![cristiano-ronaldo-415-jose-mourinho-crying-after-winning-against-barcelona[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/yVBJeEK.jpg "cristiano-ronaldo-415-jose-mourinho-crying-after-winning-against-barcelona[1].jpg")
>MOUYES
JUST FUCK MY CAREER UP SENPAI
Jose Mourinho has been confirmed as Manchester United's new manager.
The former Chelsea and Real Madrid signed his contract at a London hotel at around 5pm on Thursday to take charge at Old Trafford.
Mourinho met the executive vice chairman of Manchester United, Ed Woodward, to conclude the talks earlier in the afternoon, symbolically wearing a black and red tie for the final stage of negotiations.
The deal is completed on the 12th anniversary of Mourinho winning the Champions League with Porto; during that run, the Portuguese club knocked out Manchester United.
Mourinho, who has been out of work since being sacked by Chelsea in December, replaces Louis van Gaal, who was himself dismissed by United two days after they won the FA Cup by beating Crystal Palace 2-1 at Wembley.
this year is our year senpai
>>67860786
>Mouyes is back
Can't wait. The media are gonna get sick of him real quick this time, people are sick of MUH MIND GAMES still.
I unironically think he will fail
the manure job is literally the madrid job 2 since fergie left
all that media shit plus mourinhos antics with the press
plus all their players except de gay, smalling and martial are shit now
>>67860877
just enjoy the trainwreck la
he finally got his dream job
could see him being there for the next 10 years desu
>>67860786
chelsea supporter here;
enjoy having a pretty good year, a winning year, and then a total collapse the following year. it's been his pattern every where he goes, and he's done it at chelsea twice. though, i welcome mata's return to the bridge.
>>67860901
>mou in a job for longer than 3 years
>>67860901
>Mourinho
>Succeeding in a job for 10 years
Kek. Players get sick of him after 3 years, unless he had a huge churn of players I highly doubt it
Seriously hope he flops in the first year then gets sacked.
Can't wait to laugh at all the United plastics wanting this prick in the first place.
Now, we can all agree that this is the Meme Teme of Dremes, right?
![BD-PHUnCAAEWxIH[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rvDtaGs.jpg "BD-PHUnCAAEWxIH[1].jpg")
>>67860786
win or lose, it's going to be hilarious
Confirmed confirmed or confirmed "confirmed"?
It's fucking hilarious how many ABUs are writing out all their fantasies of him failing and talking about how much of a bad decision it is.
You will be crying your eyes out this time next year, losers.
>>67860979
"confirmed" confirmed
this is gonna be a fucking train wreck. the most arrogant manager combined with the most arrogant fans. itll melt down
>>67860979
It's confirmed, but the club will make the announcement tomorrow.
>premier league run in this season was nothing but mutual respect between managers
>The fighting was done on the pitch to see who was the best team
>Now LE EPIC MIND GAMES MAN is back to fill up 1000 Talksport phone ins with his hilarious antics
>Half the discussion will be about shit he says about other managers and teams
Fuck this, Mouyes is a cancer
>>67860962
Would rather top myself than watch that team ruin the mighty reds
>>67860979>>67860997
http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/10293151/jose-mourinho-appointed-manchester-united-boss
CHELSHIT FANS ON SUICIDE WATCH
STAY MAD ABUs
>MOU
>YES
Silver lining for Arsenal fans. Instead of losing 4 games a season to Mourinho and United, you will now only lose 2!
>>67860985
>3 of the last 4 seasons without winning shiet
failing is not something new in mourinho's recent career
>chelski
>manure
kekking at both desu. atleast one is gonna get cucked
>>67860985
First year will probably be United's year but after that, it'll all come tumbling down and I can't wait for that day.
>>67860786
Fuck him. United deserve better, our tradition is to train and develop a good youth team (e.g class of '92).
Not buy the league.
All we're doing here is becoming like any other cunting club (city, Chelsea etc)
Look what this creature did to the last team he managed, took them to 16th in the league.
I would rather have Van Gaal for 10 years than put up with this cunt for 5 minutes.
>Mou vs Pep
>Mou vs Klopp
God this is going to be amazing. This season is going to be like the current US presidential elections, an absolute shit show.
Who /revingupthose>mouyes/ here?
>lets get the man who got sacked 2 times in last 5 years at any cost
lmaoing@man utd
>>67861055
First year rebuild
Second year win the league
Third year get btfo
Imho
>>67861079
Nice to see a true supporter and not a plastic cunt like the majority of united """""fans""""""" here.
5 YEAR CONTRACT
KEK
K E K
Should have appointed Giggs. How can they not realize Giggs would be the GOAT like Pep at Barca and Zidane at Real?
>>67861119
>Mouye5
>>67861091
>Three year cycle!!
Reddit please.
>>67861128
>>67861079
same
might stop watching for the 2 years hes here and start watching fc united
>>67861128
>zidane will win the cl
>everyone's favourite simeone will get btfo
Based
>>67861083
>Mou vs Pep.
>Mou vs Conte.
>Mou vs Klopp.
>Mou vs Wenger
looking like a fun BPL desu
>>67861079
>>67861105
>>67861148
Hello false flaggers
>>67861172
Stupid prat. I have a Man United calender hanging up.
>>67861083
>>67861156
No it's just gonna be the same repetitive, classless nonsense as usual from Mouyes.
He'll make snide remarks when he's on top, then accuse everybody of an agenda when he loses.
Mouyes stopped being entertaining a long time ago, the only people who still get excited by his """antics"""" are Talksport dickheads who prefer talking about shit like this to actual football
>>67861172
season ticket holder you plastic cunt
>>67861119
>2 years working
>1 year alienating
>2 years severance package
>go manage portugal nt
the mouyes 5 year contract plan
I would expect manure to know better after the moyes 6 year contract fiasco, but they don't
>>67860786
Sacked by Christmas, lads.
Screencap this
>>67861202
wew lad
This means Arsenal start the season with a six point deficit
>>67860851
Somehow Matilde's face looks like It doesn't belong.
hes gonna run out of clubs soon
maybe he can go to international management
Will he bring Rio back?
United just hired the best coach available at the moment. That's also why they hired LvG.
>>67861236
he cannot spend like a madman in international managment
>>67860966
Poor Bastard...Can't catch a break. Where will he go next?
ABUS ON SUICIDE WATCH
>>67861245
i wonder if mouyes will get merked
>>67861245
Rio looks like a porn actor.
>>67861259
How do you think Spain got Diego Costa?
>>67861236
Should've went to AC Milan. Rebuild his and their reputation. Doesn't even have to win, just get back to the CL.
Reminder that mouyes managed the team that was partly responsible for Gerrard's slip
>>67861287
only if his mouth is the pussy
THE EUROPA LEAGUE IS OURS M8
>>67861295
>current serie a
>repairable
>>67861287
I really like scenes with the guy being that skintone and the girl pale as fuck.
>mouyes
>>67860786
The thing is, it doesn't really matters who United get, as long as they're going to fire him after a season or two.
And it's going to be pretty funny when he doesn't deliver in the first season.
>>67861301
based
>>67861306
kek
>>67861323
Just like Louis? Only reached 4th and wasn't sacked
>mouyes
Haven't seen ABU's this shook in years
>>67861306
Absolute kek
>>67861313
B R O W N E D
R
O
W
N
E
D
>>67861083
>>67861156
>fun
The season's going to be HILARIOUS!
>>67861340
>wasn't sacked
he was, like a few days ago
>>67861340
>wasn't sacked
>>67861370
>moulet
Mourinho's first thee games
>Mou vs. Borussia Dortmund (Friendly)
>Mou vs. Manchester City (Friendly)
>Mou vs. Leicester (Community Shield)
>>67861370
>american woman top right at the very end of the webm
>>67861172
Perhaps some of us remember a time when managers were not sacked every 5 minutes and we trained and bought forward our own talent? Look at BASED SIR ALEX'S first few years in charge... a bit of patience is required.
What happens when this rat is no good? And the guy after him?
>>67861406
They're only going to play 2 friendlies before the Community Shield?
>>67861406
and?
>>67861406
>friendlies
>games
>>67861418
>What happens when this rat is no good? And the guy after him?
Liverpool
>>67861433
Memes my friend. Memes.
>>67861340
SAF is both a blessing and a curse to United.
He made them the greatest, but also made every single one manager who comes afterwards a flop.
They might get back to being title contenders but not to the extend of what used to be under SAF.
>mfw mou wipes the floor with lester
>>67861324
That was a great day for all us ABLs
>>67861426
>Euro 2016/Copa America/Olympics 2016
Players need rest
>>67861406
lel he'll go 1000% against city
>>67861445
trip on sosa
>>67861444
he made the fans think manchester united was goat rather than just him being goat
now they expect to win just because of their badge
>>67861445
>ABLs chatting shit
>all these posters especially the americans who are happy just because they want his retarded behavior and tinfoil faggotry
So lelepl fans are teens?
>Mourinho's first press confrence
I am the _______ one
>>67861504
It's all the underage pricks who came to /sp/ in recent years from twitter and /v/. They love his "hilarious" outbursts and classless insults towards other managers
Why is mouyes going to yet another mid-table club lol
Is he done ?
>>67861526
>muh class
back to your containment thread
>>67861523
Focused one, I bet u m8
>>67861523
literally will watch just to find out
why did it all go to shit with chelsea? And why won't the same happened again?
>>67860966
Stoke
>>67861504
m8 epl is like the casual league
its the most casual league in the world
>>67861565
>why did it all go to shit with chelsea?
Players get burnt out on his bullshit pretty quickly. And he can't turn it around when it goes wrong, rather than admitting his faults he blames everybody else and cries conspiracy
>And why won't the same happened again?
It probably will, unless he manages to buy an entire new team every 2 seasons
>>67861445
This, pls.
How do you pronounce >mouyes?
>>67861523
United
mou has lost his magic
>>67861491
Well, IMO the Moyes-era squad should've done much better than how they did. This season wasn't all that bad. They ended up in 4th, innit?
This just speaks a great deal on the importance of the right man in the right place.
>>67861587
>unless he manages to buy an entire new team every 2 seasons
That would mean selling the old team every 2 seasons, so not a completely invalid tactic.
>>67861614
>moyes
moys
>mouyes
mooyis
>>67861526
4th place trophy, how does it feel?
>>67861079
lol, course you've never bought the league mate, ickle man united are the little financial underdogs against city and chelsea :(
>>67861633
You think i'm a City fan because I said Mourinho lacks class? Kek
>>67861614
mooes
or maybe moo oyes
>>67861641
dont m8 they think having 1 billion plastic foreigners giving 10 quid each is better than 1 plastic foreigner giving 10 billion quid
>>67861614
Moo-yes
>>67861642
You're clearly an Arsenal fan. One season snagging 2nd (when you should have finished first with points to spare) doesn't change your reputation.
Nice. Maybe he'll do what he did at Chelsea and have them languishing in the bottom half of the table for 6 months despite having one of the best squads on the planet
Fucking idiots actual want this loser managing their club.
>>67861665
Haha and what have United won since Fergie left?
You've got 1 FA cup, we've won 2 FA cups in that time.
So you have no right to mock MUH 4TH PLACE TROPHY when we've finished above you every season since Fergie left
>>67861614
moyes but moo instead of mo
ABUs are actually seething ITT, holy shit.
The real cucks here are Chelsea.
>>67861665
>United fan trying to mock Arsenal for finishing 4th
LVG and Moyes got sacked for failing to finish 4th, and arsenal have done better than United every season in that time
>I can finally post >Mouyes again
>>67861686
seething with laughter senpai
if you got mouyes in 2004 i might be seething. this is like hiring capello or lippi or lvg in 2016
>>67861710
This complete and utter butthurt. So delicious
>Arse fans mad as fuck because they thought they could avoid another season of Wonga being cucked by Mouyes
o i am laffin
I am backing Wenger to finally overcome the Mourinho curse.
>>67861708
this desu
>>67861696
partly this too. depends how he does
Yes! my trip is relevant again
>>67861702
>>67861683
>literally the best chance of Arsenal to dominate English football
>waste it away, win 2 measly FA Cups then fall back to irrelevance now that United are back
Beautiful.
I for one, would like to congratulate Arselel fans on their one-per season, summer signing.
And would also like to remind you that you are still to sign the striker you need to rise above 4th
>>67861734
not sure, even this season with chelsea in relegation and mouyes being sacked felt like he was still above wenger
>>67861760
im jelly desu
why would they even want mourinho?
>>67861884
memes
According to Opta, Mourinho has the best win rate (66%) of any Manager in eplel history, including Chelsea's shambolic start to last season.
>>67861910
Not difficult when the only teams you have managed are oil teams and you bail pretty quickly when things go south
>>67861910
hes the only manager that got to only manage clubs with infinite money in epl history
>>67861910
It's ~63.5% if I use the wiki numbers.
>>67861937
kek
>>67861910
That's cause man aims to try and get sacked before is win percentage gets ruined.
>>67861370
Lmao what a cuck
>>67861884
They just want to win anything
>not the fa cup
>>67861702
Both clubs have been shit since Ferguson left United. The main difference is that Arsenal haven't won any relevant trophies since 2003/04. At least United were good when they had Ferguson.
>in b4 finishing top 4 and then getting eliminated in the last 16 of the Champions League every season somehow counts as a success
>>67861734
He'd have to overcome the United curse as well.
>>67861773
Arsenal's form against Chelsea was abysmal this season.
>>67862188
>in b4 finishing top 4 and then getting eliminated in the last 16 of the Champions League every season somehow counts as a success
c-couple of FA cups too
>>67861734
He still managed to choke even mid-Mourihno breakdown
>>67861048
I browse /r/soccer too, bro.
>>67862400
>going on leddit
kill yourself florin
>the team Mourinho has won the most games against is Liverpool
kek
First for
>mouyes
>>67862415
hes probably played them the most to be fair, i remember they always used to draw eachother in cup competitions the first time he was at chelsea
Hyped for all of Man United's top young players joining Middlesbrough and Sheffield Wednesday on loan next season to help his mates out.
>Mourinho and Zlatan hate Pep so much that they are willing to unite forces on his rival team across the city.
>>67862445
leltic too
>>67861287
His wife died, so he probably gave her aids
>>67862466
Forgot about the Rodgers/Mou link and all. Good clubs for those players to develop at though.
>>67861498
>Dat Assmad Wenger time going to happen again
>Dat Assmad Pep time going to happen again
JESUS MUH DICK
>>67861683
What has Arsenal won since Arsene stayed?
Yeah 1 FA cup in 10 years. Enjoy your 4th place next season and paying out of your anus for season tickets.
>>67862466
Blackett me once, shame on you...
>mouyes utd
>pep city
might follow the epl this year
>>67862564
Don't forget
>Klopp Liverpool
>
>>67860846
That's not how it works.
Maureen's first season will have ManUre running SOMEBODY (Leicester?/Shitty?/Arselel?) for the title
Maureen's second season will see ManUre winning the PL, probably something else too (FA cup?)
Maureen's third season will see all the success of the last season fall to shit, same as he does at every other club.
Strap yourself in, lad. It's gonna be a bumpy ride...
>>67861614
>mouyes
moe-ys
Why is everyone act as if this is a good move when Chelshit and Shitty got the better coaches?
>>67863065
m8 what has conte won
dont give me those rigged serie a titles
>>67863065
>better coaches
Conte is a meme from a one team league and Pep's successes were literally with uefalona and then taking over the champions league winners bayern from a one team league.
>He's going to regenerate City.
lol no, he couldn't even regenerate Barca before leaving them to rot.
>Mou is Utd managers
>MON will win us the Euros
I'm okay with this's.
My sides
Manure fans spent all season blasting Van Goyes for defensive football, and then laud the arrival of the king of busparking
>BREAKING: Sir Alex Ferguson out of retirement to coach Arsenal after Arsene Wenger is found dead in a Nando's bathroom. He says, "I was always secretly a Gunner. I was immensely jealous of Wenger for getting to manage such a illustrious club." Arsenal has also stirred up the transfer market with a 150 million pound bid for Barcelona star Lionel Messi. Sources say Messi has been spotted at the Emirates and the deal will be finalized in the next couple of days.
>>67863187
At least he wins when he busparks.
Van Gaal busparks then loses 1-0 with 0 shots on goal
>>67863233
Pipe down u shit cunt
mfw Mouyes has conspiracy hissy fit as Manure crash out of Europa to Rubin who now?
>Thursday night football.
Oh my fucking sides.
>Scweinsteiger
>Scheinederlin
>Mr potato head/ Shrek
>Smalling own goal man
>Phil "smash face into grass" Jones
>Fellani!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO
There's no stopping this downward spiral. You're the new Liverpool desu
>>67863598
ladies and gentlemen: the sad state of the typical ABU
>>67860962
>james
JUST
>>67861330
De Gea
Lichsteiner Smalling Manolas Shaw
JoaoMario Kante Rooney James
Zlatan Martial
Is there anybody who can realistically stop us next season?
>>67863695
Just take your (You) and leave
>>67863598
smalling is ok
could have added some of the other useless ones though
>>67863187
>2 of mouyes teams hold goal scoring records
>hurr he only plays defensive
>>67862939
>Maureen
>ManUre
>Shitty
>Arselel
HESKEY BEAST RAPE CHICKEN LADOTELLI NANDOS XD
>>67861766
They've just finished 2nd?
>>67861523
Mourinho
>>67864242
>not calling them manure
>not calling them arselel
are you new here?
>>67864328
No, this place has always been strewn with LADbible tier humour from 15 year olds. It's cringeworthy.
If Jose and Zlatan win the Premier League nobody is getting out of this alive
>zlatan is 35
when has a 35 year old striker ever killed it in the premier league? can't work out why everyone's getting so excited desu
>>67864858
Drogba in 2009-10 wa probably at least 35.
>>67864858
I dont get this whole Zlatan hype, hes always been trash in big games/clubs.
>>67864568
Fuck off then.
>>67864858
If they can win it with a late twenties RVP they can win it with 35 yearold Zlatan
>>67865329
i'm not convinced. interested to see him in the PL but i think he's going to be a passenger who scores a few good free kicks
>>67860877
He did a pretty good job at Madrid (how many league titles did they win after he left?), specially considering the circumstances. At Manure, he should have more power to get rid of rats, given how desperate they are.
>>67860932
There was no collapse at Porto, the first sacking at Chelsea was due retarded ass board who bought players they wanted and forced him to use them, there was no collapse at Inter either and how many managers did last 3 fucking years in Madrid? Rafa couldn't even last one season.
>>67861008
Half of the discussion this season was about Lester meming it, that won't repeat itself and Mourinho is a great addition to make the league more interesting. The whole he vs Pep narrative, bringing Manure back to glory, laughing about Wegner, the potential reaction of Chelsea supporters.
>>67861090
He also won 4-5 trophies in that time, reached the CL semis 4 times too.
>>67861734
More like the curse doubled, Chelsea cucked Arsenal without Mourinho while having their worst season in decades. So Arsenal is getting guarantee rape by United and Chelsea now.
>>67861287
the dude who you always find fucking traps with a green full body spandex suit on?
>>67866029
Actually, Arsenal's record against Chelsea wasn't that bad with Ancelotti at helm IIRC.
>>67866233
Kek, yes.
>>67861409
Good eye m8
>>67861079
You had Moyes. You could have stuck with him.
And now you're going through managers like a Welshman through sheep trying to chase instant success. This is the club you wanted.
The way I see things turning out is that Mou will be a huge success at M an Utd, for about ten years or so,
Gaurdiola will be in trouble, and will have a very shaky ride for a couple of seasons.
Conte will be sacked around Christmas.
We shall see.
>>67861766
>thread about Mou
>this assmad ABA still has to remind us that we aren't a plastic money club
>>67866242
Carlo is a nice guy, probably didn't want to traumatize Wegner. Same with Claudio. (Wasn't Arsenal the only team doing the double on Lestah?)
>people unironically rating Mou as having 'entertaining post match interviews'
We need Holloway back in the prem to end this meme once and for all.
>>67861008
The amount of shitty managers at the EPL this season was the reason Lester won it.
Mou will fix that.
Mou will be confirmed just 12 hours lads.
It's like waiting for Christmas.
:D
You prefeer poop over mouyes though? Or is Tottenham the right choice for the next season?
>>67861245
What is Mouyes position on chips?
>>67860851
>going to an event with my dad
>i know, i'll let my tits hang out
wtf?
>>67872036
Could you imagine how awkward it would be to date his daughter and go to Mou's house to meet him.
>tfw moyes will never come back
>>67871775
>muh wife made the best chips ever
He'll be good
Mou works best with sqauds of players who are either
A) Well known 'good' players who have yet to win anything (think big money 24-25 year olds)
B) Old timers looking for one last blowout
C) Clubs in general that feel that they 'should' be winning things but have been failing of late
He'll probably be fantastic desu
>>67871775
He's just been confirmed lads. Check BBC.
>>67878677
Do Americans even have 'chips'? You have Fish and Chips over there, right? Do you call them 'Steak Chips'? So thicker cut things? Not fries?
It's been like 10 years since I've been to America and I can't remember.
>>67861523
Only
>>67866233
that guy ramon used to do straight porn, but literally fucked a chicken or something and got dropped by most studios
Was praying this wasn't gonna happen. Next season with Pep, Klopp, Conte, Poch, Wenger looked like it was gonna be a lot of fun, now it's all gonna be about HURRR DURRRR MUHRINHO EPIC MIND GAMES DURRR CALLS WENGER A DOG FOOD EATING SNAIL SO EPIC.
>>67861523
multiple fired after spending hundreds of millions on players and barely winning anything of note
>>67861324
>Brenny in the backround
Every time
>>67860786
>>67872418
I may be shit but I always get back on defense, he'd never Mata me, i'd be fine.
Chelsea reject 2 - Electric Boogaloo
>>67880162
they call fish and chips 'sea meat and fries'
>>67880397
is this true?
>Mourinho.jpg
>RandomNiggerTellsYouToLookAtHimAndThenInformsYouThatNowHesTheCaptain.jpg
>>67880365
>screenshotting your own posts
>>67872036
kek
>>67866700
>Conte will be sacked around Christmas.
He's probably the best out of all the managers next season. I expect him to have a rough first couple of games in order to find the formation for his team then go on an insane winning streak.
>>67880521
>>67872036
samefag
>>67880551
3 titles in Juvewinslol league doesn't mean shit.
>>67862939
>Leicester?
kek
>>67865169
would rather get it from here than facebook
>>67880582
he did manage to reach a cl final and almost kicked bayern out this season
alot of talk about how amazing the league is going to be next year with poop, conte etc.
anyone else just excited about pep getting pulisballed?
>>67880643
>alot
A lot.
I can't wait for the >Mouno.
>>67880582
You're forgetting that it WASN'T juvewinslol before Conte, they were finishing mid-table.
>>67861702
Haven't won the league in a fucking decade.
"best"
You're Spurs tier now m8.
Can anyone explain why they didn't appoint Mourinho after Ferguson in the first place?
>>67881637
ferguson wanted to make his legacy look better by turning utd to shit after retiring
>>67881645
yeah because ferguson's legacy would have been thought of as a failure otherwise right
>>67881637
No one can.
Could have had 3 glorious years now under Mou.
Fergie > Moyes > Giggs > LVG > Mou >
>>67881744
why would ozil be the next manager after mou?
>>67881760
fucking lel
>>67881348
No, because Spurs haven't won the league for 4 times as long. They've not even finished above Arsenal for like 20 years.
>>67881637
ferguson wanted it to remain a UK led club
so he handpicked moyes
