I want stories of the absolute worst person you've played d&d with.
>be me
>playing 3.5 because for some godforsaken reason the dm does not like 5.
>was going to be and two friends, one of whom was dming.
>dm refused to have less than three players.
>enter his younger brother.
>cringe as fuck. Long red hair in a pony tail because he was going to try to give himself an anime hairstyle, pizza faced, and has maybe showered this year.
>is also at least halfway decent rollplayer, and better than some others we've played with (more stories to follow)
>go to tavern
>commotion over in corner that we decide to check out
>it's an in game game that the dm likes to play when he doesn't know what to do.
>other patrons have brought in a viper.
>viper sits on top of pile of coins and people try to grab the money without getting bitten.
>buy in is 5 silver, I'm a dwarf, plus 2 to resist poison, I figure why not?
>friend is Orc, he figures why not?
> you roll to see if you get bitten, if you do take one damage but still get the coin, nat 20, two coins no bite. Crit fail no coin 2 damage.
>play till I've lost 5 hp and walk away with 7 more silver pieces.
>friend does not fair as well, at half health but gets his 5 pieces back.
>now it's autist's turn
>is druid/mage
>put in 5 silver
>wild empathy
>the snake is hostile
>sense motive
>it wants to bite
>diplomacy
>wut?
>diplomacy
>it is a snake
>autist leaves
>wut
>scared of getting bit by snake
>has already payed and refuses to try to get it back.
Have more about how he nearly gets us killed, how he wastes a session wandering around the sewers BY HIMSELF, nearly gives us the Black Plague, and tries to convince a cleric that he knows more about medicine than him.
>>46662190
Sounds awful OP.
>>46662190
>>sense motive
>>it wants to bite
My sides
This dude sounds terrible but I want more
>D&D 3.5 Eberron game
>Well- completely by coincidence- show up a Goblin ninja, Hobgoblin samurai, Hobgoblin warblade, and a Half-Orc Monk- all from neighboring goblin nation of Darguun
>Fucking awesome
>One Player shows up and after seeing what we all have, decides she wants to be a Catfolk
>DM suggests a Shifter with werepanther ancestry
>Player insists on Catfolk
>DM relents
>Player wants to be a cleric of Bastey, the Egyptian goddess of sun, goddes, and cats
>DM points out that Bastet doesn't exist in Eberron. Suggests Dol Arrah, Goddess with Sun and and War domains
>Player insists on Bastet.
>DM relents
>Player doesn't start to decide which spell she'll cast until it's her turn. She then starts flipping through the book because she doesn't know what any of her spells actually do
>Once she chooses a spell, she still doesn't know how it works
>During one game, she proudly proclaims she's a furry and the rest of us roll our eyes because it was already painfully obvious
>Her character ends up dying, so she rolls up a new one: a Half-Elf Sorcerer. Things are starting to look better
>She starts dropping fireballs inside an inn and the middle of crowded streets
>Tries to fight off the guards when they come to stop her
>Dies again
>She leaves the game
She was the worst. We mainly ignored her when it wasn't her turn, because the rest of us were having so much fun.
>>46662190
I went on a rant about this in a different thread last night, but short version is:
>Be running game for 3 players
>Player 1 and Player 2 both make interesting characters with backstories that leave tons of potential for interesting plothooks and sub-plots
>Player 3 basically makes a balnd "I'm in in it for the money" character.
>I allow Player 3 to tag along anyway, his character is boring, but pretty harmless. No extreme min-maxing, no Sue stuff, no anime inspiration.
>Game gets under way, a few sessions happen
>Player 1 and 2 both get really into the game as I start using stuff from their backstories
>Player 3 starts bitching about how his character has no reason to care about any of this
>I tell Player 3 (for the fifth time) that I'll gladly use stuff from his backstory if he can come up with something more than "mercenary, practiced fighting alot as a kid"
>Week passes, next session Player 3 still has nothing
>Player 3 continues to bitch about the entire game is focused on Players 1 and 2 (even when I go out of the way to throw in "neutral" content that isn't really about them at all)
> Does meth
> posts on a MRA chan, and brags about this in the FLGS
> Literally makes little girls cry, and chases away new blood in RPGs with his MRA antics
> Literally talked shit about me, the group, and the store workers on the chan he frequented.
> Literally stopped posting on this chan due to /v/ banning gamergate raids, which he feels is unconstitutional censorship
> Now runs a lonely Dark Heresy game, and does a shit job at it.
>>46663628
>does meth
that was all you needed to say
>>46663843
> Claims that he doesn't do meth, but literally has meth teeth, and pockmarked skin.
> I'm gonna say he does anyways, because it made him cry about it on MRA chan
>>46663628
>MRA chan
If you're talking about 4+4 chan, kill yourself for throwing around MRA like retards do with SJW.
>>46664028
That's literally how he self identifies, and identified the 4+4 chan. And no thanks, I like living.
I'd bring it up for the 7000th time on here.
Have you guys heard of Tim?
There's an imgur archive dedicated to just his antics, and its a fucking big archive.
>>46664778
Plugged hard drive in.
Commencing dump of Tim.
>>46664806
Fuck captcha.
>>46664806
>>46664822
FYI this guys whole MO is constantly lying and bragging about shit he didn't do.
We'd be talking about class features then he'd randomly start talking about how good at sex he was.
>>46664835
>>46664839
By the way I'm not even looking at whats in these pictures I assume it's just really dumb shit he's said. It doesn't matter what he's says anyway, he lies more than a Lord of Change.
>>46664860
Oh yeah he likes to talk about how fast he drives cars too.
>>46664884
OH YEAH
He loved talking about how dangerous he was I'll tell you the story about what he actually got arrested for later as well. He even lied about what he got charged with.
>>46664900
>>46664909
He also knows everything about everything too.
>>46664884
iggy?
Is that you iggy?
You son of a bitch.
>>46664909
Topic is: I want stories of the absolute worst person you've played d&d with.
In that entire image dump I don't think there was a single mention of DnD... or any traditional games in general. It really belongs in /b/ to be honest.
>>46664921
Axel
>>46664930
Oh yeah, it says D&D.
Sorry about that everyone.
Here is the link to the imgur with just, hundreds of retarded things he's said.
I challenge you to read the whole thing in one go and not cringe.
http://imgur.com/a/SS1Q2
>>46664934
damn you iggy, gimmy my money
>>46662190
My story is super tame compared to most of /tg/ because I only ever really game with friends, but here goes:
>hang out with the nerdy kids in highschool
>have core group of friends who always get together and game on weekends in shit
>we're all still friends even in uni, are still friends and even game together today (we graduated in 2003)
>It's 2004. guy from highschool days who wasn't usually part of the group and lives a bit of a walk from my place wants to join the gaming group, we don't see a problem, the dude never gave off any kind of That Guy vibe before.
>start new campaign, friend and longtime member of the group who literally never DMed before this point is gonna try DMing for the first time ever
>game day, just me, new guy, DM, and other friend. Characters are made, still no red flags from new guy, we've got a pretty average party, IIRC I'm a swordsage, new guy is some flavor of fighter, other friend is a caster of some sort.
>seriously, no red flags. Yet.
>game starts, new DM makes new DM mistakes, whatever it's cool, he's new to it.
>new guy sure is bitching a lot though...
>everything we do is badwrong fun and the new DM's mistakes are the worst thing to ever happen to gaming
>aw shit, NOW the red flags are waving
>we're chasing some dudes through a warehouse district, new DM isn't sure how to handle some things, I give him some suggestions to help him out
>whole time new guy is grumbling
>Some other shit happens, it gets late, game ends and everyone is packing up to go home.
>on his way out, we're talking with the GM and giving him feedback on how to improve and what he did right, remember this is his first fucking time DMing ever.
>new guy: "I don't know if you guys are really ready for D&D at all, you should just stick to Munchkin or something."
>I tell him it's getting late and the way back to his place doesn't have a lot of street lights, he should probably get going before it gets any later
>we never invite him back
is this the guy that does 12 hour long pathfinder games?
>>46662190
Op, do you smell toast?
>2 buddies and i want to change things up from the norm
>half the usual groups gone for springbreak anyway so better time than ever
>decide to run a 5e open game using dm buddy's homebrew he says is good for oneshots at the lgs
>lgs holds open game days twice a week so we plan for saturday and hope we get some people who haven't left town for spring break
>get the table set up and start working on our character sheets while we wait for some people to show some interest
>get an average fa/tg/uy, a nice but almost unintelligible asian new to the country, and crossdresser that came nowhere near to passing but acted like a well adjusted adult until later
>rolled up your average human cleric with a massive god complex CN
>player buddy rolled up a conan ripoff half-orc barb with a thing for feats of strength to show off CN
>fa/tg/uy rolled up a human paladin LG
>asian guy rolls up an elf wizard who was more an asshat sage type that spoke in riddles and proverbs that at first sounded good until you realize its all shit and he's just covering his idiot shaped tracks, was immensely funny guy though
>crossdresser rolls up a futa elf fighter N and gets extraordinarily defensive when asked about it
>goes on and on constantly reiterating that one damn entry in lore about some elves being born in the shape of that one god thats both male and/or female
>dm reassures the guy we aren't judging just that its a bit unusual
>cue a 5 minute spiel on how its not unusual for "non-conforming genders" mentally so why not in a game?
>>46665000
>dm manages damage control while i was just debating calling it
>buddy's seem willing to keep the train moving though so I say fuck it
>game actually gets moving with us all meeting in a town square
>me and paladin got a vision from our god to meet up at the place and find other travelers also given divine mandate
>barb buddy and elf futa were a merc team advertising their services while barb did strongman acts to show off prowess
>wizards only explanation for being there was "one must only faro birds to find bread crumbs." We just figure he also got the message
>dm's setting mood while me and cleric camp out at a the local well waiting for our fellow pilgrims to show
>wizard is watching from an alley like a creeper for no stated reason
>barb is tossing logs while the fighter is still on a soapbox offering bodyguard services
>goblins suddenly start pouring out of a nearby forest
>me and paladin team up with barb and fighter since they were the only ones to stand and fight which we took to mean they're the folks we were looking for
>between a combination of shitty rolls, the wizard still watching from an alley, and 4 guys fighting off goblins the dm setup for a 5 man we're doing pretty bad
>fighter needs some help so me and paladin start moving cause barb was the only one holding his shit
>fa/tg/uy says something along the lines of "m'lady, we're here to help!"
>around this time the wizard actually pops in and we manage to take care of shit
>i'm ic reasonably angry since we knew he was there and only popped in now
>says something like "each cat has their own mouse they catch."
>took that as "you guys like playing the heroes i like being the cavalry." But again alot of his sayings were nonsensical
>>46665031
>time to fix shit up cause there's always more goblins
>try to heal fighter
>fighter wants to rolls initiative against me
>why?!
>not sure if this was IC or OC but the elf player says "i don't need help from a man."
>takes the time to point at the fa/tg/uy "and you! Its zim, zer, or zey. Respect my pronouns."
>now up to this point excluding the whole futa bit the elf player seemed decent enough and actually got into rping the whole merc for hire bit so the whole tumblrism turn was relatively out of left field
>kind of confused at what exactly was happening and before i could say anything fa/tg/uy mumbles something
>no idea what he said as he was directly across from me but the elf player apparently heard it loud and clear
>elf player socks the fa/tg/uy out of nowhere hard enough to make him tumble out of his chair
>takes me a second to figure out what just happened but somehow both buddies are out of the room already and i got an angry guy in a dress making a grab for me over the table
>just push the table forward and make a run
>cue what must have looked hilarious but was terrifying to me at the time scene of me getting chased by this guy in a dress shouting shit at me through the isles of the store trying to get my ass outside
>finally managed to get outside and me and buddies hold the door closed
>not sure if they were in the neighborhood or i was dodging that long but cops show up just in time to see some nutcase scratching at the door like a rabid animal while my buddies are losing it and I'm practically pissing myself
>crossdresser is gone from sight somewhere and we move away from the door while the cops just walk in
>hear some shouting and see board game boxes fly for a few seconds
>turns out they actually had to taze him
>>46665077
>everybody gets interviewed
>luckily store owner is a bro and isn't pressing charges or even trying to lay any blame at anyone just wants his shit paid for by crazy
>fa/tg/uy is losing his shit and wants to press charges
>asian guy who i lost in the fray finally showed up and just thinks this is the funniest thing ever and actually gives us his info after we're all allowed to leave
>never knew if the charges actually happened all i know is i never got an order to show up for testimony or anything
Two and a half years later and the asian guy still shows up for the weekly sessions and the lgs owner actually still lets us in the door.
>>46662190
Wild empathy lets you make diplomacy checks to improve the attitude of animals, dude.
Sounds like he figured 'Oh hey I'm playing a nature guy, I should be able to do nature shit and soothe the snake and just swipe all the coins and win' and then didn't explain what he was actually trying to do.
>>46665000
>>46665031
>>46665077
>>46665086
Shit, that was an unfortunate sequence of events. Still, though
>man in a dress
>NEEDING to play a strong empowered mercenary futa
>NEEDING to point out it's a futa to everybody else and arguing in favor of the thing by citing obscure pieces of lore just to be able to go "see? I can do it so respect my choice!"
the red flags were there from the beginning. Somebody acting like that is not a well-adjusted adult, rather an attention-seeking sucker with too many internet privileges. The pronoun thing is just the icing on the cake.
>>46665077
Holy fucking jesus
>>46665086
Glad you guys gave that wizard a good welcome to America.
>>46665252
I expect at least some social awkwardness from gamestore goers so when i say "decent person" i'm going by those standards.
>>46665295
Guy's awesome outside of games and the only thing that was stopping him from being a good rper as well was the language barrier he's hurdled over.
>>46665000
Should have shutdown the futa shit by saying the book mentions hermaphrodites which means something inbetween a man and a woman, not a girl with a dick grafted on.
>>46662190
>DnD 3.5, rolled a barbarian with a big fucking hammer
>DM is That DM, the one who thinks that DnD is a game of him vs. the party
>Grind our way through a dungeon chugging health potions like Amy Winehouse at open bar night.
>You have to roll a nat 20 on Perception to spot this trap, anon, it's extra sneaky, and does 4d6 damage plus poison.
>Finally get to the end boss, a sorcerer with an obviously enchanted sword
>Sorcerer rolls a two on Initiative (GM rolls everything in the open, at least) still manages to go first
>Sorcerer immediately wall hugs the far side of the room while our mostly-melee party struggles to keep up
>I'm fastest, I'm within charge range of him thanks to my build being movement-focused
>DM has him automatically pass a hit roll throwing his sword at me, which does twice my health in damage.
>"What the fuck?"
>"He can do that. You shouldn't have gotten so close."
>"Are you using the ability from the book?"
>"Yeah."
>"Can I see it?"
>"Sure."
>We look it up.
>DM tacked on five squares to the range to overlap my ability to charge his stupid OP character.
>"Oh I guess I messed up. OK, you charge."
>Kill the sorc in one round of close combat because he's a sorc and I'm a barbarian.
>GM looks at me like I just admitted that I did 9/11
>"Anon your character's really not meshing well with the party power level."
>Entire rest of the party either unconscious or dead behind me.
>>46665366
>playing Dark Souls as a D&D game
>>46665406
I've pondered introducing Dark Souls-like elements. Respawning, bosses being hard enough to require several deaths to learn their patterns and abilities, characters phasing in and out of the world.
>>46665366
>>46665406
Another episode of this dude
>Second campaign, some time after the first (which fell apart from the entire party being dead + GM being salty over me surviving)
>Ma'iq knows much now
>Make the absolute tankiest, healiest, life stealiest Paladin/Cleric immovable armor cube that mortal math can grant me.
>Get the DM to sign off on Agoraphobia as a flaw for a bonus feat, give me a reason to literally never, ever take my armor off. He sleeps in his armor, he bathes in his armor, he drinks most of his meals through a straw he can poke through his visor.
>Rest of the party plays a variety of regular dudes.
>Party climbing in the mountains
>"You hear thunder in the distance."
>"We keep going."
>"It's getting closer. You see a mountain giant appear over the horizon, coming towards you."
>"How big is it?"
>"The size of a mountain."
>Giant the size of the Chrysler Building
>I make a nat 18 on Dex to squeeze between a few rocks, hold my head, and wish for a softie DM
>Rest of the party waiting
>Giant notices the party
>Party all waving and yelling
>"The giant takes this as an attack. Roll initiative."
>Most of the party tries to run.
>One guy gets to be the first adventurer in space when the giant throws him away
>Another guy manages to hide, he and I are the only survivors out of 5.
>We make it to the next town.
>My survivor friend and I have no money, it went to space
>Survivor friend tries to steal some food since this is a game where you take fucking damage for skipping a day of eating
>Gets caught by an old apple salesman with 20 Perception
>The townspeople clamor for justice
>They bring my friend to the middle of the town and demand that I kill him
>I raise my sword.
>I look at the GM
>"Roll Initiative."
>"For who?"
>"All of them."
>Spend three hours being an unkillable wedge of armor and health regen.
>Everyone dies. No one is spared.
>Survivor friend is killed in the melee
>DM suggests we stop the campaign.
>I'm not invited to the next game
>>46665500
Don't.
>>46662190
>diplomacy
Wasn't there something like handle animals in 3.5?
>>46665528
Why not?
>>46665366
>>46665506
I don't even understand how these GMs come to be, though I know they exist since I've had oneno interesting story at all, it was a very straight-forward hack and slash that was stacked against the players
Like, man, I can at least understand most That Guy behaviour even if I disagree with it. Sometimes a dude is horny and doesn't understand he's making other people uncomfortable with his slave elf, sometimes a guy cares more about his character than the game, sometimes people are stupid and don't realize just how poor their decisions are.
But it seems so counter-intuitive to me to think that a person would volunteer to DM and then actively cripple the game he set up for by killing the players. It doesn't feel like a missed shot, it feels like playing solitaire Russian roulette.
>>46665544
It doesn't work nearly as well as you're imagining, especially in a system like D&D. "Boss patterns" means nothing, your players WILL find a way to cheese the respawning (ignoring how stupid it is at it's core), characters phasing in and out of the world will get old fast. Not to mention all these video game elements will just make the game feel like a video game. If you want to add Dark Souls to your game, do it via the lore and aesthetics, not the mechanics. Things that work well in a video game just don't translate well to tabletop roleplaying games.
>>46665506
That was fucking golden ahhaha
>>46665535
Yeah, there's handle animal, although I'm not 100% sure how it works and doubt it'd be useful here. However, wild empathy is a druid & ranger class feature that acts as diplomacy towards animals, the OP implies it gives a general impression of the animals attitude.
Essentially it seems like the druid knew what he was doing, the rest of the group didn't know the rules. The druid probably couldn't be bothered to correct them and potentially start a fight, so he just gave up on his 5 silver (which is worth next to nothing anyway).
>>46665506
My inner Paladin disapproves. My inner frustrated player says AAAAWWW YYYIIISSS.
>>46665593
maybe as something scenic, to add drama to the story?
>longtime/beloved character dies horribly
>party moves on
>they find him in a dungeon, suddenly waking up from a horrible nightmare, breathing heavily and covered in sweat
>demons at work? Work of magic?
some narrative devices of the Souls series can work, if the GM uses them as part of the story rather than part of the mechanics.
>>46665593
Have to agree, if you want to add a Dark Souls feel to the game only work on lore and atmosphere, never try to implement the game mechanics.
In a homebrew i made long ago i decided that it would be better just to allow a maximum of 2 deaths, the first one when you became hollow and the next one when you lost your sanity and become a mindless NPC
>>46665500
>>46665528
>>46665544
try less 'ape dark souls entirely'
nobody likes being stuck up against a brick wall for four hours while the DM jacks off about some gribbly he's cooked up
pdf related is a pretty decent GURPS setting that you can probably homebrew in another system if you're feeling wonky
it's all about a world where humanity is trapped in little bubbles of life called 'havens' in which all the gribblies and nasties of hell can't enter. any time a human dies they're sent back to the nearest haven and missing just a little bit of their soul as well as all their gear, both of which can be taken by whatever demon killed them (if the rest of the party either died or abandoned the fight)
humans have to leave the havens to find resources and supplies since they can't subsist forever off of what's left in the havens alone
it's pretty interesting and pulls off a 'dark souls' setting in a way that isn't just trying to cut and paste the game into a trpg
>>46665593
also this
>>46665583
What was retarded was that he'd write out these months-long campaigns with characters, settings, etc, all planned out and decently orchestrated, and then kill everyone in the third or fourth session. After the second time (when I suddenly turned to worship of Khorne in the middle of the idyllic peasant village of eagle eyed Oblivion guards) the entire group disintegrated. I foreverGM for three of the four now.
>>46665593
I feel it could suit for a 'meat-grinder', 'dungeon-crawler' style game where it already is fairly 'vidya'.
I'm kind of interested in how a tabletop game built around respawning would play out now. I mean, I'm sure players would abuse the fuck out of it since players are players, but I'm curious to see what kind of crazy shit they'd come up with.
It'd probably need a narrativist system or some clever homebrew that accommodates for meaningful losses without gimping respawns.
>>46664806
>>46664822
>>46664835
>>46664839
>>46664860
>>46664884
>>46664900
>>46664909
>>46664918
>>46664927
>>46664934
holy snooze. Alex?
What the hell, alex
>>46665789
Well, I was imagining it like Dark Souls- points in a fairly linear dungeon to 'save' your XP and gear. Downside is that either the respawn is locked so at worst you lose not enough XP to de-level, or everyone has to be remaking their sheets all the time.
>>46665789
I played a higher level pathfinder game where resurrection magic was commonplace, if a bit pricey. The game revolved around important fights being more around completing objectives like "secure the artifact" or "get the information out to the army" rather than killing all the enemies.
It became a bit surreal to my players where lower level mooks started rushing in with fireball beads and one enterprising wizard used an explosive rune on his tongue to escape capture as he was recloned in his cloning tanks back in his lair.
One brilliant point was where a tiny fairy nearly kicked the shit out of our magus with lightning spells. She didn't get it until she discovered she'd killed the owlbear druid who had been reincarnated as the fairy later on.
>>46665758
Some of it isn't impossible, but you have to think carefully about what is and isn't a "video game element," a thing that is in the game only for the sake of making it a good video game, and what does and doesn't work within your system of choice.
For example, let's assume you're using D&D 5e.
You want to add the element of learning boss patterns. Obviously in a video game this means a lot because you have full control of what happens in real time with a twitch of your fingers. But what about in D&D 5e? What options do you really have? Ok, so the enemy is telegraphing using a big attack in the last round, what do you do now? Raise your AC a piddly amount with a defensive action? Pray to god your party caster has a buff against that attack type? You could move out of its reach, but if it can move and attack, or the attack is ranged, that doesn't mean jack squat. Maybe you could get behind cover and hope for another piddly AC bonus.
Your options here are HIGHLY limited, D&D doesn't have a lot of active defense options, making the "boss pattern" element little more than knowing beforehand exactly how you're going to take damage.
>>46665979
Now lets take respawning:
Obviously as a video game you're going to want more than one try at it, so respawning is an important element... of a video game. But what about D&D 5e?
Well, let's try to actually make that work! Step one: Completely fucking ignore 99% of how it works in the video game.
Ok, so what can we keep? Well, it requires a specific location, that one must attune to somehow (Great! Attunement is already a mechanic in 5e! We already have an element of our respawn mechanic down!), they're only for "undead" (in the DS sense), and there should be some kind of drawback to resting or respawning.
Well, the first part is easy, Bonfires are something of a magic artifact in the game world, they can't be moved or destroyed by mundane means. Easy enough. Next, lets assume we decided the PCs having the undead curse is a thing, gives the campaign a driving element, eh? Now according to the fluff, undead eventually go mad and turn Hollow. This isn't a thing in the video game the player actually has to worry about since it wouldn't make for a very fun video game to completely lose control of your character and have to start from the beginning, but in RPGs a character dying and introducing a new one is par for the course. So lets say when a character dies they turn to ash and reforms at the Bonfire they're currently attuned to, and have to make some kind of mental stat save to keep their sanity and not turn Hollow, preferably with a climbing DC with every death, of course.
Alright, so far we have bonfires require attunement and respawning risks Hollowing.
>>46665985
Now, when you rest or respawn at a bonfire in game non-boss enemies respawn as well. This is a video game thing, it's just stupid in an RPG, scrap this, it's not important or essential for our purposes and only exists for the sake of the video game being a video game. So what's our cost for having this respawn point?
Duh, you risk Hollowing when you respawn and you're using up a magic item attunement slot on this insurance.
What about resting? Easy enough, when using a short rest in the bonfire's radius it's treated as a long rest. The cost of this? Does it really need one all things considered? I mean you have to run back to this place and use a short rest, it's not really THAT different from running to the nearest inn except that it'll only be an hour later instead of a day later.
So, Bonfires: Can't be moved, require attunement, only a Cursed Undead can attune to a bonfire, and you can't be attuned to more than one Bonfire at a time. When you reform near a bonfire you're attuned to after death you must make an increasingly more difficult Wis(Cha?) save or lose your mind and go Hollow. Using a Short Rest near a bonfire you're attuned to gives the same benefits of having used a Long Rest.
That might actually work, yeah?
Played a game with a guy who rolled a character who's flaw was a crippling fear of humans.
Well in this setting the most common race was humans.
Also he got lucky on his stat rolls and had an int higher than my wizard. He would constantly do stupid things because "my character isn't smart, anon!" Nevermind having 19 int.
Luckily... or maybe unluckily our DM was shit and ended up killing most of the party by obviously fudging rolls and allowing enemies to do things that should have costed 2 extra actions on one turn, my character and his included, and gave me a good excuse to stop playing with them both.
Now I'm permaDM. It's a bit sad because I like RPing and I think I'm good at it. Is there a way to DMPC without becoming THAT DM?
>>46665583
Exactly. I don't understand some DMs whose mission is to try to kill the party in every encounter.
Played with a DM who killed us all off except for one PC who managed to run away. However, the PCs that died were stuck in the bad guys lair and no way for the single PC to retrieve the bodies. Not to mention, he's the kind of DM that doesn't make resurrection easy. But when the group, including the one PC that survived, hinted that we wanted to just start a new campaign he got all pissy and whined about how he had all this stuff planned out.
Then don't fucking make it your goal to kill us.
>>46663517
>using stuff from backstory instead of first having a cool adventure together and then look back on that
You are lame and player 3 was right. If your backstory is more dramatic or has more to work with than your current game, you should be working on current game.
>>46666199
Yes, don't go overboard with the backstory, don't tie him hard to any other important NPCs that they will encounter, make him overall weaker than the players and never have him save the day without dying.
>>46664806
>>46664822
>>46664835
>>46664839
>>46664860
>>46664884
>>46664900
>>46664909
>>46664918
>>46664927
>>46664934
I really want to physically hurt this person.
>>46666413
Yeah, I was thinking I could possibly have an NPC that pokes in and out, but has a character sheet. But could always keep him a level or two below the lowest leveled PC's.
He could appear just to offer aid IF the PCs accept it.
>>46666466"Hey, listen!"
>>46666541
Can you not please?
>>46666536
Nothing quite so annoying I promise. I really really want to not become that DM. Maybe kill him off (or something that would equally remove him from the story) if I feel myself tempted to stray into a dark path.
>>46666624
I was kidding, that would be a funny thing to do as a one-time NPC.
>Be person
>Go to convention
>Find a game and start making a character
>First encounter is a tpk
>Leave table and never go back
>>46665979
This is pretty spot on. I've read a few requests for say, a Monster Hunter game, but it's too tricky to translate into TTRPG gaming fully.
Pretty much since in Monster Hunter, all it takes for you to roll a 1 or fail a check and you're dead, while in the game itself you're frantically running, ducking, reacting, blocking in ways that dice can't quite justify.
>>46666306
The hell with you, nigga. If your character is soley interested in money and you don't pick up on any of the juicy money quests I throw your way, you don't get to complain the game is boring because you choose to sit it out yourself.
These questgivers are literally offering you cash straight up and you turn them down and then you say "there's nothing to do in this game". Fuck you, unless I resort to trying to have you arrested you don't do shit and if I do threaten you, you hide in a hole in the ground.
I swear one more session like that and you're out of the game.
>>46665997
Trip dubs and a good description!
>>46666637
So I could introduce a battle master who just distracts the enemy and helps the allies.
"Listen!"
"Watch out!"
>>46665506
My sides are gone like your ic money.
>>46664835
How do you know that he's not really good at sex? Have you ever had sex with him?
>>46664839
That's just plain untrue. Punk is the easiest-to-make music in the world. It even prides itself on being made by people with little or no skill. Jazz may be dull, but jazz musicians do have to learn more than three chords.
>>46663380
>>DM relents
As always, it always goes south from ther-
>>she
Aaand here we go, beta.
guys i was playing dnd and a liberal atheist college professor who was a member of the naacp and the aclu joined my game
i had a cool campaign about a nation usurped by Lord Soetero, a moorish pretender to the throne leading.an army of a merchant race with a dark past of persecution which was actually a lie
the pcs were supposed to find a way of testing the kings birthright by challenging this merchant race who controlled the realms banks, but apparently this triggers people and i was called.an antisemite
why cant pepple separete fiction from reality
>>46662190
Playing with my friends.
This one friend that aways cry that we leave him out of ours games (which is not true, he is the one who quits).
We invite him to play, say the date and the time to meet.
He doesn't appear in the first day, neither the second, nor the third.
Apears in the fourth, protests that we didn't call him.
Everybody say the date and show him the Facebook message.
He quiet down, sit and beguin making his character.
Elf, Ranger, Dual Wielding.
So far so good.
When we started playing he would only pay attention to his turn events, never know where we are and what is happining.
Rest of the group meet him in game.
As a tradition, we only show/say our names when In Character.
"What are thou name?"
"Zarashi Hokaido"
...
Elf + Japanese Name...
...
DM asks him the character background and the reason behind the name.
He doesn't know.
Did his sheet in 3 hours, didn't know why he had this name.
...
DM says he need to make a call and leave the room.
When he retuned said that he would go on a date later and need to go home.
Everybody now is angry. Say their goodbyes and leave.
>>46666306
Gonna have to disagree with you here. I fucking LOVE it when a GM is invested enough in my character to ask me as a player what sort of things I would like to see in the plot. It shows the GM actually cares about me having a good time and thinks my character is interesting.
>>46666929
>Guy who originally posted the story here.
Yeah... that post summarizes what's going on in my head half the time. I'm just too polite to say it.
>>46666306
Please inform me how you're supposed to have a campaign the players care about that DOESN'T rely on knowing what the characters care about and strive for. Really, I would seriously like to know. Yeah, I could do a dungeon crawl where they just have to get to the end of the dungeon because... reasons. But that makes for a shitty story.
MeanwhilePlayer 1 had a character who joined this group of bounty hunters because their mentor had been kidnapped by a group of syndicates so the help of people who hunt criminals for a living is a good way to find said mentor.
You really think I'm NOT going to incorporate that into the campaign somehow? Like I'm not going to drop clues and hints every once in awhile and have one of the ending plot arcs be this character actually finding their mentor? Yeah... sorry Player 3 feels left out because he "doesn't care" about that, but then again he doesn't care about ANYTHING. What am I supposed to do there? Player 2 doesn't have a problem with it, because Player 2 is a cool person and a team player and in-character actually cares about his comrades (and Player 1 is helping him on his own personal quest anyway).
Fuck... Guess I'll just stick to dungeon crawls and combat gauntlets.
Being a GM is suffering...
>>46662190
>playing 3.5 because for some godforsaken reason the dm does not like 5.
Solution to most of your problems lies ahead
>>46667822
(You)
>>46662190
>>sense motive
>>it wants to bite
Bullshit. Snakes don't just have a desire to bite shit. Snakes bite because they either want to eat the thing they are biting or because they are scared of the thing they are biting and want it to leave them alone. A druid legitimately capable of communicating with animals should be able to discern this and should probably be able to assure it they mean no harm and to let them take the treasure. Your "that guy" was in the right here: the DM should have allowed this (and he shouldn't include "gambling" which involve natural beasts in the future).
>>46667901
Sheesh. One mistake on the guy's part and suddenly everyone is a That Guy. It's the all-or-nothing fallacy in effect people.
>>46667361
>NAACP
>ACLU
>Making a campaign that revolves around evil negroes and Jews.
I think you're the jackass here for thinking that this would go over well.
Currently running a game with someone like this because he was friends with the group years before me.
>laptop out when someone else runs, claims it is for character sheet spread sheets
>consumes about 40,000 calories of food then passes out in the first few hours of game
>lies about things he has done constantly
>lies about things others call him out about
>lies about his character numbers, changes them through the sessions
>there only for combat and loot
>rhinks you can render poison from alny killed enemy, even humans or in setting where that make no sense
>gets char builds offline, claims are his secret weapon and doesn't adapt it to the game
>any time we play dnd, wants to be a human ranger who focuses on human slaying
>refuses to read setting info or lore
>"recovering" meth addict
So freaking tired of him. Close to leaving the group because they keep making excuses for him.
I almost kicked his ass when I found him going through another group members car but they talked me out of it.
>>46665406
>Playing Dark Souls at all
>>46665506
I need details on this build. How do you get life steal?
>>46664178
>I like living
What are you, some sort of socially adept and mentally stable person? Disgusting!
>played WoW at the table during game
>massive ic freakout at info given ooc that got us kicked out of the venue
>snuck peeks at the DMs campaign notes
>called people out on good rolls a la "I don't believe that nat20 [was genuine]"
>played obnoxious characters with zero depth (all of which were were-somethings)
>tried to buy us off with food
>blew up at another player for a minor joke
>drafted a five-page letter of reeeeeeeee to the GM when we finally kicked him
good fucking riddance
>>46666306
This is true of roleplaying MMOs, where not everyone can afford to be Drizzt or it looks cheesy, but in a tabletop RPG, the PCs are meant to be Big League Chew motherfuckers. They can have a dramatic backstory and all that, and it's fine.
Han Solo is a good example of a character who was in it "just for the money," but who was also constantly confronted by his past because of the colorful life he'd lived.
>>46666306
>I CAN'T ROLEPLAY! THE DM IS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT FOR ME!
That Guy Detected.
Absolute worst person I've never played with because our GM is good at filtering out the trash.
>>46667901
Sometimes it feels like no one knows how to work druids into a campaign. One of the adventures I played as a teen was DM'd by my friend's uncle, this veteran of tabletops, but he thrusts us into a setting where we were supposed to be dying of thirst in the desert. I cast "create water" and he looks at me like I've just killed his dog.
>>46662190
>Playing 3.5 with group of friends
>Never tried with this guy as DM before
>Party is level 1
>Enter a clearing
>Tower materializes out of nowhere
>Has small garden around it
>Decide to check it out
>The moment we step through the gate the area is under a deeper darkness effect
>Torches ranges for regular and low-light halved
>Am Orc Druid
>Tells me my Darkvision is halved as well
>Nigga, what?
>Whatever
>Party gets attacked by creatures that explode when they die
>Party seriously crippled
>Eventually realize we've been walking a long damned time
>Realize the garden has multiplied in size and is a hedge maze to boot
>Realize magic less effective here with a base chance to autofail
>Eventually get to end of maze
>Statues standing on pedestals with stone bows and arrows animate and begin firing at us
>I return fire with my own bow
>Their hardness outclasses any damage I'm capable of
>Magic still gimped
>Warlock essentially solos statues due to ignoring hardness
>We're all severely injured
>Stop to rest
And so ended the first session with a GM out to murder us all
>>46665506
>My survivor friend and I have no money, it went to space
So have my sides.
>>46671195
The GM's girlfriend had played with us for one of these Mario Party odysseys and had gotten pissed about his reputation for being the GM version of a murderhobo. In order to rectify this, the GM put in a race of ethereal-like revenants who could lifesteal as a racial trait, in addition to just being generally tough. Her version of them was like Dracula from Castlevania. My version of them was basically Duke Wintermaul.
She dropped out after he murdered everyone in the previous game (with my barbarian), but the race of Girlfriend Sues remained. I used one on the condition from the GM that I not powergame, which I didn't. I set out to be the extremely tough, but friendly party tank, my agoraphobia centered on the premise that I didn't want someone to pull my helmet off and reveal that I was a backup singer for the Thriller music video.
It wasn't until the GM had to quench his unslakeable thirst for salt that I became a butcher. I like to think that character's still wandering that setting, a blood death knight never making any close friends- they die far too soon and too easily.
>>46665593
this. a treadmill of life and death could make for some awesome shit story-wise in an RP heavy game but I can't imagine honing your skills against a single boss would be interesting for all that long in tabletop.
>>46664934
Do you live in Texas?
>>46666199
>Is there a way to DMPC without becoming THAT DM?
Sure! Your minions, your BBEG? Those are all your DMPCs.
>>46666199
>Is there a way to DMPC without becoming THAT DM?
There used to be a time when PCs having NPC cohorts and hirelings were not only standard, but expected. Having a stronghold with an army and a lieutenant that had PC stats but a few levels lower than you was a fucking class feature for the fighter.
Honestly? Go look at older editions of D&D, use their advice for running cohorts and hirelings, and treat your DMPCs the same way.
>>46665406
Dark Souls D&D wouldn't be that bad as long as the DM let you keep your levels, that way you could eventually take on a boss by learning it's pattern and gaining experience...you know...like Dark Souls.
>>46675400
>Her version of them was like Dracula from Castlevania
So all hers did were stand around shooting fireballs in an easily dodgeable pattern while they constantly got slammed in the face?
>>46664918
I try not to let my /k/ autism seep through on other boards but this shit triggers me on a whole different level.
>>46664918
This is a story about a guy that had been RPing with us for a while but this was before we got sick of him
>13th Age
>Shut up I know but it's better than playing Pathfinder for the umpteenmillionth time
>Playing with a bunch of autists but that's okay cause we're all a little autist and it was bearable
>Except for this one asshole who literally cannot control the volume of his monotone retard voice
>Most of the party are kinda normal guys that are kinda memey in some cases
>That Guy wants his One Unique Thing to be that he's gay
>We're all a bunch of 4chan regulars that aren't exactly politically correct or care about tumblr equality but we all say "That's not unique"
>We tell him this multiple times because he keeps trying to phrase it differently but it's always just "My OUT is I'm gay" and we shut him down
>Eventually decides his OUT is he made really artistic armors and was a semi-renowned Blacksmith
>Yeah sure that's fine, we start the game
>We were a little new to the game aside from myself even though the DM also liked it but he didn't really balance encounters well
>We all get nearly murdered in our first encounter with an Orc Encampment
>That Guy goes "Oh My" like George Takei whenever we get injured or say some banter at each other
>Yes that is the ONLY reason he wanted to be Gay
>Also his character is always gay in every game, not because he's gay but because he's a shithead and thinks that's funny without actually putting effort into his flamboyance
>He spews memes like that constantly, but they're really dated memes from before memes was the term for it
>We get dragged back to a town to recover and plan and do other downtime
>He goes to other people's blacksmiths to ask them if he can borrow it, without offering a cut of his profits for wasting their space
>Gets thrown the fuck out of the blacksmith cause he fails diplomacy super hard, everyone point and laff
>Session ends without any real progress because we got wore out super fast on his shitty memes
>>46664918
>heavy stubber basically an mg42
wut
>Playing pathfinder
>Party of five is a Druid with a wolf companion, a barbarian with a fuck-huge greatsword, a halberd using fighter, a shadow dancer who was invisible 24/7, and a illusionist who spammed SoD spells every combat. (Guess who I was)
>Playing what I thought was a normal game set in the Middle Ages.
>Nope. You're all in a video game world.
>Oh and you all start out at level 12 with the WBL of level 13.
>Game starts and role playing is non-existent.
>Eventually we get tasked with heading to a mega dungeon and clearing it for a million gold.
>First encounter only found because the barbarian rolled a 48 on perception.
>Huge sized treant
>Shadowdancer turns invisible and runs the fuck off, Illusionist tries a SoD and fails, the fighter hits it for 9 piercing damage (treants have DR 10/slashing), the samurai tries to intimidate it, and the barbarian tries to diplomacy it (first in initiative but diplomacy failed).
>Next round barbarian rage charges into a pounce attack and gets three crits, doing nearly 300 damage and killing the thing instantly.
>Party walks through portal and all get hit with 10d6 cold damage no-save from a giant monstrous ice wolf Cerberus.
>Illusionist guy goes second-to-last in initiative
>All the other guys are spending actions to throw buffs on the barbarian so he can hopefully kill the thing on a charge+pounce+full attack.
>Illusionist just pops a SoD that works, encounter over.
>Barbarian nearly smashed the glass orb that dropped from the wolf thing.
>Next encounter started after we found a guy who saw through the Shadowdancer's stealth check of 61 (obviously DMPC).
>Sleeping ice Giants.
>Barbarian runs in and kills one on the first round.
>Druid, illusionist, and Shadowdancer just fling AoE spells at the other ice giant, most of them hitting the barbarian as well.
>Fighter goes in and crits for 26 damage.
>Everyone then decides to stop their high-damage spells and start throwing alchemist's fire, also hit barbarian.
Continue...
>>46664178
Fucking normie get off my board.
>>46680389
>Barbarian and illusionist start bickering back and forth OOC.
>The ice giant is dead but now the fighter and Shadowdancer are also in on the argument.
>Barbarian states he rolls initiative and manages to kill the shadowdancer's strength draining shadow familiar.
>Everything spirals down from there as the party begins killing each other.
>Fighter gets killed by the illusionist's SoD
>Illusionist gets killed by the druid
>Shadowdancer gets hit by the barbarian's cleave attack (crit) and gets knocked out of invisibility and into -1 HP.
>Druid starts calling down lighting and sending the wolf after the barbarian.
>Barbarian gets pretty damaged and manages to kill both the wolf and the downed Shadowdancer.
>Druid blows a couple spells while running to try and down the barbarian.
>Barbarian is at like -5 at this point and is raging like hell, manages to chase down and murder the Druid.
>Druid cast one final damage spell that put the barbarian at -30~ Before getting bisected.
>Barbarian runs out of rage and collapses dead.
>Roll20 game collapses and everyone blocks each other on skype.I was the fighter
>>46666231
I can't fathom the "D&D means the DMs job is to kill the PCs" mentality either. I once played with a guy who literally said "if I don't kill at least one PC per fight then I'm not doing my job as DM." What the fuck.
>>46663628
>Literally
>Literally
>Literally
Jesus Christ shut up
>>46680994
Literally make me
>>46681159plz
>>46664806
>>46664822
>>46664835
>>46664839
>>46664860
>>46664884
>>46664900
>>46664909
>>46664918
>>46664927
>>46664934
Which of the group is posting the dump? It's Desmen here.
As someone who had "pocket shots" tossed at him during the first session, and had to fend off two death-cult assassins Tim swore he had, I can confirm his rank awfulness.
>>46665506
>One guy gets to be the first adventurer in space when the giant throws him away
I lost my sides here
>>46680389
>>46680569
This sounds like the ending ofI Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
>>46682356
Skyrim Space Program is an old joke though
>>46682403
You're an old joke!srry bby u no i luv u
>>46678956
>that way you could eventually take on a boss by learning it's pattern
We already established this means literally nothing in D&D.
>>46664918
>30 round clip
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>46685551
What if they rolled it up like a nailgun coil?
>>46685577
A. They exist.
B. We've even managed to double stack them.
>>46685577
It would also still be a fucking magazine only a retard mixes those fucking terms up.
>>46685577
>>46685707
The joke is that magazines and clips are two entirely different things.
>>46685788
I know. I added the whole magazine bit after the helical magazine post.
Also don't forget clipazines.
Elf vs Dwarf
Can't we just get together?
Pic related as two PCs push the elf/dwarf rivalry too far.
>>46662190
>DMing for friends
>Resident That Guy keeps interrupting me
>Takes five minutes to say one goddamn sentence because of him
>Has the audacity to complain that I take too long to say things
>He doesn't know that for every outburst he has, I raise the DC for any action for him by one point
>Three sessions in, his spot checks have already risen from Very Easy to Nearly Impossible
>The more he 'botches' his rolls, the angrier he gets
>The other players are starting to get tired of him too
>Once he catches wise I could probably kick him out of the campaign and everyone else will support me
>>46688919
It's pretty lame to punish someone by ruining their game like that. I have a similar story.
>Chase scene erupts, I have my own list of chase-events tied to natural rolls.
>That guy and another chase the target for a few rounds, their target manages to avoid some obstacles and so do they.
>People get excited
>Say: "You guys are right on his heels but can't catch him just yet, let me roll again."
>Roll on my table -- they get an event that is quite beneficial to them.
>Suddenly hear excited screaming from that guy, he misunderstood me and thought he was supposed to roll for something. He rolled a 20.
>Explain to him I had to roll for what would happen on my table and that he wasn't supposed to.
>He starts complaining, "but it's a 20".
>After a few seconds of back and forth and others getting pissed I relent and switch the event to the one he rolled for.
>Both chasers fail the event and the target gets away.
>>46688919
You should have at least told him that you were doing that, he might have stopped interrupting you
>>46691526
It was kind of a dick move, and I'd never do it to anyone else, but I feet justified in my actions. He's had multiple warnings from me, starting with me pulling him aside and asking him nicely to stop after games, and eventually moving up to me calling him out on his bullshit in the middle of sessions. This guy either lacks the self-awareness to realize what he's doing is wrong or he's intentionally antagonizing me and the other players.
>>46663628
A magnetic resonance angiogram (MRA) is a type of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan that uses a magnetic field and pulses of radio wave energy to provide pictures of blood vessels inside the body.
so what does mra mean in this context?
>>46662190
>has a vagina
>weighs more than 130 lbs
Need I say more?
>>46663628
>mra
>men's rights activist
How can you be against men's rights?
>chases off girls
Seems like a bro, bitches ruin hobbies
>was mad that /v/ banned Sheckle shoah threads
Good, I met m00t once and called him a cuck to his face for that shit
>>46662190
You know what, disregarding the autistic guy, weirdos bringing a viper into a tavern and having people try to take coins from it sounds like a cool thing that people would do. I'm definitely putting those guys into the next tavern they stay in.
>>46667118
That's the joke
>>46662190
>playing a game with a group of older friends when I was a teen.
>new guy was invited to join our party.
>neat.jpg
>I don't even remember what he ran at this point; I think some kind of vampiric warrior
>session runs fine
>everything is nice and smoothlike
>laughs and fun times were had by all
>get to the end
>XP division
>start dividing things up
>our GM, let's say Brian, tells the new guy that he really dug the character but that he could have played him a bit closer to his proposed concept. Gets a negligible amount less than some of the others, and three of the six of us (minus new guy) level (2e differentials on top of individual xp)
>new guy says cool, and he'll be right back in a second, needs to run to his car
>we keep on with session wrap up
>he comes in
>with a pistol
>everyone's blood runs cold, you can hear the oxygen get sucked out of the room
>more or less a kid, too shit scared to even think, didn't catch the model
>cocks it, and lays it down in front of him
>this was a basement apartment, so you come down the stairs, and then immediately to the left was the hall to the living room, which had like a half-shelf type thing dividing the room to put god-knows-what onto
>new guy cocks the gun
>puts it on the shelf thing
>folds his arms in such a way that they shelter the firearm
>gets Brian's attention
>"I want as much XP as..."
>points at me
>"And you're gonna fuckin' give it to me."
>"Uh-huh, sure man, sorry."
>"Good."
>takes gun back upstairs with him, hear the cardoor shut
>as soon as we're sure he's a block or two away my ride gets me the fuck out of dodge
Never went back. I think dude was ex military and really damaged. Brian never handed out XP/treasure publicly again.
>>46665000
Nice repeating numbers
>>46692901
sounds like a true red blooded american
>>46692901
And that's is why you don't ever play a XP based system.
>>46667593
>Zarashi Hokaido
This isn't a normal Japanese name at all, who names their kid after the north island of Japan? Nobody names their kid Hokaido.
Reminds me of shadowrun story time with that infiltrator named Sekigahara.
>>46663628
this is the fucking autist that that one guy complained about in a that guy thread forever go, then he came here and claimed that the dude who was complaining first was on meth, isn't he?
>>46692901
>shit that never happened: the post
>>46665701
that setting kind of reminds me of final fantasy crystal Chronicles.
Anyone else?
>>46692600
Men Rights Activist.
Made to be a middle finger to feminism by emulating what they do but scratching off "wo" when woma/en pops up or doing shit just to enrage them.
Some idiots donmt realize the fact it was a fucking parody designed to butt befuddled and have actually taken to the teachings and ideologies while tacking on shit to make it seem palatable at first glance.
>>46692767
It's a fine enough concept. But like >>46665237 said, "autistic guy" was actually in the right here.
Just solve it organically. Maybe the patrons running the game are some shady criminal types. Have them confront the druid/mage for winning too much, just like casinos do, and then it becomes a bar brawl.
