This thread is for any trips to the theater which were out of the ordinary. I'll start with one I had recently.
>go to local cinema to watch Angry Bird
>step inside the lobby as the smell of burning hair and meat hits my nostrils
>usher takes out a knife and slices open my palm after I buy my ticket
>another employee leads me to my seat as I try to keep the blood from spilling everywhere
>endless hallways, an empty seat appearing every minute or so
>it is getting darker and darker. the floor slopes downward. the employee is crying, silently
>"here's your seat, sir"
>I down sit quietly on my stool as she recedes into the inky black
>silence but for her diminishing sobs and maybe a faint drilling(?) through the wall
>ten minutes later another small woman walks into the room. she looks very sick
>she tells me that I'm in her seat
>I show her my ticket and bloody hand
>her face crumbles inward, becoming something pale and wormlike
>I run back through the hallway. going back the way I came yet it still slopes downward. farther down
>the drilling sound is growing louder
didn't even get a refund
>scary scene happens
>throw my popcorn
>my popcorn isn't popcorn it's maggots
>chains that end in hooks shoot from the floor and start ripping into my flesh
mfw I didn't know it was a no singles showing
>the first thing I noticed was the wind
>what started as a draft became gusts strong enough to knock a smaller man off his feet
>the corridor leading to my theater had the force of a wind tunnel
>it took all my strength just to pry open the theater door
>as soon as I squeezed myself inside I was immediately hurried into my seat by newcomers who bustled me on
>I located my designated seat, resembling a dentist's chair, which stood alone in the center of gated ring
>I deposited my ticket and was admitted me into the circle
>the house lights traced their way down balconies to my seat
>the shadow on the parapet leapt from his perch and creeped to the marble lecturne
>it spoke.
>it introduced me to the undulating audience who crowded around my ringed stage
>its voice was a multitude of tones, its pitch and cadence varied from syllable to syllable
>it sounded like everyone I ever knew at once
>the shadow fixed my gaze so that my eyelids could not close
>the projectors were lowered with the sound of a mechanical lurch and positioned so that they could be aimed directly at my sockets
>the projecters emitted concetrated visions which induced in me feelings beyond terror for which there exist no word on this earth
>the rest of the feature was screened on my sclera for the pleasure of the viewing audience
>>70883247
I have a rather similar moviegoing experience
>Accompanying my sister to Get Hard
>the glass doors leading into the cinema have been replaced with towering double doors the kind that belong on the entrance of a Gothic castle
>they're locked
>I try to alert the ticket-seller, but the booth is empty.
>*BOOM BOOM BOOM*
>My sister has taken the lion-shaped knocker and rapped on the heavy doors
>they open with a yawning creak
>something like the dusty recording of carnival music floats through the passage
>an ominous presentiment settles in my bones as I creep inside
>As I stand wondering at the pall of darkness shrouding the usually bright lobby the door closes behind us
>my sister takes off ahead unperturbed by the unnatural darkness
>I yell at her to wait but she disappears into the shade
>I hurry towards the only source of light in the entire building, the dull & sullen glow of the concessions area, devoid of any customers, in the hope of finding help
>I stammer an explaination to the lone employee manning the station in a vain attempt to elucidate the strangeness of my predicament
>he makes no movement, not even a twitch in his face.
>squinting through the darkness I realize he's only a cardboard cut-out of a theater employee
>startled, I take a step back & stumble over something
>Where moments ago there was nothing now a line of cardboard customers stand behind me wearing impatient scowls
>they've formed a queue that stretches so long I can't see the end of it
>panic swells inside me and I take off in the direction my sister rushed
>a light at the end of a corridor
>I run for a what must have been at least 2 miles, you say it is impossible but I know it is true.
>I make out the dim glow of an EXIT sign
>I rush through the doors to see my sister waiting & I spring to lift her off her feet in inexpressible relief
>My hands rush through air where her back should be
I still have her here in my room. The cardboard cut-out of my little sister.
>>70883247
Thank you op
>taking my lil bro to see Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Roadchip
>the ticket taker points us in the direction of the long hall
>our showing was in theater #9 the last door at the end of the corridor
>the first sign something was amiss was the strange light that floated out like a vapor from the crack at the bottom of the door
>the second was the strange sensation of penetrating an invisible film that hung in the doorway
>instead of a dark theater we found ourselves under the sky, outside standing on a country road
>on a wooden sign in the shape of an arrow was written "#9 this way" and pointed down the road
>the door we came in from was gone & only endless road streched behind us
>we figured it prudent to follow the sign & reach theater 9
>the trees lining this road were unlike any I had seen before. The color of the leaves was always in flux and they seemed to crawl from branch to branch and from tree to tree
>despite this constant motion the air was deadly still and the sun that hung in the air gave off no light, as could properly be called, but only a dull glow. As if its rays were polarized
>The sun itself was black as if its central fire were extinguished.
>A rider galloped past us wearing clothes that belonged to a bygone century
>How much time had passed on the road for us was impossible to tell. The sun did not move across the sky.
>We had long ago exhausted our popcorn and refreshment
>after a while my brother's crying was replaced by a catatonic silence
>The only sign of progress were the wooden posts that taunted us "#9 this way" "#9 ahead" etc...
>after what must have been several days we could see the end of the road.
>it ended at the foot of an enormous tower that stretched so high we couldn't see its top
>the base of the tower was circled by evenly spaced pits, whose bottom was impossible to see
>as I craned my head I was pushed from behind into the pit & I saw the rider peering down
>"That's number 9" was all I heard
>>70883869
This one.
This one is really good
There's only one cinema in my town it's very old and rather run-down, but they're still the only option.
>the concession area has had a rancid aroma for the last 8 years that nobody can find the source of
>there are holes in the wood paneling that reveal pulsating raw flesh underneath
>the ancient lamps overhead crane their necks to follow you down the hall as you walk by
>the posters on display are for movies that no longer exist
>the balconies are all fully occupied by marble statues
>there is intermittent weeping on the PA system
>Theater #1 has been boarded up for almost 20 years ever since an undisclosed incident (you can still hear labored breathing on the other side if you put your ear to the door)
>Theater #2 has a draft nobody can account for
>There is no theater #3
>Theater #4 rocks like a ship
>People have gotten lost in theater #5
>Theater #6 is infested with ravens
>We don't talk about theater #7
>Theater #8 is next to the heart and you can always hear the beating
>Old-timers say theater #9 is haunted
>and you can never get comfortable in the seats in theater #10
It has 3 stars on Yelp.
>go to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 6
>buy my canned ticket
>walk to concession stand and take off my 10 gallon hat
>hand it over to the popcorn madam
>"fill her up"
>she scoops it into the pile and hands it back
>"will that be all?"
>I order a cubic meter of crab fingers in a giant crystal martini glass
>walk over to the stub ripper
>I hand over my can but he hands it back and asks "what am I supposed to do with this?"
>I rifle through my pockets for a can opener but I left it at home
>all I have are my keys so I try to open the can with that
>I manage to pierce a hole but I drop my crab glass in the struggle
>glass and crab dance across the floor in slow motion
>my head is swimming and I tip backwards
>I let go of the can and it hangs in the air as time slows down
>just before I hit the floor I see the can has a built in tab to tear off
>I crash to the floor and grab madly for the can, and tear it open to reveal my ticket
>I show the ticket to the man who folds it into an origami frog, which hops off the ticket ripper's lectern in the direction of the showers
>I try to follow but my legs have turned into sheets of corrugated iron
>I open my mouth to scream, but light shoots out instead of sound
>I look around but my eyes have turned into wheels
>the wheels on the bus go round and round
>my thoughts turn into brightly coloured ribbons which fly out of my exhaust pipe, float through the air and wrap themselves around the mouths of PoC and suffocate them
The movie was average
Wew this thread is dead
One last bump for stories.
