Which Pokemon tastes the best?
The roasted Espeon is served with asparagus and mashed potatoes, and presented in as attractive and tasteful a manner as such a dish could be. The meat is tender, but with a distinct texture, preventing an unwanted mushyness and giving my teeth something to properly sink in to as the juices exude from the tissue pouring over my tongue.
With each bite my senses are stirred as residual psychic energy within the Espeon’s tissue flows into my brain, and memories of the creature’s life drift into my thoughts like the scent of incense in a crowded room.
I see, feel the warm hand of the Espeon’s trainer gentling his ears, the soft green grass beneath his paws as he scampered about the park chasing Beautiflies, the rush of emotion and sensations the day he evolved, the titillating frenzy of joy and affection as he under the setting sun nestled lovingly the Sylveon he adored so passionately.
And the fear, the sadness, the regret, of all of this being taken from him, of being trapped in that slaughterhouse knowing he was going to die, of the knife sinking into his throat in that brief, agonizing moment before the light of his little life blew out for eternity.
I could taste it all, feel it all, that whole lifetime playing out across my imagination and my taste buds as the slain Espeon’s life nourished my own.
Best meal I had ever had. Well worth the thirty dollars.
Yelp Review: 5 Stars
>>25663590
>every time I eat this I literally experience death
>5 stars
>>25663590
>Eat psychic Pokemon
>Gain their powers
>>25663590
Holy shit dude
>>25663554
Happiny. Happiny is filled with happiness. Eating even one bite will bring a smile to anyone.
>>25663609
>I know how to keep my man
>>25663554
Team Charm's mercy is the sweetest taste, dear breath of life
>>25663590
POWER
>>25663554
Slurpuff.
Slowpoke tail you berry munching pleb.
Did you forget the part where that was the ONLY Pokemon whose flavor is good enough to be a plot point?
>>25663554
Obviously Vanilluxe
>>25663760
Mmmmmmmmm, sweet, sweet diabetes.
>>25663810
Shiiit I forgot the delicious golden syrupy everlasting flavor of slowpoke tail, so euphoric it cause amnesia
>>25663810
I'm too poor to afford it.
>>25663821
all ice no flavor, even as food it's shit
>>25663810
Damn right.
Cherubi
>The small ball holds the nutrients needed for evolution. Apparently, it is very sweet and tasty.
>The small ball is not only full of nutrients, it is also tasty. Starly try to peck it off.
>>25663613
I imagine it wouldn't be a full psychic burst but rather like some synesthetic sense while eating
Is Bulbasaur meat still considered vegetables and able to be eaten by vegitarians?
>>25663590
just stop
>>25664237
it's not made out of leaves you dumb fuck. It just eats leaves
it's still meat
>>25663590
74/10 would buy
>>25663590
You write this yourself?
>>25664254
>grass type
How about Vileplum?
>>25663554
Suicune's benis.
>>25664191
>Eat psychic Pokemon
>You witness all of its memories up until the moment it died every time you take a bite
>>25664282
I wonder how Suicune's or Sylveon's wisps taste
>>25664272
/r/ing odd dish
>>25664262
All I can tell from this end is that amazingly the OP didn't even seem to write it.
Either the OP changed his IP or some creepy asshole had that ready to copy-paste in the case an "eating pokemon" thread came up.
>>25664272
Isn't the nectar from Gloom supposed to be one of the sweetest saps in the world, which is why they emit such a foul odor?
>>25664160
Well Snover produces fruits too
>>25664355
but it doesn't have Dex entries telling you it's tasty.
>>25664375
Replace Lickylicky with Miltank for drink.
>>25664395
>fresh milk directly from the source
Fargetch'd is canonically near extinct because it's so delicious and carries its own garnish around
>>25664372
Frozen. Treats.
>>25664405
Just as God intended.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foz8Ojq6z1w
>>25664405
>>25664432
In the spring, it grows berries with the texture of frozen treats around its belly.
>texture of frozen treats
>texture
It doesn't say anything about the taste faggot
![Pocket_Monsters_-_209_-_JL091_-_Seibo_Mirutanku!_Sabaku_no_himitsu![AFBC58AB]_1_1.webm](https://i.imgur.com/eyIxb7Q.jpg "Pocket_Monsters_-_209_-_JL091_-_Seibo_Mirutanku!_Sabaku_no_himitsu![AFBC58AB]_1_1.webm")
>>25664395
>>25664405
>>25664438
>>25664499
>>25664588
Oh god.
What were they fucking thinking.
This whole sequence, its like a fic from Deviantart come to life.
>>25664678
It was cut out by 4kids
you're the kind of person responsible for jelly donuts
>>25664588
.gif?
>>25664754
.fuck you
>>25664758
I was just asking if he had a .gif.
It's fine if he doesn't.
>>25664794
Whatchu gon do with a 40 second long gif
>>25664689
A scene of Pokemon literally sucking tits isn't the same as "LOL KIDS WONT WATCH THE SHOW IF THEY FIND OUT ITS FROM JAPAN".
Also, the fact that milk comes from cows is probably one of the very first things pre-school children learn about the world, its just that the way its presented here, while not offensive, would more than likely raise a few eyebrows, hence its out of context circulation at which we're mocking it.
>>25664809
ok american christian mom settle down don't you have kids to pick up from soccer practice
>>25664375
>>25664395
>No Gogoat
It's a whole goddamn meal
>Gogoat cheese
>Delicious Gogoat meat
>Grass pelt salad
>>25664794
A GIF that long would take easily 20 MB.
Make that easier and get a better browser.
>>25664588
Only mentally sick people would take this sexually.
>>25664848
I'm not mentally ill
but I like what what you said
It ain't right to eat a pokemon so I let a pokemon EAAAT MEEEEE.
>>25664831
Be careful anon, you're gonna cut yourself on those epic edges.also, US conservatives don't take their kids to soccer. Its a socialistic European aberration that instills children with un-American ideas like "group effort" as opposed to God's Holy Sport of Football that celebrates individual achievement.
>>25664852
It's a pretty innocent scene. Even stealth innuendos in 90's cartoons are more direct.
>>25664867
Go fuck yourself.
>>25664867
Football? oh you mean handegg :)
>>25664588
>aipoms and bellossom show up
>"nigga you gonna tap that? if not get the fuck out of the way"
>>25664878
The only correct answers are Farfetch'd and Slowpoke (tail).
Probably followed by Slurpuff, but I feel like it would be WAY too sweet.
>>25664867
I think it's pretty clear he's just using soccer because of the phrase "soccer mom".
And football is trash.
Baseball is America's Game.
>>25664942
Baseball is Japan's game get rekt usa you have nothing except basketball and only black dudes can play
>>25664942
Baseball used to be America's game, football is the most popular.
>>25664272
Vileplume is a mushroom. Bulbasaur is a mammal.
>>25664345
>>25664262
google search shows this
http://forums.bulbagarden.net/index.php?threads/eating-an-espeon.167180/
>>25664964
>Vileplum
>mushroom
>>25664964
>Vileplume is a mushroom.
God you're fucking stupid.
>>25664964
have i got mews for you
>>25664964
>Bulbasaur
>Mammal
>>25664994
those things are terrifying
>>25664950
>Baseball is Japan's game
That's tennis you idiot.
>>25664961
>Football
>America's game
>Plays games in Toronto
>>25664964
>Vileplume is a mushroom
>>25665000
tennis is britain's game, ever heard of wimbledon dummy?
>>25664986
surprise its from a fuckin furry
>>25665005
Cricket is Britain's game.
>>25665027
India
>>25665033
designated shitting streets
I love how we started with an Espeon restaurant review, then we went to cartoon censoring, to finish in a discussion about national sports.
>>25665049
>Finish
>79 posts
>>25665049
The law of entropy. Also have you noticed what site we're on?
>>25663554
Magikarp are weak as hell and Gyarados are strong as hell.
Magikarp also taste fucking terrible. Would a Gyarados taste fucking amazing?
>>25665060
>entropy
>>25666931
Maybe it tastes like salmon, but it would be expensive as hell.
I wonder how would Feebas and Milotic taste.
>>25667072
Cooked Feebas would have a smell so repulsive only the nasally impaired are willing to eat it. Texture described as "wet cardboard" with a flavor comparable to "McNuggets breaded with sawdust."
>>25663590
pls dont be pasta
>>25664499
it's meat is foul. Tastes like rotten meat mixed with the taste and smell of stale ice cream and dried blood no matter how fresh the meat is or how you prepare the corpse .
Just stick to using their milk.
Tauros meat is like the best steak mixed with ribs so juicy that they fall off the bone and just enough fat to melt in your mouth .
Slowpoke tail
>>25664405
Isn't drinking raw, unpasteurized milk a bit risky?
>>25669815
Don't quote me on this, but I think if it's just been produced it should be fine, but if it sits a while still unpasteurized then it's risky.
>>25663554
primeape twin
>>25663590
>eating roasted Espeon
>not sharing a delectable meal of sauteed Vaporeon you raised and cleaned out yourself
Braixen's feet.
>>25672188
Why did you post Stantler? What does Stantler venison taste like?
>>25672188
Sorry dubs, not into the dark meat.
>>25672199
>Why did you post Stantler?
Cause deer are cool normal mons who tongue groom.
>What does Stantler venison taste like?
Depends on if we're talking about roasted Stantler at those fancy battling restaurants or Stantler jerky that the burly hikers eat all the time.
