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>>322023845
I can't make RCT2 sound shitty.
It's shit.
A bunch of autists pretend they understand the legal system of a fictional universe
>>322023845
bespectacled woman beats everyone up with her armpit hair
>>322023845
It's Dota 2.
The graphics are shit, the combat is fucking atrocious, and the game is full of assholes.
>>322023845
>good level design
>deep lore
>the great music
>everything can and will one hit kill you
A western RPG where they barely even pretend that your choices matter.
You work your ass off to get a bunch of neon spandex-clad assholes really powerful, only to get surpassed by some dude who never left the starting area and paid people to abuse a custom mission system, and then it turns out you're both retarded because the plug gets pulled on the damn game and now all of your time and effort means nothing.Every day without it is more suffering, why did it have to die ;_;
>>322025986
You described every RPG
>>322025512
Okay now I'm curious.
>>322023845
bunch of high-schoolers run around and try to save the world.
pretty edgy
waifus and japanglish soundtrack abound
A dumbass game where you invade a sovereign nation for money and somehow all of the worlds powers with their infinite weapons have to rely on fucking you
>story about two boys with daddy issues
>combat rewards you for wasting your time
>puzzles that fuck up the pace
>shit camera
>terrible platforming
>chess pieces
>>322026497
Isn't that just every JRPG?
>>322023845
All you do is fucking jump.
Jump over there
Jump on this asshole
Every once in a while you swim and climb but fuck that shit, so fucking tedious
Also the fuck is up with that stupid fucking pixel art style? I mean fuck.
>>322026648
Chess pieces gave it away.
>>322023845
Looks like shit, even though it's quite old it didn't look good back then I guess. That's what you get when 15 germans are making it for scraps.
The game is buggy and clunky as fuck, most people give up due to terrible controls. Combat is pretty shitty too. Not the best story or voice acting. Difficulty spikes can ruin experience for the unprepared.
My top 3
>RPG with platformer elements until it became a platformer with RPG elements
>Pre Waifu Simulator it was just weeaboo chess
>Saturday morning cartoon as a Turn based strategy
>>322026759
some are notably less edgy than others
>>322026850
They're too bad not to mention.
You jump around with a meme character.
You're a mailman who delivers his package late.
You fight a bunch of grenade spamming pricks across half the continent only to be nearly killed by some ass with a handgun.
You wander around a bunch of damp caves.
>>322025512
Either KOTOR.
>>322025512
Space Station 13?
>terrible music
>terrible graphics
>terrible gameplay
>stupid story
You play as a mailman with missing brain matter
Some fat asshole with an eye disease steals food from some nigger and he and his nephew go get it back
>>322023845
You play as an idiot who participates in a gameshow and you constantly have to look after your daughter, like, every 5 minutes.
And then the most cliche thing happens and there's zombies. You pick random shit that's laying around and throw it.
Eventually you also get in stupid fights against a postman and two sluts among others.
Also the controls are really shitty and even moving is a pain in the ass.
>>322027048
New Vegas?
>>322025512
Morrowind
>>322023973
Manage employees and pay off your loans while making sure the grass gets cut, vomit gets swept, and the merry-go-round doesn't fall apart for the 18th time.
>You play as a low res nigger
You play as a dumb kid at summercamp who has to solve everybody's emotional problems because they're too fucking dumb to do it themselves
>>322027240
Yes
>>322025512
Risk of Rain?
>>322026759
Only modern ones. Some older JRPGs actually featured adults. It was crazy.
>>322027204
Really? I like the games but Dead Rising 2 is your favorite game?
Of all time? You've never played a better game than Dead Rising 2?
>>322027170
New vegas
So you're on this alien planet killing shit like dragons and monsters and a head in a jar and if you're good enough you find out you had a vagina the whole time
>bugs everywhere
>technically broken
>half the time you'll be reloading areas just so the game isn't ruined
>freezes every hour or so
>was only financially successful because of it's name banking off of the then-latest and greatest casual faggot FPS
>>322025079
Ace Attorney? VNs aren't games anon
>>322026648
>>322026850I don't get it.
Wind's howling
you repair a ship because you were in a long distance relationship for some time and want to get some pussy
you decide to go snooping around in a really isolated city and come across these little shit girls that you can kill if you want to, but you dont have to
youre tasking with helping a bunch of faggots who tell you to "go here" and "do this" while some madman always thwarts your plan and makes it a huge waste of time
oh yeah and its all underwater which youd think is cool but the novelty wears off in the first five minutes
>>322026885
I wanna say you're talking about E.Y.E. but that was made by French devs.
>>322027456
I have, but if it was for that I would just pick the objetively best game I owned.
DR2 is just a 6/10 for me but it's my favorite anyway.
Some niggers self insert into disney movies
So you play as this gay dinosaur and if you get hit this mother fucking kid doesn't shut the fuck up.
Should have just eaten the faggot when he landed on your back.
>>322025512
deus ex
>>322023845
Your only directive is to kill yourself.
You grind the same shit for 100 hours to make equips so that you can grind the next shit for 100000 hours to make better equips.
You're a furry in a plane and everyone spouts memes
>>322026009
pls leave
>>322027673
kangdom hearts mang
>>322027590DMC3 has chess piece enemies. They're not fun to fight.
You have amnesia and some coincidences imply you're the chosen one and you save the world.
An ancient evil died and another ancient evil hascome. You'll get shit on by smug NPCs and die a lot.
You spend more time trying to look cool than actually playing the game
>>322023845
your weapon is too big and you swing it like a fucking spastic
eventually you win but you have to do it again, sometimes with other people
you can make shit too but it takes forever
An RPG where everything is bad except for the gameplay and music.
>>322027821
OH, alright, thanks. Haven't played DMC in such a long time.
people manipulate you and you are sad
>>322027947
Most MMOs are nothing but thinly veiled dressup games
Some stupid rip-off of ghostbusters but with the king of second bananas
Not my favorite since I can't choose one, but it's the last one I am playing
RNG simulator with no real strategy other than hide like a bitch and wait for enemies to fuck up their position, you can immediately fail a mission if RNG decides to make everyone panic like a retard, especially in early game and deaths are permanent
>>322027541
Even worse,Ace Attorney Online
Game made by some tin-foil-hat-wearing autistis that looks and sounds like everyone involved was hungover.
>>322028036
Monster Hunter?
>>322028257
yes
>>322023845
a disney reject swordsman gets cucked, fails a bromance, and gets shot to shit trying to save his mentally handicapped closet lover.
>>322025304
bayoonetta? excuse me, gotta fap to some fanfic hentai
>>322028229
Deus Ex
You beat really hard enemies and never get any reward or satisfaction for it
>>322026885
>>322027620
Gothic 2
>>322025512
Gothic
A man comes to a new land by accident and enslaves the colourful natives to retrieve machine parts, treasures and fruit
>>322028354
Kingdom hearts?
>>322028036
Monster Hunter
>You have to pay to travel anywhere that isn't on foot
>Sometimes there's too much shit to explore
>The main quest starts out with you running errands for some drug addict that lives in a shack
>Just about every npc is an asshole to you
>Hardly any voiced dialogue
>Weapons break hilariously easy
>Quest givers give vague as fuck instructions like "You'll see a large rock after walking for a bit, go east and you'll find it, maybe"
>>322028594
No, but same company. Here's another hint:
>worlds shittiest levelling system. its literally RNG
Fuckawful camera and bland levels make fighting the same handful of enemy types over and over again even more boring. The game has cheesy minibosses that literally spawn midlevel based on RNG.
Generic stop the evil armies of orcs and dragons and various other satans with artificial difficulty that means you have to grind your ass off until things stop one-shotting you. The progressively more jewish point requirements for training skills make the latter even worse. The game gets worse as you get further in, and the final act is a linear dungeon crawl with copy-pasted trash mobs. Also, the voice acting fucking sucks.
>>322028204
Those AAO threads are attracting a lot of people, uh? Just finished spectating some memes in area 0
Short, dull, gimmicky game that relies on violence to appeal to "hardcore" fans.
TOO HARD
DEVELOPERS MAKING IT WORSE
OMG BROKEN RNG
Wait that's actually what /v/ posts about it are like
>>322028581
Aww yiss, Pikmin.
wiffwiffiwffiwffiwffiwffiwffiwffiwff
a fat fucking jew made this piece of shit game. retards, little kids, and letsplayers eat this shit up too. it attracts massive autism and modders made it even more autistic. how the fuck can anyone play this shit?REALLY LAZY FUCKING GRAPHICS.
>>322028354
The last story?
>>322028456
Demon's souls
>>322028581
Dark Cloud?
Another generic group of 4 kids saving the world bullshit. You have to go to lighthouses. Lots of backtracking and puzzles, on top of an annoying as fuck encounter rate. At least the music is good.
>>322028989
Meincraft.
All the combat is slow, the game is a grind, best gear is from the most bullshit bosses.
>>322028936
Dankest Dungeon. The only thing I don't like about the game is that for some reason your party members are retarded and forget they have healing spells until someone is trying to stab them in the face.
>>322029020
No >>322028948 He got it
>>322028936
Dankest Dungeonthey're right
>>322028410
Yup
It's a fucking meme game
>>322029020
Not the last story, no. I played TLR and liked it, is The Last Story on PC though?
>game hint #2:
how the fuck do they expect you to be able to watch the ending? people keep putting bowls of onions under my face when I try.
>>322029176
Underfags plz go
All you do is click circles
You fight a lot of stereotypes as some little 5'7" manlet from Brooklyn.
>>322029064
yes
>lots of grinding basically required
>repetitive gameplay
>random generation leads to possibly unfair levels
>"muh feelz" story, not sure if this is a con
The entire game takes place in the exact same area. Every single level besides the first and last few take place on a single zeppelin. Its a horror game with no scares. The combat is wonky and hitboxes are off. The majority of what comes out of the main characters mouth is UGUU SO KAWAII gasps.
>>322023845
It's an RNG shitfest. You might as well just flip coins instead of playing this game. Also the story is the same every time.
Buggy as fuck opren world FPS, the NPCs repeat their lines all the fucking time and it costs the world to repair anything.
>>322023845
space super trooper falls into good/evil dichotomy and fucks aliens and travels to barren rocks to pick up weapon mods that are only marginally better than the ones you had
albino stitch has to save a racist tree.
>>322029282
No the other one
walking simulator of greece
>>322029295
Freedom Fighters
>>322028768
God Hand?
>>322028932
Every clover/platinum game ever.
RIP clover.
>>322028936
Darkest dungeon
>>322028989
Minecraft.
What do you even see in that game?
>>322028986
Thief 2?
You have to go around saving some clueless fucks from monsters that just happen to show up for no reason. The game ranges from hilariously easy to fucking bullshit in terms of platforming. You have to pay for your abilities, which means if you didn't find enough money, you have to go back like a fucking retard. Also, your sidekicks are some kind of goat and a cheetah.
>>322029583
portal ripoff?
>>322029619
I play minecraft with friends on a personal server. it's alright to just fuck around with while we wait for everyone to get together for d&d night.
>tfw forever dm.
>>322028354
tfw noone will ever get this.
You play as some loser guy, and you have to go all around town to do his fucking chores. Plus everybody in the game is going to give you shit for no reason at some point
>>322029595
no, think older
>>322029997
Freedom Veterans
>>322023845
QTEs
Specifically you have to wiggle the left stick
>>322029583
Talos principal.
>>322029506
Ori and the blind forest.
Good one.
>>322029454Dragon's Dogma
Can't wait for the PC release.
>>322030091
Oops ignore my i
>>322026969
third is obviously pokket monsteru
>>322029894
Is it Nier?
>>322029997
Punch Out
>>322030091
Wonderful 101?
It's a Star Wars game from the prequels era
>>322029894
ff7cc?
>>322030297
Episode 1 racer?
>>322030301
Yes.
>>322030280
Last guy
Same dev, didn't know they put it in their other games
It crashed before being able to finish character creation
>>322027947
runescape
Go around throwing little fucks and picking random shit 201 times.
>>322030280
Yes, Punch-Out
>>322027771
space fox
>>322029730
>>322030094
nay on the walking simulator
>>322030594
Close enough
>>322023845
A group of Japanese teenagers and some Brazillian dude argue about the merits of communism and capitalism.
>>322030814
Devil Survivor 2
GIRLS JUST WAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT
TO BEAT
THE
BOOOO-OOOOOOYS
>>322028653
morrowind
>>322030363
Bullseye
>>322030410
shit, now I have no idea.
>>322029961
Animal crossing?
>>322026969
Second is Fire Emblem
Is the firstPaper Mario?If not I'm totally clueless
>>322031439
>Animal crossing?
Nope
In fact I'd say that's like the total opposite of the kind of game I'm thinking of
>>322025304
Bayo.
>>322025512
I wouldn't agree but it's probably Undertale.
>>322025986
Current trigger flavor of the month: Fallout 4.
>>322026969
I'm guessing...
>Indivisible, probably not
>Fire Emblem
>Pokémon
>>322027016
Shantae or Shovel Knight.
>>322027132
Your favorite game.
>>322030485
lol, Fallout 4.
>>322029961
Layton?
>>322030969
Yup.
Your parents take you to some art museum and they end up leaving you, taking some other kid instead, or you tell your friends to fuck off and you survive.
>>322031558
Postal 2?
>>322027479
Super Metroid
Ez
You spend literally half the game in menus modifying stats that don't have benefit during gameplay. The rest of the game is spent doing quests to unlock better versions of those useless stats.
>>322031558
Megaman battle network?
That's my last guess.
>>322031974
Is there a save with all outfits unlocked somewhere?
I really want to dress up Lightning but I don't want to play the game.
Some angry guy possesses a girls body and kills dozens upon dozens of people to find some sword. The final boss is the angry deciding to desecrate a statue
>>322025684
Some shmup game
>>322031801
Actually I was just writing Metroid not Super Metroid.
Half point
>>322029176
STANDING HERE
![postal_dude_by_kouno_b-d3hgatg[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/WGtYU2p.png "postal dude by kouno b-d3hgatg[1]")
>>322031716
>>322032056
Sorry, you lose
>>322031762
Bingo
>>322032245
No, fuck off.The game starts you with the best outfit in the game, Equilibrium. The first couple quests get you the best accessories in the game: the black frenchie hat in that webm, and the scholar's glasses.
>>322023845
Shitty 2.5D "MM"ORPG with tiresome combat and non-existant leveling system
I have two, and they're not really my ABSOLUTE favorites.
A gaggle of illiterate mental defects wielding junk made to look like weapons dance with each other in the gravel-sufficient southwest for 16 straight hours.
A nasal-sounding boy/girl with a dildo for a hairstyle befriends a blue toilet sponge with teeth in a PCP-induced trek through a post-apocalyptic castle designed by children; here, he learns how to assume the forms of his slaughtered enemies by retrieving their souls through his paint brush of unending power.
>>322032713
tf2?
>>322032840I bet you a thousand dollars you'll never get the second one.
You play some fat fuck who needs to save the world from some faggots who came from a anime sword from the sky. Every time you level up you can only pick 1 of 3 options and have to kill the same shit over and over.
>>322029438
rule of rosemfw i found every fucking collectible with that retarded dog[/spoileer]
>>322032713
That second one sounds interesting.
>>322023845
Tumblr : the game, but with 4chan memes
>>322023845
You walk down hallways until you get game over
>>322023845
You and an old pedophile constantly blow up the world for all eternity
3 games but fuck you
Your main weapon is a farm tool
>>322033159
shovel knight
It's incredibly hard to marry any waifu in this game because the RNG fucks you over.
>>322023845
It's like a class based shooter, except the shooting mechanics are shit and no one like them.
>>322033605
Also, as a result, no one actually shoots often in the game
Your a loser who ran away from his parents to be with even bigger losers and weirdos at a summer camp.
>>322034058
Psychonauts
>>322034159
yep
>>322032508
That was good.
I gotta replay Postal 2 sometime soon.
>>322032713
This sounds like kirby canvas curse
>>322033152
>You walk down hallways until you get game over
Stanley Parable
>Tumblr: the game but with 4chan memes
YO YO SMOOTHIE TIME
You kill your best friends and you punch God, but you actually just punch God's face so not really. Also you ingest bugs to make yourself strong.
>>322033478
Rune factory IV
>>322033605
>>322033776
CS:GO?
>>322034298
Nocturne
>>322034298
NocturneI'm still assravaged about SMT x FE being total weeaboo shit
>>322034442
>bingo
>>322034297
>kirby canvas curse
Nope, try again.
You're given your first pet and then go out into the world and kill animals with said pet and kill other peoples pets. The owners are super ok with it and give you money if you do it.
>>322034550
I am too, Anon. Like three years without a whimper aside from "If I talk more about it, I will lose my job." Fuck whoever made #FE.
>>322023845
Imagine the tedium of court semantics and law with "completely original" 8 bit music. That's Phoenix Wright.
>>322034656
pokeman
two monkeys try to save another monkey
>>322026776
Mario
>>322034965
DKC2
You play as an overpowered newfag who ultimately shits on all the oldfags. The only man you can trust is a furry.
The game is also bugged theme park shitfest.
>>322033478
>not save scumming event days
Why would you do that to yoursef?
Two autistic kids team up to save the future from a clown and a rabbit that lives on the moon.
>>322027616
Bioshock
>>322027179
Donkey Kong Country
>>322027674
Yoshis island
>>322033048
Mario rpg
Some jerk with experimental tech runs around southern Russia beating up X-Men and other gay Russians to steal some bank account information to be super-rich.
>>322027712
soc
>>322035684
Dark Cloud 2?
You are a military leader with a squad of retards who throw rocks and bump into each other.
>>322028194
>tfw too hard
Easy mode :Ayylmao
You get cucked and die, then your kid gathers an army of children to kill everyone before the ancient evil awakens.
>>322037240
XCOM
A few I've been playing recently.
>not a single redeemable character except the main antagonist
>outdated turn based combat
>world map is poorly designed, only an overhaul would fix it
>sequel to a yume nikki ripoff
>you're a powerful wizard but you can't move more than 5 feet to the left or right
>the devs were so lazy that they made the bugs features and gave you tools to exploit them
>everyone is lying to you so you have no fucking idea what's going on
>you fall
>that's it
>>322037797
Yes
>>322037940
>you fall
>that's it
Alternating lowercase and capitals A's
>>322037940
>you're a powerful wizard but you can't move more than 5 feet to the left or right
Solstice?
>>322026010
City of heroes?
Asshole has a mental breakdown then maybe kills himself or leaves.
>>322032249
Muramasa
>>322038402
silent hill
>>322023973
I can't make Bfront II sound shitty.
>>322038502
you got it.
>>322023845
>pixels
>roguelite dungeon sidequest
>pokemon ripoff system
>Main story is literally AN ANCIENT EVIL HAS AWAKENED/YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
>Bad guys are evil just for the sake of being evil
>muh legendary sword meme
>muh sliding block puzzles
>one of the characters gets cucked hard halfway through the story
>the cool one dies like a bitch
>you're stuck with the meathead, the magical waifu, and a faggot
>new game + doesn't carry over your stats, but instead doubles your exp/gold
>>322038610Absolutely
>>322023845
You go to a shitty fair, end up 400 years in the past, come back, get arrested, break out, go 1300 years into the future and then travel through time some more to stop pic related from coming out of the ground.
>>322038990
Kurono Toraiga
stupid over-rated pixel garbage that's not even an hour long and is stupidly hardI want to strangle myself for saying that
>>322038990
Too easyChrono Trigger
It's actually really easy
>Ugly-ass PS1-tier environments despite being a late PS2 game
>Tank controls in an action game
>Completely repetitive, nothing but punching people for hours and hours
>PS1-tier voice acting and writing
>>322023845
Your objective is to make it to a shiny mountain in the background and this never changes the whole game. Sometimes people will join your game and won't shut the hell up.
>>322027016
Super Smash Bros WiiU
>>322039148
Undertale.
>>322034434
No, it's not CS:GO
>>322039578
Fuck you, wrong.
the fucking voice in your head betrays you at the end of the game.
>>322023845
Underpaid clone army buys it's own guns with the achievements of previous clones and itself. Has a period of working for few minutes before freezing and passing out. Are pitted against other clones in different costumes. You can buy your clone fancier looking guns with real money. This is repeated on limited maps over and over again. Giving your clone line a ranking based on how good it does. Some poor fuck have spend tens of thousands ours on this shit to git gut. Not even mentioning the poor fucks buying all the fucking skins to guns.pretty much every new FPS... CS:GO!
cringy silver haired punk needs to put on a shirt and eat something other than pizza
He proceeds to pick fights with his well groomed twin brother at a family meet up wile disputing over family heirlooms he even shoots the clown then cries when his brother isnt there anymore
>>322023845
Everything is fucking chance and a dice roll and everything is slow as shit.
Every game of matchmaking ends up with someone being shit, someone blaming them so they play worse, and someone acting as an early childhood caretaker so that you don't lose.
>>322023845
you choose 1 of six shitty characters none are american they're all some kinda foreigner...you live the life of em and in the end you don't even really know why you care about any of these characters shitty lives. you drive shitty old boats around, if you ever manage to get into a sword fight its just a shitty card game, boat battles are turn based grid shit, and you're completely at the mercy of the ocean all game. the closest thing to fast travel is an auto pilot which still takes like 20 minutes to get anywhere. a quote from a game review site said "...you could read a history book or play this game - the excitement levels are about the same."
>>322039619
Damn man...uh...is it recent?
>>322039858
it's 15 years old.
>>322039901
You?
>>322039901
Cave Story? Shit I suck at this
>>322023845
Father fucks around like no tomorrow. Kids fight to death over heritage.
Control a young boy as he uses his cell phone to run virus scans on every electronic device he can get his hands on.
>>322040005
>>322040013
Wrong. It also had a budget.
>literally indie pixelshit
>you're a deliveryman try to recover lost packages IN SPACE
>The game calls you a monster for winning because it has to be soooooo fucking deep
>>322023845
Everyone is retarded. Your bosses hate you. The gods hate you. The graphics hate you. The controls hate you. You'll hate you.
You have to settle an inheritance dispute.
>>322027445
>I didnt play Lost Odyssey
>>322040480
I would if it came out on a relevant console
>>322023845
Work for nothing the game.
>>322023845
You're the pedestrian driver in every racing game, driving across Eurofagland.
>>322040609
Animal Crossing
>>322040095
Is it a GB game?
>>322040819
here's the answer.
>>322023845
fuckin grind your character till max lvl and grind fuckin bosses then when you a faggot for shiny gear or when you a cool guy you go pvp and get fucked by unbalanced incompetent designers, if you are extra retarded buy yourself some shiny pet for 20$
>>322023845
Drug addicts try to kill you the entire tims
It's just a shitty minecraft clone but in 2D.
>>322040920
hey metal slug has GOAT pixel art, that's cheating
you have amnesia and you have to shoot things and the controls are really floaty
You solve your problems by running. The few times you do have to fight are the few moments the players complain about, the faggots.
>>322040991
Terraria.
Also u wot m8
>>322041070
goal of this thread
a small farming village is attacked by evildoers. then a rag tag group of rebels (including one token chosen hero) who IS AN ORPHAN DUE TO THE EVILDOERS BTW team up against some evil dudes who are polluting the environment by going around and collecting magic whatchamacallits and getting into pointless fights with wildlife.
>>322040290
God of War
>>322039718
divinity original sin
>>322039784
Dota 2
>>322039643
dark messiah of might and magic
>>322035529
skyrim
>>322041178
Lying is easy mode
Being misleading should have more nuance
>>322040767
No. There you work for gifts and your debt.
Foreigners invade a land and enslave the locals to destroy the ecosystem for their own profit.
>>322023845
>You wait for a letter that gets lost in the mail
>>322041802
spore
You play as a walking corpse who wants revenge for his girlfriend.
It plays like a single player MMO and the world is too big and it takes forever to find the really specific shit for sidequests.
>>322041931
Nope, go back farther.
HINT: The second one was the best.
>>322027325
Psychonauts
>>322027597
Dead Space
>>322028194
Except the xpac makes you lose out on space magic if you camp.
>>322029287
Play a real rhythm game, faggot.
>>322039451
Journey
>>322041802
Ratchet and Clank?
>>322023845
Mandrama.
>>322042103
Nope
>>322023845
To go forward in the game, you have to go backwards.
>>322023845
Emo mage steals your soul and you have to travel to hell to get it back.
>>322027715
monster hunter?
The execution barrier is ridiculously high for the coolest characters
Newcomers can't even do the shortest jump half the time
Trying to do the cool shit can easily get you killed if you mess up
And worst of all, a convenient way to certain attacks becomes univable in most single player modes, as it instead controls the camera
You're on a boat with some green fucker who tells you to stand up, then you just keep walking till the end of the game. It sucks.
you collect shit and read words
>>322023845
You play a girly boy in a dress who has to desecrate various holy sites in order to get relics to create a magical rainbow bridge to fight the king of ISIS
And
You play as an emo whose friends have a habit of dying due to loud noise, then you realise your gay friend is basically god and stop playing the game
The Voice acting is mediocre
Your goal is to collect eggs so you can beat a bird in a robot and save your parents from a portal
I hope you like Australia
>>322041516
Nope. It's a popular older game though
Anime art style
>>322042478
Morrowind
>>322042685
Zelda OoT
Shit I dunno, TWEWY? Never played it but it sounds like that.
god hates you, your mom hates you, everything hates you and your pets are dead
>>322023845
you are a lame ass dude that gets killed a lot by random enemies
>>322042807
He DEFINITELY knows which one you are talking about
>>322023845
you push your autism to its limits to make awesome useless shit.
You will always be low on ammo, the gunplay has a huge learning curve and everything will kill you in almost one hit because fuck you this is real. Also it's open world but if you so much as get off the road you will die either by explosions, implosions, being caught on fire, being crushed by gravity, or dogs.
>>322043253
I'm>>322039718
No he does not
>>322042982
Yep.
>>322043329
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
>>322043106
Both right
>>322026648
>combat rewards you for wasting your time
I chuckled
>>322039148
>>322040920
i will fucking murder you
>>322023845
A Rhode Island whore's family is tentacle fucked by Chthullu's redneck cousins.
>>322023845
the fifth boss banged your mom
>>322023845
You climb a mountain of corpses, only to find that being at the top is like running a daycare centre, only these are grown men you're dealing with.
>game starts with your character getting superpowers and AIDS
>kill enemies super efficiently by sticking your hand in their myriad holes
>camera sucks
>game decides it wants to do a different story one quarter of the way though
>all the characters either die or are douchebags
>these faggots in the first area keep shouting the same thing at you if you don't leave
>shitty camera
>AWFUL gameplay
>Stupid level design
>clichè everywherw
>pitiful villain
>one of the worst voice acting
Good god i fucking love this game.
>>322043815
Eternal Darkness?
>>322038636
You can certainly make it look shitty
>>322028354
Jet x2o
End lag.
indie survival game that you could probably play with a touch screen, with graphics that appeal to the hot topic crowd
>>322023845
There are these assholes in space who are all "Fuck your shit," and for some reason they have all the fucks to shit to fuck your shit. So they go all PEW PEW and you crash with Space Witch Bitch and Captain Distrustful. You yourself play as a fucking retard. Eventually you all decided to run around the space looking for fragments of a map leading to the ultimate treasure and shit. Only the ultimate treasure is a fucking death station of doom. You're also not retarded. You are the fucking badass who everyone talks about in hushed whispers that brought the fucking galaxy to to heel. Along the way you pick up a group of misfits including and underage alien chick nobody admits they would bone in a second, a dude who grew up in the nineties and thus will not shut up about the "good ol' days," a big dog, a lesbian cat, the grandpa you always wanted but never got, a sarcastic death bot, and a backwards facing trash can.
Nope. I can't do it. There is no way to make this game not sound like one of the most awesome things ever to grace its entire fucking franchise.
It's a puzzle game where you have to collect the pieces
Capture wild animals, take them from their habitat and force the into fighting other animals. All of that with unnecessarily candy colors.
>>322044745
You gave it away with the first clause.
>every character plays almost the same near the endgame
>the main villain's motivation is literally "fuck you I'm a douche"
>stupid weebshit
>one of the sidequests is literally fucking off from saving the world to go to a concert
>stupid puns everywhere
>>322044840
FF VI
>>322044142
Resident Evil
>>322029619
SPYRO THE MOTHERFUCKIN' DRAGON
I can't make bloodborne sound shitty.I love it too much
>>322026497
Persona 3?
>you're an orange android
>you're on a planet you know nothing about but you still find the same enemies you find in other games
>literally no story, only some lore
>made by a studio that never did anything worthwhile and knew shit about the IP
>it's in 3D ffs, why didn't they make another 2D game>blatant halo clone
>some hobo is living in a forest
>suddenly some slut and an old pedophile appear
>you end up fighting generic_Villain.jpg
>"knights do it 2 handed!...hip"
>you are a very very generic alcoholic ex cop who loves coffee, has a shit job and doesn't pay rent on time
>you live in a studio apartment and only have cliche neighbors
>artstyle is "stupidly pencil drawn b/w characters"
>you can't help but fuck with other people's business
after replaying everything, this has to be my favorite of the bunch
also dat soundtrack
>>322046029
Johnny Rocketfingers.
you get dumped onto a crummy ass plot of land some shitskins call their home and from the getgo you'll be running errands for every tom, dick and every other type of cunt on the planet who all hate your guts for just being alive
you get gangraped by hundreds of goblins and floating eyeballs while your three teammates make funny faces at you.
>>322039683
Devil May Cry 3
It's an RTS but casualized to the point where it's entirely focused on multiplayer, lack basebuilding, can only control a few units at a time, and the factions (Nato VS USSR) are so boring and identical in the name of balance you never notice what side you play on if it wasn't because of the stereotypical voices.
>>322040127
Risk of Rain?
>>322023845
People live in underground tunnels and you leave yours to get help because black people are harassing your home, along the way you fight nazis and communists in order to ransack a library to find the locations of nukes so you can exterminate the blacks for good.
Rag tag band of poverty niggers terrorize a superior civilization and want to stop humanitys evolution
>You post on image boards
>Ya go to bed
>>322027048
Really? That's the worst you can do? You won't mention completely useless skills and attributes?
A literal autist has been coding this game for 12 years, the result is lots of bloat and bugs
>>322046942
>library
too easy
>>322041951
kingdom of amalur whatsit?
>>322045580
Other M
>party members are the most cookie cutter JRPG archetypes ever
>everyone is a fucking asshole
>combat is broken as fuck
>game feels like it should end halfway through but just keeps going
>you spend the second half of the game just game going back and forth from towns to advance the plot
>you miss side quest all the fucking time, some with really good items and skills
>the ending is vague as fuck and doesn't give any real closure
>>322047850
Shit, forgot the most important part
>Dumb asshole mascot character with the most cheesegrater to eardrums voice ever
>>322039295
You got godhandtier taste anon
The enviorment is horrific, nobody talks english, you don't even know who the fuck you are and everyone is trying to make you do stupid shit for them
you play as a blond whiny trannie who gets gang raped by a bunch of sweaty men in the shower room of a brothel
>>322049885
FF7
Despite the game giving you the choice of how you progress through it, some ways are much harder than others and you'll only really go one way through anyway.
The graphics have aged like shit and everyone has refrigerator foreheads.
It's only out for one console.
The enemy AI is massively exploitable.
There are no unique armour sets.
The online is dead.
>>322042060
Aoe 2?
Not favorite, but currently playing.Strip and rub girls into submission
>>322025684
Sly cooper
>>322051727
Criminal Girls?
But how does that make the game sound shitty?
the whole game is grinding for the newest item, playing multiplayer is needlessly hard unless you buy a 3ds.
>>322029295
Must be wii punchout
Generic monster hunter goes on an adventure because a woman told him to. What follows is a series of stupid fetch quests and gets involved in a generic save-the-world plot. He joins forces with his future wife, gay elf, and some Guy. Then he dies killing the villains, who just respawn 100 years later.
No matter whether you're stompin around in a mech, driving a tank or flying an anti-gravity vehicle, you just end up driving into a gas-station and explode because the game is isometric and you can't see shit.
Also, the villian of the game is dead before you even start the game, so what's the point?
>>322052219
Nope. [spolier]lewd weeb games trigger half of /v/[/spoiler]
Hadn't heard many positive things said about Criminal Girls.
>>322023845
You play as a cartoon character in a realistic world who runs around shooting large black people.
>>322052593
Well, I fucked that up.
>>322023845
A bunch faggots and bitches get trapped in a Saw rip-off full off pretentious pseudo-science.
You play as a guy who summons dudes to get his heart back from a dragon with a smooth voice
Gourmetized seek and hide.
>>322025512
Any Western RPG in existance
>There's elves and dwarves being stupid as fuck
>Technology doesnt work with magic for some stupid unexplained reason
>Combat is a garbage turnbased glitch fest >Every time you travel you get randomly attacked by little green/purple jews or giant ass spiders.
>>322052856
Dragon Dogma
>>322052765
That sounds a lot like 999 or virtues last reward
>>322053237
>999
Correct.
Chess for retards.
You're a lawyer so desperate you call a perrot to the stand to testify and get your client a not guilty verdict.
You and your friends get sucked into your one friends fanfiction of a world to escape his shitty life and you instantly decide "fuck this, i want tp destroy this world" despite the fact that this world is probably more enjoyable for your friends, one of which is your brother, who is crippled. Amazingly, sone retards who live in this world want to help you, so you and your merry band go out trying to do this by destroying crystals and fighting retarded ai who, despite out leveling you, always have shitty gear.
Fail one mission and you lose out on the post game, oh and if you break the rules during a battle, you have a chance to have a stat decreased PERMINATELY. Have fun.
>>322052593asda
you are a guy that dont know where you are, and everyone sucks and want to kill you
>>322053451
Checkers.
All you do Is catch niggers.
An indie game with pixel graphics that tries to be cool with flashy screens and hipster music.
It's like king of the hill but with a ton of rules.
>>322044585
Kotor was great
Something about a Frozen Forest
>>322053752
I love checkers!
>>322053085
Arcanum? Though that has real-time combat as well...
I don't have a favorite but I have been playing
>kill guys
>hacking minigame
>wait for 48 hours
>kill guys slightly faster
That's it
>>322023845
The game was rigged from the start
>>322051147
Nope.Pikmin 2
You're the local exterminator.
It's about fucking tartarsauce
>>322025512
Dark souls
>>322054069
warframe. tfw i just got my oberon and aegis&silva
feels paladin, man
>>322027482
New Vegas?
>>322054603
>Oberon
>Shit shield and sword
Kill yourself anon, no one likes your shit healing
Out in the boonies simulator where half the game is spent playing dressup, shaving, eating, sleeping, doing part-time jobs, and getting fined for being smelly. You're socially retarded, you talk to your imaginary friend, and the only reason you aren't considered insane and shunned as such is because everyone else is crazier than you.
Combat's atrocious, there's only like three songs on the soundtrack, quicktime events everywhere, crashes every five minutes, people yell at you when you break the speed limit driving, voice acting and character animations vary between 'passable' and 'what the jesus fuck is this,' regular walk looks like some kind of faggot strut, running makes this awful repetitive clunk regardless of terrain, inventory is a clusterfuck, graphics are ass, why am I even playing this...
It's not my favourite but it's pretty damn great. Just easy to bash.
>>322055606
Everything past the first sentence was unnecessary, it's Deadly Premonition.
You wander about kissing lords asses and getting your peasant ass kicked
>>322047850
Tales of the Abyss?
>puzzles are too easy
>98% of the enemies are easy and boring
>le LOLSORANDUM and LOLSOQUIRKY meme humor that 12 year old girls or 40 year old autistic neckbeards would enjoy
>tumblr agenda
>shitty, generic story with little kid morals. "killing bad! being nice, good!"
>stupid ass beep boop soundtrack with simplistic melodies that sound like they were produced with a fruity loops demo with default synths
>long hallways with nothing in them
>shitty le hipster retro le meme graffix XD
>le indie
>fourth wall breaking to appear "deep"
>arrogant and childish developer
>overrated
>Everything that's wrong with this generation
>>322055851
M&B?
>>322056685
Oui mon ami.
>>322053167
You're right, my man.
can't wait til the 16th
>>322056575
Dundermeme 2ez nerd.
>>322056575
Undertale?
A whiny pussy kid who cries because of her non existence of a character mother dies
RoboCop copy fights with a shitty gun against animal robots and destroys this wolf robo thingy at the end
Lol random humor XD: the RPG
>>322028056
Bravely Default
>>322040005
holy shit
>>322056575
You're not supposed to describe the game perfectly, that makes it too easy.
>Yes
>No
>Sarcastic(Yes)
>More info
And
>Gun spray patterns don't make sense
>essential goal of the game doesn't make sense
(Why are we blowing up this fountain 15 times?)
>12 year olds
>people with cancer mics
>The Russians
>the Mexicans
>The artic warfare police is a meme cannon
>skins
>>322057063
3rd one is Undertale?
You are told by absolutely everyone that you are going to be the kingest king in the kingdom, you gonna be flowing in dat pussy baby.
Then you get to the ending where you have to choose between dying or sitting on a chair alone for eternity whilst being mad.
Also:
>Shittiest port
>Only waifu tier character is a fucking dude
>Shit controls
>500000 tracks in the ost, all suck except 2 or 3
>Shit graphics
>Meme game
>>322058028
Good answer but nope.
not a favorite game but
>frame-rate is awful
>you will send the first 2 hours faceplanting into shit
>story is silly, but boring af
>>322026009
You missed 9gag, it was the first door on the left
>>322025684
Hotline miami?
>>322023845
You are and old piece of shit who sounds like he shovels gravel down his throat. Stared at his mother's title until finding out it was his mother. Beats up hardcover feminists and an another old delusional guy who isn't sure who he is
>>322057869
fallout 4 and CS go?
You're a shitty little teenager with a sword then your dad gets killed and someone thought you should command a fucking army now k good luck
oh and you go to hell and back for the princess and she doesn't even let you hit it.
>clicking simulator
>bunch of gooks play it
>dead because MOBAs are more fun and free
>game is baby easy
>bosses are mostly ok at best
>game reuses its own bosses
>that's all I got
>>322025512
Undertale
>>322025512
dota
>>322040127
gods will be watching?
>you are an avatar with zero influence on their personality
>people won't stop bitching if the male or female avatar is canon
>you can see the first major plot twist a mile away
>the grind is real later in the game
>shipping:the game
>waifu simulator
>husbando simulator
>RNG up the ass at times
>WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE USELESS BORING CHARACTERS
>shitty major villain
>anti-climactic ending
>everyone loves the crazy stalker
And I fucking love the game.
>every enemy in the game including bosses do no damage
>the only way to lose is one move of the final boss, which is instakill
wew lad
You run an errand for the weakest kind of goverment that ever existed and end up saving everyone with the stuff you got on your way there
Your dad royally fucks up many things for just about everyone and you need to fix his mistakes for everyone that he hurt. You get physically abused if you fail a level.
>>322059309
awakening
>>322040127
Riesgo de Lluvia.
A gay spy and his boyfriend a David bowie lookalike form a summer camp for mercenaries and Fuck around in the deset for years battling an edgelord who dressed like lone ranger and talks like a failed Shakespeare actor
You're just a retard punching things because your daughter is crying and you're too retarded to do anything else.
You kill god with a punch btw.
You are in the future and you must upgrade your body to make the game even remotely playable.
>>322060346
Fallout 3?
you're stuck on this fucking place with sixty other socially challenged retards, everyone is an asshole to eachother, there is no clear fun to be found anywhere except when it's at the expense of another person, you're not allowed to do almost anything unless you got lucky at the start of the round, and in two hours nothing of what you did will have mattered
>>322056964
Looking forward to it as well. Though I might not buy it right away.
>>322060828
Nope. It'sKatamari Damacy
>>322060346
katamari damacy?
you're an asshole thrown into some lake and gotta help a bunch of red guys kill some spider
>>322023845
Some stupid robot with this stupid dieaper has to go and ram a sword up a clone of his friend's ass.
Try again with a more shit description. Again, currently playing, not favorite game.
You're kicked out of your home and sent on a suicide mission simply because you're the most worthless person in town.
You aimlessly run around and awkwardly fight imaginary enemies in an empty town that really needs a janitor
>>322023845
90% of that game is a fucking map.
You solve all problems with punches
You have to make a fucking lightsaber and some old ass bitch questions your every move. If you don't get a fucking restored content mod the game is barely passable, and there's only 4 waifus to choose from
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>322060717
Phantom Pain.
>>322060723
God of War
>>322060798
Deus Ex
>>322060723
>>322061597
Asura's Wrath
You play as a generic JRPG protag doing tons of shitty fetch quests with your only motive being you crush being "killed" instead of the thousands of lives getting killed by giant robots.
Pick up things until there aren't anymore things to pickup
>>322062635
You don't need to try to mail that shitty game sound shit
>>322026009
Leave
>>322062459
You took my answer.
>>322062459
Xenoblade
>>322063873
Bingo
Kill hindu gods but all in cutscenes
>>322046942
Metro 2033.
>>322026648
Mario Bros
>>322028223
Not him, but literally none of that applies to Dark Souls.
>>322058140
Dark Souls 2?
>Movie license fps
>No reloading animations
>No voice acting
>Shitty Cutscenes
It's not Dark Souls.
>>322033605
Gun whatever the fuck. The game with a bunch of people floating around switching weapons the entire time in order to fly around.
>>322064851
Goldeneye.
>>322040673
Eurotruck
The big bad government tells you to assassinate your Aryan brother. They give you cancer.
>>322025512
World of Warcraft without a doubt
>>322042471
Melee. Fucking fox shorthops
>>322065621
yup
>>322043297
Too generoc. Dwarf Fortress. Minecraft. Starmade. Space engineers. Statcraft map editor. Kerbal space program. Beseiged. Etc
>>322044367
Monster hunter
>>322023845
literal unplayable garbage on pc without mods, game is half finished
>>322046029
That one mystery game on the ds in a hotel. Does any other game have a white and black penic artstyle?
>>322046816
World in conflict
You drive a car for 5 minutes and then it's over. Repeat forever.
A suicidal man spends 8 hours picking up garbage in a Midwestern town after his wife dies , and then either kills himself, leaves, goes home with a hooker
>>322047291
Dwarf fortress
>>322023845
It's real time heathstone on a grid
>>322052220
Monster hunter
>>322025512
Melee :^)
>>322053535
Ffta
You play as some furry and his xD nerd lol robot going through space to fix some lolsorandumb character's problems. Turns out the "bad guy" is a she-furry and lolsorandumb betrays you. but it wasn't lolsorandumb, it was the idiot character all along what a twist!
>>322058708
Zelda?
>>322058717
Sc2
>>322023845
A guy teams up with a ship captain who abandoned ship, an asshole lady who always has to be in charge, and a young exotic girl, among other characters. They fuck around searching for gps locations and then they slaughter a guy who broke his jaw.
>>322061392
Silent hill
A strong, independent woman shoots aliens, uses scanning technology to learn about her culture, and frequently solves her problems by curling up into a ball and rolling around on the floor.
>>322061610
Kotor 2
Bunch of beardneck lardfuck meatheads talk mad shit about how gozu they are on a forum but dodge/10 in game like the pussy little fucks they are.
>>322057063
Mother 3
You walk around a town full of animals and do chores for them.
>>322068186
Metroid
>>322068186
Metroid
>>322068518
Animal crossing
>>322068186
The goal is to make it sound as shitty as possible not as GOOD as possible
You're some time-traveling gay elf with a magic potato.
AI sucks, you suck at shooting, easy to get lost, none of the clothes look as cool as your default.
>>322027482
>>322054774
>When you come back to a thread seven hours later and find out it took /v/ five hours to correctly guess your game on the first try
You're a loli that catches niggers
>>322027107
skyrim
>>322037940
is the first oneLISA: The Painful RPG?
if so, that too be my choice
It's fucking shit
you gotta do horse shit fetch and puzzle quests to be able to then unlock characters to be able to then collect items that unlock more items so you can advance through the different worlds.
you cant use certain moves without items found in the most retarded out of the way placed
you cant upgrade gear without seeking out another set of items that have no other use
once you do that, before you can even attempt the final level, you gotta get enough of these OTHER fucking items that just so happen are annoying as fuck to kill the enemy holding them
FUCK
It's an open world RPG with a single gimmick that sets it apart, and that gimmick isn't even used for some classes.
>>322031716
>>322031465
>>322030214
Paper Mario, Fire Emblem, Advance Wars.....nobody loves advance wars and thats sad
some dude can't find a person in the desert
>>322025512
Runescape
You go into monster infested dungeons with a knife and a breakable feather and open treasure chests that contain bread water and fairy dust. 4/6 of the playable characters are objectively shit compared to the other 2. You also have to rebuild entire towns in the exact autistic way the people living there fantasize their shit to be to get good rewards. The game also features weapon upgrading. You can irreversibly make ultimate weapons that aren't actually the real ultimate weapons, and you would have no way of knowing they werent the good ones outside of guides.
>>322023845
You play as a mudslime that forgot his turban and accent at home who journeys with his new shitskin gf, climbing inside outside and around a palace like the apes you are when everyone but you guys develops an extreme allergy to sparkly fairy dust. You must maim a sick and dying old geriatric and collect all the fairy dust to save the land
>>322068235
Yehp
>>322070887
Prince of Persia Sands of Time?
You eat and drink a lot of chips and soda while killing ugly things that make a lot of noise.
It's a game that looks like a two year old drew it. Any time you get hit by an enemy, you hear a really fucking annoying scream and you have ten seconds to stop the noise or else it's game over. You throw your shit at enemies, and the final boss is a giant baby.
>english playerbase isn't very big and the japs you play with might report you purely for being a filthy gaijin
>some classes either require a huge amount of set up to even be viable while some others are almost literally "use skill then mash button as fast as you can"
>game is f2p but mistakes can be costly and 5 irl dollars is usually the price to fix it, no matter how small
>large amount of english players give english players a bad name by being filthy annoying meme spewers
>>322023973
this guy gets it
>your character gets butthurt after losing a "friend", goes into the woods to cry and gets fucked over by a kid
>ends up in a new place and finds out this kid fucked everybody else over
>everybody has their shit messed up but you are the only one capable of fixing it
>you only havethree days
>>322071109
ye boi
>>322071279
pso2
>I hit F1-10
>I hit Ctrl + F1-9
>Enemies get super pissed
>Meanwhile my granary is empty
>>322054124
Metal Gear Solid 2
>>322069415
>"when you" meme
Go the fuck back to Twitter.
You shove your head up frogposter's assholes for assnuggets and wake up a bunch of faggot stoners while blazing it 420.
Keep clicking until you get stuff. Then click some more because you want more stuff.
>>322073264
FPS: Keep clicking until you get frags. Then click some more because you want more frags.
Idle games: Keep clicking until you get cookies. Then click some more because you want more cookies.
Osu: Keep clicking until you get points. Then click some more because you want more points.
