Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy. Anyways, I just want to address some concerns some people have had with my theory that a human with brass knuckles can beat up a horse. This theory is based on the idea that people can beat Dark Souls bosses while taking no damage just by running and rolling, things that any moderately fit human is capable of. Add to that the fact that horses are far weaker than Dark Souls bosses and it's hard to imagine how a smart and patient gamer isn't a horse's worst nightmare.
>muh iframes! when you roll, you can't be hurt - real life isn't like that!
You're not rolling UNDER the attacks - you're rolling out of the way. Even so, there was a guy who beat every boss in DS3 without dodging, rolling, or parrying, (you can find him on Youtube) and I assume the same is possible in DS1. So if you just go fully naked, you could sprint from every attack and wait for the perfect safe moments to get in a few hits here and there. You should still roll out of the way of charge attacks. Sure, the DS player is avoiding telegraphed and consistent attack patterns, while the horse is less predictable - but the horse still has its limits and can be exploited with a similar mindset.
>the horse has great tracking abilities! it's not just attacking a predetermined spot!
The horse is limited by its vision and can't hurt you if it doesn't know where you are. While a DS boss doesn't even need to have you in its line of sight to know you're directly behind it (and attack accordingly), the horse needs to know you're behind it before it tries to kick. If you can surprise it, you can punch it from behind and then roll out of the way of the kick -- you'll have to be fast, but you could do it.Then just repeat the trick of hitting it in the face and hitting it from behind and rolling away. The horse won't be smart enough to recognize that you're repeating this trick in the fight.
(1/2)
>>339344224
(2/2)
>the horse is dangerous from the front AND back! its rear kick is its deadliest attack!
You know what else is dangerous from its front and back? Flexile Sentry from DS2. Guess what, players beat that all the time without taking damage. Just adopt the same strategy - you wait for one side to get tired, get in a few hits, and let it rotate. Rinse and repeat. Flexile is one of the easiest bosses in the game, so this isn't an argument-killer.
>horses are way faster than humans!
I don't have to be faster than it in terms of max speed - I only have to be able to outrun its reactions within a close range, which is quite possible if you use diversions like throwing dirt in its face or yelling at it really loudly (spooks the horse)
Plus, horses don't have ranged attacks or AoE. It's like fighting the Asylum Demon or something, except this time you don't get to do a plunging attack.
are you fucking stupid???
>>339344224
>Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy.
This is why I love /v/.
But can we beat a small black bear with our fist ?
>>339344224
The rolling will tire you out before the punches will do anything remotely resembling incapacitation to the horse. If you were to actually threaten the horse in any significant way, it would run away from you because it's a horse.
>>339344224
Sure fight a horse, why not fight something that'll be a challenge like a souls boss
>like a shark
good thread
keep me posted
>>339344224
>>339344269
>>339346359
what if it was a cage match
Brb gotta fight a horse
>>339346587
You can cheese a shark by baiting it out of the water
>>339346938
Just throw rocks at it.
Dark souls boss have slow telegraphed attacks, try and pick a fight with a horse you will lose.
>>339344224
thanks OP this made me laugh. good stuff.
>>339347001
Just like in Dark Souls, you just need to get out of its immediate range and bait a charge attack. Then roll out of the way and get in a cheap hit during you retreat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Afz_UYq3c
>>339346938
Damn, true
I guess I should've picked a harder fight
>like wrestling macho man Randy savage
I miss him so much
>>339346785
An interesting proposition, would a horse continue to run away from you in a cage match with no exit? Would it circle the arena? How would this affect the strategy?
Nice OC, OP.
Now let's see if this can be a new pasta for shitposting in dark souls thread in the future.
>>339347121
You just put him in a car
>Horse
Git fucking good scrub.
I wreck lions 24/7 8 days a week.
>>339344224
>a smart and patient gamer is a horse's worse nightmare
why the fuck is this so funny - are horses like fucking terrorists to you or something, why do you want to beat up a horse so badly
>punching a horse with brass knuckles
Say goodbye to your bones
>>339347265
Anon! Bad!
Rip in piss
>>339347201
A horse would win any format of wrestling match against any other team, as long as it was a tag team or group match.
Because horses are best in a stable.
>>339347449
>>339344224
conan the barbarian is proof u can beat up a horse
>>339344224
tl;dr
Post dolphin pussies
>>339347679
oh wait that was a camel. Carry on.
>>339347767
Ask any arch-faggot if camels are weaker then horses and they will punch you with there little baby hands.
>>339348020
>that image
Horse has like 40000hp while one punch takes 40-60hp
It would take a lot of time
>>339348302
That's pretty accurate, are you an equinologist?
>>339347430
Why would a horse need brass knuckles?
>>339344224
>Last thread got deleted because it devolved into posting graphic pictures of dolphin pussy. Anyways, I just want to address some concerns some people have had with my theory that a human with brass knuckles can beat up a horse.
Thanks OP, for making it a thing i read today
>>339347393
Maybe OP was a bag of oats in a past life
>>339348020
is this the original image?
and are there more variations?
I need to see them all
Using Brass Knuckles is cheating. Why not just shoot the horse if you're going to use weapons?
If you want to prove that you can defeat a horse you should do it unarmed and fully nude the way god intended
>not just staying out of its range of vision with the obscuring ring and one-shotting it with soul stream
Free glue for me
>>339344224
Am I being memed right now?
>>339346681
Who is this protein mariachi
>>339349060
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApbRL9-slqI
>>339344224
I would say that you're trying too hard but honestly this was funny as shit for how retarded it is
include me in the screencap, hi /r/4chan
>>339347767
Also that camel was a slut.
As for op, I think bloodborne side stepping would be more advantageous than rolling if you ever want to counter attack.
Mas oyama killed a bull. I dont see why you couldnt kill a horse.
>>339349886
The irony is that you went full tryhard yourself with that gay as fuck post.
>>339350013
The irony is that you went full tryhard yourself with that contrarian as fuck post
and if you dont think they're gonna screencap this you're retarded
>>339350171
Not unless it has a million replies with plenty of reaction images.
Compare your life to mine and then kill yourself.
Single horse, easy. What about 2 horses? Or 4 nigs?
>>339350573
no u
>>339351012
How dare you
