>that kid who owned the ball so he chose the best players for his team
>that fat kid who always went in goal
>that kid who thought he was a Ronaldo and constantly went for the skills
>that kid who just stood upfront looking for tap ins
>that kid who wanted to dribble his way to goal from one end to the other
>that pace whore kid
>that kid who played football like it was a fashion, always had his hair sleek with gel
>those queers who always played soccer
>that kid that was extremely one footed, and almost useless with his other foot
>tfw that kid was me, but because I was extremely left footed, I just played LB every time
>that kid who was always raging and yelling at everyone but played like shit
>that kid who didn't have a gf
>that fat kid who always was the goalkeeper
It was me
>that one pussy who wanted to play 2 hand touch
>that kid who thought he was a playing manager
>>68134357
>tfw skinny kid who was always the goalkeeper because couldn't use my feet worth shit
>tfw not from a soccer playing country and never played a cheeky schoolyard game
>>68134226
>pace whore
that was me desuuu.
just kicked the ball on the wings and ran and cut backwards for a pass/
>that kid who couldn't handle losing and played murder ball at the end of a losing game
>>68134226
>mfw I was a pace whore
>that kid who play as defender because too lazy to run
>that kid who was really fucking good and a great lad but his mum died and he had to go to foster care because his dad was an alcoholic and ended up selling drugs and sleeping rough while the rest of us went to uni
>>68134338
>>68134352
>>68134426
>>68134429
all me 2bh
>>68134426
got into my first fight over a football match as a kid
punched some lad in the nose after he squared up, and he was on the floor crying saying he couldn't see. was shitting myself thinking i'd done some serious damage to him so i ran home lol. turns out he was just a pussy and his big brother beat me up after school a few months later.
>>68134226
Here in Brazil we all were the kid that thought he was Ronaldo (the real one) and went in for the skills.
>>68134226
>be so good I had a football nickname
>be so good the coach from the opposite team knows your name and talks to you after the game
>be so popular, everyone wants me on their team when playing a game of pickup
>be so fast, the ref said slow down
I still hate my parents for forcing me to become an academic.
>be completely shit but could score absolute blooters or get ridiculous lucky deflections
>that American who was oblivious to the rules and kept catching the ball with his hands midfield
That was me
>>68134226
>that kid who couldn't play for shit so he instead decided to kick other player's legs and then say "I was aiming for the ball"
That was me
>>68134338
I didn't license you the copyrights to tell the story of my life
consider yourself sued
>that kid that was good enough to be picked for school team but not good enough to be a starter
two tournaments and 0 (zero) minutes of play before I gave up
Any of you guys still play ?
I'm considering joining some mates and playing, miss the grassfield
Right in the feels m8 I was a goat cherry picker
>that kid who tied a bandana around his upper arm and acted like the captain
>that fat kid who was actually athletic for his size
>>68135261
>that one manlet kid that wanted to play basketball in PE all the time
>>68134226
>that kid who wanted all the international board rule applied to a 2 vs 2 game.
>>68134804
kill them. only then you'll have justice.
>that kid who refused to go fetch the ball after he failed to score a blooter
>that autistic kid who you let play because his mother asked you to, that would pick up the ball and start running to the goal while screaming "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"
>That one kid who always had the newest shiniest pair of boots but was fucking shit.
Fuck that kid.
>>68134291
/thread
yurope on pooicide watch
>>68134226
>that kid who though he was ronaldo
Fucking hell m8 18+ only on this site
>I'll never play a match of footy with my /sp/ pals
>>68134767
This. Every fucking game looked like a fifa street comp.
>that kid who did it for free
>that moment when you shot the ball in someone's garden or roof or through someone's window and you were scared to get it back
>>68134804
>making up stories on 4chan
>that kid with the hot sister and everyone starts playing like pros whenever she was around
>>68136263
this is bait but he means fatnaldo. enjoy your you though i guess
>>68134767
True.
I remember playing a Argies vs Hues match at the beach. The Hues were really fucking good but they kept doing tricks and shit and we wanted to score goals.
We won.
>playing black kids vs white kids
>the white kids somehow always won despite the black kids thinking they were hot shit
>That 23 year old Albanian who played with 12 year olds and always shot the ball with enough power to disintegrate anyone who tried blocking
we had a lot of those in greece
>that kid from team c that got to celebrate a win because a kid from team a scored a goal against team b
>>68136595
milo, is that you?
>that kid that kept playing this babysfirstsport after age 10
>that kid who was shit at everything except kicking the ball really hard
>that fat kid that had a monster shot
my greatest achievement was blocking a penalty shot from him.
>tfw i was the pace whore kid
>tfw always freekick and corner taker
>tfw always 1st/2nd pick whenever we (group of 14+ played)
I want to go back to the 9-15 years ;_;
>tfw I was always picked last
>tfw I still played well and scored a lot
>tfw they wanted to celebrate with me and I told them to fuck off for being glory hunting faggots
Good times
>Can I play?
>Dunno mate, not my ball
>whose ball is it?
*ignores you and runs off*
>Dave, whose ball is it?
>what?
>whose ball is it?
*shrugs*
*stand watching for a bit*
*go and sit in the corner of the field pulling up grass*
>>68134888
They're not kids anymore
>>68137052
Me desu
I was always selected to kick the penalties and free kicks because I have good aim.
I was the goalkeeper the rest of the time.
>that 5'1" turbomanlet who always wanted to play goalkeeper
>that kid who would walk around at lunch time by himself pretending to look busy so people didn't call him "nigel no mates"
[spoiler]was me[/spoiler]
>that kid who woulld always kick the ball into someones garden
>>68134226
>Chosen as one of the captains to select the teams
>Choose my friends first instead of the guys that are actually good
>Everyone, including them cringes and regrets having me go as the captain
>That kid who did fuck all and only showed up in the clutch
>tfw always picked first
>selfish as hell
>didn't track back
>missed a lot of chances
I was fast as fuck though
>>68135261
I still play with my friends in local small tournaments for fun. Im fucking bad at it so i just play to drink after the games.
>that kid who always complained you kicked the ball too hard
>>68134426
>>68134945
me
Also :
>that kid that ran at full speed for the first 2 minutes and then just sat in the shade for the rest of the game
>>68134226
>that kid who just stood upfront looking for tap ins
me i was good at it tho
>go to secondary school that none of my friends are going to
>first day of PE
>football.jpg
>captains are massive built chads
>picked last because im a skinny twig
>despair.png
>teacher tells me to join whatever team I want
>fuck.png
>join alpha chads tam
>"fuck sake m8 can you go goals"?
>tell him to fuck off
>outclass everyone during the match
>next PE always picked in the first 5
>that kid who used to piss with his trousers round his ankles
>that kid who had to leave the team because he failed penis inspection
>Being able to easily lob goalies because no crossbars
>that kid playing goalkeeper that could never ever raise the ball up more than a few inches off the ground on every single goal kick
>>68135261
I play on those small pitches made of concrete for 3v3 with friends sometimes. but I'm not very technical so I just run around, tackle and pass the ball
>that kid who played as shit, but blamed everyone and everything else
>that kid who wanted to take every free kick, but was never even close to scoring
>that kid who lied he has to go home when his team was losing
>that super rich kid that owned every imaginable kit and multiple boots and always wanted to be a captain and instructed everyone else how to play since he thought he was the best, but couldn't play for shit
>>68134226
>that kid who played just because there wefe beer after the game
That was me desu
>inb4 beer and kids
Welcome to slavland
>kick ball into neighbours garden
>run into house and hide
every time
>that kid who felt bad for the kid the others were yelling and cursing at, so he tried to deliver him some assists, but it just made him look worse as he missed open goals, which resulted in the others roasting him
I-I-I'm sorry, was only trying to help. RIP
>>68134851
lmfao same also
>that kid who was good until offsides was a thing and my retard ADD mind never grasped it
>>68137242
>twf i own the ball.
>That kid with shit tons of ability but lazy as fuck
>That kid who used to score tap-ins and one-on-ones and celebrate them like mad
Reporting in
>>68136490
This is the case even on fucking online soccer games
>>68137975
keep telling yourself that, fatty
>>68137298
"nigel no mates" fuckin leld
>>68137975
this was fucking annoying
>watch that guy dribble his way through most of the opposite team
>loses the ball
>doesn't run back because he doesn't give a fuck
>>68134431
>kid in our school who was incredible at footie.
>Completely untouchable on the ball.
>Got picked up by West Ham acadamy at the age of 10
>Broke his leg aged eleven but continued to play whilst on crutches and in caste.
>Still actually better than most kids whilst crippled.
>Broke his caste playing lunchtime footie
>fucked up his leg so bad he had to have plates and pins in it.
>Told he could never play footie again
I saw his Facebook last year and he's now a morbidly obese alcoholic working on the bins.
Tfw
>That kid that was forced to play as the ref because how shit he was at footy
>They'd even take their time to give him some homemade yellow and red cards so the experience would feel more real
T-thanks guys
>>68135261
33 years
play two times a week
still fun
>first worlders will never know the feel of playing football with a crushed can during lunch break
>that mad kid because we played defending football and always won on counter attacks
It's called tactics you idiot
>the kids who would stand around waiting to be told what prescription drugs to buy when the ball went out of play
>>68134888
>Tfw had to play in goal cause fat guy was gone
>doing pretty good
>deflect ball and keep making saves
>other team player hugs me from behind
>keep playing as usual
>everyone thinks im gay for letting him
Lads
>that kid who was extremely talented and could beat kids twice his age when he was 8, but his mom was overprotective and he was a poorfag
>tfw I was that kid, I could've gotten us out of poverty
>>68139338
>this is what poorfags actually believe
What's a pace whore? I think I have a good idea from Google but I can't find a concrete definition.
>that proto-Chad who you were good friends with and who was pretty good at football but you didn't think he was outstanding
>14 years after moving away from that area, you read the papers and find that he made his debut for Bournemouth at 15 and has signed for your local SPL team
>That kid that wanted to play Basketball instead of football
Fuck that faggot
>that kid who had the newest ball but just carried it around in his hands and never let anyone play with it
now that I think if it, I don't ever think he let it touch the grass
>>68137975
this was me
I wish I had joined the football team when my m8s told me to ;_;
>>68137713
>not playing above reach height
>chooses to blast it from the halfway-line instead of passing to an open teammate
>oh no no no, it "almost went in", making it retroactively "worth a shot"
>Two mates who use to stand behind the goal and pretend they weren't playing
>As soon as someone had a shot they'd jump infront of the line and try to save it and shout "DENIED" if they did
>>68138001
Ronaldo pls leave
>>68139766
fuck this shit
I remember so many goals not being given because people could always claim
"it would have been over the bar :^) "
>>68139807
maybe you should have worked on your shot placement
>that one kid who scream "LAST GOAL WIN" when his team is losing badly
Good old time
>>68139839
Makes the game more interesting when behind 6-1 desu
>>68139480
Kid who ran much faster compared to his classmates.
>>68139894
Ok, thanks.
>>68134226
>that goalie who shouted at his defenders just like the big boy goalies on TV
>always blamed them for conceding
>OI, WHERE'S THE FACKIN DEFENCE??? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>68139894
Wrong. It's basically a Theo Walcott. Really fast but has no ability.
>that wankey clique of actual good players who refused to be split up and steamrolled the opposition every time.
>that selfish cunt that always tried to go all maradona on everyone but never scored or passed
>got angry when you didn't pass the ball to him
If you were one of these, get fucked.
that feel when
>be 22
>shittier skills than 16 y.o. myself
>slow thinking on field
>no chance to play football 3 times a week anymore
>Tfw had trials at rochdale but never filled out and i was weak af compared to the huge nigs that dominated english youth football
I almost made it.
>that kid that was worthless at everything but long shots
>that kid was me
>That quiet kid who was in the local Championship team's youth academy who would never play at school
He eventually got released and joined their feeder club's academy. We played them in a cup match and he was a fucking amazing CM, controlled the whole match and we lost like 11-1.
>That kid who exclusively attempted roberto carlos-tier blooters and ended up shattering windows
>that kid that was clumsy
>scored against his team as a goalie
I don't want to remember all the laughs
>mixed gender football matches in P.E
>girl's goals either count double, or a girl has to touch the ball, before that team can score
>that one kid who was fucking amazing at football and then years later you found out he hung himself.
>>68140186
>Year 6 (like 10 years old)
>Naughty kid is trying to be good and starts playing football with us good kids
>He goes to shoot and his shoe flies off
>Smashes a school window
>2 weeks lunch time detention
>Ends up in prison 7 years later
If only he had tied his shoe, he could be a lawyer right now.
>those kids who were considered experts for pulling the ball out of the creek which was right next to the neighborhood pitch
everyone would call on me and my friends to take their ball out. we were so proud of it, like some commando unit, and we had different tactics. If the tactics failed, just jump in the cold, green, dirty water and get it out.
we did that shit daily, for glory
What hability were you legit good at footie?
I had an awesome long and mid distance shot, always placed it where I wanted and scored screamers a la Gerrard.
I wonder if there are any player with my abilities
>very good long shots and passes
>fairly good pace and positioning
>fairly shit first touch
>usually played as CM or RM/LM, but somethimes CF
>stressed during big matches
>not a trickster, simple way of football - shot or pass or messi-style dribble
>tall, thin
>that goalie who completely changed the dynamics of the game just by ACTUALLY coming off his line for 1-on-1s.
me desu. I don't think those flashy strikers realised a keeper could even be aggressive. It was understood as a position reserved only for the weak and timid. They were basically used to being guaranteed a goal just by beating the defence.
>that pace whore kid
that was me. LW
>>68140352
I was a pace baby with great finishing ability, I could side foot it right into the corner but couldn't shoot from distance or strike the ball cleanly enough to get much power behind it. Naturally I was shoved out to LB and then dropped when the coach's son came back from breaking his leg. After that I'd get 20 minutes at the end of matches or just cover for injuries.
>One goal and swap keepers
>Everyone just deliberately lets them score
>>68135825
fucking hell
>that kid who was utter shit at football so he played murderball
>>68140352
Blooters and one touch joga bonito style flicks. Couldn't dribble for shit cause I only started playing at 14
I used to be involved in some street football type thing were we'd meet up weekly at one of those cages and some south african priest used to come who pretended he was brazilian was a good lad i remember one day some angry black lad came and he talked to him for like 6 hours and converted him to christianity anyway that was the day that i decided street football had gone too far
>>68140553
that explains english goalkeeping status
>>68140486
>coach's son
Oh god they were always the worst. Unfortunately the club I played for the coach had twins. One was a pretty good striker but the other was a god awful CB. Both would play the whole match every week and he use to wonder why we leaked goals.
>>68140584
>we'd meet up weekly at one of those cages
That doesn't sound like a football thing. It sounds more like you were a step away from being raped by a South African priest.
>that kid who'd annoy you for the sake of it and annoyed he wasn't playing and thus couldn't deny you the pass, he'd scream you were offside
>told him to fuck off
>hot PE teacher laughed at him
I was offside though.
>>68140352
Freekicks, used to move a smaller goal in front of the big goal to work as a wall, then id practise freekicks until the Sun went down.
>tfw used to take Roberto Carlos style free kicks
>Always used to blooter it into the wall
good times
>>68140648
A cage is an outdoor metal 5-a-side pitch.
>>68140352
dribbling,long distance shooting and long distance passing. played the Roy Keane role though for the team since my sunday league years were during the ones were you just want to fight people
our coach had the nickname "hitler" because of his training methods. good old days kek
I wish there'd be a /sp/ camp where we all can play footie by day and watch footie by the evening
>>68140354
also my free kicks were good, but i think thats a part of long shots
>>68140648
no it was like one of those things you see on fifa street another good one was the serb who'd come and would have a lit smoke in his mouth the whole time
>play for local team
>don't practice for a whole month
>game day comes
>i'm still on the starting XI
someone was mad
>>68137975
>tfw that's me
me on the pic.
>>68140352
Long powerful shots, discipline (often I ended up the only one defending) and passing (friends called me Xavi)
>>68140778
We should make our own club and enter in the English lower leagues, we'd get rekt weekly.
>Played soccer all my life
>move to highschool in middle of city
>no pitch
>shit at every american sport
>learn to play basketball with nignogs
was fun desu
>tfw Russian
>Family moved to the UK when I was 13
>started going to school here
>did not speak good english but could understand it fairly well
>very quiet the first few weeks at school, trying not to stand out
>one day walk past the football field on my lunch
>someone shouts 'hey russian kid' and makes me come and play football with them
>they do not think I understand any english
>however, I can make out that they are talking about me
>one of them says something like 'it would be funny if he thought this was ice hockey, russians all love that'
>really decide in that time I want to be liked
>think that it would be funny if I did what they said
>I get put onto one of the teams and someone tells me to play in defence with the other losers and fat kids
>balls comes near me
>I see my moment to make everyone laugh
>pick up the ball
>try to swing it like I think it is a hockey stick
>it slips out of my grasp
>flies really far into the distance
>everyone is looking at me, very confused
>someone tells me to run and get the fucking ball
>get scared and run in the other direction
>hide inside the library for the rest of my lunchtime
>become known as the russian kid who doesn't understand football
>roman abramovich buys chelsea
>rumour starts that I am actually his son and I threw the ball away because I didn't want to give away that my dad wanted to buy a team
>until I feel confident to speak english everyone believes this is true
>by the time I am confident, nobody believes me when I tell them I am not his son
>lasts for 2 years before the jokes die down
>got beaten up everytime Chelsea won in that period
>when Chelsea signed Drogba some african kid started trying to follow me home so he could meet him
>>68140352
Tackling and acrobatic stuff
Scored some really silly goals in the past
>>68140778
>assistant coach was an angry scottish manlet who took it all a bit too seriously
>main coach used to just talk about balinese hookers
what a time to be alive that was
>>68140778
Can't wait to get a son and play footie with him.
Also seeing him have fun at footie camps etc.
>tfw my father hated sports and wanted me to do Martial arts instead
>told me to quit football at every occasion
>all the other dads were out cheering for the team
>>68140870
kek
>That one kid that would run around pretending to be a sports commentator calling the plays
Also any Canadabros know this one?
>French immersion program
>always Frenchies vs English
>>68140904
my father likes football so we can discuss it, but I never played with him, because he was already pretty old when I was born.
I will pressure my kid to fulfill my unfulfilled dreams. kek
>>68139272
why'd you let him hug you bro
>>68140855
I'm in.
Who London Z1 here?
>school team plays town league
>next match: against the school of deaf kids
>I have pretty stupid, semi-retarded teammate
>deaf kid fouls my teammate and therefore goes 1 on 1 with our keeper
>teammate runs like crazy yelling "ARE YOU FOCKIN' DEAF OR WAT, THE REF BLOWED THE WHISTLE" and started to beating him up
>we play one man down the rest of the match
>never play soccer at all
>start playing recreational soccer at college this past year
>better than 1/2 of the Italians/Persians people there after 2-3 months
Lads, I think I missed an opportunity to be a star...
>>68140855
I wish I was in england, would like to get rekt every week with /sp/ anons until we become a meme
>>68134291
This
>>68140331
good job.
>>68134309
there are positions in soccer?
like even in pickup games?
that was never my experience with soccer. or basketball or hockey. just run around trying to get open
>>68140354
talisca, plays for benfica.
start a football manager save and play with him, he's actually promising.
>tfw adult
>tfw no 1 to play a cheeky kickaround game with
fucking shit, when everyone hits their 20's people just stop hanging out and start stacking cash
>transfer schools
>picked last because new and unknown
>score blooters
>never picked lower than 2nd again
felt good desu
>that one kid who couldn't handle a loss so he went home a got a baseball bat and started chasing everyone whilst screaming I WILL MURDER YOU ALL
good times desu
>that time you had to play soccer because you didn't have any bats or footballs
>that kid who was all time quarterback
>>68141322
thanks for the tip anon
>>68134226
>that pace whore kid
me. was literally gareth bale compared to my mates for one glorious year during puberty.
>>68141106
Luton m8, not too far.
>mfw the best players decided they wanted to play against "the rest", thinking they would overcome numerical disadvantage and lost and got mad as hell
Which one of you was this? I know you're here
>>68141391
You have baseball bats in Belgium?
>>68141478
I'm have weekends off, don't mind the distance
>>68141488
>that one random kid that would appear in the summer by himself cause he was staying local with family
>let him join in and two foot him until he cried and left
we were such bastards as kids
>>68141711
>stay home in summer while others are out travelling
>become mates with ultra chad who plays for the first team
>meet his dad who's a club legend
>play a lot with him and his mates
>once summer was over he forgot who I was and went back to his chad friends
Was a good summer
>>68137298
>nigel no mates
>that sandnigger that always has to say "ronaldo" or "messi" while he's dribbling
>>68141909
Kek
>>68140352
I was a pace whore with no other abilities. I would just run to the goal to open up space for everybody else on my team to actually score.
In real football I could at least catch after overtaking the defenders, and in baseball I made a kickass OF and baserunner. But in soccer I was just a distraction ;-;
>>68141465
>that kid that could lob a ball 50 yards but had no accuracy so every pass was either incomplete or interception
>he refused to let somebody else play
>always blamed the receivers for not getting open
>that kid who had one move only
>everyone knew it was coming but he perfected it so he would wreck everyone
Fuck you Michael
Did some of you really play with the offside rule?
>>68137519
>that kid that ran at full speed for the first 2 minutes and then just sat in the shade for the rest of the game
me. had stamina issues. otherwise i was the best player for those 2 minutes ;^). actually more like 5-10
>>68140352
Step overs and close range dribble control.
I will make you look fuckin stupid.
Can't score tho...
>keeper gets hurt
>backup gets sick
>anon just go in goal, its only for one game
>play lights out at keeper
>now not allowed to play field because I am better than all other keepers and its competitive
>just want to run around now stuck forced to play keeper and had to buy gloves and shit
fml senpai
/sp/ tourist here. this is a fun thread
>>68142196
>actually giving in and going goalie
You should have put the focus on the taller lad, better reach
>Be incredibly average at everything
>Get role changed from defender (when as kid we played 7 man football) to GK, then CB, Striker, Fullback (either side), CM/CDM and finally Centreback again
> Always praised for efforts and performances
>Still sit on the bench
>Realize that despite everything the guy with good feet will be always choosen ahead of me
>Continue playing because my team pitch is a litteral 4 minute walk from home
>KOBE
>that one kid who needed to show his dick in order to play with us
The rules were simple, if you aint one of us you gonna get humiliated
>>68142233
Thats the funny thing. I'm 5'8", not tall at all, but I have spring in my jump and as a defender I know how to rush out VS a one on one. I am the best goalie so now I have to play it in the league I am in.
We had some giant tall lanky fucker in goal but he has no coordination and would let balls go right under him so here I am.
I can't defend the upper 90 corner, but I can stop any low shot. It just gets boring in keeper.
Switching teams this fall so I can get back on the field. I am an above average defender and a speedy winger so there are people that want me.
>>68142355
I like your checker board uniforms, hvatska
>that guy who on deployment would play indoor 6v6 with the locals and third country workers and would threaten to report them as taliban if they won
>>68140352
bloots and tackles, could score from long distance and outmuscle the older guys
hilariously enough I started out as a winger
>>68138694
bulgaria is first world m80
>>68142465
Winning hearts and minds a see.
>>68137975
This is /sp/: The Post
Everyone wants to believe they could've been great at something if they would have tried harder or if their parents wouldn't have been made them focus on other endeavors.
Delusional
>>68140352
can use outside and inside of my foot as if they were the same, decent pace too
crap dribbling and stamina tho
>>68142812
>tfw D1 scholarships for football but turned them down after 3rd concussion
would have been a GOAT mike but glad I chose an academically focused uni instead
>that one paki kid who never passed the ball and ended up getting hacked all the time
>>68134385
fucking this
he was our PE teacher's kid and tried to "manage" our lunchtime kickabouts. We just told him to fuck off and one time he came back with his mum and she reffed the game like it was a PE lesson and made us all do what he wanted.
>>68142812
we all could have done it m8
>it's a "teacher lets all the fatties play for the school team just for fun and we get destroyed every match" episode
Fuck your Mr Dixon and your its just for fun attitude
>>68140870
this is very good
>>68137575
I do this in nightclubs for a laff
>>68137763
lmao In my team we had a fat kid in the defense that was extremely bad but served the purpose of kicking the ball to the mid field each goal kick
>in middle school, 11/12 year olds
>most of the ethnic kids (immigrants and people like me born in US to immigrant parents) always played during lunch hour
>soccer was BANNED cause some kid got hit in the face with the ball and broke his nose.
>we hated him after that and thought he was a pussy for crying
>>68140045
>playing with them
You either play with fair teams or fuck off m8s, this ball is mine
>that kid who always tried to pee on everyone under the showers after the game
>>68141275
you can still hold a position if you like, even in pickup games
>>68136595
wow dude, that takes me back
>have a sad sack organized u-13 team
>we were all a nice group but we were pretty average
>in comes meme brazilian kid STRAIGHT FROM BRAZIL like all those shitty soccer movies
>he is actually very good, taller and twice as skinny as us
>we do a little better but still get destroyed 7-1 in the playoff
>meme magic isn't real
>>68142812
that's literally true
>that kid who skateboarded in the bus loop at lunch instead of playing football
was pretty cool sometimes big crowds would watch me and my buddy ollie over people and do tricks.
wish i took team sports more seriously tho.
>>68142111
Only if someone was retardedly offside.
>that kid who always plays quarterback because he owns the ball and sucks
>>68142387
you sound exactly like my best friend. same height as you, exact same thing happened where he filled in as keeper, and ended up being dominant. he ended up sticking there all through high school and his club teams, got offered a spot on a Division III college team, but there was an older, taller, and probably better keeper in front of him, so he never ended up playing a minute and quit. he's still so bitter about becoming a keeper. he's playing as a winger on our men's league team and he's the best player on the field every game in a league with a lot of ex-D1 and D2 guys.
if you're still young and have any actual aspirations of playing at a higher level, switch positions now. you'll never be taken seriously as a 5'8" keeper no matter how good you are.
My coach called me "Mancini" because I was a slow but good technician.
>>68143619
Yeah, there were also the ultra-albanians, they came in summer season to work in farms and fields in the villages.
They were good lads most of the time, but quite scary.
Not football related but these threads always make me remember how dumb and socially awkward I was as a kid.
>Hot girl who I had a crush on got her mate to ask me out in year 11
>Say no because I thought it was a joke
>Also in year 11 go to a mate's party
>Hot girl asks me if i'd like to go into the back garden with her
>"N-no t-thanks, I'll stay in here"
>Solid 7 had a crush on me through out most of secondary school
>It was blatantly obvious
>Never made a move because she was my mate's ex
>Year 10 same mate started sending my younger (about a year younger) sis dick pics
>>68143784
The Italian or the Brazilian one?
>>68144073
Roberto
>>68144013
I also have cringe stories
>upper 6th form
>got paid £15 a week to watch the lunch hall and shout at misbehaving shits while I ate at lunchtime
>used to just sit in a corner with music in my ears and food
>moderately hot, clever, and nice girl from lower 6th sat with me one day and we talked about music and shit
>she sat with me every day for about 3 months listening to music with me even though I knew she wasn't into my music, would occasionally put her head on my shoulder
>could not even dare to imagine that she liked me
>she stopped waiting with me one day
>best friend told me he shagged her (didn't know I liked her), but that he felt bad because afterwards she told him that she liked me
I would have married the fuck out of her, but now she's travelling and posts pictures from balinese and thai nightclubs where she's with big black men and cool private school white boys
>>68143083
Some people are failures and should die for the better of humanity. Mr. Dixon must be sacrificed
>>68143782
Yeah I am 30 now, so although we went to regionals for adult mens soccer, we are more of a group of guys with jobs that play hard then go drink. I am not to worried about it at all. We dominate the local adult leagues, but when we go out of state we end up playing against a bunch of college kids and although we never get blown out, when the 70th minute happens and the other team can sub in 7 19 year olds at once, we can't keep up.
Although if we mark tight, nobody can put their backs to us and turn around us, because we are bigger and stronger than the lanky speedy youngins.
One of our players is 50 years old but played in the scottish premier league when he was young. His knees are blown out so he can't run fast but the guy can take a free kick and put it onto a dime. And his throughballs are magic.
We're a drinking team with a soccer problem, and we have fun.
tl;dr we do it for fun, so I am not going to go to another level in competition. But I bet I am better than Bradleys lazy bald ass.
>>68137975
me tBh
>that kid who claimed he had a trial at Man Utd
That russian that said he is good so you bring him in but he constantly bitches, yells for the ball, and when he gets the ball he dribbles it right into the defender's foot and loses it, then bitches for a foul.
>>68143864
good lads for sure, except for a couple of anti-social elements.
I was the only one who could GK when they played. You just have to get over your fear of the ball.
>>68137430
Me in basketball
I know this is a mostly shitposting thread. But i would give anything to go back to those moments desu
>>68144742
#FREE LEXPLORER
>>68144490
>went to a party at the end of 6th form
>sat on a sun lounger with a drink and a spliff back when smoking weed was edgy for me and not just normal
>drunk classmate came and sat on my sun lounger with me, smoked a bit of the spliff
>asked "can I sit here?"
>told her no because she was blocking the sun and making me uncomfortable because the lounger was only meant for one person
>she got up and walked off without a word
>mfw
>that CB Who would just put his laces through the ball every time he got possession past the halfway line
>>68144790
is he still in jail?
>>68144939
Nearly 5 years. Still has over 4 to go. We should write him a letter. I bet he got punked in prison. Not just for being a little bitch but for making threats to kids.
>>68144727
I don't know mate, I vividly remember one of their shots hitting me barely in the heel and falling down like i was hit by a car.
Where are you from btw? I haven't been in Greece for years but I was thinking of going for holidays this summer,probably where I grew up.
>>68144490
just use it as experience lad, don't turn down a qt interested in you next time
>that kid who played the entire match with a lit cigarette in his mouth and would go into coughing fits every time he sprinted past defence
>>68144013
>>68144490
I'm full of cringe stories
>I was one of the best in my local team.
>There was a match
>Local girls came to watch
>Played really good
>After the match when I was going to cabine they just applauded me and said 'anon you were great' while they approached and they clearly wanted to talk wat do after and shit like this
>Spaghettied 'thanks' and ran to shower
Also bad luck
>school league
>my "gf' came to watch
>I kicked a very strong long shot
>goalpost, ball approaching towards audience (this was a handball sized pitch)
>oh fuck
>ball hit 'gf's face and she instantly became to cry
>>68144930
That was me
Scored the first time I did it. Never managed to recreate it though.
>>68145131
This guy speaks the truth. We all fucked up one way or another a sure thing. Just learn and adapt.
If you haven't spilled spaghetti at least once you're not human
>>68145131
Oh I'm 30 with a mrs and 2 kids now, so it didn't affect me that much. I just look back and think what the fuck man
I'm sure we all have
>that kid who dominated the try-outs but was rejected by the 1st team coach in favor of his son who was a year older than everyone and was demoted to the second tier team and got a shit coach who destroyed every bit of confidence this boy once had
guess who
>>68145151
I played a game of pickup hockey with a 13 year old who smoked the entire time
>>68145243
This nigga is right.
I spghaettied with a cute who liked me in HS. Met her again now 4 years later, and we're dating. It's nice to bring up those times and laugh about it.
Turns out she really liked me while I had a crush on her too, but we never kissed or anything because of all the spaghetti
>>68145039
>the sound of the ball ripping through the wind before it hits you in the neck
Poor area in Athens
>>68144939
He should be
>turned himself in
>for a joke threat
>on the internet
Clearly he was fucking sick and needs to sit in jail
>>68145322
>that JV kid who suddenly made varsity starting right back after the team was "anonymously donated" new workout clothes, uniforms, balls, and charter bussed to games.
He wasn't a bad guy, but he wasn't the best player and his dad was rich AF
>>68145346
Good for you. Next time you cum in her whisper in her ear "FREE LEXPLORER"
>>68145493
There were about 5 different points where if Lexplorer wasn't a faggot nothing would have happened. He brought it all on himself.
Death to tripfags
>>68145196
>Spaghettied 'thanks' and ran to shower
pure alpha right there
>that kid who would support a European national team because his great-grandparents immigrated from there and go back to not giving a shit as soon as they lost
speaking of ladies
>when I drink my game is really good, I can get even 9/10s to like me (I met nearly all my ex-gfs and romances)
>when I'm sober I'm wack af, no self confidence, can't find a topic to talk about etc.
feels bad man
>>68145196
an excellent example of target fixation.
She should be flattered really..
>be me
>14 years old
>extremely uncoordinated, not particularly athletic, shit ability on the ball
>yet stupidly brave and really committed
My job literally consisted of blocking shots with my face.
>be me
>first time in new team, friendly arranged for that day
>don't know anyone but one of my teammates
>half time
>coach asks me what position do I play
>"i prefer cb"
>"you'll play lw"
>score magical lob on my first touch
>everyone thinks i'm the shit
>play like shit for the rest of my life and never score again
it was a good 20 minutes tho
>>68144013
>6th form
>Girl who I always thought of as one of the lads starts being really touchy and cuddly with me
>Thought nothing of it
>Drunk at a party and she tries to get with me
>Told her no and that it felt wierd cause she was my best m8
>She moved away a year later
>Have only spoken to her a few times in 4 years since
>Have a huge thing for tomboys now
Why didn't I see it at the time lads?
>>68134226
>go to the park with my dad, brother and local lad from my class who lived on my street when I was like 7 to play football
>put down jumpers as goal posts
>I go as goalkeeper
>tfw local lad from my class scores easy tap ins against me from 3 yards out and runs away celeberating doing the Alan Shearer
>I can't take it anymore after he does it for the 100th time
>Start chasing him to beat him up
>My dad grabs me, gives me a smack and tells me to stop being a sore loser
>My older brother can't stop laughing at me
Funny memory looking back
>>68140352
I have always been hilariously bad at footy, but whenever in class we had to play an unusual sport (like field hockey or other shit) my competitive spirit and my basic understanding of tactics always made me one of the best.
>>68145444
I see.
I grew up in a small town near Larissa called Elassona.
>>68144013
spaghetti, i have mastered the art
literally have rejected girls above my level because spaghetti
i just couldn't figure out what they saw in me
i'm not even bad looking, solid 7,5/10
years later a girl told me that personality and status matter more, plus for some reason i smell so good it turned them crazy
I never knew.
>>68134338
I did this for a while as well. Used to stay up front in hope of a tap in cause I was so shit, and when the ball would obviously never get to me I used to blame my team mates for not finding me with my excellent positioning skills
>>68145833
Is this you? #respect
>>68145873
in reality, you dont miss her, you miss how her attention made you feel.
You miss the sensation of being liked, you miss the sensation of spontaneous affection.
The longing you feel is just another of your attempts to plan something that can never be planned.
Learn to welcome what you cant control, and stop trying to control what is out of your reach.
If anything you should cultivate your reactions to what you cant control.
>Hope i dont sound like a faggot tbqh
>>68144827
You actual spaz m8
>>68145837
this was me
Played 6 -a-side on astro with some new mates from a new job but I'm pretty terrible and told them that. My first play was a totally flukey little chip over the CB (didn't mean to, miscontrolled it) followed by me running past him, somehow making an amazing touch, and scoring off the inside of the far post.
They put me CF from then on and I scored about three goals in about ten 6-a-side games (normal goal count in each ten minute game was about 5 goals) and then someone called me shit and I was like "I did fucking tell you" and then they dropped me to the bench and I stopped playing because all I did was sit with a fat polish guy and smoke and I don't even smoke
Anyone remember penalty deciders? Amazing memories
>>68146219
>Anon, it's your turn
>>68146125
please don't, I think about this at least weekly and it was over a decade ago
back when minidisk players were a thing
>>68140315
haha i lold pretty hard, thanks dad
>>68136595
>t. Stavros
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mYssEXILjc
how to become fast in mind, anons?
The main thing why I'm shit now is that I always have to think what to do with the ball, and that 2 sec delay is too damn much compared to how quick I was thinking in my teen years
>>68139807
this so much
>>68139894
RARE
A
R
E
I might go to Lebanon this summer, good idea?
>>68146463
just be confident, 99% of creative stuff happen on the spot, it's not a product of thorough thinking.
Lot of times I have questioned myself
>how the hell did i pull this off?
>>68146624
Thicc arabs are my fetish
>>68146701
same la'
Should go to Morocco, I've already been there. Very thick women
>>68147047
Are hook ups possible or will you get slaughtered for trying?
>be mediocre player at best
>Always played RB
>had a lot of "heart",actually not bad
>Much worse at football, keep playing that instead of soccer
>Intense regret
Now I just play pick up games at the req and every day while I'm here in Spain, and have gotten decent. Not picked last anymore when I go play pick up, which is nice.
>be me
>around 11 y/o, get into local team
>first game, friendly against rival local team
>get subbed in for the last 20 mins or so
>score 2 or 3 goals (i don't remember how many)
>one of them was a chip
good times
>>68147193
Hello Juanfran
>>68147088
They are possible. Rent an appartment as a holiday rental so you can take a girl back, rather than hotels as they don't allow you (have to show a marriage certificate). Don't tell the people you are rentin. fromg that you are planning on taking girls back, just say to them that you are going to stay on your own. You might have to go into the appartment separetly so people don't see you going in together. Its quite a nice feeling t b h when you go on a date with a Morrocan girl and Morrocan guys stare at you so butthurt and other Morrocan girls look at the girl all jealous.
>tfw felt a Morrocan girl up underneath the table whilst sitting having dinner with her family during ramadan
>tfw made out with a different girl who was a THICK hijabi in public in a secluded street whilst waiting for a taxi
>tfw take said girl back to the house that I was renting which turned out to be right next to where her aunt and uncle lived. She waited round the cornor until no one was around to come into the house. When we got out her aunt was down the street and she literally turned away from her and started walking as quickly as possible in the other direction. Luckily her aunt didn't see us. Hijab is quite an effective disguise.
>tfw walking down the street in Marrakech at night, its quiet. Walk past two girls who are joking around and say to me "hey beautiful". I turn around and talk to them and walk with them until I get to my hostel. I asked the older girl where she lives and it was right next to the hostel. Talk and flirt with her a bit more. Some people who live in her neighbourhood can see us who are next to the hostel entrance. I think to myself "fuck it", and make out with the girl. Get her facebook, say goodnight to her and walk past said people to get to the hostel feeling like the shit. Check her facebook the next day and people left annonymous comments on her ask.fm calling her a slut for making out with a European guy.
Fun times desu.
>>68146079
More or less.
There was a kid with absolutely insane shot power, who always appeared to be on the opposing team. He once smacked a ball so hard at my stomach are that I fell over and couldn't breathe for a few minutes. Nutmegged him the next game tho, because he couldn't dribble for shit.
>>68146636
This. When I was like 16 I would always think I had no skill and would play very safe. When I grew up a bit and stopped caring I realised a lot of skill is just based on instincts. Now when I play 5-a-side I just try whatever skill I can when in the moment and it comes off 90% of the time.
i think shooting ability is pure instinct. never knew anyone who could reliably demonstrate it without referring to natural talent
>>68145837
Happened to me too.
>hey anon what position do you play?
Usually sweeper
>oh go run out on the left wing
Score a sick one touch goal for the first time I scored in years.
Shit up left wing the rest of the year because its not a position I do well in. Put me in the back.
>>68142060
>>68147704
that's true, I am the opposite. I had self-confidence when I had good skills in my teen years, the gone to uni, first year I didn't do any sport, had a slight beer belly, I not felt the pitch, played slow and shit. Now I'm recovering, but my mind is still slower.
> that kid who was introduced to the other half of the year by my popular friend who said i was 'really good' because he liked me
> that feel when they slowly realise i'm total shit
> that feel when after 2 years in the final year of primary school people start telling me i'm awesome
> that feel when win the best player trophy in soccer camp
shit niggas i dont wanna boast that's honestly my proudest moment
>>68142931
And your dumbasses listened to her?
>>68140045
> tfw they ruled over us for years
> tfw by the end a group of us were so determined that we got good, they started asking us to join them
> tell them to get fucked and stay loyal to to the spaz's
> games are now competitive
>that kid that didnt want everyone to know how shit he was so he just immediately passed the ball and pretended he was a good #10
IT WAS ME BARRY, IT WAS ME
>>68147704
Me too, when i play in the league matches my whole team think i've got bricks instead of my feet, when i play with friends 5/7 a side i can pull of tricks and some sick plays almost perfectly
My guess is probably the different pressure i have when playing, being relaxed helps a lot
>that kid who sprayed a full can of Lynx after a lesson
>that kid who showered in his boxers even at 16 years old
>>68149171
> t. a typical german who is a nudist
>>68149207
Always shower with the lads after a good workout and always make sure to hit the magical 30% of a chub before you remove your tighty whities. More than 35% and you're gay lad
>>68149207
>not playing a cheeky match of crab cock with the lads in the showers
>>68135261
i play with nine friends 5v5 once a week, fun as fuck
>>68134226
>that kid who was fucking unstoppable, looked like messi playing in the vanarama conference in school tournaments, turned pro and turned out to be a below average footballer, relatively speaking.
>>68148754
mfw this is literally me
people underestimate how hard playing centre mid is. you only see half the players at any given time.
>>68149777
whoops forgot pic
>>68149662
>nine friends
>5v5
>>68146463
well you have 2 options
to dribble or to pass
>>68134226
I fear for kids who get in school yard brawls over a game nowadays. Back then we beat each other up and settled our differences and carried on the next day like it never happened. Fighting at school might get children sent to re education camps these days
>>68143784
Hey! I know you
>>68134291
Yup
>>68137180
That's why you were picked last
>>68137052
I LOVED playing with those kids cause you know if you give them a look they'll fire off a MISSILE and make you look brilliant.
Plus I can't shoot.
>>68146463
The secret to any sport is not thinking.
You have to react and move in the rhythms your game demands.
In basketball, I like to practice shaking people in different spots. It helps me build muscle memory for when im in the moment and ready to execute.
"Thinking" about my movement is something I actively try to avoid.
>>68149842
Did you fail math at school?
>>68150258
what do you mean?
>>68150333
9 friends+you=10 people
>>68150333
m8...
>>68135261
21 and still play almost every weekend when i come home.
5v5 hungover saturdays/sundays on grass pitch are the best thing in my life currently desu
>>68150487
tfw i would be doing this if my parents didnt fucking immigrate
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I WOULD OF PROBABLY PLAYED WITH YOU AT SOME POINT
we never played with offside rule desu, lads
>>68150357
>>68150395
>mfw americans are smarter than me
>mfw always played
goal
>mfw went 10 days without allowing goal at recess
elementary school was cool
>>68150595
it's one of the best feelings ever. Everyone from our childhood squad went his own way, everyone either goes to college in another town (because my hometown is not that big) or has a job etc.
You don't see any of your friends for like months and finally one weekend you all come home, and have a cheeky footy after a night of excesive drinking.
Can't wait to come home in 2 weeks
>>68135261
>used to play all the time in college
>cut class with roommates and play
>usually go to the fields where turf or grass was available
>approach a group of 3 spics to see if they want to play
>gather up 2 african kids so we can unite the goals
>get those irish fucks to play so we can use an entire field
>one or two randos join
>soon we had GOAT 11 on 11 full field pick up games
>tfw college is now over
I will never had this feel again
>>68142060
robben?
My only real ability was being a good passer, I looked up to players like Beckham and Iniesta when I played more competitively. I was the first person in my family to play as an attacker, my dad was a CB and the rest of my uncles played at the back. I would do anything to play with them in their prime
> Play local rec league and end up being shit because of it, also had poor eyesight so I wore pod racer sports goggles
> join the travel team in middle school and get pretty good even though we lost every match first season but dominated the year after.
> the offense was made up 2 turbo manlets and 2 lanky Mexicans including me. Play our rivals who would always talk shit since they reked us first season but the season after the got banged up by us.
> play the girls team in a scrimmage during a community event, we rekt their shit 8-1 first half, I score one with a pelvic thrust like a cheeky lad (they had a handball pen when the goalie tried dribbling put and our RB fucked up) we don't play 2nd half due to humiliation and we were at the bottom of the worst state division and they were top of theirs.
> qt. Italian girl on the other team would come up and try to talk to me whenever we had home games and I'd sperg out and mumble a "thanks" whenever she's compliment the game. she's playing in the women's MLS league now, could've had a sugar momma
> play a season of Rec league for fun with the LB from my team and our GK and begin to dominate to the point where we did a 3-2-5 formation with them up top and I was a mid fielder.
> developed my passing play since I couldn't fuck up passing to 5 attackers, ened up with 36 assists. Kept passing to the slow fat kid for easy tap ins and it made his parents happy and to the Indian kid who got too excited when he scored.
> play as a striker for a end of the season cup match score 7 goals het subbed for the Indian kid to keep me rested for the other games, we win the cup final 5-3
>>68135261
Play 5v5 with my mates every Sunday at Powerleague. TFW I know that it will one day end :'(
>>68146123
This was actually nice greek bro
>>68150725
Kek
>>68135825
This fat guy I used to play with always used to fucking do this. He lost my ball and another guys ball 2 days in a row because he thought he was fucking stevie G. I've never seen that ball since he booted it into a fucking allotment which was all fenced up.
>can I play
>oh you got next
>next game comes around
>big nig arrives just as you're about to jump in
>sorry big nig wants to play, you can play next after that though I promise
>literally just sit there and watch as you never get to play
>tfw used to play ASS
>one touch keepie uppie but whenever you flop you get given a letter
>if you flop 3 times you lose
>tfw you'd have like 15 guys shooting a football at your ass
>literal PAIN for the next 2 days
>>68140352
Mad good first touch out of the air, pretty sweet at volleys and acrobatic stuff. I'm a terrible defender and not really that good at shooting.
>grow up short and skinny as fuck
>enjoyed playing sports and was decent to good at them
>put in a lot of effort in gym in school because it was very fun to play with classmates and talk about it in class later on, always picked near first
>played soccer, flag football, basketball, little league in organized leagues as a kid, not the best kid but pretty decent
>best qualities are my agility, endurance and hand-eye/foot coordination
>high school hits, age 14
>everyone else starts going through puberty while i don't
>everyone starts growing beards, getting muscle mass, and improve their speed
>suddenly i significantly lag behind everyone
>still enjoy and play well in gym class, but freshman year of high school was the last year I played soccer (the only sport i hadn't dropped), and I pretty much was just a benchwarmer because i was now slower, shorter, and weaker than most everyone else
Felt pretty bad man. I don't know if anyone else here felt these feels, but oh well
>>68134291
Only an American could post this
>>68140352
Was fat and slow so I always kind of a stayed behind to help in defence. Ended up being GOAT in reading opponents, true libero of my team. When it was 1v1 I could take away ball from anyone no matter how fast or a good dribler they were.
Eventually got tired of being fat so I got in a good physical form, got cocky thinkin I could do more than "just defend" only to fail miserably due to lack of experience. Nobody would talk shit to me because I kinda became more confident so I kept failing until I couldn't defend anymore while still being shit at attack. Now I just suck
>>68134226
>That 4'0" midget who pretended he was one of the kids and would constantly grab or hit your ass and you couldn't do anything about it because he was the best player on either team and you had no idea he was in his 20s until he got arrested.
Not football related but I was the kid who
> scored 1000 points my freshman-junior year in basketball at 3A high school
> move after my junior year to 1A high school.
> coaches son starts over me. This short skinny unathletic fag who "ran" the offense well
> I dominate in practice
> every other kid wants me to start and play
> about 65% of the season is gone and we have losing record
> I'm averaging 2 minutes per game but 7 points
> a guy who I became really good friend with who hate the coaches son intentionally puts his foot under the son on a layup attempt.
>Sprains his ankle
>I start next game
> no lie score 46 points
> we win by 2 points
>The last 8 games go like that
> go 5-3 in that 8 game span
> I know the coach can't stand it
(small high school athletes would understand the amount of parent ass kissing that rewards play time)
> anyway during sectional playoffs
> I score 48 points
>we lost by 5
> high school bball career over
Now unemployed and play once every so often in a church parking lot.
I miss high school
>that one British kid who tried to make everyone follow professional rules in a casual game
>>68164431
>not winning state when you were ten and leaving the game forever
>>68134226
>that kid with some dribbling skills who would never pass up the ball
>The skinny kid of average height who was always thrown in at CB
Me every fucking time
>>68134226
>the kid that grew faster than the rest and would play striker physically bullying defenders, start lots of fights and bloot half of his shots to the moon
that was me, sorry
>>68154611
> Kept passing to the slow fat kid for easy tap ins and it made his parents happy
t-t-thanks bro that shit helped me get through high school
>>68137763
Fuck you got me.
>that kid who comes back thinking he is the shit after summer training camp with Pele (or insert famous player here)
>>68164431
kate bush qt
>boys playing a girl's game
>that kid that was barely good enough to warm the bench of the youth team of a big club but was footie jesus when playing with his lads.
>>68166656
go on reddit to get some karma for this
Here's a feels story for you:
>be from eastern europe
>brother signs up to a youth team
>I go to watch their games after school
>there's a gypsy kid who is unbelievably good
>literally messi tier, capable of skilling the entire pitch or through balling past 10 players or blooters or whatever you like
>he's 14 and easily destroying 16-17 y/os
>not selfish in the least, ends up getting like 30-40 assists per season (no one counter but I distinctly remember him passing for almost every goal)
>nice, friendly kid
>youth team has him on a contract so they pay him a tiny amount of money
>he's perfectly happy living off scraps and giving money to his deadbeat dad and mom
>has one pair of pants, spends ALL his money on new boots and shit and lives in an absolute dump
>will easily become a superstar, already famous among the big teams at the age of 14
>gets mercilessly humiliated by everyone in the team
>lads start defending him cause he's a nice kid
>team gets racist coach
>team has racist management
>they refuse to sign him up to a pro contract when he turned 17 even though he was the best player in the country
>they never played him even in youth matches
>they didn't let him join another team (there was blackmail involved)
>got told he would never be a footballer
>I forgot about the kid
>be in my hometown a year ago
>get a taxi to a football match
>he's the fat, greasy driver
>still the nicest guy I've ever met
So many manly tears desu
>>68166708
>be from eastern europe
>>68166776
Maika ti she eba
Go ruin a dota 2 game
>that guy who couldn't be arsed to run upfield ever, but was awesome at tackling and positioning so he was still an early pick every time
Vivi you were awesome, but Jesus Fuck what kind of young kid can't be bothered to attack and always stays on defense?
>>68166838
chip shanone
>>68140352
Getting hit in the face and not bitching.
Kicking the other team in the shins.
>That kid with a temper who would always shoulder barge and kick people when he lost the ball
>>68166880
me desu, defenders are born, not moulded
>>68137526
me tbqh
was always rather skinny/lanky and got understimated, but i had the best dribbling and vision on the field always
>That kid who was decent in defence but almost
always picked as goalie where he couldn't do jack shit
>>68138694
We did this. Went to a school full of malnourished chavs
>that fat kid that if lost weight would be good and may become a pro
tfw that was me
by the time i lost weight it was already too late
>that kid who gave post game relaxing massages to his teammates and ocassionally opponents
>>68142111
Goal hanging was a big no-no, though some cunt would always do it. That aside not really.
>that kid who would try and enforce the back pass rule when playing a playground game
>>68134385
>that kid who wanted to be the freaking ref
>>68140904
>not listening to your dad
>choose a semen-slurping sport over martial arts
Typical yuro assblaster
>>68168406
dat feel, dat damn feel
stop
>that guy whose only enjoyment is breaking legs and ruining tricks
>that guy whose only enjoyment is humiliating defenders rather than scoring
OFF THE PITCH WITH THOSE TWO
People like those cause 95% of fights.
>that guy that only ever performs if his gf is watching
Guy had no skillz, but a body like superman and a tactical brain to match. He made for a perfect Gattuso like player. Aside for that time they were on a break, dude was so mad he broke ribs on a tackle.
> that poor kid whos parents could only afford to let him play european kickball
>that kid who was the ultimate tap-in scorer but pretty shit at everything else
>>68143754
>bus loop
No way you are part of our commonwealth cus
>>68134357
Tfw me then
>>68134386
Tfw me now
>>68172586
tsu?
>that kid who was so good that even got to a big team's inferiors but never made it to the higher levels because he dedicated himself to studies
>>68140352
Vision, first time finishes, making runs. I was legitimately good at seeing passes, I only ever got praise from talented players when playing in midfield.
[spoiler]but I loved to play on the wing and >cut inside instead[/spoiler]
>that kid who totally dislikes football but still played tons with this friends his whole time, even if he was shit
>>68138694
I once kicked my shoe on top of an electricity substation when we were playing with a squashed plastic bottle.
It was right at the end of lunch time at school and I felt like a right knobhead.
>>68142931
I screen cap'd this
I can't stop laughing jajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja
>>68139492
Leave Najera alone
>>68140352
Kicking shins and great through balls. I'm dogshit at striking though
>>68139839
RARE FLAG
>>68135261
I play in city's amateur league.
It consist of 4 divisions(16 teams, 16, 16, 32), and 8x8 sunday(three divisions) and even 8x8 youth league for 14-17 years old.
Now I want a bmw m3 to tide on trainig because i fucjing hate public transoort
>never was really very good at football, would always piss about when we played it in pe at school
>always enjoyed watching and had a great understanding of the game though
>played again recently at the age of 22 and muh anxiety is so bad I can't make a decision on the ball, feet are really uncoordinated because of it
>feel embarrassed to play even against my friends
Anyone else know this feel?
>>68176221
Years of being stirless sat in front of my computer had me out of condition to play sadly but I never lost my coordination probably you played uncoordinated when you were a kid but didn't realize it or you have some kind of condition in your bones fucked up spine maybe?
>>68134226
>that kid who wanted to dribble his way to goal from one end to the other
even when I played in the goal I tried to score
>>68176625
kek, I remember that when we played futsal, most of the times the goalkeeper palyed as a libero who could use his hands in the area.
>>68134371
thats everyone after the age of 14 tbqh. after puberty its just dangerous
>>68135465
i have a buddy like that. fat pile of crap but is goat in absolutely everything we do. drives me insane. basketball, football, softball, cornhole, everything. i have a pretty good arm and can outpitch him so i take small comfort in that when we square up on wiffle ball or baseball. hate being opposite him in anything else
>tfw getting fat and old
>my athleticism slipping away
>eating like shit more often and excersing less
brb going for a run
>those kids who would play football outside and scream so loud that it would mess up your game of Dungeons and dragons
>>68136598
top bantz
>That kid who would always get "hurt" after he either fucked up or made a good play.
>>68139480
Someone who wants to control how fast or slow the game is played. One of the most famous pace whores of the world was Zinedine Zidane.
>>68134291
This 2bh
>>68142246
ciao Padoin
>>68177400
This. Riquelme too. Fucking pace whores
nice to see 4chan can still be good ... comfy bread is good bread
>>68140994
Holy shit that was me!
>>68140215
Oi I thought the Swedes were the cucks
>>68140352
Pace whore, good stamina, horrible technique. I tried to play it simple because whenever I tried anything slightly flashy I would just fuck up.
I never gave up and my proudest moment was scoring a shitty pop up to bicycle kick.
>>68146062
You got them pheromones lad
Lucky bugger
>guy who spends as much time sliding-tackling as he does on his feet
I always played Fullback, so really nothing too exciting happened, I'd mainly just clear it up the line hard as I could till around high school level. But I was good at stealing the ball/getting in passing lanes.
>Guy tries to meg me
>I trap the ball between my knees
>team talks about how sweet it was at halftime, calling it some "Matrix Shit"
Really the only time I can remember being praised for anything. Playing on defense is mostly shit for motivation, but I played hard so I never had to see the other team get a free chance on my goalie.
>playing soccer for PE
>don't have a clue what i'm doing
>get to the goal
>clear shot
>boot it
>hits the top of the goal and bounces away
>>68137298
Norman no pals in Scotland kek
>the kids who thought it was an AND1 mixtape and would turn the ball over everytime
>>68144490
she was using you as a time whore
you were her friend she spent time with you listening to music and doing girly shit while she was using your friend for a good dicking
>that kid who took schoolyard soccer seriously and played 20v20 games on a 3/4th sized pitch where the pitch was inclined towards the middle and the grass was thick with clovers and had patches of slippery mud under the crossbar, who would be shit most of the time and never got to take free kicks or penalties, but could hit the bar from halfway without pressure and could score amazing goals at unexpected times
That was me.
God damn, I miss those days
>at my little brothers soccer game
>brother was about 6 at the time
>fields are really small
>10 minutes before game starts
>just messing around with a ball on the field and killing time
>decide to kick the ball
>hits a little white girl in the face whose probably 3 or 4 years old
>she starts crying and her mother is trying to make her feel better
>everyone there saw it was me
>too autistic to go up and apologise
>walk away and sit down on my chair and pretend it never happened
I remember my time in middle school. My school organized 7v7 tournaments between all classes, from first year to third.
Partecipated all 3 years as a starter and I rarely sat out. First year as a full back. Second year as a goalkeeper (still remember the match of my life, 2C 2 - 1 2D). Third year back as a full back. We never won a tournament, but we always ended up amongst the top 5 classes. Those were good times.
>>68135260
>slovakia
Why even live.
>that kid that was shit, but when we were winning 10-0 would just pass to for a laff
>>68141469
>>68141322
>that greentext story of the guy that used to play with Talisca and even gave a bike to him because he was poor but he was the best player in the team
>>68168835
>that team that would always abuse the fact that no one enforces the back pass rule in an unofficial game.
Faggots would readily pass the ball back to the person who was playing goalie under any sense of pressure.
>>68197877
back in my school we could only make a team per class but since my class was a sausage fest and lots of people wanted to join they made an exception and let our class form 2 teams, the match were we would play eachother was in one of the last weeks of school, we spent the whole year shit talking eachother saying shit like " we're gonna 7-1 you noobs" and all that jazz in the end the game ended in a staggering 1-1 draw, biggest disappointment of our lives desu
>>68197877
School football tournaments were absolutely amazing. We had 2 per year, one at the end of each semester, meaning that the first one was an indoor tournament.
My class won once, we held a little victory parade, brandishing the trophy to all other classes. They threw paper balls at us lmao
>>68134226
>that kid that never ever scored a goal nor was of any help with the ball in his foots
>yet first choice always even above talented players when teams were made up
>that kid that played central defense like it was a rugby match
>tfw nobody wanted to play against that wall of kicks and physical contact
yep that fucker was me
>that chad kid who played for the citys best academy and was better than all of us
>that really quiet kid who was even better and ridiculed him because he didn't like him
that kid was fucking awesome, thanks imi
>>68162428
feels
>>68140352
I had above average field vision at a young age, and I was a really accurate passer, so on my middle and elementary school teams I was our deep-lying playmaker.
>that kid who stepped in a hole on the pitch and dislocated his knee
We called him Messnee
>>68146463
Same thing will happen with your dick
>that kid who wondered why India and Bangladesh can't into good futbol
<all the desi kids who played sucky futbol then drank pepsi after the game
>that girl u knew was the hottest, watching your every kick ball
>>68216192
I would the thique one on the right 2bh
>>68137298
That insult is so British
In school I had no friends and was banned from playing. The 'cool kids' let me stand on the side of the pitch to run and get the ball when it flew off. They called me the 'bollock chaser' and said it was because I loved chasing balls
I remember one lunch I refused to go until I was allowed to play so 3 of the chad kids took their testicles out of their pants and physically chased me away until I either sucked their balls or got the ball- I got it in the end.
Fuck them. I could have become a pro with daily football sessions.
I started playing field hockey when I was 10, despite knowing nothing about the game and being very unfit. In my first half year I was tried out on several positions and was shit on all of them. Eventually I was put on right back and I got better.
In the next year we started playing 11v11 and I became a servicable centre back whose main tactic was intimidation. (On occasion I would mirror the opponent's striker's every move, even when the ball was on the other side of the pitch) My other quality was directing the striker to our sweeper, who was by far our best player.
In this second season, we finished second in our competition. We elected to have one more training session to wrap up the season. I was awarded 'most improved player of the season' and we played one final practice match, in which I dislocated my kneecap, rendering me unable to play any team sports for the rest of my life.
As for feels, about a month ago I was sitting in the pub and suddenly the first team of my old club came in to celebrate winning their league. About half of them used to be in my team. It was fun to hang out with them for a bit after all these years, but I do really miss sports.
back in the day we had the best rivalry
>year 3s vs year 4s
>fights every week, we hate each others guts
>us year 3s never win though
>one cold, wet winter lunchtime
>we put in our best effort yet
>scores locked at 0-0
>lunch time nearly over
>year 4s are attacking
>ball gets booted out, keeper is nowhere to be seen
>ball lands in front of my feet
>open goal
>I go to shoot
>I slip over and miss the ball completely
>lunch ends and game ends 0-0
I got given so much shit for that but the year after I made it up and scored both in a 2-1 win which ended up being our only ever win. After a while we all ended up being mates and the rivalry fell apart.
>>68134226
>that kid who played video games all day and had no friends while all the other kids were playing sports outside
>>68134291
>that britbong girl that always wanted to play soccer
>walking past a bunch of kids kicking a ball about
>one of them passes it over to me, I hit it on the half volley and flick it over my head
>lands in a rubbish bin maybe 20 feet away perfectly
>skip class watching everyone try to recreate the shot
>nobody can
felt cool as fuck that day
>year 5s vs year 6s
>winner gets to use the field and the losers had to fuck off
>we're getting dicked like 10-0
>"LAST GOAL WINS"
>fuck it, smack the shit out of it
>top bins, outside curve, literally had fucking everything
Those were simpler times anons.
>that one kid that chocked on his own vomit when he had an epileptic attack.
Good times
>>68140315
I don't think he had enough criminal energy to become one.
>>68134291
FPBP
>>68134806
t. Chicharito
>that kid with the billiards table who knew he was hot shit cause everyone wanted to come to his house after school
>the guy who would body everyone and the win ball, but then would instantly blast it long bc he had no confidence on the ball
Suicide was my only cure
>>68140352
Was a good goalie, knew when to advance and when to stay in goal, could dive well.
Was always shit with my feet though.
>>68140870
kek
Anyone else played for a pro club youth team?
Although you always get picked first, it still kind of sucked cause EVERYONE was trying to foul you and shit on some "Oh you play for ____, you must be hella good, let's see what you got" type of shit. There was definitely some pressure in destroying these scrubs, i had people specifically mark me in some games, like they wouldn't even try to score a goal or be part of the game, all they did was trying to prevent me from scoring kek sometimes it's even worse today since STILL except me to be great, although i haven't played football regulalry on club level in over 10 years
>>68137298
>yfw Nigel still hasn't mated
>tfw I was a pace whore
>>68137298
I thought it was Billy No Mates?
>>68220251
This, and I wasn't so perfect player, I just trained with the best youth club in the country, but rarely get selected to 18 squad (we were like 30-35 players). Then I transferred to a village club where everybody had a huge expectations, every player asked me what it was like to play there etc.
>mfw I played on similar level as them
>>68134291
>Those amerilards who never played any sport at all
>>68220413
they were world class at hot-dog eating competitions tho
>>68134357
I was this fat kid, but i was a really good goalkepper 2bh... until i just got shit at it.
>>68136562
>playing black kids vs white kids in basketball
>white kids always lose because apehoop
>tall, strong gypsies with beard played in u13 opponent team
in your country players didn't cheat with the squad registration?
>that kid who did a poo on the pitch and the ref trod in it
>>68220385
The pressure you're exposed to is unbelievable, sometimes you're afraid of going to a training session lest you fuck up and have the coach scream at you for 5 minutes straight, the worst coach i had (although he was one of the best looking back) was a 50 year old choleric guy at my U13 team who humiliated you in front of the whole team if you missed a sitter, like he would repeatedly show how easy it was to score the chance, then you had to repeat it like 10 times and he wouldn't stop make you do it until you scored every time. Some kids literally cracked, they couldn't handle it and at the end of every season you were praying to still be at the club the next year, cause like 1/3 of the team was sacked and replaced with new guys, you had no life besides football as well, which on one hand kept you out of trouble (like i didn't even had a drag on a cig until i was 18), but on the other hand messed your social life up, it was all football, didn't even lose my virginity until i turned 20, before that my only love was that stupid ball ;_;
>>68220523
haha if I missed a single training my coach would come to our house to check if I'm sick
>>68134226
> tfw when you nutmeg someone flawlessly
>>68134226
>Play for 25 minutes scoring goals and shit
>One minute before school recess finishes "Whichever team scores last goal wins" regardless of what the score was.
Was this a thing in your country????
>Gol Gana
>>68220568
Of course it was, it's called "Letztes Tor entscheidet" here, there is also the 3 corners=1 penalty rule when you play in a cage or similar pitch.
>be absolute shit at footy
>somehow get set up for a goal
>score a left foot volley
>everyone goes mad
>get picked again next game
>proceed to be shit again for the rest of my life
never forget that one time lads
>that kid who was the worst on his team
>that kid who would kick ass in school matches
I did switch down to a lower team but I was too good for that team yet not good enough for the top team. Had to choose play competitively for 15 mins and win or play 90 mins and lose.
>>68142812
Nah man, I know someone exactly like that guy's talking about.
On my high school baseball team there was a guy who was really great. He was playing 3rd base on varsity and hitting homeruns and shit as a freshman. During practice he was always the slowest when running laps because he'd jog so slow it was barely faster than a walk, when lifting weights he'd just fuck off and not do shit unless the coaches were watching, he'd only do squats with like 150lbs or less... He had so much talent but just didn't give a shit. After a couple of years the coaches pulled him from 3rd base and just made him the designated hitter because he was too lazy to put much effort into fielding balls. If he'd actually put effort into working out, practicing, and playing then he would've had a promising college career at least but last I heard he's been in and out of jail for shit like drugs, DUI, assault, etc.
also, I knew a guy who was offered a full ride to a D1 school to play basketball but he didn't want to quit smoking weed all the time so he just stayed in his hometown and went to community college instead...
>>68220568
LOL there was always a kid yelling that shit. Then they would score and grab the ball and act like they had blown us out.
>>68217340
Did he died?
>those mexicans and girls that played soccer
>those kids that never wanted to play defense
no wonder Cahill is our best defender
>>68134357
>mfw everyone always told me to be goalkeeper because i was shit and tall
>mfw always told them to go fuck themselves
>mfw the coach told me to go in goaql and i just played as CB and would have to sprint back when the striker came
>that kid who got to play pitcher cause his dad was coach
>that time you said something to him and be told his daddy and you got put in right field
>>68136562
Yeah, a lot of Africans in my area think they are Messi because they hail from great nations like Liberia.
>>68140845
I remember using him in Career Mode on FIFA 13. Scored a lot but never moved up in overall. Sold him back to Sao Paulo.
>>68140045
>tfw when you organize a team of athletic benchwarmers and beat this clique 3-1 in a school-sponsored charity event
life was fun in school
>>68140352
Good at free kicks and tackles, was a good leader
Terry-tier pace and not the best dribbler or skills person
>>68140904
Haha
My dad wanted me to play American football or basketball.
>that kid that never use hands and gives up playing as goalkeeper fucking up whole game
>>68140352
I was GOAT at passing and interceptions
Decent long shot, GOAT no look crossing. GOAT curve as well, i was hella inconsistent though
I usually played mid, but sometimes played fullback when everyone ditched the defending role to attack
>>340423210
>that kid who played in defense and always thought he was dictating the game pirlo-esque despite not actually being good
Me desu
>>68221350
>>>340423210
What the fuck?
>>68221350
>always thought he was dictating the game pirlo-esque despite not actually being good
Toni Kroos is that kid
>Dumbers
>>68221414
>Razor HoeneB
>>68166708
For those who TLDR:
>le shitskin kid who didnt even have enough money for food
>but le talented at football
>le evil racist caoch comes along, tells him he can't be a footballer
>>68221385
Literally no idea why that is there
>that kid who insisted on playing in goal despite being a manlet
>that kid who whilst not technically good was the biggest try hard on the pitch and pressed players like there was no tomorrow
>mfw I had that kid on my team and told him to man mark the opposition's best player - he literally followed him around for 15 minutes straight
>>68141378
>tfw I once scored 3 goals during the last minutes and helped my team win
Could keep this up for like the next few months before I started choking hard.
>>68134309
robbin?
>that kid who was picked last
>that kid that nobody ever passed to him
I was that kid.
>That kid that would fake an injury before losing as an excuse to cry
Did you people really have to ask the ball owner? if I wanted to play I'd ask the closest player on the field and he would shout it over to the others and they'd say 'sure' 9 out of 10 times.
>that senior who never got playing time but put in alot of effort and worked hard in practice every day
[spoiler]me[/spoiler]
>>68140352
Literally inzaghi m8, slightly more finesse.
>tfw I played Gaelic football instead of soccer a lot when I was younger and actually caught the ball from a kick out.
I still hear them laughing
Middle school gym class was co-ed and made for the funniest "that kid" stories so here goes.
>that girl who would wander over to the side and chat with her friends instead of defending
>those six kids who actually played with any effort whatsoever
>those same six kids who lobbied the gym teacher to play with the offsides rule
>that kid who would start kicking people as soon as his team was losing
>that one guy who would just kind of jog uselessly for two steps and then just walk around semi-near the ball
(No, Michael Bradley was not my classmate. Close to my age, but not my classmate.)
>that girl who outweighed, and was like a foot taller than, everyone and would just muscle them off the ball but couldn't shoot for shit
>obligatory "that fat kid who was goalie"
>shy aspie girl who was actually good at defense and seemed to have no regard for her own safety so she'd stop the ball with her face and stuff
>those kids on the sidelines who would get into fistfights like soccer hooligans, but they were fighting about Pokémon cards or something, not soccer
Being in NYC, our schoolyard was strangely shaped (and on the roof, surrounded by chicken wire) so we also had:
>that kid who once managed to kick the ball through the one hole in the chicken wire and it fucked up some guy's car five storeys down
>those five or six kids who would kick the ball into a corner and then crowd there trying to kick it back out, they literally did this every game
Now I play pickup games with the other guys in the lab where I work, everyone's pretty good. (There was this one dude who managed to get hit in the head and nearly get a concussion literally thirty seconds into his first game though.)
>that kid who wore gardening gloves when he played in goal
>that kid who had an encyclopaedic knowledge of european football because of fifa
>that kid who wore those trainers that looked like boots
>those kids we where all in awe of who in the end weren't even good enough for non league
>>68142060
Based le cut inside Michael
>>68222774
The grip on these is phenomenal. I used them for Gaelic and were brilliant. Good choice of gloves.
>>68140352
Always been very talented at adapting to every position except on the wings (fullback, R/L midfield and winger), and also been very good at taking control over games where ever I played. Unfortunately way too lazy so I just ended up being a normal guy like everyone else in this thread. Now I can't run for more than 5 minutes before I get absolutely exhausted.
My best attributes was probably my passes and just pure fighting will. My body could be fucking exhausted but I never gave up in my mind so I kept running, tackling and creating no matter what.
>inb4 liar
Fuck you alright, I could've been a pretty good player some day but wasted it on FIFA, late nights and alcohol.
>>68140352
nothing
good thread
>that kid who always threw the fucking ball whenever he got angry
good thread lads, one of the best threads sp has had in a while
>>68135261
Almost everyone I know still plays some games every now at them.
uni students, coworkers (you can see 50yo guys playing some games sometimes)
>>68135261
Still play in an amateur league
>that kid who grew up with a pacey skilled cousin so got really good at marking and passing to get the ball to cousin in good position
>>68140352
Defensive - chasing, jockeying and tackling. I was mediocre to shit at everything else.
>>68140352
Marking, passing, stamina (without this Iwas shit), long shots, "una baldoza" dribble. No pace, bullshit air play.
>be brazillian
>suck at football
JUST