How do I pick up sexy Inquistor girls, /tg/?
One arm under the shoulders, the other on the thighs or the crook of the knee. Preferably get them to clasp their hands around your neck.
>>47929930
With your buff man arms, silly.
>>47929930
Step 1: be Ecclesiarchy higher-up
Step 2: receive every possible benefit of political corruption, complete with fanatical yandere fangirls in power armor.
>>47929958
Is that before or after I get accused of being a heretic?
A Hellish (-60) Charm test.
>>47929930
With an abductor-class tractor beam. From orbit.
>>47929930
Oi, git, I haz dis fing ere, can pick anyfing size o'Trukk!
Not like this
>>47930002
Didn't know your mom was an Inquisitor.
>>47929989
>abductor-class tractor beam
sensible chuckle
>>47929958
The combined weight of that all those augs and power armor must be pretty hefty though.
>>47929930
Just be fanatical yet chill at the same time, and do an outstanding job of killing the enemies of Man. Oh and be visibly, but not too obviously aroused by the zealotry of sexy Inquisitorial grills. Do these things, and you'll net yourself an Adrastia type before too long.
>>47930101
Does physical attractiveness play a big role? Because a guy once told me that I had a face only Nurgle could love.
One should be a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, who in person is actually rather humble and self-effacing, when not maintaining the charade.
>>47930161
Well ya, it always does. But if you're well off, I'm sure there's facial reconstruction. If it doesnt work, well, you may be more screwed than Macha in the captivity of Catachans.That is to say, not screwed in the way you want to be.
>>47930264
I do accounting for the Ordo Hereticus. How screwed am I?
>>47930161
>>47930295
Mate.
I've seen men with 90% of their face blasted off with a multi-melta conquer a woman's heart with their intelligence and wit.
If they can get someone to love them, then blokes like you should have no fear of looking bad.Does she even like you? What are her interests, other than purging heretics?
>>47930295
>implying the Ordo Hereticus has any need for keeping track of its expenses
>implying any cost is too great to exterminate heresy wherever it may be found
Filthy heretic
>>47930295
Accounting, or "accounting"?
>>47930295
Eh, pretty bad... Why not just settle for that young savant over there, the one with the magnification glasses? She looks like she hasn't seen a dick in ages, if ever...
>>47930333
So I do have a chance then. Before she was killed by a pack of Orks, Ma did say that I was very handsome and that I had my father's looks. Thanks for the encouragement.
As for your spoiler, of course I think she likes me. I can see her smiling at me below her hat as we cross paths, and her friends gossip loud enough behind her back for me to hear about what she says about me when I'm not around.
Her interests beyond her job? Er, I think she said something about liking Servo Skulls and vox music.
>>47930372
You're the heretic, heretic.
>>47930401
Accounting. Those Thrones don't count themselves.
>>47930408
Ew, no. The girl I'm talking about has it all. I don't need some second-rate Warp-bait on my dick. I need someone strong and independentand sexy.
Why not just being a heretic? SHE'll be the one picking you up.
>>47930101
What if she's a Xanthite?
>>47930546
Ugh, like if I'd forsake the Imperium just to get a girl.
>>47930473
Well if you're just a lowly accountant you're gonna have to do something mad outstanding and awesome. Try volunteering to go on missions where your skills are needed, and work ftom there.
>>47930570
Mmm, might wanna set your sights elsewhere if that be the case.
>>47930653
>Well if you're just a lowly accountant you're gonna have to do something mad outstanding and awesome. Try volunteering to go on missions where your skills are needed, and work ftom there.
Where on Terra or in the known galaxy would they want an account to do field missions? I can barely shoot a Bolter as it is.
>>47930688
Well first thing, no one is going to trust you with a bolter, so I suggest you ask one of her stormtroopers to give you some training with las or stub guns.
As for where your skills are needed, why, higher officials get investigated constantly. She may need you to sneak into their offices to look at their secret ledgers.
Above all don't be such a pussy.
>>47930473
So, she likes pretty normal things.
Now, I think that, first and foremost, you should try to see what places she'd like to visit. Like every person this side of the galaxy, I'm sure she also has her "buttons", shall we say, that you should press. Observe her. Study her. Seek out quirks, and details. It's a thing I learnt in those 300 years as a Magos. And I daresay, the fact that I have a beautiful wife should mean something.
>>47930688
>>47930653
There's no need to do suicide missions. Acolytes are never in short supply, and the poor bastards don't usually need more than one savant per team.
>>47930778
>Magos
>with a wife
I thought you cogboys were above all that emotional attachment stuff. But, what's a battered old stormtrooper know...
>>47930755
>She may need you to sneak into their offices to look at their secret ledgers.
You are seriously overestimating my capabilities.
>Above all don't be such a pussy.
Words to live by, I guess.
>>47930778
>Observe her. Study her. Seek out quirks, and details.
I've been doing that ever since I've met her. Well, at least I've tried to without getting caught. She does a good job of keeping her private life a secret. However, I once snuck into her room and found a postcard from one of those Imperial Luxury Worlds I've heard about. Maybe I should invite her to take a trip with me to one?
> It's a thing I learnt in those 300 years as a Magos. And I daresay, the fact that I have a beautiful wife should mean something.
Aren't you people forced to find a pardner, anyway? It's either that or being sent to a Forge World at the ass-end of the Segmentum Obscurus with all the other betas.
How does Cain do it?
Seriously this guy has probably almost fucked almost every segment of the Imperium.
Including the mechcanicus
>>47929930
One does not pick up sexy inquisitors. One is picked up by sexy inquisitors.
Just be supercompetent at what you do and chances are you'll be pulled for retinue duty.
>>47930978
He's a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM.
>>47930978
By being a genuinely decent man, and one of the only reasonably SANE people in the entire setting.
Well, sane except for his pathological guilt complex.
>>47930893
Overestimating your abilities? I don't know about that, I've seen ordinary citizens do remarkable things. But if you like, I can set you up with a training regimen, bring out some skills you didn't know you were good at.
>>47931109
That sounds like a lot of work. But, I guess I'll give it a try, for her.
>>47931101
I would fucking kill for a book where Cain meets the Eldar.
>>47931185
He does mention that he got captured by Dark Eldar once so it could happen.
>>47931120
Right, I'll let the Armorer know you'll be in tomorrow morning.
>>47930879
That's the Rite Of Pure Thought blokes. Even we think that's extreme. Everyone else is more or less normal. We just lack a few glands, that's all. We can still get attached to people.
>>47930893
That's the workers. And even then, we, like a lot of other Forge Worlds, assign them a partner based on personal preference and possible attraction.
After all, it's easier to get more workers if their parents actually love each other.
>>47931224
Tomorrow morning? I'm not too sure . . .
>>47931232
I can't even begin to imagine how creepy listening to Magos flirting with each other would sound.
>>47931285
Not too sure huh? Well maybe I'll just go seduce her myself then...
>>47931373
As if she'd be interested in a Magos. That's just . . . wrong. Besides, she likes me. I know she likes me.
>>47931285
We're not THAT creepy! After all, some girls like metal.
>>47931400
That's the... wait, is that the stormtrooper? by the Omnissiah, I think I need a full scan now.
>>47931435
>some girls like metal.
Those girls are heretics.
>That's the... wait, is that the stormtrooper? by the Omnissiah, I think I need a full scan now.
No you don't.
Can there be lady stormtroopers?
Or do they all just get sent to the SoB?
>be Inquisitorial Stormtrooper
>9/10 Ordo Xenos Inquisitor has me guarding some records of hers, passes by me almost daily to check the books
>after a few weeks, I work up my courage, take off my helmet and mask, and try to ask her out
>she attacks me, has me quarantined, and has numerous biopsies performed on me
>afterwards puts me back together and apologizes, saying that I was so ugly she assumed that I must have been a genestealer cultist, or an abhorrent ork-human hybrid
>>47931516
Most girls end up being SoBs by default because of the fanatical faith the Schola Progenium is supposed to inspire. But there are always a few female Commissars, Stormtroopers or Arbites. Just not enough GW will ever have to make models for them cough cough.
>>47931400
>>47931435
Uh, yeah I'm the stormtrooper, and if your eyes are that bad I recommend some augmetics before you start any training.
>>47931574
I'm already augmented enough, thank you very much.
>>47931544
How the hell did Nobby Nobbs get to 40k?
>>47931698
Well then, get her to pay for eye surgery. Say you aren't able to read fine print so well.
>>47931763
You know, you guys are real assholes.
>>47931787
Well, so what? It's kind of our job. All I'm trying to do is motivate you. But, then again, maybe what works for us don't work so well for the likes of you. In which case I do have some cookbooks and poetry volumes you can try. We Scions are from nobility, after all...
>>47931851
I don't need poetry, I need to get this Inquistor girl in my bed!
>>47931867
Are you really this much of an ignoramus? This is the equipment you need to get her in there!
>>47931894
More like the equipment to make me look like a douche.
>>47931911
Oh so being well read enough to have a conversation and able to bake treats that ladies like is douchey now, is it?
>>47931985
It's only douchey if you make it seem like your better than everyone else because you can do those things.
>>47932019
Well I'm sorry if I accidentally conveyed that message. I simply meant that these are the sort of things well educated women such as her appreciate, so it can't hurt to aquaint yourself with such things. Has nothing to do with thinking you're better.
>>47932159
Well in that case I guess learning how to cook and write poetry couldn't hurt.
>>47932177
There's a good man. Now go out there and win your woman.
>>47932210
I'll try.
>>47932228
Hell, maybe I'll even talk to her for you. Maybe she's one of those types that likes to seize men like Dark Eldar seize little boys, and just hasn't noticed you yet.
>>47929930
Like this.
More or less, depending on how much of a lolicon you are.
>>47931185
>entire book of Cain out-dicking Eldar dickery through charisma, raw talent, and sheer dumb luck
I have a MIGHTY NEED
>>47930879
There's precedent for it, at least in the Heresy era. Know No Fear had a cog couple.
>>47932776
Ah yes, and Magos Tychon from Priests of Mars had his clone daughter
>>47932588
I want the lower image. For daaw reasons.
>>47929930
very carefully.
>>47932817
>Magos Tychon from Priests of Mars had his clone daughter
Divayth Fyr is 40kanon?
>>47932850
I reckon so. Though to my shame I never played Morrowind.
>>47930978
>>47930978
Even better is that Amberly knows of all his little escapades though the years and she doesnt even care about it
What is this romance? In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only WAR!
>>47932817
It looks like Lutherniel's work.
>>47930048
No problem, Anon, just take her clothes off
Let's be honest - if there was a woman in an Inquisitorial Stormtrooper getup, she'd be ten out of ten.
If it weren't for the fact that 40k was so grimdark, Inquisitorial retinues would be a powderkeg of pent up feelings that would make Slaanesh excited.
>>47932953
>Even better is that Amberly knows of all his little escapades though the years and she doesnt even care about it
Well, they're both high-ranking people whose jobs often prevent them from being together. While they enjoy each other and have feelings for one another, she understands that he's a man who has needs and because of her duty she can't always be there to fill them.
>>47933579
>Let's be honest - if there was a woman in an Inquisitorial Stormtrooper getup, she'd be ten out of ten.
Historic experience shows that skilled female soldiers (actual soldiers, not eyecandy for propaganda photo shoots) strongly tend to be 5 and below, since accomplishment within a strongly nontraditional role has a powerful negative relation to one's hotness - hot chicks have no reason to express themselves through kicking ass, as their ego is usually already oiled well enough by all the attention they get.
>>47933853
Boooooring
>>47933853
>>47933880
>a female Firstborn
Why does FFG need to trigger me so badly, /tg/?
>>47933853
the imperium however cares not for how big your mammaries are, or how pretty and full your lips are; if you're an attractive woman you're more likely to be abducted and raped by slaaneshi cultists than receive a compliment
>>47933918
I always thought Firstborn meant firstborn what ever.
If this was like 2007 you wouldnt have cared as much I can tell you that.
>>47933853
That and the testosterone/HGH combo which helps make them physically superior does not help in the looks department.
>>47933579
>If it weren't for the fact that 40k was so grimdark
yeah man, if water wasn't so wet, it would be so fuckin' dry you wouldn't even know
>>47933985
>mfw I googled dry water and got https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_water
I fucking knew I'd get something like this. SCIENCE HAS GONE TOO FAR
>>47933961
>If this was like 2007 you wouldnt have cared as much I can tell you that.
Holy shit, this is true.
>>47933904
Your fun is badwrongfun, since it is built around a basic animal physiological reaction. As opposed to a slowly developing feelings between a quickly burning out astropath and plainly ugly yet caring inquisitorial stormtrooper women, who both jumped the inquisition opportunity for prestige before catching up with realization that this job is evil and has no exit plan, at which point they ended up in a routine of daily cruelty and apathy, where if they won't care for each other, absolutely nobody else in the entire vast Galaxy will.
>>47933930
>lmao everything sex is slaanesh
one of the hired guns in necromunda was an attractive young woman who was kidnapped and mauled by spryers
40k doesn't need chaos to be dangerous
>>47934040
Dang guy. You sure know how to kick fantasizers right in the tits. You are right though. That's exactly how that would turn out.
>>47934040
Stormtroopers aren't volunteers, anyways. Inquisition ones even less so.
>>47934055
only heretics and xenos scum don't care about chaos corruption's possibility first and foremost, which one are you?
>>47933961
>I always thought Firstborn meant firstborn what ever.
I always pictured Firstborn to have attitudes akin to those of their inspiration source - the Muscovite Streltsy, and those were some STRONGLY traditionalist, superstitious and boisterous folks who were more likely to go
>- A woman? IN MY REGIMENT?!
That any other inspiration source for any other template for any other Guard regiment.
>>47934133
Information about the ruinous powers is heavily restricted, m80. Chaos insurrection doesn't happen every fuckin' day, while hive gangs are populous enough to routinely found entire guard regiments.
>>47934132
>Stormtroopers aren't volunteers
All the mandatory yet elite military organizations IRL still have a major element of choice in them, as good will and eagerness are extremely important qualities for them. Nobody will ever pick you up if you display negative attitude towards their line of work.
>>47934145
I was just saying people didnt start caring about gender until recently
>>47934145
>That any
*than any
>>47934220
Define recently.
It's been ongoing since the 1900s in America.
>>47934220
Well, duh. I pictured my Firstborn as boys-only, and thought that everyone else did the same, so nobody actually cared - there was no discussion to be held and to care about.
>>47934133
C-can I just be regular scum and n-not a h-heretic please?
>>47934241
You know exactly what he meant when he said that. Feminism wasn't a hot topic in popular culture and mainstream media until recently. Doesn't matter if women's suffrage was in 1912, there wasn't nobody talking about that shit in the 90's or early 2000's.
>>47934269
In my headcanon it's a mixed regiment. First born is first born, regardless of bits.
Not like producing an heir matters to the first born, anyway, they're going to the Guard.
>>47934241
4chan in general? I dunno its just hard to explain.
In my eyes the whole meme of female space marines has been super enforced lately which in the past it used to be "It could happen but the girl would look like a guy" it is not only that but other things too. Especially in the media today in my eyes the feminism in the 90s that was REAL feminism not the shit that is going around today.
>>47931731
You need to Google The all Guardsmen Party.
I'm excited for you. I wish I could be reading it for the first time again.
>>47934154
>not being adeptus astartes
>not being both astartes and inquisitor at the S A M E T I M E
>>47934281
All heresy feeds the ruinous powers citizen, be prepared for your punishment.
>>47934241
In gaming. Don't be intentionally obtuse.
You fucking know it wasn't a hotbutton topic comparatively, and all the bullshit about chainmail bikini's was always just snark and not full on SJW retardation.
Just to pretempt it I'm a lefty fucker, but arguing about shit on the internet and being smug and self righteous about retweeting something instead of doing actual boots on the ground activism is fucking gay. So SJWs are ruining it for the left too.
>>47934349
>be prepared for your punishment.
Great time to go hide out with the muties in the underhivejust like in real life
feelsbadman.jpg
>>47934213
>IRL
This is 40k meatbag. Anyone who denies working for an Inquisitor upon request will be shot by said Inquisitor, have his record stripped of all accomplishments, and have his family back home told he committed suicide because he was a god damn coward and they have to pay for the corpse transportation and funeral costs. Since transportation was via spaceship this will bury them in debt they will not pay off for another ten generations.
Inquisitors is dicks.
>>47934241
Where I live, it stopped going in the 1900s. Soviet law defined women as legally equal to men in every way except for the military service responsibility, and defined any non-legal differences as fundamentally irrelevant within the context of society and it's regulations (as opposed to the private sphere). And what happened to those who disagreed with the Soviet law became the inspiration for geedubs for what happened to those who disagree with the Imperial one, so, you know.
So now century later all this discourse you fellows have looks really damn weird from across the pond.
>>47934399
Because American women are weak and need men to give them respect instead of respecting themselves. And to compete for them, instead of competing against them.
Russian women will fuck your client to take them away, then fuck your boss to get your job and justify it as being more valuable since they have all your clients.
And there's nothing wrong with that. You use what you got.
>>47933918
Vostroyan lore has always been the following:
All Vostroyan firstborn sons are to be given to the Imperial Guard to fight for the Emperor, as is right and proper.
Second-born and below sons and daughters may always volunteer to fight. They are all held to the exact same standard, with no differentiation between male and female, and there is a small yet noticeable number of female Vostroyan soldiers in auxiliary roles, such as medicae and logistics. These women, as they have undergone all the same trials and disciplines of the men, are a source of fierce unit pride, because only a Vostroyan woman is capable of earning her place besides a Vostroyan man.
>>47934213
>All the mandatory yet elite military organizations IRL
okay?
the schola isn't a volunteer thing
it's essentially forced conscription and brainwashing of noble orphans
this fluff is likely older than you are
>>47934375
>
This is 40k meatbag. Anyone who denies working for an Inquisitor upon request will be shot by said Inquisitor, have his record stripped of all accomplishments, and have his family back home told he committed suicide because he was a god damn coward and they have to pay for the corpse transportation and funeral costs
Nah. Inquisitors take a look at a trooper's dossier, and also hold an interview before taking them on board. It's perfectly understandable for even a very competent soldier to have moral qualms with Inquisitorial service, and forcing everyone to hide them will only lead to Inquisitorial retinues filling up with soldiers who can't morally handle their jobs and hurt the overall performance of the Inquisition.
>b-but it's 40k everything has to be grimdork and retarded
It's the Inquisition. They can skip the rules, even their own ones. Also I want the grimdork meme to die.
>>47934399
If I may explain a little; in America, just because we don't talk about something doesn't mean we don't care about it. At any time in the past, we always cared about the issues of women in the military or homosexuality. But in those days, and even up to the last decade, it wasn't talked about because most people were in agreement about those issues. They thought such things were preposterous. But little by little, the other side used the media to slowly change peoples' minds, and it was when enough minds were changed that the issues were brought out and pushed for, because now they had something to get traction with. And now look where we are.
>>47931185
He got captured by the DEldar before & has mentioned to have faced Eldar before.
>>47934532
>Nah. Inquisitors take a look at a trooper's dossier, and also hold an interview before taking them on board.
STORMTROOPERS are not regular troopers, m8. It's not some job interview.
The ones manning inquisitorial fortresses, black ships, and in the retinues? The guys that look like >>47933579?
Those are pulled from the top percentile of the schola graduates, with regards to mental fortitude. Because the shit they're going to see is not going to leave them.
>It's the Inquisition. They can skip the rules, even their own ones.
that doesn't change what stormtroopers are, m890
>>47934504
>the schola isn't a volunteer thing
Inquisitorial retinue is not the Schola. Inquisitors pick up what they like on their own conditions, Schola and the Imperial law itself have no final word in it - Inquisitors are above them both.
>>47934496
>Russian women will fuck your client to take them away, then fuck your boss to get your job and justify it as being more valuable since they have all your clients.
So very damn true.
>>47931544
I wonder if Amberley could pass off as Samus Aran.
>>47934589
>Inquisitorial retinue is not the Schola.
100% of stormtroopers come from the schola. You can't flash a rosette and turn rando guardsmen into them.
>>47934532
>Moral Qualms
>With the Inquisition
An Inquisitor is going to look at dossier, say he wants a man because he thinks he can handle it, and he will be reassigned. The Guardsman does not having a fucking say in this, he is a soldier in the most brutal meat grinder of an army in the galaxy and isn't even expected to live through whatever tour the Inquisitor puts him on.
What fucking Inquisitor is going to take "No" from some chucklefuck and risk having all his underlings and rest of the chain of command in that regiment questioning him now because they think they'll live through it?
>>47934532
>>b-but it's 40k everything has to be grimdork and retarded
Yes. That's kinda the point.
>>47930048
Lift with your knees, manlet.
>>47934343
This
>>47934676
you'd be in trouble if she was a bolter, though. Humans can't carry them without augmentation :^)
>>47934563
It's the tipsy-toeing around the subject that looks crazy from down here. The way your "gender issues" are never actually discussed on your media, but always >implied with a set of actions demanded based on that >implication. The "how do we defeat racism/sexism?" discussion without setting a clear context of what is that which must be obliterated and what is the eventual goal to be achieved. The whole "It's (insert_current_year) amirite" routine.
I can understand an oppressed group's struggle for equality - "Our Constitution/ideology/needs demand X for Y -> this law/regulation Z allows/prevents Y from having X -> instill/remove Z or else", but this current shit doesn't seem a struggle at all - it looks like showbiz first, attention hoarding second, and struggle - last.
>>47934718
Also janitors GTFO we're having international cultural exchange here.
>>47934718
Its just a fucking mess up here a very us or them mentality on both sides while most with a centrist point of view are caught in the middle of this shit
>>47934782
I used to be centrist but these days I'm slowly starting to wish the imperium of man were our reality
>>47934627
>You can't flash a rosette and turn rando guardsmen into them
I'm rather certain they can.
>>47934637
>>47934588
Good thing that the original post was specifically about retinue members, and not about grunts chilling their asses in inquisitorial fortress on Bumfukcos Prime (Sect. Beavertonilus, OBCS) .
>>47934718
It's all a way of trying to make reform without revolution. England did this the same way in the 19th century. Because when you do it this way, without a violent and overt revolution, your opposition hasn't as much room to fight back.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm very much against all that is going on. It's underhanded what they're doing here. Downright devious. They tiptoe around to make their damned reforms because they know we're going to use all our guns to shoot em dead if they start doing things more strongly. This is what their screeching for gun control is all about, because as long as we are armed, they can't just do what want. But mark my words, the day may be coming soon where we have us another civil war, and that is when thing will truly be decided.
Hope that illuminates things for you, slavbro.
>>47934808
>tfw Emperor wont reveal himself anytime soon
>Wont get to become Thunder Warriors
>wont be part of the crusade to unify tera
>wont get to apart of the great crusade
>wont be able to live in a time of great science and technology before shit hits the fan
>wont be able to ride a sick jet bike
>wont be able to fight with future Alexander the Great
>>47934808
Yeah. The time for centrism is about gone. It's time for everybody to pick a side.
>>47934875
we need to stop waiting for our emperor; and become our emperors. Someone's gotta do it- criteria for becoming emps aside fromSpace Magic-
Cultured
Intelligent
Strong
Tactically minded
Greco-roman aesthetics/a fondness for such
Charismatic
we just need to start working out, practice public speaking, read up on history, and make our future for ourselves.
With right wing nationalist groups cropping up in europe faster and faster, it's kind of approaching the perfect time to become the emperor
>>47934808
...you do realize the Imperium is monstrously oppressive, right?
>>47934965
I stopped caring about personal liberty.
>>47934957
Hear hear. And when an irl Emperor emerges, all of us must be ready to put aside our own ambitions and follow him.
>>47934982
Then how can you object to anything the people in power do?
>>47934984
Mhm; be as the emperor is, but do not usurp the emperor. It's time for us to start hitting gyms, firing ranges, practice HEMA, study. We need to be the apex human beings.
>>47934871
Thank you for your time. It's always interesting to hear something about the things going on over the river not from the barricades of informational "warfare" that most vocal sources are so preoccupied with.
>>47934957
Putin checks out 5/6. We gotta make a clone of him and teach him to speak in anything other than cold half-whisper.
>>47934996
I'm not entirely nihilistic, and I do care about what legacy mankind creates for it's self; there are things that are sacred to me, history, the arts, philosophy, objective truth- and a lot of these are under threat by revisionists on both sides. We as a species need unity and a good vision. The shunning of the will to power isn't gonna help us as a species as time moves on.
>>47934996
Because we object to retardation of government even more.
>>47934965
Oh don't worry - you'll get used to it.
>>47934996
It's about the belief - the feeling of belonging in a vast collective that works for a dream that you and others have faith in. Something both of our kinds had during the Cold War, but which seemingly dissipated in the last decades, replaced with decadence of well fed people.
>>47935023
You are most welcome tovarisch. Tell anyone who will listen what I've just told you.
As for Putin, it will be good to see him take charge of his sphere of power, that Russia might be balanced with America under a good leader. And not balanced as enemies, but as friends and partners in keeping order in the world.
>>47935013
>be as the Emperor is
>but do not usurp the Emperor
Sounds mighty familiar...
>>47935103
You understand.
>>47933961
>if this was like 2007 you wouldn't have cared as much
Very true. Back then everyone was making guardswoman waifus. It kind of sucks what popular culture turns sour.
But anyway, my headcanon was that there would be a few times where a firstborn wouldn't be inducted - a machine accident renders them unable to fight, or they die, or they turn out to be mutated, or something along those lines. So a secondborn son or daughter is given up instead, because a tithe is still owed.
If the firstborn is a daughter, well, chuck them in.
Who needs inquisitor girls when you're a black templar and are rolling in sororitas pussy
>>47934965
At least everything makes horrible sense and is rigidly defined into 'heresy' and 'not heresy.'
>>47937111
I'm a Dark Angel. I can't get close enough to anyone to say hello. Either my commanders won't let me for reasons they won't let me understand, or soldiers that should be our allies will go out of their way to avoid us based on reputation that I don't understand us having earned. Are we not the First Legion, one of the most honored chapters? Is not our record of victories long? Then why am I hated and ignored?
I'm very confused, all the time. My superiors tell me that we are the best of humanity, the hammer of the Emperor, but I and my brothers are constantly kept from the fight while the Deathwing takes the glory. We are told that we are honored heroes, but I have gained no honors from any other than my own leaders, no word of thanks for those we have spent centuries protecting, and it has been so long since I've been truly human that I cannot remember why they might fear me. I am not sure the Emperor loves me, or that the Lion does not hate me. The truth seems so insubstantial.
>>47937624
Good post, battle-brother.
>>47932953
She does, but she's just a bit passive aggressive about it rather than full purge mode.
>>47929930
Not sure
If you want them to start picking you up though, carve a Chaos Undivided symbol on your forhead and wait
>>47937624
It'll make sense one, brother. Life is like the tales we tell you.
>>47937624
That's strange. I've had to defend our forge some 150 years ago, and we received aid from a DA strike force. I talked with some of them, they were likeable people. Well-spoken and funny, too. I must say, the leaders looked a bit paranoid, but other than that, I have no idea why they avoid you.
>>47929930
Don't.
>>47939378
Ahem.
>>47939430
Call
>>47937624
>hammer of the emperor
The adeptus astartes are no such thing (unless you're the grey knights: "I am the hammer)! That is the imperial guard, as astartes we are the emperors scalpel, the dark angels are a hidden hand, a scalpel that strikes with quick precision from the shadows before returning to the shadows, arriving unknown to everyone and then leaving unknown like they arrived. Now, I am a marshal of the black templars named osmund and I can tell you why my chapter hates you. You fuckers teamkilled your cousin astartes, my brothers, at the ophidium gulf out of paranoia that my late brothers may have learned about one of your dirty secrets, when we filed a complaint to the inquisition, an organization we equally hate for being beurocratic humans who think they can orders us, we who serve the emperor directly only, by our unending, and sacred mission. But we had no choice but to confide in them as we wanted answers, and retribuiton, answers though the inquisition also wanted, so they dispatched an inquisitor to investigate and it wasn't long before that inquisitor disappeared, just like our brothers at the gulf, helbrecht was furious and let us, the marshals know that he had not forgotten nor forgiven the gulf, and that he blamed the dark angels, whom we now regard with extreme suspicion at best, you complained about how you no longer feel human, your chapter has lost its humanity to serve clandestine, heretical, and shameful agenda, while my chapter has lost its humanity to better serve the emperor, your chapter is amongst the sharpest, and the hidden scalpel, mine is the scalpel used most by the emperor, the one who has spilled the most blood and has been damaged by restless duty. My chapter serves the emperor fanatically, your chapter claims to serve the emperor unless it involves one of your dirty secrets or fighting with the space wolves about whose primarch is the most furtastic.
>>47940837
Are you sure you're not an Imperial Fist because that is just a damn wall of text.
>>47930978
Oh man! He is so smug it's almost heretical!
>>47940907
Lmao, sometimes, I love the fists but my blood runs hot with the inferno of faith in the god emperor of mankind
>>47937111
This x100. Trips confirm.
>>47933961
>Firstborn meant firstborn what ever
That's the case in my country since time immemorial.
e.g before the Spanish.
Just be yourself :^)
>>47940837
To be fair it's not confirmed if the Dark Angels actually did anything or not.
It's one of the little things that I'm glad GW hasn't confirmed one way or another yet, but it seems like the upcoming Deathwing game is going to shed some light on it and make them good guys.
>>47944923
Of course they are the good guys - Black Templars in question were dressed-up Alpha. they saved the BT from a treachery of epic proportions. Helbrecht wouldn't know corruption in his chapter if they started building pillars of skulls and covering the corridors of Eternal Crusader with "Hydra Dominatus" graffiti.
>>47945035
Pfft. But seriously, I think it's gonna turn out they got sucked into a Space Hulk and genestealers overran them or something.
I mean, I would be fine with Dark Angels just being dicks, but it feels like now the lore keeps bending backwards to make sure they weren't really at fault for anything bad.
>>47931232
There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.
There is no strength in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh but death.
>0100011001101001011011000111010001101000011110010010000001101000011001010111010001100101011100100110111101100100011011110111100000101110
>>47939378
>funny
...Do you recall the names and ranks of these Marines?
>>47929930
They're not real. They don't exist.
>>47946764
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>>47947035
Unfortunately, no. They were the most devout servants of the Emperor I've ever seen. Jolly good people. There was also a chaplain, quite a good chap.
>>47947139
You may say, it is impossible for a man to become like the Machine. And I would reply, that only the smallest mind strives to comprehend its limits.
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>>47947139
How unfortunate. I was going to give them their, ah, just reward for their levity.
Remember you their Company, at least?
>>47947399
You know, I think the company had a bit of a track record...
>>47947139
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>>47929930
Slaaneshi love potion what else?
>>47929930
Are you a Commissar?
>>47949988
What, do Inquisitors like commissars? I don't see why you'd be concerned otherwise - I mean, it's not like the Commissar would be able to shoot an Inquisitor.
>>47951302
A reference to Amberley Veil, an inquisitor who received many hot commissar dickings
>>47945035
>>47945092
It's all dark angel propaganda by the inner circle, the dark angels are heretics and their fans are unbridled faggots
>>47929930
>TFW you're dating a slender goth with a great ass who is all about the inquisition.
>TFW you roleplay a daemonhost of Slaanesh in bed.
>TFW she loves her little inquisitor being degraded.
You know, my life's not great, but there are some parts of it I really enjoy.
>>47947399
First Company, all Terminators. I still have no idea what on Terra they needed to do after helping us, but ehh. They're Marines, no need to ask questions.
>>47951467
Fucking lucky fuck
>>47951467
>40k sex roleplay
>>47951403
To be fair it was one of the best Commissar dickings the Imperium has to offer.
It is rumored that his skills with the Chainsword and Laspistol is only rivaled by this Dick fucking technic.
>>47929930
>be heretic
>sexy Inquisitors work hard to find you
>fight to spend your last moments looking into your eyes
>>47956001
But anon, they might just Exterminatus you without getting close.
