Let's design a fallout vault /tg/
Posts ending in 5 are facts about the vault
Five out of the hundred vault residents have guns and acces to ammo
>>43640532
20% of women will pop out babies affected by a modified FEV
>>43640532
The vault experiment was LARP.
The vault consists only of active duty or reservist military personnel to see how they do under sustained confinement compared to civilians.
>>43640532
the vault has a thriving radroach fighting league
>>43640532
The air ducts, when opened, will distribute cyanide gas throughout the vault. This allows everyone to die quickly instead of eventually being killed by radiation, starvation, and various mutant infestations.
>>43640532
50% of the vault is clowns.
The other 50% is mimes.
>>43640532
The vault inhabitants are all that guys
>>43640715
OH BOY HERE WE GO
>>43640715
Well fuck.
>>43640715Honk.
>>43640532
There are large stockpiles of power armor.
>>43640715
All the mimes are male and the clowns are female.
>>43640532
>/tg/ Creates a vault then /k/ raids the vault.
There is only one bathroom.
>>43640532
The Vaults Uniform Extruders always produce a uniform that is either one size larger or smaller than the one ordered.
>>43640532
There's a giant red "Open the Vault" button at the door. It really does open the vault, and no defenses are stopping anyone from pushing the button.
200 years later, the button remains unpushed.
All the clowns in this vault are sound proofed and all the mimes wear squeaky shoes.
>>43640715
There is a mime Hitler and a clown Stalin
There is a secret society within the vault that has kept the secret of life on the surface from the rest of the population. The vault is all that they know. There is no wasteland for all they know.
>>43640532
The only Entertainment cassettes are reruns of the Addams Family.
The vault number is 52
One third of the residents are communist infiltrators
>>43640532
Every 7 weeks, a Deathclaw is released into the Vault.
Every Prime numbered room plays the birdie song on loop constantly.
All weapons are gag weapons.
There is only one room in this vault.
All the mimes were convinced felons
>>43640838
Well shit, I guess the clowns were the criminals then?
>>43640715
Whenever the Vault is attacked, the central computer is programmed to play this music.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg
One Clown managed to bring every Series of Monty Pythons Flying Circus into the Vault, now a cult following has sprung up around it.
>>43640532
Why don't we roll dice instead?
Anyway, one objective of the vault was to cause and test PTSD on the subjects of stasis
The vault is full of traps that are designed to be as stressing and confusing as possible without being lethal.
The Overseer has no sense of humor.
>>43640715
The vault is split into two separate compounds, which periodically fight race wars. Currently the mimes are winning.
The Vault is overrun with Gerbils.
>>43640715
The clowns rule over the mimes in an oppressive regime, honking them everyday.
The clowns feed on the dead mimes
The mimes feed on invisible foodactually trough a symbiotic relationship with fungi absorbing on radiations
>>43640715
Someone brought a potted Kudzu into the vault with them and lost it.
Now the vault dwellers spend half the time fighting a Kudzu outbreak.
>>43640895
OH MY GOD!
>>43640852
I laughed so hard i broke my funny bone.
>>43640895
One day the silent revolution will come. and it all start with "Whats black, white, and red all over?"
>>43640895
On the Vault-Day Anniversary, the mimes get a chance to fight back against their oppressors in the ways of kung fool.
>>43640907
>Kudzu
>In Fallout
pls no.
>>43640895
This is the purpose of the Vault. The Overseer encourages one side to oppress the other, and then encourages the oppressed side to fight back, making the Mimes and Clowns in a constant state of oppression and oppressor.
All weapons in the vault are designed only to stun or knock-out and never kill, so few uprisings result in deaths.
Some clowns are actually mimes but people can't find them out.
The mimes have started developing psychic powers.
Fuck it, where is KoG?
Anyway, the Vault number is 38
The two sides can only communicate via tumblr
>>43640934
one day the overseer is found dead, skull caved in by a Mimes hammer.
>>43640895
The Honking Overseer's son is in love with the Mime faction leader's daughter.
At the start of every month, the vault dwellers have a competition organized by the vaults artificial intelligence unit to decide who is the funniest.
The funniest half of the vault dwellers gain access to the toilets, higher quality food and personal beds.
Due to a programming error, the water fountains only dispense Gin.
>>43640955
AAAAAAH
>>43640955
I like it. maybe the Son has started to learn sign language, a forbidden tongue among the clowns.
>>43640955
Damn it boy I keep telling you she's not good for you!
>Honking intensifies
The makeup will run out after fifty years
>>43640955
The daughter is actually a trap but romehonk won't care
>>43640955
Thats a 5
This is getting good.
>>43640955
>Rodeo & Shhhuliet
Due to an insane whim of some of the higher up clowns, no mime may move more than one limb at the same time in their presence
>>43640995
>>43640995
The Clown son doesn't care because he's a reverse trap.
>>43640995
Oh jeez
Instead of guns, the vault security teams are issued extra-loud megaphones and airhorns
>>43640995
Because all clowns are assumed to be male, and he...isn't
>>43640995
Well that gives a new meaning to honking the horn.
>>43641025
It all worked out in the end!
>>43641025
>>43640995
>>43641025
>>43640995
Wow, it got gender bended into being sort of straight.
Bannanna peels litter the hallways.
>>43641015
well then.
>>43641025
THATS ANOTHER FUCKING 5
>>43640715
>>43640895
>>43640955
>>43640995
>>43641015
>>43641025
This is starting to get glorious.
>>43641015
Due to this, the clown "son" and mime "daughter" have to meet in secret, so he can move his limbs to express his feelings freely.
>>43640532
The Overseer was given a private stash of captured chinese propaganda to place within the rooms of trouble makers,
>>43641028
For serious conflicts between vault dwellers the security teams get out the Squeaky Balloon Animals...
The vault has a crew of clowns calling themselves the Insane Clown Posse, they are shunned and ridiculed by both mimes and other clowns alike.
>>43641025
Their child is prophesied to be the ultimate improv master
>>43641065
That's one hell of a prank.
>>43641025
Thanks god
Some mimes can communicate with cazadores, while the clowns can stuff little cars with ghouls
>>43641085
Does this mean that the clown weapon of choice are cakes?
>>43641085
I guess now we know what this vault's security looks like.
Tame radroaches are commonplace.
>>43641102
Acidic custard and shrapnel short-crust pastry.
Battle clowning is a serious art of war.
>>43640715
The Mimes have LOTS of power armor, but the clowns have all the powercells
>>43641102
...Yes.
>>43641111
Splendid.
Due to a Mime assassination attempted,all juggling is prohibited in the presence of the Overseer.
>>43641085
all cakes used for defense are baked with plastic explosives inside them instead of the normal filling. This has led to some very unfortunate accidents during meal time and pranks.
>>43641123
>Battle clowning is a serious art of war.
You should see how some of our boys are with a Ladder, that is a sight to behold I can tell you.
>>43641125
Were Valtec high when they though up this one?
Both the mimes and the clowns have snuck infiltrators into the other side.
Neither the clowns nor the mimes want any trouble.
Once every four years there is a talent show supervised by AI's that emulate famous TV show hosts to decide the next overseer
The clowns have never lost because sound decides 25% of the overall score.
Most clowns are clones
>>43641125
When the Vault gets raided both parties put aside their differences to drive off the invaders..
>>43641165
Vaultec being high when making this Vault is now canon.
>>43641165
>Were Valtec high when they though up this one?
APPARENTLY.
>>43641125
>>43641165
Perfect.
There is one super mutant. He drives the clown car
>>43641165
Your 5 says yes, yes they were.
No-one is allowed into the Lower West Residential Quarter.
The mimes' religion revolves around black and white mute films
The Mimes have a secret cult to Charlie Chaplin.
>>43641197
The clowns closed off the lower west residential quarter after the balloon animals gained sentience.
Needless to say, the overseer has banned the creation of any more balloon animals
Can we start rolling?
The board is currently so slow that you can time your posts.
It's currently exactly 10 posts per minute.
their entire lives are filmed and broadcasted to the other vaults who are told its a fake TV show.
>>43641125
The Clowns occasionally whore themselves out trying to get power cells.
>>43641207
The Chaplins are their elite warriors.
In secret, when he knows no-one is watching, the Clownverseer practicesstand-up comedy.
Vault ideas:
>A laugh track plays at inappropriate times
>The entire floor is carpeted, the carpet is constantly moist and no shoes were provided
>The intercoms play nothing but constant screaming
>The Overseer is a several ten of thousands of page manual saying to contain the regulations, in reality it is legal jargon not actually saying anything
>Instead of toilets everyone is provided with a bowl, and a community shit dump open for only half an hour each day, forcing people to see each other when they dump their shit.
>Televisions are provided, but the amount of time for shows and commercials are reversed
>>43641215
YES!
Instead of having a brig or jail, the vault instead has a room with nothing but educational films being played 24/7
>>43641215
VaulTec, WTF U doin'?
A worrying proportion of the clown elder council desire to bechartered accountants.
>>43641234
The absolute madman.
>>43640532
THE VAULT SO FAR:
>>43640715
>50% of the vault is clowns.
>The other 50% is mimes.
>>43640895
>The clowns rule over the mimes in an oppressive regime, honking them everyday.
>>43640955
>The Honking Overseer's son is in love with the Mime faction leader's daughter.
>>43640995
>The daughter is actually a trap but romehonk won't care
>>43641025
>The Clown son doesn't care because he's a reverse trap.
>>43641015
>Due to an insane whim of some of the higher up clowns, no mime may move more than one limb at the same time in their presence
>>43641065
>The Overseer was given a private stash of captured chinese propaganda to place within the rooms of trouble makers,
>>43641085
>That's one hell of a prank.
>battle clown.gif
>>43641125
>The Mimes have LOTS of power armor, but the clowns have all the powercells
>>43641165
>Valtec were high when they though up this one?
>>43641215
>their entire lives are filmed and broadcasted to the other vaults who are told its a fake TV show.
>>43641216
You dun fucked up
The clowns grow and weaponize firebreathing flowers
>>43641165
Confirmed high Vault-Tec employee
So what type of experiment was this?
>>43641265
all facts reconfirmed
>>43641235
Jesus fuck, what have you done?
>>43640532
The Mimes communicate exclusively with written signs.
>>43641265
Indeed!
>>43641257
They were high when making this, remember?
Bodysuits mandatory for all female occupants. Rainbow for clowns, black and white for mimes.
Clown overseer has ordered that all fight are to be done via rap battles, thinking this would give clowns even more power over the opressed mimes.
The fights now look like HONKy gangstas going at mimes throwing wild rhymes with sign language.
It's like naruto fights but better
>>43641280
I'm the real monster
>>43640532
There are no seats, only comically large fart/whoopie cushions.
The sprinkler system is broken. It now dispenses seltzer water twice daily.
>>43641265
The show has a dedicated following of ghouls and super mutants
Raiders one time tried to break into the Vault. After weeks, they finally did.
They were scared off because that was the day the Clown "son" and Mime "daughter" met there, and the sight of the Clown honking the trap with a strap-on terrified them.
The vault scientists have been working on creating some kind of super clown.
No one is sure as to their success but horrible inhuman screams can sometimes be heard coming from the research quarter.
The robots around the vault become mariachi with personality disorders due to a mysterious interference
>>43641235
There is a cult of clowns that worship the overseer manual as religious texts and swear to follow it to the letter.
Nobody really understands what it says.
The Vault is in Louisiana, and the crocodile men are desperate to get in.
>>43641335
>HOOONK HOOOONK
>>43641335
>>43641345
Fallout New Orleans confirmed
The clowns have Chen as their mascot
>>43640532
June 5th is Bring a Shitton of Bees to Work Day.
There're deathclaws living among the mimes.
None noticed.
>>43641335
Mime spies have occasionally sabotaged the project.
As a result, the super clown now has some Mime-ish tendancies as well.
every fact in this thread is now deconfirmed
>mfw this thread has become nuclear
>>43641235
>>Televisions are provided, but the amount of time for shows and commercials are reversed
So it's 50/50 and normal US TV?
There are no robots in the vault. There are only clowns and mimes in disguise.
Aphrodisiacs are sometimes dispensed in all the food for a day.
The exact day is random.
Once per week at a random day, an event triggers from a 100 random encounter table.
>>43641363
On other days, it's laxavites, on entirely random schedule too.
Ocassionally, it's both.
>>43641394
>clowns consume powercells in excess as metabolic catalysts
>>43641394
>The Mimes have found a Metal Gear.
>>43641345
Mimes have invented invisible weapon through the use of stealth boys
the screaming that's played constantly over the intercom is excited screams of children not the screaming fear of the Damned
No-one goes to sector 7g.
No-one will explain why.
The mimes and clowns are lead to believe that paradise is outside the vault and they are trapped inside.
He only food provided is custard pies and invisible sandwiches
The only drink provided is seltzer water
Mime rapes are an increasing epidemic, often you may discover the mangled, cum filled corpse of a mime in a dark corner or toilet, however people often think the dead mimes are playing dead and only discover that they are dead when the maggots set in.
All clowns desire to see a nuclear mushrooms at least once in their lives
>>43640532
Nobody washes for fear of removing their make up.
All formal speeches by the overseer must be done by talking through a muppet
the entire vault is "upside down". The floors are painted to look like the open sky, and there is funiture and rugs stapled to the roof.
There are occasional reports of a super mutant in a tutu roaming the halls at night.
They're true.
One of the people in the vault is a bomb. No one knows who it is.
>>43641265
seems like enough to make a story about, can we start a new one ?
There're no down stairs
Only slides
All the rooms have inflateable floors like bouncehouses
>>43641497
No, we need to finish this thread.
When it is finished, we archive it and try to get someone to create it as a mod.You know you want to experience Circus du Vault
>>43640715
>>43640733
>>43640895
>>43640955
>>43640995
>>43641015
>>43641025
MOTHER FUCKERS.
A single SJW as allowed into the vault.
Even clowns need something to laugh at.
The rival vault is inhabited by horrible midgets
Both in look and character
>>43641525
Ok. Does she advocate for the mimes, even though they hate her too?
>>43641525
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
The punishment for speaking as a mime is to have your mouth sewn shut. They will receive nutrients through suppositories instead
Small gangs of mimes have been fighting back against the clown regime, however with broken spirits and only stale baguettes as weapons, the revolutions often fail against the ever-loud honking of the clowns war cries. Any mime suspected of resisting the regime is beaten to death by spoons and clown horns, lynching followed by dismemberment is also a form of punishment. One of the more brutal cases is when a mime was force fed cream pies whilst being beaten by rubber baseball bats, he died in a pool of vomit, vanilla cream and blood.
>>43641525
It is turned into a mime, because even in this vault, nobody wants to hear them speak.
>>43640532
Dicks are the accepted currency
>>43641547
Mimes have no vocal cords.
They are born without them. There seems to be no reason either genetic or surgical.
>>43641570
No, ducks are
Food is randomly spiked with LSD
Soap, toilet paper and other hygiene products are dispensed by a computer. To receive the weekly allowance, one is required to amuse the AI.
>>43641265
Due to administrative error, the vault actually contains 105% of the inhabitants.
Nobody of the 100% knows what or who the other 5% are.
>>43641547
Any new born mime babies have their vocal cords slit open to stop them crying.
>>43641570
So sex is considered a hard currency?
>>43641585
The AI hates both clowns AND miming.
>>43641588
>the SJW is so fat she accounts for 5% of the inhabitants
>>43641525
The SJW only calls itself so because they think it sounds cool.
>>43641582
No, ice cubes are currency. Often, mimes end up the poorest citizens, as their ability to move one limb at a time has led to their ice cubes to melt in transit to a store, whilst clowns slide down corridors on space lube rivers.
>>43641601
The AI is only amused by the SJW for some mysterious connection with a long lost website
>>43641635
Holy shit.
>>43641635
...You're a monster
The Vault number is 5513 but for some strange reason the 5's are written backwards.
>>43641657
I suppose now there's HONK mechs, and bananium?
>>43641648
But all the original mimes were from France.
>>43641570
Viva la Gronch!
Breeding between clones and mimes is highly illegal, any and all sexual or romantic activity between the two groups is to be reported at once. An immediate abortion to the pregnant female is required by vault law, often done by having clowns stamp their steel-toe'd clown shoes onto the pregnant womans stomach.
only 25 % of the clown population is female.
Only 25 % of the mime population is male
Mimes are effectively immortal, but are really good at their miming abilities to the point they can stop their heartbeats to fake death
>>43641667
All mimes are subjected to baths in space lube before being thrown and slid down corridors, horrible injuries and dismemberment is a common result of such activity.
The clowns chemically castrate the mimes who have laid with their clown wives.
>>43640532
We know how this goes down, don't we, anon.
After a few decades, maybe a century or two, the vault door rolls open and the quiet of the early morning is shattered by the sound.
HONK! BUTTS! HONK BUTTS BUTTS! HONK BUTTS! HONK HONK BUTTS!
The clowns think to have had contact with aliens, but in truth mimes were at the phone
The Vault is designed to open and force out all occupants after 1337 years and is completely impregnable before then.
Vault residents must cartwheel around instead of walking while in hallways
Any and all raiders that attempt an attack on the vault fail horribly, whether this is because of the efficiently demoralizing effect of 700 clown honks followed by red haired, pie wielding figures in suspenders, or the brutalizing, saw and spike traps that line the entrance. Any captured raiders become either a clown or a mime through forced re-education and brainwashing.
The original vault inhabitants were chosen for their well developed physical attributes.
To be seen without makeup is the worst crime imaginable.
>>43641796
clothes, however, are entirely optional
>>43641796
Its more that nobody recognizes you.
The mask is your face.
The entire engineering staff is composed of mimes. The entire administrative staff is composed of clowns.
All the clowns and mimes possess least over 200 IQ.
>>43641835
Both groups are surprisingly competent.
>>43641835
Welp.
>>43640532
The vault has an infestation of dick stealing roaches.
>>43641835
The mimes have invented very powerful Stealth Boys to make objects invisible.
>>43641835
This will not end well.
I love it.
>>43641845
That worked out.
Mimes do not consider mimicking a form of art and are not hesitant to act violently towards someone suggesting it is anything else than serious business
>>43641845
Well...
Shit.
Once a month the AI chooses the least funny person and sends them into the swampy wasteland.
>>43641875
A gestapo-like secret police unit keeps watch to make sure everyone is miming in a proper fashion. Those who slip up disappear.
>>43641875
Absolutely.
>>43641908
>Quietly disappear.
>>43641890
No, once a month the AI chooses the least funny person and takes it to the closed section of research quarter, where it is violently reconverted into the opposite caste (clowns into mimes, mimes into clowns) in hope of the subject becoming funnier.
Those who get selected the second time disappear from the vault. Their fate is unknown.
Clowns are weak to mimes' invisible machinations
Mimes find clowns funny but cannot laugh
Battles are a tragedy for both sides
>>43641908
>into the box you go!
If one of the mimes dares to talk, the other mimes will use him as a sacrifice to the elder gods
>>43640532
The Clowns are in control because they have an enormous deathclaw named "jumbo." He can fly with his enormous hands
Mimes and clowns have separate brothels, but unknown to them, only clown whores are in mime brothels and only mime whores are in the clown brothels
Mimes have the vocal chords of their newborn surgically removed.
>>43641956
I need this. Rerolling
>>43641908
The gestapo mimes also have mime-torture, such as
>pretending to pull their thumbs apart
>pretending to drip water on their foreheads for hours if not days
>the invisible box
Every mime that fails mimeing correctly gets sent to the clowns to get raped into unconsiousness.
Then they stuff his ass with dynamite and feast on the giblets, all while clown music plays.
>>43640532
The most hilarious thing is hearing a mime speak
Clowns have horror stories about mimes appearing in the mirrors instead of their reflections
Mime quarters have no furniture; they must mine-sit on nonexistant chairs and couches instead
>>43641962
Its not as seedy as it sounds.
There's a certain amount of ceremony and tenderness and medical supervision.
The invisible box is actually real.
There is no way out.
>>43640532
The vault opened after the radiation dissipated. No one wants to leave the vault though, because shit outside sucks.
There is no vault door. A mime is always pantomiming one though, so nobody tries to enter or leave.
>>43642010
Invisible boxes are hell on earth
>>43642010
Mime criminals are placed into the invisible box in a central room of the vault for all to see. Everyone thinks they're just miming that there's a box, but there actually is a physical invisible box.
Everyone is colorblind but can see UV
>>43640532
The vault is the largest Vault-Tec ever built. It's the size of Connecticut, and it's under the Rockies.
The first person to leave the vault is an illegitimate child of a mime and a clown.
>>43640532
There's a vault within the vault which is due to open soon. It's full of people who have been brainwashed into fearing mimes and clowns.
>>43642087
The clown/mime vault is within a larger vault. It is filled with people who hate performance art.
>>43642010
There is no escape from the invisible box.
The vault is supplied with no solid food, only soft foods such as pudding and mashed potatoes.
>>43642103
Noone is sure how all of these vaults are able to fit inside such a small space.
Nobody is sure how, but the Vault gets fan letters from other Vaults.
No one is allowed to wear clothes, only makeup resembling clothes.
There is a number for a suicide prevention line in all the other vaults.
Its the number of a payphone in the Mime area of the vault.
>>43642136
Including the SJW
Clown criminals have their hands disabled. They are rendered little better than mimes.
>>43642127
Are you completely unfamiliar with the workings of clown-tech?
>>43640532
A mime steals a clown's nose as part of a joke. The clowns steal the mimes' suspenders and striped shirts. The mimes attempt to take back their gear with imaginary weapons. The clowns retaliate with acidic pies.
>>43640532
5 mimes and 5 clowns are released into the wild every 5 years. It is hoped that they have found their place in the world.
>>43642136
I second this.
>>43642163
I'm a Mime.
What sort of madness is this vault?
The mimes and clowns take fashion very seriously. Resulting in almost daily modeling competitions.
>>43642195
Confirmed for madness
