why can't anyone ever give actual dating advice besides "just talk to girls bro say hi just b yourself be le confident"? i'm sick of hearing this bullshit over and over. what's the TRUE answer?
Be yourself, hang out with new people and you'll eventually just fall into it.
alternatively you could make an effort to get numbers and stuff but that's a lot of pressure
Fine... I'll give you the TRUE answer. The secret we Chads have been keeping from betas. I don't care... I'm going to do it, even if it means getting kicked out of the dudebro club.
The absolute real reason betas don't get laid is becauseyou're shitty to drink with, and that's how most normies socialize. You fucks either don't drink (and thus can't pick up on the freeflowing drunken vibe of people who are in that zone), or are fucking downers who drink to pass out alone instead of drinking to have fun with people. Cut it out, and use the inhibition-lessening nature of alcohol to get over your buzzkilling natures.
>>28407246
I can confirm that this actually works. I used to do it all the time before I started drinking alone just to get fucked up.
Now I'm just a drunken, social recluse
>>28407246
I'd rather stay a virgin than having to conform to this degenerate practice
experience talking to girls, some confidence and being yourself are all things that are useful, but they aren't what should be aimed for. they're things that happen along the way.
if you're achieving some things that you set out for yourself, your self worth will improve. if you bumble your way through many bad social interactions you'll eventually find people of a similar disposition, and you will be able to be yourself instead of pretending to be someone else to fit in. These things are obviously really difficult, but focusing on nebulous end states like being confident will just keep you stuck in a rut. To move forward you have to focus on the appropriate next step, for most people here that is not getting a gf, it's something like not sleeping in as much, going for walks, taking some time to read or work on hobbies that are of value to yourself as well as others. Think of it like an RPG. If you're low level, it's a waste of time to try to take on a high level enemy who you know drops awesome loot. you have to work on stuff the same level as you, with consistency.
The reason highly successful people seem to just be autopiloting things that seem so far out of reach, like being confident or easily talking to girls is because they've got a lot of levels under their belt. The challenge is appropriate for them,but impossible for you. So you have gradually build up levels, while abiding things that tend to make you backslide, for example sleeping in too much, consuming too much media and not exercising.
>>28407300
Then stay where you are and don't complain.
You've gotta try different activities and hobbies. I remember after getting more involved in things I met loads of people.
Pretty soon I was just hanging out with one cute grill. Now it's just me and my wife's son and it's great
>>28407029
Get over your stupid desire to be in one. Seeking one out and forcing it, out of online dating or anything else, it won't bring you anything
Fuck a girl if you want. Good luck with that. What you really want here, the companionship, that's all about being in the right place at the right time. It's all about chance. If you're not in school/uni, you better have a good paying job and a car or you're SOL.
The true answer is the one you don't want to believe.
You're inferior. Work on yourself. If you wanna get laid, looks good, smell good, groom yourself, take good looking pictures and try a fucking lot, cause you're so ugly and worthless that you'll need yo get rejected 99 times to find the 1% that likes you.
>>28407323
2/10
Subtle, but not subtle enough.
well because real advice would be stop being such a lazy piece of shit and actually accomplish something in your life but your less likely to be successful than to get a gf so
>>28407029
Because for the people who are good at dating and relationships these actions are so obvious and involuntary to them they do not understand how to break it down and articulate it in a way that anybody else would understand.
>a girl told me to "just be confident"
about what? what if she doesn't know I'm confident? confident in what way and at what times and how?
>>28407417
I'm a student. College freshman.
>>28407159
I have friends and they're all above me. I'm the beta in a group of Chads. Only reason I hang with them is because I go way back with a couple and they think I'm cool, but girls don't for whatever reason. They always talk to them and dance with them but never me. Not like I'm bad looking or anything (5'8 height is the one huge flaw) just shy as fuck.
>>28407246
I don't react very well to alcohol. I have low tolerance and I actually got drunk last night with some of my friends and I had to be physically carried home. First time I've drank in a year, drank a 5th of Jack. A girl rubbed her ass against me for 10 seconds and I didn't get a boner so that was cool. How do I increase tolerance?
>>28407304
Thanks for the good advice. Basically just sort out other shit that's wrong in your life before you try getting girls and don't focus so much on that end goal.
>>28407417
I just want casual sex right now and I can't even get that. I'm not ready for a relationship.
>>28407452
I do. I shower every day, no acne, go to the gym almost daily for the past 2 months, have abs, changed my diet, spend an hour getting dressed/groomed, try to buy decent clothes but am a poorfag. I don't get it.
>>28407300
>not moving to Muslim country
>not relaxing with your jawa bros by the medina square chewing khat and watching the waves crash
God willing she will be my wife when she turns 16
>chew more Khat
Alcohol is for degenerate fucks.
>>28407029
Because no one is going to give you a script for how to talk to another human being. It just comes natural, be yourself, be confident :^)))))
>>28407655
Then you're ugly as shit, dog. That's all there is to it.
I saw people on /r9k/ saying that shit so much I thought it was irony, but it's not just memes. That's how life works.
>>28407739
I get rated like 7-8 by /soc/ and /fa/ users (i know not a good metric) and whenever I post my pic on /r9k/ they call me a normie chad faggot so I can't be that bad looking.
>>28407835
Yes you can. Unless you stay at home all day and are a NEET, anyone who looks remotely good can get an attractive gf. Just by interacting with the world.
If you can't get laid you're either ugly as fuck or worthless. You can look decent and be worthless as well, and you can work in your worth, but only through self improvement. It's not about the shit you do or say or think.
I am going on a date tomorrow with a girl to watch Captain America Civil War and then we go out for lunch. You guys got any tips? Btw it is our second date, and we hugged last time after I left her house after playing vidya and stuff for a bit. I want to hold hands but idk how. I do intend to re-hug her and kiss her on the cheeks just go try and escalate things and see how she reacts.
>>28407029
>what's the TRUE answer?
Be attractive, don't be unattractive. Alternatively be interesting and not socially awkward.
>>28407901
so basically just make a bunch of money?
> It's not about the shit you do or say or think.
If none of that matters then what should I focus on improving?
I also have legitimate mild autism by the way so that's probably a big factor. I'm soft-spoken and don't look people in the eye very often and want to change that but don't know how.
>>28407835
I think the issue is probably your friendship group. if you're not in the right demographic, it's just not going to flow well. In high school and college the circles I dipped my toes in were either gamer spergs or pleb normies, and I always felt awkward and out of place. These days I hang out with musicians, artists, stoners and intellectual types who probably seem cooler or more sophisticated in the eyes of the average person, but our friendship is much more relaxed and I don't feel like I have to live up to their differing expectations as I did with the normies, so I automatically feel much more confident around them even though externally they are a lot cooler and more accomplished than me. It's hard but you have to broaden your horizons. I'm still super awkward at parties and clubs but in my element in a totally different person. You may be the sort of person who tries to drink like a normie when it's actually counterproductive to your sense of fitting in.
>>28407916
survive this and you're on to date 3..... the sex date
>>28407970
Work on your voice. Don't mumble, speak from the diaphragm. That alone will make you seem a lot more confident and attractive.
Eye contact isn't that much of a big deal. Just do a couple glances here and there while talking because too much of it will just make you look like a creepy fuck and too little will make you seem timid.
>>28407970
You can have all your autism shit but if you looked like Chad you'd be slaying.
You can never be Chad, but if you're decent looking the major you're in (or your job if you graduated) and the status your belongings provide such as your clothes, the place you live in or the car you drive are things that will make girls attracted even when you have crippling autism.
>>28407730
>It just comes natural, be yourself, be confident :^)))))
Made me rage. Nice bait.
>>28407029
The thing is though, that that actually is the correct answer. Your mental problems just don;t make you want to believe it. Have you ever actually tried to do exactly that? And not just a couple times, but really in earnest try try and try until it happens? We don't all look like Ryan Gosling, and we don't all have some godlike skill in sports or music that will make women wet just at the mere sight of us, so yes, it takes some effort and balls. That's all there is to it.
>>28408018
That's pretty much my exact situation. I used to hang out with fedoras and weebs in middle school for a time and I felt too good for them, then I made friends with a couple Chads and we became good friends and now we go to the same college. I relate a lot more to the "artsy" types in terms of my interests and attitude but just kinda got dragged into the normie group and I always feel out of place and like I have to dumb myself down. These are the guys who play sports, listen to trap rap, drive sports cars, hang out with the hottest women at our school, etc. and my hobbies are more playing music/photography/painting/biking/smoking weed instead of alcohol.
After a couple shots I can be fairly social but I tend to go overboard whenever I do drink (rarely).
>>28407644
Not giving a shit. Honestly treat women nicely, but let it be very fucking obvious that you could easily move on from them. You sperglords get oneitis and scare the girls away. Yknow how it's hard to find a job when you're unemployed, but if you're switching from one job to another it's much less stressful?
Well act like you already have a girl on the side you could be banging at anytime. Sperg out? Act like you don't give a shit and still have someone else who's banging you.
>>28407655
Drink often
>>28408186
>>28408186
Honestly, no. I've asked out a girl in person one time in my life. I asked her to a concert my freshman year of high school, she said yes but her mom wouldn't let her go so I went alone. There was another girl I was friends with for a bit and we hung out a lot and she kept spamming me with texts but I wasn't sure if I was friendzoned or not so I never made any moves other than calling her hot once (made her smile). Then I said her new haircut made her look like a dude as a joke and she stopped talking to me.
Haven't tried since. I just figure it'll happen naturally and I'll know right there and then how to make a move rather than just straight up asking a girl out or starting a conversation out of thin air.
people actually love 'me' my true self,
it's just law enforcement wants me to die
You have to improve yourself.
You have to make yourself into a person that others want to be around.
You have to have passions, interests (video games do not count).
You have to be well groomed, clean, put together.
And you have to be willing to fail over and over until you get it right.
If you're not willing to do that, just keep doing what you're doing and stop fucking complaining.
>>28407916
Just stop right there nigger. One, don't fucking hug her. Hugs are shit friends do. Wanna hold her hand? Just go for it. If she pulls back then just continue the date, but don't go on another one cuz she's not interested.
Be very willing to cut your losses when dating, there is no "one".
Also if you don't know 'when' to hold her hand, I recommend about 15 minutes into the movie as a good measure. Also if she lets you hold her hand, at the END of the date when you're leaving her go in for a real kiss. If she pulls back, just cut your losses as said above.
>>28408276
OK, well, if that's your plan, then don't complain about >tfw no gf. Because that's going to describe the rest of your life. As long as you're aware of this and still make the decision to live like that, then hey, to each their own.
>>28407246
>drink to have fun with other people
I forgot we shared a central nervous system. When I see car crashes, I always hope it's you.
>>28408307
did you not read the thread?
he does all that already he's just an autistic faggot who doesn't know how to open a conversation. if he actually made an attempt to talk to a girl he could get laid but his bitch ass doesn't want to do it.
>>28407029
Ok, here it is the true answer:
Go to parties where girls are getting drunk/high. Offer to buy them booze/drugs. Perhaps partake yourself to loosen up your inhibitions a bit. Guaranteed to work no matter how ugly or uncharismatic you are.
>>28408417
>do you want to "just talk" to her, or do you want to fuck her?
Here's the next in the series of Chad's classic contradictions, always fascinating, you goalpost-moving cunt.
>>28408307
>You have to have passions, interests (video games do not count)
This is the most important point, and the thing is, many betas don't understand that even video games can in fact count if you truly are passionate about them and are open and honest about your passion, without being self-conscious or weird about it.
>>28408417
He doesn't have passion.
That's the biggest thing if you're not attractive.
I'm a pretty average dude, but I have a lot of passions. I play guitar and sing irish folk music every single weekend. I run my own online business for a bit of side cash. I help organise a film meetup group in my city. I cook a lot, always trying new recipes (girls love a guy who cooks).
Basically, you have to make yourself interesting, I didn't do this stuff to get a girl, I did it because I like it. It took a while, but you have to realise that ALL people not just girls, want to be around people with passion.
>>28408471
This moving goalpost shit always pissed me off. There's no goal posts he's just saying to stop repeating everyone else. This isn't a sports game it's a 4chan discussion that means nothing. I'm not even the same guy but I'm assuming you don't know shit about rhetoric or logic.
>>28407029
u just gotta bG E N E T I C A L L YS U P E R I O R
>what's the true answer?
1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive
>>28408751
There is no logic to be found in this discussion. There is no point to this cunt giving advice to people who can't use it other than for him to feel good about his own equally meaningless successes. First the problem is you don't talk to girls; then the problem is that you're talking with her instead of flirting with her; it's as if women are buttons to push, and if I'm going to push buttons for a social life, they certainly won't be attached to something that can talk, hire a lawyer, etc.
