I work in a lab that analyzes urine.
Ask me anything.
>>8011771
What does your lab analyze?
How much water should I drink?
>>8011774
urine.
>>8011781
every day, drink some water
Where do you work?
>>8011771
what is your favorite wavelength?
>>8011771
Well that fucking sucks. Is that what you pictured when you enrolled in biology?
>>8011771
arent you afraid of diseases? like piss from some meth head gets spilled
What method do you use for crystal identification?
>>8011771
I'm the janitor and I clean up the spilled pee, when someone drops it.
I don't know about crystials. Drink plenty of water faggits.
R Kelly
do you ever find dead sperm cells in the urine you analyze?
>tfw medical technologist
>have to handle normie urine all the time when they've been binge drinking too hard in the clubs
I hate my life
>>8011872
>medical technologist
Eurofag here, never heard of that. What did you study? What do you do?
>>8011771
Have you ever analyzed something that turned out not to be urine, and if yes, what was it?
>>8011888
Studied microbiology, parasitology, hematology, coagulation, immunology, urinalysis, and chemistry. I work in a hospital lab.
I rotate between various departments in the hospital lab. I do blood work, urine tests, microbiology off various body fluids or tissues, etc.
The pay isn't worth it.
What kind of piss tastes the best? I work for Quest and sometimes I drink fresh samples if it was a woman under the age of 30. I find that the urine of women from age 12-26 tastes the sweetest.
>>8011872
Would you recommend Medical Technology? Or only as a foundation for something else?
Currently a Med Tech student cause idk what to really do in the medical field, which sucks.
>>8011890
Not OP, but I worked in toxicology before and a guy tried to fool us by giving just water that had a bit of dye I'm guessing it in. We knew right away it wasn't urine because we test for creatinine and it came back as zero.
>>8011905
You'll have a job guaranteed which is nice but the pay sucks. If I knew how to get out, I would.
>>8011890
Not OP, but I was once sent a balance from a centrifuge that was mistakenly sent instead of urine. It contained water (what a surprise!)
At the hospital where I used to work patients would frequently just send us a water sample because they were too embarrassed handing over some piss.
>>8011903
Do you make decent money at quest? I'm assuming you're ACSP certified as an MT.
how much of a racket is it?
>>8011914
What do you do currently?
>>8011919
I'm a supervisor at a small diagnostic lab in the private sector. I used to work as technician in a hospital microbiology lab (I studied microbiology at uni).
>>8011771
What was the worst source of urine you've ever found?
As in, I'd imagine a meth addict would have less "quality" (read: normal) urine than the average person.
>>8011928
How old are you? How satisfied are you? How's your salary? I'm currently a tech and I fucking hate this position mostly because the money is awful. I have management experience and I do microbiology mostly. I'd be really interested to know how you like it
>>8011771
Do you ever have dreams of going to NASA to analyze astronaut urine?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05oOst9kZXQ
>>8011912
Do you ever plan to pursue higher education or specialize in something other than urinalysis? Like a Master's? Or just go back to school for Nursing?
>>8011961
Maybe. I'm a generalist at this point so I'm not specialized. I'll probably go to higher education. Will never do nursing.
>>8011943
I'm in my late 20s, I enjoy my job but my salary is shitty. I'm currently taking a chemistry course to help me get a better job/promotion.
MALDI and molecular techniques are slowly taking over routine microbiology although I don't expect it to change vastly any time soon. I'd try and find a position in a field you enjoy first, anon. Even if it's completely different to what you're doing now. No point climbing the ladder doing something you hate.
>>8011976
Yeah I'm in my early 20s and feel kind of stuck. And you're right, MALDI-TOF is changing the game fast, especially in my lab.
My plan was going on to higher education but even that feels somewhat misguided or like a pipe dream. Where do you think you'll go from where you are now?
do you prefer tomato based or vinegar based bbq sauce
>>8011771
What do you do when you get bored?
Glassware music and culture races where the shit back in uni, but i guess you cant do that when employed
>>8011771
Do you have a piss fetish? I love it when a hot girl pees on me.
>>8011771
how can I pass a weed exam?
>>8011771
Can I pass a drug test if i use the N2 dilution method?
(N2 method is just drinking alot of water and consuming alot of creatine 3 to 4 days before a drug test)
how long after eating a poppy seed bun can i pass a piss test
if i smoked alot of pot is it in my pee
>>8011823
OP BTFO AGAIN
Even if they pass the test, what's a sign they were at least a little worried you notice in urine specimens?
Do you guys analyze specific compounds in urine? A valium analogue is for instance most likely going to show up a valium and fall in the benzo category. Do you guys notice structural differences or just rely on a panel that shows it as valium?
>>8012656
Can you be more specific?
I have never used before, and I don't plan to do so. However I just started dating this younger woman who smokes about 2 times a day. She claims she could pass a test after just a few days or using a product like charcoal. I told her that was almost certainly bullshit.
Can you settle this argument?
>>8011771
i just did a drug test for work. i couldnt piss and they said i couldnt drink more than 1L of water within 2 hours or else the test would be too diluted. is that all it really takes to pass a piss test?
>>8012656
Do you guys not always report very low levels of THC/CBD? Not touching it ever is a bit extreme and I haven't smoked in years.
>>8012656
Do proton pump inhibitors really give false positives for thc? I'm on Tecta and would like to know.
>>8011771
how many women have STDs?
Is there anything that can draw a false positive for marijuana other than synthetic shit with a very similar structure (most don't from what I understand)?
>>8012741
80% If you include HPV. Among black women 93%.
>>8011771
Pee fetish
What is the most common abnormality you find in urine? In high school I did a urinalysis lab and it was pretty fun desu.
>>8011771
How often do they let you "take a piss"?
>>8011771
Can you do free STD testing for me I need discreet options
>>8012706
I mean don't touch weed. Don't smoke it and DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT. Like with your hands. The test will know.
>>8011771
How much would it cost to bribe the person/people who does/do the testing to say the piss is clean?
>>8011985
I quite like running the analysers and I do some mass spec work at present via GCMS. I'm fairly adept at taking the machines apart and reparing them so I might try and get a job as a service engineer or failing that, somewhere I get to do more analytical chemistry.
Serious question, I have foamy urine, had it tested for kidney stones but doc says its not that.
I seldom drink alcho, and always drink lots of water every day
>>8011782
hahahah faggot
>>8013793
You have diabetes
>>8013793
Stop fapping so much. Traces of seminal fluid make it foamy.
Have you even been Jarateed before, on purpose or accidentally.
>>8011771
Have you ever found something besides urine in a sample?
>>8011771
Why do you work in a lab that analyzes urine?
>>8012804
and without HPV?
>>8011774
This guy
