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*“Baking?”*
“Baking,” you confirm.
Goto reclines in his chair, mouth rising into the widest, smuggest grin you've seen this side of Hate. “As they say in the vernacular, you dun got out-skilled, son.”
“Really?” you return with dripping incredulity. “Coming from the guy who literally has to dodge full-body tackles from Miss Psychostalker? Mine wants to make cupcakes.”
“Yep, she's got you-” Goto says, raising his hand to tick off fingers, “isolated, for at least an hour, in her apartment, right next to a gas oven.”
“Aaah,” you croon with enlightenment. “I thought that house on chicken feet in the parking lot was odd.”
“Just to knock you out,” Goto explains. “She asks you to check the pilot light - shoves you in, holds you there for five minutes, you wake up tied to the bed-”
“Your problems,” you muse, “are so alien to me, it's amazing. Like a man telling a fish that his knees hurt. Besides, I'd scream. Oven can't muffle it that good.”
“Harder lives one floor down,” Goto reminds you. “If they release him today, he'll be blasting Smash Mouth till nine.”
“He shuts it off at nine?”
“Just turns it down, according to Hamp. You rip into him for stowing away on the C-5 yet?”
You shake your head. “The nurses said he was pretty out of it, so I figured it could wait.” You turn to your tablet, tapping at it listlessly to give the pause something to do. “Seen-”
“I did,” Goto says quietly. He's tapping his own fingers on his tablet nervously, not even pretending to work. “If she'd been in deeper water, she never would've made it. A mile - hell, a thousand yards further from the shallows, even-” he shakes her head. “They were able to pluck her out with a crane barge - only thing with shallow enough draft in the area.” He sighs. “It could've been worse.”
“That's about the sum total of what I've heard so far,” you reply. “I wake up, they cut me out of the duct tape and it's all 'we won, they lost.' What *happened?*”
“Nareusan and Steadfast had the unholy shit shot out of them,” Goto begins, “but they're seaworthy and they should be in drydock soon. The USN has a floating dock in Singapore and they couldn't loan it fast enough. Still, I don't think we'll be seeing them again for months. The Kasturi was sunk, of course, and two Spica-M model gunboats - one in that attack run and another was too shot up; constructive loss.” He starts spinning his tablet around on the table idly, reciting from memory. “And that's pretty much it. The abyssals withdrew soon after we did - dunno where they were going, but they didn't get there, so, that's that.”
“Enemy casualties?”
“Notoriously hard to tell.” He frowns. “That battleship... we thew every last bomb and missile we had at it after you lost it.”
“... no wreck, though.”
“There wouldn't be, would there? Not much, at least,” Goto points out. “Never is.”
“... there is that,” you muse. “The rest?”
“They put down at least one heavy cruiser that we know of. Probably another, but we can't be sure. Visibility and sensors really went to hell towards the end, there - Steadfast and Nareusan were shadowed by that island and terrain, and Lekir's computers and gear aren't the newest around-”
“Lekir,” you fill in. “Last I recall, she was boarded?”
“Oh,” Goto says. “That.” He halts the spinning tablet, taps the screen briskly, and spins it 'round to face you. “Got the link on my desktop.”
You flip the tablet's sectioned cover back to prop it up for easy viewing - it seems to be a shoulder-camera style feed, similar to what the girls use. It shows you a cramped shipboard corridor, red emergency lights the only illumination. Men are creeping foreward in the dark, dark OD green uniforms barely visible in the gloom. A man near the front taps a magazine against his helmet for some reason before tucking it away again. They're creeping towards a dogged hatch at the end of the little corridor. The point man's just reaching for it when the heavy steel buckles with a horrid screech, a black point just visible through the rent. The bulge grows beneath a second blow, the better part of an obsidian-black axehead visible for a moment as the owner wrenches it loose.
“Let's rock,” the camera's owner whispers, lurching as he hefts his weapon up - the distinctive foregrip and heatshield of an original M60.
“I like to keep this handy - for close encounters,” someone ahead of him breathes, hefting a pump-action shotgun.
“You fucking nerds will be the death of me,” a tired voice says from the back just as the hatch finally yields with a screech of sundered steel, revealing the upper torso of something chitinous and awful in the gap, eyes glowing with a faint blue light. The men in the lead hit the deck as one -
“HERRO!” the camera's owner bellows, and then the view is obliterated by the M-60s muzzle flash.
You set the tablet down gently and give Goto a disturbed look.
“SWAGs,” Goto explains.
“... who?”
“Filipino Navy SEALs. They were waiting around for their plane ride home after a joint training op with the Indonesians when they started scrambling everything in the harbor. Offered their services and someone made room for them, it looks like.”
“... SWAG?” you repeat. “Aren't they called NAVSOG?”
“A valiant and respectable effort,” Goto says, doffing his invisible hat and holding it over his heart. “God bless that brave bureaucratic soul who tried to put that genie back in the bottle.”
You nudge the tablet aside gently. Your own bureaucratic soul is atrophying by the day, because once upon a time you would have found that video astonishing rather than passingly remarkable. “So you're telling me, we didn't actually do heavy damage.”
“We sure gave better than we got,” Goto points out. “And blew the hell out of a bunch of troop transports - Kitakami and Ooi guessed at least fifteen to twenty, counting explosions.” He smiles, thin and savage. “Kitakami and Ooi really came through, didn't they? They stacked up those abyssals wall-to-wall in there.”
You don't dignify that with a groan. “We didn't actually hold the strait, though. If they'd pushed-”
“Yeah, just like Guadalcanal. But they *didn't,*” Goto points out. “How often have you seen, or heard of an Abyssal trying to save itself, or one of their forces disengaging because of casualties?”
You have to think about it.
“Point made,” he concludes. “You were right, Settle. They're moving to larger ops, and they can't just cheat around logistics for those. They've got to transit, they've got to resupply, and there's a limit to the punishment they're willing to take.”
That's about when the door to the conference room nearly buckles underneath a sharp blow, the noise making you both jolt in your seats. The heavy, padlocked chain securing them manages to hold, but just barely.
“TEIIIIIIIITOOOOKUUUUUUU'S TEATIIIIIME~” a familiar voice sing-songs through the door.
“H-HARUNA BROUGHT CAKES!” another chimes in.
“AND THE OTHER TWO, WHO REFUSE TO EXPRESS THEIR EXUBERANCE!” Kongou adds, followed by two feminine yelps, probably from well-applied elbows.
Goto sinks into his chair with a look of resigned dread, glancing at you for help.
You recline in your chair. “They're at the pressure door,” you say seriously.
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.
[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
>[ ] The Great SDM Escape.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
I want to be in the tea party
NAKA DAUGHERU WHEN?????
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
Redbutton.jpg
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358911
>blew the hell out of a bunch of troop transports
fuckin typical
>>46358937
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
we need to prepare a litany of excuses for letting memex go camwhoring
>>46358937
>party.
>>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
Yah, he deserves it.
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
[Find a crane/scaffolding-rigged factory or warehouse big enough to fit a 3,500 ton Cruiser]
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
>Time to be productive, AAR!
Damn paperwork. It'll be the death of the military yet.
>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Figure out how to get our damaged chuuniboats repaired by weird shipslut hull summoning magic.
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do].
Check on Bat Lead. Because why the fuck not?
Or on more serious matters, Essex. Or Tatsuta.
We have a lot of shit to do, and unfortunately, my plans to make Bat Lead into an Ace Combat Super Ace (with MAGIC) have to be left on the side for now.
>>46358937
>[ ] Wat do
Can we see about chewing up a carrier today?
>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
Let's go and do a check up on those new arrivals of ours.
>>46358937
[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Have we slapped Essex silly yet?
At least give her the "this happened after the war" talk. Getting her to use an indoor voice is optional (and probably hopeless)
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Getting Crab to take Yuudachi out the drydock we we can use it to fix tasuta
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
[Meet Houston & ' Straya cunt]
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
I'm rather curious as to what the hell was that first conversation.
Not to suggest we need to do it now, but how's Shigure doing? Is Goto still being overprotective over her?
Hey Hamp, how's it feel to be an older brother?
>>46358888
>“I like to keep this handy - for close encounters,”
GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER
>the tatsuta autists out again
Somebody please free me from this torrent of stupidity.
>>46359082
That's a lot to do. Most of it has to be worked on /with/ Goto. It's been forever since he and Settle collaborated on anything productive, and ditching him here will only mean it's going to be even longer before they work together.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358937
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
>LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
>1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
>2. AAR for the strait fight
>3. Debrief Essex
>4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
>5. Deal with Naka's issue
>6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
>7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358888
>flip SWAG
>best commandos the flip Navy has
>literally Alien memes
Somehow this is worse
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46359162
>stupidity
Says the guy posting mongolian fingerpainting reaction images
>6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
Yeah, because the last times we've elected to speak with Shigure turned out so well. Leave this to Goto.
I'm curious about Naka but that can wait...
>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358832
Quick question.
Between the two of them (a Warship and an Admiral), does anyone actually know/have experience with baking cupcakes (and other sugary confections)?
... At least one of them, right?
Right?
I went to USS New Jersey last week, and I bought quite possibly the best Hawaiian shirt I've ever seen.
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
meet Houston and Perth
>>46358937
>[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
>LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
>1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
>2. AAR for the strait fight
>3. Debrief Essex, Houston, and Perth
>4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
>5. Fill in the above on the modern world
>6. Deal with Naka's issue
>7. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
>8. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46359162
Fuck off weeaboo. Go back to /a/ where you belong.
>>46359202
Well, Arizona had a cooking staff on board.
>>46358937
[o] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
Oh yeah, fuck. Forgot to put meeting Houston and Perth properly in the vote.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
ITS TIME FOR TEATIME WITH SETTLE. also I want to talk to the other Kongou grills
>>46359202
Settle's what... in his 50s? There is just about no way he hasn't baked cupcakes before. Also the internet is a wonderful thing full of many good recipes.
>>46359196
>>46359237
>complaining about anime reaction images
>on 4chan
Now you've just given me a reason.
>>46358937
>Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Check up on Naka. Goto really deserves an explanation
>>46358937
>[ ] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46359207
pretty sure fap angel has one with planes on it.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
IDS HABBENING
>>46358937
[X] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46359285
>hurr this entire site belongs to weeaboos
Look at where you fucking are. Does this look like an anime related topic to you?
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
Congratulate Harder on finally getting some.
[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
Essex and Yamato
>>46359324
Well, it is based on a Japanese game, that has an anime.
>>46359207
Where's the standard-types on this thing
>>46359261
You think they're with Essex now?
>>46358937
>Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
Tea with all four kongou sisters sounds comfy af
>>46358937
>[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.
Like >>46359172 says, there's a lot we need to do *with* Goto. Let's help him out so we can then get to more important stuff.
>>46358937
>[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
> Debrief Houston and Perth and meet them properly. Because screw Essex.
>>46358992
Christ, no one ever asks Iku why she isn't squirting out spawnlets.
>>46359324
>KANT-O-CELLE QUEST
You tell me, shitlord
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei
>>46359336
We should tell him to put a ring on that claw.
>>46359242
Having a cooking staff does not ensure competence in the kitchen!
>>46359284
... Colonel, are you supposed to have confidence in the skills and ability of a Navy Officer?
Or am I just overestimating the rivalry between Navy and Army?
>>46359284
Late 30s actually
Fuck it, why not just debrief all 3 at once?
>>46359378
IN BED
>>46359363
Because her love isn't as pure as yours and Harder's.
>>46358937
[x]Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
Debrief everyone but Essex. Let her have her damn webshow for now. She'd be too much trouble to deal with normally at this point.
>>46359357
>there's a lot we need to do *with* Goto
Yaoi, right?
>>46359363
Sperm immunity?
Who knows, maybe it's different when it's shipboy on shipgirl, instead of lewd submarine on unsuspecting navy ensign.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46359363
Iku's an habitual bicycle.
You, on the other hand, just went the lewdest route.Missionary position in the dark and holding hands while procreating
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46358937
>[ ] You've learned some things from the enlisted men. You know how to spoil a tea party.
>>46359399
Admiral's bed in Big J.
>>46359363
Because, interestingly enough, 4chan is still very traditional in mindset.
Must be all the High Fantasy/Medieval settings.
Also.
>>46359419
>>46359353
A single word can set off the avalanche.
Of Ace Combat.
>>46359363
They *should* be.
And if the reason is that prophylactic drugs work on shipgirls, well, there's going to be *questions*.
>>46359207
Daaaaamn!
That's beautiful.
If it had Elvis it would be perfect.
>>46359374
It's less faith in a navy officer and more faith in somebody in their 50s or 60s.
>AND THEN THEY DID NOT FUCK
Pffffft.
>>46358937
>[X] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46359451
>A single word can set off the avalanche.
>Of Ace Combat.
Whatever do you meanbuddy
>>46359049
Kek. Despite the reference I... am not sure I understand the image
>>46359376
... wait what? HOW?!
>>46358937
>[x] Not so smug now, eh? Come, let's see how a *master* evades a horny shipgirl. Teach me, oh sensei.
>>46359399
Big J's a good ship.
>>46359467
He's in his 30s, Colonel.
Not enough time to ensure competence in baking. Or cooking for that matter.
>>46359500
BATTLEFIELD PROMOTIONS.
Hell of a drug, I'm told.
Awww, Ari want to bake cupcakes?
>>46359500
Some sort of weird bullshit in the bureaucratic process, despite the fact that the youngest American Naval Admiral ever was 45.
>[x] Out the back! We've got shit to do today!
I WANNA MEET ESSEX AND SHOW HER HOW COOL GOTO IS.
OUT OF THE FRYING PAN, INTO THE FIRE.
>>46359499
A common problem in main game KanColle is that Ooi/KTKM will waste their opening torpedo salvo aiming at the same target, usually the weakest destroyer.
>>46359499
KanColle has RNG targeting
>>46359500
>>46359522
"Heroism" and wartime promotional hijinks.
So when's the meeting for our webcam-related ass-chewing scheduled aerofag?
>>46359324
>Does this look like an anime related topic to you?
yes?
>>46359499
They launched all their torpedoes at the same target. The least important target.
Their 'admiral' is not amused
>>46359522
Let's not forget he was a Captain before the whole Abyssal thing
>>46359554
Never because it was an event that was meant to be cathartic.
>>46359500
Reasons.PF is worried we wouldn't be able to connect to an older character, but still wanted the PC to be an admiral
>>46359514
I... I... I... PLANEFAG!
>>46359518
I foresee a great and terrible fire.
And lost cupcakes. In the fire.
>>46359489
That my plan, to make Bat Lead into an Ace Combat protagonist/Super Ace, is now in motion!
We just need to keep up the Ace Combat references.
>>46359550
No amount of heroism should be able to get you promoted like that. You need to be appointed by Congress and have served for a fixed period of time prior. Something like that happened for the guy who was 45, and he was a seabee (nothing against them, just saying)
>>46359522
He was a Captain on the Higgins and was in the running for a future flag rank posting, LA kind of accelerated that process.
Was that a CoD reference? In my shipslut quest?
>>46359499
KTKM and Ooi will almost always target the least important enemy with their ridiculously powerful torpedo attacks, much to the despair of Kancolle players. Put them both in a fleet, and chances are they'll target the same ship for even more pointless overkill.
>>46359500
War Hero, LA, battlefield rank-up
>>46359588
>Super Ace
So Frank "American Kira Yamato" Bishop?
>>46359568
Hence why I thought he was probably around my age, because you don't make O-6 young, regardless of branch.
>>46359585
Now you're just giving him what he wants.
>>46359596
The youngest Admiral in US Naval history was 45. Settle is in his mid 30's. Is anyone else seeing the problem? Hell, my brother got out of the Navy when he was 28 and he was a Lieutenant.
>>46359588
>I foresee a great and terrible fire.
I don't think they're cooking those cupcakes in her magazine, anon. The japs tried that once and it was awful.
>>46359599
ALIENS, MOTHERFUCKER, HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!
>>46359608
His name was actually William Bishop in Assault Horizon.
So he was probably Canadian instead.
>>46359614
The Cupcakes are doomed.
>>46359555
GOTTA LOVE THAT ARR EN GEE EH GUYS
>>46359599
An Alien reference, actually. Gaz just happened to know the film as well.
>>46359608
>>46359588
Did you know, there are three kinds of Marines?
Those who are grunts.
Those are POGs.
And those who are in the Wing.
Those are the three.
And him?
>>46359636
You're horrible. That joke's terrible.
It still made me laugh.
>>46359642
.....I was referring to SW89's protagonist
>>46359629
Was your brother attacked by lewd abyssals?
Checkmate, atheists.
>>46359284
>>46359376
>>46359500
>>46359514
>>46359585
46359568
>Group of Admirals in meeting
>"Who's going to be our go to guy on this Abyssal/Kanmasu thing."
>simultanious chorus of "Not it!"
>"Well somebody flag ranked has to be."
>"What about that Settle fellow. He's got experience with them and his ship is out of commision?"
Meanwhile at Settle house
>Ding! You've got mail!
>>46359621
... God damn it you're right.
>>46359629
He's pushing 40. He's in his late 30s, and up until the recent troubles, he was an obscure captain of a low priority vessel. There isn't a problem with a few years getting shaved off in light of his unique experience and value as a test and PR case. Particularly considering that up until a few days before getting sent to Yokosuka, he was commanding just 2 destroyers kanmusus and a carrier.
>>46359663
This was last year, so no.
>>46359629
Late 30s. Very late 30s.
Also, stupid shit happens in wartime.
Back in WW2 people regularly jumped two, three ranks or more over the course of the 6-year war.
>You will never be dragged down to the bottom of the sea and forced to impregnate lewd abyssals to produce more soldiers for their war on mankind
>>46359500
War hero, his ship was too damaged in combat to be repaired, and thus a war hero and competent captain was without a ship in a time of war.
Was saddled with several shipgirls, and no one else had the time (or sanity) for that shit. So, if in charge of several ship(girl)s, no replacement ships available, in a time of war, and the PR potential...make him a Rear Admiral.
The USN also wanted to send their shipgirls to Yokosuka, since the shipgirls wanted to fight, the USN was wary of shipgirls, and Japan needed the help. Pair the USN's foremost expert on Abyssals with the USN's shipgirls, and, well...
>>46359658
>>46359642
Now I feel silly. Happens when you don't usually watch movies in english.
>>46359599
>Not having seen Aliens
I'mdissapoint.jpg
>>46359642
>not knowing SW89
>>46359690
Not that level of stupid shit. That guy who made flag at 45 was jumped up as well.
>>46359585
Mid to late thirties, leaning late. Heavily. And, though I've never said it, in my head he got command of the Higgins largely because the usual promotion pipeline had been thinned out a bit by new construction in the last few years. Thinned out quite a bit, in fact. Somewhat related to Higgins sailing for Japan with LSRAMs and a note that said "fuck cruising speed, money is no object."
It starts with C and rhymes with - er. China. China is the reason. Just jump right to that.
>>46359648
kancolle is pretty much a pachinko machine
you put money in and balls drop randomly
>>46359599
>>46359642
>>46359703
See Alien, then Aliens. Then stop watching.
Classic scifi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEs8j4_hrUY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49OZ0M_0fhg
>>46359629
Settle is a genius geek though. Heard it mentioned he wrote papers on networked warfare. He also has connections like his Holy Nation. Maybe he just rose up the ranks cause he was really promising officer?
>>46359710
It's not really worth knowing anon. I say that as someone who read it.
>>46359723
Ah the wartime promotions that "aren't wartime promotions" I get it now. Still damn young, but you know what. FUCK IT! I don't care! I'm just here for my free entertainment and watching you're balls retract back into your body whenever my boss drops in.
>>46359751
http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/officer/communitymanagers/ldo_cwo/Pages/Promotions.aspx
>>46359419
Lewd? Me?
Here's some lewd for you. I wrote it with her ages ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6OTOaCK8c4
HACHI
Gosh it bothers me to see you, Iku,
Covering your lady lumps.
Ev'ry ship here'd love to bed you, Iku,
Especially given your rump!
There's no girl on base as ogled as you,
You're ev'ryone's favorite lay!
Ev'ryone's lewd and perspires by you,
And they get very hard, (or go gay!)
No one licks like Iku,
No one schlicks like Iku,
No one deals with dumb verbal tics like Iku!
For there's no ship on base half as comely,
Busty, a big girl (for you)!
You can ask any boat, ship or steamer,
And they'll tell you whose lap they'd prefer to be on!
HACHI AND CHORUS
No one fucks like Iku,
No one bucks like Iku!
HACHI
No one's written pornfic to show cucks like Iku!
IKU
As a romantic, I like intimate dating--
HACHI AND CHORUS
My what a gal, that Iku!
Give five more loads! And pump those hips!
HACHI
Iku's at her best
When you can see her nips!
CHORUS
No one blows like Iku,
Can get low like Iku
HACHI
No one can do that one thing with her toes like Iku!
CONQUESTS
For there's no one as curvy or busty!
IKU
As you see I've got dat ass to squeeze.
HACHI
Not a bit of her's saggy or boney!
IKU
I can
Take ev'ry last inch of you down on my knees!
>>46359751
Or the perceived correct skillset for a particular theater.
>>46358937
[ ] Out the back! We've got shit to do today! [suggest shit to do]
LOTS OF SHIT TO DO!
1. Inform higher of OPSEC breach re: livestream
2. AAR for the strait fight
3. Debrief Essex
4. Develop plan to repair and refit Tatsuta
5. Deal with Naka's issue
6. Visit Shigure, because she needs morale boosting.
7. Investigate the progress of getting Yamato to sea.
>>46359751
>really promising officer
>letting us control them
choose one
>>46359661
>>46359710
All part of the plan. For more Ace Combat references!
And yeah, I tried to follow SW89, didn't click with me.
>>46359746
I have the Alien-Predator boxset.
I have only watched the original two of each series. There is nothing else.
>>46359636
Hahahahahaha
I wonder if Mutsu likes cupcakes, or if she triggers upon seeing them instead.
>>46359436
I hate this gift shop name.
>>46359751
This, too. Sure didn't hurt. But note that's just one of the factors that contributed to him getting a very old Flight I ship several years "ahead of time." The big sticking point is, there's usually more qualified commanders than there are ships, lots, and you just have to wait your turn.
>>46359785
CHORUS
No one spreads like Iku,
Gives you head like Iku!
HACHI
No one else can be thoroughly bred like Iku!
IKU
I'm also quite good at ejaculating!
NAKA
Ew.
CHORUS
Ten yards for Iku!
IKU
When I was sub,
I shot four dozen torps,
Ev'ry battle for the Emperor!
And now that I'm girl,
I've laid five dozen twerps,
So I've truly the thighs of a whore!
CHORUS
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a gal, that Iku!
No one tongues like Iku,
No one hums like Iku!
HACHI
No one shakes out light cruiser hairbuns like Iku!
IKU
I use rotors in all of my masturbating!
CHORUS
My what a gal--
IKU
I-KUUUUUUUUUUUUU~~~!
>>46359807
Quite rightly, sir.
>>46359785
Why don't you take a seat over there.
>>46359814
Why did I laugh.
>>46359828
>>46359785
Is that going to be on the deluxe album?
>>46359774
He's the american Yang Wenli, but with stress issues instead of raging alcoholism.
>>46359785
...how many bottle of rum were involved in coming up with that song?
>>46359828
OBJECTION!
You are NOT a burly Frenchman!
VOTES CALLED
You are all so eager to go rushing into the waiting arms of bad news, it's adorable.
>>46359843
No, it's obviously available only at Comiket.
Or on J-List.
![[demon intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/dcxNhE3.gif "[demon intensifies].gif")
>>46359785
>>46359828
An instant classic.
>>46359828
>>46359785
>>46359860
The sooner it's done the better it will be.
The more you try to duck a fucking pissed off officer, the worse it'll be later.
>>46359848
It was less the number and more the number of uses we got out of them that night.
>>46359860
It's like ripping off a band-aid on a hairy, sensitive part.
>>46359860
BAD NEWS! MY FAVOURITE!
Because they don't hide all the shit that's really going on!
>>46359860
>>46359860
You wound me, PF.
I know it's hell we're walking into.
You know, I'm surprised that Settle getting into romantic entanglements with girls who look half his age isn't coming off as creepy as it is.
>>46359860
>implying you won't have something happen to disrupt things
Relevant to this thread : http://g.e-hentai.org/?f_doujinshi=0&f_manga=0&f_artistcg=0&f_gamecg=0&f_western=0&f_non-h=1&f_imageset=0&f_cosplay=0&f_asianporn=0&f_misc=0&f_search=kantai+tenryu+einsatz+-chinese&f_apply=Apply+Filter
Tenryu explaining to her DDs how boat works. Only in moonrunes, unfortunately, but hilarious nonetheless
>>46359912
>look half his age
Most of the ships in his harem are obsolete by decades. Especially Arizona, the definition of old and busted.
>>46359912
Half the reason for that is said girls are twice his age.
But who are the two other girls with them?
>>46359887
>more the number of uses
HAHA TIME TO USE THOSE TECHNIQUES ON THE MANLET
ASSERT DOMINANCE
BECOME THE DOM, NAKA
>>46359912
Well if you want to be technical about it, she's either a few weeks old or over a Hundred.
It's honestly safer to not think about it.
>>46359912
It totally fucking is.
HOPE RIDES ALONE.
>>46359944
Go home, Dision. You're malfunctioning again.
>>46359912
>You know, I'm surprised that Settle getting into romantic entanglements with girls who look half his age isn't coming off as creepy as it is.
That comes in right underneath "literally fucking a WAR GRAVE" for Settle, in fact...
To solve the Rank issue the Navy recognizing his heroics and needing someone to command the Shipgirls Brevet Ranked him Rear Admiral.
His official rank is still Captain but shipgirls according to the Japanese respond best to admirals is how I saw it.
>>46359944
>Harder: "NO NOT THERE, MY HULL IS WEAK IN THAT SPOT"
>Naka: "What's wrong? Can't take the pressure at this depth?"
>Harder: "YOU'LL SET OFF MY BALLAST!"
>>46359944
>>46359977
You guys remember when you were telling me Harder might be into the mind control singing thing?
>>46359936
USS Arizona: commisioned 17 October 1916.
IJN Shoukaku: commisioned 8 August 1941.
USS Northampton (because why not, he got to first base with him): commisioned 17 May 1930.
>>46359912
Literally.
That and both Arizona and Shoukaku look adult enough.
Every thread.
>>46359999
>>46359999
And this is a problem?
Strongest quads say otherwise.
>>46359977
something something "blow all tanks" something "crash dive" something something "run silent, run deep"
>>46360005
Of those 4 only Hibiki is legal.
>>46359999
Yep.
Go for it, Naka. Your quads show the righteousness of that decision.
>>46359999
>>46360020
This is why you don't put Missiles codenamed "Shipwreck" on boats.
>>46360000
If Settle is 38 or so, that means he was born in 1980. Arizona is old enough to be his grandmother, Shoukaku old enough to be his mother, and Hamp is old enough to either be an old father or a young grandfather.
It may not be Yelling Bird, but Settle and Arizona baking cupcakes together is way too fucking adorable.
>>46359960
What's third on the totem pole of nope?
>>46360005
All of them are too busty in that pic.
Definitely need to be flatter.
>>46360063
AND THEN THEY DOCKED
![[enthusiasm intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/TBFpNal.gif "[enthusiasm intensifies].gif")
>>46360045
Dat Fire Control System
>>46360048
So this is Cougar Waifu quest not Loli Waifu quest.
Welp, I have a new fetish.
>>46360014
>>46359999
Well, it does making the whole thing easier. After all, if you mind control him, he doesn't have to worry about screwing up in bed.
>>46359999
I don't like where this is going.
Mostly due to my absolute loyalty to free will and self-determination.
>>46359999
If you only count years active, she's closer to 26.
>Harder: "Naka, I don't really know if I'm ready to submit my free will over to you yet..."
>Naka: "Don't worry, your consent won't be necessary in a few minutes."
>>46359785
>>46359828
It was musical hour the last two days in the writefag channel.Help me I keep wanting to do more. Derailing MaidRPG with musical numbers is too much fun.
ESSEX:
I am the very model of a perfect aircraft carrier,
I've information rhetorical, clerical, and nautical,
I know the presidents and Teddy was the most majestical
From Washington to Obama, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
Colbert here does algebra abstract and theoretical,
Real analysis and calculus, he studied it in Syracuse
And derives taylor series while he helps my accountant who is a jew
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know my naval history, how am I so magnanimous?
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS HISTORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>46359860
MIGHT AS WELL TAKE THE BAD NEWS FIRST
>>46360045
I just realised something, reading the latest shimakaze'd part again.
>"Thanks, Yamato," Shimakaze nodded, turning back to her engine. "The problem is, this is really just proof-of-concept. The real problem is getting a working version inside me, or really any one of us and that's..."
Something tells me this may be foreshadowing for Tatsuta's problem.
>>46360014
>>46360085
>>46360141
ESSEX:
I know spooky history, like of my haunted bestie Salem;
I can recite As You Like it and Othello verbatim;
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Admiral Settle,
And list the compounds created by all the alkaloid metals;
I can do a perfect triple axel and pirouette en arabesque.
I don't know what I just said; Je ne parle pas français anyway!
Then I can fence so well the French stare in rage and jealousy,
And snack on gourmet crème brûlée, while I reposte breathlessly!
I look stunning as a maid or any outfit in all likelihood,
I'm so splendiferous, it's as if I were straight from Hollywood.
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS RHETORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>46360141
>Modern Major General
It fits Essex a little too much.
>>46360084
As for the destroyer lolis (not that it justifies it, because not only do they look like kids, they have the mentality of kids):
Hibiki: commisioned 31 March 1933 (Happy birthday)
Akatsuki: Commisioned 30 November 1932
Ikazuchi: Commisioned 15 August 1932
Inazuma: Commisioned 15 November 1932.
>>46360141
>Colbert
Who?
the sooner we know the sooner we can deal with it.
Well, I can definitely say that I want to see Iku and Settle interact more.
Iku is pretty smart and contemplative, maybe she can help Settle find the answers to his problems?
>>46360160
>>46360141
In fact! I am the bestest and awesome sister to Willie D.
We built the greatest pillow fort while Settle was in therapy
Those otaku who creeped on Hornet, I studied their unjust ways;
Now I'll defeat them with my superior taste in annie-mays!
"People die when they are killed", I know is a tautology,
Because I am perfect, and I know it, which follows accordingly;
In short, I have a smattering of strategy in many things,
I'm THE SMARTEST and THE STRONGEST carrier in history!
For my Corsairs and my Hellcats were waiting for a century
To hunt my quarry and reclaim my glory against the enemy
IN SHORT, IN MATTERS RHETORICAL, CLERICAL, AND NAUTICAL,
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A PERFECT AIRCRAFT CARRIER!
>>46359999
The trick to safe and fun mind control in the bedroom is to not control the mind at all. Just stick with the body, purely physical affects and reactions. That way, their mind does all the heavy lifting of getting into things without breaching it at all!
Bonus points if you can goad him into saying his hips are moving on their own.
>>46360166
Of the destroyer loli's Hibiki was finally scrapped in the 70's.
She is over 50 years old in life experience her sisters not so much.
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>46360188
So in other words, we don't need to debrief Essex because she accomplished a lot of things while we weren't paying attention.
>>46360188
>We built the greatest pillow fort while Settle was in therapy
That's just asking for it.And I approve heartily
>>46360211
Er, you're thinking of Yukikaze. Hibiki was sunk in 1953.
>>46360192
LISTEN TO THIS MAN
>>46360166
It's Hibiki's birthday? Everybody post Echo!
>>46360243
Yup. Happy 83rd birthday Verniyy
>>46360176
what the fuck am I looking at?
>>46360211
She was expended in a target exercise, not scrapped.
>>46360063
Happy Ari is too cute to live.
>>46360243
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyqr0NRGOr8
>>46360192
This man speaks gospel.
>>46360166
It is birthday of Soviet destroyer in Japanese naval yards.
Not birthday of Soviet destroyer in Soviet Navy.
>>46360176
If by that you mean "Fuck him till he can't fucking walk" then probably, yes, she can fucking help.
>>46360243
>>46360276
... That phrasing implies things.
>>46360238
nope she was decommissioned put into mothballs then sunk as a target vessel in the 70's
So yes Hibiki is in her 50's mentally
>People evading a Kongou Sisters Tea Party(tm)
That's just sick and wrong. Will nobody thing of Haruna?
>>46360273
>what the fuck am I looking at?
water coming out of a dam
>>46360282
Have you been accosted by a submarine lately, Lt.?
>>46360141
>>46360160
>>46360188
>>46360221
When is that writeup happening? I want an explanation for all of this.
>>46360282
And another person comes to realize that Iku is the solution to many fucking problems, literally.
>>46360282
"Until he can't fucking walk" is a pretty low bar when it comes to Settle
>>46360335
>implying that he doesn't hang out with sammy and yams for a reason
>>46360331
Haruna will be finneeeeeee
how the fuck do you pronounce this
>Bepный
>>46360282
that too, she'd be a great partner for "stress relief" as it's not likely she'd have any strings.
>>46360362
Verniy
>>46360363
Don't be silly anon. Side ties have strings by definition.
>>46359785
Catchy tune...
...No one needs as much penicillin as Iku!
*ssssip*
Though, honestly that Gaston guy from the original must've been an awesome hero for that movie...
>>46360331
Haruna will be okay, she has her sisters nearby.
>>46360333
Pressure relief system?
>>46360362
Benis
>>46360391
What, exactly, do you think she has to tie under that swimsuit?
>>46360394
Hamp, do you listen to grunge?
>>46360362
It translates into English as Faithful
>>46359648
The entire game is about beating the RNG to submission.
>>46360394
>honestly that Gaston guy from the original must've been an awesome hero for that movie
Hamp, stop. You know not what you're talking about.
