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>>47509533
>Joined game
>3.5
>DM wants rolled stats
>Everyone somehow has almost every stat over 15
>DM wants us to do standard class gold rolling
>somehow people have thousands of gold
>DM wants no homebrew races
>people do homebrew races
>Elf/Dragon, Slime girl, ect.
>DM allows all of this
There's more to this story if anyones interested
>>47512610
I'm willing to see a couple more posts to see if it actually gets interesting
>>47512643
For the most part it was more frustrating then anything, but for you I shall continue. Maybe in I rewind abit.
>See game posted
>Actually have had alot of luck finding good groups on roll20
>Replies to post
>Almost no character creation info given on post
>ask DM about character creation rules
>"Roll stats (never asked for proof, literally was ok with people rolling them irl and just jotting down the results) and core source materials only"
>K
>Roll monk, never played before
>Other classes post mythweavers character sheets
>Looks at other's characters to see what the group will be like
>Everyones stats are over 15
>K
>Self is only standard fantasy race
>Other players consist of a elf/dragon "herm", a slime girl, and two others I cant remember
>k
>roll human monk
>Game day
>Expect DM to call everyone out on their obvious bullshit
>Doesn't
>Le start game
>>47509533
Player characters always have stupid fuckoff names with like zeds in them and shit
>>47512610
>3.5
You deserve all your troubles
>>47512738
>Start game
>Tavern trope
>I'm ok with this
>Elf/dragon herm is eatting a whole cow
>slime girl is pointing out how large her boobs are
>i'm not so ok anymore
>Guard comes into tavern
>"Whole town is under attack by orcs"
>Elf/dragon herm calls guard a lier
>doesn't want to help
>Slime girl doesn't care either
>I go with other two to help
>ALOT of general interfighting between DM and some of the players over the use of some varient rules that are stated in the core rule books
>DM tones down the orcs because herm and slimy doesn't want to help
>Kill orcs
>"yaaaayyy" with almost no hope that things will get better
>Guards go to pay the three of us for helping town
>Herm gets butthurt, demands reward also
>DM "You didn't help so no gold for you"
>herm throws a fit
>attacks guards
>Dies
>leaves the group
At this point i couldn't take anymore and just decided to quietly leave the group. All in all, i was expecting to have fun and instead felt alienated
>>47512738
>Elf/Dragon Hermaphrodite
>Blatant Futashit
>>47512738
>playing with random people on Roll20
>>47513023
>>47512868
I deserve that, I truly do. I had faith in the goodness of people. I was wrong.
>>47512898
Awesome filename
>>47509533
>See a post for Barbarians of Lemuria
>Cool. Never played before
>It starts off pretty fun
>GM had to end game after third session for some reason
>See post for M&M
>Cool. Never played before
>Starts of pretty fun
>During second session, GM never shows up to the call
>Doesn't respond to private messages
>Guess the game has ended
>See post for V:tM
>Cool. Never played before
>GM realizes she has overbooked
>Puts campaign on hiatus before first session starts
>Never see another post for it
That's the only real horror I've seen. But boy do I see it often.
>>47513411
this is tragically very common
>>47509533
I've never had worse than a flake off of roll20 randoms, but I never accept more than one random at a time.
>>47513023
>>47512738
>>47512610
>>47513411
>>47516960
Man I HATE RANDOMS!! Worse than normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
but then I don't have any friends so I always end up playing rpg solo :-(
>>47509533
This is less about the community there and more of my problem with the technical side of the site. A bunch of my friends and I all live far apart now but we still try to play some RPGs online and Roll20 is the best tool we know of so I've got to keep using it.
Anyway I'm pretty sure the site has a vendetta against me because all of my friends will testify that the RNG on that site has fucked me up the ass with a ten foot pull covered in razor wire.
In Dark Heresy I had my gun jam three times in a row, and missed every shot I fired that day. Hell just a couple days ago we started a new D&D game and I roll a 1 for how much HP I have. I thought "okay next level this has to even out" and I get another 1. when we get to level 3 it's a 1 yet again. In the first session with that character I had 2 miscasts, and because I had one HP both times I was knocked out before I even participated in the fight.
FUCK THAT SITES RNG.
>Join pathfinder game
>It clearly states "Text only"
>Say they need someone to fulfill rogue duty
>Roll up alchemist which is pretty decent at this job
>Game starts
>People use skype to do everything
>Bitches at me for not using voice
>GM makes up rules on the fly despite us talking in advance about the inclusion of homebrew or 3pp and his answer was a very clear no
>Group is fucking huge (8 people in a 4 player game)
>One of them is an annoying attention whore that constantly screams on mic about how much of a nerd she is
>Holy-pain archetype Tiefling paladin is adversarial to the party and white knights except the whore whom she white knights consistently
>Party constantly accuses me of being evil (never cast spells with evil descriptor and never do anything close to evil) with the paladin hot on my ass 24/7
>His personal healbot cleric sticks to him to the point of impeding combat by taking up tactically advantageous positions
>Everyone is a murder hobo with the paladin serving as the "leader" and "moral compass" of the group
>Paladin literally slaughters a room full of incapacitated and sick bandits
>Druid who follows fey religion ambushes and murders TN~CG fey without even giving them a chance to talk
>The GM does nothing to punish this
>Party still constantly accuses my character of being evil and refuses to cooperate with me
Doesnt end there chaps
>Witch has access to brew potion
>I ask for guidance (infinitely reusable 0th level spell) whenever I make disable device checks
>At first he gives it freely but he laters offers to sell me potions at market price
>He also refuses to cast heal whenever I roll bad on disable device and instead offers to sell me healing potions at fucking market price
>Reach first town
>Group refuses to give me a share of the loot
>LFG listings
>mic only as far as the eye can see
Truly horrifying.
>>47512884
>At this point i couldn't take anymore and just decided to quietly leave the group. All in all, i was expecting to have fun and instead felt alienated
This is the problem with online gaming in general.
>join 5e game, first ever D&D game
>DM would rather be running 3.5 and lets us know quite often
>German player dropped out for no reason I could tell, and deleted the game from R20
>British teen who's quite nice, no complaints about him
>me, who has to speak loudly because of a crappy microphone and often sounds angry as a result
and then there's the TG guy
>playing an Aarakocra, gets invested in an orphan child and complains that his character has no reason to be with the rest of the party
>after the game got deleted and we started a new one, he decides to play as a centaur based on Dmitrys art(shemale porn artist)
>gets really emotional, cried because we killed someone under mind-control
>wanted to be evil and betray the party since the centaur has an oath of vengeance against the whole world (talked him out of it and into something more playable)
>says he loves the game but seems like he's ready to drop at any moment
>general TG drama/emotional stuff
>>47518289
The fuck?
These are nightmares. I'm trying to imagine what these sessions would be like if for some reason they took place in someone's home at their table.
>>47518268
I should also mention for that character that ended up with 1 HP. I rolled all my number online initially as well. My highest number was an 11 and everything else was complete shit rolls. If I was forced to keep them than I would be legally blind, slow as a snail, weak as a starved child, and about as charming as a sewer rat's asshole. GM looked and that and said to use something else if it's shitting on me this much for character stats. Rolled with actual dice and got okay rolls.
I'm dead serious about all this. If you want I could get a friend of mine to testify to this tomorrow if this thread is still live. Has anyone else ever had RNG hate them this much? I can get nothing but bad rolls when I use Roll20.
>>47518407
Cunts.
Don't you people have good stories for once? I really want to get into D&D but reading stuff like that breaks my morale.
>>47518939
Just got home from DMing Curse of Strahd. The party is in Vallaki, just split up, and only moved the plot forward a single night. Having an absolutely excellent time, but oftentimes that's not as good of a story as complaining about shit.
>>47518985
But it'd do wonder for my morale if people were posting epic or hilarious shit, because to an onlooker, it really feels like every game is plagued with attention whores, edgy retards, faggots, foreigners, mexicans, republicans and real-life satanists.
>>47519016
>epic or hilarious shit
The problem is, what you find epic or hilarious a lot of people will just think is stupid. Rage is universal.
>>47519016
Play with your friends, anon, they're people you want to share the room with to begin with.
Unless they're attention whores, edgy retards, faggots, foreigners, mexicans, republicans or real-life satanists, of course.
>>47513411
>first time trying out online game session with people from /tg/
>a couple of people instantly flake and aren't paying attention
>dm has to leave and says he'll message us to see when we can play again
>never hear from him again
Good bye Orc with 18/something strength and like 4 int.
>>47519016
Because every game is but sometimes it's fun.
>>47519036
Dunno, I remember a pasta of three martial artists trying to fight each other and only fumbling every roll, essentially knocking themselves out.
>>47519072
>Play with your friends
WHY DO YOU REMIND ME OF THE SAD TRUTH THAT MY FRIENDS ONLY PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND DON'T PLAY TABLETOP GAMES
>>47519092
Have you ever tried to make them try tabletop?
>>47517350
I'll be your friend anon>insert trap picture here
>>47518371
>the that guy guy
hue
>>47519016
>game horror stories thread
>"Why aren't people posting nice/happy stories?"
It's a mystery I guess.
>>47518289
You left that group, I hope?
>>47518939
Here is a tip: don't play D&D.
Just kidding: if you want to play it, go for it. Just know that on Roll20 you will have to wade through a lot of shit before you find a good, stable group.
I'm thinking of trying to get into some voice-based roll20 games to brush up my spoken english.
(I'm ESL and while I have ample opportunity to write in it, I haven't spoken it aloud since highschool.)
How hard would I be running the risk of getting booted for sucking?
>>47518939
Playing with randoms is very much alike to sifting a mud river for gold nuggets.
Though if you want more positive stories, you'd get more fish by starting your own thread here.
>>47518362
When you pander to the minority you alienate the majority.
>>47519563
That depends on the people you're playing with.
In my group, I don't think we would boot someone because they can't speak english as good as we can...
Only complaint I've had is with the "R"NG of Roll20. Almost every roll I make has a 1 in it somewhere. It's a running joke to sing "Are You Ready For A Miracle" because I make fumble points rain down when I roll.
>>47509533
Some people were faggots and I joined a different group.
Doesn't get more horrible han that on roll20 realy, for players at least.
Just don't ever apply to a game that neither provides setting information nor asks you to put some effort into writing an application.
If the GM care's enough to put 5 minutes into writing something up he'll put in the effort to kick out autists. And after a while, if you're cool(like myself)You'll know a bunch of cool players and GMs so you won't have to rely on randoms.
>>47519545
Just like Left 4 Dead, Vermintide, and every coop game ever.
>>47513411
I'm that GM and I hope I get run over by a Truck for it sometime.
On the other hand my games were shit anyway.
>Join OW game
>Fun, goofy premise
>GM like to smash the horrors of war, levity of invasion, boredom of soldiering and ludicrous nature of Imperial Guard together to make some damn fine comedy
>First session there's technical difficulties
>Second and third run just fine
>Fourth session rolls around and GM doesn't show
>Doesn't reply to any messages
>Next week find out he's in hospital after a psychotic episode
>The rest of the group stops responding
>They're so used to GMs flaking that they just move on immediately
>tfw I really wanted to play with those guys
>>47509533
One time, the party had to make three 2d6 rolls for something. We all rolled the same thing (3,3), which if put together looked like 666.
We TPKd that session.
>>47509533
>GM asks for long ass backstory and claims he's going to integrate it to the plot
>Claims his campaign is going to be of epic fucking proportions
>Comply hoping for the best
>He barely touches on it and forgets about it soon enough
>Ask about setting
>Says its set in default 3.5 setting
>"You mean faerun?"
>"Yeah that one"
>Ok lets make my character a survivor of the spellplague
>His Quest npc is fucking professor X in everything but name and wants me to join his x men
>"Ok in exchange for joining me I'll cure your spellplague"
>Should have stopped right there but decide to keep going
>Takes me to a fucking different dimension and everything is quickly forgotten
>Other quest npc claims he's from my world
>"Oh where from?"
>"Varisia"
>Calls me countryman
>Countryman from a different fucking setting altogether
I joined a game and the DM was just not very good. The 4 players all just left and one of them turned out to be a DM with a bit of experience. We've now run 2 very successful sessions, everybody gets along well, and we actually roleplay together pretty nicely.
Weirdest part is I saved a young girl and we're escorting her home, she really likes my character, and the female characters keep insinuating inappropriate things.
I don't care though, I get to be some little girl's hero. i'm okay with that.
>>47519879
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
One of my players lives in Canada's version of the booinies. I'll let you guys imagine how terrible his internet connection is.
>>47519925
Why would connection quality fucking matter when the game isnt in reaction based?
You can probably have 1500 ping and still play roll20 games well enough.
>>47519879
otp, im jelly man
>>47519769
Pretty much, yeah.
>>47519866
>GM asks for long ass backstory and claims he's going to integrate it to the plot
You should've dropped out there
>>47519942
Well for starters it matters for voice chat if they're using it.
Second, totalshit internet would also have constant disconnects, which could run for minutes before restoring and then drop again soon after.
>>47519879
Our bard would've asked how old the girl is, then hit on her regardless of the answer. And then our party would've punched him. A lot.
I dont usually green text, so sorry if the writing is off
part 1
>Join Mutants and Masterminds game
>GM asks for a one on one interview before game 0
>interview is cool, me and him talk about GURPS for bit
>cut to game 0 to build characters and what not
>i accidentally show up 30 minutes late because i misunderstood when it began
>i apologize and GM says its cool, just try and be on time next time
>say "okay"
>one guy in the group is tapping on a practice drum pad
>i've done some drumming, so i know they're mostly done to practice drum speed and timing and arent actually instruments
>Guy stops tapping and asks everyone "so what did you think?" as though he played a song
>this strkes me as odd, but i forget about it
>everyone says "oh it was good to be polite"
>we start discussing out characters
>its a fairly serious campaign, not grim dark or anything but not goofy
>All characters are as based in reality, and their powers are pretty straight forward
>turning into bugs, creating matter, mech suit, etc.
>Then drummer boy tells us of his character
>all he says, and all i am ever told of this character is "He can turn into a plane"
>im reminded of the one maid RPG green text and the moped guy, so i think its alright
>he then explains that, for 'balancing reasons' it doesnt look looks 100% like a plane
>when questioned on what it does look like, he says "Like pixar's Planes"
>one person in group says he shouldnt, since its much too cartoony and silly for this campaign
>everyone agrees
>he says "Well, not EXACTLY like pixar"
>posts pic related saying "looks more like that!"
>everyone is still against it
>we throw ideas on how it could fit better
>he refuses
>this continues for, i shit you not, 40 minutes
>he starts getting really defensive
>says this character is really special from him
>says its special because he's been planning the character for months, just needed the group
>and he cant tell us the second reason because of "Legal reasons"
>>47520160
You know I've never played with that bard. The one in the game I'm running is a bard/warblade who acts like a paladin. The one in this game is more of a con artist and probably sees sex as a tool, not a high score.
>>47520211
I'm not even sure of what to make of that ending.
>>47520211
Woow man.
Did you ask the GM how the fuck did that guy get through pre-game interview?
>>47520321
Oh definitely. I'm talking about the gambling, drinking and womanizing failure of a bard that is playing in our group.
>>47520211
>>47520342
never occurred to me, although during mine the GM mostly asked if i would always be on time, he seemed very big on punctuality. I left that group not long ago though after he chewed me out for not being able to be there on mother's day.
part 2
>at this time i am about 70% sure he snuck onto a military based and started fucking a jet
>we drop the whole thing and decide to move on and cover his character later since it was getting nowhere
>he's acting defensive and passivle agressive the whole time
>stopping the conversation to mention how a car almost hit him that day for no reason
>he also keeps slipping mexian words into his speech, weeaboo style
>he doesnt sound very mexican by his voice though
I'll it was possible he was mexican, just didnt sound it.
>we all have teh basics of what our characters are, and leave still not having resolved the plane man's character
>session 1 hits, and plane man is not there
>Gm tells me that he had to drop him, as he was kinds weird and wasnt cooperating.
>also find out, that originally his character wasnt a person who turned into a plane, but an anthro plane that came from an anthro plane universe howard the duck style until the GM talked him out of it
>later i decide to do some snooping based on the plane picture he sent
>find out the artist and website it came from
>holyshitno.png
>Its all miltary vehicle porn
>pages and pages of it
>men and women being fucked and fucking vehicles that arent even really anthro.
>now 100% sure that he snuck onto a military base and fucked a jet
>they're called Dire Machines for anyone interested
>i look at every image, not for any sexual pleasure, but out of morbid curosity
>flash forward awhile
>im browsing roll20 open games
>decide to look for pathfinder, i dont like the system but always wanted to play an alchemist so fuck it
>see an open game
>the GM was plane man
i ultimately decided not to join the game, although i was very tempted
>>47520211
>says its special because he's been planning the character for months, just needed the group
That's always a huge red flag.
>>47520391
>also find out, that originally his character wasnt a person who turned into a plane, but an anthro plane that came from an anthro plane universe howard the duck style until the GM talked him out of it
That's more redflagging than a parade in China.
>later i decide to do some snooping based on the plane picture he sent
iknowwherethisisgoing.jpg
>>the GM was plane man
>i ultimately decided not to join the game, although i was very tempted
You should've played an anthro chemsprayer!
>>47520391
>men and women being fucked and fucking vehicles that arent even really anthro
what
>>47520391
tell me you have a link to that site.
>>47520458
>>47520458
I've seen some of it in threads on /d/, flerg.
>>47520458
>>47520460http://www.titanatelier.com/go to the art tab, and then the original section
>>47520391
>they're called Dire Machines for anyone interested
Damn, I wanna play a Dire Warforged now.
>>47520458
Do you see those mechatentacles in >>47520211 that the plane is using to hold onto the girl's waist.
Imagine what else those do.
>>47520490
Silly anon, those tentacles arent for that!
oh sure they can be used for that, but its not the main purpose!
here's a diagram to help
>>47520391
Oh fuck, a part 2.
>my face the entire time
>>47520508
>Gee-Forces
This annoys me the most.
>>47520471
Jesus fucking christ, anon.
>>47520508
Oh, Gieger was into plane porn?
>>47520508
That picture was really cool, i like Bots and nanomachines etc
but then
>Probe (penis)
>Port (vagina)
FUCK NOOOOOO
>>47520562
>>Probe (penis)
>>Port (vagina)
>FUCK NOOOOOO
UP TO THREE OF EACH PER PLANE
>>47520580
Not just planes
>>47520593
Cannot unsee...
I will have nightmares about this now...
>>47520508
>>47520593
>>47520471i am getting turned on by this
>>47520658
Well, what did you roll on your resist fetish saving throw?
>>47520730crit fail
>>47520593
>Do not attack them, as they are likely to respond with aggression
Use enough gun and they won't respond at all.
>>47520658
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ki7eu
>>47520751
They are nanite-infested tanks.
You'd need to go serious right off the bat.
>>47520767
their metal, so would fire even work?
would nothing short of an EMP or a nuke stop these things?
>>47520767
No problem: my strongman has been scrapping tanks in the past. If an atomic breath by a not!godzilla can't keep him down, those tanks don't stand a snowball's chance in hell.
>>47520508
>>47520593
>Tank and a plane get it on.
Haha, time for Blitzwing!
>>47520780
HEAT should work. Although you'd need to shoot a bunch of them to cook everything inside of the armor.
>>47520789
You can't just punch the nanites to death through. Sure you open the can, but then the mess just spills out.
>>47520828
>You can't just punch the nanites to death through
YOU DON'T KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY
>>47520828
That's what the EMP-burst of our Thundergod is for.
>>47520828
Chlorine Trifluoride flamethrower should work then, right? That stuff can burn things like soot, ash, bricks, asbestos and concrete (mostly due to the fact it burns at temperatures over 2400 degree Celsius).
>>47520780
>>47520593
>mentions that vehicles more or less get infected with dire machine
>this implies that it can spread
YOU GUYS! ITS LIKE ZOMBIES BUT WORSE!
>>47520874
Depends on what the nanites are made of. Didn't you see stargate?
>>47520908
ZONDER!
>>47520211
>>47520391
Writer of these hereI manages to find the plane guy's roll20 account if anyone is interested
>>47520920
I am.
>>47520593
>Dire Machine turrets don't have 360 rotation.
this kills the attack helicopter.
>>47520944
does your cock have 360 rotation?
>>47520920https://app.roll20.net/users/1308972/dusty-c
>>47520954
no, but that little tidbit ruins the idea of a Dire Machine chopper, if the rotor cant rotate 360 degrees (which it NEEDS to do if you want any form of lift) then the chopper can't fly.
>>47520978
Wait, wait, I thought you were talking about turrets. Surely helicopter rotors can.
>>47520978
well, the planes seem to have propellers, and their wheels seem to work fine
i think that only applies to tanks, and maybe other turrets.
>>47520978
They'll probably keep the regular mechanical rotor rather than replace it with nanofiber muscle like they do with the turrets.
>>47520990
>>47520998
>>47521000
Fair enough. I believe there were also submarine Dire Machines.
>>47521019
on the website full of dire machines i remember some aircraft carriersthere was a comic of a giant female ship raping an Nazi SS officer
>AD&D 2nd
>since the other people who had genned were a 1 health mage and a 3 health thief I was asked by DM to do a Warrior class
>get the stat rolls for Ranger
>another person joins and rolls Fighter
>game starts, we're all on a boat in a dock after having been conscripted to go to a desert to find trinkets and magic items
>trading these in at town are the only way to get food we are told
>walk to some ruins that weren't explored
>get there, be presented with some crabs
>can't, for whatever reason as a ranger, befriend the crabs
>go to fight them
>immediately take 5 out of my 7 health, doing no damage to the crabs
>get pulled away by the fighter
>look elsewhere in ruins
>there's a wall with a secret door in it
>fighter tries to pry it open with his sword
>magic happens and shatters his sword
>I knock on the walldoor
>it falls onto me and the mage, both dodging
>fighter goes into corridor behind the now open wall
>immediately mesmerised by a statue
>so is the mage
>I walk backwards to move the others away from looking at it
>find a book, it's an old elven we can't read
>use rope to pull down the statue
>something starts banging on a door
>after it partly breaks through I manage to cut a few fingers off the skellington man thing
>it gets through entirely and just runs to the broken statue and starts mourning it
>try to just hit it in the back of the head and kill it
>it turns around and KOs me tearing my throat
>someone sets fire to the chair it was sat on in the room it came from
>it dies, I get stabilised
>find another book in that room
>also another hidden walldoor
>having learned from last one, we step away, shoot an arrow to do the magic thing and throw a rock at it to knock it down
>the rock, thrown by the thief, bounces off of the wall and hits him in the head for 2
>find nothing particular in there anyway
>one last room, pile of papers
>the books start reacting to the papers
>take the books out, all their words become jumbled and worthless
>>47521033
>aircraft carriers
Jesus, what's next, space stations?
>>47521055
oh god
imagine how much different 2001: a space odyssey would be if instead of HAL, the ship was a dire machine
>>47521055
>X-Wings massaging Death Star's canal looking for the g-spot
>>47521055
Don't give them ideas, you fool!
>>47521065
>the ship was a dire machine
>It's into orgasm denial.
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that."
>>47521090
Well now I have a boner.
>>47521066
The millennium is a kinky bitch then
into three ways AND bestiality.
>>47509533I found people i tolerate and like
>>47521113
"Why did that hurt me?"
>>47521104
>SSD Executor thrusts into her roughly in plain sight of the rebel fleet
>>47518268
Have you looked at using Maptools? I find it to be a much more pleasant tool than Roll20 personally.
>>47521129
Oh look, there go my sides.
>>47521122
>>47521129
>Millenium Falcon dives deep in, going straight for the giant's cervix in order to deposit his payload right where it needs to be
>>47520211
So I decided to do my own research. Gotta admit, seeing a tank fuck a redhead was just the way I wanted to celebrate memorial day.
God bless america.
This thread has been ruined. Or saved. One of those. Good job, anon.
>>47521236
Thanks!...I think...
>>47520960
> BIO: "Planes" fanatic and LOVES playing D&D
>>47521222
Could be worseit could be Starkiller Base .
>>47521222
>Anakin x MILF droid control ship /ss/
>>47521236
I'm having fun writing these things.
Reactions seem to be on the amused side as well.
So all's good?
>>47521236
>be OP
>make a thread in hoped of getting some interesting that guy stories
>get some, decide to go to bed because its late
>after the required sucking of 37 dicks of course
>come back to thread after awhile
>its about anthro planes fucking people
>wtf
>>47521326
/tg/ is a magical place sometimes.
also ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Jesus, I don't think you can beat that kind of autism fueled fetishism.
>>47519597
>I don't think we would boot someone because they can't speak english as good as we can...
>as good as we can
Yeah, clearly not an issue
>>47521401
As well, whatever
I'm not really concentrating on how I'm writing right now, wise guy
>come here expecting a few idles keks and That Guys
>FUCKING ANTHRO PLANES
AHAHAHAHAHA
>>47521531
Stay horrified.
>people acting surprised over plain/tank porn
Wow, sure is summer around here.
>>47518939
Don't worry about it mate.
Just had a 3.5 game this past weekend, not on roll20, though. Not a lot to tell, but we had a stand-off, a combat episode which consisted of shouting "we're not here to fight", getting into a position where everyone threatens everyone and tricking the other guys into believing there were more of us.
Turns out those guys weren't even the guys we had any conflict with.
And we're still debating what to do with a prisoner we took earlier.
Everyone had fun, everyone brought characters that work with the setting, no-one threw a fit when things didn't go their way (and we had our share of shitty rolls).
It works fine if you don't play with shitters.
>>47521732
Nah, just the detail. Plains with tits are aight. These things have tentacles.
>>47521732
i mean, we know it exists. but seeing it is different
its like how you know murders happen everyday but when it happens infront of you it doesnt get shrugged off
>>47519563
Pretty much same here. I'd play with you.
>>47520874
Actually nanites, due to their small size and complexity, are especially vulnerable to heat unless they're made of bullshittium.
>>47521857
Well they "draw in heat from surroundings" as an energy source for transforming the tank. So that's already some bullshittium.
>>47509533
>have GM
>really chill
>gets us all started on first campaign
>homebrew world 3.5
>get in two solid, full campaigns
>person drops because of drama
>couple more from life getting in the way
>GM breaks up with gf in group
>try to invite new people in to keep it fresh
>they suck, on the whole
>blow through 3 or 4 other systems
>suddenly he's trying to build a whole homebrew system
>named it and writing rulebooks and all that shit
>instead of emailing us changes he links to his blog where he vaguely references our campaign for "inspiration"
>suddenly play stops being fun at all
>we blame the new guys at first
>but then we realize that he spends more time flipping through tables than actually getting into the game like he used to
>stops illustrating in the same detail
>every interaction has the subtle feel of "just fucking do this and don't step out of line"
>starts railroading a bit more noticeably than before
>debate is greatly restricted
>rule of cool goes out the window as well
>now realize I've trapped myself in a permanent fuck hole by becoming too close with my group and not calling them out the instant things turn sourand to top it all he's taken to painting his nails and carrying purses around. I think he took that breakup a bit too hard
found a good group full of great players
we have fun
people are punctual or give notice for absences
we have grizzled vets and total noobs
i didnt even try, if you're in a game that's like fetish porn retarded then you've clearly missed a lot of tells on the way
>>47518268
I ended up buying Fantasy Grounds and a bunch of dnd stuff because I have a disposable income, it's nice but the lack of homebrew support kills me
>>47521789
Sounds really fun.
>>47522138
Fuck the other guys, this is truly horrifying. Ever considered usurping the GM spot?
Sorry about your admittedly shitty situation
>>47521044
>rolling for your first HD
What?
>>47522520
Old school.
>>47522520
I'm pretty sure getting max hp for first level wasn't even an optional rule for 2e.
>>47522540
Man I didn't make my 2e players do that shit.
That's just cruel.
>>47520919
>>47520908
>Dire Machine tank starts to assimilate other tanks and vehicles, regardless of whether or not they themselves are Dire Machines.
>Begins to grow in size and firepower, all while spreading its infection to other vehicles.
Haha, time for a Dire Machine Bolo!
>>47522520
That wasn't even the thing I had issue with.
I left straight after the book thing because the only thing of any worth we had found after all that shit, with zero bone throwing, was immediately fucked in the ass.
Especially since I was asked to play my class by the DM, I was hoping that my animal friendliness or combat would do something.
>>47519092
>Dunno, I remember a pasta of three martial artists trying to fight each other and only fumbling every roll, essentially knocking themselves out.
That's a good example, I personally hate that screencap. It was average at best when it was first posted, and now it's posted in every single Best of /tg/ threads.
>>47523106
Because it became a legend.
>>47509533
I have played 7 very good games using Roll20 now.
None recruited on Roll20, of course.
>>47518314
?
Why wouldn't you play with mics in this day and age? I mean unless you're an old fool with an old crew like me. IRC4ever.
>>47523744
Not the same guy, but I personally can't stand voices, and I also have an easier time reading than listening with all the accents floating around.
>>47523759
Are you trying to imply you can't understand what I'm saying?
>>47523864
If you don't speak with a British accent, I won't.
>>47520211
Ya know, it's pretty sad. The person who draws these does seem to have a decent grasp of human anatomy outside of figure drawing. It's pretty good.
>>47520211
>Babby plane on top of the big plane.
I-Is that their kid?
>>47523744
English isn't my native lang. And English phonetics are a bigger clusterfuck than F.A.T.A.L.
>>47519016
so much /pol/ in one post, holy shit
>>47520211
>she has one leg
Also, jesus fucking christ, this thread
>>47524493
>>she has one leg
whut, no she has two, one of them is just obscured by an engine.
>>47520960
Thank you, I blocked him now.
>>47513023
It's the big names that are always the problem. I'd never play any kind of DnD with roll20 randoms, probably not WoD or CoD either, but I joined a random L5R game that was fantastic, and I've had good luck with Fate. The more popular something is, the more awful players you have the chance to run into.
>>47520593
The Beast from homeworld?
>>47513023
I once played SR on roll20 with a bunch of dudes I met in a thread on /int/.
It was good.
>>47525052
Damn, I wasted my Joseph Joestar reaction image, ah well.
>>47518289
>Paladin slaughters a room full of incapacitated and sick bandits
Judge, jury, executioner
>>47520593
>>47520508
This sounds like the shit necrons are made out of
>>47520433
>That's more redflagging than a parade in China.
>says its special because he's been planning the character for months, just needed the group
>and he cant tell us the second reason because of "Legal reasons"
I immediately knew what was happening after "legal reasons"
Does rpol.net count?
If so:
>find game
>create character
>going ok for 2 weeks
>GM disappears
>repeat for every game ever
>>47525251
>I immediately knew what was happening after "legal reasons"
Well aren't you a special snowflake.
>>47525294
I think he identifies as a Martian Tripod.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NySRXCAOKFM
>>47519016
I just randomly entered a 3.5 game on table top simulator and they were all friendly and really funny to play with. Here is a funny thing that happened other day.
>we have a lawful good orc fighter who thinks he is a paladin
>wander to a house in the middle of the swamp and my sorcerer detects some kind of necromancy
>we go in to explore the house
>Orc smells a stench and thinks that is his paladin power of detecting evil
>believing the house to be evil he starts swinging his war hammer at the support beams.
>we freak out and tell him to stop and wait for us to leave
>he says evil never waits
>half of us almost die because the house falls on us
I got lucky and found a great and nice group. I added them on steam and i hope to play with them again soon.
>>47525294
Also, we are in a "that guy" thread but that is purely coincidental
>>47525354
>Orc smells a stench and thinks that is his paladin power of detecting evil
>believing the house to be evil he starts swinging his war hammer at the support beams.
10/10
Perfect roleplayer here.
>>47525354
>table top simulator
On steam?
>>47520211
>says its special because he's been planning the character for months
>>47525130
Seriously. The notion that being a Paladin suddenly means you're retarded and think the "pwoor wittle bwandits" shouldn't be dealt with because they're incapacitated is ridiculous.
>>47520593
>This ensures machines get the same amount of pleasure mating with humans as they would their own sized kind.
>>47525411
Yes. I personally think its a lot better than roll 20
>>47525391
Oh he had us dying of laughter. Ive honestly had had such a good time with DnD then i did last night and it wasnt even roll 20 and i just jumped in the game and teamspeak.
Not every game you need to treat like a job interview, sometimes just hop into a public game and you may get lucky
>>47525750
I know what I'm hoping appears in the summer sale then, thanks anon!
>>47524193
No, they're a lesbian couple. That's their adopted half plane half human
>>47526159
>half plane half human
I have SEVERAL questions.
>join an IRC Only War game from /tg/
>we're playing a recon regiment on a world currently rebelling against the Imperium, on a night scouting mission into some city
>literally the first thing that happens is the GM has us all take nearly fatal damage from a land mind, with no roll to spot "because we never said we were being careful"
>on a scouting mission
>after the players bitch, GM lets us roll dodge with a -40
>none of us have a dodge over 35
>later, same game
>we get into our first combat
>GM has every single missed attack reroll again to hit an ally, even if it's spacially impossible
>we end up all shooting each other
>every player (myself included) leaves before the scene end
>>47509533
>mfw I made the picture in the OP on /tv/ back when slutposting was a thing
>thought no-one would give a fuck even when it was requested
>>47526159
>No, they're a lesbian couple
How can you tell that's a girl plane?
>>47520391
>>he doesnt sound very mexican by his voice though
>I'll it was possible he was mexican, just didnt sound it.
You closet racist
>>47526180
It's kind of explaned in >>47520508
The nanites get enjected by the probe into a woman who then expand in true womb taking on more human characteristics
>>47526316
On the website of the guy that draws these he says they are in the description.
>>47518268
Literally all of that could happen with IRL rolls. The only reason you blame it on Roll20's RNG isyou've never had a chance to play IRL.
You're expecting too much of BLIND PROBABLITY, dumbass.
Just because it's improbable doesn't mean it's impossible. Learn some fucking probability before you play a game like this.
Roll20's been hit-or-miss for me, for the most part. No real horror stories like you guys are telling though.
Technology is neato, but there is an important gaming quality missing from sharing the same room and presence with other people. There's lots of personality and body language and social cues that we miss out on. Also, the "freedom" of the internet makes people damned flakey and attention-whorey.
On a side note, would dire machine aircraft in the Navy have to attend sexual harassment briefings?
>>47519866
>>Says its set in default 3.5 setting
>>"You mean faerun?"
>>"Yeah that one"
Um...?
The default setting for 3.5 is Greyhawk.
>>47526582
>r20
>dumbfucks
Pick both.
This thread is now making me think of a group of dire machines playing table top, and everyone getting flustered at the table because their GM has made them enter his magical realm
Which is of course humans
Which is also everyone else's magical realm
>>47526535
>would dire machine aircraft in the Navy have to attend sexual harassment briefings?
i have a feeling there would be no point.
sex is all they know
and sex is what they shall have
Never been in a roll20 group
But i did have a that guy in real life
half-ling rouge who was an ex pirate captain
Holy shot, I'm not gonna contribute. All have is a player who during session 0 turned into a huge weird reverse nazi fetishist (super keen on being a persecuted half elf/jew expy)
You folks have my story beat, all sorts of ways.
>>47520908
OH NONow I wonder if any of those people have jerked off to this movie.
i have only attempted to play a tabletop rpg maybe once in my life, cant quite say if i even got the rules down properly since this was 12 years ago, is roll20 a good place for someone completely new to rpgs?
>>47527525
How does this thread, in any way, imply that to be the case?
In all seriousness, as long as you use it as a tool, and not a place to recruit random people to play with, you should be fine. Only the community is toxic. The site is hella cool.
>>47527543
every time i check this board theres some kinda horror story thread, also i guess saying not having people to play with puts me up shit creek?
>>47527649
the reason for so many horror story threads is that a disaster is far more entertaining than a session that goes well
>>47518289
>It clearly states "Text only"
>People use skype to do everything. Bitches at me for not using voice
That's when you leave.
>GM makes up rules on the fly
That's when you note down the GM's name to avoid any game's in.
>>47521732
Please never say "Sure is Summer", joking or otherwise. All it takes is a couple years in a row of nobody using that retarded term before it fades from existence.
>>47520960
>https://app.roll20.net/users/1308972/dusty-c
Oh, hey, it's dusty, former associate of Ahuviya
>>47528101
>Ahuviya
who?
>>47528122
I too am confused by this.
>>47518289
>Paladin literally slaughters a room full of incapacitated and sick bandits
and you're complaining because what again?
Because the Paladin served his job as a weapon of justice?
If you want that mercy, compassion, and understanding shit, go with a cleric. Paladin is literally a weapon of his religion, the meme that pally's are supposed to be beta whiteknights is completely false.
>be me
>have very tight schedules
>barely any time for sitting down and doing something I like
>eventually find a block of time I can dedicate to some good old fashioned d&d
>screen 5 players, all that jazz
>game is 3 weeks ahead, so everyone has time to clear that block of time
>in that 3 weeks I do checkups (about once every 3 days) with every player to make sure they're still cool with playing the game
>we're green to go
>fast forward to game
>3 days prior I had checked with everyone, still green to go
>nobody shows up
>no emails, no PMs
>wait an hour
>pop open the freezer and pull out the vodka
>another night of drinking alone
>>47528201
>>47528122
https://kiwifar.ms/threads/f-a-q-phil-phacts.12212/
>>47528397
>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/f-a-q-phil-phacts.12212/
Jesus. I don't suppose that freak has a roll20 account, does he? Where can I read more?
>>47518939
>talked to someone while watching lewd drawings on picarto
>they had a commision done and it was lovely and I private messaged them talking about it since I recognized the character a belonging to the sisters of battle and also applauded their fetish choice
>we start talking tabletop
>they mention they're starting up a group for shadowrun and I mention how cool that is since it's like blade runner and shit, and seems like a cool setting
>get an invite to the campaign as the party face
>dm loves my character, as does the party because I play him like a tragic clown and as the only moralfag of the group
>now have 5 new steam friends alongside roll20 buddies and the person that invited me wants to do other campaigns too with me
This is the power having the same kink does for you lads.
>>47528784
For reference about the Dusty whose profile is linked here:
>>47520960
>>47528101
>Yes. The most frequently told story revolves around Dusty, a friend from college. Dusty invited him over to hang out because he felt bad that Phil was awkward and frequently bullied. Dusty's kindness was repaid with a lack of respect for boundaries and consent, culminating in grabbing at Dusty's "five dollar foot long". The excitement from touching another man's penis caused him to lose bowel control. There have been other instances, such as only doing laundry in a river when he's messed himself, but none are as memorable as this. (credit to @Weeping With Pity for this one)
Anyhow, literally the entire forum that's posted in, Encyclopedia Dramatica, the /cow/ board, literally just type any of his aliases into google and enjoy a few hours of free entertainment.
>>47528397
> Cis: Someone who identifies as the same gender they were born
Soo, basically someone normal?
>>47528822
I love me some good story. Thanks.
>>47528865
Yeah, it's based off of the acronym "Comfortable In Skin"
>>47529088
>Comfortable in Skin
Cums Into Socks?
Can't Into Sex?
Cucumber In Shitter?
>>47529088
That's bloody stupid.
>>47529088
Lrn2chemistry. It's not an acronym at all.
>>47522679
Why? You can already have sex with a Bolo!
Also, size doesn't matter
>>47529088
No it fucking isn't.
It's latin and it means on the same side or close to. They use it incorrectly.
>>47529088
Jesus, the fuck did you get this idea from?
'cis' is a prefix with its roots in Latin that basically means 'this side of'.
>>47529154
>>47529088
This.
Cis/trans is more like same/different with regard to "designated" and "identified" gender
Like cis and trans molecules being same and different side of spatial arrangement
>>47529205
>the sjw menace has infected chemistry
What in the ever living fuck is this bullshit?
>>47529225
A bunch of whiny millenials making shit up because they're bored of living in a world where everything is handed to them. The create strife because they don't want to do any actual work, they just want to play and have their way paid for them.
Literally first world problems.
>>47529257
So now they're replacing scientific terms with their stupid acronyms and buzzwords? But fucking why? For what reason? Is the periodic table not "diverse" enough?
>>47529225
>Being so blindly anti 'sjw' that chemistry terms trigger you.
>>47529281
Idiots always feel justified in their stupidity when they use jargon nobody else understands.
So I'm guessing none of you chucklefucks made it through high school chemistry then.
>>47529347
I hope, hope from the bottom of my dirty rotten soul that at least some of them are sarcastic and that the others don't realize this, cause written sarcasm is hard to discern from written stupidity
>>47529310
It helps them feel special.
>>47509533
>join random game
>players seem alright
>right off the fucking bat two characters kill themselves but make it look like they were murdered in game
>try to goad us into solving nonexistent murder mystery
>my character just calls the police
Did I do the right thing /tg/?
>>47525524
The notion that being a paladin means you don't have to follow the law of Good is ridiculous. If you wonder why being a paladin is so freaking difficult, that's kinda the idea.
>>47522202
>people are punctual or give notice for absences
Even with all the groups I've ever seen physically I'm pretty sure those are unicorns.
>>47529989
>Good = THINK OF THE INNOCENT BANDITS, ANON ;_;
No.
>join my first real session on r20
>DM seems alright and everyone is all serious about playing, everyone seems experienced and etc
>spend about a week leading up to the campaign discussing our characters, what we want in the campaign etc
>hyped to play
>first session, turns out the bard is a retarded murderhobo who lit a tavern on fire
>DM is really really autistic about rules for no reason at all, allows approximately 0 fun
>nobody wants to RP but the DM wants it to be an RP heavy campaign, however the DM can't RP either and doesn't do character voices or really talk as characters or anything
>second session and the bard does more retarded murder hobo bullshit dragging the whole party into his crap,
about what I expected honestly, I kinda just want to drop the game and try a different group but I'd feel bad
is it actually possible to find a legit good game with randoms on roll20
>>47530472
Nice picture anon, but it's not saying what you think it's saying. You don't have to be a doormat, and you don't let evil do evil. You're also Good, the major definer of which is Mercy. No, they're not innocent or anything like that, but sanctity of life is indeed a thing in dnd and more importantly, you're neither judge, jury nor executioner. Seriously, nothing about the paladin's fluff even suggests that.
Incapacitated/helpless people you shouldn't be killing on the spot, because you have no right to do so. Deliver them to a judge for justice, and don't bitch about it being difficult because you're a goddamn paladin. You eat difficult and shit justice.
>>47530538
>You're also Good, the major definer of which is Mercy
Mercy is for the harmless, which roadside brigands are quite demonstrably not.
>Deliver them to a judge for justice
A paladin *is* the judge.
>>47530581
No, mercy is for all who you can afford to give it to.
>A paladin *is* the judge.
Cite me something to that effect. You're not put in charge by a lawful authority (or at least, paladins don't get that by default) so that's out the window, and God's word isn't law when there's more than one god, and divine right to rule isn't a thing.
>Picture
Gygax a shit, alignment's changed since then. Get with the times anon.
>want to find a group on r20
>every group posting has like 20+ applications
what's the point man. might as well go to my flgs and ask around for a game there
>>47523744
Because in this day and age people still have dog shit mics, crappy connections and insist on using skype. You're always talking over each other and the game moves at snail pace whenever someone has the floor but they waste it slowly rattling off a retarded question or observation because they can't see the looks of disappointment and disbelief on the party's faces.
It's all the fun of a conference call.
>>47530639
PM the DM about it. Always worth a shot anon!
>>47523744
autism
>>47530633
>Get with the times anon.
Fuck off you spineless cuck.
>>47526582
The gods in the PHB were from Greyhawk, but no one actually used Greyhawk itself.
>>47530633
>>47530581
>>47530472
Alignments are personal because they are just highlighted morals made for the simplification of choosing how your character behaves and to restrict their actions to being "benevolent" "benign" or "being an asshole". They were also made to as a mechanic towards spells and effects. LG might be for some people "Law is just, law is pure" and for others "saving any and all, good or bad, while trying to uphold the law".
Now stop crying. This shit has been gone through so many times that it's gotten obnoxious about a few hundred thousand threads ago.
>>47520471
That's just plane weird, anon.
>>47520658
You could say it revs your engine?
>>47530690
I get you don't like the saying anon, but it's a valid observation. Gygax stopped having a say in dnd several editions ago, hence he's not really relevent.
>>47530806
>Alignments are made to restrict actions
Not really. They're just a label put on a character who acts in a certain way. If you strive to do the right thing you're Good. If you do your best to do what you do in an orderly way you're Lawful. Actively going out of your way to do the opposite of those makes you Evil of Chaotic, respectively.
>>47520211
That is just plane wrong
>Bored
>rl group fell apart
>/tg/ group fell apart
>Join roll 20 group
>Gestlat, pow, psionics, modern, and tech guide stuff all in use.
>Make a sniper.
>Gm is a little weird, a little obsessive
>Makes super special dhampiers and dhampier weapons
>Let's someone in using a horrifically broken homebrew race/class combo for a sucubuss
>Player refuses to show character sheet
>Eventualy after much much much work get to see the sheet.
>Every stat is over an 18 before stupid race/class mods
>Does not have basic understanding of how to build a character or how the rules of the game worked.
>Magic runs off a horrifically convoluted mana system
>DM railroads hard and gets butt hurt when the obviously super evil artifact he gave my pc is not used.
>DM constantly spawns stuff on top of my pc without any perception rolls, and puts stuff in that explicitly breaks the rules to punish me.
>Game ends after half the players quit when the dm made a charging, pouncing creature with 13 ab, and cast fear as a free action when using full attack, and three natural attacks.
>Later found out he did this because he wanted to show off how much better he was.
>Before the group broke up he had another player help him make monsters, said player knew I was good at it, he wanted something that would kill us basically, so I built things that would kill my entire party.
>Never got to fight them
>They had really really good gear and insane stats, all their gear was also cursed.I just wanted a DSP gestalt game
>>47526492
I know this shit can happen in real life. The thing is I did play games IRL before I had to move away from where my friends live. I never had this bad luck. I also had a couple of games IRL after I moved though not nearly as common. I only have this horrible luck on Roll20. I know bad roll are completely possible but I've had events happen that are mathematically a 1/100000 chance and it happens to me. The only time my luck is even relatively close to this bad is on Roll20.
>>47518939
>Join GameFinder voice game using roll20 for maps
>GM is really good at doing different voices
>Prewritten campaign is stupid, but we're using that to have more fun with it
>Things gotten much steadier after a few iterations of dropouts
>Decent group dynamic, mix of interacting and OOCing with me occasionally working to get things back on track and making progress
>Loving my character concept
>After buying a port under the name Gobb & Lynn company, plan to lead a small goblin revolution to gain cover for us to grand theft walking hut and make it into our personal landgoing pirate-ship
>>47530581
Oh, this retardation that people have no argument like to shit out. That is literally retarded, and one of the single most stupid things the old man ever said.
>>47523744
The lack of IC and OOC separation really bugs me. I'm used to PBP and text-only, so I'm used to a clear progression of events. Meet the satyr -> discuss where to go next -> visit the logging mill -> with the clues, confront the barghest. Instead, with text chat, things aren't so clear. -> Meet the satyr -> Joke about tolkein for four minutes -> oh hey we're at the logging mill now -> Discussion of ranger spells -> huh suddenly barghest let's roll initiative
>>47531268
Oh look, a shitposting millennial.
>>47529281
>DCCXII Ab Urbe Conditia
>referring to "Cisalpine Gaul"
Good thing Octavian showed those senate justice warriors what for!
>>47525130
Here, just cause you're a paladin doesn't mean you can go appointing yourself Judge Judy and executioner!
>>47531450
Oh, look, someone without an argument.
>You should totally kill someone after they've made up for what they did, it's goooood.
No, that's fucking retarded.
>>47531520
To be fair anon, that's not the original context. It's 'you should totally kill someone for what the did when they're incapacitated/too ill to fight, it's goooood.' Which is still not Good, but much less Bad.
>>47531268
Why shouldn't someone whose position involves being a holy warrior and judge of good and evil execute those who commit appropriate crimes?
>>47531594
Because they're not judges, no matter how much people say it. Their god isn't the Law, and unless they're actually appointed as such by a legitimate authority, neither are they. Sure they can judge who is good and evil, but being evil isn't a crime in and of itself.
>>47530516
Drop it, don't suffer a month of that shit.
Imagine enduring a YEAR of that because you simply can't say "no."
>>47531520
>You should totally kill someone after they've made up for what they did
So you're illiterate on top of being a shitposting millennial. Nice.
>>47531555
Executing criminals who are demonstrably and willfully harming innocent people is good, even if at that particular moment they have been incapacitated or otherwise rendered incapable of fighting, usually because YOU FOUGHT THEM IN AN ATTEMPT TO STOP THEM, correct.
Temporary disarmament does not absolve you of willful sin nor imply genuine repentance, and to imply that it does is naivete in the extreme.
>>47531631
In a medieval society, a literal chosen warrior of a benevolent deity (unless you're one of those fags who makes "evil" paladins) would likely be considered both an appropriately righteous moral arbiter and man whose ethical fiber to be more than sufficient to be the replacement of any "official" judge.
Your problem is that you think like a millennial whose first reaction to criminality is to call the cops. Historically, this simply was not often done.
>>47531777
>medieval society,
I thought we were talking about D&D, you utter faggot.
>>47531777
>Temporary disarmament does not absolve you of willful sin nor imply genuine repentance, and to imply that it does is naivete in the extreme.
Neither saying nor implying it does, but as a both Lawful and Good person you're obligated to turn them over to the rightful authorities when possible.
>In a medieval society, a literal chosen warrior of a benevolent deity (unless you're one of those fags who makes "evil" paladins) would likely be considered both an appropriately righteous moral arbiter and man whose ethical fiber to be more than sufficient to be the replacement of any "official" judge.
Not really, since there's dozens of gods all with conflicting moral codes. More importantly, none of them make any actual laws.
The problem here is that you're equating medieval feudal societies with a severe lack of law and order with high fantasy empires with firmly established legal systems. Also what's with you calling everyone who disagrees with you a millennial?
>>47531820
Oh, that's right. There's obviously no relation between the two. My mistake, shitposter-kun.
>>47531838
D&D isn't fucking medieval. It's never been. It's always been this crazy mashup of a ton of timeperiods.
But if you actually had an argument past screeching and flailing and shitting yourself in rage about millennials, you'd actually know this.
>>47531777
>Executing criminals who are demonstrably and willfully harming innocent people is good, even if at that particular moment they have been incapacitated or otherwise rendered incapable of fighting, usually because YOU FOUGHT THEM IN AN ATTEMPT TO STOP THEM, correct.
The issue is they could not defend themselves a paladin would want to do the lawful thing and bring them in alive so the proper authorities can pass justice rather then killing a defenseless foe.
>>47531837
>but as a both Lawful and Good person you're obligated to turn them over to the rightful authorities when possible.
As a Paladin, you are the rightful authorities.
I want you to tell me this Anon; if a divinely blessed, evil-detecting, warrior of righteousness does not have the right to judge that a blatant and unapologetic criminal be executed, what qualities does a bureaucrat have to pass that same judgement?
I came here to read horror stories about Roll20. Save the yet-another-paladin-argument shitposting contest for another thread.
>>47531837
As a paladin, you are the rightful authority by virtue of your position
>>47531888
>As a Paladin, you are the rightful authorities.
No you are not, have you been given authority by the law of the land to pass judgement on the guilty?
If so you should have a writ from the local law or their boss, unless the church is the law of the land as in a theocracy of some kind you do not have that authority for being a paladin.
>>47531893
Cite me something, literally anything that says that and I might agree
>>47531888
See above, and the bureaucrats have the right simply because they actually make the laws. Literally the whole point of being Lawful is that you respect the order that rules impose, not just run around doing whatever you enjoy.
Again, paladins aren't meant to be easy.
>>47531889
Is too late anon. Was always too late.
>>47531930
>See above, and the bureaucrats have the right simply because they actually make the laws
And what purpose do those laws serve, Anon?
Let's continue this train of thought. Think just a little more deeply, I know you can do it.
>>47531956
If you want to do whatever you want in the name of Good anon, play CG. That's literally what it's defined as, knowing that law and order play no part in what's Good. But that's not a paladin.
>>47531889
Sorry friend, shitty GMs are too desperate to defend their desire to go lmaopaladinfalls because he went and slew bandits terrorizing the countryside instead of, I don't know, bringing them across countless miles of trackless wilderness on foot so they can be hanged by a local bureaucrat who hears the Paladin's testimony alongside the dozens of reports of banditry that the Paladin has also heard. But it's, I don't know, better. Because. Don't ask me why.It's better because they get to make really shitty and stupid "moral conundrums," because they are, as previously mentioned, shitty GMs.
>>47531992
Yes it is, because a Paladin explicitly is out to vanquish evil.
Do you ensure a Paladin has all his proper crusading paperwork in order before he fights off an encroaching Orcish war horde? Do you make sure Demons get due right of trial before they're slain? Are Trolls preying upon the farmer's sheep subject to mitigating circumstances due to their limited mental facilities?
Or do you act like a fucking Paladin and slay evil doers?
>>47532067
>Lots of strawmanning
No anon, not what I'm saying at all. A paladin goes out and either fights evil or asks them to come quietly then fights them. If they surrender or are incapacitated but still alive, *then* you worry about due process because there's no reason left to kill them. In those 3 examples the paladin is mitigated because the orcs are part of an army where he won't have time to take them in alive, demons can teleport away and are some of the few creatures that do deserve killing on sight, and trolls are both non-humanoids (thus fall outside the law) and are nigh-impossible to transport safely due to regeneration and retard strength.
Also not a GM. Calling everyone who disagrees with you a millenial or a shitty GM doesn't help your case any.
>>47531992
Just ignore the faggot. He can't stop shitting himself in rage. I don't think he's so stupid as to keep shitposting if no one's paying attention to him, though. At most he might screech himself raw about mellienals, then leave in a huff.
>>47525524
I'm pretty sure chivalry says something about fighting unarmed opponents and those too weak to defend themselves. Paladins don't get to take the road of direct results the easy way, you have to be an example and exemplar of good so that call can look upon you and follow.
>>47532137
>the orcs are part of an army where he won't have time to take them in alive
>demons can teleport away and are some of the few creatures that do deserve killing on sight
>trolls . . . are nigh-impossible to transport safely due to regeneration and retard strength.
But Anon.
>>47531930
>paladins aren't meant to be easy.
Why are you so Chaotic? Due process is very important. :^)
>>47532145
Anon, there's no need to be rude to/about someone just because they're being rude themselves. I might take your advice, but being civil makes the world a better place either way.
>>47532170
Ayy, you got me there. Ignore my last part about the trolls and take my first one. If they're behaving as mindless animals stealing sheep, treat them as such. After all, since when do paladins have anything for knowledge skills? The rest stands though. You fight the evil first, then you deal with the evil you don't have to fight. And demons are both made of evil and don't really die, so that's fine.
>>47532160
>I'm pretty sure chivalry says something about fighting unarmed opponents and those too weak to defend themselves.
Right. Like commoners, womenfolk, and the elderly.
Not people literally terrorizing the countryside who happen to be in a moment of weakness for the time being.
>>47532214
>But I won't have *time* to take the invading orcs in alive for trial!
>But we don't have *time* to take the bloodthirsty bandits in alive for trial!
What an awkward situation it must be, to be so ethically inconsistent.
>>47532339
>>But I won't have *time* to take the invading orcs in alive for trial!
>>But we don't have *time* to take the bloodthirsty bandits in alive for trial!
>What an awkward situation it must be, to be so ethically inconsistent.
Following the exact same process with both actually. Fight the ones who you have to fight, then take in the ones who you don't. The only difference is the orcish horde has much more of the former and the bandit situation was all the latter. Literally what I said last post.
>You fight the evil first, then you deal with the evil you don't have to fight.
>>47532410
You literally already admitted in >>47532214 that you're ethically inconsistent, and here you are once more.
>Fight the ones who you have to fight, then take in the ones who you don't.
But Anon, paladins aren't meant to be easy. Due process is very important to EVERYONE.
Are you judging who is fit for due process and who isn't? Doesn't sound very Lawful to me, given that you're not a Judge.
Ethically. Inconsistent.
>>47532453
IF they die attempting to resist that is not you judging that is them resisting and dieing as a direct effect of their actions. If they surrender you are damn right you will take them in for due process of law now stop being a sperg.
>>47532453
Not at all, again anon. As you so rightly said, fighting and stopping evil is priority number one, and thus you fight to protect your own life until they stop fighting, whether it be because they surrender or because they die. You quoted me admitting I made a mistake and amending my speech to be consistent. If you note, I made two points about trolls, one consistent with what I previously said and the other not, hence me saying to disregard the inconsistent one.
>>47532453
Attempted murder is a capital crime; it was lawful to kill outlaws. Ergo, summary execution is lawful and at least neutral.
>>47532453
>Are you judging who is fit for due process and who isn't? Doesn't sound very Lawful to me, given that you're not a Judge.
Guess that police officer was wrong for shooting the perp in the middle of the head. He should have waited for the criminal to finish raping and strangling that woman and THEN waited for the local necromancer to raise his dead body so that it could drag the perp in to stand trial after having been stabbed to death by them when attempting to bring them in peacefully without doing them any harm the first time.
Right?
Potential horror in the making: Playing a game with some Scandinavian guy who made a twiggy, bald, brown-skinned, androgynous manservant to one of the other PCs. This character is currently on the hunt for a nail care kit.
I can see this becoming really interesting or really magical realm. Either way, though, I'm withholding judgment for now. We'll see how it goes.
It's unique, I'll give him that, so I'll allow myself some cautious optimism.
A few side thoughts from all this Paladin arguing.
Is Judge Dredd Lawful Good? If it were at all possible to get him to sit down and play D&D, would he play a Paladin?
>>47532678
Well, no, but yes that's the sentiment I was arguing against, correct.
It does ignore the part of the cuck argument that states Paladins are not the equivalents of police officers or judges, though, so they'll probably tag you for that one.
Remember when this thread was about roll20 stories instead of yet another argument about paladins and alignment? Those were some good times.Even the plane sex was better than this.
>>47532808
its quite the evolution though.
>>47532808
>arguments about paladins and alignment
>in the year 2016
I really can't believe this still happens man
>>47532790
Probably LN. He enforces the law and little else, and the law in that is fucked enough you're not Good and enforcing it.
>>47532678
Exactly. You stop them by doing evil by force if necessary, but similarly if the perp willingly let himself be arrested the policeman would lose all right to shoot him.
Alignment is probably the worst thing to happen in D&D. It's a pointless descriptor that only serves to make people argue about the minute differences between LG and LN or other shit. There is literally no benefit to alignment in the core-setting and alignment restriction could be better-enforced with hard set rules for paladins like the oaths in 5e.
>>47532800
>cuck argument
Seriously, nigga?
I want the plane sex back, this shit sucks because one side is a faggot who is bloody stupid (paladin can't kill dindus even if they did do. Them. In the ass.) and the other side is foaming at the mouth at the first side's retardation.
>>47532938
>People so scaredy waredy of supporting the intent of the law instead of the letter of it that they actually seriously question whether it is Lawful Good to execute flagrant criminals abusing the helpless or not are cucks, aka weak men, due to their obvious unease with defending their community and their people
Yes, seriously.
I provide a post that's not about paladin alignment and you complaining asswipes don't take the opportunity to re-rail the thread.
Stay classy, /tg/
>>47533030
That's not what cuck means, you fucking idiot. There is a singular meaning to it, no matter how much you and your idiot friends on /pol/ shitpost about it.
>>47533114
>Wow words are used in a different context than my webster's dictionary living languages are very problematic
Shut up, cuck.
>>47533054
It's in autosage, jackass. It doesn't matter.
>>47533155
Go fuck yourself, SJW.
>>47530538
You're forgetting that Paladins are also fully able to dish out punishment to criminals.
If that punishment is death then so be it.
>>47533210
'cept they're not, unfortunately. Paladins stop evil. If they die in the process of you stopping them doing evil it's bad, but acceptable. If you stop them doing evil and they're still alive, you deliver them to the proper authorities, as you have no right to act judge jury and executioner, despite what the Judge Dredd fans tell you.
>>47533016
>I want the plane sex back
we all do anon, we all do
>>47530633
>No, mercy is for all who you can afford to give it to.
Yes, and you can't always afford to give it to bandits.
>>47533250
You are the proper authorities though anon.
Fantasy times Knights have always been able to dispense justice to those who have broken the law.
>>47528353
Pic related
>>47526535
As someone who was in the Navy I can say for certain that they would, multiple times a year.
>>47533284
Course. To clarify my position, it's probably seeing paladins as closer to police officers than any other real world analogue, though I acknowledge that's not a 100% accurate comparison.
Paladins stop people doing evil, preferably nonlethally as mercy is explicitly stated to be a Good thing in dnd. They kill those that they cannot stop in any other way, and deal with the rest lawfully. In the original bandit example, they were explicitly talking about killing sick/incapacitated bandits there was no need to kill, which is a Bad Thing.
>>47533311
Paladin=/=Feudal knight. A dnd paladin is a warrior given power by their god to fight for Good, as long as they uphold the ideals of Law and Good to their fullest. If a paladin is given authority to dispense justice that's an entirely different thing altogether, but it's not something they get automatically.
>>47533374
>Paladin=/=Feudal knight.
...yes they are?
In the sense that they are knighted to uphold ideals by a higher power like a knight by his king before their god.
>>47533374
>Paladins are police
No.
Town guards are police.
Paladins are not martials of the peace keeping order for the people.
Paladins are holy warriors devoted to stopping evil.
Depending on their god that can mean different things.
Depending on their mission that can mean different things.
>>47533469
>>Paladins are police
>No.
Didn't say that. Said it's the closest real world analogue to them. Though I will clarify by saying that's just with regards to the 'what can/can't they do to humanoids' thing.
>In the sense that they are knighted to uphold ideals by a higher power like a knight by his king before their god.
But not in the sense that they are the law. And frankly even that sense is a stretch. Feudal knights are peacekeepers/warriors for a king, paladins are divine warriors fighting in the name of a god.
>>47519092
Here you go anon, if you are still here.
>>47533183
Would you like to know how we know you're a /pol/nigger?
>>47528355
I'll play with you anon-kun
>>47533815
Thatsthejoke, you fucking retard.
>Be wading through Roll20's Bullshit LFG
>Finally find a GM who is decent
>GM gives us a bucketload of information about the world and important NPCs, and asks us to try to integrate our PCs as much as possible.
>Spend a good deal of time working on my character, writing up a backstory, determining personality, etc.
>End up with a lady-in-waiting-cum-bodyguard/assassin. Hangs out with one of the important NPCs during the day, spends her nights murdering all of her mistress's enemies
>Sit down for the first session
>Game is happy and lighthearted for about 45 minutes.
>Remaining 4 hours are gut punches, despair, and body horror.
>One PC gets mortally wounded, and eaten alive in front of the party (who can do nothing to save them)
>We start finding evidence of some kind of cult of the elder gods
>GM reveals he loves running OW and DH
>I'm legitimately excited, playing in a cosmic horror campaign with a character who has no magical talent or knowledge skills is gonna be interesting
>Be waiting all week for next session
>GM deletes game and removes everyone from skype 30 minutes before session starts.
>MFW
>>47533815
>Not being able to tell that he's trying to b8 me into correcting his incorrect usage of a word to reveal hypocrisy
>He doesn't realize that "cuck=weak man" is a far more valid usage of the word than his own weak b8
>Implying that you're not both operating on so many levels beneath me that I don't even know why I'm replying
>>47517350
m8 maybe you don't have friends 'cause you act like that
>>47533936Obviously old man Henderson saved your pcs life anon
>>47519416
I took it to mean the /tg/ guy. I... apparently do not have a high opinion of /tg/ as players.
>>47520484
Play a human; they're dire halflings.
>>47520508
>>47520593
Thia reminds me of a story in a weekly write thread awhile back about a war between dire machines and people. It was not lewd, it was actually kind of scaru since they took it in an eldritch horror direction.
>>47521033
C-christ that spoiler.
>>47525354
I can't tell if this is sincere or not, but thats pretty funny either way.
>>47529281
Did you not notice how they first added on a new definition to gender and then acted like that was the true definition all along?
>>47531888
I suppose the sick and unconscious bandits spit in your face when you spoke with them, so you definitely know they are unapologetic, and doing this for funsies, and targeting only the poor or innocent or helpless.
You realize that based on what you've said (aside from your sperging about meillenials) you'd smite Robin Hood without question, right?
>>47531889
Too bad. This thread is about war machines raping people.
>>47532170
"Due process" "Due" as in, what they are entitled to within reason.
>>47532779
Literally never heard of a bad Scandanavian guy. I'm sure they exist but Ive never heard tale of one.
>>47519016
>Republican
>included in that list.
Son, you're just posting bait at this point. You know this site has age restrictions?
>>47535370
>Oh look it's the easily triggered /pol/tard episode
C'mon make this thread into a complete shitstorm, we're already off the rails on paladins, morality in a world of absolutes and interesting roleplaying/narrative involving dire machines that are robot zombies and fucking vehicles.
Rolled 1, 1, 4 = 6 (3d6)
>>47535492
Rolled 3, 1, 3 = 7 (3d6)
I roll to rerail this thread back into stories about tabletop gaming horror stories!
>>47512868
nice meme
>>47535407
Can you at least try?
>>47528355
I'll play with you, what system?
>>47513023
I've played with plenty of people got an IKRPG group that rocks we play the game the DM is chill and laid back. We poke fun at each other characters in character a good time all around.
![15c2a3c4bd[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/K5GPxiq.jpg "15c2a3c4bd[1]")
