Shouldermon Randomizer
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http://randompokemon.com/
You are assigned a single shouldermon at birth and required to live with it as your partner for protection and companionship until you're 18.
Tell me, /vp/. How fucked is your childhood?
>>24802422
>Until you're 18.
Underage ban!
>>24802422
>Xatu
Hell yeah, motherfucker.
>Trubbish
I never had friends as a kid in real life either.
>Quagsire
Dude, that's my favorite Pokémon. Life couldn't be better.
>>24802422
>Bidoof
Totally Fucked
>Regigigas
>>24802467
Carrying a Quagsire on your shoulder sounds exhausting.
>>24802422
>Joltik
Holy shit, I am totally ok with this
Could be worse, I guess.
>>24802502
you need to get to the gym if you can't backpack carry 165Lbs.
>>24802451
>implying you aren't being de-aged for this scenario.
Well...
>Dragonair
Well, it can wrap around my body and show its head upon my shoulder.
Noice belt I guess.
>>24802451
There's ironic shitposting, and then there's shitposting that's simply, unironically bacon-wrapped in dead brain cells.
Anyways
>sassy black cofagrigus who don't need no mate
>mummifies me everytime i do something wrong
shit hurts, better call child protection services.
>Magmortar
Serious Pupitar sounds like it could be fun.
>>24802422
Well, I didn't want an arm anyways.
>Regirock
>You have died. Game over.
>Restart with same character?
Nice
>lax shaymin
It'd be cute but I'd probably be called out for DUDE WEED LMAO
>Diglet
>shoulder
K
>>24802776
24/7 420, Shaymin'll probably suck all that shit up literally
Could not have gone better.
venipede. small enough for little me to handle easily and if it ever evolves into scolipede i'll have the coolest bug mount
Ferroseed. Fuck this is going to hurt.
Not too bad, but it would be more of a forearm-mon. Or headmon. Both would need protection, though, or I'm fucked.
>>24802422
>Quiet Sudowoodo
Now nobody talks to me AND I don't have any arms.
Eh it's not that heavy but i guess i could carry it on my shoulders despite being 1 meter long.
At least it can float. I think I'm pretty safe
Am I screwed?
I'm not sure what to think.
Cherrim. It may be useless, but it's not likely to dislocate my shoulder.
>honedge
Alright, that works. Honedge, and eventually Aegislash would be a great protector.
>Larvitar
I'll take it
Strangly enough, I got the blackest, most metal shouldermon of all.NOTHING!
>relaxed Venomoth
Not bad, until I inhale poisonpowder and die.
>Vanillite
Well I do prefer the cold
all the kids always picked on me for having a fetus on my shoulder
>>24802422
Goldeen.
Mmm, I've always wanted a goldfish.
>>24802422
>Dragonair
Alright, not bad.
Sliggo.
Gross.
Dragonite... I'm dead, right?
>>24805376
Got goomy.
Hold me, slimebro.
Oh boyyyyy.
Hop on, buddy.
Thank you, Satan.
>>24802422
Quiet Shaymin. Not bad.
>espurr
Well, they do say owners and their pets are often similar.
Or whatever Pokemon-related version of that saying no doubt exists.
>>24802422
>Zoroark
Eh, it's fine.
>>24802422
Feeling good about potentially being good.
>Deoxys
ayy lmao
Shit, it's the guardian angel I needed.
>>24802422
Dang. I got Rhyhorn. I just wish that it gets a pre-evolution so I can even lift it to shoulder level.
In all honesty, I might be the 'shouldermon' if I can't.
haha.feels
Gentle Budew doesn't seem like a good guardian but I'm ok with this.
>>24802422Damn it.
>>24802422
>Timid Voltorb
F-fuck...
>>24802422
>without natures
ferroseed
Painful life...
>natures included
docile braixen
better WAY BETTER COME ON MAN FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>24802422
I accidentally generated six, but I'll go with the first one. I'm really happy with Mew as a shoulderbro!
>>24806246
Kek
>SandshrewVery cute, but I'll never win a single battle.
>>24805701
>naughty
>>24802422
>docile ralts
Good or bad?
>>24802422
I'm good
>meowth
I just got the free money code for life. I can teach it to talk too
>>24807220
>Shouldermon
>Vaporeon
Literally my all time fave pokemon, i aint got no complaints
though i kinda wish it had been a tailow. i think he wouldve been easier on the shoulder
Sylveon. I'll feel pretty.
>Shiftry
I'm actually okay with this.
And thus, my childhood of kicking ass begins.
>>24802422
>Magnemite
>shoulder
Ehhhhh
Well my childhood is great except I dont think I can go near computers which is a problem.
