secret/vent/feels/advice thread
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secret/vent/feels/advice thread
I should have let her kill herself
>>23673898
why?
I want someone to know that my manager and I have been fooling around in the office and it is such a turn on. We havent slept together and I dont think itll ever happen but its enough fuel for me to instantly cum when I get home and finger myself. Ive been single for a while so this is awesome attention im getting.
I cheated on my boyfriend with his brother... while he was sleeping next to me. I don't regret it, won't do it again or anything just... feel like I should tell someone.
i'm starting to really like my friend/coworker but i'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way. also i know deep down inside it would never work but the thought of having someone who would be cool with who i really am (not implying that im crazy or fucked up just in the way that she wouldn't care what kind of shit im into and being that im here on 4chan i have kinda weird interests) really gets me. i think it also has to do with the fact that i havent dated a girl in 6 years.
When I was 16 (19 now) i slept with my friends dad a bunch over the summer when she was out of state visiting her mom. She never found out thankfully and besides one friend here at college this is the only time I've ever told anyone.
I've been in a relationship for about three years now with someone whose family is very well above mine in terms of income. I've been feeling very depressed about the issue with going as far as to thinking about how I will break up with her, keep in mind that this is just because I want her to be happy and I know I'll never be able to provide her what she has been use to all her life. The trips around the world, fancy dinners, expensive cloths... the list goes on. Recently I've been talking to one of my best friends and she has a crush on me deep down I want to be with my current gf but if these feeling about being a puss poor piece of shit continue I think I'll ask my friend out almost immediately and end my relationship, I just want her to be happy and if it's not with me then so be it.
Deep down I want to drag her out of her life and start a new one with her. She deserves better, but doesn't know it. She might never know I feel this way and probably wouldn't understand.
I've created several fake accounts on non-mainstream social media websites. Claiming to be a female, I am not.
I posted realistic, non sexual photos of girls I've collected on, family pics, etc.
I posted several real, non sexual stories, blogs, maintained current posts, etc.
Built a fictional interactive person.
I've use this person (several of them) to talk with other females under the guise of being bi curious. Most of whom I spoke with were not.
I built up their trust and confidence over months and months of chatting, rapport building, life/relationship advice, been a friend through tough times, helped them through emotional obstacles.
Originally, my intent was for eliciting pics from them. However this backfired, time and time again. It became personal, emotional. In time, several of the girls professed their love for me. One made plans for me to move in with her. Another pushed me hard to join her on a cruise she was going on. It got out of hand quickly.
Usually, once they became emotionally attached, I would sever the relationship. However, the most recent was a little more to cope with. She was married, had a kid. Was having a tough time in her marriage. I was originally trying to push her though it. But she used me as an outlet for her pent up aggression. There were scores of nude photographs sent back and forth (mine would be delicately photoshopped to have accurate timestamps), she would do cunning dares, of the most risqué nature.
I tried to sever this tie several times. But she kept coming back. And I couldn't break her heart not to reply.
I did my best to change my personality. To become a stranger to her. But at the same time, helping her through her now divorce. I hoped I wasn't the cause of this. The many months, she had an affair with a "woman" for the first time.
What have I become?
>>23675081
Have you tried talking to her about that? Maybe she honestly doesn't care about that
>>23675131
Seconded, almost no matter what relationship issue it is, talking through it is my answer 99% of the time.
I'm so extremely lonely, but I can't make friends, even online.
>>23675129
You've become a well for people to throw their 5 cents into, but eventually they realised they wanted the water and fell into it. You've become an integral part of many people's lives and helped them through hardships in a way that you could never have done if you didn't lie, but some day, they're going to have to find out that the water was actually something else. Whether or not they're okay with that is up to them, some might surprise you. But, despite how good it makes you feel to be wanted or to be a different person, you know very well that it's time to stop before you do something you will regret forever.
>>23675171
I could be your friend.
>>23675193
That's a rudimentary analysis, but correct on most parts. But what you are wrong on is that it made me feel good to go through this. It was a torturing pain that took me a good time to realize. I thought I was just in it for some cheap nudes, through some extravagant social engineering. But I came to realize that I wasn't very good at being heartless. And it hurt every time I spoke to them. I cringed at every new email. Several of these girls were suffering from suicidal temptations, which I believe I helped them through, at least for the time being. I wanted to quit this time and time again. But by that time I was in too deep.
>>23675227
Yeah, went with some assumptions. Looks like you've gotta just put it down. Just flip the table and go, not much else to do. I've done that with people whom I considered important to me who were toxic, hurts but you gotta do it.
I'm gay. And I ended up sleeping with 2 guys who were together and I didn't know it. They both cheated on each other with me.
m straight here, but sometimes i like go on gayroulette and let other man watch me jerking
I have a massive cuckolding and dominatrix fetish that I very subversely rap my male friends into by making them think I'm the perfect girl, than letting them in on my sexual experiences. I often daydream about cuckolding some of my closest male friends.
I think I'm like this because of some inferiority complex I have towards the male gender, a kind of penis envy. I'm not sure if any of them even notice the weird subtle games I play to get my kicks. It's really pretty fucked up because a few of them have confessed feelings for me, and I shut them down, because of my little sadist streak and I wouldn't want to cause them actual emotional harm. No one knows that I'm like this; I try my hardest to posteur myself as a chill, relaxed chick with a rational perspective on male/female dynamics but really I'm kind of the worst.
I'm sorry if this is too long, but I really need to vent.
I'm horribly ugly and I hate going outside. I always get these awful looks from people and it hurts so much. I've tried to tell myself that it's all in my head, but the looks I get from people look like actual irritation and repulsion. I can't even enjoy video games and anime anymore without being reminded of how disgusting I look. I've also never had a single friend in my entire life.
My bitterness and self hatred has also made me feel irrationally angry whenever I see certain types people which I know is crazy. I also resent one of my cousins for being prettier and more talented than me.
I want to go to South Korea to get plastic surgery which will also fix my other problems, but my father refuses to pay for anything (which is understandable), but by the time I graduate from college and earn the money myself, I'll be too old to enjoy my youth. I want to dropout of college and just live as a worthless shut-in, but I know I can't do that either.
I want to die so badly but I don't want to hurt my father and my brothers. But at the same time, I can't imagine having a bright and happy future at all. I feel so trapped. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
Sorry if this is tl;dr. I probably sound like a whiney tween or something.
I'm a bi male, and really enjoy getting fucked by men in their 50s
i self-destruct with sex to get back at my ex for being a heroin addict.
I'm 19 and moved down to live at uni this year thinking it would all be great with new friends and everything. Problem is, it wasn't. I went to an all boys' grammar school and it's only now that I notice everyone there was a bit weird, which is perfect for me, my best friends are the ones from back home.
However, at uni, my social life has been disappointing. I know the guys who I share a kitchen with and they're nice and all, but they're not much more than that. Same with the people I know on my course - they're nice but they're not much more than course friends. I tried joining societies and I went to one for a while (it was a martial art) and while I didn't make friends really, I did enjoy it and only stopped because the instructor fell quite ill and training had to stop.
Is there any way to fix this? I think it's because I'm boring. I mean, I'm quite interested in my field of study and a few other fields of science, and I've recently taken up lockpicking with a re-pinnable lock just for something to do other than gaming. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I'm just oh so fucking average. Literally the only interesting or noteworthy part of my face is my eyes, and people rarely notice that. I'm quite slim, but not particularly muscular. And to top it all off, I'm still a virgin at 19
tl;dr no good friends, starting to feel shit, wat do
im straight but i like jerking off with guys on kik
I've been sucking my best friend's dick for a couple month now. It started as curiosity and large cock fascination. He's gotten more and more demanding though, making me wear panties, acting authoritarian, making me do it whenever he wants, and I have no idea how to get out of it. I feel fucking ashamed and degraded afterward. On the other side, I'm too afraid to say anything, because a part of me is scared of never getting to do it again. fml
>>23676074
kik?
My relationship with my girlfriend is at the roughest patch ever lately. We've been splitting up on and off and we always get back together. Neither of us have cheated but its been fucking me up lately because we'll get back together, she'll get mad and break it off again. Or when she is jist annoyed shell stop talking to me and get on facebook or some shit and talk to her friends. She thinks I'm distant from her which in a way is right, because I'm scared she's just going to break it off again, and I told her about it last night and she just said I make her frustrated. What do I do?
Open to getting advice over kik or something. Idfc anymore.
>>23673824
My loneliness is starting to make dysfunctional and I'm beginning to lose hope of ever finding another gal who will get my lovely personality.
Subsequently, I've been getting spontaneous boners remembering the times my ex would fellate me.
My girlfriend lied about her sexual past, she used to camwhore quite a bit, and actually fucked her ex while we were first in the "talking" stage. I'm not judging her on her past, but she lied to me really bad and totally misrepresented herself.
If she had told me I honestly would not have given a fuck, but she judged me and tried to put me down for my own, similar, past. We moved in together a bout a month ago, and I found this out shortly after. I really don't want to be with her but I don't want to cheat, and I don't want to find a new place to live. I've found myself very attracted to other girls after I found this out, and much less attracted to her.
Ultimately I just want to feel sexually validated by other people, which sounds very shallow but it would do wonders for my self confidence.
>>23676325
So stop being a little bitch and kick her out of the place you live. It's not fucking hard.
>>I really don't want to be with her but I don't want to chat
So uh, leave the relationship.
>>23676330
I want to, I'm going to, I'm figuring out the best way to do it. This is my second "real" adult relationship, and the first time I've lived with a girlfriend.
>>23673824
I'm not gay or anything but I think just a bit of experimenting. A friend and I were into each other, we were young but one day we were getting down and dirty (We're both guys) his mother walks in and freaks out. We were best friends since we were young. Sadly I was to scared to show my face around him and his family so I just cut all ties. I still miss that booty though, I guess I'm more of a pitcher.
>>23676338
The best way? Just be forward. It's going to suck but it's better than sneaking around or being unhappy. Let her go, she seems really insecure and stupid for getting upset about something she's also done.
>>23676346
Is cheating totally out of the question here? Do I become the scumbag if I cheat? I was thinking that a 3some might make me feel better but even asking that might form into a breakup.
I believe that I am not capable of pure real love. don't get me wrong I am not sociopath, I can empathize with people, I can be compassionate and generally care about people around me.
problem is that every time I decide it might be time to open up to someone (like once every 5 years) I grow attached to given person in matter of few days if not hours.
I start ignoring red flags, I start act like idiot, I try too hard etc. etc. I feel really good while with given person, I feel like shit when ignored and this was the case of every single relationship I had.
up until now I did not really seen this. it was just my last "relationship" that kinda opened my eyes. but even though now I know what's wrong with me I don't have idea how to fix it.
>>23676384
Did you seriously just ask if cheating makes you a scumbag? Really think about that. Do you want to be the kind of person who cheats. If so, by all means.
I'd rather just drop someone who is a waste of my time and affections. You said you don't want to be with her so why are you even thinking about staying together? Ask for a 3some, if she says no then leave, if she says yes have on then leave.
Cheating on someone because they lied about the past isn't an excuse. Hold yourself to a better standard my friend.
>>23675699
why?
Anyone have stories of experimention with the same sex? Can be in any context, but I'm particularly interested in inter-family and best friend experimenting.
Will drop my KIK if it's needed.
I'm a pretty buff male, 110 kg / 1.95m. Once at a birthday party I hooked up with a girl some coworkers said was easy (she had a fetish for guys in our line of work). We started fooling around and had sex, but it was quite horrible and she didn't stop saying weird and stupid thing, stuff I attributed to alcohol.
After that night we called ourselves for two / three days then nothing. Two weeks later she sent me an angry text saying that since it was the worst sex she ever had, it didn't even happened. It thought it was weird but didn't think about it anymore.
Fast forward a couple years and I stumbled upon some article about rape and how some men commit it without even knowing it. And then it struck me about why she was acting weird. She told me two or three times if I was sure I wanted to do it, then she said a shitload of unrelated stuff during sex.
I tried to talk about it to my then girlfriend but since she was a rape survivor, she told me didn't even hear about it.
Fast forward some more to today. I dumped my abusive girlfriend for 5 months now, morale and self esteem pretty low because of that. Trying pretty hard to function normally at my boring work then this girl shows up, and since my coworkers are all married / w. kids, they try to hook me up with that new girl which.. is _that_ girl from the party. Of course I didn't tell anyone about what happened, just that we met at a friend's party.
Oh and if it wasn't enough bad, I also learned that she's mentally challenged, so another trophy to my assholiness.
tl;dr
Drunkenly raped a girl because she was too afraid to say no. Also turns out she's mentally handicapped.
>>23673824
I don't seed torrents.
>>23675066
I remember you, your story is hot and you've got a really nice body too.
A couple years ago, i was a shy bookish guy who turned to left-wing activism out of youthful idealism and loneliness. It started off innocent enough, but gradually the scene came to be dominated by sjw identity politics stuff, and i ended up trying to go gay because i wasn't having luck with women and to feel more accepted. Now, i don't care if anyone is into it, but to me it felt dirty and wrong, but not in a hot way. I mean gross and i found it difficult to be aroused.
Eventually i grew up a bit and found a healthier crowd of people to associate with, and finally lost my hetero virginity to a woman, but i still
feel some lingering shame.
I'm a newfag that just discovered 4chan before going to uni (which i'm in now). Ever since then i'm having a semi-growing urge to fuck/get fuck by a trans or a fem boy. Before i found this place i considered myself open minded n didn't completely shy away from fucking a guy since it be something new but i never really entertained the idea. My friends had even went so far as to call me overly straight. The only person i mentioned me not caring if i fucked a guy was my gf at the time but it wasn't nearly as bad now.
Now i'll often jack off to Shemale threads of /gif and post my kik in hookup threads knowing guys will message me, before chickening out entirely. I've had sex a handful of times but i'm often wanting to have the feeling of being the one getting fucked, and wanting to suck a cock just to get it out of my system. I dont think i'm gay and at the most i'm bi. I'm sure a majority of my friends would be okay with it if i told them other than a few exceptions. It's just really annoying.
I'm debating if i should do something with my friend who's gay. He's made it painfully obvious he wants to fuck me because he doesn't fuck with anybody that he goes to university with. I'm really not interested in him but if it helps me figure out if i like it or not i may give it a try. The only issue is that I already fucked one of our friends, and may have sex with another if she comes back to visit (she moved). So if all that got out, as well as me fucking him i feel like that would be the straw that broke the camels back.
>i'm often wanting to have the feeling of being the one getting fucked, and wanting to suck a cock
>I dont think i'm gay and at the most i'm bi
I have those feelings as well yet I don't find men attractive at all. it's not just the way we look but the way we think that repulses me from having sex with another man.
I probably wouldn't have this issues with tranny or trap/cd but they are rare sight where I come from.
another thing that came into my mind is glory hole. it sounds interesting to me since there is no need for personal contact. maybe some fetish party where everyone wears latex costumes as well, it would feel somewhat impersonal to get fucked by some "faceless" person.
>>23676902
sorry I forgot about your (You) ^^
>>23676902
Do you have a KIK? I'm kind of similar and id like to chat to you about this a little more.
>>23676779
Hey! Haven't been on in awhile and saw this thread again so thought I'd share. And well thanks! ^__^
Id let anyone with a huge monster dick put it balls deep and hard in my Ass.
>>23677039
Thought about posting any new pics?
>>23676902
do it, and don't look back
>>23676396
we're in the same boat
I really, really like fat girls, I'm a tall dude, weigh 195, and I like my women to be at least 250 pounds or heavier than me. It's such a fucking turn on.
My secret it I'm horny as fuck so someone get on the damn phone with me
ASL
32/ BI Male / Illinois
>Orientation
50% straight
>Relationship status
No boyfriend currently
>music
emo, metal, hip hop
>shows/movies
pulp fiction, finding nemo
>vidya
None
>interests
I own my own company so I'm always busy
>languages
english and spanish
>what are you looking for?
Someone to talk dirty with especially Trans and sissies
>what are you NOT looking for?
Boring chats
>contact: so horny right now I prefer texts or phone calls.
3 zero 9 525 zero971
>>23675042
was he bigger?
Im gay
I'm fairly certain I'm anorexic. I have all the eating habits, just not the low weight. Yet.
I won't tell anyone about it though because I wouldn't be able to get my dream job after graduation if I have any mental health issues.
I keep telling myself I'll stop before I go skeletor anyways, but I keep lowering and lowering my weight goals.
32 year old virgin, 100% convinced I'll never have sex because of that (women will reject me for it). Gave up dating, socializing, everything. It has ruined my life.
>>23675439
I'd like to ask you to prove it.
I'm dying to be a camwhore. I have some kinks and interests that drive me to want to be public at times, but I have a family to think about and a boyfriend who isn't on board. It would be such an awesome income, often times I feel like I'm sitting on a bed of money just waiting to be made. Kinda sucks.
>>23678640
if he's not willing to back you up on things you want, do you really want to stay with him?
>>23676233
husky706
>>23673824
I think this board is the most degenerate and cancerous place on this website with the exception of /mlp/, tbqh.
I have lost any motivation and hope in my life. I spend each day waiting till i die.
Never told anyone, but for a period of about 3 years me and my first cousin (really hot cousin) fucked everyday at her dads house.
>>23673824
father molested me and my sister our whole childhood. fucked me up Pretty bad. worst part is I look just like him
>>23678640
what type of kinks?
I was adopted at birth. I am now pregnant and my parents (adoptive, obviously) are being EXTREMELY overbearing.
They just visited me from a far distance for only 3 days and I am exhausted by them. My mother nearly had a tantrum when I told her that I only wanted my partner and medical staff in the delivery room with me, and almost shit herself when I told her that I don't trust her or my father to keep a secret. My mom wanted to know the sex of the baby and my father didn't, so I told them that they had to come up with the same answer so one doesn't ruin it for the other.
They are TOTALLY set on driving here for my due date (a 2-3 day drive) and when I expressed my concerns, they completely brushed me off. My mom wants to stay here for a fucking month, when I can barely stand her for 3 days.
Just before they came to visit, my mom threw the worst fucking shitshow of a tantrum because I am giving my biological mother information about the pregnancy and asking her questions about the process. She (adoptive mom) sent me a slew of texts about how she wasn't really a grandmother or even my mother because my biomom is involved.
I feel suffocated and I'm already halfway through my pregnancy. I honestly feel that they're overcompensating due to the fact that I'm not biologically theirs, and now that I'm having a biological offspring, they have to assert themselves as my "real" parents.
I don't know how to deal with their pettiness and immaturity. Their smothering behavior just feels alienating to me. I have no fucking clue what to do.
>>23676063
Have you tried joining any clubs or extracurricular activities within your field of study?
There's always campus events you can go to at cafes or bars. Even if you go alone, you still have the opportunity to make friends.
>>23676301
I had a friend who kept being in an on-off relationship, and they're just not worth it. It's too much stress and unnecessary drama in your life. You two need to have a good sit-down and decide whether you're going to make it work, or going to break up permanently.
>>23676988
I've heard this so many times from friends and people on 4chan. It seems like a pretty normal interest/fetish to me. Don't feel alone or disgusted in yourself, you're in the same boat as a lot of people.
>>23677935
Don't let your sexual experience ruin your life dude. If anything, go to a bar, get hammered and pick up the easiest girl there. If not that, go for a pro. Always remember to wrap your dick though. One or 2 instances of sex can/will do wonders for your confidence.
>>23673824
I'm ugly and not white, from a shitty part of south america with a lot of indian blood. I can manage to fit in but no one ever looks at me with want. Since I've been a shut in most of my life I barely developed any muscle, my hands are tiny but worst of all my dick is tiny as hell. Hard I'm 5 inches long and only 3.5 inches thick, literally a tiny penis. It sucks knowing that practically everyone and anyone has a bigger dick than me on average and in the long run thats what counts. Hell even if I was ugly an average or slightly bigger than average would've gotten me laid. Looking in the mirror and masturbating using only my fingers to wrap around is depressing me even further. Before I used to not care, but now I'm really depressed, going with this weight loss and coming back to see I'm only polishing a pile of shit is the worst. Knowing that no matter what nothing can change the length of my tiny nose and nothing can add natural length and girth to my penis to match others is making this a nightmare.
tl;dr - ugly spic virgin w/ugly face and tiny dick hates self.
>>23678956
I went through this same thing when my daughter was born. I guess they just want to be a part of the whole thing. My Exs mother did the same thing about just us being in the delivery room, and when "D" day came she was actually real cool about the boundaries that were set. Also whenever she starts to stress you let her know how harmful it is for you and the baby
I've been in a steady and mostly satisfying relationship for twelve years. We like each other and she is probably my best friend.
She has no sex drive and has been telling me for almost six years that she wants me to find a partner to help with our general lack of a sex life since my libido is pretty high. She's been asking me to do it fairly frequently lately.
So I've started looking but since people who cheat on their wives use a similar story, I get labeled a cheater quickly.
It's kind of hard to find a real friend that would be open minded enough to talk or meet and stay friends for an extended period.
Just venting, but advice wouldn't be bad.
The older I get the more I realize I'm exactly like my dad, and I absolutely do not want to be. I have very similar negative habits and personality traits and even our general life stories pretty much match up.
We were both both fat shy kids who got bullied a lot and never dated in school only to suddenly get in good shape in our early 20s and have a lot of short term shallow relationships that didn't make us happy. Then we spent a few years black out drunk every single day before losing what connections we had and stopping that. Then we withdrew away from everything, and that's where I am now.
My dad was forced into marrying my mom because he got her pregnant, and then just gave up on socializing. From his mid-20s to his 50s he never had any friends and spent all of his free time on solo hobbies to the point of neglecting his family, he'd skip out on sports practice or seeing a movie as a family to go swim laps or something. He never spent time with us around the house he was always reading or playing NES pretending his wife and kids didn't exist.
And I'm the same way, I'm single but I just don't even want to be around people and shut myself in to spend time on the computer. Months go by without me socializing, I'd say in 2015 I met people outside of work on 4 occasions. Yet I hate that paradoxically, in the short time I think "I want to do (alone activity)" and not pick up when my brother calls but then I'll get in a mopey mood and bitch to myself about being alone and not having anyone love me. It doesn't make sense but it's how I feel.
I really hate my father, he was awful person who treated everyone like shit, beat his wife and one morning he just wasn't there and we haven't been able to find him. He was a shit father, shit husband, shit person who no one liked.
And I'm just kind of rambling I guess, it's not like I see myself getting mad about something stupid and hitting my wife but I do have the toxic traits of constantly shitting on everyone and putting everyone down, so no one really likes me anyway, just the way he was. Without meaning to just in the moment I'm always acting better than people and so did he.
I suppose part of it might be genetic, I don't know, but I really hate all this. I'm aware of my own terribleness but not really sure what to do about it, faking only gets so far no one has the focus to "act" 24/7 and your shit-side will come out eventually. And it's 10 times worse because I see myself becoming the same monster I hate so much. I fucking hate myself.
>>23679624
hold on anon, let me call the wambulance
I secretly hate most of the people I spend my day choosing to socialize with. Every day I'm reassured that the only reason I try is because I'd go insane if I weren't near other humans, even overly opinionated smartass memelords
I'm addicted to shemale porn and it's disgusting.
I constantly need to be told 'I love you ' otherwise I feel worthless
>>23679721
You must've been bummed when Chyna died earlier this week
All my friends have slowly drifted or moved away from me. I don't contact people, don't get their info cause for the longest time I didn't see the reason to. Didn't have a phone, couldn’t afford one. I can feel myself withdrawing from my current friends and I hate it. I hate feeling sorry for myself because of things I can't control. I miss my friends. I want to be able to talk to people for no reason. Just be with someone just to be with them. Have someone I can confide in and collapse into when it's all too much, but I don't know how. I've told one friend what's been killing me the most, and now I feel her drifting away from me, or me from her? Every person I've ever been close to has left me. I want to reach out to people but I'm afraid to be rude or offensive or say something I'll regret and they'll hate me forever, but I hate always being the "nice" guy of every group I'm in. I don't do things with people. Just school, just clubs, never doing anything without purpose. Writing this is killing me because I could be doing the homework I need to get done or else I'll fail the class and get disowned and my life will be over. After a certain point I forgot if I had a point to this.
help
I can do nothing right by my girlfriend. I swear I've jumped through hoops, lost friends, changed my whole personality for her but it's just never enough.
I'm becoming more and more genderfluid as days pass. I prefer wearing panties and high knee/thigh socks. I can never pull off a decent trap but I guess that doesn't stop me. The only problem is that I live with 4 more other roomies and one of them already knows.
> "are you a women trapped in a man's body?"
Y-yes..
Weird I tried to post and it said I was banned..
I don't have a sexual drive but I force myself to have sex, either guys or girls because they're either really really hot and or out of my league
>>23679764
iktf dude
it hurts
I'm right now listening to my housemate and her bf having sex, and using it as J/O material. I stayed up late so I could hear this. She's a good friend too so no idea if this is sick or not :S
I encourage you to find help for this before it gets any worse. You aren't going to be able to "just stop" whenever you want to. No dream job is worth the consequences of continuing anorexia. Go to the national eating disorders association website to explore treatment options that could be right for you.
>>23680920
Meant for
>>23677906
My common law gf left me I can't eat food anymore I hate cooking I used to eat 10k calories a day and love cooking and eating I'm happy with 2k now my life has fallen apart and I fucking hate it all I want to just give up and end it.
>>23680091
Your asexual somewhere in the spectrum there's 100 kinds. stop being self destructive you will end up needing years of therapy.
well you see, this is kind of hard to talk about with other people, but....
I have this thing... about tying girls to train tracks
>>23677906
I have an eating disorder now too I just developed it in the last few months
A few weeks ago I found out that a person that I really liked was a catfish thanks to 4chan
>>23678640
How would anyone find out? Just make sure not to say anything while caming that could be used to track you down.
I'm not sure it's as much money as you think though. There are some insanely hot girls on sites like that and unless you are a 10/10 you're likely not making much more than a normal job.
>>23681357
10k calories...per day?
>>23676396
I wonder sometimes if my ex is capable of it. She seemed like she did most of the time but other times it was like I didn't exist.
Maybe you just need to be a little more cautious, cautious and take things slower? Never ignore your gut it's right a lot of the time.
>>23681396
>Never ignore your gut it's right a lot of the time.
this I suppose. I really felt for one girl, we had things to talk about. a lot of time she was asking me about my family, she was kinda fascinated that I unlike she actually have functional family. and I really like that about her, once I would like to have nice cozy family so I was really crazy about her.
but on the inside I somewhat felt that this can work. I was not able to imagine myself being with her and well it ended up that way. not really sure how it happen but we split and that was it. thing is that I don't know if I ever loved her, feels more like I was into her just because of this rational idea of her being "perfect" match for me.
I am a dude trapped in a woman's body, but apart from this board i will never ever admit it anywhere
I dress feminine to compensate for the fact that i am into women
Eversince puberty i have been keeping journals in which i draw myself as a dude wearing the outfits i would wear if i had been born as one
I dont feel that sad about the way i am as I used to. Publicly recognizing the fact that I want a woman for a partner and not a man is already such a relief.
>>23679806
I've done that. It's not worth being miserable to make your woman happy. Mine also 'helped' changing me by telling my friends and everyone I knew how shitty of a person I was and that I wanted to rape her, etc. she did this so they would stop talking to me, so I would only have my attention fixed on her. It's best to end it. At least when I had realized this and told her, the tables turned and she wanted to do anything to be with me. It's just for the best to let it go. There's so much more to life and it's too short to waste it as someone's dog
heyy 19 yr old female need friends 6315994074
Wheres my post
>>23681380
how?
>>23681726
Cute cat. Does he need any friends cause I would totally chill with him.
> tfw your girlfriend of two years cheated on you with your best friend
Sometime I let friends beat me in video games so they keep thinking they can beat me when they're focused. They I can coach them to be in the same mindstte when they need it.
I love this.
Why the fuck am I even here?
It's fucking 2am, and I keep telling myself it's fine to have another cigarette before bed.
When I think about where I was last year, I wonder how I didn't end up killing myself.
Now that I have the life in which I thought I'd be content,
it seems like only now I'm starting to realize how futile it all seems.
I'm trying to see the point in life.
For the first time, I've admitted that I have a problem, and started seeing a psychologist.
But talking to her only digs up new reasons to be demoralized.
As for the vent:
N;
I still think about you.
I can't believe it's been three years.
I thought I was over you, and though I can't stand the thought of being around you again, it's heartrending to know you've moved on to other people.
As if I still have a say in your life, and need to keep you from the harm of others.
As if everyone is out for blood, and you're too blind to see it.
Call it a messiah complex.
When I see a girl, all I can think of is how depraved she must be under all those layers of insecurity and surrogate intimacy.
But how would I know?
I keep thinking I have people figured out, and that they can't trick me into sympathy.
All the rage I cherish towards them is just a shield for my own solitude.
Somehow, I've convinced myself that all people are inherently evil, and that any attempt to change this mindset is just my mind tricking me into getting my dick wet and my back covered.
All the fantasies I used to have;
That one day, there'd be someone that would make me disappear entirely.
Make me forget I had ever hated so fiercely.
I'm trying to give up.
But this duality is killing me.
I'm trying to grow out of this childish ideology; that company is something worth having.
Yet here I sit, two cigarettes later, spilling my guts to people I've never known, feeling even more wilted than when I repressed this fucking dread.
Should have kept my fucking mouth shut.
>>23675439
Proof is what we need
I think I love you Thomas
>>23683514
I like your writing style anon, the poetry of it, tho you do dramatize shit more that you should
Anyways,
I'm so very sad. I'm ill, and I'm depressed, and I'm 21 and never been on a date. Boys scare me, and I'm invisible to them in any other way than friendship.
I cry a lot and no one knows it.
And whenever I even hint anything about not feeling well to friends or family, they rush me to sweep it under the rug and snap out of it
I'll never be anyone's special girl
And I can't even dream anymore, and I used to do that a lot. No one is coming to save me
I'm friendly, but I don't make friends often. Lots of acquaintances, but only 5 really close friends that I hang out with and talk with regularly. I've known them 10 or so years, so really good friends.
But today, I discovered they all got together and did some drinking at a bar with other mutual friends, but never contacted me.
For some reason, that really hurts, and I can't stop letting it bother me.
After coming out of the only romantic relationship I've ever been in (that lasted 7 years) I've become increasingly content with the prospect of being alone.
Not in a bitter way, or one that would isolate myself from friends or family; I'm still attracted to people, but I'm realizing that they were an exception that proved the rule, and that I have no desire for a relationship unless that unicorn shows itself, and I don't think I'll find another one.
I have no idea how to tell anyone I know in person about it.
>>23680920
The job is the only thing I have to look forward to to be honest. I'd probably have an herod by now out of boredom if I didn't have it. Nothing interests me, I'm not living for any other goal or purpose. I'm just getting through the day for the sake of getting through the day.
I'm just obsessed with losing this little pouch of stomach fat. I want a flat stomach so bad, I work hard for it and do everything I can but it just won't go away. But with it, it doesn't matter if my weight is fine, or even if I'm underweight, I'm always seen as fat/chubby. I'm 5'3 and down to 120. As soon as the pouch is gone I won't have an issue anymore, I just haven't the slightest clue how much lower I have to get in order to attain this. Without gaining muscle. I don't want to be muscular in any way. Just the flat stomach. I'm scared it's not fat at all and just loose skin from my obese high school years that I'll never lose without surgery that I'll never be able to afford.
>>23681375
It's... an experience I guess. At the moment I have no strong feelings about the ED itself either way. Only the stuff fueling the ED. as long as it's working and getting me where I want to go, I don't really care.
idk what your story is though.
>>23684385
why do boys scare you?
My favorite secret to share is one I've shared already. I have no regrets about it.
I slipped a roofy in my wifes drink while we were at a club. I leaned her back on a couch in an upstairs area, took off her panties, pulled her skirt up and spread her knees apart. I also unbuttoned her blouse, and unsnapped her bra and pushed it to the side. I watched from another table as several guys had their way with her unconscious body.
Now I fantasize about her being raped in front of me by multiple men, and begging for more. Being the submissive slut like she was that night at the club. My only regret is I didn't take any pictures.
I'm in a pretty great relationship of almost 5 years now but every now and then I want to go out and sleep with other women. I never have of course, but the thought still creeps into my head every few weeks. It'd be entirely a sexual thing since I've only had 3 partners and I feel like I'm missing out since I'm close to 25 and I haven't really dated much.
I love my gf and the thought of leaving her and upsetting her seriously breaks my heart but at the same time I'm wanting to just go off and bed some random women to get it out of my system. I'd hated myself for it if I did since I'd of thrown away a truly great relationship.
I really don't know what to do.
I think my gf's younger sister is insanely hot, i have nude pics of her and masturbate to them often
I'm a 22yrold kv. I have no friends, I don't do drugs, and I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to in the future. I feel like I switch between being depressed and scared of death itself, failure to have interpersonal/romantic relationships, and succeed in any meaningful way. Any goals I do have are unrealistic and I'm pretty sure in reality I will end up killing myself before I'm 30 or just living my entire life depressed and alone. I don't feel like I can mention any of it because it just further hurts my infinitely small chance of succeeding at anything and makes me come off as a bitch. The best case scenario for me is to get /fit/, marry a girl who doesn't share my values and may or may not actually be into me, and live in the suburbs working a mediocre office job until I die. /rantbitchfest
>>23684970
Getting /fit/ is a good start though, I go for daily runs and lift weights when I get home. Doing healthy shit really improves mood.
I violate my friends' privacy all the time. It's like a fetish i guess... Gay btw.
When first started dating my ex, went through his phone and found a skype name that he used for sex. Searched it on google and found his chaturbate. Watched his shows and recorded them before telling him eventually, so he deleted the account. On another occasion he was sleeping over and while sleeping, used his finger to unlock his phone. Went through his emails, searching for passwords. Found one that unlocked his laptop. Found nudes and a jack off video in the trash, and emailed them to myself. He doesn't know about that...
Then one of my roommates, I saw him type his password and when he leaves I go through his ipad and I've gotten all the nudes he's sent to people. Also used his fleshjack I found.
Another roommate I've gone through his trash and found used condoms. Used them in dirty ways.
So yeah I'm pretty fucked up
>>23684980
It has sure. I'm decent when it comes to lifting, it's just weight and cardio that I need to work on. The problem is that I only feel good until I have to interact with others or think about my future. I'm not gonna stop trying to get fit, it's just everything else. I'm still pursuing my professional goals (though not realistically) and I'm close to giving up on friends and relationships all together.
>>23684980
Oh and to comment on your own post; there's nothing wrong with fantasizing about other women. The important thing is that you know not to do it and that you care about your gf enough not to risk it.
>>23684953
i've had three partners and i'm 30. one was a one-nighter. i also have the same thoughts and am also in a LTR.
>>23685023
Cardio is a tough one to keep going since you need time to do it. I also end up reflecting on the future when I go running which sucks. Don't give up on friends and relationships yet man, I almost have before but something usually comes along and changes things for the better. Try doing some social things like /soc/ meetups or going to bars (nice bars, not seedy ones obviously) and do some light social drinking.
>>23685026
Thanks. I still wonder about it though and I still hate myself for wondering.
>>23685055
I really don't know what to do sometimes...
>>23685072
Well the thing is I don't like drinking with people. I actually don't like most people I meet (which is more my problem than their's I admit). A big part of it is values and interests as I'm into metal, comics, and some vidya but I hate drugs, casual sex, and have some /pol/ views. Hanging out with people is just a constant reminder that I will never meet someone who shares my values. I can talk to people who disagree with me of course, but after a while I know that I can't keep interacting with them without being the weird one or being to harsh on them.
>>23685113
I get that man. I've been trying to branch out lately and make friends but it hasn't been going well, difference in music was my biggest issue (I still looked past it because everyone has their own taste) but other things just became more difficult. As much as it's mostly my fault that I failed, some of it was theirs. Somehow I end up meeting and almost befriending really stuck up and extremely self involved people.
Honestly I think people on /soc/ are more normal and friendly than the people I deal with in real life.
>>23684441
The exact same thing happened to me.
I've started to feel the exact same way.
And quite frankly.
I'm fucking terrified.
I know I'm not ugly, or stupid. I'm fairly pretty I think, and I am very smart and nice.
Though my words may seem naught to some...
Because all of those things would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
I don't make friends often, and when I do.. they are terrible people. I just can't connect with people it seems. Even though I can maneuver myself nimbly in social situations.
I'm not directly attracted to men or women anymore...
Honestly, I see people on this board and for a split second I may pretend to know what they're like and make it all up in my head.. and I fall in love with them for a split second. Right before the reality snaps to.
It scares the absolute hell out of me.
It's like I have all this love that I'm just unbelievably dying to give. Yet nobody to take it, or would they even take it if I offered? It makes me feel like I am going to overflow or explode.
Can't seem to fall in love.
I can't just give it away. It just doesn't come out at will.
At the same time, why bother forcing yourself to fit in for the sake of a relationship if it only makes you uncomfortable?
It'll just come back to hurt me anyways.
I just feel so.. comfortable.. begin alone.
But the thought of being alone forever scares me.
But it's making me feel better right now.
-
I feel like shit after another failed attempt to socialize today at a party and failing to achieve any effect. So I've had plenty of time to brood over it all. So sorry for the mellow-drama. I'm never like this often, But I am kinda falling into a pretty bad depression, I feel.
Hai, I am Denny R. I am an educated 28 year old Asian male living in London however I am originally from Scotland. I am a math and physics geek with a wild side I desperately want to release. I like to fantasize about having a cute girl fuck me up the asshole. Just the thought of a woman pegging me drive my mind crazy with excitement. By the way, I am still a virgin. Yup, I am almost wizard status here. I don't really know why but I haven't had any luck so far in the love department. I am not attracted to or the least bit interested in Asian women in anyway. I have mommy issues so my dislike of Asian women might have something to do with that. Sadly, I am near the point in accepting the reality I will be a virgin forever. Here I am thinking about how enjoyable it would be getting pegged and yet I have never even kissed a woman. The peg thing is so far away for me. :-(
Pic related: It's me!
>>23685130
I think a part of that is because you don't actually interact with them. Like us right now. We're talking fine and being supportive but if we actually knew each other in real life we may hate each other. The way people act in front of each other is just as important as what words they use.
>>23685161
I suppose you're right. But I still get far more out of talking to people on here than in real life.
Still, don't give up on the real life interactions. There are decent people out there.
I've had sex with my friend younger brother in our dorm room. He came twice in me and I gave him head. Afterward he told me, he always wanted to do it with his sister, so next time I wore her clothes and played incest.
>>23685159
If you wallow in self pity you will be virgin forever.
Hate life right now, wish it would get better but I just don't see it happening. All my friends from childhood (who are mostly just my brother's friends that I kind of adopted) are not really interested in doing anything that I like to do now, nor is my brother.
My new friends, one of whom I want to bang extremely much, are not really interested in my video game hobbies, which is basically my sole source of stress relief recently. Additionally, they're all in separate classes/schedules/schools now so I don't even get to see them, and they're pretty bad about texting and stuff. And to add insult to injury, the friend I really want to bang IS actually into games... just not on the same system. Honestly at this point I would rather just be able to play games with her.
And I live with a fucking tool, tokes up constantly, like, literally every minute of the day he is squinting at me like he's at an optician's office. He is a fucking slob and makes me want to smash my face into the wall. Also my classes this semester drive me up the motherfucking wall. One is too easy except when the teacher decides to not actually teach the content he tests us on, the other is ridiculously hard for me to keep up with, but everyone else is just fine so I get left in the dust trying to keep up.
Also I keep coming here and being disappointed to find that I still can't find anyone that is really interesting and cute, and any I do find either ignore me hardcore or ignore EVERYONE hardcore.
tl;dr Nobody gives a fuck.
I want to fuck this girl I stalk online who has no idea I exist
>>23685295
That lucky fuck
>>23685295
Gonna need details on this
>>23676082
You are a guy or girl? If you're a girl, trust me, You'll get to do it again. If you're a guy, Trust me, you will be able to do it again.
>>23685295
Ew what the fuck, lmao I'd rather gtfo of that relationship than play incest that's some real weird shit
>>23684385
I'd really like to speak with you. If you have time add my skype: Mickcha212
I have some advice that will help you.
>>23684953
I've had over 30 partners, I'm in a great relationship, and I still feel like there's something to get out of my system. This has been a reoccurring theme through several long term relationships; I still want to go and flirt, turn someone new on, the thrill of the chase...
Ultimately I've realised there's nothing to get out of the system. This _is_ the system, this is what the system feels like. The choice is to either keep the craving under control, or cheat and fuck up a great relationship.
tl;dr: you're not missing anything, even though it feels like you are.
I do drug screens at work, usually preemployment, i sip the piss of hot girls when done.
>>23673898
story?
Ive destroyed two peoples lives by firstly breaking them entirely then building them around me making myself the only support pillar the have, then i left them as to me they were nothing but a project. Cant say i feel bad about it, but im not proud of it either.
Both try to recontact, but i only tease them with security, then turn them away, their suffering is not even on my mind.
Despite having moved on from my ex (har har), I feel like I will never love someone like I loved her ever again.
>>23686240
How can you be so sure?
I 'm in a relationship about 4 years with my girlfriend but i love too much sex. I fuck everything i can, including prostitute. I'm the typical asshole.
>>23686214
I am not judging you just wondering why would you do that? does it amuse you or something?
I have been on the receiving end of this kind of behavior more or less since elementary school. as for now I am slightly able to recognize it but still it feels like I have no powers to resist it. it wasn't just women but "friends" as well.
after all it's nice to have someone who seemingly cares for you and likes you. but if you have little to no self esteem this person becomes everything to you and once he/she leaves your whole world breaks into pieces since the given person was for the time being your whole world.
>>23686275
I know I probably will, but right now, it feels strange and distant.
>>23678668
I feel you
So I dunno how many of you will read this saga, but it's mostly just a vent anyways.
So I go back to school last September
One-year program.
See the prettiest girl ever.
Go “Oh jeeze, I hope she’s in my class”
She’s in my class.
-
I ask her for coffee.
We get coffee.
She seems less than interested in another coffee.
Little sad, but I’ve only known her for a week. NBD.
-
The class goes to a pub the next week.
I arrive late.
She’s already there.
Bee lines over to me.
We hang out for about 3 hours straight just talking/flirting etc.
She literally winds up on my lap sprawling up me.
She’s telling me how great I am, how I’m the funniest guy in the class.
I tell her she’s the prettiest girl in the class.
She recoils and says “I am extremely uncomfortable right now”
I am confused.
She doesn’t get off my lap for another 5 minutes.
Awkward small talk ensues.
Weird night.
-
A little while later, we’re in class.
Teacher decides we’re doing a group project.
Teacher has decided to put us in groups based on who he thinks has “complimentary personalities” and who he thinks would “work well together”.
Of course he puts me with the pretty girl.
Project is to do a report on a company of our choice.
Decide to do some meat substitute thing she likes.
I’ve never had it.
She offers to make me some.
We go shopping together and get the stuff.
The next day she brings me a full lunch with chilli, bread, etc.
It’s awesome, and according to a classmate, pretty girl was “very excited” that I liked it.
>>23686498
Turns out she had a boyfriend.
Don’t know how long they had dated previous.
Not that she ever told me.
I found out by over hearing her tell other people about him, but she would never mention him to me.
She’d actually just refuse to use his name in front of me.
She’d tell me stories about her weekend, like “It was fun, I went out drinking with some people but I wound up having to babysit one of my friends for most of the night since he was puking in the alley.”
Then she’d tell the same story to someone else but replace “friend” with “John”.
-
We started working on projects together a lot.
Not just group projects, but everything.
Heck, we had a group project where we weren’t partners, but decided we’d rather work with each other than the people we were supposed to so we’d just do our parts together and bounce ideas off each other.
One time I got paired with a guy I worked with before, but hated. So as soon as our names were called she suggested we ask the teacher to swap it so she and I were working together instead, which we did.
-
She randomly decided on a Friday to have a board game night at her place on the saturday.
Invited the whole class.
Super late notice.
I show up on the Saturday.
We hang out alone for about 45 minutes.
Then the rest of the people show up.
Her best friend (not in the program) + her best friends boyfriend.
Our two friends from the program (who are dating).
Pretty girl’s boyfriend isn’t coming.
Dunno if he was invited or not?
Suddenly it’s a triple date, only I’m not dating pretty girl.
That doesn’t stop her best friend from referring to it as a triple date like four times.
Good night though.
>>23686502
We also take the subway home together a lot, most often on our own (sometimes other classmates).
Sometimes this leads to us going to AYCE sushi or another restaurant for food, but only when it’s just us.
We talk a lot about our families, or our jobs, our personality types, and occasionally past romances.
This often gets us deep in conversation and we just flat out miss our stop. Happens like 2-3 times per month.
At one point, thinking that since she had a bf I had no shot, I mention I have a tinder date lined up.
She immediately straightens up and asks where. I give the rough intersection but say I’ll have to check the messages to see what the name was.
She says not to check and spends 10 minutes trying to prove that she knows that area really well by guessing the name.
I suggest we get food first because class ended earlier than I was expecting (2pm) and my date wasn’t until much later (8pm).
She says “well I wasn’t the one who scheduled a tinder date for 8 o’clock”.
A little snippy, but maybe that was just me.
Was a no either way.
This then leads her to mention John to me for what is maybe the third time ever? (Ive met him twice)
She tells me about a random argument they had and caps it with “Which is a lot of stress for a guy I’m not officially dating”.
This has me a little puzzled.
Apparently he broke up with her for a stupid reason a month prior and while they’ve since started seeing each other again, she’s not calling him her boyfriend anymore.
Part because she wants to see where it goes, and part because it bugs him.
My tinder date did not go well.
-
She has since broken up with her boyfriend, though they seem to be on talking terms?
Turns out he was pretty manipulative, somewhat emotionally abusive, and pretty clingy.
He also thought he could smoke without her finding out, which was the tipping point.
>>23686507
Since then we’ve been hanging out more.
We’ve been eating lunch together alone a fair amount.
When it was nice we took a walk to the lake and ate lunch on a rock.
I told her she had pretty eyes, she seemed to like that.
-
Basically the point of all this is that the school year is almost over. A bunch of us, her and I included, are going camping next weekend as an end of year thing. But then I won’t be seeing her anywhere near as regularly. I think I need to make a move, but it’s a little daunting.
I know there are a lot of signs pointing to yes, but there's also a lot of signs pointing to no.
I tend to message her first, she talks to other people more in group settings (she does seem to hang out with me more 1v1 though), and the initial night out drinking kinda colored the whole relationship for me.
I dunno. I'm probably going to ask her out after the camping trip unless a golden opportunity presents itself. I just wanted to rant a bit.
>>23686521
from what I have been told by my friends I guess you are going to have really hard times because of her "boyfriend". I have been told multiple times to forget about woman who cannot cut the ties with her ex.
but I really hope you can get over it. you sound like someone who really deserve her or at least one shot without her being manipulated by that clingy fagot she has.
Not gay but I've sucked dick
>>23679844
>I'm a woman trapped in a man's body because I like wearing commonly fetishised women's clothes like panties and thigh socks teehee
It means you're a crossdresser Harry
Stop fucking making shit up and just wear clothes FUCK people like you make me so angry
>teehee I want this cool label because I'm such a special snowflake I'm too insecure to just be a "crossdresser" and I don't get off wearing "male clothes" so call me a "genderfluid!"
You're not a woman trapped in a man's body, you're a man with a faggot trapped inside you, so either quit acting like one or start acting like one and just wear what you fucking what you moron
I'm a transman into other trans people but I'm scared sometimes they won't want me as I am. Straight transwomen go for total straight masc tops, I'm faggy as shit. Same goes for gay ftms. Transbians would just treat me like a cutesy little tomboy girl and fuck no. Straight ftms wouldn't be interested or wouldn't know what to do with me. Bi trans people seem to be the only option but it sucks. Add in my weirder fetishes and I feel at a loss desu
>>23679844
>>23686557
Agreed. It's okay to wear women's clothes and even to find it sexy but it doesn't make you trans or a woman. What makes you trans is the dysphoric want/need to live as the other sex, living as your birth sex being uncomfortable and painful and at odds with the gender you need to live as, not a fetish for being a "sissy" forced feminization panty wearer.
Some mtfs have similar fetishes when they're younger but the point still remains. If you are just turned on by women's clothes, but lack the other elements like dysphoria then why not just embrace being a feminine man. It's less of a fucking hassle on you, honestly, to just crossdress rather than full on transitioning, anyway.
>>23686342
no clue if your still gonna see this but here goes nothing.
I usually see it as a test of skill, the test of seeing how well i can read a persons desires, how well i can adapt to that desire and use it against them. The breaking is usually not very fun (finding out how though can be) but i look at people as if im seeing clay.
Before i get my hands on someone they are fresh clay, wet and malleable, imperfect in my eyes. So i smash them, i break them down till they are nothing but a mess of a person, then i rebuild them and dry them out. Then when im satisfied with my work i leave.
I look at is as a project, like an artist would look at a sculpture, i feel no connection to the piece after i made it. But mostly its a challenge, a test of skill. Ive moved on to video games or other things since im aware of the resulting trauma, even if i dont feel it emotionaly i can see the legal issues that may arise. but even then sometimes its hard to resist.
Haha some call me a psychopath. I guess i am in some ways. Oh and btw im a guy, And in all honesty its the people with good self esteem that are the most "fun" the effort of finding that crack and the joy of finding it is just so rewarding to my mind, its often better than the feeling of fucking them later on.
>>23686699
>Haha some call me a psychopath.
I guess they aren't that far from truth. I used to have a friend if I can call him like that and he acted exactly the same. and he was diagnosed sociopath.
he was older than me, we have been attending art class together and we used to talk about music and computer games most of the time.
on several occasion he even told me that he don't give a single shit about people around him thus including me but I did not really cared anyway.
only problem with him was that unless I agreed with him he got mad as fuck but that comes with the diagnosis. but he was usually right anyway so I was happy to have someone like that around.
he pretty much introduced me to the music I listen right now so I guess it was not complete waste of time after all even though I haven't seen him for like 5 years by now.
>>23673824
I molested my dog
me and a younger female cousin used to mutually masturbate and grind my cock against her pussy. Never penetrated though.
I'm bisexual but everyone I know thinks I'm straight, closeting hard right now.
I hate my body, and it only gets worse as time passes. There are some times when I feel normal, but these are definitely the exception. I wish I had curves; I wish I didn't have this hair on my face or my body; I wish my face had a different shape; I wish my hairline was better, so my long hair would look good without having to wear a hat; I wish I wasn't so tall; I wish my skin was better. I can't bear to look at myself in pictures or in mirrors. I don't even look bad for a man, and if I liked being one, I think I'd be perfectly ok with the way I looked. But I hate being a man.
I'm taking hormones and changing things about myself on the off chance I wind up being able to like my body some time in the distant future, but sometimes it feels so hopeless. Hormones may or may not do anything to help with changing my body, so it's entirely a crap shoot, and it's unlikely I'll get the ~$30,000 I would need for various surgeries. I have no career related ambitions and I feel like I'm wasting my life. I have some fantasy of owning my own little flower shop, but I don't know how realistic that is.
I've wanted, so badly, to fall in love and get married, but at this point I'd just be a burden on someone else, not to mention the fact that I can't even be comfortable with myself at home, much less with someone else. And even if I did get to the point where I was comfortable, most women aren't interested in trannies. Everything just feels so helpless sometimes, but I keep taking all these pills and doing things to change my body on the off chance some of it actually works.
I've thought about suicide, but not in a very serious way. I wouldn't do it while my parents were still alive, but after that, if I'm still like I am now, I might. Not trying to get attention with this or anything, but it's something I needed to get off my chest since even though one or two of my friends have some idea of what's going on with me, I don't wanna get them involved in this mess.
>>23686806
>I wish my hairline was better, so my long hair would look good without having to wear a hat
Get on finasteride, stat. It's way good that you're on E already for sure but yeah, the hairline can be helped.
I feel you on the rest. Good luck, fellow trananon.
>>23686828
I started Finasteride when I started Spiro. It's only been about a month and a half on Fin and Spiro and half a month on E though, so nothing's really changed yet. Thanks though. Hope things go well for you too.
I'm a therapist and i'm lonely.
Went to a friend's house for a party with my girlfriend. She's now in my friends bed/no pants/no shirt. I think I'm just going home.
>>23686848
Thanks. :)
>be me
>date girl for 6+ years
>nasty break up
>3 years later see a girl on here wanting to kill herself
>girl looks just like ex's sister
>want to help, no clue how
>not sure if it's really her
>feels weird, slightly turned on by the thought
Pic related
>>23687020
Turned on by your ex's sister (maybe) wanting to kill herself? Why? What is the boner appeal here
>>23686780
How did you and your cousin start? How old were you both? Did she shave?
>>23687046
Not exactly turned on by the suicide thought, more turned on by the fact she's on this website, which happened to be one of the reasons her sister and I broke up
>>23687062
So she dumped you because you were a 4chan beta weeb and you see her sister who you used to think was hot on here, and are fantasizing about hitting it all over again I guess
>>23687070
Not really, I just want to confirm it's her in case she actually kills herself. Curiosity more than anything. The fact that she turns me on is just icing on the cake
>>23686551
Yeah, I'm kinda hoping for the best but not expecting much. I'm the sort of guy who's pretty upfront about liking a gal and such, but this all unfolded in such a weird way. I'd have dealt with it ages ago if not for the fact that we have to see each other daily, and her on-again-off-again thing kinda throws off my "is she actually into me?" sense. As a result its all built up in my head and i hate that feeling.
Just about everyone in the class thinks we're dating though.
Heck, someone from a different program was talking to us one day and actually went "youre such a cute couple" without the gal arguing the point at all, she just laughed along.
I just wish i knew where I stood haha
>>23683878
Cheers m8
The night my mom died, I called 911 and they tried to instruct me to perform CPR on her. I had had classes before and knew how to do it, but I couldn't.
Her nose was bleeding and it was running down to her mouth and I just fucking froze.
And I think she was already gone, at that point. I don't think I could have helped her, but I was paralyzed. They were trying to tell me to do something that might have helped my mom and I just stood there shaking. I hate knowing that in a moment of crisis, that's who I am.
>>23682587
I saw a thread of B / nude photos of her to send me
research on google and I realized it was a catfish
It is sad because she wanted us to leave to live together and because her from one day to another disappeared
>>23687295
Yeup. That's who you are. You're the one person no one can rely when it matters most.
I know I've done some fucked up shit, but if it came down to it, I have, can, and will do what is necessary to save someone dying.
Of all the beta's on this site, you are the worst of them. I don't say that to be mean, I say that out of pity.
>>23687398
Haha... It was still pretty mean, though.
>>23687407
I know, and I'm almost sorry for that. What are you if the one time, the ONE TIME it matters the absolute most, you can't act. Man, it must be rough to look at yourself at times knowing that's who you are.
I guess at least you know who you are at your very core, which is more than some people can say.
You're Upham, from Saving Private Ryan, only the person you failed, was even more important to you. I'm sorry man, but at least you know you're not meant for being in or around others, who get put in harms way.
>>23676770
You monster.
I was abused by a family member when I was a child, and because of it I have an extreme aversion to sexual intimacy. I don't know how I can form bonds of trust and love with a woman, and it's only getting worse as I grow older.
>>23685155
I think I understand what you're saying--to a degree.
I was always a classic, Type-A introvert; people, and socializing with them, drained me and that was true for even for friends. I liked socializing but I couldn't do it as long or as frequently as others, and I spent a lot of time alone, perfectly happy with that.
Friends and family were all easier to deal with, sure, but they were really an exception to that. I felt very comfortable with them, all the time; felt I could be myself and do as I do and not worry about anything. They did not hinder my inner spaces.
It just happened to a beautiful storm of coincidences I don't think I'll find again--physically attractive, mentally and emotionally attractive, funny, enjoyable and engaging to talk to, as well as plenty of similar hobbies, interests and desires in life.
I wish you the best. Things may change for you.
>>23673824
I regret ever having a fwb situation with this guy over a year ago. Specially now we live together as housemates. He's really clingy and has no friends.
>>23687940
sounds like the 4th circle of hell
Close friend committed suicide this past winter. Everyone thinks she died alone in her wretched little hovel of an apartment. Truth is I was there and watched her go. Could've called for assistance but just stayed with her instead.
Nobody knows except myself and now the indifferent masses of anons.
>>23688074
She's saving a place for you in Hell now
>>23687439
Fuck you, you're a piece of shit.
>>23688074
Why?
Um, hi.
I think you're talking about me.
>>23687940
start seeing someone else and become just friends
>>23687103
> Yeah, I'm kinda hoping for the best but not expecting much
It just happened to me, first I had no expectations, then she 'dumped' the bad boyfriend, got cuddly, had nice time and after a few months she got back to him. First giving some shitty tears, then acting as a jerk.
I only want her but I can't stand no trying my luck with other girls
I'm really into this amazing girl who I can't tell if she's interested in me or not. I keep messing around with other girls but I don't know if I'm wasting my time with her or ruining my opportunity
I feel so shitty about my dating situation. My ex was really, really attractive, way above the level I'd normally pull (her personality made up for it though), and I can't help but judge every girl that I have a chance with against her. I know it's such an asshole attitude, but I've been passing up opportunities with perfectly nice and attractive girls because some part inside of me feels like I'll have "lost" if I hook up with a girl who's less attractive than my ex.
The thing that really complicates it is that my ex was a very high profile cosplayer, and because of that this all isn't happening in a vacuum, there really ARE people out there watching and judging.
At the same time, I think it works the other way too. I've had a lot of girls lose interest when they found out who my ex was, and I think they're probably comparing their selves to her.
I've been talking to this girl, she's on a similar level of weeb to me, is pretty cute but a little chubby, and does cosplay, and I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen when she finds out who my ex was.
>>23689414
Attraction isn't 100% based on looks alone.
But I guess I can somewhat understand what's going through your head.
Turn it around into something good though.
If she finds out who your ex is, and then you prove that you love HER and not your ex. Maybe it will make her feel like she's a much better person than your ex. Or you may have to prove this to her. That will make her feel fucking great... i hope.
Might even get some kinky cosplay sex or something, idk.
It's all speculation. Good luck with her though.
>>23688221
Cry some more. For all my sexual deviancy, at least I'm don't freeze when lives are on the line. I can't imagine someone so beta that they don't have the basic human response to try and help someone who means something to them.
>>23679473
Thanks for sharing.
My partner and I have drawn up some guidelines for when my family gets here for the delivery. I'm planning on adhering to my cultural beliefs as opposed to my parents, so I'm a little nervous about that but hopefully they won't be negative.
>>23679579
I'd say look for people who are interested in an "open relationship" or "polyamory". I can only imagine that as a male, it's difficult not to come off as a creep or a cheater. Online things may be best, and if they're uncertain about your motivations, maybe your partner would be willing to reassure them.
>>23684953
If she's down for you to have a fling, go for it. But cheating is one of the lowest things you can do in a relationship.
Would you be ok if she slept with someone else? If not, then having sex with someone other than her isn't worth it. If you are ok with it, sit her down and ask her sincerely if she wants to sleep with other people just once or twice. Just don't ruin a solid relationship just because of curiosity.
>>23687295
If it makes you feel any better, CPR doesn't work as often as people say it does. Sorry for your loss anon, but a lot of people would've frozen up in the same situation.
I'm on the verge of giving up I can't hold a conversation with women properly over the Web or Irl. The only women I talk to is my mother and my 4 sisters.
I hate seeing people hold small talk conversations because I can't do that..
>tfw keep getting messsages but whenever I try to hold a conversation they all get disinterested
>Tfw always tense up and spout stupid crap Irl
>Tfw always manage to say inappropriate things
It's not worth it anymore
I have a bunch of essays I need to write. Due date of one was yesterday, two more due today. I've structured them all out, know roughly what I need to do, but I can't focus on doing them for more than a few moments at a time.
Been studying for almost three years. This happened last semester too, and I ditched all my subjects. Feel like I'm about to drop out. Good times!
I wish I was good enough for someone. That's it desu. Hopefully someday, someone will find me and say hey you're worth it.
>>23690195
Oh man, I'm in the same boat. I had to do interviews for an article for class, and just couldn't get them lined up in time.
I fucking hate school and wish I could just go back to working, but I'll never make enough in my field to live decently unless I get my degree.
>>23689693
thanks for the words. I'm your second reply in the post.
it really is difficult. I've talked to a couple of people who are in an open relationship or claim polyamory, but nothing much has come of it. they've been too far away or otherwise disinterested after a day or two.
perhaps I just live in the wrong area.
>>23684962
post the pics bro
I come here sometimes to realize that I could've had it worse.
I went out with my cousins and a friend of the family after work on Friday. I never go out, ever and if I do I don't drink but since it's family and I wasn't going to drive I decided to get fucked up. At around 5am I got way too faded and ended up with my face in the toilet, was ready to pass out. But my friend wanted to take me home cause he knows how my parents are and this is where it gets kind of awkward cause I can barely remember anything past this point but
>was too drunk to walk
>friend literally picked me up and carried me to the car very protective like
>drives me home
>don't know what I/we said but at one point he just stops, grabs my chin very tenderly and stared at me intensely for a good 5-10 seconds
>he didn't say or do anything, I didn't say or do anything cause I was so taken aback that someone would touch me like that, especially him
>just kind of tensed up and stared back
>takes me to the door, don't remember how
>can't remember anything else that happened
>can't stop thinking about it
I have a bf of 6 years now, we are all in the same mutual circle since high school were all 24-27- this kind of fucked me up how I got butterflies and blushed like a schoolgirl at that moment cause it took me back to being a teen or something. Still am kind of flustered just thinking about it... He's left for the air force today so I can't even thank him for being a gentleman and taking care of me when I was so sloppy/vulnerable, just feel weird and distracted. Our relationship has always been like opposing forces so now I got all this pent up tension that I just realized even existed. My bf would go apeshit if he ever found out about any of this even though nothing happened but the sexual tension was palpable in that moment like holy shit. Feel guilty but also not really, more confused and kind of sad. I'll see him again eventually but still what the fuck, Patrick.
Just wanted to let that out cause it's been really fucking with me all weekend
>>23689574
Sure you don't. Because I bet you're in that situation all the time. Fuckin fag. And that is a basic human response, you immense retard, fight, flight or freeze.
>>23689529
Thanks.
Yeah, I mean I'm not worried about a serious thing with this girl right now either, in a way I'm worried about her getting insecure about it before we're far enough along though.
Kinky cosplay sex would definitely be a nice thing, and I kind of have a feeling that it's a pretty serious possibility, we've only been texting for two days and she's already sending suggestive selfies. I'll take some fun in costume with a girl who's got a little extra on her over the once every two months "get it over with" missionary I had with my 9/10 ex, that's for sure.
Im a guy who just wants to flirt and sext anonymously with girls, but the culture of assholes spreading the pictures has ruined it for me. Now people are much more reserved and less open.
Is it really so bad to want to get intimate with a girl over the phone?
>>23683514
pretty
>30
>married
I secretly feel like my value as a person is based on my appearance. I'm not as chibi cute as I was in my early 20s and now I feel like my boyish babyface combined with a receding hairline just makes me look too weird. I feel worthless because of it but I can't shake it.
>>23690353
damn thats just some intense shit. dont feel bad about it though since nothing happened, you had a pretty natural reaction to the situation.
>>23687646
It's going to take time and proper support, OP. You can't do this alone. Your trust was violated by someone who was supposed to love and protect you. I really hope you can get support from others. It may be the only way you can allow yourself to trust and love again. You understandably are protecting yourself from that kind of heinous act from ever happening again... But you need to know that you couldn't have prevented it. It's not your fault. You were a child. It's not your fault. Say that 10x. You have so many lives still ahead of you. I really hope you can meet with people who can help.
>>23687295
Your mother did not die because of you, OP. I'm sorry that in a time of crisis that your body was so terrified and shocked that you couldn't do as instructed, but it's not your fault that your mother died. She might've already been gone. CPR might not have saved her. You could've injured her or accelerated her death by administering it incorrectly.
Your guilt and shame must be unbearable at times. But you won't always freeze when you need to be brave. And I bet you've been brave before in your past. This horrible moment doesn't set in stone and define who you are as a person forever. Please try to keep your mind open to that possibility. Please try to keep your mind open to the idea of forgiving yourself for not being able to do something that you thought you should have.
>>23686880
It's OK. I read a stat about how therapists commonly choose that profession because they have overcome their own OCD/addiction/depression/whatever but they still have to manage their own demons even after being in "recovery"
>>23676840
Hmmm, Deryk?
I'm a 27 year old virgin and it feels terrible. I crave sex so much these days, yet I know I don't deserve it.
It's a hurtful thought, but whatever. Life goes on, I guess.
I lost my virginity to my dog. feelsbadman
I miss my ex very much
I've been with other people, but he still rattles in my head at the end of the day
I miss how artistically talented he was, and I wish things could go back to the way they were
I catfished my friend.
>>23691518
Time to greentext!
i feel weak.
>>23691526
Said friend lurks here.
>>23673824
I'm in a relationship that is temporarily long-distance (1 month down, 2 to go). I was lonely and bored so I posted pictures of myself naked on another site. I also talked to a few guys quasi-sexually on kik.
I guess I didn't technically cheat, but I still feel bad about it. It's shitty of me, but I feel like I need some sort of sexual outlet while I'm away. Or at the very least to know I'm still desirable.
>>23690943
I guess it's the fact that I have a flickering of a crush now, feels like I'm emotionally cheating or something. Good to know that's it's natural to react this way though, really glad I expressed my confusion and will just keep an eye on myself whenever he's around again
>>23675441
How old are you anon?
>>23691843
POST IT
I want to beat the shit out of a girl who my boyfriend of about 3 years cheated on me with. It's been about 2 months since we broke up, and I'm only getting angrier and more spiteful as time goes on.
I would rather be in long distance relationships. I dunno why. I often will meet people near me, the same city, I've completely put them off for someone across the country. It's not like I'm ugly or even that shy. When I am with someone who's in another state I want that affection in person. It's so conflicting for me. I was in an on and off 5 year relationship with someone, and during that time I would often seek out some one else in a father state who would be more supportive I guess. I don't get myself sometimes and I can't stand feeling like I can't really be truly satisfied in a reltationship
I feel torn at all times.
I look at my girlfriend, and I'm happy. But she loves me a lot more than I love her. Despite this, I am emotionally dependant like a dog to her, and I get frustrated with it. She'll leave to another room and I'll get fidgety. But when I say this, I also find myself questioning whether or not I do love her or is it me just being obsessive. I still have thoughts about cheating on her, and almost did last night making out with this girl who wanted to have a threesome (her kid had school, so she only chose one of us to fuck). If I would've been chosen, I would've gladly went through with it and then some, despite my gf willing to fuck at anytime.
I don't care about my well-being at all, and have failed killing myself twice now. I've convinced myself to turn to substances-- The bottle, cigs, coke. Whether it's just dumb luck, or I just suck at trying to kill myself, I figure doing the old substance abuse will accelerate my goal.
I'm graduating from my university this week, and like the rest of my achievements as well as others, I no longer see a big deal about them.
There's another girl in my life that helps me vent through music (lol let's start a band!) and I love her from an admiration perspective, but I feel like it'll be something else in a few months, and she's dead set on somebody else in her life. So in order to keep that from happening, I've been pushing her, as well as others. I no longer talk at work, and rarely in public now.
I just want to be happy, and nothing seems to do it anymore. I only hope my next suicide attempt actually works. Thinking about that gives me a twisted sense of contentment.
Alright i try to keep it as short as possible
>Rather Handsome, charming and easy to
>hurted and lied to many people
>Never talked to my dad since 4 Years.
>Fucked over several relationships, just because i felt like it, and because i can.
>Had intercourse with many girls who were in a serious relationship
>and i lie to my friends about being hurt, just to feel "human/Normal"
>I sometimes hate myself for what i've become, but i enjoy it most of the time.
>>23692362
Not healthy, anon. He bears the brunt of the blame, and you need to let your anger go.
I fell for a girl off of here who only hung out with me because she was bored and pitied me.
She Was absurdly Out of my league and a complete train wreck.
She was also the first woman to spend any kind of time with me in a decade.
I hate the fact that I ever felt anything for her.
>>23684385
I'm 26 and have also never been on a date.
I'm also very familiar with being invisible to the opposite sex.
my friends and family have never let me talk to them about depression or anything like that.
I know that I will never be anybody's special someone.
I'm reserved to the fact that I'm going to die alone, but I still try out of sheer stubbornness.
>>23692415
Cool story bro.
Okay, let's see...
I feel, like, bored. Of life. And the world.
Not that I've exhausted every possibility. No, I know I haven't even scratched the surface. It's more like an...urge. A desire. For companionship.
I wish I had someone who could reinvigorate me and restore my faith. I honestly go about days feeling completely stagnant and kind of in a gray state because of having nobody to talk to.
...shit. I dunno.
>>23692412
wow dude i feel you.
i dont really love my gf anymore we've been together for several years now and ive (kinda) cheated on her once, she found out and i think she still subconsciously hates me for it. I think she has a perfect character only problem is im an (at the moment drunk) narcisstic asshole who cant appreciate her inner beauty because i always find myself criticizing her appearence in my thoughts (she isnt exactly my dream girl when it comes to looks). also i dropped out of uni and have been haunted by depression and suicidal thoughts for several months now. i'm talking to a therapist about it, but i dont know if it will actually help. lol.
>>23692412
>>23692587
btw i also make music but i believe its shitty and nobody would want to listen to it.
>>23692606
The girl who wants to start a band bought me an acoustic guitar so I can start learning before the electric guitar. But it's been in its case for so long I just look at it and walk away.
My only true release is when I'm doped up on drugs and partying, really. It's sad, but it is what it is. What kind of music?
>>23692555
>And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
>>23692620
some weird experimental electronic music i make with my keyboard and cubase. if you want to talk maybe we can go to some chatting website where we just can have a conversation without making an account or whatever? i dont know of any though...i mean its ok if you dont want to its just that im a little bit drunk right now and want to talk to someone right now...
>>23692630
Done and done.
>>23690299
Yeah man, if you're not in a major city, it can be SUPER difficult.
Even then, there are a ton of problems in OR/Poly lifestyles that can lead to. But constant communication with your partner usually keeps trouble away.
>>23692652
ok just added you, im loner6666
>>23673824
story
i had sex with a guy to keep him from shooting up my high school, he was freaking out behind a dumpster. he had a pistol in one hand and a shotgun on his back. i told him if he thew the guns away and promised to get therapy i would have sex with him. he agreed and railed me over the dumpster.
>>23692876
>things that didn't happen
>>23675439
add me on kik: loner6666
we can talk
I am in a happy relationship but I often miss being a camwhore.
>>23692999
also add me on kik: loner6666
and send me pics lol
>>23692999
And you are whom?
>>23692334
I'll greentext it soon. I'd love to see the stupid cunt squirming.
I've been so lonely for so long. I have bipolar depression and anxiety so I'm currently feeling like shit. I've hated myself for a long time and have been thinking suicidal thoughts recently and looking down the road it might be a good option. Without a partner I'm just left feeling pointless and without any meaning. I'm too scared to try out one of those suicide hotlines or to see a psychiatrist. I think all I need is just someone who would take the time to listen because I hate this incessant self-pity, it makes me sound like an attention whore. I just don't know how to get rid of these complex emotions I've harbored all these years.
i'm 26,and i fuck girls 15 years or older, or any young girl with decent sized breasts. does that make me a pedo?
>>23693908
By many countries arbitrary standards, it makes you a predator and classified as a pedo. However there are plenty of other countries in the world where it's legally and morally acceptable. So like I said, it's depends on whose arbitrary standards you're comparing to.
>>23678640
add me on kik, i ve got a propose for you rockkxx
When I was 14 my younger brother walked in on me changing before bed and I let him play with my breasts and then he asked to do it again the next morning and I told him that it was bad and it was never mentioned or happened again
But I hate myself for it, I don't even understand why it happened or how I let it happen, but I think about it every day and night and how much of a disgusting person I am, and everyone would abandon me if they ever found out about this disgusting thing I did 9 years ago, I'm absolutely terrified of children because I feel that because of what happened I'm clearly messed up and shouldn't be allowed near them, I get constant thoughts of people yelling at me in my head telling me I'm disgusting and a paedophile and that everyone will leave me when they find out.
I'm disgusting. I deserve every horrible thing that's happened to me since that day.
Fuck I just hate myself for it so much
>>23693189
how old r u?
If u post contact, i could probably help a lot, but only if ur not on meds currently.
>>23691127
how?details anon,we need details
>>23694269
there's worse people than you out there
fret not
>>23694269
A Momentary Lapse of Reason
>>23694269
You were both kids, anon. You need to talk to a professional to forgive yourself. You didn't force him to touch you. You stopped it from becoming anything more. I understand you feel guilty and are terrified of making mistakes in the future, but you have to understand that you're a different person now.
After having been cheated on by my ex-fiance 5 years ago i "wanted to get back at the world" and now i fetishize cheating. I'm with a great girl whom i love deeply, but all i want to do is cheat on her by hooking up with other guy's women. I love watching cuck porn from the perspective of being the "bull" or the alpha.
I like to get really high and get gang raped. Walking around in the ghetto, going to parties, gay clubs.
My ex left me after 5 years and even tho I look fine, I'm at my lowest point in my life and suppress it with drugs. She's better than me and it kills me because now she knows it
>>23677039
Dont leave us hanging whats the story behind it
I know it isn't my fault she passed, but i will always feel responsible
I have a fetish for cheating, have had 2 totally committed relationships in the past few years but that makes other people a billion times for attractive.
Have never cheated physically though, I feel like I'd regret it.
>>23694269
You need sexual therapy through incest roleplay
It just so happens I'm a licensed sex therapist and I'm willing to take you on, pro bono
I travel on business twice every quarter.
When I'm in a different country on business, I almost ALWAYS wind up fucking someone, and for the past eight years, have never worn a condom.
I get tested routinely for STDs and always come back negative.
I never see the women again.
But the odds are I have at least one kid out there. Germany, Spain, France, Russia, Mexico, China, Japan, Korea, Brazil, Iran, Israel.
But if I travel for a vacation, I nearly never, EVER have sex, and if I do, I'm almost always utterly terrified I'll get some random disease.
That, and the idea that I might be leaving little spawnlings in different countries still makes me horny as hell.
I should probably get married and have an actual family instead of pulling this kind of shit all the time; the reality of parenthood versus the potential might make it a lot easier to dial it way back.
>>23696700
You mean pro boner
nyuk nyuk nyuk
OH WAIT THAT WAS YOUR JOKE SORRY
Honestly, I'm a complete slut and I don't even care. I stay clean but will take any dick at any point in my life. 2nd part of this confession, I love attention on me for being a slut.
With that being said, if you're not too much of a pussy, I'd love pics of you cock. Text them to me (406) 942-0902. Muah!
>>23675081
Be her fucking boi toy and let her play with your hole whenever she wants. Your life will be so much better. I married up and it's great.
I gay married my best friend so I could get more money out of the air force
>>23696838
the worst
>>23673824
I'm impulsively manipulative and I'm really good at it.
I don't even do it for personal gain half the time, I just like how it makes me feel. I worry I'm turning out like my father or my grandparents, which is, to give you the cliffnotes, scary.
- I would fuck my gf's best friend in a heart-beat.
- I've tried putting carrots up my butt, but didn't like it.
- I am absolute chaserscum.
- I once puked when watching a bukkake vid.
- I steal things sometimes.
i almost exclusively date and sleep with awkward nerds because i love the attention they give me
Most of me feels completely 100% devoted and attached to my boyfriend. But a small part of me wants to fuck other people when I'm not physically in his presence. He's a really great guy and I'll feel like shit if I hurt him like I've hurt the rest.
>>23676769
Kek you fucked a retard
I live in Syria and I got caught by the police making out with my gf in the car (that's illegal here) and we almost went to jail but i bribed the policemen
.
I know most of the world don't consider this a big deal but in here going to jail means her family would know we were making out.. and if her family knew they'd probably hurt her physically or even kill her in the name of stupid "family honor"
I can't even tell my closest friends or anyone in fact, and i've been keeping this secret for 3 months now
.............
*fun fact*
we didn't even see each other since that happened.. but we text and sext
---------
write a reply for me if you have anything to say about that
>>23697269
Join the Hêzên Sûriya Demokratî and kill for your freedom?
>>23697283
fuck war fuck war fuck war fuck war
war is the reason i had no private place to go to with my gf
war never get you freedom.. weapons are made to kill freedom not to revive it
>>23697269
I just read an article about how some folks throw acid on women's faces for less than that, I believe the fear. Unfortunately I'm in the believe that your entire area of nations is fucked beyond all recognition, so I'd say get the fuck out of there with her.
>>23697314
true.. and that's what i'm planning to do after I graduate (in a year or so)
although getting her out with me is probably impossible
>>23697300
Nice naïve view there, sport. But the thing is, when there are people willing to imprison or even kill kids for KISSING, and those people have guns, nice sentiments ain't gonna do shit. You're not gonna talk them into being nicer. You need guns of your own. It's terrible and it would be awesome if things worked like you want them to, but sadly that is not the case.
Otherwise, just do this >>23697314
>>23697328
Truly sorry to hear that, I can't even imagine living in a place like that.
>>23673824
Yeah... A couple years back at a new years get together I got drunk and fucked my girlfriend's roommate. She didn't find out until after we broke up. Why I'm posting here is because my only regret in this situation was the roommate was overall fugly.
Lots and lots of venting about to happen.
1. My head is kinda fucked up. On one side, I'm a former self harmer and I have PTSD, so I know I'm capable of feels. On the other side I love manipulating people just for fun, and see how far I can push them. I rarely feel something for other people other than my sister and nephew, but still I have tons of friend who thinks I care for them and want them to be happy. The truth is I just keep them in my life so I'm not lonely, also so I can secretly fuck with them.
2. I'm a rape survivor, so sex can be hard for me. Every time I have sex I black out, and I can only remember small parts afterwards. Still, I love sex right before the penetration, and teasing a guy is probably the best thing I know.
3. I miss my ex like crazy. We were together for a year almost 5 years ago, and I ditched him for another boy. We hooked up about a year ago, but once I had him I lost all interest. We had crazy chemistry and I've never felt anything close to that before, but I still can't bring myself to want him except when I can't have him. Stupid as fuck.
>>23698380
I don't know jack shit about human psychology, but have you considered the possibility that your love of manipulation is caused by your PTSD?
Like, it's not that outlandish. Maybe it's your way of coping, or even a subconscious way of getting back at the world. I'unno.
I've fallen in love with my girlfriend's friend.
Almost a year now I've lived like this. I feel like I'm being torn apart, I feel like I'm betraying my girlfriend of 4 years.
What's worse is I have basically no chance with her friend. We rarely meet and talk. She doesn't seem interested almost at all. And I know she's very loyal to my girlfriend, so I doubt that I could even get any closure by telling her in private.
Now its getting worse. This problem has started to affect my daily life. I often lack motivation, I waste time in pointless contemplation and I often find myself thinking that life has lost all meaning.
I see no solution to the problem that doesn't involve the breakdown of my current relationship with my girlfriend, who I also love and want to keep by the way
Pretty terrible cliche romcom shit, but I'm definitely in love with my ex-girlfriend. We both moved on and we've both been in relationships with other people for a long time now (about 2 years each) but we just have this connection that is impossible to ignore.
For whatever reason we were both at a party without our significant others and as soon as we found ourselves alone it was like we had never broken up.
I'm ready to leave my gf for her but she is in it for the long haul with her bf, despite admitting that she felt something for me that night. Ever since I've just been going through the paces, counting down the days until graduation when I can finally be free from this limbo,
I lie to everyone I know and tell all my friends different stories about myself(filles with lies). My biggest nightmare is a meeting between my friends,and that they will realise how much I have lied to all of them.
Do you have any advice, people of soc?
I haven't been in a relationship in almost 5 years and wouldn't even know what to do if I managed to get another girl friend.
My only desires left in life are to travel the world and do a shit ton of drugs but I'm masquerading as a young professional with goals in mind.
I regret a majority of my life choices.
>>23698913
I know exactly how you feel.
Burn all bridges or keep them separated. It's the only way.
My uncle molested me as a child abroad. Long story short : I had blocked out the memories of him touching me until I was committed to a psychiatric hospital (then later moved to a different one) I remembered him touching my clitoris and that's the day I died on the inside, I became aroused when he touched my clitoris and since then (I was 10/11) I became obsessed with rape and have been raped other times since then. It was the only thing that could make me orgasm. I thought that was all but my memories are in small fragments and some days ago I started remembering how I was in pain down there at night. I remembered one night, waking up from unbearable pain and when I woke up I only saw the door shutting, as if someone had been in the room but ran out quickly when they saw me wake up. I can't eat anymore, I feel so filthy on the inside. I can't sleep either.
What makes me cry at night is how he used what I love most in my life against me, literature. I don't need to be super specific here as I'm a bit paranoid about people finding out who I am but; My uncle would tell me about a certain play (written by a literary God) where a prince has to avenge his father's death. I was completely consumed with his stories, but this one about the prince stuck with me forever. I have since read that masterpiece 8 times. And I didn't even remember him using it against me when I read it for the first time at age 18. I used to be consumed with the ending, reading it could almost make me aroused, the sad, disturbed but highly intelligent prince gets his revenge, he kills his uncle who killed his father. I wanted my revenge too.
I no longer seek revenge, I now seek help for my uncle. He is a very sick, depraved individual.. I have become obsessed with googling him lately, I find all kinds of FB posts he's made. He even made two different posts on Chelsea Clinton's page, pleading for help, telling her to ask her parents for help. I feel so sad for him.
>>23677857
Hello Tommy Frey
Nice fedora buddy :^)
I'm fear I will never be good enough for anyone else because I fear I will never be good enough for myself.
I'm lonely.
31/m. Not close to my family. Live alone in a 1br apartment. Still have a few friends but most of them are moving on with their lives so it's hard to get together. 9-5s. Houses. Spouses. Kids. I work two jobs which are usually evenings and weekends.
Barely have any experience with the opposite sex. Virgin, few dates but nothing really significant. Last one was 3 years ago. Been reluctant to try to start again since I'm so far behind where I should be as a man in my 30s.
I think at this point I want someone to cuddle with more than someone to fuck, not that I don't want to have sex though. Intimacy seems beautiful, but beggars can't be choosers, I guess.
I dunno. I wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle and I should just throw in the towel. I might be just too far-gone to make up for lost time.
I hated who I was becoming so I broke everything that defined me in a fit of drunken rage, including two of my own fingers so I couldn't play my instrument anymore.
Now I'm back to square one. I think I'm finally starting to feel better.
>>23699305
Don't give up.
>>23697186
ha same
I'm not attracted to my wife anymore. I'm 30, as is she. We are a great team and support each other, but there's no energy left. Meanwhile, a close friend of mine (who is also married) and I have fallen in love. We talk all the time, and are very much infatuated with each other. We are better fits for each other than our spouses in terms of sex, careers, intelligence, etc.
Fuck.
I'm turning 19 next week, horribly depressed almost perpetually, and lost my enjoyment for most things.
I'm constantly teetering between using Craigslist to finally lose my virginity, trying to abandon the notion of sex altogether, attempting to be more social for sex (except I know that's not how it works), and waiting until I meet the right person (whoever that is) to lose it to without regrets.
I hate myself and my constant habits, addictions, and things.
I'm heterosexual but I masturbate to Lesbian bbw porn this started when I was 13 & I think it's related to my anorexia & Bulimia I am very ashamed of it yet I'm open minded as fuck like I believe in necrophilia rights & think statutory rape is bullshit & I'm not actually attracted to fat chicks it's about pent up guilt & self hatred
I keep having vivid sex dreams about my coworker who's probably old enough to be my dad. I feel anxious being around him at work even though he'll never know about it.
My life is a never ending whirlwind of drugs and sex and danger
My human integrity demands more of myself than this, but I am addicted to everything imaginable and cannot stop having fun
I take, no lie, let me think... 19 pills every day, none prescribed
>>23700077
just remember the same thing will happen with the next girl
>>23700170
Love it. Love everything about it.
I have never watched the first episodes of Kimagure Orange Road.
Add me on kik:
Nightshade2x
>>23684953
dude are you me except i've only been with my one girl for 7 years and i think about my girl's friend every fuckin day for 6 months.
Fucking sucks man.
I just want to fuck something new since I know what my girl has to offer.
>>23691104
your initials RF/BF? oh man thatd be crazzzzzzyyyyy if this was youuuu!
Hint: I just talked to today and we were in sync but you fucked it up with your favorite color not being red, but it was just a hiccup.
if you're not RF/BF, you fucking got my hopes up because i'm super crazy this girl.
and i fucking hate ya.
>>23700591
goddamn it she's 26. mother fuck.
have faith anon. youre time will come. never too late. seriously.
>>23698798
(I'm in a replying mood today)
Dude this is my situation exactly.
I literally have no chance, I've met this girl twice. Prob not interested. Also very loyal and I've also thought about telling her in private. The constant wondering. Nothing else matters. And of course the no fucking solution because my girlfriend loves the fuck outta me who I also love extremely.
Jesus fuck you have my same issues.
This is all I think about and it is fucking torture.
I know your pain, truly anon.
Goddamn it's depressing.
Sometimes I get lucky and forget to think about her.
>>23677863
A bit late but... not really, he was just more kinky.
Depressed as fuck, life has been nothing but fucked up shit happening to me and my family. The girl that I love and is also my best friend, doesn't feel the same way I feel. Which just makes me feel even worse.I'm at the point where I think I should just kill myself.
God damn why is finding happiness so god damn hard in life.
>>23700625
sounds hot. kinkier how so?
>>23700646
I know it's always fucking easier to say rather than hear but hang in there. As for your best friend, just cherish your friendship and find another and look for someone to share your happiness with. Refusing to do so results in pain and suffering. And since you're already experiencing that, save yourself some pain, mate. Move on.
Don't off yourself. Such fag thing to do. You wanna fuck your senpai up some more?? Wait it out man. Yeah you're in dark days, but just wait and the good times will come.
>>23700653
You wanna fuck your family up some more??
guess senpai turns to sempai, or maybe im crazy
>>23700655
Yeah I know, I'm probably too pussy to go through with it anyways. Though suicidal thoughts have a been a thing in my mind for a while now. I've thought of cutting ties with my best friend, because me liking her cause us to have arguments...quite a lot lately.
The thing that makes me refuse to move on is she had feelings for me at one point, but I did something stupid and which made her feelings instantly disappear. Which I'm still denial/refuse to accept, I think she's perfect, we connect well and she makes me super happy I also make her super happy (not so much atm though). She's also going through some hard times but I have no idea how to handle the situation desu.
>>23700682
just keep each other company. you seem to know what makes her happy. do more of that with less of the desire your have for her mixed into that. maybe she'll change how she feels about you, shit anything's possible, but just be there for her as a friend. You're both in dark times and dont let your feelings for her fuck up your friendship. That can wait. Patience anon.
Im sure her smile is enough to keep you happy. Seek pleasure and happiness by providing it.
A long time ago when i was only 14 (23 now) I met a guy on a meet and fuck site and he kinda confused me into meeting him. So he came by his car a bit ourside of my familys house. And i met him there, he even opened the car door for me.
Once inside the car he started to unzip my pants and belt, then he started sucking my cock. Came in like 3 seconds, he then asked if i wanted to try it on him, but i said no. So we chatted for awhile in the car, and then i went home again.
To this day i still regret not sucking it or atleast touching it.. I think about it almost everytime i masturbate and cum buckets every time.
Today I have a girlfriend of 3 years but im afraid to tell her about tthati crave cock almost every day.
And i'm afraid im more gay then bi
I once went to a house party of a bunch of assholes that invited me cause I was in the same class. When everyone had passed out I proceeded to give everyone including the girls an "anti-mohawk" with a razer including myself as to not get caught. I had really short hair at the time and didn't care about being skinhead for a while. Let's just say I felt I really belong with those assholes then.
>>23701554
Hi.
You should read the story about Freddie Mercury, trust me when I say that you might feel a bit better afterwards.
I like you. You're not conventionally pretty and there's cuter girls that work at the same place that I've gotten better reactions from, that are probably hotter, that might be better overall (that's not something I think I'd say out loud, but I want to write down my thoughts). But I like you because of how you look and how you act; it's the small things that add up and make you attractive. I wish I knew more about you and I wish I knew how to tell you that I might be interested in you. I'm not good with these things; I overthink things and generally don't know how to read people oe their actions/reactions.
At this point, I want to talk to you just so I can get you out of my head and focus. I'm not obsessed, I just don't have anything else to think about.
>>23702344
thats fucking funny
I want to cheat on my gf with local hoes but Im afraid she will kill herself if I get caught. I lve her and want her to be happy but she isnt enough right now.
I'm so desperate it's not even funny. At this point, I'm willing to do just about anything to get sex. I feel so undesirable it's driving me insane!
I really want a boyfriend but I am not sure if I can even handle it anymore. My longest relationship is literally a few months of fooling around and i'm insecure as fuck and probably depressed.
Also I've done sexual things with my closeted bisexual friend on multiple occasions, despite knowing full well he has a girlfriend, and I don't have the balls to tell her and shake up our entire social circle even though I feel obligated to do so.
I've lost almost all faith in women. But at the same time I've lost all faith in myself.
I feel like most women now are trash but even if I did find a decent one I'd never be good enough for her.
I used to be a really good person, I'd be really generous, always make time for everyone and I really loved to help. I'd never accept anything from anyone ever, now I do it all the time. No I feel like I've just been worn down from trying to help everyone around me, everyone is pulling me from different sides and I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing with myself.
Everyone is coming to me with their relationship problems and loneliness but I haven't had a gf in nearly 2 years and I'm lonely as fuck anyway.
Why am I not a good person anymore?
This fucking post makes no sense
I met a girl on here a while back that was seriously one of the coolest people I've ever met, I think we clicked on a lot of levels. Things were great while they lasted but they kind of fell apart despite both of us trying to reconnect. Part of me wants to contact her again but its been a while and I'm not going to look like a desperate loser on the off chance they want to try talking again.
I do wish I'd taken things slower just to have someone like that as a friend rather than it turning into an intense internet-sex coupling that burned out when I wasn't ready to return stronger feelings yet because of other things going on. Hopefully this is vague enough that if they read this they won't connect the dots since that isn't why I wrote it.
I think it boils down to how they made me feel like I could have something more real and meaningful than fuckbuddies to somebody if I found the right person, why does distance have to be so cruel? Thanks to anyone who read this far.
I'm a diagnosed sociopath, nobody knows this but my therapist. It's not as easy and fun as movies make it out to be, I'm permanently bored and I can't maintain any relationship, with any person for too long because they start getting on my nerves and I chase them away with my horrible behavior.
I made my first ever "friend" commit suicide because I was curious if I can do it
I broke into my highschool "best friend's" apartment when I knew he was on a holiday and stole a bunch of shit.
I fucked girlfriends of a few of my later friends, all my exes hate my guts/fear me
I always lie and con people for money or other favors. I have never been to jail however, and I clean up my own mess so all of my malicious deeds are kept under the carpet.
All the while I used to make great first impressions by being this charming glib bastard, but i feel like I'm losing my touch now. I'm resisting my impulses less and less and i stand out more and more. My therapist believes that I might become unstable and dangerous so she set some goals for me to accomplish in the next few weeks or she will report me to the authorities as a Psychopath.
And /soc/ I myself am also scared that I might snap. I can't afford to lose control like that. I could lose my job, my career, reputation everything I've worked on. (I'm a lawyer/politician now, with a fairly impressive resume considering my age) It's terrifying.
A heartless cunt I may be, but I have wishes and ambitions too; also a life
I'm destroying my heart by taking prescription appetite suppressants. They don't even work anymore (tolerance), but I take them anyway. And I'm not even skinny.
>>23697269
allah sa3edak ya habibi
>>23703402
>or she will report me to the authorities as a Psychopath
Wow, you have no idea how anything works. You could not be more full of shit if you tried.
I've posted a couple of things on these types of threads but i just want to get this out.I started dating my best friend though senior year before she cheated on me with her coworker. Looking back at it, it wasn't so bad because it was a kiss and that was it while we were dating but I broke up with her regardless. We were able to remain friends until I found out she was dating the guy who kissed her, which is where I cut off all ties. The issue was that we are in the same friend group so I have to talk to her. It was a good 6 months before I spoke to her again, and when I talked to her she had told me that the coworker emotionally abused her until finally she dumped him.
Since then we've been an unofficial thing, I've had sex with several people since we've resumed talking so it's not like i'm hung up on her. For a majority of the time it's pretty good, and its great when we're together (we go to separate colleges in the same state). The issue is that she had severe social anxiety, low self esteem, and that was before the emotional abuse set it. Now she hears sometimes hears his voice berating her, contemplates suicide, and easily gets frustrated with herself for not easily making friends, or being perfect at everything the first time she does it. There are plenty of good qualities and i'm only highlighting the bad because since i'm not around I can't help her get through all of it other than talk her down on the phone.
Right now at her college they're doing something where victims of sexual assault put shit on t-shirts. It may have helped them but it basically set her back to when we first were together in a long time and she barely was able to handle me touching her. Now she said that she never wants to talk "dirty" again, except I know that she will and then proceed to hate herself for being a hypocrite. I don't know, it was just easier in high school cause seeing me basically reset all the negative emotions that she had, and now all they do is build up.
>>23704339
I just hate not being able to be there for her, because I know that I can calm her down faster than pretty much everyone else in her life, and I'm so used to it by now. Pretty much all the "I hate you" or "I want you to find someone else." yelling goes out in one ear and out the other because I know she loves me more than anything, including herself. I'm just scared that since I'm not there I'll end up missing something. She's recently revealed somewhat of how she feels to her parents, siblings, and roommates. She feel's guilty for telling them/showing them how bad she gets because none of them have learned how to handle it like I have.
I'm just waiting for the summer, where I can get a car and pretty much see her all the damn time. I know that I can help her work through all her issues but I'm never with her long enough to do so. It's a pain in my ass being so far away from her when all I want to do is hide her away from the world and protect her. I guess I can say I am stuck up on her, knowing that no matter how many girls I end up fucking i'll probably end up with her anyways.
I fucked a girl knowing she had a boyfriend. Met her at a friends party, she kept like being all touchy with me but kept saying she had a bf. Long story short I ended up fucking her 3 times that night, the last time without a condom and I came inside her.
>>23693189
I've felt the same way for the past few years, and, it's funny how well you described what I feel like I'm going through right now.
We could probably be a mutual shoulder to lean on, if you'd want.
>>23695892
Tell us some stories about that, we want to hear
>>23692876
If that's true, you're a hero. Scary though, what if he threatens to do it if you don't have sex with him again?
I'm a 20 y/o guy and I have this deep desire to have a mommy-dom girlfriend because I'm afraid of my own mother & she never mentally aged past 14. I like the idea of being submissive to a female partner, but not in a way that's too harsh; more nurturing with light punishments.
I feel like a sick fuck ;~; Should I just man up? I'm a short, young-looking pussy and I have extreme social anxiety. I feel like the world wasn't made for people like me...
My long distance gf of about a year completely fades away from me and may, or may not have killed herself. And I honestly don't want to know, because there was really no way that relationship wasn't going to end horrifically.
Had a date set for tomorrow, first one since breaking up with my exGF 3 years ago.
She just texted me to say she's sick and won't be able to make it.
FML, I know this kind of shit is normal with online dating, but it stings pretty bad when you're lucky to get one girl a month to even reply to your first message.
I've got this huge, impossible, stupid crush on a married professor. I've obviously been attracted to teachers before, but this is different. I couldn't build a more perfect guy from scratch. Can someone please tell me how to move on?
>>23692415
Sociopath
>>23708181
r u hot?
The girl who rejected me when i asked her out told me and some friends she asked someone out and they rejected her and on the inside i had a feeling of just i dont know happiness?
My boyfriend has an insanely small cock and doesn't really like having sex, says he doesn't have enough motivation. I miss the days of getting attention when I was camwhore. I love the man but I'm so sexually frustrated.
>>23708411
I hope he's at least a good person. Why not go back to camwhoring anyway? It's not cheating.
Every motherfucker i've attempted to meetup with has bailed. How fucking hard is it to break out a "not interested" after giving me the goddamed runaround
>>23708434
He is the type of person who would count it as cheating
>>23676396
>even though now I know what's wrong with me
I think you're making excuses and running away from happiness. I think you're in a path of being miserable and I think that you think that makes you a martyr, since you know you're suffering but you think this is the best for both people.
Just grow some balls and be honest with your feelings. Face your fears.
>>23703306
I think that you should talk to "her"
54 years old, visited 4chan most days for about 9 years now
Had more sex in the last 7 months than I have in my entire life before that
It's because I'm trying to have a baby with a female friend
Going from virtually no sex to having to have sex on particular days, in a particular way, and cum in a particular way, no mistakes
Sort of proud of myself at how well it's gone so far
No baby yet, though
I wish my boyfriend would love me but he won't.
Sometimes he thinks he does... he's too fickle though. He's in love or he want's me to just leave, it's unpredictable and exhausting.
I'm not sure if I even care about him at this point or if I'm just hanging around out of spite.
That sounds so shitty to say. I would never do anything to hurt him. I'm just tired.
>>23708613
It's time to move on anon. It will fall apart eventually but it could be over months or years. If you have to think twice about still being with him, you already know it's time to leave.
>I sucked another dude's dick with a plastic wrapper when I was 13, he was 12
>He sucked mine too
>I kissed a gay guy after finishing a 5th of cheap ass vodka once
I identify as straight so practically no one knows this...
>I wish I had a hot sister/step sister to engage in incest with
>kind of turned on by 13-14 year old girls, but would never act on it or view cheese pizza
>>23708613
maybe, he just using you
>>23708551
If she contacted me I would but I made it clear that I wanted to keep communication open so her not writing tells me what I need to know, I'm not going to force it. Maybe someday, they're still on here so its not impossible we'll reconnect later down the road.
>>23698913
Former compuslive liar here, You need to get into therapy pronto and confess your lies to your friends, even if they leave you it's part of the process of healing.
I can't get hard to women anymore, only to traps.
Ive mastered the ability to not kill myself
Ive learned over the years that basically the only reason i dont kill myself is that i realize most problems can be solved by basically running away and changing everything or breaking down and going to a mental hospital which i view as a sort of reset button
obviously this hasnt solved anything for jack shit. its pretty much only kept me alive.
I still beg for death every day
>>23675418
I feel you, sempai
My boyfriend is beautiful and loving, yet i really get off thinking about hurting him both physicaly and mentally, using him in the worst ways, breaking him.
Recently i slicked to incestioud gay rape i drew myself and it sort of made me question my borders
>>23711689
why do you fap to them?
>>23707342
You're not a sick fuck but you need to accept the reality that there aren't a lot of women like that out there who would fit that role for you. Odds are you aren't going to meet one.
I think it would be healthier for you to focus on finding a good partner and enjoying a mutually nurturing and loving relationship. If you have extreme social anxiety its time to visit a doctor and discuss your treatment options and also think of ways that you can work to start building up friends and meet new people.
The world isn't "made" for anyone, there is every single kind of person under the sun out there that has "made it"
>>23673824
I wasn't attracted to my current boyfriend until we had sex for the second time and my racist ass white family does not like him as he is Korean but damn the dick is good
>>23705813
i haven't seen him in over a year, i saw his sister a few weeks ago and apparently he's in rehab and is doing well
My GF of more than ten years and i have been talking about her fucking another man with a bigger cock. But she only talks about it when she's drunk. Witch leads me to our planned vacation trip to Vegas. She has no idea i plan to get her super drunk and find a random guy or guys and see what happens.
I'm attracted to the facilities manager at work and I don't know how to tell him. I'm not even sure he's gay.
>>23679705
Literally what school is for me rn. I cannot stand talking to the people in my social group, and I'm fine with being alone, they just don't understand that I want to have them out of my life. If anyone has some advice on trying to get them to go away, that would be appreciated.
i'm an insecure guy who's good at feigning that he isn't insecure, but has issues with his self image from face look to penis size. can change the body, yeah, but you can't change penis size or how your face looks (unless you invest loads of cash.) Oh and height. fuck being a manlet.
but i'll trudge on and work with my shortcomings. hopefully i find someone who accepts me for my flaws. even if it me into my late thirties before stopping.
>>23707342
Join Fetlife. Explore your kink/fetish side. Even if it doesn't work out, it's so much better knowing that you tried rather than wondering what it would have been like if you didn't for the rest of your life.
>>23708514
You gotta talk with him about your sexual frustration. If you aren't getting needs met he should know.
>>23711874
>I feel you, sempai
It's SENPAI you fucking baka. I'm not even a weeb and I know this.
>>23713228
Does he know you're gay? If he does, there's ways to express your attraction to him without coming off like a cock hungry faggot.
>>23713526
99% of people who don't come off as insecure are actually insecure. Most people are. Why is late 30's your stopping point? I know people who found the love of their lives in their 40s +
I have a relative who suffers from mental/social/learning disorders. He's being bullied by his older sibling and her husband; they attack him on the basis of his disabilities then cry foul when he tries to defend himself. Most recently his sibling assaulted him in his own home, and he threw some water over her as a last ditched attempt to get her to stop; she ran off to her husband in tears and her husband threatened to bash him. He's tried to kill himself 2 or 3 times in response to her actions, and was eventually convinced by police to take out an intervention order against her. She's disputing it in court now and he's terrified of what stories she'll make up so he's thinking of dropping it.
The thing is, his sibling is holds a professorship in a particular area of research and has worked in the area for 20+ years. The area of research is also in the same line of disorders the victim has...
>>23712934
this is so pathetically sad that i cant even think of a response.
>>23713638
My father is in his early 40s and i've seen how the years has been bad for him. He's bald straight down the middle of his head, getting blind and I think he has some medical issues now with his heart and lungs. I'm making my late 30s the stopping point since I'm going to probably get cash to try and secure my retirement if it gets bad enough.
>>23712120
I fap to shemales too. I fap to them mostly because of my misogyny.
i was raped when i was 15, i now have a guilty rape fetish and it kills me a little all the time. My psychiatrist says "its natural to develop this, its your mind subconsciously trying to take back the control you lost"
last summer my husband injured himself and hasn't been able to work nearly as much as he used to, money's been tight and it's been really tough on the both of us. however, i've been making it worse by going down on our landlord at least once a month to get a little help with our rent.
I've always handled the finances so my husband hasn't noticed how we've been saving the money we have, and i know it would be horrible if he ever found out. worst part is, if im being totally honest, i actually really enjoy meeting up with my landlord and doing what i do now. doesn't really help with the guilt, but it's like i want to continue to not be able to pay rent so that i have to keep meeting up with him.
Broke up with my boyfriend. Trying not to take him back. I'm so sad, and I feel so lonely... Love is cancer
>>23715073
You could try looking for a self-defense class that specializes in that. Might help.
>>23715607
the first i half i can understand and doesnt make you a bad person, but that second half does make you a bad person.
My family/friends/colleagues all think I'm super liberal because I have STEM post-graduate education, long hair, and care about the environment. I'm actually super conservative. On the rare occasion I get forced into talking politics I tell people I voted Green Party so they assume I don't know a lot about politics and wasted my vote, when I actually voted UKIP. Brexit is real and it better fucking happen.
I'm alone in my heart. Not a "I'll never have a girlfriend" way, but in a "having a girlfriend won't help" way. I don't have many friends. I used to until everything got insanely fucked up between everyone I knew now I only have maybe 3 good friends. I constantly have anxiety attacks based off of memories of people who used to say they cared for me.
I also care way too much for people, part of my insecurities of not being good enough for anyone. I will meet someone and within days I will care deeply for them and be willing to do anything for them. I would tell anyone anything because I cared, regardless of how wrong it could be.
It never mattered to anyone else because I would be used for something then no one needed me. Whether it be for money, transportation, a faint inkling of love or lust, or even an ear. Once someone stops caring for me, they leave. Even when I do or say nothing wrong.
Now I'm starting to fully embrace my loneliness. No one has been able to fill this void within me. I sit in a room of people I know and no one cares to speak with me. Even when I see them walking around campus (i attend college), no waves or smiles from the people I still deeply care for. I want to love, be loved, but there isn't anyone for me. I've turned away people just by being honest about myself. About who I am and what I feel. I don't know what to do.
>>23715635
I know this feel.
Don't worry, the dread gradually goes away, especially if you have other people in your life. Just make new friends, maybe look for a new romantic partner, that'll help the healing process.
I'm about to move over a hundred miles away from my girlfriend to do a job that I can't tell her the truth about. Anyone up?
>>23675418
I'm a good looking guy, enjoy being masculine and assertive in all my relationships, but I secretly have the biggest fetish ever of being cuckolded and sissified. It's like the only thing that gets me off anymore. I don't know why I have this fetish, the conflict in my head is that I take pride in my masculinity and the respect I get from girls for being confident etc, but I've this goddamned fetish to just submit and give it all up for one girl, and let her dominate me, and turn me into her sissy.
Vanilla sex with my current girlfriend is boring the shit out of me. I'd love to roleplay more with my girlfriend but I'm terrified of it marring her opinion of me as a man outside the bedroom.
what do??
>>23677935
Mate, just go and fuck escorts. buid your confidence up. You're putting pussy on too high a pedestal. women can smell your reverence for pussy, and it's holding you back.
>>23717712
the advice needed for most virgin over 30
i secretly am into cuckold
>>23717712
Yeah, that's the spirit.
Tell this poor virgin to lose his virginity to some hooker that doesn't give a shit but for the money she gets paid. I say this guy goes and hits the town, finds a bar and some drunk, but happy and submissive slut. Fuck her, tell her what to do for you and stuff, this is advice from a woman, so maybe you should try it out.
3 years ago I had really passionate makeup sex with an exgirlfriend that I truly loved.
A few weeks later she told me she was pregnant. I am neither prochoice or prolife, but I told her I would man up to the responsibility of being a good father. She wanted to abort it and left me not too long after I paid for it.
It was her choice that I supported. I wasnt prepared to be a father or a husband, but in retrospect - I could have been. I grew up without a stable father figure, and I could have really devoted myself to my child. I conceived that life out of love and its only recently began to really bother me.
I'm terminally ill and will die soon, I'm not very religious - but if there is a heaven I only wish to apologize to my unborn child for not being stronger at voicing how I felt to their mother. She probably thought I was a loser incapable of being a good father anyway. I guess its for the better, shes wanted her freedom more than our future, and I would have ended up dying on them either way.
I just wish I could have given that kid the love annd guidance that I never received.
I could have driven into a tree at 110 MPH today but I didn't. I drove about 100 miles today, in four counties, going nowhere in particular, trying to take my mind off the crippling depression.
I think about the news stories about people that die while enrolled in a school, and how they have grief counselors available. I think about how if I killed myself no one would notice, and it's comforting.
everybody things my wife and me are the perfect couple, more then 10years people asking advice how to do there relation ship etc etc... i am always joking about we have sex 10 times a week...
actually we are sleeping in separate room last time we had sex was at valentines day
>>23684953
don't cross that road anon, I did it 5 years ago. Once you do it the trip across gets easier and easier each time....
I am in love with the 14 year old girl that lives across the street from me. I am good friends with her family, she considers me the older brother she never had.
Currently dating a guy who is all about sex. We're not an official couple yet, and part of me thinks he wants that despite what we initially agreed on. I'm not at a point in my life where I should looking for love, but just a companion and gym buddy and maybe someone to play vidya with.
Maybe all I needed was a friend, but when the time comes to part ways with this fella I don't know how I'm going to do it without him trying to come with me.
>>23719271
>companion and gym buddy and maybe someone to play vidya with.
Seriously, why the fuck can't I find a girl like this? Motherfucking bullshit this shit isn't fair.
>>23683878
Thomas reporting in
My secret is that I lie a ton. Everyone lies I know but I've made up so much that I can't keep track of every lie I've told. Luckily In the last few years I've stopped lying about the things that matter but I'm still sometimes dragged down by some of the things I've said and made people believe in the past.
I have no real friends and I've spent the last 7 years wasting my life online and here's the second secret, I've been pretending that I'm tough and cold and a hundred other things associated with these traits when the opposite is true. I care too much and I'm much much too sensitive and that's why I'm here. I've never been with anyone romantically even at my age (which I'm too ashamed to admit since it would reveal how much youth I've wasted) and It's been waaay too long since I've had a friend who wasn't completely disingenuous or fickle in some way. But its not all their fault. Even if someone was an amazing friend I pushed them away out of fear of them getting too close.
The loneliness is killing me and its my fault. I kept lying and wearing a personality that isn't me.
>>23686181
Lol
I fell in love with a shitty namefag from another board. He doesn't give a shit about me or anyone else for that matter, and I knew this going in, but I still wound up caring about him. I've talked more about my life, especially the raw shitty parts, to him then anyone else in more than 10+ years, even though he doesn't care and does things that hurt me. I'm pathetic, and putting up with shit that I shouldn't and normally wouldn't, but I can't stop myself.
I've been with a girl for about 2 years now, sorta. We're a little on/off, currently off, but neither of us have been with anyone else. As I've lost more weight and went to the gym more and got a hell of a lot better looking than I used to be, she's gained a lot of weight, and she was heavy to start with. Plus she has a weird haircut at the minute and when I look at her from a bad angle she looks like a 40 year old balding man. Back when I was fat as shit as well it wasn't a problem, but now I'm not attracted to her physically anymore. I'm so emotionally in love with her, and she's such a lovely girl, I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't really want to be with anyone else. But I can see the lack of physical attraction becoming a problem in the future. She's so cute, and smart, and kind, a total joy to be around, and I just love everything about her apart from her appearance.
My housemate's sister is really interested in me, and we've flirted a little in the off phases of my relationship. She's absolutely beautiful. I've never seen anyone more attractive. But she's kind of a bitch, always really mean to people, she's dumb as a post, and has autism so she's a little hard to interact with.
I could never imagine being in a relationship with her, but in my weaker moments I wonder what it would be like to be intimate with a woman I'm actually physically attracted to.
The whole thing makes me feel like a horrible person. I feel so shallow.
>>23719692
>10
Give your kik
>>23719086
If you're no where near her age, stay the fuck away you creepy retard.
>>23686181
OMG.......
I'M DECEASED
In high school I was so afraid of people seeing me without any friends that I hid in the bathrooms at lunch. Now I have debilitating depression and social anxiety.
I don't know what my love life is anymore. I've never had a relationship for more than a couple months and it's always ended with either me or the other person "Just not feeling it." I'm starting to think I'm just not compatible with anyone at this point because of how many times this has happened.
The last girl I dated for about a month (3 weeks then she ended things for a week, but stuck around for another 3 weeks cause she "didn't want any regrets") I knew it was probably gonna end because conversation-wise the relationship was terrible. But she made me feel good and I liked the conversations that weren't dry. I thought it was gonna go somewhere this time but it didn't now I'm just sort of spiraling. (She was really pretty and just getting over her scene phase which I really digged)
I'm white, 18, all my friends and acquaintances have told me I'm attractive but I can't tell, and going into a University so I know I have my whole life ahead of me but fuck man I'm tired of being alone. I need to know if it's me in these that's bringing all these relationships down or if I'm just meeting the wrong girls.
Also any advice would be appreciated.
Oh my god! I was just watching this random show on netflix, this guy opens a door.. And there's my old dance teacher having sex with this chick in a closet. I mean holy shit!
I live in a trailer, smoke meth and I'm mentally unwell
my family owns rentals so me living in a trailer shouldn't be a thing
last night I was doing meth with my friend and a nasty tweaker lady. I tried to grope on the tweaker lady when my friend wasn't looking and she actually rejected me. that made me feel a little disgusting, and it's indicative of where I am right now
I start a shitty job tomorrow where I have to walk a total of ~50 mins + train, because I'm 24 without a car or liscense
I am gay.
I thought I loved this guy who I wanted to marry but it turns out that he loved someone else the entire time.
Just broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. He turned prude on me the past two months of our relationship because of his religious upbringing. I'm chatting with a qt trap now and planning to meet up but all my friends say rebound sex is a bad idea. Don't know what do really.
About three years ago i was a semi-social person, had a large group of friends and an amazing girlfriend, and would go out to parties and bars all the time with people and chill. I was going to college and everything seemed right.
Over the last three years, my group of friends splintered due to drama, school, drugs, etc., me and her broke up, and I dropped out. I started drinking a lot (until recently) and have just gradually felt more and more hopeless. I'll get random flashes of inspiration and happiness, and even tried to start talking to a girl a couple of weeks ago, things seemed to be going good then out of nowhere she told me she didn't want a relationship because of school. It took a lot for me to even approach her, and since then I've been even more depressed. Not because I had like instant feelings for her or anything, but just because the happiness and hope I had for those couple weeks was something I hadn't felt in forever.
I can't really afford to get any help from a therapist or anything, and have honestly been having suicidal thoughts for a few months now. I think going back to school would help but honestly I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore, and I don't know if I could take being alone and working a dead end job any longer.
I know a lot of other people are dealing with more fucked up shit, and I feel guilty for being depressed about this stuff. Sorry for rambling, just need people to vent to and the few friends I have left don't seem to care.
I only want to lose weight so other people find me sexy again. I get off on the thought that they are fapping to me.
>>23722128
You just summed up my feelings. Guilt and friends and all. I was going to give up entirely until I met her. That short time frame was such a high point in my life. For once I didn't feel alone. Now everything's slipping away from me. The suicidal thoughts are easy to deal with though.
>>23722128
The worst is seeing other people in their relationships and wondering how the fuck they make it work.
>>23722536
>>23722560
I'd say it's good to have someone who can relate but I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Sorry things are fucked for you too and I hope they get better.
I'm happy for my friends, the three guys I talk to the most are all engaged and are in school or got lucky and got decent jobs. I'd be lying if i said I wasn't kind of jealous but I am happy for them, I just kinda feel like things are passing me by.
>>23722598
Same to you. The only thing to do is move forward I guess. That's been my plan and I'm sort of sticking with it. Go back to school if you think you can do it. Might help get your life on track. Weed also helps a lot if you can afford it
>>23722675
Yeah I'm gonna work this whole year and save up money to go back to school in the fall next year. Hopefully between now and then I can get my head straight and figure out what I wanna go for. And I used to smoke but last time I did I had a panic attack and I haven't been able to do it since, might try it again though.
>>23722219
Let's see you.
I've been in love with kylie for years, and since I know she wouldn't ever take me I ended up settling into a marriage that I'm unhappy in
I'd seriously give anything just for one day where I was what fueled that woman's fire.
I've been Lionel for about as Lon as i can remember.
I have no strong opinions on drugs, but I feel like my friends are slowly turning into pot heads who don't realize/care about how much of their money is being spent on weed each week when they're already broke most of the time. I don't want to be a square, but I feel like they're seriously getting to the point where their lives revolve around being high.
I desperately wish that I could find symptoms of some condition so that I could have some kind of explanation as to why I feel like such a piece of shit. My greatest fear is that I find out that theres nothing really wrong with me, and that this is just who I am.
>>23723444
>Lionel
Fuck this phone, *lonely.
They say money can't buy happiness but it's not stopping me from trying.
I've been getting off on the idea of pampering a girl who isn't the one I've been with for 12 years. Not in a submissive "paypiggy" kind of way, but to spoil someone who would be grateful for it.
I think it's because I'm no longer attractive and my girlfriend is my only source of affection. Gone are the days of idle flirtation to give me a confidence boost, so I've been looking elsewhere and using other superficial means to get peoples attention.
I'm a shallow, deceptive asshole. Not looking for advice, I just wanted to vent and confess the kind of person I've become to the internet.
I cheat on my wife of 5 years with men. I like to bottom for men with really big cocks. My wife has no idea that I am even attracted to men.
She moved out to the city with me when I got the best job offer of my career. I figured I could help make up for the higher cost of living and we would both kick ass. But then promotions never came, her car needed repairs, and I realized that I never had enough in savings to really enjoy the vacation time I was accruing. I wish I had gone through with breaking up with her the first time, instead of saying "Yeah, sure, let's give this another shot." It would have saved us both a lot of hurt.
I play video games, a lot. its essentially my only hobby of note besides reading. 90% of the people i regularly associate with do as well. As does my GF, but we have different taste in games and basically the only things we could play together have been terraria and monster hunter. we've been together for 3 years as of essentially today. she has a college diploma that is essentially useless imo, I just need some more hours for a journeyman in my trade. she's been taking uni online and wasting her time, since she was essentially pushed into it by her mother and she isnt putting in the effort to pass because its clear she doesnt care. she works a go nowhere job. i love her, but i cant possibly explain why. She allows emotions to cloud any form of logical decision making. In some ways i fear i take the opposite to a fault. I don't know if im here because i love her or if im here because its familiar at this point. I try very hard to temper criticisms since she's already on antidepressants, but she always goes "everything goes wrong for me" mode and i fucking hate it, because i truly believe the ability to fix her problems is well within her grasp if she'd actually try to do so. I am supportive as much as possible but adamant about never becoming just another crutch, and i don't want to be in a situation where i feel like i have to be the driving force for her decisions. Of late i have frequently wondered if there isnt something (someone) better out there that i should be going for, relationship wise, but i'm kind of loathe to break it off, in large part because i feel i can never be certain how much is just "grass is greener elsewhere". I feel i have totally over-analyzed our relationship in my very personal need to separate emotion from logic. Also she's gained a not insignificant amount of weight since we started dating. This bothers me, and i feel may be affecting our sex life. she is painfully unadventurous in that regard as well. TO BE CONT.
>>23723730
CONTD.
I feel like this has contributed to me masturbating much more than i used to, which in turn makes our sex life less appealing since i often feel 'sated' even though the opportunity arises and im not sure how much any of that is affecting my ability to stay hard for extended periods. i am not 30. I am tall, and not in shape. 6'4. 330-350 range. Because of my frame and the way the weight is distributed, i still look okay (think bear, not whale) in that regard, but i would like to improve as soon as i stop being fuckin lazy. i used to wear glasses but i havent in years. i probably should get new ones at some point. i'd like to think im fairly handsome aside from the aforementioned body issues, and i think glasses and a five o clock shadow make me look pretty sexy. If i ever got back onto the dating scene, i would almost need a GF that plays video games (simply because it has become a significant time investment for me), preferably with a solid level of proficiency. I dont believe that video games have an age limit, and suspect i won't "grow out" of them any time soon, in large part because of how key a role they have played in the formation and maintenance of my social circles. I'm intelligent if not gifted when i comes to "school things", and my trades job is enjoyable (i very much like working with my hands) but seldom mentally engaging in the sort of manner i enjoy. I used to take engineering at uni, but set it aside in large part to due lack of motivation back when i was 19, whereas now i have... well, enough to get by i suppose. I used to think about writing. namely fantasy. it was actually asked of my in high school by a teacher whether i had any interest in pursuing such a thing. I definitely feel like writing may be a talent that i just never nurtured, although i did write the start of something, and every few months i get in the mood to sort of alter or worldbuild for a sweeping series i will almost certainly never write. TO BE CONT >
I love women and fucking the shit of them, but lately I've been wanting to be fucked by guy. I've watched so many sissy and shemale videos. At first, I would imagine myself fucking them, but slowly began to fantasize what it would be like to put on women's underwear. I eventually got really curious about how it would feel like for a guy to cum all over my face and my ass. I just really want to have a sissygasm and see what it's like, but it's so hard staying anonymous while pursuing this fantasy of mine.
>>23723823
In many ways, i am content with my life, and feel no need to do anything drastic in regards to it. she and i rent a place in a somewhat shitty area, though i am relatively content aside from the fact her family owns the place we live in (they have a number of 'rental properties'). My girlfriend has complained to me several times when i try and make sure shit gets done, like homework. "You aren't my mother" is the usual line, and my ever unvoiced retort is that if she would stop being such a fucking child sometimes maybe it wouldnt feel that way. i often try to analyze how much of my thoughts are legitimate issues and how many are simply cases of 'familiarity breeds contempt' I feel like she is not the driving force in any aspect of the relationship, which is okay, but i definitely need a kick in the ass now and then and i really think that somebody who was more of a 'partner' than a ridealong would benefit me greatly. In many ways i have realized i might be happier single than settling for somebody who doesnt check enough of my boxes, so to speak, despite being a massive enthusiast for physical affection in general (not specifically sex) and definitely would miss the fuck out of it were i alone. I believe the first thing one must accept to be ready to date again is the idea that being single is okay and perfectly viable. I believe one must not predicate your senses of well being and self worth upon the status of one's relationship. I'm kind of an asshole, but it's 99% of the time more accidental than intentional. i was antisocial when young and most likely resultant of that, i sometimes miss social ques others might pick up on. also she'll be home momentarily, so i guess im done venting for the moment. I'll lurk for a bit, comment if you like, i don't specifically "Need" advice but hey, this a sounding board thread, might as well sound off. thanks 4chan
I need to get this off my chest, /soc/
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions
I'm only really attracted to women once I know and like them, and I'm really afraid that this will lead to me being alone for the rest of my life. I can't genuinely approach women as somebody who's truly interested, and by the time I like them I've already been filed away in the "not interested" folder.
It's not like I don't have a sex drive, I can enjoy porn and fap and stuff, but I'm always imagining that the girl I'm looking at is my girlfriend, and I just don't find real sex pleasurable if I'm not emotionally involved in it.
None of my friends understand and when I've admitted stuff like this to people they think I'm asexual or something. A few of them keep telling me that it'll solve my problems if I just get a hooker, and they don't at all understand why it won't.
I'm worried that maybe there's something wrong with me, like maybe I'm looking for parental affection from women or it's some weird possessiveness thing or some other shit, but I can't really convince myself of any of that. I just want that whole thing where my heart and my dick are in agreement, just like they were before things went to hell with my ex.
I'm a girl with a low sex drive but I want a fuck buddy.
Maybe it's because I now know that I can't sustain the quantity of sex a real relationship requires?
I've never really wanted relationships. All of my relationships have been so calculated.
I dated this one guy because I threw my life into improving his psyche and I thought it'd be good for him to have someone who loved him.
Who fucking does that? What's wrong with me?
I feel so alone. Chatting up guys just makes me feel more alone. They're so quick to love me, but I just can't reciprocate. I can't believe the nice things they say. They can't possibly really mean me. They hardly know me.
I'm worthless and lazy and a liar.
I know the things to say to make people happy.
Why don't I know what to say to make me happy?
>>23724380
100% same here bro
I'm a male in my early 20s and I write shipping fanfiction. I think I'm pretty good at it.
I crave acceptance/approval from authority figures and would do anything for it. Doing well in college and having a professor acknowledge that I did well is the best feeling in the world. I can't even put it into words. It's like a drug.
I go to the movies every Friday/Saturday to convince my mother that I have friends because I'm a friendless loser.
When I was younger my dad used to cut my finger and toe nails, pop pimples on my face and back, trim my pubes, smell my armpits when I got out of the shower, and he would check the foreskin of my penis to make sure I cleaned it properly. I think I've developed an usually powerful fear of being castrated in a literal sense.
I had a dream the other night about this girl I have a crush on. We were about to have sex but I got so nervous I ran away because I didn't want her to find out that my penis was less than 4 inches erect. We were at some hotel and she kept searching for me and I could hear her asking what was wrong.
>>23718650
It's gonna be ok, you can just start again
I'm married, but I'm in love with someone else. He's married, too.
>>23679453
Brush that's not huge but far from comically small. Keep working out and learn to eat pussy and things will be great.
My dream was always to be a father someday...but now I don't want that nor a partner. I'll just be alone and push everyone away and die alone someday.
>>23725170
Then leave it alone.
So I've been low-key stringing along two guys for like 6 months now might make me sound a lil sketchy but I've actually been quite honest tbf. One of them just wants to fuck, and that's alright, we'll get around to it eventually! The other one I only really still talk to because he gives me free drugs and takes me to cool places and it's really fun! (alright, sounds a lot sketchy but no one else I know does that kindof thing). He keeps wanting to meet up alone and like watch movies and shit but I don't wanna do that i just want to go the clubs. He's weird as fuck, wears eyeliner, trump-like political views and keeps talking about us getting married and committing to a long term relationship but I'm not rly down with that. I already tried playing the lesbian card, I hooked up with a girl infront of him ffs but it didn't really help the situation desu. I mean he's not a bad person, really nice to me but ugh! I don't know what I'm gonna do.
>>23725721
Oops I didn't mean to write 'desu', don't know where that came from, it's terrible!
>>23724440
You should try to let go of the things that is holding you down, and seek to do the things you truly want and not just what you immediately see as a fix to your current situation.
Short term happiness will always lead to long term sadness, and if you really want to make yourself happy you should try to look at your faults and accept them as a whole. Do this and you could probably find a way to give yourself the happiness you want.
>>23725170
Love is complicated that way, you do get more resistant to the one you love. The only way to know that you found the right one is to test your relationship in difficult ways; some do it by distance or not meeting up for several months or years.
Basically you should see inwards if your little fluttery experience is like a 'teenagers love cycle' and falling in love with everyone you meet is the way to go; or if something is missing in your life. There was a quote from someone, but if you love another person more than the first one then stick with the second one; since there is a reason you gave up the first one.
>>23725721
It's simple, stop being so fucking vain and stop hanging around a beta orbiter and get a grip on your situation.
>>23725759
I'm not trying to be vain, trying to be honest, I know I'm a twat and yh I fucking do need to get a grip but thanks for the reply m8
>>23687940
As a guy that use to be like that and has been improving literally, just talk to him and help him. If you help him do shit , get him meeting other's or getting hobbies , letting his free time be taken up with interacting with other's especially another female/male to fuck around with he will get off your back. If he's the type that keeps wallowing in self pity and turning down this help you offer him remaining clingy sever ties move or make him move. Either way you'll fix this situation one what or the other. Sitting down and being straight up with him is the only way to fix it desu. Either he sees what a shit head he is and improves especially with your help or he'll be hurt and cry about it which you need to get away from.
>meet girl a couple weeks ago
>go on date
>everythingwentbetterthabexpected.jpg
>practically live at her house
>lots of sexy times
>can always get her to cum
>can never cum myself
>jokingly say "at least we got you" after sex
>clearly upsets her
>breaks up with me this morning
i want her back so fucking bad. my body literally aches for her, but i don't how to win her back, if i can
i wish i'd not gotten involved with my best friend, it only led to romantic feelings and now im not even the same person who i was before, i've lost all my friends, they left me and i feel nothing but crippling loneliness. i just wish we'd stayed friends
>>23690427
Actually no, it's fight or flight you moron. Freezing is in the flight category.
I don't want to state my background, but I've been in many situations where someones life resided in my hands. Even made the news a few times due to my actions. I've been tested on many many occasions. Some people run away from danger, some people run towards it. I'm the latter. Knowing which category you fall in is probably a good thing, at least you know what your limitations are.
>>23725170
you can keep each in check
I'm emotionally frustrated to the max. I am not even interested in sexual encounters any more. I cannot find anybody that I connect with a deeper level. I really want to find somebody that I connect romantically with.
I am just getting worse.
>>23726265
how did you fuck it up
I'm currently 20 years old and I never noticed it while I was in high school, but I can't manage to make a connection with a girl unless I make face-to-face contact on a semi daily basis for at least a month. It was easy for me to get laid, I never had trouble finding a girl to be with because most girls just generally liked me already and I could easily talk them up. Same while I had part-time jobs. Now, I'm out of my home state and I'm in an environment where my personal connections are limited because of work. I try to meet girls outside of work, it's always flirt a bit back and forth, get a number, try texting, she loses interest. Tried Tinder and OkCupid, got laid a few times and met a few girlfriends. One was 29 (I was 19 at the time) she couldn't deal with my work schedule and my exhaustion after work and tried getting manipulative. Ended up with her trying to have sex with me in my sleep and her trying to get pregnant so I kicked her out. Found out later she was fucking my friend's ex-husband on the side while my friend was trying to date her ex again as well. I also hang out with this friend, but she's one of my superiors at work and I can tell she's interested in me, even though she's much older than me. She still tries to make plans to do stuff together and when she gets drunk around me she gets really handsy. I managed to meet another girl and she was my age, but a fundamental Christian and she'd try and argue with me about being atheist. I would put up with it so I could just have someone to have sex with, but she didn't like oral at all, receiving or giving, and she was just a general asshole so I broke it off. Now the friend is getting more and more up front and we're planning out where we're going to be transferred. She's going to be 2 states away, and I've caught her checking Google Maps for distance between us. She also keeps asking me to take her to New Orleans when I turn 21.
I get the urge to commit random acts of extreme violence sometimes. I fight (MMA) and that helps scratch the itch. That being said, I need to get to the military ASAP.
>>23675042
fucking slut
>>23728422
On the flip side though, girls from home still text me and message me on Facebook. I go home and every other night I get invited to some party or a girl I know wants to make me dinner or hang out, but it's just temporary and I have to go back. I'm hoping when I get to a more permanent spot I'll be able to fuck whoever I want and start making a new network of friends outside of my hometown.
>>23673824
I'm 28 years old and I occasionally still catch myself picking my nose and eating what I find. I do it subconciously. I know it's gross, and I stop myself when I realize what I'm doing, but I can't break the habit. I did it when I was a child with no embarassment, but stopped when I was a teenager. Now I've started up again. I hate it.
>>23728432
military won't help that
>>23727222
so asexual
>>23722084
Everybody knows.
>>23717467
bump.
I've never been able to what people described as love. I always thought I did, but I'm more possessive.
I've always been manipulative and never felt it was bad until I read about it after hearing a lot about it and found out it was bad. I still do it though.
I've always been curious, even morbidly curious. I killed my friend's sisters cat when I was 13. I was curious, so when they weren't home, I called it to me and strangled it. The more it fought, the more angry I became and the harder I squeezed. When she found it, and was crying, I went outside and would just look at their faces in curiousity.
When my grandfather died, I felt kinda sad, but I got over it way faster than everyone else. All the rest of the time, I just acted sad because that's what I thought the normal thing was.
Since I'm emotionally retarded or whatever, and people said I wouldn't laugh or cry, I recorded myself a lot and tried laughing and crying, and picked which ones looked more genuine. I've done this many, many times.
I'm very helpful I would say, but the first thing I always think is what they can return in a favor to me. I've never felt I needed to help because I thought of them. I know it's right, so I'll do it because of that sometimes, but never because i feel something.
When I was 8-15, I had a friend down the street who had an extremely hot mom. I always saw men looking at her. I knew where she kept her back up key in the backyard, so everything she would go to trips and my friend was at his cousins, I would go find the key and go into her room and just jack off to all her panties, bras, sandals, heels. I would smell the sweet aroma of her bed and room, that intoxicating smell of her panties and sandals(that feminine one where you know she lotions her feet a lot are keepers them so taken care of). They never found out.
When I was 10, my mom would sometimes take care of this woman's girl, who was also my age. We talked about sex once, and started to touch each other.
I use prostitutes. I feel dirty after
>>23728530
Yeah, but it's the most constructive outlet for this urge available to me.
I was fucking curious about dog fucking so I tried it. My dog was fine with it but I can't help feeling like a disgusting piece of shit for manipulating her like that.
I faked being doxxed. I came up with a fake location and everything and people and friends believed me. Now I realize what shit I've gotten into and I don't know whether or not to tell them or keep it a secret.
i'm trying to decide if using /soc/ as a social outlet is a good idea
>i have a feeling i'm not the only one torn in this
Im a whore who fucks everything regardless of the morality of it. I've fucked most of my friends girlfriends. I've fucked 2 of my friends wives, I've fucked 2 of my cousins and i've felt my mother up while shes sleeping.
I'm almost 30 and I had sex for the first time only three years ago, and have not managed to succeed since them. I didn't finish during the encounter because I was too nervous and inside my head, although she seemed satisfied other than a bit of frustration about me not getting off and we parted on fond terms.
In the subsequent three years I've become more comfortable in my own skin, grown at least somewhat out of my social shell, and developed confidence in talking and flirting with the opposite sex. I've progressed to landing sessions of heavy petting and making out at social functions, although I can't seem to nail the endgame.
Despite this, I have a growing dread that I waited too long to bloom. Most of my friends are settling down, getting married or at least getting into committed relationships. I'm saddled with student debt and my career is about as delayed in its development as my sex life, so money to go out hunting is hard to come by. My sex drive feels like its in overdrive sometimes because I'm not satisfied with just multiple rounds by myself anymore now that I feel like I have a chance at bat and I'm just striking out.
I'm sincerely afraid that my youth is almost spent and with my skills unfinished, my money short and my friends less and less available to help my comfort and confidence in social settings, I won't catch up in time to enjoy everything I missed out on by being an unconfident introvert for so many years.
My ex-gf broke up with me 2 days before Christmas Eve 2015. We were together for 5 years of our lives, living together and such. It was a really happy time and we were both enjoying ourselves or at least I thought so. She confronted me on that day and said she never loved me to begin with. I had a mental breakdown for 2 months and I couldn't write any new music material. I have no friends, spare one, but I can't trust anyone anymore. My trust was thin to begin with because of other people, but I had always trusted her. At the time she was my only friend.
Now I have an opportunity to go to Florida to work with my 'friend' on a record label as an audio producer. I personally think he's either going to flop, or just betray me somehow.
I'm so damaged now that I can't write any sentence of this story without breaking down.
I lost my virginity to a girl four years older than me and who is married with children. She wasn't happy in her marriage and would constantly tell me how he's cheating on her and how he doesn't even want to be around her and the kids anymore. Her husband at the time would only visit on the weekends because he found a job in another town. She was going to move with him once he settled down because he had just gotten the job. I ended up forming a really deep friendship with her and overtime started bonding with her kids too. I developed feelings for her. Things eventually took a romantic turn and we had sex twice, but she never seemed to enjoy herself during any of it. I asked her what she liked and all she said was deep penetration and pressure, but I'm less than average so I kind of figured that's why she never enjoyed having sex. After having sex, she started treating me as just a friend and I was starting to become depressed as I still loved her. Any talk about her husband now became about how good their relationship was now that he found a job somewhere else and they didn't have time to argue. She flipped on me. She moved out of town because her husband found a job in Riverside. We stayed friends for a while, facetiming, snapchatting, but pretending I didn't like her anymore was taking a toll on me. I told her I couldn't continue being friends and we don't speak anymore. I still love her and it's killing me that she never felt the same way, not even a fraction of it. I feel like killing myself, I don't want to go through this anymore.
>>23730319
She used you as a shoulder to cry on when her husband wasn't there emotionally. Now that she has his support again, she no longer needs you. It sucks but everyone learns this lesson eventually: many relationships are based on an exchange - what each person has to offer the other (emotionally, physically, monetarily, etc.). Unfortunately this mutual or non-mutual need sometimes gets mistaken as love.
What you had with her wasn't love - it just seemed that way at the time. Leave her to her marriage and forget about her. You'll find someone who actually cares about you, and not just about how you make them feel.
>>23729493
I have a sex drive but I can't emotionally connect to anybody. I don't know how long I can put up with feeling like this. Every girl I have been with are living sex dolls and nothing more.
>>23730611
I really do hope I find someone who does care about me. Hopefully I learn how to tell the difference because I honestly thought she did. Her husband still isn't there emotionally there for her though. She's disappointed that things haven't improved since they moved, but she still chose him over me. The fact that she stopped being interested in me more than a friend after sex has made me feel very insecure about future intimacy. I think her lie about things improving before she left was an easy way to end what we had. Either way, I'm done having any communication with her. I'm more concerned about being hurt like this in the future. I feel like sex is a huge component of a healthy relationship and this experience has me feeling hopeless. Do you think the reason she stopped was because I wasn't sexually satisfying her or did she really feel guilt over cheating on her husband?
I was fucked by someone unprotected for the first time. The kicker, is that it wasn't with you. It wasnt with someone that I trusted or knew well... It was with nearly a complete stranger.
It wasn't with you Chris, and that makes me really glad.
>>23679795
Good luck. Sorry to hear
>>23684404
They secretly hate you. I've had it happen. Be prepared to lose them all
I (24) might have fallen in love with an underage girl (16), let's call her A. I want her to be mine and mine alone, but I don't want her to force into anything, especially a relationship she might regret soon-ish. Nothing sexual is happening thanks to AoC laws and I don't intend on meeting Bubba either.
I would love to let her be herself and be a stupid teen until the law won't fucking shaft me, but my greed is just something I cannot stop. I am too jealous. I hate myself over it since I feel similar to my beautiful ex-girlfriend (only without the romantic attraction), and another girl I know who is taken. I want them all for me, I want them to myself and I would go to great lengths to have either one of them for me.
I'm going insane from the conflicting feelings and I hate myself over it, but I cannot let go of A, no matter what I do.
I can't take this. But if I don't do *something* I'll be plagued by even more regret than I already am by now.
Why...
>>23730898
whore
low key infatuated with my gf's best friend, and I think she feels the same. Problem is when we were hooking up before my gf got upset and that made her want to stop, also she's basic so she's not into being in a forked relationship... yet. but she seems to be warming up to the idea and I think my attempts to push her toward it are succeeding.
>>23731605
Move to Canada.
>>23684953
If I can reflect the way I have read this; I see someone experiencing pain because they're 'close to 25' yet have had 'only' three partners. If it helps, consider that you are Only 25 and you probably have 50 more years of sex to look forward to.
If you view it like this, I feel like your problem will have three possible (basic) conclusions:
1) At some point in the next fifty years you and your partner grow in different directions, you go separate ways, and the chance for new partners occurs.
2) You discuss your feelings & needs with your partner (as you should, you can never have enough communication, understanding & respect) but ultimately decide to stay monogamous. You and your partner stay in love and build a 55 year long relationship together! Absolutely amazing.
3) You discuss your feelings & needs with your partner. You both agree that your relationship is stable, that you communicate openly, and that 'expanding your circle' would benefit the relationship. If not now, then at some point during your 55 year long, amazing til-death-do-us-part relationship.
At least, this is how I see it from the outside.
>>23687295
Don't worry. Happens to 99% of people who aren't rained for it.
>>23698798
Talk!!!!!
Talking this kind of thing out with my girl
>>23732292
i dont get it
I am a married 43 year old guy with a panty fetish. I have a post office box where I send panties that I buy online. I hinted at it once with my wife and even put on a pair of hers in front of her "as a goof", she was not into it at all. As such, I have resorted to modeling my panties for cam whores and have resorted to prostitutes and random dudes from craigslist. I hired a prostitute to come to my hotel and just watch as I tried on all kinds of different panties. I have hooked up with guys, where I showed up in panties and we sucked each other off. I really wish my wife was into it, but it is not meant to be.
>uses tinder for a number of months >no likes yet
>finally gets a like
> "Call 1800thenumberdoesnotmatter for a good time cutie ;)"
>lifeissuffering.jpg
>>23684962
How did you get the nude pics?
Every now and then, like about once a month, I start getting >tfw no gf
It comes suddenly, and usually passes, since I can usually wrap myself up in my own life if I need to, and I have friends to talk to to not be lonely, but it's still uncomfortable
That temporary lonely feeling is one of the only reasons I'm desperate enough to post on /soc/. I just need someone late at night to fall asleep with...
We talked for over 5 years. She was perfect in every way but deep down I knew I could never have her. Out of the blue, I decided to stop contact. Been drinking and dumping other drugs into my body since I stopped contact but on a personal level I feel happy. But mentally I feel alone now. Not sure if I'm making sense so sorry, drinking again
Well my secret is that I have no secrets.
I keep this fact secret because I like people to assume I do have secrets. makes me more mysterious. Helps with the ladies.
(Well, this fact itself is a secret but confessing it makes it not so so my statement is true either way. See how I control logical possibility? That's a renaissance man for you, baby, I could control your body just as well, no secrets there either)
I have dissociative identity disorder. the people who are out the most all try to act like one person but the reality of it is I'm NOT one person. I don't even know who "I" am anymore because every waking moment is pretending to be the person everyone thinks I am.
every time I tell someone about it and hope they might try to get to know us as the multiple people we are, they leave. last time I had someone go behind my back and tell my entire friend group I was 'weird and crazy', so I don't tell new people anymore.
most of the time we would all prefer to pretend we're one person, just so people will consider hanging out with us. our psychologist has told a couple of us we need to tell someone but we can't do it, we can't lose everyone in our lives again
I'm gay but I love fucking women.
What do?
>>23734261
Do you mean you are romantically and sexually interested in men and only romantically interested in women without the sexual desire?
OR do you just appreciate women?
I've been struggling trying to figure out my romantic/sexual preference with each gender and it's one of those things you'll never quite figure out even when you're happy with someone.
If you simply appreciate women, make lots of lady friends. We're pretty awesome.
>>23733685
Some sense is being made here. Sometimes it's better to be happy with yourself and your life than to be happy for others. If you feel you're ready to start contacting her again or maybe other people you should go for it. Just remember that no one is making you do it if you don't want to.
>>23733657
I feel like everyone gets that feeling from time to time. Society makes the concept of having a partner seem so appealing when in reality some people just don't want a partner. Believe me, it's better to have your life together and have a partner than to have a partner when you're still trying to figure things out for yourself. I'd recommend dating instead of searching. You might find someone who is interested in being a FWB or something which might be fun.
>>23734302
You may be awesome and I've been sexually turned on by both genders but I guess I've had bad experiences with women and they slowly turning me on less and less.
I could never fuck a man either. It's disgusting .
I do appreciate women for being pretty.
>>23681473
I have a weird boner now.
I can't stop getting off to my friends younger sisters one more then the other of course and they consider me as family too but it all started when I was drunker then a skunk and they were sun tanning naked.
No one home, I ask them where everyone was they were asleep really hard and I couldn't stop getting turned on by their perfectly smooth hairless bodies shining with sun tan lotion.
I took the biggest chance and risk pulled it out and went at it right in front of them came herder then I have ever in my life was able to cum on both easily.
Neither one woke up, I left it on them.
Never noticed now any time they tan I watch and get off most of the time when they nap during it but I can't get off to anyone or anything else but them.
>>23734325
Have you ever heard of Demi-sexual?
It's when you're not sexually interested in anyone until there is a deep emotional connection basically.
I think I'm describing it poorly but you should take a peek at it. It kinda sounds similar to what you're describing.
I have a crush on you already and I think you probably know...
>>23734349
Demisexual does sound like me. My recent ex said I need to form an emotional bond first and a lot of my friends do think I force into things which is why my relationships suck.
I'm also a massive pervert who would probably rape you and think of black cock. I'm screwed up and I love myself over anyone else.
>>23734342
No Advice or words?
>>23675699
Anon, do you has Skype?
>Her: its a little weird can i tell you something weird
>Me: Sure
>Her: ok...
>Her: when he did that [raped me] i didn't like it
>Her: it was hurting me and he was mean and i cried and stuff and i did NOT like it
>Her: but since he did that sometimes i think about it when i touch myself and idk why i think its so bad but i can't help it
So I chat with rape survivors sometimes and it's always the same story with them. And I mean it was really helpful for her to be able to get that off her chest and to hear from that that other girls have said similar and that she's not a freak and that it doesn't make her a bad person. I told her that she's weird but that's because human sexuality is weird and we're all weird and that's ok.
It felt really good to hear from her that she feels better after talking with me, but having people confess this type of thing affects me too. The abyss staring back I guess.
>>23734424
You need to man up and be honest with one of them. Tell them you're really attracted to them and you want to get to know them better.
If they turn you down then that might help you in one way. If they don't that can help you another way. Either way i think you should be honest about your feelings.
>>23734751
This could backfire in some way, but not much else to it
I want to have sex with my boyfriend
>>23730764
I think she stopped because she realized that fucking you wasn't going to fill the void of emotional support and intimacy that her husband was leaving her with. It had nothing to do with how it felt physically - women often tie sex and emotions together. She was looking for someone to make her feel emotion like her husband used to, and she thought that fucking her friend was going to make her feel that. Ultimately, it didn't, so she stopped.
Don't worry about performing in bed. If the girl likes you, and you communicate with her (ask her what she likes, etc.) and make an honest effort to please her, the sex will be good. As long as you're not selfish and only concerned with getting a nut for yourself, you'll be fine.
And if you're worried about cumming early, you could practice by making your masturbation sessions last as long as possible before cumming. and kegels I guess. But honestly if you eat her pussy and find out what she likes and do it, you'll be fine. Good sex is about letting inhibitions go. There will be others to practice on, don't worry
>Staying in sutton in london uk
>3rd year student
>in my days off uni I just ride my unicycle as far as I can
>sometimes just use bus and trains but not across zones or further than like half hour
>Carry a knife with me because LONDON DANGEROUS - from the safe south by coast originally
>One day maybe a month into uni I see a cat hit by car
>bleeding, yelping etc poor bugger absolutely done for
>put it out of its misery
>Get a strange thrill from it, cut off its head
>start killing cats, often whacking them as hard as fuck with unicycle before decapitating them
>have tried frying off some of their insides but taste a bit rank - even trying to season with garlic salt
>try not to do this too close to where I live
>First local media started to report on me round about the 6th cat, since then has grown into a national story
> I've probably killed... idk, at least 40 by now? hard to keep track
>not been caught yet
>Know its bad but most are strays anyway
>look really hippyish, super white etc, lots of people smile at me on the street don't realize I'm the "massive villain"lol
