Would you rather be a jungle cat or Melissa McCarthy?
That's a hard one.
But if I were Melissa McCarthy, I'd try to lose a ton of weight and then go lesbian.
Probably Melissa McCarthy.
Melissa McCarthy. Underneath all that blubber I'm not the worst-looking person in existence, and I have a fucktonne of money to hire hot bitches in yoga pants to help me work that fat off.
Yeah. Hired hot bitches in yoga pants.
>>72039060
Jungle cat. Jungle cats are cool.
Melissa McCarthy so I can get paid to eat people.
>>72039167
Shoo shoo guy with the recognizable filenames. I tire of seeing your posts.
Hard choice, but jungle cat wins, I mean, just picture yourself running at very fast speed trying to bite a zebra's ass or whatever is it's equivalent on the jungle so you can eat. Nothing beats that feel man.
>>72039214
Could be worse, sonny. Want me to make a trip as well?
>>72039259
Your continued presence on /tv/ is an annoyance to me.
>>72039217
And how is that any-different from Melissa McCarthy running at a very fast speed trying to bite a tray filled with roast pork?
>>72039183
This guy gets it
>>72039286
Does Melissa McCarthy run in all fours? I don't think so.
>>72039259
I'D KNOW THAT TUSH ANYWHERE
>>72039060
a kitty
>>72039060
Can I be a jungle cat who is eating Melissa McCarthy?
>>72039301
>Does Melissa McCarthy run
>>72039060
>image.jpg
Hi iphoneposter
A jungle cat so El Jefe can have some company. Poor kitty cat.
>>72039319
That is the luckiest primate ever.
>>72039319
Remember that story of a shaved Orangutan who was being used as a sex slave at some seedy bar?
>>72039365
Don't talk shit about Lindsay Lohan.
>>72039319
Too cute
>>72039286
>>72039331
>>72039365
>>72039380
This is a good thread
>>72039418
>tfw i'm the 2nd and 4th posts
>>72039380
kek
A jungle cat nigga
Can you fuckin imagine a knarly ass jag or lion fucking stalking antelope ass or some cheetah motherfucka chasing hunter fucker through some African plains n shit
Cash would be shit niggah
>>72039301
Mellisa McCarty runs in all foursubways closest to her house
>>72039518
Lions and Cheetahs aren't jungle cats.
>be Melissa McCarthy
>divorce Paul Fag, which leads to him killing himself
>marries Kate McKinnon
>???
>>72039518
mite b cool
>>72039060
>be jungle cat
>get to live inawoods, hunt for meat, and fuck catgirls with my cat dick
>be Melissa McCarthy
>be a fat woman with a stinky cunt and have to star in shitty movies
>>72039602
Did that cat just fucking RKO a GOAT
>>72039582
>she drowns in my flubber
>cash in life insurance
>>72039602
Fucking mid air suplex. Antelope got fucked up.
Can you tell them apart?
>>72039800
Cheetah, Jaguar, Leopard
>>72039319
MAURICE LOVE KITTY MORE THAN APE
>>72039800
easily
Gepard, Jaguard, Leopard
>>72039876
>Gepard
>>72039800
Nice dubs
Cheetah, Jag, Leopard
>>72039901
>Le guépard (Acinonyx jubatus)
you avin a giggle mate?
Jungle Cat, of course, though I'd rather be a Ocelot, truth be told.
>>72040026
>Acinonyx jubatus
Yeah, that's a Cheetah but I've never heard it called a Gepard.
>>72040080
Because nobody calls them CHEETAH except you, anglo-amerfat retards.
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gepard
https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Đ“eĐżapĐ´
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gu%C3%A9pard
https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acinonyx_jubatus
>>72039060
>be jungle cat
>get captured by HUEs for zikalympic photoshoot
>HUEnigger holding me lets me loose
>shot dead for endangering HUEniggers
When you think about it, big cats are only found in the most niggerly shitholes on Earth; South America, Africa, Middle-East, SEA.
>shot dead by subhumans or be a fat piggy jewess
death is preferable tbqh familia
>>72039800
>tfw no skull-piercing jag chompers
someone post the webm of one jumping a caiman
>>72039319
Adorable.
>>72039602
>>72040059GRU OPERRATIVES!
>>72040146
Like I give a shit what some unwashed Europeans call a Cheetah.
>>72040201
I always expect it to bite his face.
>>72040201
i entered the thread to see if someone posted this
>>72040225
>GET THE FUCK DOWN SID WE GOTTA FIND MANNY
kek
>>72040263
>Cheetah
The dumbest and the gayest name you can think of for an animal. Nuke yourself.
>>72040201
Ywn enter that cheetahs tight pussy ;_;
>>72039060
Jungle cat, fo sho.
>>72040327
I'd tell you to nuke yourself but the muslims destroying you from the inside will do it sooner. Stay mad, Muhammad.
>>72040201
>>72040378
>that /trash/ copypasta
>>72040363
;_;
>comfiest thread on /tv/ right now
>>72040363
DELETE THIS
>>72040363
Guys someone buy him a weelchair or something, I'm sure he's still a clever cub who can kill a zebra with his hands if he wanted to ;_;
>>72040201
It's one of THOSE threads, is it?
Do I keep my current intelligence and consciousnes?
If yes, the jungle cat because a talking animal would have a far better career than fatty boom boom.
If no, it doesn't really matter, I could have already lived as both and not know it.
>>72040363
His prey will always have a leg up on him
>>72040514
>This is what they teach the animals at French zoos
>>72040533
DELETE THIS
>>72040327
>burger visit dark continent to see how nigger is forme
>spots spots
>guide ooga boogas about how fast it is
>"dis bussy gand oudrun burger :D"
>they race
>spots run so fast burger calls him a cheetah
:0
>>72040514
Elizabeth Debicki?
For a second I thought I was on /an/.
>>72040533
You fucking asshole
>>72040514
>mfw I actually got a surprise unwanted boner from this
>>72040577
not enough cruelty b8
>>72040276
>tfw hunting_instinct.exe and maternal_instinct.exe run at the same time and cause a system crash
>>72040567
DO NOT DISRESPECT MY WAIFU
>>72040629
what kind of dog is that
>>72040654
an oceanpupper
>>72040654
St. Bernard.
>>72040434
>meaning im a westcuck
typical dumb murrifat
>>72040363
I guess you can say I reallyWALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE
>lions
>cheetahs
>leopards
>snow leopards
>jaguars
>lynxes
>caracals
why are bigcats so great?
Can I be an Ocelot?
>>72040668
>Eastern Europe
Yuck, that's even worse.
>>72040654
Mermaid dog.
>>72040667
Cute porker
>>72040667
Was it cured?
>>72040693
>No Tigers
How?
>>72040363
>>72040474
>>72040487
>>72040503
>>72040533
If it's worth anything, the producers went back to the lioness and cub. The cub was long gone, hyenas or vultures go to her.
They couldn't do much for her anyway, the trauma of riding back that distance would have killed her most likely
>>72039319
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQCOHUXmEZg
>>72040710
what the fuck is going on
>>72040837
High Impact Cuddling Violence.
>>72040816
>>72039217
Yeah, but imagine being a lesbo McCarthy eating hot girls asses?
>>72040816
>>72040871
Koko exists only to suffer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs0fy0Rs8PM
>>72039319
Comfy af
>>72040567
Underrated
>>72039365
Remember how a guy impregnated it?
Animals are actually drunken dicks in real life
>>72039060
Jungle McCatty
>>72039582
Ballbusters is such a trashy movie
>>72041004
>AREEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
Jungle cat for sure. Just imagine all the operator shit i could do
>>72040837
Orange cat is alpha and pinned beta cat down. Licks him to groom him, beta cat resist and alpha puts him in his place again. My 2 cats do that shit all the time
depends do big cats get bouts of existential depression
>>72041041
how the fug
>>72041041
That kitteh is hardcore.
>>72041004
What the fuck is that?
>>72041041
that victory waddle tho
>>72041041
Cats are such stealthy ballers
>>72041041
>>72041110
crushed his skull/brain in one bite. How does he know to do that?Bootstrap paradox
>>72041041
I'm jealous of that cats life. Looks like so much fun and freedom
>>72041118
Looks like a sandnigger throwing a shoe at a monkey. Throwing shit is literally acts of war for apes.
>>72041146
FFS Carl.
>>72041173
>top of the food chain
>go hunting and do baller shit all day
whats not to love
>>72041146
fuckI guess they really do taste like chicken
>>72040201
Do you think he fucks it?
>>72041157
>quickly, my husband will be home soon!
>>72041157
>that portrait on the bedside table
>>72041157
Somebody needs a belly rub
>>72041157
those are some huge paws
>>72039602
truly the king of the rainforest.
>>72040276
i find this really depressing. going through the entire pregnancy giving birth then some fucker comes along to eat you so no choice but to abandon that poor innocent thing who has literally seen the world for about 5 seconds before it probably got eaten
mother nature is a cruel bitch
>>72041173
>>72041184
when your entire race is nearly wiped off the land by indians and tribal niggers who managed to get their hands on modern technology
similar to the current state of humans
>>72041299
the better tohugyou with
>this entire thread
>>72040816
>>72040919
Gorillas are lirerally more human than niggers
>>72041157
>Ara, ara anon kun. What are you doing with an old cat like me? Don't you have someone your own age?
>>72040059You're pretty good
>>72041452
Oh I think so. They have deep soulful eyes. They're gentle and nurturing. Niggers only destroy
Was enjoying the thread and then it got creepy
>>72041004
>>72041004
>pocketsand
Everytime.
>>72041391
>I'M FROM THE SAVANNAH!
>its a comfy /an/ thread after midnight
yass
>>72041413
This is what happens when the janitor on /co/ stealth bans Zootopia threads.
>>72041536
That turtle is a dumb asshole. Also, that cat is very tolerant.
>>72041630
maybe he just likes smashing his head into the cats soft hair
>>72041630
turtles are the animal personification of tommy from goodfellas
>>72041630
Cats give zero fucks.
>>72041643
Tortoises headbutt as a sign of aggression. They're very territorial. That cat should show that dumb shellhead who's boss though.
>>72041536
>that concerned pupper hoping humie will stop the violence
>>72041670
Depends on the cat. Most will put up with annoying things for a while before they are pushed too far and retaliate.
>>72041630
>>72041676
>thinking that cat can do a damned thing to that tortoise
it's lucky he's just butting and not chomping down on that tail with jaws fit to bisect a toad
>>72041536
Who knew turtles were such brave creatures
>>72041782
Just flip the little turd onto his back. Done.
>>72041630
The cat is a metaphor for white America and the turtle is a metaphor for blacks
>>72041738
Dumb kid deserved it. Better that he learns early on that abuse is not acceptable.
>>72041868
kek. Nice.
>>72041868
>Dey be emptyin' out da cities and takin' all da money wit dem! We deed da federal gubbermint programs so we can build da pyramids!
>>72041004
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sZiIkc87K4
>>72041843
Yeah, or it could lead it into a pit or steal its owner's gun! It's a cat, it can't strategize shit past what it's evolved specifically to do.
Besides, tortoise would just call his friend >>72040854
>>72040816
I've seen a nigger pour boiling water onto a cat. Fucking niggers, no empathy, no soul. I bet if we replaced niggers with gorillas in an urban enviornment they would be better citizens.
>>72041868
So true, we just want to be left alone. Nigs always instigating shit even though we could crush them
>>72041934
>Cats
>Can't stratagize
>>72039602
>>72041041
Those niggas learn how to open doors and flush toilets, they can smack a turtle on back.
>>72041972
They do worse shit than that dude. One of the great African past-times is burning people alive.
>>72039060
Melissa every damn day. Only a retard would choose jungle cat
>be melissa
>have more money than most faggots on /tv/ will have in their entire lives
>can buy or do whatever the fuck I want
>eat tasty food
>get even fatter
>die a happy death
Or
>be jungle cat
>look majestic as fuck
>gotta find food
>other assholes want your food
>no house or fridge to store it in
>eat it as is or lose it
>die from a random infection
>get killed by human
>get sent to a zoo
Looking majestic is a noble thing to strive for and something you'd never be able to achieve as Melissa, but the comforts you'd be able to afford as her outweigh that.
>>72041924
Meanwhile in Australia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uca_CKuTHQc
>>72042063
I've seen a few videos of cats set on fire by niggers from liveleak and /b/.
>>72042089
>outweigh
>>72042063
Cancer upon this earth
>>72042098
>A kangaroo will never teach you how to box
>>72042110
Yeah niggers just love burning things. They say that when serial killers are young they usually start fires and torture small animals. Niggers are fucking psychopaths
>>72042063
Save it for >>>/b/ apparently that's where all the racist troll shit is supposed to go. If you're not careful you might get banned senpai.
>>72042089
>looking majestic
What? I want to kill things with my face, be stealthy as shit and shoot through the jungle at high speeds. I don't care about looking majestic you faggot
>>72040439
post
>>72042247
wtf loser
/tv/ is /b/2.0
get fuckef kiddo
>>72042247
Go back to red dirt
>>72042247
kys retard normie
OUT OUT OUT
>>72042303
don’t want to derail a perfectly good big cat thread, you can find it on desuarchive (starts off with >Be anon in webm >Laying with back on ground)
>>72042273
Getting to fuck majestic quality pussy would be alright though.
>>72041604
Speaking of which, the movie could've done with more of this qt.
I just realized I've never seen a fat big cat, yet there's a fuckton of fat human beans like Melissa, why, we, as animals, are so pathetic, /tv/?
>>72042462
They only eat raw, lean, meat and they get tons of cardio.
>>72041604
I don't understand how Zootopia isn't /trash/ yet
>/tv/
oh wait it is
>>72042462
Same reason you don't see any disabled animals like >>72040363
They wouldn't survive
>>72042456
Definitely.
>>72042462
because we don't need to hunt our food and can indulge in the most precious selections (sugars/fats) at will
unlike in nature, where fat denotes success, being a /fit/ human is impressive because it's ever-present proof that you possess healthy willpower and discipline, a silent statement of superiority over amerifats in twigs
>>72040629
>Seal: Ahh!
>Cameraman: Ahh!
>>72041536
I was waiting for this cat to go REEEEEEEE and fucking butcher that turtle cunt
>>72042787
confirmed fat 6'+ sperg who spent his schoolyears bullied by manlet chads
>>72041536
What was this turtles end goal?
>>72042884
The destruction of all non-turtle life, obviously.
Turtles are soulless murder machines.
>>72042098
>>72042997
Did the kangaroo just kill the other one or is it still alive?
>>72043070
It's still alive, just exhausted. You can see it trying to grab at the other one after it's done choking it out.
>>72043070
He's alive obviously. This is where Jack Bauer learnt his famous technique
>ywn annoy the shit out of the tigers ;_;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGoJf-d_0KE
>>72044455
excellent american style wildlife clip. I like the 'boing' sounds when the monkey is jumping around.
>>72041004
>you will never have a streetside brawl with a monkey
why live
>>72039286
The very fast speed part
