WELL DONE HUFFLEPUFF WELL DONE...HOWEVER
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WELL DONE HUFFLEPUFF WELL DONE...HOWEVER
dude what did old gandalf say?
>>70849175
>Snape, I know you're mad about getting cucked, but that's no reason to constantly dick over Gryffindor, and certainly no reason to favour slytherin
>Snape, cut that shit out
>fuck it, I warned you, you cheeky little twat
>>70849175
To think that once I thought Dumbleposting had legs...
>>70849302
>now let's go back focusing all our attention to Our prodigy Harry Potter and suck his dick wherever he goes.
>>70849175
Dumb dumposter
>>70849403
the one saving grace of this series was how harry finally learned what a colossal cunt Dumbledore truly was
>>70849786
why rape when you can give polyjuice to a friend and fuck anybody that way?
>>70849786
Love potion wears off though, and I assume it's not too difficult to put two and two together.
The connoisseur's choice for rape is obviously polyjuice or Imperius, since the latter tends to fuck about with memories.
>>70849175
Hufflepuff best house
Prove me wrong you can't
>>70849175
I like Albusposting. Keep it up.
>>70851056
Chris Chan
>>70849175
nigga looks like he's getting a promotion
>>70849913
He did? Dumbledore is? Sorry I only watched the one with the giant talking spiders in the forest.
>>70851682
As a teen, Dumbledore was for enslaving muggles, pureblood purity and (possibly) killed his sister while fighting his brother.
He also propped up an ignorant orphan boy as his only shield against wizard Hitler without informing or even arming said orphan boy.
>>70851838
He seemed like such a kindly old man though. Surely he learned from his mistakes.
>>70851870
>He also propped up an ignorant orphan boy as his only shield against wizard Hitler without informing or even arming said orphan boy.
>I’ve seen too many Slave stories where Harry is gay, let the slaves take control somehow, or treats them as equals - for once I want to see a story where Harry is a true Master, who is in control and forces the female slaves to do the things HE wants them to do, be it beat them, force them to have sex or things like that.
Fan fiction
>>70851906
Harry potter is a hero, he can take it.
>>70851056
their mascot is a badger lmao
their name is retarded lmao
>>70851940
Harry is a mediocre wizard and a bad friend.
>>70851940
The only reason he could take it was because Dumbledore sent him to an abusive family the first 11 years before letting him go into danger several times causing him to lose his father figure and be mentally unstable for some time before hardening up.
>>70851981
I thought he's the prophesied chosen one with his special scar.
>>70852010
He barely even tried to become a good wizard, never had any really hunger to learn or to excel in magical prowess. He was entirely average in most respects.
Were he just a normal student, he would have been quiet content to coast along on his mediocrity and would have put more effort into flying a broom than anything else.
>>70852356
*quite content
>>70852356
I know this point is overstated, but seriously, Harry was such a little shit. You find out at 11 years old that magic is real and you don't go out of your way to read all about that shit? History of Magic sounds fucking kickass, I'd have been asking for extra homework and shit.
>>70852427
Exactly, I couldn't agree more. I blame Ron for this shit.
>>70852427
Anyone would've gotten power hungry as fuck if they found out about magic at 11.
>>70851838
Dumble did way more than use Harry to fight Voldemort. He was also able to fight him 1v1.
>>70852427
>History of Magic taught by A FUCKING GHOST
FTFY
>>70852481
>History
A useless subject. Let me learn the subject that turns gold into lead and become invisible.
whole lot of fanfiction readers itt
>>70852521
to be honest no one else would actually discuss Harry Potter in 2016
>muh black hermione
>muh shitty new play
I don't even consider that canon
>>70852473
Once. And accomplished nothing.
Despite knowing about Horcruxes for years, Dumbledore found only one. He didn't even directly tell Harry about them, just let him work it out through skimming the memories of other people. Knowing he was dying, he sent a mildly retarded 17 year old Harry on a mission to find and destroy Wizard hitler's soul without even telling him what to look for or telling him he was dying or anything he learned during that last vital year.
>>70852568
He also literally knew that one of the friends he set Harry up with was a shit who would wig out. Good stuff.
>>70852589
Don't forget Dumbledore also pretty much left to blind chance whether the Ministry would actually pass on his willed items to them or not.
They could have just as easily said nah and not handed them over.
Dumbledore is not only a terrible person, but a terrible educator.
>>70852678
>Student poisons another student in order to rape them
American principal:
>Police called, student expelled, full trial
Dumbledore:
>Literally nothing
>>70852678
The fact that they had a Whomping Willow on school grounds without so much as a fence around it or a warning sign, not to mention the hordes of giant spiders in the adjacent forest, the poltergeist, the basalisk in the basement, and a number of other death traps in the building really goes to show that wizards really don't care at all about the safety of their children.
>>70852727
>School teacher literally torturing a student
American principal:
>Report teacher to the authorities, fire teacher
McGonnagal
>Advise the student to keep his head down.
>>70852727
Cool.
>>70852766
I lost all respect for her when she said that.
You'd have expected her to barge in and make the toad suffer.
>>70852748
It's kind of like Sparta. If you can't survive Hogwarts, we didn't want you anyway.
>>70852766
Man, wizards are really insane.
>>70852748
Or maybe wizard children aren't fucking retarded and don't go into dangerous areas like some stupid nigger would
>>70852766
>New teacher torturing a stuent in front of other students who are laughing.
American principal
>Teacher fired, police called, students attend mandatory counselling
McGonnagal
>Tells teacher not to do that again, students told to run to lessons or they'd be late.
>>70852836
You'd think parents would care though.
It's only when kids start dying like flies that they're called back home.
>>70852678
Have you ever considered just how deadly Quidditch is? For an official school sport, it seems incredibly easy to die. Most of the game takes place about 20 meters off the ground, and full contact tackling is encouraged, with no safety gear. The kids aren't even strapped to their brooms.
If somebody falls off and lands on their head, that's it. They're fucking dead.
>>70852868
The parents have already been to Hogwarts, so they know you'd have to be dumb as fuck to get killed, and anything less severe than that is fine because they can literally regrow broken bones anyway
Modern parents are just cotton wool cunts who have no fucking idea how to be parents and think stopping their child ever getting injured or going outside is good parenting. It isn't.
>>70852933
They deserve it for playing it.
Why would anyone watch that shit anyway? Seems to me like a good chance to do some stuff in the castle while the plebs are distracted.
>>70852678
>Rivalry betweeen fellow schools
Muggles
>friendly sports matches organised by teachers, occasional pranks organised by students
Wizards
>kids pulled out of classes for a year; their final year of school, compete in a tournament organised by the government involving deadly obstacles and kidnapping loved ones
>>70852956
How do they even see what's going on?
>>70852993
Binoculars and similar, I suppose. But at that point, why bother?
RAVENCLAW, YOU REALLY PULLED IT OUT OF THE BAG, YOU WON THE HOUSE CUP, GOT THE BEST GRADES IN EVERY SUBJECT, AS A HOUSE COLLECTIVE LOGGED OVER 1200 HOURS IN COMMUNITY SUPPORT AND OUTREACH ASSISTANCE... HOWEVER...
Let us not forget the power of friendship when Hermione allowed Ron to borrow a pencil in potions class... 50 points to Gryffindor
Sometimes, true courage is needed to tell the truth when Harry let Hermione know that the hairband she was wearing didn't match her eyes... 75 points to Gryffindor
and finally, for persevering where others may not, Ron Weasely, for just getting on with it while you were having a really shit Tuesday, 100 points to Gryffindor,
WHICH MEANS...
>>70852933
physical injuries such as broken necks, spines, internal bleeding, cracked skulls... can all be fixed with magic.
Only curses kill permanently.
>>70852678
A combination lock is nothing compared to the power of Alohomora.
>it's an indirectly-discussing-how-shitty-J-K-Rowling-is-at-writing-but-without-ever-openly-acknowledging-it thread
>>70852678
They have literal magic at their disposal, being little bitches and not utilizing it to solve their problems is entirely their fault.
>>70853074
Sometimes I think the world would be better off if Harry Potter had never taken off and we only had book 1.
Book 1 is the only one that stands well on its own.
We all remember the point when we were first reading it and imagining what would happen next, and how.
I can't be the only one that was very disappointed.
>>70852678
>teacher openly bulllies the child whose mother he was in love with for years
American principal:
>Kid removed from teachers classes, teacher given suspension, disciplinary action and counselling
Dumbledore;
>Giggles with Snape about it in the staff room (probably)
>>70853074
Only the general public and the media at large will refuse to say how mediocre of a writer she is, she's called out everywhere else
>>70853134
>general public and the media at large
So most people? "Everywhere else" kind of loses all meaning when you put it like that.
>>70853103
>turns out Voldemort was just an edgy teenager who was butthurt about his family
>dumbledor was suddenly went full retard with the magic ring
>kept trying to hold up the same tired "is snape a good guy or a bad guy?" shit for several books
>wizard government seemed to be amazingly clever at hiding themselves and very efficient in the first book, but progressively in each book they get more incompetent to absurd degrees
>every book the school becomes more of a deathtrap that no sane parent would ever send their kids to
the series really did go to shit quickly
>>70852678
>Lycanthrope is employed and allowed to work with children, during a full moon transforms and attempts to dismember and devour children
American principal:
>Principal imprisoned, Werewolf is hunted and killed, children given counseling for years
Dumbledore;
>Allows Werewolf to leave with no hard feelings
>>70852945
>they can literally regrow broken bones anyway
Huh, that's true.
>student opens up a shop where they sell roofies, chemical weapons and food that's never been examined by the government agency in charge
American president
>suspension, maybe expulsion for everyone invloved. Definite police involvment
>Dumbledore
literally nothing, eventually they take it up as their profession
>>70853188
This
Decent characters like Remus and Sirius eased it's death, but after goblet of fire there was no point in reading
Still read them all
>>70853179
I don't much value the opinion of people who claim she is the greatest author of all time and viciously attack you and send death threats if you point out her books are poorly written shit
>>70853206
*escaped prisoner convicted mass murderer werewolf
>>70853258
I stopped caring (far too late as well I might add) after she killed Sirius.
I should have stopped caring as soon as we got Time Turners.
>>70852678
>Literal soul eating demons show up at your school looking for an escaped prisoner, frequently attack and consume parts of students souls
American principal:
>School evacuated and abandoned, 50 mile quarantine zone
Dumbledore;
>Watch out for those Dementors
>>70852945
Hogwarts is based on an upper class british education system which is basically like that.
The requirement for enrolment is literally by birth or some shit so parents arent gonna pull kids out just because hitler came back
>>70853103
it would be fine if Rowling had done all the books, but it's the best example in history of overratedness being an actual problem. Barbara Cartland sold a shitload of books too without it filtering into popular culture in a totally overblown way.
>>70853335
I get what you mean, I think, I can't help but suspect she changed a lot of it to meet expectation or to "provoke more interest", and that the actual story she had was lost to her desire for more attention.
>>70853312
This one gets me, the dementors are like the most dangerous thing to ever exist and nobody gives a shit about them coming to the school.
>>70853260
around the release of Avatar I had a fan of HP complain that it was just a fun good vs evil story "like Star Wars". I responded "or Harry Potter" and got a blank stare. people compartmentalize this shit I guess.
>always liked Snape as a character
>years on /tv/ and 4chan has made me tainted on the concept of cuckoldry
>reread series
>can't stop thinking of NTR situations where Snape has to watch James pound Lily in front of him>suddenly imagine a moment where young Snape fell into a closet and gets locked in while cleaning up the potions room to get brownie points for the Potions Master
>he tries to pry himself out
>he stops when he hears people outside
>It's James and Lily
>they start making out cause "no one is here"
>starts getting heated and sexual
>James starts pounding Lily against the closet Snape is in
>Snape can't take it
>he faps furiously while crying and heart breaking
I fucking hate this place.
>>70853380
>>always liked Snape as a character
You were fucked even before you got here, and Snape isn't a cuckold, he's a beta orbiter which is even worse.
>>70853312
Don't forget, Dumbedore invited the Demontors.
Which In hindsight, allowing FLYING GHOST DEVIL DEMONS WHO EAT SOULS to guard your school, oh and by the way, they WILL try to eat your soul if you bump into one, was probably a really REALLY bad idea.
>>70853380
I fee like I should really be judging you, but its not like I am any better.
>>70853363
I think she might have made the stories darker than she originally planned because of the additional weight of expectation, but she did it so ineptly (no sex, Dobby and Lupin are meant to register as major character deaths etc) and while continuing to use exactly the same plot devices so I doubt it really changed much in practice.
>name is Dumbledore
>he's not dumb
Fucking seriously?
>>70853418
that kind of thing is just a byproduct of how Rowling never considers any aspects of her fantasy universe in combination with each other. everything is a self-contained idea that is either comedic or dramatic and has no wider implications or context unless she needs it to.
>Dear mom, I'm having lots of fun at hogwarts! A lot of stuff happened lately. Earlier this week part of my soul got eaten by a dementor, and it turns out one of my teachers was an escaped murderer and a werewolf.
>>70853418
>Dumbedore invited the Demontors.
He didnt invite them, the government basicially forced them upon him.
Which speaks more about how fucking retarded the wizard government is
>>70853498
One good con-man with magic could probably topple the entire Ministry of Magic in a matter of weeks.
>>70853444
Reading deathly hallows the first time i actually had to go back and reread a paragraph or two when someone died because nearly all the deaths happened so out of nowhere.
Same shit with Sirius, it felt completly out of nowhere and that stupid veil didnt make it clearer if he was dead or not.
![95fccce1d12315b2952de38c8c5c5f73[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qLzhM0O.jpg "95fccce1d12315b2952de38c8c5c5f73[1]")
>>70853487
>time travel exists
>none of the bad guys use it
>none of the good guys use it
>the only use is to help some nerdy cunt study more
>>70853481
Did you know that dumbledore is an olde timey word for bumblebee?
What did she mean by this?
>>70853558
that's pretty much what voldemort did
>tfw 11 years old
>tfw secretly expecting letter from hogwarts
>tfw it never arrives
>>70853380
What's sad about Snape is that whenever he looks at Harry, he sees the man who fucked him over. But when he looks closer, he sees that Harry has his mother's eyes. The one small piece that reminds him that he's not completely the person he hates.
>>70851682
Both Deathly Hallows movies cut out most of the (fascinating) Dumbledore backstory
You end the series very conflicted on what to think of Dumbledore
>>70853600
Nah he went the retard route, I can't deny his end result but he was obvious.
What I meant was more a slimeball asshole who seems good and on their side but backstabs, mindfucks and imperiouses his way to the top.
Subtle as opposed to being snakefaced wizard hitler
>>70853498
It's a smart idea even if insanely risky.
>we can't find this criminal but we know we'll try to get to this place just to find Harry
>oh, I know, we'll just send these ghost things to scout endlessly around the school
Not having them protect the school was probably a worse idea than not letting them roam around the school.
I miss Sheevposting. I miss good friends. This meme is nothing on those.
>>70853657
You mean like Palpatine?
>>70853709
Yes, good example.
>>70853657
Its funny because young Voldemort fit the bill to do this kinda shit.
The guy was basicially the biggest honor student, adored by all his professors, leading his own gang of underlings and getting every good position he needed, while he went arround directing a giant snake killing off people he didnt like and sucking dark art knowledge out of his teachers.
Then he turned retard, took the most evil name possible, changed his appearance to look more evil and started an open war with the government
>>70853726
Its why I think sometimes there is merit to the fanon idea that he lost his sanity with every soul split he did.
>>70853726
I think he knew he couldn't trick Dumbledore after opening the Chambers and it would never work out.
Though when you're as powerful as he was and managed to find a way to never die, might as well just say fuck it and destroy everything.
>>70853752
>the fanon idea that he lost his sanity with every soul split he did.
That's an interesting idea. He didn't seem that insane before cutting his soul in the first time. Doing it 6 times is something that was supposed to be impossible.
>>70853577
Read the plot of the cursed child
>>70853726
So absically what palaptine did
>>70854006
nah, Palpatine only went full obvious after he had already won.
>>70851981
>Albus, did I ever tell you about your namesake?
>he sent me to an abusive home for protection, despite there being literally hundreds of people capable of casting similarly effective spells, that would have died for me too. Then when I got to school, he let me go on a wild ride which ended with me, an 11 year old, fighting a dark wizard aided by the most evil man who ever lived.
>then, he encouraged me to go on various adventures which culminated in such charming shenanigans as fleeing from giant homicidal spiders, killing giant homicidal snakes that can kill with a glance and desperately fighting off soul sucking abominations of nature.
>then, he let me risk my life repeatedly against dragons, drowning and the epitome of evil without lifting a finger until the very end
>as a follow up, he left me on my own again, kept me in the dark and as a result allowed me to nearly go insane from various pressures, culminating in my father figure's preventable death.
>then, he prepared me for yet another life risking wild ride by giving me a loose objective and absolutely no idea how to complete it.
>and he was a good friend
>>70854048
You forgot how albus also didn't lift a finger to help the school vs the ministry in book 5, despite there being no real reason why he couldn't have.
otherwise, 9/10 good post
>>70854077
I think he didn't want to draw attention to himself while he was still actually building an army
>>70854095
He could have slapped the ministries shit without even trying, he had the eldar wand, and he had plenty of supporters
if he wanted to he could have taken charge and stomped voldemort's shit in a year
>>70853103
it turned to shit after prisoner of azkaban
>>70852568
To be fair, Dumbledore himself didn't know shit about the Horcruxes besides how they were created or could be destroyed, and he wasn't sure Voldemort had any until Harry destroyed one by accident. Even then he only ever found enough information to track down two of them. Harry only found out about the remaining ones by sheer luck like always.
>>70849285
Imagine this asshole as Voldemort.
DUDE IF I KILL POTTER HE WINS LMAO
>>70854148
But isn't that basically how Harry won in the end?
Which brings up another point.
How come Voldemort didn't remember he put a Horcrux in Harry as a child?
>>70854216
He didn't do it intentionally you retard and he was somewhat busy almost killing himself at the time so a little hard to notice.
>Spell exists that create a map that can track everyone's movements inside a building
>Nobody ever uses this except a bunch of high school students
>>70854260
I still find it bullshit
>one of the hardest and darkest spells you could do
>do it by accident
>>70854216
Twas an accident and as a result of his backfiring curse
>>70854281
>Thousands of years of wizard history
>The spell to cut up a nigger is invented by a student in the 20th century
>>70854306
Why would you ever need a spell to cut anything?
>>70853618
I remember when the first movie came out, I was like 7 at that time, I had a conversation with a friend on how we don't know if magic isn't real since we didn't turn 11 yet and there was still a chance we'd get our letter from Hogwarts.
Man, real life just sucks. There is a reason people have such high hopes for VR. If we ever achieve holo-deck levels of simulation you can be part of any universe you want. Whether it's Harry Potter, LotR or whatever weird shit you're into. And there isn't even a risk of dying.
>>70854331
Cutting things is kind of useful. Some of the earliest tools man ever made was to cut.
>>70852356
>>70852427
I've always thought this was weird. Rowling treats it like a normal school but really kids would be so fucking keen to learn. They'd spend all their spare time practicing new spells or learning how to turn into animals or something. Especially the muggleborns, who there's no way they could see magic as dreary and ordinary. Everybody would be like Hermione, but with more of a focus on practical magics probably.
>>70854372
Not when you have magic.
>>70854433
>not when you have magic
>The spell to cut up a nigger is invented by a student in the 20th century
>>70854466
Why would you ever need to cut anything?
>you just gotta, okay? Cutting is important and shit
>>70852748
>hundreds of children gather in an arena to watch youths tangle with dragons
>dragon immediately breaks its chains and nearly kills all the teachers
It's like being a wizard compels you to be as irresponsible as possible.
>>70854524
Are you pretending to be retarded?
>>70854524
Someone who is actually too retarded for Harry Potter you must be one in a million.
>>70854563
>>70854548
No, just incredibly tired.
>>70853040
Underrated.
>>70854582
If people never needed to cut anything why did they invent shears, scissors and knives?
>>70854196
he 'died' because when voldy killed his parents, it split his soul again and made harry a horcrux of himself
so letting voldemort kill him killed the part of the soul that harry was protecting, and then he used the resurrection stone which dumbledore conveniently gave him in the snitch to wake up and kill voldemort when he was defenceless
at least that's what i think happened, i read all the books when i was younger and i still get lost at what rowling was trying to do at parts
the series is good, the author is fucking shite who got lucky and won't let anyone forget it
Also there is an actual spell just for cutting shit the one in HBP is just specifically for cutting up fagboys and he probably didn't invent it just rediscovered it reading some old book about dark arts.
>>70854524
Why would you ever create a spell for anything?
>you just gotta, okay? Spells are important and shit
>>70854617
I dunno. I'm too tired to think honestly. It does sound stupid that an appliance cutting spell doesn't exist. I saw more that spell as an attack cutting spell which is pointless since you have a instant kill spell.
>I'm going to cut you rather than insta-kill you
>>70854288
it's not a spell, it's more of a technique which he just got in the habit of doing after fucking himself up 6 times before
>>70854645
yeah, the logic of the spells was pretty arbitrary.
>>70854663
The idea of one instant kill spell is also really stupid. Why not just develop a spell that boils someones brain, or implodes their heart, or drives their ribcage into their lungs? These guys are supposed to be evil after all.
The answer is that it's a kids series and you aren't supposed to apply critical thinking though.
>>70852513
>oh and btw Hitler was actually a puppet propped up by proto Voldemort
How is this shit not fun?
>>70854645
I'm pretty sure he invented it but yeah it's a specific form of cutting or whatever.
>>70854375
The problem was that she never shows a separation of practical and theoretical.
I can get being bored with theory, but there is literally no excuse for not being interested in forcing reality to go fuck itself.
Frustrated if you can't do it, maybe, but bored?
>>70854642
Yeah but, killing Harry actually made him win.
So leafman was right.
>>70852629
I don't know why they wouldn't, especially the book and the deluminator, which was his property. If he wants to give away his belongings in a will, they have to oblige. The snitch they might have not given, because it was school property. And the sword he knew they would not give to harry, so he found a way around it.
Would you a toilet witch, /tv/?
>>70854777
Does she conjure a street when she needs to shit?
What kind of defensive spells did they even have other than fucking expelliarmus? Someone should have made some real cool shit like a spell that makes a kind of gravitational well for magic that sucks in all the spells being cast, then the user can throw that shit like a bomb.
>3 "unforgivable" curses
>land you a life sentence in prison
>main character uses 2 of them
>is forgiven immediatly
>>70854775
Wizard government shits over laws and expectations though.
>>70854807
Well it'd be a dull series if the rest of the books just had Harry sitting in a cell going slowly insane.
>>70852568
Half Blood Prince had such a stupid ending when you think about it
>oh I know I'm dying so instead of telling Harry everything I know about Voldemort I'll just leave cryptic clues and allow myself to be killed by Snape :^)
>>70854807
>killing someone instantly and painlessly is unforgivable
>using a spell to set them on fire and watch them burn isn't
>tfw kept reading these books as a 12y/o so i could imagine going to hogwarts and try to forget about my shitty childhood.
>>70849786
Polyjuice + the imperiatus curse + the obliviate charm = virtually undetectable rape. There are even spells to remove any signs of rape, like tergeo.
Rape culture in the wizarding world would be undefeatable desu
Do we really need this fucking thread every single day?
>>70854827
she didn't have to make him use the curses
>>70854847
It's because she wanted the dramatic Snape flashback at the end
>>70854847
It was still a shocking way to end it though
>>70852678
its supposed to feel like an old-time school
so the rules are less harsh
>>70853618
Sucks to be you. I got invited and just graduated from wizard school.
>>70854853
would still be sentenced for murder, but you can use that spell for other shit aswell, the 3 unforgiveable curses are only applicable to do harm.
>>70854880
It was, and 10 years later it still is, but in retrospective it's stupid
>>70854896
You could use imperius for all sorts of good shit though.
>serial killer is about to murder someone
>mind control him to get him to stop and then turn himself in to the cops
>>70854860
Well done, anon, well done
HOWEVER
>>70854807
>everyone always talks about how the unforgivable curses are the worst things ever
>meanwhile there's shit like the spell raising corpses to do your bidding and Fiendfyre
>>70853726
>>70853825
People regularly mentioned that he was so charismatic that he was expected to be the prime minister one day.
On that note, do wizards even have elections? Or are they just forced to take shit by basically dictators?
>>70854942
There's a spell that fucking REMOVES BONES FROM LIVING BODIES
>>70854762
Yeah I completely agree. History sounded boring as shit in the books but learning almost infinite power is always interesting.
>>70854969
Is there a problem with Protection from Skellingtons?
>>70854969
>Breakyarm Armendo
Fucking seriously?!
>>70854999
kek, and checked
But the idea of it being applied to, say, the skull of someone alive is just...
>>70854928
true, but weren't special forces wizards allowed to use them tho? or was it just those mates of harry that were mates with dumbledore?
Why didn't Harry use magic to illegally acquire guns and shoot voldemort?
>>70853563
I still don't get the point of the veil.
Was it ever explained?
Also I remember the writing was extremely vague as well, something like "Sirius passed beyond the veil", which a 10 year old me took as him just falling behind it
>>70855033
Harry and Dumbledores friends were all criminals and rebels so I don't think they cared much, and they don't get punished because they are the good guys.
>>70855029
Jesus I didn't think about that
>making someone's skull dissappear
That would be some Thing-worthy body fuckery
>>70855055
I had to read the paragraph where harry finally kills voldemort in dh like a billion times because its so poorly worded and ambiguous. 'and the wand flew and harry caught it and suddenly he was dead' wtf
>>70855055
I was honestly expecting him to come back somehow or some shit.
>>70855029
Jesus.
>>70855055
Rowling was trying to be poetic and shit. He didn't get brutally smashed to death, he passed on, beyond the veil which for some reason isn't a metaphor but is a literal veil just out in the middle of a room for no reason.
>>70855078
Or segments of the spine. You could really drag that one out.
>>70851838
>killed his sister while fighting his brother
correct me if I'm incorrect but wasn't it a threeway fight between the brothers and grindlewald?
>>70855044
Because it takes place in the UK (no freedom) and is also written by a British SJW.
What a huge disappointment that final battle was.
They had magic, they could do literally anything, but by the end of the series all they did was shoot lasers.
I expected wizard battles to include all kinds of crazy shit, but instead we got fucking stormtrooper shootouts.
>>70855143
There was a nice duel between Snape and Mcgonagall where she shoots daggers or some shit at him and then the midget makes the suit of armour grab him or something but it never made it to the movie I think.
>>70854766
Actually what killed Voldy was that nobody was expecting Draco to disarm Dumbledore, and then Harry to disarm Draco, meaning the elder wand would be bound to him.
Dumbledore was either a god of prophecy or the biggest savant ever
>>70855143
>expelliarmus
>stupefy
>expelliarmus
>stupefy
>expelliarmus
>>70854685
So why doesn't he do it every-time?
huffle puiff best house they just chill and blazeit 420 lol
>>70854712
Abracadabra (or whatever it was called) makes it seem like a natural death, thus it keeps up the masquerade
>>70855143
The movie or the book?
The book was kinda silly
It felt like Star Wars ep 3.
>I have the elder wan Voldy
>you underestimate my powers
>don't try it
And then Voldemort's wand flipped in the air and somehow hit himself, making it so that Harry didn't have to kill anyone. Then they shoved Voldemort's body is a closet and celebrated.
>>70855275
>is a closet and celebrated.
in* a closet
>>70854787
underrated post
Did he do anything wrong?
I mean sure he did but he was a magical sociopath with even less chance to become a decent human being.
>It was stated that Voldemort was a result of an unwanted childbirth which involved a love potion so in a result of that he was unable to love or even understand that
He didn't just choose to ignore love or positive emotions he was literally incapable of feeling them. The one who is to blame is Dumbledore who taught him magic.
>>70855173
Yeah that duel was dope af.
Shame the final duel was a zen one liner
>>70854762
Sounds like actual school
>>70855309
He didn't play it smart. As mentioned earlier, he could have gone the Palpatine route, slimed his way to the top, and become unassailable. He would have been able to push through any policy he wanted.
Instead despite being respected and admired he went down the political insurgent route.
>>70854891
(WIZARD WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
>>70855339
>He would have been able to push through any policy he wanted
Yeah but that's boring. It's clear that Voldemort wanted world domination.
>>70855339
Wizard SJWs fifth column like Dumbledore and his ilk would've been a thorn in his side
Gryffindor wins lol
>>70855044
Because Voldemort is immortal whilst his Horcruxes exist
>>70855363
Also it's weird that no other country reacts to the fact that there's been a fucking coup in the UK
>>70855055
Same. I literally had no idea that Sirius had died until someone mentioned it afterward.
>>70855363
And who is dominating the world atm? The people who couldn't be more obviously evil and blowing shit up
Or the ones wearing suits who have played the long game their entire lives?
>>70855385
>kill Voldemort
>he uses a Horcrux to get back to life
>repeat step one until no more Horcruxes
>>70855395
Riddle isn't a jew name though
>>70855418
You don't have to be one of the chosen to use their methods.
>>70855395
>And who is dominating the world atm?
The obviously evil people. It's just that nobody gives a shit.
Do you think any dark witches or wizards managed to smuggle wands into azkaban up their asses
Just asking haha
>make horcrux
>put horcrux into highly durable item
>put item in the middle of a desert or antarctica or the ocean
>???
>>70855470
No no, you misunderstand
I meant like cartoon villain obvious, like ISIS and such.
Suits aren't obviously evil to most people
>>70855091
Looking back, I did too. I had to re-read a bunch of sections over and over to get what was happening, which I've never had to do for any other books
The movies are even worse about being nonsensical, if possible
>>70855413
His Horcruxes aren't expended every time he dies
>>70855055
I remember as a kid being completely lost during that scene for that very reason, I just didn't understand what Rowling was describing. I think it was her use of the word "dias" (or a word similar to it) which tripped me up though. I didn't know that word.
>>70855491
>horcrux the entire planet
>no one will destroy it because they'll die too
>???
BRAVO ROWLING
>>70853040
Thanks for the laughter anon
>>70855491
Losing part of your soul literally makes you a comic book villain incapable of long term planning and good decision making.
>>70855491
But they were in secure locations, not to mention that making it a horcrux already makes it invincible
>cave in the middle of buttufck nowhere
>in a super secret room with no end that is made up of trash
>in wizarding fort knox
>>70855309
Makes me think of that scene where he tries to embrace Draco in the last movie. It's like he knows other people do this kind of thing to show affection, but he actually doesn't get it so it just comes off as really pitiful and weird.
>>70853074
I like the books. Mostly because I think it would be fucking sweet to be at hogarth.
>>70855491
>Disable Voldemort
>Restrain
>Put in box
>Put that box inside another box
>Throw in ocean
>a world where magic exists
>they still celebrate christmas and easter
>>70855553
>secure locations
>all horcruxes are significant and notable items in significant and notable locations
The challenger deep is more secure then some fucking cave
>>70855564
I mean Voldemort was legit Dumbledores fault, his first interaction with the magical world was might makes right and the one with the most power can force you to do things. I.E When Dumbledore set his wardrobe of stolen shit on fire to make him return it instead of being, you know, a reasonable adult about it.
>>70855596
Yeah but how the fuck is Voldy going to get to the challenger deep?
>>70855595
the whole religion thing is avoided rather oddly in Harry Potter
>>70855595
Tradition is the only reason most people still do
nobody spends the fucking day at mass or deep in prayer it's just a holiday where you eat a lot of food and give presents
>>70855614
>get a boat
>paddle over to above the challenger deep
>drop horcrux in ocean
>>70855620
why would they even have that specific part of muggle tradition in their culture while disregarding everything else about muggles
>>70855653
It's well documented that horcruxes float in water.
>>70849175
this is such a shitty meme... i love it
>>70855661
Jesus was a wizard, obviously
>>70855682
>find item heavier then a duck
>turn it into a horcrux
>>70855653
>being able to teleport
>not going to the moon and just dropping the horcrux there
>>70855661
maybe wizard started it and muggles picked it up centuries ago
maybe it doesnt even fucking matter she just did it for familiarity
>>70855687
No, there was just a wizard Jesus directly corresponding to that same time with the exact same goals and disposition.
>>70855708
Just turn the entire moon into a horcrux while you are at it.
>>70855492
How are people like David Cameron and Juncker not obviously cartoonishly evil?
>great shitstain unironically puts up "big brother is watching you" posters and is a police state
>they even have the typical "benevolent monarch who's just a puppet ruler for the evil minister" thing going on
>Juncker was one of the main ringleaders stealing probably thousands of billions of euros from every country on the continent, and he's just like "screw the rules I have money and I'm now the boss of the EU"
People are just drooling retards in general and don't care.
>>70855727
This is how my naruto/harry potter crossover fanfiction goes. Infinite horcrux moon plan.
>>70855687
like everyone else in the series?
what made him special?
why do wizards only allude to merlin but never to jeebus?
>>70855596
The challenger deep is also one of the first locations I'd check for a horcrux if I was a wizard.
Outer space on the other hand sounds like a much better hiding place, if he doesn't need to get the thing back that is, I dont really know how this works. Just send it out there a the speed of magic and by the time people start searching for it it's already past alpha centaurii.
>>70854788
Protego
>>70855756
Good luck checking the entire challenger deep for a small object. Not to mention this is a setting with legitimate sea monsters.
Outer space would work too of course, although eventually its going to go into a sun or something.
>>70854860
It takes courage to stand up to our enemies, but even more courage to stand up to people on an anonymous image board. That is why I award anon...10 points.
>>70855780
Would the bubblehead charm work in outer space?
>>70855756
To like restore his body and shit I think he does need to actually find one of his horcruxes, so hiding it in impossible to reach locations kinda defeats the purpose of it.
>>70855708
Can't teleport that distance I think
>>70855746
You aren't arguing with me, I agree with you, however please try to understand, that I was just comparing violent madmen who massacre across the middle east to pampered softboys who work in offices.
One is visually quite obviously evil, the other you have to know about them really to get that.
I agree with you anon.
>>70851056
Hufflepuff are full of LGBT
>>70855800
Do you? How do horcruxes even work? Are they like phylactories where when you die you spawn by them or do you need to ghost travel to them?
>>70855055
It was just the ministry experimenting with weird shit. Probably death in this case. They had brains in a tank as well.
>>70855780
>what is accio
>>70855833
Doesn't work on horcruxes, not to mention that would defeat the purpose
>>70855833
Don't they try accio horcrux, and it doesnt work
>>70855833
>what is accio-defying magic that Voldemort put on all his Horcruxes
>>70855780
Don't these things basically work just like a phylactery? If he put them in an unlivable place then wouldn't he appear there and just die over and over?
>>70854048
Can you remind me how Sirius's death was preventable?
>>70855780
>although eventually its going to go into a sun or something
You underestimate just how far things are apart in space. If you send out something in a straight line in any direction theres a really high chance that it won't hit anything for at least a few thousnad years, even if it's going at the speed of light.
Think of it this way: We can percieve stars several billion light years away, and we can see them because the light they emit hasn't hit anything on it's journey across the universe.
>>70855275
His avada kadavra curse rebounded back at him from Harry's expelliarmus and when it hit him his wand conveniently flew to Harry.
the big question
>>70855825
from what l understand they bind the "main soul" to earth. so if you're killed, your soul just travels around until it finds a suitable host. The horcruxes stay the same as before.
>>70855867
I'm fully aware of that, but the idea of being immortal is to live for those billions of years. One day you are going to wake up and be a horcrux short.
>>70855879
Its no contest, first was the best.
>>70855595
Jesus was a wizard
>>70855881
So you don't actually need to connect to the horcrux after making it? Shit, make half a dozen and shoot them into space then
>>70855891
Fair point, but I think if you lived a billion years a lost horcrux wouldn't bother you that much anymore.
>>70851056
Hufflepuff was literally found to have a room for retarded students
>>70855896
Bollocks, whenever he spoke it was like he had a fat tumour in his throat
>>70855749
Christians would have probably raged if she had said Jesus was a wizard
>>70855879
If you pick 2 you're literally pleb bit
>>70855944
Better that than sounding like her was still gargling Grindlewald's cock
>>70855963
didn't they rage anyways over some stupid reason?
>>70854968
Do you think brits would elect a black man their leader in the 90s?
>>70855833
>>70855844
>>70855845
I thought the reason was because Harry and co. didn't know what the object actually was.
>>70855491
He didn't do that because apparently you don't notice when you have a part of your soul missing, so he wouldn't know whether he has extra lives left.
I mean, it's still retarded but that's the canonical reason to it.
>>70855914
>Soul is bound to Horcrux
>Great idea! I'll just throw them all into space!
>Have to spend 10, 000 years going back to earth when I eventually die
>>70855879
HARRYDIDYAPUTYERNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIRE
>>70855875
Does that spell disarm or blast people back? The movies sort of indicate both.
>>70856081
Do you spawn at the horcruxes or at your body?
>>70849175
CONDOMS ARE NOW MANDATORY IN THE COMMONS
>>70856108
Didn't they said that he didn't die, but became something worm-like and disgusting?
>>70856068
naw man voldemorts magic has to be stronger than that
>>70856095
>movies
It makes you drop whatever you're holding, and if the caster is good enough it blasts the object out of their hand and over to yours.
>>70849175
>we can't have you -losers- representing the school, can we? 594 points from hufflepuff
>>70856108
At the Horcruxes. Voldemort had to sort of hang around the Diadem when he died the first time.
>>70856133
didn't they knock over snape though in the third one?
>as a school treat, all exams have been cancelled!
What?
So how do 5th, 6th and 7th years progress and get the important qualifications?
Why isn't the Ministry doing anything about this?
If you guys want an alt Harry Potter try hpmor.com
It can get a bit autistic at times but it really does a good job of pointing out a lot of rawlings retardation
So does Hogwarts teach their students any skills to survive in the muggle world? like math,science,English, accounting etc etc? how do they survive if they can't use magic in the mundane world?
>>70853040
kex
>>70856169
They have Muggle Studies classes
The cafeteria is a crazed sea of almost-vacationing students. The only thing that stands between the kids and summer vacation is Hardcastle McCormick's hokey points awards show. Dumbledore laments that yet another year has passed and he is even closer to his end, but soon commences in the announcing of the points.
Gryffindor has a measly 312 points. The students' morale is very low at this fart of a total.
Hufferpuffer has 420 points, and that's pretty good for the remedial class that they are.
Viacom, well, this year Viacom has earned 480 points.
And Slytherin, Slytherin has an even 6,000 points. Coming in first for the first time in front of Gryffindor, Slytherin seem to be the champions.
'However', Dumbledore says, 'last minute points are thus.'
Snake is seemingly on the edge of her seat.
'To the Wretched Harmony, for aiding some unmentioned titans and knowing your spells in desperate times, you are awarded 300 points.'
Everyone claps, and Harmony feels like she could cry out a second self of tears so that she could have someone to hug. She feels accepted, though.
'Ronnie the Bear. Ronnie the Bear Weasel, you are bravery, you are courage, you are chess. One thousand points!' The applause begins to increase, as if they know who is to be honoured next and they are just getting ready.
'And of course, the keeper of our hearts, and the true magician who has bewitched us all, Harry Potter, receives six million points for vanquishing the Dracula!'
The crowd goes apeshit, clapping their asses off in a mixture of admiration for Harry and excitement for fucking summer-time to finally get here. The new points mean that Gryffindor are now the champs of the year. They get to hold the trophy and drink from it whatever they wish.
The entire cafeteria, Mouthoil, Snake, and Pitstains included, join in supporting Harry and summer-time. The applause is gigantic. The universe only accepts love today, and, luckily, everyone is in accordance.
>>70856163
That stuff is cringe omega, it was alright earlier on but when it started buying into its own rep it went to shit.
>>70856020
Not sure. Probably about a character resembling Jesus.
>>70856169
From what I remember Muggle Studies was an optional course students could take. I don't know what that course precisely taught, though.
>>70856169
why would you need any of that if you had magic xD
math, engineering - magic will make it work ;)
quantum physics -> magic lol
>>70856199
kek
>>70856095
I think it also had something to do with the elder wand Voldermort was using belonging to Harry and the power of love. It was very vague.
>>70856020
>>70856227
I think it was because of HP luring children to wichcraft
>>70856163
>a bit autistic
It was full spergotron, and plenty retarded on its own.
>>70856278
Sounds like something Christians would complain about.
>Fuck Slytherin, 400 thousand points to Gryffindor.
>maybe the sorting hat should've put you in Griffindor after all since you didn't turn out the be a magic nazi in the end
what did he mean by this?
>>70853064
falling from the sort of heights they play at would kill you on impact though. your head would splatter like a grape
>I never liked these curtains, set fire to them in my fourth year
What did he mean by this?
>>70856199
i'm fucking dying
>>70853380
>always liked Snape
You were already a cuck.
>>70856377
why do we idolize this immoral asshole again?
>>70856448
It's a homosexuality reference.
>>70856462
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u981JhkK46o
>>70856492
K E K
E
K
>>70856477
Because dude gave no fucks.
Killed his sister, wanted to enslave all muggles to tap that kraut evil boipussy, used a boy as a weapon, and terrorized students in multiple ways during all his years as the director of Hogwarts.
>>70856448
>define:flamer
>Extremely flamboyant homosexual. Very bright clothing, loud speach, upbeat attitude, often noisy or annoying, intrusive. Very very gay...
As we know, the dormitories in Harry Potter are gender segregated. Dumbledore was remarking upon his time in fourth year as an extremely precocious young wizard, with a penchant for buggery. He was a 'flamer', hence the fire motif.
Gays are always complaining about interior design problems too like 'drapes' or in this case 'curtains'.
>>70855044
Harry should have just led Voldemort to where the Dursleys live. Vernon would have blown a fuse and spraypainted Voldy on the walls with his shotgun, because Vernon is a true Brit and a Brexiter.
>>70856377
>During the reading of Dumbledore's will
>"I of course hold off of the Houses in great esteem, none more than the others, HOWEVER"
>"Six million points to Gryffindor"
wait since when did Dumbledore kill his sister?
>>70856684
Book 7
>>70856684
>did Dumbledore kill his sister?
Allegedly.
>>70856721
why? how?
>>70854642
I'm so glad i never read past the fourth book
Honestly I don't plane the Slytherins for joining with Voldemort in the last book. Fuck Dumbledore and his favoritism.
>>70856741
battled gw
shots fired
sister dead
>>70856741
Fight between Dumby, Grindelward and Aberborth
Ariana got caught in the crossfire
>>70856773
I meant blame instead of plane. Fuck baneposting screwing up my auto-correct.
>>70856664
>Dumbledore's will
>and last of all, I give Gryffindor six billion points all year, every year
>>70853752
>the fanon idea that he lost his sanity with every soul split he did.
this is actually canon
>>70856741
He, his little brother and his best friend were all trying to kill each other and she got in the way of one of their curses.
>>70856809
Is it? I thought he just lost the appearance of humanity.
>>70856773
>implying he wasn't just acting against Snape's blatant favoritism
So since Godfric Griffindor was apparently a badass since the thing representing him is a sword, why don't the kids in that house learn how to fight hand to hand?
>>70856887
Because that would require good writing and planning.
>>70856887
It was a ceremonial sword famalam, wand>CQC every time.
>Harry Potter, l'm gonna make your life hell because of something, you have no control over
what did he mean by this
>>70857158
>I'm going to relentlessly bully this kid whose parents were tortured to insanity by the people I used to work with
>>70856501
This is pure gold
Reminder that the time turner was the biggest mistake of the series.
>>70857158
>all my horrible deeds are nullified by the revelation that l only did them ironically
>>70856163
>If you guys want an alt Harry Potter try hpmor.com
>It can get a bit autistic at times but it really does a good job of pointing out a lot of rawlings retardation
No it doesn't. It's terrible fucking writing without any of the charm of the books. Where's the value in standing on top of somebody else's work and say "this is what you did wrong, I can do better using the same story framework and guidelines that you came up with"? Why would you recommend that
I already have my autism daily dose by posting in this shithole 10h per day, I don't need this extra shit on my plate
>>70856163
I read a bit of that, and while badass Quirrel was kinda cool, Harry's unstoppable autism made it too annoying to continue.
>>70857499
>odran
???
>>70857340
>son, did I ever tell you about the guy who you got your middle name from?
>my father cucked him so he helped kill my parents, bullied a boy whose parents his friends tortured into a mental asylum, killed the guy you got your first name from, who by the way used to be a nazi because he was a flaming faggot for hitler and played everyone including me like a damn fiddle until he died.
>where was I? Oh yes, they were good friends
>>70856163
>look at all these useless trivia i read, that means i'm smart
>look at how many scientists I can say, that means i'm smart
>look at all these big books that I've read, that means i'm smart
The worst kind of pseudointellectual garbage.
>>70857515
Pay him no heed, he's obsessed with some namefag/tripfag and does that in every HP thread.
>>70857515
A 28 year old paedo that surrounds himself with underage Harry potter fans.
>>70853285
You're combining Lupin and Sirius.
>>70853380
I don't think you know what a cuckold is.
>>70857527
>>70857340
how do you guys like my oc?
>>70852867
To be fair Malfoy deserved it
>>70853481
Have you not been reading this thread, anon? He's either retarded or a sadistic psychopath.
>>70858033
propably the latter as he's certainly smart
>>70857956
Dank.
>>70855055
Especially in book 6 (7?) when he remembers the mirror that Sirius gave him that would let them communicate. Nope, nothing.Also that mirror could have made the entire climax of book 5 irrelevant.
>>70855521
Yeah, I also had no idea what a dais was.
>>70858123
>Also that mirror could have made the entire climax of book 5 irrelevant.
That was the point you dope.
>>70855862
Using the mirror that Sirius gave Harry earlier to contact him FOR THAT EXACT PURPOSE
>>70855944
At least he didn't slip into an American actor despite being Irish.
>>70855491
put horcrux on a stone, then sneak it onto a rocket, good luck with that wizard fucks.
>>70855055
If they knew what the veil did then it wouldn't be in the department of weird shit in the first place, anon.
>>70858457
Odds are the rocket will eventually hit a star that traps him with its gravitational pull and everything will be incinerated.
>>70856197
>>70856232
Which is clearly useless. Arthur Weasley works in the Department of Muggle Something and still doesn't know shit.
>>70856684
>>70856741
his sister was a tard, he had a 3 way fight with his brother and grindelward, after grindelward tries to hurt his brother i think, she wanders in after hearing the noise and gets killed.
grindelward flees like a bitch
dumbledore turns into a bitch
aberforth turns into a hermit
>>70858457
being unable to die is just as bad a fate as being destined to die.
You would want to be able to reach your own horcruxes at any time.
Only then you are truly the master of death.
>>70857158
I basically sold out his parents and got them violentally tortured and now I hate the kid they spawned.
>>70858489
yeah but it aint no basilisk's blood bruh.
>>70853380
>Lily suddenly asks James to transform into a stag in the middle of it
>>70858591
>there are no basilisks in space
>>70858591
Wasn't fire a way to destroy horrorcruxes too?
Impacting into a star is not only fire, it'll burn the horrorcrux to ashes, and then it'll disintegrate those ashes.
ever thought about what implications the polyjuice potion has?
l mean, you just know that there is some shady store in the knockturn alley, selling stuff like scarlett johanssons hair and so on.
>>70858747
>ever thought about what implications the polyjuice potion has?
I'm sure all the redditors have
>>70858738
Ohly Darkfyre (wildfyre? Something like that), not just fire.
>>70858747
>ever thought about what implications the polyjuice potion has?
Yes anon, I assure you we all have, many times, people can stop talking about fucking people using polyjuice now.
>>70855491
>use a ring as Horcrux
>wear it at all times on the finger
There, solved.
>>70853074
She's a good writer but not a perfect one. Another example I've heard mentioned before- she can't write romance at all.
>>70858886
>get killed
>person who killed you just destroys the rings on the spot
>>70858985
>good writer
are you 12?
>>70853188
>>kept trying to hold up the same tired "is snape a good guy or a bad guy?" shit for several books
this shit was insanely annoying. There's a point where you just stop giving a shit. After he killed Dumbledore that should've been it.
But no, she had to go back to him again.
>>70852678
>>70852727
>>70852766
>>70852867
>>70852981
>>70853114
>>70853226
>>70853312
holy shit I just died thanks /tv/
DONT DIE
>>70858675
>He doesn't know about Space Snakes
>>70858987
>get killed
>horcrux ring falls off
>he takes it
>doesn't carry it around until my followers track him down or the ring betrays him
>he just puts it in a concrete room and fiendfyres it
>this isn't like my English tolkiens
>>70858747
polyjuice was fucking broken as a spell
half the shenanigans harry pulls off are due to it. Its like some vidya game exploit no one else realized yet. Why didn't everyone use that shit?
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/nOTJdo8.jpg "maxresdefault[1]")
![51aFgUlgI1L._SL500_AA280_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kgD5rbf.jpg "51aFgUlgI1L. SL500 AA280 [1]")
