The Apprentice: Brett Edition
- Home
- Board: /tv/ - Television & Film
- Reading: The Apprentice: Brett Edition
Apprentice thread
Can we keep it to one this time?
News:
Scott has walked
Selina has underwear
>>63255994
She also got raped
>>63255895
this fucking autist man
>>63256152
old news
Shame Nuts and Zoo closed down, could have fapped over her shoots
>>63255994
>Scott has walked
Can't say I'm surprised. The way he blanked that poofter private tutor when he was fired, you could just tell he had had enough of it all.
>>63255994
that could use some more photoshop
>>63255994
Would
Nice legs though
>>63256288
>>63255994
good set of tits too
i hope you have your tv licenses ready lads
p.s. what the fuck is Cuffs
IT'S HAPPENING!
>Switch on the the beeb
>Immediately black bloke on telly
>Then someone who's apparently a homo
It's ridiculous really
Fucking London centric shite
Richardwinslol
I like sprouts
Alcohol lads
Tsingtao for me
>>63256378
final will be bare knuckle boxing between Richard and Brett
Brett flawless victory
doctor hype desu lads
>>63256360
That black guy is off so solid crew
>>63255895
ONE PUNCH!!
>>63256408
Shit mini cabbages 2bh
>>63256408
>not being cosy with a cuppa
Missed a week, what happened?
>>63256423
HE RO
>>63256413
21 SECONDS TO GO!
>>63256378
no its Vana
Richard goes just before interviews
Joesph v Vana final
I wonder if that's just a plane Sugar rented for the day
>>63256462
I'd totally bang Vana, desu
>>63256445
battyboy got sent home for not knowing how to use a calculator
>>63256360
You aren't allowed to have a straight white male protagonist on the bbc anymore
Straight is fine if they are black
White is fine if they are gay
>>63256467
Likely, most people rent them now rather than own
/pam/
>>63256476
Everybody would
poor david, he was a qt
>>63256485
would bang
Jenny best waifu though
Post vana
>>63256462
I'll be pissed off if a yank wins
Hope it's based plumber man
>>63256479
People recommended "London Spy" to me and that was absolute bollocks with fucking homos all over the place
APPRENTICE THREAD ONLINE
SNACK OF THE EVENING: CRISPS
>this painfully scripted gimmick of them answering the door in their PJs and acting surprised when Lord Sugar sends them a task
>>63256511
Got myself a pack of those double stuffed Oreos. But finished them before it started.
Why does nobody ever tell Sugar to fuck off for being a right dickhead?
>>63256342
bit of alright imo
is he going to make them absail down the tower
that cute pyjama set selina was wearing hnnnng
>>63256509
BBC, ITV and C4 all wants minorities to be 20+% in all shows, regardless of context
Despite uk being 90% white
Can't stand Charlene
>>63256537
physical contest, easy win for brett
Why doesn't Suggs need a hard hat and a twatvest?
>>63256341
>tfw watching on my big tv in the living room with no licence
The priciest product of them all: plutonium.
>>63256522
With cameras all over the place
>>63256552
Dunno like, I've grown to quite like her
Would probably shag her if I'm honest
Have a thing for dodgy accents
>>63256522
>this professional process needs a "20 MINUTES TO GET READY" rule like fucking school residentials
what keeps you from commiting suicide lads?
>>63256555
he's an A B S O L U T E M A D M A N
>>63256552
This
Especially after her tirade last week she's pissing me off even more now.
>Selling property in London
So how many arabs and chinese will be on this task?
>all this team swapping
>the task where they contribute to London's housing crisis :)
>estate agent task
>>63256563
sending a screencap of this post to the scotland yard
Marry, Shag, Kill
Selina, Vana, Charlene
Go lads
>those two blonde bints on one team
RIP team
>>63256580
Quite happy with life if I'm honest, even if I've not GF
nah nah let me tell you a bit about business, this is abat business init and in business ya gotta smell what sells, thats wat i done back when a was only 17. I'd smell what sells and make money doin business am not sure what you were actually doing on your task maybe trying to *looks at paper and reads pun* but it definitely wasnt business.
>>63256579
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ss-59fi4nM
>estate agent to fund studies
What a fanny
>Richard PM
That team wins
>>63256607
kil selena, shag charlene, marry vana
>>63256634
This
>Selena and Charline on the same team
Vana Wins Lol
>>63256607
Shag Selina, marry Charlene, kill Vana
She's a yank anyway, nobody will miss her
>>63256624
Is he the least cool man in the world?
>>63256607
Marry Selina, Shag Van, Kill charlene, pretty easy really
>>63256608
Maybe this is the task they finally push each other.
>>63256624
Student grants not exist then?
>affordable flats
>in london
>>63256607
shag selina mary vana kill charlene
>Joseph the plumber selling the high-end flats
With that fucking accent no less. Just fucking end the task already.
>>63256607
marry charlene
shag vana
kill selena
good question m8
missed it, whats this weeks task?
>>63256624
Surprised his mummy and daddy didn't foot the bill. Seems that type.
>>63256607
Marry Vana, Shag Selina, Kill Charlene
SCOTT ALREADY SALTY
Need a piss and a packet of crisps, don't let anything happen without me lads
Scott's such a fucking baby
>>63256655
>Student grants
>grant
This isn't Wales or Scotland.
>>63256607
None of them desu
If I had to choose
Marry: Vana
Shag: Charlene
Bin: Selina
>>63256677
Selling flats
In London
they had the safety gear in case scott jumps off the tower
Scott is such a bitter cunt. He's actually decent at business but he's basically a male Selena.
These teams are so uneven it's unreal. Richard, Brett, Vana and Scott are all high-tier.
Gary is the only person on the other team who isn't a fucking moron.
>>63256693
lmao
good luck
>>63256677
Real Estate
Vana's already claimed this.
>inb4 bait and switch
>>63256708
Joe is great
>Richard and Vana working together again
Vana slave when
>>63256708
Joseph is GOAT m8
>>63256341
I don't know but it has that hot half-Japanese bitch doesn't it.
>>63256708
They actually spoiled this episode's end in the previews a while back. Joseph's side loses and he has a proper go at Selina in the cafe
Stratford is still a shithole.
Richard and Vana win this, it's obvious.
>they're trying to sell flats in London
They're gonna love when every fucking customer is a property developer, an Arab looking for a big safe or a 'buy to let' fuck.
>>63256708
Gary is fairly shit tbf
>>63256726
He's a plumber. He's a nice guy but he's way, way out of his depth. There's no fucking way he can sell million-pound penthouses.
>>63256579
I think that's a big meme. There's no way that entire house gets ready in just 20 minutes, including showering, make-up, ironing, getting dressed, having something to eat, especially if there are only limited bathrooms/kitchens to use between all of them.
I think it's a gimmick to make it appear more hectic and strict or something.
FFS when will these idiots learn that you have to nosh off the inventor/ creator if you want to sell their product
Why are non brits allowed on this show?
Explaining to an architect about commission
>>63256731
>>63256726
joseph looks like a wizard
>Brett and Scott working together
Punch up, when?
>>63256726
>>63256731
Odds on Joe being called a 'jack the lad' or 'cheeky chappie' by Karen or Sugar at some point?
Joseph has sent the wrong people to the wrong place.
Schoolboy error.
That's a fucking studio flat?
>>63256768
London
Shitty tiny studio apartments in London are like £1200 a month
>>63256768
Its a cosmopolitan show
>>63256708
Gary's a fucking mong
>>63256726
>>63256731
Joseph has blagged his way through the process so far, the only thing he really stood out on was the manual labour one, when he already is a plumber
SHIT JOKE LOL
>>63256756
Yeah, although with Sugar's "OI M8 ITS BIDNESS ITS PROPA SERIOUS M8 NO FUN ALLOWED (EXCEPT FOR ME)" attitude he's probably serious.
Lewisham. What a fucking shithole, and they're charging 350k for a flat there.
>not being from based BROMLEY
Smh
£320k for THAT?
Fuck London entirely
>1st potential customer
>Chinese
Surprise.
My house cost less than half £320k lmao
>>63256754
>>63256801
Yes he's a mong but his project management has been on point. When it comes to actually getting down to business, he's competent.
>Scott
Is this the episode he goes mad and walks out then?
>Scott
Don't fuck this up for richard
Scott is drowning and it's glorious.
Scott has given up desu
>cheapest flat
>£350,000
Thank fuck I'm never even planning on working in London.
>>63256809
Joseph is literally what Sugar loves though.
>>63256820
Bromley is just as expensive
>>63256837
this is london
>>63256756
i read somewhere they have about an hour, its all for the cameras.
didn't know about scott walking out, cheers for the spoiler lads
>Joseph getting turned inside out by the developer
cringe
>>63256882
And about 100x less likely to be stabbed
>>63256838
Because he has REAL work experience rather than the useless piece of paper these arrogant students have
>Promise you, don't try
FUCKING MURDERED
How the FUCK is Scott still here?
Literally a mong
All white final incoming
Londoner here. I've given up the dream of ever affording a flat to rent here. Manchester seems SO much cheaper.
Question is, what's Manchester like?
>>63256837
>being poor
why would you walk out after all those tasks
>>63256912
>arrogant student poster
alrigh la'
>>63256920
>Question is, what's Manchester like?
A shithole
Would bang Varna
>>63256920
Shithole
But better than London, less cunts
>>63256916
mostly luck of being on good teams
Is there any occupation that doesn't involve murder more evil than being a property tycoon?
Need more Vana
I'd go Clapham. Canary Wharf is a soulless fucking shithole. Clapham is miles better.
Joseph is such a dire negotiator
>Actual business task
>Everyone is choking bar Richard, Brett and Vana
Gee I wonder who's going to the final.
>>63256920
>what's Manchester like
>Iranian man who demanded police deport him because he is 'fed up' of life in Manchester said its people are 'rude' and 'violent'
>>63256920
Very like London demographics, but without the culture, infrastructure, employment opportunities, places to go, things to do or tourism.
Also the manc accent is horrendous
Bring back Jedi Jim
do we know if Claude is still doing the interviews? Though i suppose he's less scary now they see him every week
>>63256932
>Brett literally batters him half to death in front of Karen
>Scott brings it up in the board room
>Karen: "It didn't happen Scott. Stop lying; this behavior is not acceptable."
>>63256947
Same
>>63256954
A London-based property tycoon.
>>63256914
>Hahaha, they actually didn't try! Soft cunts!
>Maybe I should tell this blonde piece to get her knickers off...
>>63256954
oil, arms, pharma
>>63256920
its tolerable, less traffic.
move out into the stick la
Working class btfo
>>63256867
Lived there for a year for my uni placement, thought I had it made when my work paid for my accommodation but a shitty 1 bedroom flat above a family of pakis made me hate every minute of it.
>>63256968
there is fuck all to do in london unless you go to clubs
>Vana going full semen demon
HNNNNNNGGHHHH
North East is the best part of England 2bh
>canary wharf
fucking disgusting
im sure i seen that american chick in those "marks head bobbers and hand jobbers" videos
>>63256920
I went up there for the weekend a while ago and managed to get a one night stand with some sort, so I rate it pretty highly.
>>63256970
Scott stop posting
I NEED Vana's thick lips around my hard cock
The guy is a PLUMBER and speaks like he has a mouth full of marbles (and half a tin of Carling).
His arrogance in thinking he's up to the task of selling these high end flats has lost him the task.
Need some Richard x Vana fan fic desu lads
>HI ANTHONY...oh sorry, is that Anthony?
B A S E D
R I C H A R D
>>63256998
>there is fuck all to do in london
That just isn't true at all.
>not a single white customer
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>63256970
I didn't believe everyone when they were speculating last week but I'm starting to think it's actually true
>>63257013
Feel the same about Charlene 2bh
Don't even know why
OK Charlene calm down
fucking hell just buying a flat like that
Fuckin hell how much money do these people have?
>tfw forever a poorfag
Wales BTFO.
>sells one flat
>acts like she won the show
>>63257016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQAjGmPtlN0
Joe's team are actually going to fluke this aren't they.
D I V E R S E
Fucking pakis everywhere
London is a fucking hellhole
>>63257062
>You could buy a street in Wales for that money
>>63257047
>>63257051
It was confirmed in S6 that none of the deals are real or have to be followed through on.
>>63257036
>>63257051
They're all incredibly rich foreigners who buy this shit to let to people unfortunate enough to be born here.
I don't blame them, nobody's stopping it.
Richard and Vana need nerfed
>>63257047
On a Credit Card
Just how important is your job that you are willing to spend so much on a shitty flat. I just don't get it.
Selena literally gangraped by 3 sandniggers. Absolutely disgusting.
THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE SAID CHARLENE YOU UNBELIEVABLE CUNT!
charlene is actually retarded
Charlene's a fucking qt
Am I going insane
Fuck I hate Selina, what a disgusting slag
>>63257042
I'd rather just slip her a couple of digits and listen to her breathy sighs as she reaches a climax by my hand
>>63257072
Of course.
He'll win by like a fiver
CAT FIGHT
>>63256960
Plus they had to walk through a freaking building site to get to the shitty little show flat, the Clapham one looked finished.
>>63257086
That entirely depends on the task, this one is legit
Pakis will buy an empty tuna can in london in their endless cash-buying conquest. Nothing to brag about just yet.
Charliene is a retard but Selina's just a complete cunt.
Selina is such a ratty little cunt. Still want to spaff in her arsehole though tbÍœh.
>>63257016
Tbf Charlene and Gary aren't much of an improvement
charlene is literally insane, she has problems and seems dangerous
>selling high end property
>in Clapham
HAHAHA
DESIGNATED
>>63257117
It's that accent I think
I'm northern though, I like weird accents on hirls, find it really cute
I'd love an Irish or Welsh gf
What's the the percentage of the total cost for a downpayment usually? 10%? 5%? Wondering how much that guy just dropped.
>>63257113
shes shrill and annoying and fucking mental
>sun come in day and night
mate
>in the million pound range
Do you have much knowledge in Clapham?
Very heavily populated by everyone
This guy is a retard
HIGHLY POPULATED BY EVERYBODY PATEL
>>63257141
SHITTING
>>63257144
These sort of people buy up front and then never live there
>>63257144
Only 5% with Help to Buy
>Asians buying from blacks
Nope
How the fuck can all these pakis afford these places? They're either cab drivers or work in a shop.
Has Scott ever done a good pitch?
Fucking awful
>>63257139
How's that rock, anon? The iPlayer stream good in there?
MORE
NON
WHITES
Also scott's an utterly useless twat
I didn't like Vana at first but she's grown on me. Probably because she isn't a massive cunt and has a shred of decency.
Is there anyone in this episode buying a flat who isn't a paki or a chink?
>>63257144
About 10% deposit in the UK
>sun during the night
>>63257173
Millionaire families who own tea plantations back in India
>>63257184
Agreed, I didn't think I would like her in the first couple episodes.
typical paki's looking to buy it and rent it out with a markup on their mortgage
literally the english jews
A WHITE PERSON
HOLY SHIT
>>63257173
To get out of India you need to sell your soul
I'd buy the home for £350K and a lick of Vana's pussy
>>63257196
Most properties aren't even bought by residents.
It's basically just an asset to gain revenue from.
There is literally fuck all in Stratford. It's like a wasteland with a Westfield shopping centre.
this woman is a bitch
>>63257202
>>63257167
So that guy just dropped somewhere in the region of 15-30k?
White person actually wants to ask questions, surprise surprise.
Gentle reminder that your favourite Apprentice bird has most likely pushed out a dirty steaming log today.
And if not, then she will have done it yesterday. And it fucking stank.
Would eat the biscuits tbf
Fucking love french fancies
>>63257228
>paki
>english
u wot m9
>>63257260
No, he'll pay it up front. Pakis don't have mortgages
>>63257173
richest person in the UK isn't white
>>63257173
They sold tea/steel to the British. Literally printing money.
>>63257252
The milf talking to Selina? She wasn't a bitch at all. She was an ACTUAL strong independent woman. She had the right questions, took no bullshit and called Selina out on not knowing her shit.
Also she would get it.
>>63257251
They build nothing but "luxury apartments" around there now.
>Some people like looking into Lewisham
I'd walk out there and then
Jesus christ
That woman's top
Absolutely indecent
>>63257267
I meant England's not english
>>63257164
FLAT
>>63257265
Leah wouldn't do that. You lie
SKEWAAAH
Selina is such a soulless bitch.
No wonder getting her tits out is all she's got going for her
Charlene is proper mental
>>63257278
Dangerously high levels of photoshop on that tummy and muffin top.
Stratford is still a shithole. Will always be a shithole.
Oh wait a shithole with a bunch of empty apartments because nobody wants to live in fucking stratford.
>>63257310
>tfw no mental welsh GF
>>63257288
>that low cut top
It's almost like she knew she was going to be on TV, dirty milf
gary is ridiculously uncharismatic
>>63257260
it's a tv show, nothing is real. the guy probably is interested in buying a flat, and those flats probably are for sale, but no money changed hands between the contestants and any clients.
Vana is like one of those girls at work who are unremarkable but after a few months you would drag your balls across 100 foot of glass to sniff her seat.
Charlene is storming it
She is annoyingly correct most of the time.
where is the nicest cheapest place to live in london?
BTFO by Baroness Brady
Charlene really has a chip on her shoulder
such a shit task this one lids
>>63257319
Nobody can afford to live in fucking stratford.
>yfw most of London is deserted in 10 years because nobody can afford to live there
>>63257321
Welsh accent is so fucking hot
GAYS
OF COURSE THERE HAD TO BE GAYS
>Prosecco
Karren has been fucking great this season with the corrections
WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE MILF, ALEN SUGERS SIDECHICK
>>63257342
Edinburgh
>>63257331
they do actually sell things on the apprentice, do you think they are going to drop a fuckload of money on lunches or cheap appliances and not actually sell them?
>>63257342
>nice
You're looking at around £500,000 for a bedsit if you want that m8.
>he secures 3/4 million
>Selina bitching that he got an easy sell
>she'll survive because of that sale
CUNT
Selina just shits on everything haha ahw
>>63257342
Shared housing for students a 10 min train away.
>Scott actually doing something
Holy shit
>>63257355
Yeah, qts with accents are GOAT
>>63257383
>Edinburgh
>cheap
u havin a laff m8
I don't get how Scott's confidence has literally disappeared. He was really enthusiastic at first and now he seems dead inside.
I reckon he clashed a lot more with Brett in that earlier episodes than the cameras let on.
>>63257278
she would look better without the photoshop
Selina in a task where she has sold fuck all again
Jesus. I wish I had the money to just buy houses and shit like that.
>Well done JOSEPH
Charlene really is trying to twist the knife on Selina
just let it go
>>63257339
Yep. I get this feeling with most birds on the Apprentice every year
>>63257375
Karen something
>>63255895
>maine tower
>manhatten loft
Why the fuck are we so desperate to be America?
ENTER ARAB
>>63257399
The gay guy raped him
Brett threatened to beat the shit out of him
>>63257375
Karen Brady
Selina is such a fucking bitch holy shit
I don't know if she's an ice queen or just a turbocunt
>tfw you'll never be rich enough to pay thousands for a shit fucking party for your kids
>tfw you'll never be rich enough to buy a shit fucking flat for hundreds of thousands
Look at that these fucking pakis. So obviously born into crazy money.
>>63257385
>The show received criticism from viewers during series six after it was revealed that orders placed in the programme were not genuine.[181]
>Selina
What a binty cunt. What a cunty bin.
>>63257399
he was quiet, sugar told him to e more hungry for it, he came out of his shell then got put down and just gave up i think and hates this
That fucking lisp
>>63257436
its Karren
>>63257342
Nowhere within central London.
>Mong paki
That fucking overbite holy shit
>>63257438
tomorrow is another day mon frere
>Vana and Richard absolutely crushing it
Fucking epic
>Just sold a flat for £1.4 million
Jesus Christ
Fucking based richaed
>>63257442
Its thanks to guys like this that prossies cost so much in London
Varna has turned into 10/10 this week
Imagine being so absolutely wadded with oil money that you could afford any of these flats.
>takes off shirt
>"HE'S FEELING THE HEAT LOL"
FUCK OFF YOU PAKI FUCK NOT EVERYONE WAS BORN IN A DESERT.
These Indian fellas know how to business, they even shook Richard's confidence
Who the fuck buys a flat without even seeing it or the floor plan?
>you will never have a sheer moment of celebratory ecstasy with vana where she throws her arms around you in delight
time to end it lads
If they sell a fucking house by going out on the street
>selling a flat for 1.5mil based off a crude drawing
What the fuck
>Pakis with RR's and buying £1.4m Apartments with their parents money
HOW THE FUCK DOES RICHARD GET RESULTS
Also we might need a new thread
>my husband's going to kill meeee
She literally just bought a flat on a whim
Who the fuck has that kind of money
>selling flats on the street
Christ
QT
T
>>63257520
Because Richard is p based
>>63257506
They're not going to live there, just sell it on.
I get the feeling Richard's team are gonna lose this one. All these low quality sales by Charlene are making me nervous.
>>63257506
>>63257521
confirmed bullshit brava sugar
>>63257510
shes a horsed faced cunt
I''ve got the exact same suit as what that Joseph is wearing. Going to have to burn that now.
>>63257521
London cunts
Selina MUST go. She fucking must go.
>>63257506
none of these people want to live in the flats they are buying
they are literally buying a flat to rent it for extortionate prices, they probably dont even live in the area
>>63257498
He meant the heat of the moment, as in the pressure of the deal. Not literally the heat, you retard.
>>63257531
shes strangely attractive, got a bit of a kathryn hahn look about her
>>63257536
No, Richard and Vana will clean up on the high end shit
I can't believe Selina has made it this far. And I know she won't go because Scott has literally given up on life.
>>63257444
That's only the tasks where they're selling stuff like the children's books in this series
Scott goes
>>63257563
nervous, desu
Want Selina or Charlene to go
>sold a flat to people they met on the street and told they have 30 seconds to seal the deal
1980s used car salesmantier
>>63257553
She's fucking out if they lose
Utter cunt
New thread?
>cold selling houses in london
>>63257556I know, I just have an irrational hatred of cunts who find taking a blazer off to be something taboo/strange
>tfw no insecure paranoid selina gf
>>63257571
>I can't believe Selina has made it this far.
I reckon Sugar keeps in a couple of cum muffins to make the show more visually appealing. No one wants a final few weeks stacked with fat uggos or pakis.
whats with sugars entrance music? its all getting a bit american
>>63257585
Charlene did really well, no way she is going.
100% has to be Selina or the black guy.
>>63257592
no fuck off its nearly finished
>>63257597
didnt something happen to here in UAE?
any details??
SOUR TASTE IN THE CUSTOMER'S EYE
>>63257604
The end is never stacked with pakis tbf, Sugar hates them
Cheeky that from Alan
>that terrible forced laughter
Dick and Slave dream team
>>63257617
>inb4 Sugar pulls some shit out of his ass and fires her
Don't overestimate Sugar's idiocy.
>Canary Wolf
Lads, I am absolutely pissing my pants for the interview round.
Who's gonna get their shit pushed in the deepest?
>>63257634
Well cheers you cunt there's now 2 active threads
Selina is gone.
Scott on suicide watch
SCOTT IS OUT SENPAI
>we don't see the nigger race walk-out this episode
awh
SCOTT CANT HANDLE THE BANTZ!
By Scott, you were shit anyway. Didnt like being told he was crap, probably bullshits his way out of his fuck ups at his day job.
