more positive, being more accepting of what happens in life, and just being lucky. Most of those are hard to get, but the most important one is the mind set. You clearly arent in as bad of a position as you think you are. I think you could just be over thinking things, or maybe you just had an off day. If your friend called you up than he definitly cares about you, also being honest almost always helps. Just find your best friend in that group and tell them what you think, ask for their opinion, it could help a lot. But if you dont htink this adivce will work than just ignore it, im just some guy on the internet, i dont really know whats going on. The only thing that always helps in the mindset, never give up and always be positive
>>6409571
this picture fits better
>>6409133
Bumping with a wp. I think this thread has potential
