Pokemon are /real/
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You are currently reading a thread in /vp/ - Pokemon
You are currently reading a thread in /vp/ - Pokemon
Join us as we pretend to be anons posting as if Pokemon were real! Go on adventures, ask questions, or just chat to other anons. You don't have to use a trip if you don't want to; posting anonymously is perfectly fine
>Rules
1) No lewd - Keep lewd discussions out.
2) No godmodding - No, you cannot have a team of 6 Arceus.
>Not good at drawing? Use the following links.
http://www.dreamself.me/clothes.php?action=view&id=0
http://pochi.eek.jp/m_kisekae.html
http://rinmarugames.com/game/?game_id=421
http://hapuriainen.deviantart.com/art/Pokemon-trainer-Creator-v-2-257074027
This died when you said "no lewd."
You've got to phrase it to say "keep the lewd to a minimum" or "keep it subtle." Idr how I phrased it last time. Try again tomorrow.
>>24863114
I guess it's worth a shot.
I'm not going to make a new thread, though, so we'll just implement that here.
About time this popped up.
Anyway... The McDonald's Hoopaning ends soon.
Speaking of Hoopaning... *walks over to a table with a Pixie Plate on it* HOW THE HELL DID THAT END UP IN MY HOUSE?
>>24865478The hoopaning is fucking over. Please end it because that shit makes it hard to even post.
>>24865478
Somebody must be playing a joke on you. But, Plates are incredibly rare, aren't they?
This is awful.
I've been trying to go to bed and wake up a bit later every day, but no matter what I do, my Hoothoot just won't. let. me. sleep any later than 6:38:04 in the morning. Come that, he'll scream at me and poke me until I get out of bed.
What can I do? He already knows how to get out of his Pokéball, and leaving it outside of the room only garners me animosity from my neighbours, in the least.
>>24865773
Had a Noctowl once. Here's what you do.
Chesto-berries before he goes to sleep. Noctowl and Hoothoot love the damn things and while they are made to keep you from getting the sleep status, that species has the opposite effect.
>>24865773
It's time for you to get an Electric-type.
>>24865773
That's unfortunate. My Beldum has a habit of floating over my head in the mornings. You ever slam your head into metal at 8 AM? Not fun.
>>24866592
Ouch.
Do you have a giant, comical bump on your forehead?
I'm so fucking glad I have a Metagross and an Alakazam to help study with for my final exams.
>>24865773
Damn bro. My Staraptor lets me get to 7am, but I make it up but taking the gang to a local park after breakfast.
>>24865773
>>24866592
At least you don't have a Ludicolo that burst into your room shaking her maracas.
hoopa keeps touching my dick
wat do
>>24865520She's talking about the IRL Mcdonalds. I think
>>24865773
That exact hour?
Spoopy.
>>24865773
>>24866592
>hiking in mountains
>see freaky floating balls
>check with pokedex, it's a misdreavus
>rare little bugger, and friendly enough, I catch it in a nice moon ball
>decent team member, if a bit weak, and nice to have around
>within a week it learns to sneak out of its ball
>it fucking pops out of the wall and screams in my fucking ears in the middle of the night
>goddamn creepy chanting at 3 AM
>have to go to the pokemon center if I want to get any rest
Is there anything I can do to keep the little bastard in check, I'm like a day away from shipping it off to storage and letting the local professor deal with it.
>>24867364
Ah, Misdreavus. They are always so mischievous.
I think you misunderstand it. It's only trying to play with you. Try chanting with it - or try playing pranks together on your neighbors to satiate its desires.
>>24867396
I'd love to, like I said it really is a friendly little bugger. Unfortunately it's a nocturnal friendly little bugger that doesn't understand the whole sleep concept. Maybe if I get another mon to keep it company at night?
Hey guys, my Totodile keeps trying to eat my other pokemon, any advice on curbing this behavior?
>>24867410
That could work. Maybe something like a Phantump? They are usually very docile and quiet.
Maybe it doesn't even have to be another Ghost. Items like Spell Tags would work well, too. They tend to calm Ghosts and placate them while also improving their power.
>>24867418
Duct-tape will work wonders.
so today while me and ol Sharktank were training to do a 1000W 0L run at the battle maison and I ran into a Shiny Lapras
>mfw i OHKO'd it with a Quick Attack
>mfw i'll probably never see it again
who here /almosthadashiny/?
>>24867432
>Spell Tags
Oh shit, there's some crazy lady that sells trinkets outside of town, she has a few. And think misdreavus would like a gardevoir? My Garde helps the professor take care of his garden and vivillons, but I could call her back.
>>24867447
>And think misdreavus would like a gardevoir?
I'd say so, as long as your Gardevoir is okay with staying up far later than usual. And Gardevoir do learn Hypnosis - that might be useful.
>>24867410
That doesn't work. You'll have 2 ghosts bugging you instead.
Try talking to it.
>>24867418
Yeah, that's normal. Just make sure it doesn't actually eat them.
That's probably not good.
>>24867460
Yeah, gardevoirs don't sleep much anyway in my experience, she could manage an hour or two, and keep up with the wall phasing thanks to teleport. Guess Misdreavus gets to stay after all. Now I just need to find the professor a new helper for his vivillon garden.
>>24867473
Like we said, doesn't have to be a ghost.
This thread has died over and over again. Stop trying to revive it you fucking idiots
>>24867575
>mods being fags means it's dead
>>24867494
I've heard that Torterras love to take care of other Pokémon
>>24867601
As cool as torterras are, a giant half ton dirt turtle isn't exactly fit for home life.
>>24867601
>>24867494
>>24867659
Who's ridden one of these things to a city?
I did my trip from Hearthome to Solaceon to Veilstone
That was during my days of travelling. Shit was relaxing.
>>24867668
I mostly travel on flying types, but if you can train one (or borrow a friend's) taking a swampert on a trip through a bayou on a moonlit night is absolutely magical.
>>24867668
If I could own one, I would.
I'll settle with riding Scolipede when Venipede evolves.
>>24867712
I can do that.
But I also got my trusty Empoleon or Starmie for that kinda work. I've never done it at a bayou, but I've done it in a river that goes through a cave.
Nothing but Relicanth, quietness, and one light at the ends of each tunnel.
Surfing's fun man.
>>24867728Forgot the fucking tag
>>24867668
Sometimes, I ride on my Golurk's shoulder and take a walk through Eterna Forest. It's really quite relaxing.
>>24867728
The thing is I'm not sure if an empoleon could handle swampy water easily enough for it to be enjoyable. I mean you'd get through, but it'd be a miserable slog. Mons that are used to swampy water (swamperts, quagsires, feraligatrs, ludicolos to an extent, etc.) handle it much better. But yeah, cave surfing is great
>>24867776
Empoleon are practically made of steel but can handle water like all other water-types.
The steel allows them to cut through.
Though I do imagine I'd have to give him a good old metal polish after a trip through water of that caliber.
Grif's still got plenty of strength in him. I plan to give him a good life-span.
Average Empoleon life span is what? 50-60 years? I hope to break past that.
Fucking autists kill yourselves
>>24867344
Yeah. He likes to boast of being oh so precise. I wish his accuracy with his moves was half as good.
>>24866670
Sounds like a good idea. And as we get to that I'll try to search for an Electric type who wants to live with us as >>24866539 suggested.
>>24865794
...Really? Never would have guessed. Time to go to the market.
>>24867712
>>24867728
This sounds so awesome. I sometimes wish I liked water more.
>>24869857
>Yeah. He likes to boast of being oh so precise. I wish his accuracy with his moves was half as good.
Kek
It might be hard, but try training your Noctowl to wake you up at a different time. Make it a personal alarm clock
Go back to reddit you fucking manchildren. I'd rather the furries spam up /vp/ than see this stupid shit
Go out and talk to real people, losers
>>24865773
Box it when it comes time to got to sleep
she is in heat , I do?
We're dead, all dead, pokemon killed us and rule the planet. The end.
>>24865683
Yes, they are. But as we all know, I hate Fairy Types, so I have no use for a Pixie Plate!
>>24870708
Oh, come on - You can't even try selling it? I'm sure somebody will pay big bucks for that thing.
>>24870321
Either way, I'd still be here, since I'm a furry as well.
>>24870718
Selling it, huh? That's a good idea.
>>24870725
Exactly. You can probably buy yourself some, uh, bad dragon things.
>>24870725
Selling Pokemon is wrong, if you don't want it, why not put it up for trade?
>>24871420
Pixel Plate is a pokemon?
>>24871467
I misread, but yeah you shouldn't sell that, it belongs in a museum.
>>24867418
Rubber band around his jaw
Y'all niggas are gay
>thread still up
Mods are gods.
>wake up
>Capt. Alchemy the Beedrill somehow got a massive swarm of venipede again in the house
I think he and the Venipede I caught are starting a war somehow.
As amusing as it sounds, being covered in Venipede isn't exactly fun.
What the hell do I do? I am sort of curious as of what arw they fighting.
>>24873061
Cover the house in Repel
>>24873061
Get the flamethrower.
Just kidding, maybe. Are Bug types attracted to honey and nectar? Try putting honey outside of the house. Or, ensure that there are no brave birds flying anywhere near your home.
>>24873115
I don't think honey is enough to keep them at bay. I mean, there are hundreds of them.
They seem to be very fond of the massive tree on my backyard tho.
Have you guys ever seen a Beedrill pointing and buzzing orders at an army of bugs? Hive mentality is powerful.
>>24871523
Doesn't mean I can't sell it to a museum.
I think the museum in Nacrene would LOVE to have a Pixie Plate, but I know there's a Gym Leader in Kalos who would pay top PokeDollar for one: Valerie.
Unfortunately, I think Valerie is evil incarnate since she's a Fairy Type Gym Leader.
Looks like Nacrene's getting a Pixie Plate.
>>24870974
Why would I buy toys from Bad Dragonite when I have the real thing at my disposal (of course, I'd never admit anything like that here since that would be WAY too lewd)
>>24873115
Actually, Bravest Bird would have a feast.
Anyway, capture a Venipede, because SCOLIPEDE IS AWESOME!.
>>24873252
Have you seen Valerie's eyes?
Creepy as fuck. But you should put your pride aside and sell it to her for top dosh.
>>24873225
Looks like you have a bug colony on your hands.
>>24873272By the way, would you be interested in joining the IRC?
https://qchat.rizon.net/?channels=/vp/oc
https://kiwiirc.com/client/irc.rizon.net/#/vp/oc
http://chat.mibbit.com/?channel=%23/vp/OC&server=irc.rizon.net
>>24873273
That's the one Gym badge I don't have, and I certainly don't want to make it any tougher on me to get it!
Besides, Lenora is an awesome person.
>>24873327
Teach some poison moves to your dragons
>>24873327
Literally dragalge.
Or Hydreigon Flash Cannon.As a monotype user of Dragon, that and scarfed KyuB works charms against fairies. Just if anyone wanted to know.
>>24873330
Going to get a Dragalge for sure. Charizard is a Dragon without needing to actually be a Dragon Type, so that'll give me at least two options... Too bad the other two Dragon Types that take neutral damage from Fairy are off-limits: Dialga and Reshiram.
>>24873311How's the irc?
>>24873618Not gonna lie; pretty quiet. But, we're trying to get more people in.
I wake up every morning to my Pidgeot attempting to become my blanket.
I immediately fall back to sleep.
What do?
>>24873676
Unless it has lice or something, just let it.
>>24873681
Hey, man, I've got a paper trail to run every morning. This is extremely detrimental to my work.
>>24873687
Its a pidgeot
The damn thing shouldn't way a whole lot.
>>24873720
*weigh
still it should be easy to get off.
>>24873720
>>24873739
>87.1 lbs.
>39.5 kg
Yeah, not super heavy, but when you've just woken up, she might as well be a sack of bricks. Yet the real problem is that those feathers are comfy as fuck. She gets really snug while I'm sleeping, tucks my arms under her wings, and then attempts to incubate my body like I'm an egg.
>>24873763
Whats happening is it's general bird stuff
This is a case where she'll just have to deal with you moving out of her grasp.
>b-but it's hard
Every pokemon has a point where you gotta man up against them. Not hurt them or be mean but put your foot down.
Do you cuddle with your pokemon or does your pokemon cuddle with you?
>>24873864
My pokemon try to sleep with me. I woke up this morning to find my Gardevoir in my bed. Flygon and ludicolo we're really mad and pissed off.
Fuck off. Why am I doing what my parents told me to? I wanted to study medicine and now I'm 20 years old going with a Pokémon that I don't fucking want and it's not even evolved after two fucking years.
Anyone would even try to trade it so I can at least try to enjoy this fucking no sense trip? I have a retarded yellow Torchic. It's not even it's regular colour, fuck you dad.
>>24874366
pal, buddy, friend, acquaintance, ma nigga, I don't think you realize how FUCKING RARE a yellow torchic is
as in like, 1 in 8192 FUCKING RARE
0.0122% FUCKING RARE
QUIT BEING SO EDGY AND START FLIPPING YOUR SHIT
Are there any remedial Pokemon training courses available for adults? I didn't get trained in my youth for 'personal' reasons.
>>24873864
I used to let my Growlithe sleep on my bed, but I had to train him to stop doing that when he evolved because trust me, 341.7 lbs of heavy fire dog is not a comfortable way to sleep.
>>24874366
So go to med school if that's what you want to do. You're an adult. Stop wandering around playing games like a 10-year-old and work towards starting your career. Just leave the Torchic with a local professor, someone will want it.
>>24874352
Bullshit, I've contacted the authorities, you sick fucks have gotten so bad the police have had to create a special victims unit for abused Gardevoirs. I hope you rot.
>>24873864
Gengar is extra friendly when I'm trying to go to bed!
...I haven't had a good night's sleep in years and I think the toxin is killing me.
>>24875212
>...I haven't had a good night's sleep in years and I think the toxin is killing me.
Don't worry - That's the fun part.
I'm from Unova, but I'm staying with my relatives in Lavaridge Town for the holidays. This morning, I was looking out the window, and even though I was half-asleep, I swore that I saw something lavender flash across the sky. I've never seen a Pokémon fly that fast. The only Pokémon I could think of that could go that fast would be pic related, but they aren't in Hoenn and they're not lavender. Does anybody have any idea what it might be?
>>24875409
sounds like a troublesome deoxys up to no good up there in the stratosphere
>>24875409
Something lavender?
Uh, maybe a Latios? I've heard they're incredibly rare, but maybe you got lucky enough to spot one!
>>24875409
Mega Latios or Latias. Obviously.
>>24875417
Okay, I just looked Latios up, and the colour matches what I saw perfectly… while Mega-evolved. It turns out that Mega Latias looks exactly the same. Pokémon don't Mega-evolve in Unova, but I've heard enough about it to know that that had to be a TRAINER's Latios/Latias. I'm going to ask my relatives about any trainers they know with one of those Pokémon once they start waking up.
>>24875438
>Pokémon don't Mega-evolve in Unova
They will. Probably starting in 2021 or 2022 or so.
>>24875443
I think Audino can mega evolve.
>>24875446
>>24875438 said "in Unova," not "Pokemon native to Unova." If you're talking about Unova-native Pokemon being able to mega-evolve, expect to see a lot more of those within the next year.
>>24875446
I've seen footage of Audino mega-evolving before, but we don't have Mega Stones or Key Stones in Unova. I actually brought my Audino with me, because I REALLY want to borrow a Key Stone and some Audinite so I can say that I've Mega Evolved a Pokémon before.
>>24875469
>I actually brought my Audino with me
Be careful with that. There aren't normally any Audino in Hoenn, so you're going to have a lot of trainers constantly beating up on you for that sweet, sweet EXP payout.
>>24875203
Well, good thing for me I don't abuse her. So you good anon can go suck a big bag of dicks!
>>24875506
Glad to hear that. So you won't have anything to worry about when the investigators arrive.
![349Feebas[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/CbkwjnV.png "349Feebas[1].png")
>>24873864
I sleep on my Wailord's back sometime
Sleeping on a floating whale is surely fun
>>24873864
It goes both ways. My boys are so warm and comfortable...
I love the way their scales feel against my body...
>>24873864
I used to cuddle with my Chikorita until i realized she was too hyperactive in her dreams.
I learned that the hard way getting an artery cut by a razor leaf she shot in her sleep
>>24875895
That sounds painful.
>>24875983
It isn't. My boys are so comfortable!
Such wonderful Dragon Types!
>>24875983
Dragonairs look pretty smooth, man.
>>24876009
I thought she did it with mons like Garchomp.
Either way, I'd never do it with a Pokemon. Shit's weird, yo.
Hey Eve... How did you end up a Ghost anyway, and did you become a Ghost Type?
>>24876016
Garchomp is indeed one of my Pokémon, but I don't cuddle with him. I prefer to cuddle with either my Dragonite or my Salamence.
>>24873864
When I lived with my little brother, we slept every night with our Tepig. It was really nice to have him in my arms each night, but he always woke me up at 3 AM to let him outside.
Now, I've been trying to sleep with a Joltik I found on a power outlet, but it's way too small to feel like cuddling and I wake up every morning covered in Spider Webs.
It could be worse, though.
They could be Electrowebs.
>>24876026
You become a wandering spirit if you haven't found peace at the time of your death - It's what I am right now.
As for my death...I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say I had a run in with some bad people...
Anyways, we're not actual Ghost type Pokemon, but you'd still need a Silph Scope to see us. We're just spirits.
>>24876091
I don't want that to happen to me... I wanna be a Dragon Type!
>>24876105
Well, don't get too excited.
You might just end up becoming one of us whether you like it or not!
>>24876091
How convenient that you can still interact with a computer. I wouldn't think that a ghost would be able to do that.Except Rotom.
>>24876114
The only way I'd be happy about being a ghost is if I turned into Giratina.
The only thing that trips me up about ghost types is how some of them can breed and have kids,like....how are you born a ghost?
>>24876136
Not all ghost-types are strictly "ghosts," in the sense of being a sort of disembodied spirit. Some are just more typical Pokemon with ghost-like attributes that make them convenient to categorize as ghost-type.
>>24876118
Ghosts can still interact with things and manifest in the living world, but it requires a lot of energy. In other words, we have to return to the spirit world frequently.
We have our own 4chan on the otherside called 666chan, but everybody there just sulks. This place is far more interesting.
>>24876188
That would explain why Ghost Types are weak to themselves!
Guys
I'm in the woods, found a pokemon center but I don't know where I am. I think I have frostbite pretty bad, my skin is all rough and like discolored brown. I must have passed out in the snow while I was hiking because I can't feel anything anymore and when I try to move it's really slow going. My gear and dex are gone. People keep just staring at me when I try to talk to them. Can anyone pinpoint where I am? Help.
>>24873864
I let them just sleep where ever they want.
Depends on mood for them I guess, I gave them specific instructions not to crawl under the covers though (Unless it's fucking cold in the mansion)
This morning I found my Espeon on the foot of my bed with my Honchkrow so its not that bad. The worst I think it was was my Tyranitar and Haxorus thought I could handle the weight.
I almost broke a few bones that night.
>>24876400
Is there any water nearby? Look at a reflection of yourself.
>>24876400
You're fucked.
Pokemon centers aren't places to live, they're shelters, simple roofs over their heads with a cafeteria or soda machines. But if you have frostbite either:
A. You're here in Snowpoint city or near it.
B. You're dumb enough to come to 4chan for help.
C. You're in Icirrus City
I'd contact the authorities first before coming here. I can't wire you cash, man.
>>24876407
It's dark out. I can't see anything clearly, just some trees.
>>24876421
And you haven't talked to anyone in the center because?
>>24876426
I have, they just brush me off like I'm speaking nonsense.
>>24876410
4chan has helped me with advice more than one would expect. I'll probably try calling the snowpoint police.
>>24876467
You must be having some insane nightmare. I've never heard of anything like your case.
>So get this.
>My day starts out as usual, Ludicolo burst into my room shaking her maracas to wake me up, Steelix rolling in the dirt you know normal shit on my ranch.
>Then I get a visit from a Pokemon investigator. >He said that there was an anonymous tip that I was sexual abusing my Gardevoir.
>I freak out and yelled at the man.
>At that time, my Pokemon comes around the corner to check to see what was going on.
>The investigator asked to see Gardevoir and asked a couple of question.
>She scared but I told her it was ok.
>About a half an hour of question, another investigation unit pulled up.
>The asked to examined Gardevoir private parts.
>Houndoom and Steelix get in between Gardevoir and the investigators.
>I told them to step aside and let them do there job.
>They looked at me confused and did what I said.
>Now she really scared.
>All of my Pokemon are now mad.
>Steelix is slamming his tail on the ground. >Houndoom is growling with fire in his mouth >Ludicolo and Flygon are pacing back and forth steering daggers the the men.
>Tauros and the three Spinaraks are pawing at the ground ready to charge.
>Stop it all of you!
>I know how you all are feeling angry but there's nothing we can do. All we have to do is wait.
>I'm just as mad as everyone else, but I have to keep my cool.
>Five minutes has passed and they release Gardevoir.
>But she looks sad and depressed.
>The investigator said the there was no sign that she was sexually abused.
>They apologize for the inconvenience and drove off.
>Go check to see if Gardevoir is ok.
>She's crying
>I give a hug.
>It's ok Gardevoir, your safe now
>The rest of the Pokemon comes and comfort her.
Are you happy now Anon!? You tried to get my Gardevoir taken away from me and now she crying you punk asshole. Just be glad your bitch ass isn't in Johoto.
>>24876467
Pretty sure you died and your spirit was possessed by a Phantump. Sorry, dude, that sucks.
can pokemon with a healer heal smaller injuries? not just status? i mean, looking at it realistically...
>>24876477
wut is this
>>24876477
How sure are you those were investigators? Could have just been perverts.
>>24876467
I wouldn't bother calling the police. I doubt they can help you anymore.
>>24876477
The investigators aren't supposed to do that...
>>24876477
Dude, I think you were fucked with, did you get a badge or ID?
>>24876477
>investigators
You got tricked, m8
>>24876477
Dude, they damaged your property. Sue the pants off of them.
>>24876537
You asked for this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91Hm8Hqp0ys
>>24876472
I hope so. Maybe I got knocked down by a Darkrai?
>>24876482
>>24876488
Don't bait me guys, I'm in a real fix.
>>24876477
Settle down, my Cubone cries all the time. It's just an animal, m8.
>>24876560
Sorry, buddy. Lost in the wilderness, rough brown skin, nobody understands you, see only trees in a reflection... it all makes sense. Just read the Pokedex entry:
>According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.
Honestly though, don't bother worrying about it too much. You've probably only got a few more minutes of this problem. Soon your memories of your former life will completely fade away, and you'll be nothing more than a semi-sentient tree ghost. Maybe you'll get lucky and get captured by a trainer. Well anyway, good luck with your "life," if that's what it can be called.
Guys, I finally did it! I just caught all 150 POKEMON!!!!
>>24860006
Holy Shit, Thread's back
>>24876670
I've got bad news for you...
>>24876685
Don't tell him, let him enjoy enjoy this.
>>24876670
About that... ever heard of mew? Also, see >>24876685
>>24876707
But he needs to know!
>>24876670
Anon, I...
>>24876732
Do you really want to ruin his Christmas?
I have a bit of a problem. I live in Kanto, and I have a Primape and Mankey troop living on my property. Typically, they aren't that difficult to deal with, I just need to bribe them with chesnuts. However, they've recently gotten into a feud with a bunch of Poliwrath and Poliwhirl, and now I'm constantly having to repair walking trails, sheds, fences, bridges, and so on. Is there a way to solve this without either side gettting removed like a genie in Kalos?
>>24877064
Do you know what they're fueding over?
If it's just typical fighting type competition you might be able to spare yourself some headaches by adding a level of structure to their contests.
>>24877064
Find the Alpha males and catch them both, boom. Now you have both tribes under your control and no more feuds to deal with.
>>24877340
Yeah, that's not gonna end well. What you want to do is try >>24877158, and set up some kind of tournament. Get them set up melodramatically, get them to beat the absolute stuffing out of each other, and let one rise victorious. THEN try capturing them.
>>24867418
Take him to a buffet and let him go to town with it. Though your bill might be steep. Happened with my Aggron before.
>>24877367
That sounds like the kind of loser talk a man who doesn't want of two armies of fighting types talks.
>>24877396
No, it sounds like the kind of talk a man who doesn't want to get his head pummeled in by two armies of angry Fighting-types who want revenge for capturing their leaders talks.
so was wondering if ice types are easier to research for science purposes
>>24877064
You're going to need the help of a Psychic Type to deal with that mess.
>>24877467
What type of research specifically? What are you researching?
You can research any and all types, you know. Your question is incredibly vague.
>>24877467
Depends on the research
trying to make a weapon using ice type pokemon
>>24877480
*growls* you do that and you will feel the wrath of a bunch of pissed-off Legendary Fire Types!
well as a member of team rocket fuck you bitches
>>24877480
Team Plasma pls go
>>24877480
I would recommend against that for so, so many different reasons. Pokemon-based weapons just always end poorly.
>>24877064
Honestly, if you're having problems with Pokemon on your property, just call an exterminator. As long as they're wild Pokemon, it's perfectly fine to take more permanent measures.
Quick question: Is it possible for a Pokemon to knock up a human?
This question should end the whole issue with sleeping with Pokemon.
>>24877511
No, the dna between the two species is too different for either one to end up pregnant, that being said, you shouldn't try to as illnesses have been known to transfer that way.Tone it down on the lewd
>>24877511
...I could be wrong, but I think the Humanlike egg group has a very, very low chance. Pokemon with Transform also can, but that's just for the reasons you'd expect.
>>24877518That's just her. It's what she's like.
>>24877533
So any Human-Like Pokemon, Ditto... MEW AND SMEARGLE?!?!?!?!?
>>24877064
>>24877506
A 12ga shotgun with rock salt will scare them off, a 12ga shotgun with 00 buck will get rid of them.
>>24877593
Yes. Mew and SMEARGLE can learn Transform.
>>24877608
I know they can, doesn't mean you should still do it.
>>24877533
>human-like group
>most of it is just barely human
>like fucking Volbeat and Illumise
>>24877655
I said "very, very low chance." I also didn't say that every humanlike Pokemon had the chance. It's just ones like Machop and suchlike. Mainly Fighting-types, they're genetically closest.
>>24877511
I'm actually somewhat interested in the other way around.
ALSO good to see these threads back.
Let's keep lewd to a minimum, please.
>>24877669
I actually looked into that when I was studying at Rustbro Polytech...It's not pretty, they just end up with stillborn bad eggs and the mothers end up really mentally fucked up
Guys my Furret won't wake up. It's been asleep in my sock drawer for the past 2 days. Is this normal?
>>24877709
>Is this normal?
Ah, yes. There's nothing to worry about.
Death is a normal part of life.
>>24877724
Eve, remember that you're the only one here who isn't alive. Think about how the rest of us feel about death.
Otherwise I'm calling Dr. Venkman.
>>24877870
I suppose I can tone it down. I always forget how sensitive the living are about death.
>>24877975
We're not that sensitive. We just want to squeeze as much as possible out of life, and being reminded that there's a time limit on the all-you-can-eat buffet is unpleasant.
>What the fuck, Captcha, bushes are not flowers.
>>24877998
Of course, if Eve is proof that there is life after death, then maybe we can be a bit less sensitive about it.
I'm not gonna worry about that, though.
I've got a life to live first.
Oh, and Eve?
This is just a reminder to keep us living folks in mind.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe93CLbHjxQ
>>24877708
Weren't they testing a potion that can at least allow pokemon from different egg groups to breed? Supposedly thats safer and has had more viable results at opposed to defects.
I'd hope that shit's developed so the lovebirds on my team can be a little happier.
>>24878292
It was working at first, but we started getting some odd results like different colored pokemon...then some born with parts that they shouldn't have.....then stuff I shouldn't say due to having been forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement, hell I've said too much already.Why...why did we try to play God?
>>24877870
Pretty sure someone ITT died while posting a little further up.
>>24878337
Most likely, but there's not much we can do about that, can we?
Well, It took me some time to get internet connection here after moving, but I've done it. Now, I have a much more important question. What would be an optimal boat for fishing in Hoenn? I'm looking at catching about 100 or so a day for culinary purposes.
Hey guys. I was wondering if any of you would be interested in participating in a social experiment involving your pokemon, namely the psychological profundity of the pokeball. I want to tally how strong pokemon who have experienced many battles and are attached to a trainer respond to having their pokeballs destroyed. I'll provide a custom luxury replacement pokeballs after the experiment is concluded, of course. Not to mention generous compensation for participating..
>>24878351
Hm, I don't know anything about boats, but I knew this master fisherman who used a team of Empoleon and nets to capture a ton of fish.
>>24878308
Then what happened to the positive results from theGardevoir and Blazikenexperiment? Supposedly that was the initial test that worked or so it was according to someone I met at Mossdeep AcademyI wanna know because the Blaziken species are cousins of the Empoleon species. I don't think I need to explain anymore.OCC: Im not pushing to go too far on this subject.
>>24878381
Well, I'm rather unsure as to how I could attain 6 Empoleon in Hoenn. It would be much cheaper to get a large boat. Do you anyone in, say, Slateport that can give me a hand?Why is it so hard to find decent wifi in Hoenn?
>>24878408
You aren't gonna find Empoleon anywhere in Hoenn.
I got a cousin in Slateport though for your boat.
I'll shoot him a message, say the phrase"Adam has a nice team of 30"so he knows I sent you. Go to the southern-most pier and then look for a Red Cargoship. The captain's my cousin and he can probably hook you up.
If you need anymore give aways the guy has a Greninja and his name's Gunnar
Holy cuntdrilling fuck, the latest edition of these threads managed to last more than a day without getting pruned? It's a Christmas miracle. Mods must be on their meds.
Also I tried joining the IRC but somebody's already taken my usual name. Huh.
Wait. What's this thing about some guy dying in the woods, coming back as a Phantump and trying to tell us about it on 4Chan? More importantly, I never knew Phantumps coukd use keyboards. You'd think cute little stumpy arms and the stump helmet would impede that.
Anyway, merry fucking Christmas Eve you guys. How long do you think it's going to take until /a/ is flooded with reports of weeabooa screaming that their backyards and streets are filling up with Tang?
If you excuse me, I need to find a new Christmas tree before my parents wake up.
>>24878434
Well, now that I'm in good company, I suppose I can lighten up a bit. Anyway, I'll have to wait a few days for the boat. In the meantime, I'll have to acquire some industrial-grade freezers, some Moomoo milk, and the will to order from a major meat supplier, because there's absolutely no way that any of the pokemon on the nearby routes are edible.
>>24878500
Fuck my life now I can't even type correctly. Oh well, at least I got dubs compared to yesterday when I missed out on a dub and then a trip consecutively, both times by a single number.
>>24878500
Happy Christmas eve to you too.
>>24878363
Team Rocket pls.
>tfw venipede swarm all over the yard
>swinub population all over the place
Snuggiest place ever.
>>24878547
Huh. Venipede swarming in the middle of winter.
Then again, when I think about it it's not too out of the ordinary when you have to put up with a Sylveon drinking out of and sleeping in the shower recess in the dawn of winter.
'nova really does some weird stuff to mons.
>>24878391
After the failures occurred, weThis comment has been redacted by the Hoennese government, any and all information pertaining to the subject at hand has been deleted, attempts to seek this information are punishable by law.And that's all I can say on the matter.
>>24878547
Sorry, you're mistaken. 'R' stands for research administrator.
>>24878608
Is the R crimson/vermillion and composed of jagged lines?
>>24878618
Mmnnno.
>>24878666
Nice try. Trips never lie, unlike you.
So this is mainly a question for anyone that's owns a Gardevoir.
So I decided to go out and get a few groceries today and left my two Gardevoirs at home. They're both sisters and have never been separated since they were Ratls'. So when I left I assumed they'd keep each other company while I was out. However when I got home, I could heave what sounded like a mix of squawking and Garde like hooting. When I opend the door the two of them immediately make a sound like an opera singer dragging out a high note, before they both dog pilled me. My apartment isn't small but it isn't huge either, and while nothing was out of place, my bedroom was all but trashed. All of my clothes, dirty laundry and towels were dumped out and piled onto my bed and I could tell they'd been lying on the bed. Now I can't even go near the door without them dashing over and latching onto me.
Now I know that you probably shouldn't leave your Gardevoir alone for too long but the grocery store is only a ten minute walk away from my apartment, and I was only gone for about twenty of thirty minutes. All of the other websites I've gone to say basically the same thing about not leaving your Garde along for more than six hours, otherwise they'll start having anxiety issues. But I didn't even leave them alone and I've never heard of a Gardevoir losing it's shit and hoarding all of your stuff into one spot.
Not sure if this is an issue that they've had and I just didn't know about or what. But any advice would be a huge help
>>24878837
They probably got in a fight or were annoyed with a bird pokemon.
Also why the hell would you punish yourself with two Gardevoir? Its bad enough having one (trust me), finding a way around her little "clinginess" was thankfully easy.
To all Gardevoir owners, take note:
Find that bitch someone else to like. I can't put it anymore bluntly. They'll see you to be loyal with but if you find them a partner to love, they'll reduce alot of the stress off of you.
>>24878837
Have you raised them from the moment they hatched? If a mon's allowed to bond with you like you're its fucking surrogate parent then it's not uncommon for them to completely piss a bitch about not being able to get to you. It's kind of a side effect of a symbiotic relationship between a supernatural lifeform and another lifeform with extreme levels of potential emotional energy.
ESPECIALLY Fairy-types. Just try keep them in their balls when you go out and keep their balls with you. It might help. My only real experience with this stuff is my Sylveon. He got locked out of the house once by accident by my stepdad and he was apparently making a huge ruckus on the front lawn like it was the fucking rapture.also i forgot to turn anon back on while posting on another thread so yeah this thing's doom is imminent sorry
>>24878885And of course, I forget to turn it off then. Along with just missing out on quads.
>>24878857
The thing is, is that I don't have any pirds. The only flying type I've ever had was a Noivern, who's happily living with my parents in Kalos. And the squawking wasn't bird like, it sounded more like the noises they usually make but more high pitched.
And on another note, as far as I could tell when I first caught them, they were sisters, and it didn't feel right separating them, which is an entirely different story. But as far as the clingyness goes, this is the only time they've ever been super clingy. Maybe if they weren't sisters, then it'd be a different story.
>tfw there is a fight between Venipedes and Sewaddles near the tree they are protecting
I fucking swear the house shaked when the Vens came out, followed by an angry af Beedrill.
Is this Bug War III
Pokemon rehabilitator/doctor here, I'm on holiday vacation (with some work sprinkled in for good measure) in Courmarine City visiting family. My only complaint is that I wish it wasn't raining.
And my Pokemon are happy. I suppose I should be thankful that the both Leagues cleared travel for the baby Archen and clutch of baby Noibats (part of my work) my Archeops is taking care of, he would've had a heart attack if he had to leave 'em at home.
hey Alfred I can remove the bugs for you just give me your location
>>24878899
Dude, you're in for one autistic Christmas. Don't have honey nearby.
>>24878905
Most parents would freak if they had to ditch their kids while they were on the other side of the planet.
>>24878907
Bugs are total bros tho. I already catched one, and the swarm leader is my Beedrill.
I'm just baffled at the ammount of bullshit they can do.
Also they cozy af.
>>24878885
Not since they hatched, but I figured as much that me not being there stressed them out. What really worries me is how they managed to turn my room upside down and piled all my shit onto my bed. What's weirder still, is that all of my pokemon know how to get out of their balls on their own and they're both pretty close with my Kadabra, and why they didn't at least try to get him out makes me worried that they're more clingy than I had previously though (which is even weirder considering we've been together for twelve years now).
>>24878899
>Is this Bug War III
Make a movie
I'll get the camera I can smell a pokestar studios winner
>>24878940
Yeah, but I can't just start on part III.
This isn't Star Wars, whereStormtrooper #291 dies
>>24878920
The odd thing is that the only one that's actually his is the Archen. The Noibat babies are being raised by him (and myself, of course) until they can be released into the wild or adopted out to responsible Trainers, whichever is better in the long run.
The Noibats are also a part of the work I mentioned earlier, the League sent them to me to be rehabilitated because some fucking poachers killed their mother and almost torched their nest.
And this isn't the first time my Archeops has fostered a brood, he's my go-to foster parent whenever I get baby Flying-types that are too young to be released or placed up for adoption.
>>24878930
Jeez. I have another guess, but it's really stupid. There MIGHT be a possibility that something incredibly fucked up is going to happen to you. You might want to ask them and your Kadabra if they've been peeking into the future, for any reason. Even if it is just to watch movies before they're even thought of by the guys who will make them. There are a number of Psychic-types who will render people into paraplegic mungshowers if they are confident it will help avoid a potential tragic future for the peoplw they care about.
>>24878973
So, you're saying that they're freaking out about something bad in the future happening to me? And they're worried that they won't be there to stop it?
>>24878955Speaking of Star Wars the faggots over at /r/4chan spoiled who dies in ep VII for me because it was in the pagebar.
>>24878957
Surrogacy does wonders, man. They're not his flesh and blood, but they are his babies.
>>24878992
Possibly. Just ask them if something about you is bothering them and see how they respond. If they can't do it telepathically they might be able to make you hallucinate some sort of picture or vision or something.
Anyone here been to the holon region? Im curently on a reserch trip reserching the posible conection between the delta species anomaly and mega evolution. im answering questions if anyone has any.
Anybody know where my Riolu can go to play safely? I can go with it if needed.
>>24879432
Dude, it's Christmas Eve. Ditching your Riolu somewhere is homicide by any other name.
Anyway, where are you? How festive are the places near you? Because if it's getting to the point where flashing lights and obnoxiously loud singing is commonplace despite the fact the earliest this planet is going to see tomorrow is in about two hours, you might want to reconsider your options for a while.
I just woke up from resting with the flu virus and this asshole was in my backyard.
What is it? Does anyone know?
>>24879937
Beats me. Probably just a mon that the government won't give five fucks about until two years from now.
>this thread
How can people be so fucking autistic? Inb4 le where do you think you are xd
>>24880153
>le where do you think you are
And that's what in English?
>>24879764
Nevermind, he's asleep, it's 1:40am here. Needed to know a good location because tomorrow is christmas and might want to take him somewhere fun.
Or just Turkey and chill.
"Mmm. Hawlucha, you know I love it when you eat my asshole."
>Bought the fallout 4 soundtrack
>At wafflehouse with Zoroark
>Snowstorm coming down like crazy
>christmas everywhere since is christmas eve
>alone for once aside from aforementioned pokemon
>Im efficient at making sure he doesnt run off to pull shenanigans
How can it possibly be anymore /comfy/?
>>24880557
Speaking of Fallout, I just finished Dead Money.
It's bullshit but I love it. Hardest shit ever scavenging for food that does shit when your survival is 13.
Also my mons are looking for the presents. Suckers will never find em.
>>24880930
Yours do that too, huh? Do any of them take the liberty of levitating you up until you're squashed against the ceiling so you can't do anything to stop them?
Meowstic pulled that trick last year back when she was an Espurr. It was because I told her and Swampert that my parents would've liked to see them open their gifts after they got back from that ill-fated visit to my step-grandfather's house.
And that's why I had to start collecting badges. I just hope she isn't trying to do something right now. I accidentally killed the tree last nigt and now I've been out for hours on Braviary trying to find a replacement before tomorrow rolls around. Last I checked she was just trying to advance her asshole run on P3P.
>>24881001This name bullshit never ends. It's only a matter of time before I do something that makes me the next Chris-chan.
>>24880930
I HATED dead money
I liked the design of the ghosts but talk about boring. Yeesh.
>>24881001
My Espeon tried it. Thankfully I have a Dusknoir whose a good sport
>>24881250
It was awful for me, since you couldn't sleep to heal limbs so my usual approach of "slap stimpaks every few hits" wouldn't work, and the suckers didn't have food until you get the perk.
I shit you not, my Survival and Lockpick got from 20ish to 100 by the end. But the plot is so worth it, plus snagging the goldbars in front of his face is fun.
>>24881001
Nah, just shit flying all over to try and find them. These things aren't even close.
>>24881328
Sounds cool. I totally have to borrow my sister's copy of New Vegas sometime.
>>24881098What name are you trying to use?
I came back and all my pokemon were acting weird, can someone tell me what's going on?
It's lonely, being alone on Christmas Eve. I gave everyone else my cheer, and now noone is here to share theirs.
>>24881556Oh, it's not that. I just keep forgetting to turn namefagging back on.
>>24881587
Depends. Is your pic relevant?
>>24881602
Yes
>>24881610
Have you ever heard of the birds and the bees? I suggest you do some research.
Fucking kill yourselves, you're pathetic
>>24881840
Someone got coal in their stocking.
>>24881624
Ironic, that. A ghost talking about creating life...
On that note, do you have any ... living descendants?
>>24881624
>>24881893
And asking as a breeder myself,
if two ghosts produce an egg, is the offspring living or born undead? Is the egg considered alive in any way?
>>24881897
>>24881893
I had an older brother back when I was alive. But, that must have been some twenty years ago. It's hard to remember...I'm still only recalling foggy memories from life and there's no concept of time here in the spirit world.
...I just feel a faint connection towards him, but that's all I feel. I guess I'll remember someday, if I don't pass on before that.
>>24881897
That's a tricky question. But, Ghost types born from eggs are still considered 'alive' because they weren't manifested by a spirit of the deceased. Instead, they were born from an actual process that creates life. It's strange, but they all get treated the same, undead or not.
>>24881943
Okay! If you ever want help with breeding your ... living ghosts...
Well, thats a bit strange and I do charge for my services but you know where to find me! (Actually probably not. I haven't given my place of residence and I travel all the time)
Man this is some weird shit
>>24881943
Oxymoronic mortality?
>>24881952
Ah, sure. I don't have a purpose for money anymore, but if you ever need Golurk to lend you a hand with anything, it would be more than happy to help.
And, if you ever want to take a trip to the spirit world, give me a call. Although, I can't guarantee a way out once you've gone in~
>>24878857
Especially if you get your female Gardevoir a Gallade to keep her company.
>>24880930
I put my presents in my PC's item storage space, that way home of my Pokemon, aside from my Porygon-Z, can get to them.
