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>walk into gas station
>see this cute cockatoo girl waving at you behind the counter
>wat do?
I'll wave hi at her and ask if she wants to go to lunch together for a coffee and some crackers.
>>3753692
That's racist
>>3753621
Easy, I greet her right back then ask for 20$ on pump 4 before purchasing a peach flavored snapple, possibly a beef jerky as well.
>>3753621
Pluck, dress, batter, deep fry.
>>3753621
Fluff, undress, flatter, deep fuck.
>>3754620
Please don't fuck my lunch.
>>3753621
Why is her hair / headfeathers a hand?
>>3753621
force her at gunpoint to spread her smelly cloaca in my face
SHEIT
>>3753621
>bird
>tits
No thanks.
She probably doesn't even have a cloaca.
>>3753621
Rob at gunpoint
you cant fuck a cloaca ya dingus
>>3755910
Ive seen plenty of videos that prove otherwise.
>>3756042
and where would those be
>>3754547
>>3754620
>>3754679
done and done
>>3753621
Never put my dick in her mouth because beaks are the worst thing in the world for blow jobs.
>>3756669
>thinking furries abide by real-life anatomy
Buy my items while imagining a life together with her.
Leave wishing I had the balls to say something that wasn't filler cashier-customer small talk.
>>3756935
how does one even flirt with a cashier?
birdgirl thread?
>>3758697
hey I heard you like to fondle money
how about you fondle my cock
>>3754932
Because she is waving at you, duh.
>>3753621
Ask for some thighs to go with those breasts.
>>3754547
>eating a cockatoo
What kind of 3rd world nigger are you?
Or are you a turkroach?
>>3753621
Be fucking glad that it's close by so I can come back here again.
And again.
And again.
At some point, I'm bound to be a "regular" and she'll know me okay.
We can go have some food on me and talk about whatever flights of fancy we've got in our heads for the moment.
>pic related: meanwhile, in my head
>>3756934
I actually like the idea of a wet sandpaper BJ
>>3753621
Try to have a threesome with her and Hoot.
>>3766165
Even if Hoot is an asshole, her bird is still pretty hot
>>3753621
>hop onto counter
>open trench coat
>masturbate in her face
>blow a load quickly, run off with the chocolate bar and mountain dew while she's still in shock
>>3768872
>bites your dick off with her beak
>>3753621
Who is this semen demon?
>>3753621
"S-So, you're name's Anna? That's cool, I don't meet a lot of people with that name"
>mfw
>>3771422
a burd
>>3771492
>proceeds to spill spaghetti all over the counter
>>3755207
... Wait, is it implied that she kept that blaster in her butt?
[spoiler]Does that make it a Butt-Blaster?[/spoiler]
>>3753621
>"Here's your receipt"
>"Y-you too"
>>3753621
Go about my business and try not to get her talking, in my experience, cockatoos are VERY VERY loud and screechy.
>>3773892
>embarrassed teen trying to buy something discreetly from the corner store
>SCRAAAAAAAW THAT'LL BE $3.99 FOR THE TROJAN TWO PACK SCRAAAAAW
>>3774044
Great now I have a boner for loud screeching cockatoo girl. Just imagining the ear-piercing orgasm is enough to annoy/arouse me.
Owning a cockatoo is like owning a 2 year old and and alien all in one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hto_uvmLq-8
>>3774454
that's pretty much every intelligent breed
>cockatoo's can live 70-100 years
Does that mean she can live 700-1000 years?
>>3775636
Did you cum inside?
>>3775655
[spoiler]yes[/spoiler]
>>3775636
You're fucking lucky, I barely dream at all anymore.
I want my furry dream sex dammit, and I want it now!
>>3775636
It's already too late anon
[spoiler]Join us[/spoiler]
>>3775636
You're not a furry unless you pretend to be a furry. As in, you pretend to be non-human in your fantasies.
male human on non-human female is the best, anyways.
>>3775747
>Zootopia
>>3775932
You don't have to have a fursona to be a furry.
Though the point when you become a furry is rather gray
>>3776086
Honestly, for me, the point where you do have a fursona is when you become a furry.
Until then, you're just a xenophile.
>>3776011
What about it?
>>3775636
>start to have a sex dream
>barely put it in
>wander off and go to work
>talk to my parents
>also now im star fox
My dreams never stay in a "scene" for more than a few minutes and watching TV and hearing stories about dreams with very long lasting "scenes" bothers me
>>3776343
>tfw dreamt about cuddling a qt girl
>lasted eight hours in dream, I could see a clock on the wall talking away
>neither of us said anything, we just enjoyed being next to each other
>no sex, just cuddling
>can't remember what she looked like
>all I can remember is a golden glow coming from her face, eyes as green as emeralds, and her hair was so red that it nearly looked like fire
I need a gf.
>>3753621
>give genuine smile and wave back
>think of something charming to say to such a cutie
>wait no, she's only being nice and courteous since its her job
>besides she's out of your league anyways and with that face, figure, and dispostion there's no way she's not taken
>slowly melt into existential crisis after picking up what I wanted and walking to the register
>keep my smile and approach with feigned chill
>buy my things, keep the talking short and wish her a good day
>get home and sit in the dark futilely fighting back self esteem issues
>>3776343
>had dream
>old house i used to live in, except on a river this time
>water underneath was cold and disgusting
>start to look around at the things I thought I knew but were really actually shitty
>look at the water at some point
>snakes
>had several of them as pets when I was a kid, thought it was rad
>they start flying at me
>shitshitshitshitshit
>snakes surround me
>jump into the water
>snakes again
>wake up
>realize that some of the things I thought I knew and didn't care about were actually some of my biggest problems
The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes. Only dream I've had that's made me think.
>"Hiya! Let me know if you need anything!"
>Oh my god, a crackhead
>Nobody else could possibly be this perky at three---
>Wait
>Look at her again
>Rub eyes
>Uh
>She's
>What
"You're a fucking bird"
>"I am!"
"No, you're---you're a bird. Like, is that a costume or---"
>"Nope! No costumes besides my uniform!"
>So either I just died by falling asleep at the wheel (likely) or I accidentally took a wrong turn somewhere around Kansas City and ended up in Oz or some shit
>Fuck road trips
"Uh, like, I---I'm not trying to be rude, but, uh, how the---I mean, uh, like, I'm lost."
>"Lost? What's there to be lost about?"
"You're a fucking talking six-foot bird, what isn't there to be lost about?"
>"Wait, don't you remember?"
>Cockatoo puts both hands on her beak
>"Oh no! You must have been driving on I70!"
"Uh, yeah. Why would---"
>"The wizard put a curse on everybody on I70! You must have been asleep for five months!"
"Five months? Wizard? What?"
>"Oh, a crazy wizard turned up and made the entire world weird. That's why I'm here! He created me!"
"He just---he just generated life, like, instantly?"
>"Yeah!"
"And he used it to make bird people?"
>"Yeah. He also made cat and fox and dragon people!"
"...Was this wizard a fucking furry?"
>"Yep!"
>Oh fuck, it actually happened
>Jesus Christ, my aunt Lindy was right all---
"Wait, six months? Holy shit, my entire family must think I'm dead!"
>"Oh. Oh no!"
>Bird girl's feathers stand straight up
>"Oh, you need to call them right away!"
"Yeah, hold on--"
>Pull out phone
>No service
>"Oh, wait, you were on I70. Your phone isn't fur-net capable."
"Fur-net capable?"
>"The wizard gave the world magical internet that provides fully working virtual reality, but you need to upgrade first!"
>Jesus Christ, this is retarded
>Why did the wizard have to be such a fucking fag?
>I mean, you're cool with the wifi and all, but fur-net
>What a fucking name
>>3781927
"Okay, so can I just borrow---WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHIRTLESS?"
>"I need to get you on the fur net, silly! This is the only---"
"No, FUCK that."
>Turn around
>Walk out door
>"Wait, mister!"
>Stomp on concrete through parking lot
>Enter car
>Turn it on
>Cockatoo ruins escape at last moment by plastering her face on my window
>Briefly consider running her over
>Decide against it
>Roll down window
>"Mister, why are you leaving?"
"Because! A fucking wizard turned the world into a shitty furry porn comic, I'm going to go and hang myself before a dragon turns me into a giant penis or I have to hear JasonAfex dialogue or my girlfriend gets fucked by a well-drawn dog with the personality of moldy gorgonzola. Good day."
>Start to close window
>Cockatoo holds it down
>Jesus, she must be strong
>"Mister, I know it's weird, but it's alright! The world's actually really cool now. The wizard invented cold fusion too, so pollution doesn't need to exist, and he also made peace in the middle east!"
"How'd he do that?"
>"Turned everybody in ISIS into gay foxes."
>Slowly start rolling out of driveway
>"Mister, please wait! I know it's overwhelming, but I can help you!"
"No, fuck this. I like my world boring and violent, thank you very much. None of this fur-comic shit."
Okay fuck this I thought the concept might be funny but it's terrible
>>3775636
you're a lucky guy. I had a similar dream a while back except I was being lovingly fucked by an anthro crow guy
I miss him
>>3782062
You're not doing a bad job mate. I laughed.
I was thinking about writing for this thread earlier, but I think you win.
>>3782317
Go ahead and write, I'm going to sleep
>>3782317
DO IT ANYWAY
buy snacks and leave because I'm socially retarded
>>3767354
Is she an asshole? I've never heard this before.
>>3783114
I hope it does not die. I'm waiting on this shit so hard.
>>3783114
Shit. Im going to Virginia for 2 days to visit my aunt. The thread will be dead by then. Can someone keep this thread up for 2 days? Damn, I never can find bird green. :^(
>>3783114
Timeout is usually 3-5 hours depending on overall activity and as long as a fetish thread isn't absolute garbage somebody will probably intermittently bump
>>3753621
>smile and wave back
>her boyfriend walks up from behind me and she excitedly starts talking to him
>run out of gas on the way to rofo because I couldn't face her to put money on the pump
>>3783291
If the thread does die before you get back you can still see what went on here
http://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/3753621/
>>3783451
PRAISE THE HELPFUL ANON!
HEY!
PRAISE THE HELPFUL ANON!
HEY! HEY!
ANON IS REAL HELPFUL SO WE SHOULD PRAISE ANON!
HEY!
>Walk up to counter.
>"Hi! How may I help you?"
>Pull out gun.
"You can start by giving me all the money in the register."
>She freezes for some time.
>I'm obviously her first stick up.
>Don't I feel special.
>Motion gun towards the register.
"Just hand over the money and no one gets hurt."
>She gulps.
>"It... it doesn't... I can't... you... you.. youhavetomakeapurchasesir."
>Barely caught what she said.
"Alright fine, I'll, uh... have some beef jerky."
>"I-I-I I'm sorry, s-sir, wuh... wuh.. we're all out of-"
"You can cut all this customer-service 'sir' crap out."
>She starts to tear up.
>Girl's cute so I kinda feel bad.
>Kinda.
>Genuinely hungry.
>Want that jerky to snack on as I make my getaway.
"Do you have any in the back?"
>"I m-m-m-might, I can ch... I can ch... I can che..."
"Please, do."
>She turns around.
>Walks out from counter.
>I suddenly remember the gun in my hand.
"Forget it, just get back here!"
>She screams and rushes back.
>I forgot for a second what I came here for.
>Shopping, am I right guys?
>Can't decide what to steal.
>Decide to pick whatever item I see next.
"Give me a pack of camels."
>I don't even smoke.
>She's sniffling loudly at this point, her eyes red and shiny with tears.
>She reaches towards the shelf, stops half-way and just looks at me.
>She's unable to say anything at this point.
"Any pack, it doesn't matter!"
>She rings it up, register opens.
>Quickly pocket money.
"Thanks, toots."
>That did not sound as cool as it did in my head.
>Dash to car, speed out of parking lot.
>Watch the store shrink in my rearview.
>Put cigarette in mouth.
>Realize I have no lighter.
>Stomach growls.
>Only robbery where I ever had buyer's remorse.
Bumping because I have content coming up.
>Don't you dare look to your left.
>Yes, you, don't fuckin do it.
>No, it doesn't matter that you can feel two searing beads in your cheeks, just DO NOT LOOK THAT WAY.
You peruse the myriad candies in front of you once more.
Starburst looks pretty good- no, she's probably into those and might start a conversation over them. Don't look left.
Maybe a Milky- ach, white! Like her feathers. Do not look to your left.
Spree? Too cheerful looking, like her smile. Do NOT look to your left.
You glance at a box of Gobstoppers, and realize that the coloful jawbreakers have been replaced with glistening black beads. You gulp. Do not look to your left.
You turn to your right and walk slowly to the sodas, trying to ignore the reflection of the glass. Do not look behind you.
Thankfully, you're able to come to a decision quickly. A Coke. Basic, tasty, and- god damnit, no.
Hey! You almost looked behind you putting that back!
You grab a Sprite instead, since the very thought of it brings you off of her DO NOT LOOK BEHIND YOU.
Fuck it.
You look behind you, and you feel a white feather tickle your nose.
"Can I help you?"
>>3785644
You nearly became one with the fridge behind you, and was pretty sure you heard a few bottles fall out from the back.
She jumps back a bit herself, black beads fully exposed and a little gasp puffing out her chest.
You both stand there for a while, the pale fluorescent light throwing shadows through her fluffy bust. You notice your back is now very cold, and cautiously lean forward, at which point she plants her face firmly in her hands.
"Aww, gee, I'm so sorry! You just looked so indecisive and I thought you would want some help-"
You hold a hand out to stop her, admittedly, somewhat adorable diatribe. She complies.
"It's... okay."
She stares for a moment.
"I forgive you."
She nods, swiftly turning around and beginning to walk back to her register.
You get the feeling something slimy and noodly is writhing in your pockets, a slick mass holding your feet to the floor. And your eyes... glued to somewhere they REALLY SHOULDN'T BE YOU FUCKIN STOP THAT.
>>3785655
You glance down at your Sprite. It's a little fizzy from the sudden jarring it got but it should be salvageable. Good enough. Your gaze does not leave it as you traverse the well-aligned alleys of calories, and ESPECIALLY not when you place it down on the calendar and reach for your wallet.
As soon as you pull it out-
"Throbbing Gristle? Ooh, I love them!"
Your head whips up so fast you thought you heard your hair crack. Indeed, those were the same painfully innocent eyes that had met yours at the back of the store.
There's a writhing mass in your crotch. You choose to file that with the writhing masses in your pockets.
"I wasn't old enough to catch them live ever but I own all their albums... It's a shame nobody else round here seems to know about them. Except you!" She gives an earnest grin (despite the fact that with her anatomy that seemed an impossibility) and hands you your bottle in a bag. "That'll be $4.93."
Without thinking, you hand her the $5, and she seems to have it in the register within one smooth motion.
>>3753621
Wonder what the hell was in this Mexican Mocha energy coffee drink. Greet her. Then buy another.
>>3785695
That's probably all I've got for tonight, it's almost 5 am and I feel like utter shit and so is this story. Let me know if you want to see it continue.
>>3785763
If sleep can salvage this story, then by all means continue after some rest.
burd
This thread is getting dangerously autistic
>>3791865
I'm just here for bird tits.
>>3791865
>OP
>wat do?
What did you expect?
>>3783234
There were some drama-lamas, but people exaggerated how serious it was. Something about her and her boyfriend splitting up.
Either way, hate the artist if you want, not the art.
>>3794438
More like her breaking up multiple relationships, one with a married dude, and breaking up with her boyfriends 6 months after
>>3753621
Tell her she doesn't need to sell me anything, but she does need to eat this bowl of crackers.
>>3753621
Sauce on the image?
birbwritefag pls
>>3753621
>>walk into gas station
>>see this cute cockatoo girl waving at you behind the counter
>realize she's actually a cuckatoo
>fuck her boyfriend while she watches and shamefully masturbates
>also get a hoagie for $4.99 fuck yeah hogiefest
>>3798330
>realize she's actually a cuckatoo
kek
>>3772994
>ywn invite her over for a picnic.
>tfw forever gay luigi.
All I've got are gryphontits to bump the thread with. ;_;
>>3800822
>she invites you over for a picnic
>she didn't make lotsa spaghetti
>>3783420
Real life what are you doing here I came here to escape you
>>3773892
>>3774044
Turns out shes doesn't talk much and is also shy because she feels that her voice is too loud despite it being an ok volume.
>>3753621
Ahh, cockatoos. One of my favourite Australian birbs.
I'll drop off a bird. The avian thread is usually gay. Not against it, just not my thing so I'll post this here.
>>3803305
She looks pretty confident in herself.
my birb just died today so i guess ill bump this thread in tribute
>>3785763
You write well, nigga. Keep it up.
Don't want this to die
>>3753692
Sorry, coffee and white people
>>3754683
POTION SELLER
What exactly is this thread waiting for?
More awkward situations with a bird?
>>3813667
I wouldn't mind more awkward situations with a qt birb.
>>3813667
S/feather in all but name.
>>3753621
shreik in utter terror
>bird milk
>>3783243
>>3783291
Hello i am writefag
It's coming along, but the bad news is I'm probably not making this super lewd.
I'm not experienced enough with writing smut, and I know for a fact that shitty smut isn't normal smut but lesser, but it goes into the negatives in terms of effect.
So I'm trying to make a cute little thing with a birb. Pls forgive
>Be you
>Anon Y. Mous, the human.
>And she's staring at you again.
>The Cockatoo at the register has been shifting her eyes on and off of you for the last three minutes.
>You're on the other end of the station's mini-mart
>And the only person there at the moment.
>Didn't make things much easier, really.
>You didn't do well in social situations in general, she looks like she kinda wants to talk to you.
>Ruffled feathers, fluffed up plumage
>It's like she REALLY wants to make a good impression on you.
>You keep looking at your phone so it looks like you have a small shopping list while you mentally defuse your situation.
>Ever so often you glance upwards and see if she's still looking at you.
>She looks calm, and happy more than anything.
>Almost like she’d downed several redbulls, and then several calming teas.
>Her name tag is attached to her left side of her chest
>Speaking of her chest
>Her tits are enormous.
>The portion of her shirt holding them back looks like it's been reinforced
>And the haphazard stitching job looks like she's sewn that button back on a couple times.
>You figure she wears at least an E cup.
I don't have any nice bird pics, fuck
>>3822141
I got you.
>>3822141
>And as far as the rest of her goes, you can kind of make out her hips as she leans over the counter
>They sure as shit ain’t skinny from where you’re standing
>about 15 feet away
>As you take the sight of her in, you have a sharp realization
>You’re acting horribly autistic
>When she shifts her eyes to you, you snap back down to try and avoid eye contact.
>Maybe you should stop doing that.
>Gracing every bit of social anxiety you’ve got, you look up.
>She’s smiling to herself with one of her… fingers? In her mouth, as if she were biting a nail.
>She glances upwards, back down, registers that you’re looking straight at her, then snaps back up.
>Well, not really snaps, but lifts herself a bit higher off the counter
>she jiggles a bit
>Fuck
>You can make out her name tag now
>Anna
>huh
>Nice name really
>She’s giving you a really cute smile
>Her beak curves short and downwards, but you can tell she’s smiling at you
>She also waves
>>3822208
thank
>>3822245
I like this. Please continue. Also you're welcome.
>>3822245
>You haven’t said anything to this girl and she’s already overwhelming you
>She was sexy before, and now she threw in being adorable to go with it.
>Well
>sexy, as in she’s got a figure
>You’re a human
>She’s a bird
>You two could probably fuck, but couldn’t become an actual item
>As if you’d ever make it that far
>Holy shit stop being autistic and talk to her
>You grab the nearest bag of chips and walk over
>How could you start a conversation with someone like her?
“You’re awfully energetic for someone working the graveyard shift.”
>That works.
>Try to be likeable.
>”Oh, I’ve got my ways of keeping myself distracted enough.”
>You shoot a glance around the place, and out the window
“Really? Doesn’t seem like there’s much inside or out that interesting.”
>”It’s usually the people that make it fun. It’s nice to see who’s up and about at this time of night.”
>The gas station is an hour away from the nearest town, where you’re headed
>It’s a flat badlands as far as the eye can see
Still not sure if I'm able to make this into porn, probably going the cute way out
Sexy bird girl thread?
>>3822452
“Well, if it’s like that, I can only imagine the colorful folk around here.”
>”Oh, believe me. They’re a real group of cards.”
>She’s giving you that half-lidded smile
>Like she wants you to keep going?
>This is new
“I can see it now. Every once in awhile, a veteran trucker, meth dealer, salt farmer, and a priest get together to smoke and shoot the shit. The gas station equivalent to the Oscars.”
>That gets her laughing.
>Not like one of those weird, hard-to-describe chuckles girls tend to throw at you, but a genuine laugh that lasted for a couple of seconds.
>Her feathers get kinda ruffled
>It’s actually really cute
>She puts them back in their place as best she can, while still giggling as if she was trying to hide the fact that she was still kinda laughing.
>She collects herself to stammer out
>”PFFFFFT- Yeah…. Yeah.. just like that. Holy shit, I need some water.”
“See, someone like me, the common gas-and-chips customer would clear out to let them do whatever. It would be an honor to be graced by their all-powerful and totally-legal presence.”
>”I dunno. You might just fit in fine with those folks. Tell them tales of potato chip woe.”
>>3822496
And with that, I'm done for the night. I need sleep, but I'll probably have more if the thread survives.
Thanks 4 the input
>>3822504
G'night anon. I'm enjoying it, come back if you can!
>>3775636
>all my dreams are bizarre off the wall things or flesh horrors
>meanwhile anon is fucking dream bird girls RIGHT NOW
>>3782062
Screencap this entire thing
>>3822141
I'm imagining the bird in the OP
burd
Sketched out a wallpaper last night. If there's suggestions on any bird, including op pic, I'm up for it. Will come back to this pic later on.
>>3827026
you are my hero
>>3827026
How about Goldie Pheasant?
>>3827408
Hah. OP's pic was made by Wyntersun.
Thought it looked a little familiar.
>>3827026
That's some grade A++ right there
>>3827026
Your art looks... familiar.
>>3827026
Please do something cute with OP's bird
>>3803875
Shit man, i know that feel, mine died 2 months ago and i still get pretty sad sometimes
>>3827222
I didn't clean it up like the other but I'll get it there.
>>3830859
I'll put down some ideas and throw up what I like.
>>3830684
I get that a lot.
>>3831096
Cockatoo's live average 70-80 years give or take a decade
>>3832327
Looking sexy! Thanks a bunch!
>>3833215
>>3832327
And done. I like it but I'll leave it here. My /trash/ stuff stays in /trash/.
>>3833760
>BC
WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAAAAAN?
>>3833760
I know it's selfish to ask since you just drew something, but are you still interested in taking requests? It's alright if the answer is no, obviously
>>3833969
non-functioning machine part
or Broken-Cog on tumblr.
But I only post sfw stuff there and nsfw things here.
>>3834097
Sure, I'm just thinking of something for the OP pic. I tend to limit requests what's fun and quick to do since it's free. Excuse me if that sounds asshole-ish. If I don't get back for a long time it means I had to do an on-call job.
>>3834179
Could you do an owlgirl wearing an unbuttoned flannel?
>>3834179
If people are offended by you not drawing free art for them they aren't the sort of people that deserve free art in the first place.
but, in case you're interested: I'm not too good at explaining ideas but maybe you'd like to draw a zealous warrior bird with a spear? sort of like a combination of these two characters. taking some of the aspects from the right one (tall, proud, two wings on the back, avian claws for feet/legs, leaning more towards inhuman instead of anthro) as well as the left one (thick, huge tits).
it's certainly alright if not, it's just an idea I've been tossing around in my head for a while.
>>3834313
How's this?
>>3835045
neicu
>>3834415
Something like this? Yes, the breastplate does have a circle cut out specifically for the nipple.
>>3837054
yes. absolutely yes.
thank you thank you -thank you-.
(your WoW stuff is really nice too, by the way.)
>>3834179
Could you draw a purple martin girl in a partly unzipped hoodie, a baseball cap, thigh high stockings and boots, but no underwear, pants, or dress of any kind so she's just presenting her nethers to the world?
>>3776343
It's the same for me.
>Dreaming about an anime girl that looked like Kagura from Azumanga Daioh tackling me onto her bed from behind
>She was only wearing a pair of blue jeans, I could feel the warmth of her boobs pressing onto my back
>Switch to fighting zombies a minute later
I fucking hate my subconscious sometimes.
>>3837098
Here's a quick lined version.
>>3837500
Okay
>>3837856
i know just saying thank you doesn't mean a whole lot in comparison to the effort you put in, but.. really. thank you. this is way more than I ever expected and it's absolutely wonderful.
>>3837500
Here you go.
>>3838081
>>3838227
Thank you. I do my best to make a few people happy whichever thread I think would be fun. Also because I see few bird pics out there that aren't weird.
>>3838674
Tasty.
>>3838704
I might as well. It made me want to watch Don Bluth stuff again.
I guess we're dead now. Here's Anna to help.
>>3758697
"Hey babe, how about I ask you out if you check me out."
>>3753621
Is she a gold oc of any kind. Because she's a waifu.
I might try writing for this too
But should it be cute or dark? Like rape
>>3841271
cute!
>>3841271
cuuuuute
>>3841271
Dark
As in the power goes out and she fumbles, falling on top of you cutely
>>3841271
cuddles. with shocked anon
>>3840009
cute
CUTE
>>3838674
Noice! If you're still around, I'd love to see some busty falcon girls from you.
>>3844024
I want to see her lay her eggs.
>>3846317
Who doesn't?
The best thing about her is that you can't see cum on that white. At least immediately.
>>3846502
>not wanting to see a pretty birdie's feathers splattered with your seed
What's wrong with your brain?
>>3838674
If you're still up for it.
Corvid teasing a raptor.
Gotta love those big fat areolas
>>3847209
This is starting to approach PK's level of artistic insanity.
>>3847270
Context?
BIG
BIRB
BREASTS
Reminder that birds are dinosaurs but very small and cover with feathers. When you put it that way, who wouldn't want to make love to one!
Choices...
>>3854197
Well, subject one will grow INTO subject two.
So you'd get to be there for the entire thing, watching her quickly outgrow all of her clothes.
>>3753621
I would turn my head away trying to avoid staring at her as I rack my brain why someone would wear such a thing at work. I would steal glace after glace at her until I figured out she was a real bird.
>Wutface.Twitch
"This can't be real" I would think to myself.
Knowing that she's a real bird would cause my pants to tighten as I try to remember why I came into the store.
When I walks out of the store I'd stare into her eyes, notice her happy expression as my cheeks begin too feel warm as an awkward smile forms on my face. I'd bring my hand up over my face as I walked out of the store.
I come back in trying not to let her see e blush. then I finally see her bust and my cock jumps to full mast.
She caws at me then giggles to herself ."The first symptom of bird flu is sexual attraction to birds" She joked followed by a giggle.
Now fully embarrassed I'd try to come up with an excuse instead just tripping on my words stuttering until I just cover my mouth and blush again.
She's excited to see someone to flustered by her, the cute bird girl would eagerly rush over poking and prodding my now aching member.
"Anything I can help you with are do I gotta call animal control on this python?" She giggles more then stands up waving at me excitedly.
I have no words instead I just point to a random object in the aisle we were in.... it was adult diapers... Before I can do anything her jaw drops; with her had on her cheek in dramatic fashion.
"First birds now diapers? you're a kinky fucker aren't you?"
I stumbles on my words unable to defend myself I just hang my head in shame.
Bleh....
>>3856228
Yeah sorry :c
>>3854197
>subject one will grow into subject two
that'smyfetish.gif
>>3753621
Fall in love
>>3856748
if we're talking about a truly -lifetime- suppy of milk all in one chest at once, they'd need to be orders of magnitude bigger than she is.. Not that that's bad, mind.
>>3848239
who drew this?
>>3857851
Looks like Guoh.
>>3846638
Thinking something like this, it being summer and all.
>>3858041
thanks, gunna look through his works to see if I can find a description.
>>3856440
>The two bottom snowballs of each snowman are eyes
>The crease in the snowy part is the mouth
>Creates some sort of ice/grass combo pokemon
>>3847065
“They’re stale. Just like the rest of the ten square miles this station’s the center of. Woe is the gas station customer that is me.”
>another laugh. Less intense, but still.
“As soon as my disappointment fades, I move outwards towards the town.”
>”Oh, are you actually heading there? I could give you a lift!”
>Oh.
“I’m actually meeting a friend there, and I have to find a place to stay. Not exactly google-friendly, this place. Besides, you’d probably drop me halfway there.”
>Sarcasm deployed
>”Bird jokes. Nice.”
>Shit.
>”And come on, I’ve got SOME decency. I’d drop you three quarters of the way there, just to make you suffer.”
>Ouch.
>Anna’s got burns.
“Funny definition of decency you got there.”
>”I do what I can.”
>”And if you need a place to stay...”
>”I think… y’know if you wanted to, you could stay at my place…?”
>OH.
>She actually phrased that sentence strangely
>Sounded like a halfway offer, halfway request
>And those are halfway more than you’ve ever really been offered by someone with her assets
This may be the longest-living thread I've seen on /trash/
>>3847065
Sorry bout that
>>3861063
>have to work third shift Monday morning
>staying up to offset sleep
Keep them coming while I draw more birds for the thread to stay awake.
>>3861063
“That’d...actually be perfect. Thanks… Anna.”
>And with that, she beams.
>If looks could hug
>You give that half-second glance to her chest to pretend you haven’t been sneaking peaks between sentences.
>Did she notice?
>”No problem, slick.”
>Yup.
>”My car’s out back! Come on!”
“Don’t you need somebody to watch the register?”
>”The next shift will be here soon anyways. C’mon!”
“What about my car?”
>”Put it in the back, and I’ll drive you back here when you find a place. You won’t need it too much anyways.”
>Huh.
“What if within the next several days, you learn to hate me and refuse to drive me anywhere?”
>”Then the highway patrol gets to scrape you off the pavement.”
>Jesus.
>You know she didn’t mean it, but you don’t even know if she can actually fly.
>It’d be cool to see it
>She’d probably look amazing in one of those skin-tight pilot uniforms
>Do they wear those even?
>You don’t bother to try and remember, but the image does make your pants a bit tighter
>>3861334
Good luck. Have fun with birb
>writefag is back
>>3861422
>After a few minutes of her gathering her stuff you head out in her car.
>She’s pretty giddy for the whole ordeal, and you can’t figure out for the life of you why that is.
>How’s this playing out in her mind?
>She’s (technically) taking a guy back to her place where he’d agree to spend at least a night.
>Does that equate to her happy for the fact that she got you?
>Or is it actually /you/ making her this excited?
>You really couldn’t think of much you had going for you
>Average build, mediocre sense in clothing, nothing that sets you out in a crowd.
>You liked to think you had good taste in music
>Your sense of humor was kick-ass
>And it looked like she appreciated it back in there
>But most of your free time is spent dicking around online
>Not really a hobby, by most people’s standards
>But for the first ten minutes of that car ride, at around 3:45 in the morning
>Her eyes were glued to you, sending glances your way every other Second
>Way more overwhelming the minute breaks she gave you earlier
>There was the minimal worry of her crashing the car, but you were seriously more worried about her.
>>3861616
Glad to see you like it.
Out of curiosity, are there more than this anon reading? I've been responding to one person and i keep thinking he's the same guy
>>3861742
I am a different anon than the other two you replied to.
>>3861770
>multiple strangers on the internet appreciate my shitty writing
What a feeling. I should write more
>>3861796
You should. This is pretty fuggin gud, m8
>>3861742
I too am reading.
(And copying down into a text file for posterity.)
>>3861742
>>3861796
I'm here reading. Just need to stay awake. Here's a bird to keep you going too.
>>3861815
>>3861820
>>3861839
O shit
Only problem is I don't know how to lewd well yet.
I don't really know where to take this, but I'm coming up with plot as I go. I haven't put much structure into this yet. Google tells me fucking up writing a sex scene is actually pretty fucking jarring for the entire thing.
>>3861742
>By looking at the passenger seat’s window, you saw her throwing these glances in the near-transparent reflection in the glass
>That same, cute smile from before was plastered onto her face, and it seemed to only get wider.
>You also saw how her elbows kinda shoved her chest together
>[Unf’s internally]
>A couple times she even tried (and failed) to hide her excitement by visibly toning it down a bit
>She was trying to look cool.
>To impress you.
>...
>God, you seriously hoped you could be whatever she thinks you are to her.
>After that, it hit you.
>She looked like she really wanted to talk, you realized after you pulled your eyes away from the reflection of her tits
>So you did.
>The two of you kept talking for the rest of the ride
>And by some miracle, you managed to keep a constant stream of conversation for the whole rest of the way.
>A lot of it was her describing her life until that point, and you cracking a /sensible/ amount of jokes when you could
>It’s at this point when her veering into the other lane gets kinda scary, because of her laughing
>You really didn’t think you were that funny, but she seems to be eating up everything you say
>>3861897
>I don't know how to lewd well yet.
Grab a thesaurus and describe everything in excruciatingly thorough detail. It's really actually not hard to do, it's just time-consuming, because you want to proof-read your work as much as possible to make sure there isn't a lot of repetition.
>>3861897
No pressure.
>>3861897
I don't remember where I found this but I figure this might be worth reading for you.
http://pastebin.com/eVp3jXHv
Best of luck.
>>3862102
Just keep the buildup. I like what you've laid out here, don't rush the lewd.
>>3861923
>But you did learn a fair amount about her.
>She’d lived in [Rural-Nevada-esque Desert Town] for her entire life
>There were some small family vacations here and there to the coast, but that was about it for her.
>Her gig at the gas station was her current second job, since she works as a waitress during lunch hours.
>The mental image of her in classic American diner gear runs through your head
>Simply designed top, matching skirt that was intentionally designed as a mite short
>Did the stereotypical diner have those?
>Well, the rest of the world isn’t hooters you guessed
>She’s also got a couple friends back in town, most of which aren’t human and have been there around as long as her
>You never saw that as a bad thing, but it didn’t help SJW’s blaring their shit about “necessary species diversity”
>cunts, the lot of them really
>Her description of the town itself fits the mold of these highway places though
>Small-time casinos, bars, clubs of all kinds
>Essentially smaller, stupendously shitty versions of Las Vegas
>With people most of the time just as shitty.
>You wondered if you’d actually see the regional meth chef and priest.
>Probably not.
>>3862392
>But after an hour, you two pull up to a motel-looking place.
>From the outside, it looked like the most honest place here.
>”So, this is technically my ‘apartment,’” she began
>”I know it’s a little… underwhelming? From the outside, but it’s a real cozy place. Is that... okay with you…?”
“Well, it doesn’t look like it wants to snag my wallet just yet.”
>Another giggle.
“But yeah. If you trust it, I’m game.”
>She flashes that excited smile one more time, and walks past towards one of the ground-floor rooms.
>The way she’s hanging on your every word
>It’s amazing how someone could be so invested in you
>When you seriously think she could be doing much, much better
>no anon
>that’s shitty, autistic thinking
>Don’t be a fucking cuck and go along with her.
>You hang back a second, and watch her rear as she walks ahead of you.
>Not only can you see generous amounts of side and underboob, but her rear is mesmerizing to watch.
>The way each individual cheek moved in accordance to the other, complimented by her thick thighs
>How is this girl swooning over you?
>>3862548
and like that, I need sleep again.
Don't die on me burdthread, I'll return.
>>3861839
Birbs love seed of all kinds
Another bird from sleep deprivation.
>>3861897
Make sure to keep using the word grool
>>3858083
Very nice, I also like the birder in the background.
>>3862570
This is great, anon!
>>3862648
You actually draw really well. How long have you been drawing?
>>3862785
A few years. Decently only recently.
>>3862980
I admire and envy your determination.
Please unbirth me and rebirth me as your daughter
>>3863209
That's a rather specific fetish. Are you -that- unhappy with your existing parents and your existing life?
>>3822496
I may be several days behind and the story has already been concluded later in the thread, but I just have to say this anyway
So far in the story I cant see it ending in anything other than bad for Anon.
I mean, just look at this:
>Attractive birdwoman being interested and kind of flirty for no reason. She must be planning something.
>Its in the middle of the night, far away from anything and anyone. No way to get help.
>allusions to her friends being a fun bunch. who? no one is around for miles and miles.
If Anon doesnt end up fleeing from crazed desert cultists, or that the birdwoman ends up being an alien parasite that eats Anons then I will be disappointed.
>>3862102
Depends on the story. I wouldn't worry too much about blueballing since you're actively working towards it.
Besides it doesn't seem that large, especially if you put it into normal sentence formation. Don't sweat the length.
weed burd
>>3824428
Is she from Qarth?
>>3846562
I think the implication is that she's covered in cum in public but nobody can tell. I think that's hot as fuck.
birb bump
>>3864911
Writefag here
There's a town they're heading into. Think something like Winnemucca.
>>3868919
oh I wasnt serious about that, I did read that it'd be a cute story. And I did read the rest you have posted in here, its good.
>>3862548
>Saying Anna was ‘stacked’ was a /massive/ understatement.
>wait
>if things got /sexual/
>What if you couldn’t keep up?
>What if you pop 20 seconds in, or during foreplay?
>You can imagine it
>A disappointed Anna, with a small amount of disappointing seed on her disappointed face with your disappointing dick shrinking from between her tits.
>”Anon, what the fuck.”
>Oh God.
>She’s been acting like you were some higher being all night, and you might actually disappoint her in a seriously important way.
>It wasn’t even about being shitty at sex that bothered you
>Iit was whether or not you could preserve that smile.
>There’s a thicc bird who wants you to like her, and is definitely pretty inviting in hopefully more ways than one
>and all you can think about is making her actually happy.
I'm dumping the rest of what I've got, then I'm just gonna start constructing what I can for lewds. I still feel like I can flesh out Anna's character a bit more.
>>3870361
>Hey, dick?
>Are you okay?
>[Nah brain, I’mma let you take over until you get this shit sorted out]
>That’s kinda comforting to hear yourself think
>You /really/ wanted to think more so about whether or not she’d actually go through with a titfuck
>if you two did fuck at all
>”Anon?”
>huh?
>Anna’s about 30 feet from you and halfway through unlocking her door
>She’s got a half-smile on, as if she just caught you nabbing cookies from a jar
>But she really caught you spacing out
>With your head at a downward angle
>with your eyes pointed exactly where her ass would be.
>and currently is.
>shit.
>You look back up at her, and prepare for the worst.
>Maybe she’d start swearing how you were just like other guys she might have dated.
>Maybe she’d just slap you and be done with it.
>Maybe she’d lock the door and let you walk back to the gas station.
>Dammit
>You don’t want her to be mad at you.
>>3870381
>...
>She’s got you around her finger.
>But she only gives you that half-lidded stare and smiles.
>”And here you are lecturing me about decency.”
>...
>”Come on, Anon. Let’s get inside.”
>Holy shit.
>She didn’t drop your ass.
>You figure you better get said ass inside or she might.
>With that, you powerwalk towards the door and turn the knob.
>Her ‘apartment’ is an over-glorified motel room
>and by that, there’s actually more than one small room.
>Granted, you walk into a living room/kitchen combo with a small opening leading to her bedroom
>That has only one bed.
>She has a sofa in the entry
>Noted for later use
>>3870419
Moar
>>3870419
Anon better get some at least some good snuggles.
Keep it up man, and I dont just mean Anons dick.
oh and some bird tits
>>3870676
I'm planning on bird tits. Not sure if I can use burdpuss, but I'm thinking about it.
>>3870419
>”So here’s my place! It’s a little small, mind you, but I like to think it’s perfect for someone like me.”
“Someone like you? So you’re saying that someone as exalted as I wouldn’t survive in this place?”
>”I bet your ass wouldn’t make it a week without… something, that I...probably don’t have.”
>You don’t think her tone could have changed in a more jarring manner.
>Every word in that sentence deflated her confidence, then and there.
>It’s strange, it’s like
>Like she’s embarrassed for taking you here.
>Does she think this place is a shithole?
>It’s really quaint, actually. And not in that snobbish way real estate people use the word
>It’s a small, humble place
>The wallpaper and furniture scream out in 70’s interior decorating
>The old lamps she’s got on give off that comforting yellow-orange glow, and give the room a nice tint.
>The light also lets you get a better look at Anna.
>>3871062
>She’s currently in the kitchen right now, bent over and rooting through a small fridge
>Yes, her ass is basically the biggest visible feature she has at the moment
>But your dick isn’t exactly interested until you KNOW she isn’t fucking with you.
>As for actually looking at her, however
>You can now see how her feathers actually had some color to them besides white.
>At the ends of her plumage and into her tuft, there’s a soft purple at the ends of each feather
>It’s not overwhelming for a color change, and it really does add some depth to her coat.
>You really can’t believe you didn’t notice that before.
>She, however, notices you staring at her again
>”Anon? Is something wrong?”
“No, actually. I was just looking at your feathers.”
>She cocks an eyebrow.
>”Right. My ‘feathers.’”
>See, even if you were staring at her ass that time
>She’s okay with it.
“I’m serious. I didn’t notice how they changed color at the ends. They actually look really spectacular.”
>>3871081
I'm on a train and my dick's about to explode, anon
I hope you'll be happy when the news is covering my apparent terror attack, you and your stupid stupid sexy bird asses
>>3871081
Im just waiting for her to confess to Anon about her human fetish.
>>3871739
Truly, a bird-ass worth of VimHomeless
>>3871785
Anna and Melissa meetup when
Wanna know what's funny about any threesome with Anna?
There's a cockatoo, and a cock-or-two!
...I'll see myself out
>>3872162
Pretty decent bad joke to be honest.
>>3871081
bruh
>>3871854
Melissa's a fucking qt-supreme.
And what a schweet ass.
>>3871905
>that ball fondling
HNNNNNNNNNNG
Link the next thread here, these are definitely worth a second round
>>3872370
>fondling
It looks like something that would happen during an "enhanced interrogation" session.
>>3753621
>zero effort greentext prompt thread
>multiple writefags and very high quality thread art out of nowhere
its like i'm back on mlp
>>3871081
>She didn’t expect that.
>Well, you’re pretty sure she didn’t.
>Mostly because she gave you a pretty stunned look.
>Her eyes went wide, and she gave you a blank stare for a second
>right before her tuft and face feathers slightly ruffle, which you assume to be the bird equivalent of a blush.
>”You… really...oughta… get some rest. Both of us. Should rest.”
>There’s that adorable smile again.
>Without actually taking anything from the fridge, she walks towards her “bedroom.”
>”Over here is actually the only bed I’ve got. I know most of these rooms have couches that turn into beds, but my landlord didn’t feel like springing for more than she had.”
“I can sleep basically wherever. I slept in my car for a bit before I reached the station, actually.”
>”Then that settles it then! You’re sleeping in a bed. I’m not gonna let MY special guest sleep in anything else than the best I've got!”
>She’s so determined and adorable
>It’s amazing.
>She’s amazing.
>and YOU'RE her /special/ guest?
“Anna, really. I’m fine. Where would you sleep?”
>”Well, um… actually… haha… I was wondering if...”
>Wait
>is she
>”Would you be… okay with… sharing?”
>SHE DID
>>3872234
shit bruh
>>3872404
It's /mlp/ but with porn. It's everything we could want.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
>>3872404
High quality writefags? :D
SorryINeedValidationCuzIDon'tDoThisOften
>>3872441
>>3872469
doin good writebro
>>3872469
I was debating doing some things, but yeah. Your shit is taking the cake and I'd hate to clutter it with my dabbling.
Plus I can't decide the angle I want to take.
>>3872469
Have a chub bird for approval.
>>3872638
Write whatever you want in a doc, then post if you want to.
I'm making shit up along as I go, but to me it's getting stale because I'm spending the time thinking about what I'm saying.
Pic related is honestly so true, I can't believe it. I honestly don't even see myself as a redeemable writer. Don't be afraid, Anon.
>>3872702
>chub
That's not chubby, that's absolute perfection.
>>3872441
>She’s looking at you with puppydog eyes
>...
>There is no WAY that she’s doing this on accident.
>and Holy SHIT
>This absolute PARAGON of cute sexiness wants you in her bed.
>Don’t fuck it up.
“...That sounds amazing, actually. Thanks for everything so far. I really don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met you.”
>Now if she was happy before
>She’s positively beaming now.
>Her smile is huge, that blush-ruffle is back
>You seriously wanted to hug her and see if she’d explode
>wait a sec
>don’t be autistic
>You move in closer and get her into a nice hug.
>You try to get your arms around her while trying to avoid copping a feel if you could
>You wanted to be friendly, give flirting like THAT some more time.
>One arm over the shoulder, one arm under hers
>You press into her chest with yours, but if you wanted it to be a good hug
>You could feel /them/ press into you and squeeze back inwards towards her
>>3872728
>I honestly don't even see myself as a redeemable writer.
Likewise. People just like reading and unless it's actually irredeemable shit, will fill in gaps themselves and make it 10/10 to them in many cases. Hell, I haven't read a proper book in close to a year and a half.
I don't have any bird shit saved either, just a story of a Peasant getting a bunch of bitches, which does have one pretty decent sex scene that ended up giving him more scars than a war-torn immortal.
>>3872404
>its like i'm back on mlp
so were all faggots?
>>3872769
birbs are for hugs and cuddles, sexual comes later
>>3872769
>She covered most of your upper body with her breasts.
>It was basically unavoidable
>You can feel her breathing hitch, followed by her beginning to hyperventilate
“You okay there Anna?”
>You pull back slightly with your arms still around her
>She’s looking at you, but she isn’t doing well
>She’s shivering, and kinda stuttering.
>”Y-y-yeah! I’m great! It’s always n-nice to help… people out! Don’t w-worry about me, I’m fine, just a little worried is all, but it’s all great! Good! Amazing! I mean, I haven’t had anybody over for a while, even longer since I had a g-guy...”
>She’s sperging out.
>The female equivalent of an autism assault
>You may have the solution if she really likes you
>but if she’s leading you on, you could fuck this up in an instant
>”A-and you’re...SUPER cool, I mean I thought you were interesting at the gas station, and I didn’t know if you’d... bother talking to me and I was worried you’d be intimidated or turned off by me being a bird, and all that and Ididn’twantyoutobeafraidofmepleasedon’tbescared...”
>You have to take the chance.
>She’s gonna pass out if she keeps this up.
>Not just because she’s actually hyperventilating, but because you might actually be stressing her out way too much.
>>3872873
I've done a fair amount of buildup, I think I can take this at the current pace. Comfort now, sexuals in a bit.
>>3872162
Been waiting for a bird pun
>>3873113
>>3873155
Seems anon is going to get two birds in his hand and one hand in the bush.
[spoiler]bird related enough?[/spoiler]
This story is have kept me up for way to long. hopefully thread'll be here in the morning.
Night
>>3873302
it wont because bump limit
>>3861063
Dear WriteFriend,
As long as the delivery is made im happy. sorry and thanks.
Sincerely
No.3847065
Are we going to have another thread? We could just copy/paste the story right now into the new thread for people who haven't read it.
>>3873484
Probably easier to put it into a pastebin and link that at the start.
>>3873723
>I have full faith we can start an avian general
There already is one of those and it's very gay.
>>3873113
>In her rampant speed-talking, you can see her kinda slowly… tear up a bit?
>You gotta move.
>NowOrNever.webm
>You lean in, close your eyes, and plant your lips on her beak.
>You can feel her freeze up, but slowly relax and begin to return the kiss.
>Her breathing returns to normal, and you can hear her give a soft moan as she begins to tickle your lips with her tongue.
>While human lips weren’t exactly meant to be touching the mouth of a bird,
>You make do.
>Her beak isn’t very long, and is pretty wide
>For the most part, she seems to be able to accommodate you and your tongue quite well
>She can control her “lips” just fine, as it seems
>But her triangular tongue seemed to be trying to control yours
>Well, you’re not going down without a fight.
>A fight to go down.
>On her.
>mentalpuns.lmao
>As soon as you hold it in an even fight for a bit, she lets up and lets you work her tongue as you pleased.
>With you not being one to gloat, you pull back to reveal a small trail of both of your saliva between your now-disconnected lips.
>>3873389
What's the bump limit on /trash/?
>>3873773
300.
You can tell if a thread's hit it because the postcount goes into italics.
>>3873723
Thank you WriteFriend. And by the way, this is the best green i've ever read. I'm not exaggerating ether. Then again i've only been on 4Chan for 1 year and a half.
>>3873773
don't worry about losing it all
