>be me 3 years ago
>decide to try tinder for the first time
>get a match, girl from bordering country, seems nice, fuckyea.png
>start talking, find out she is from same country as me
>keep chatting for a while, portrait myself as a sex god chad
>she asks me to go to her place, not far since i live close to border, but i'm poorfag
>invent some crazy story so i can explain why i can't go
>days go by, months go by, years go by, i finally send her a photo of me, she likes me, ohgodyes.gif
>chat for a while, then only during big holidays as christmass and easter
>get a job in a far away country, stop chatting, become a half-assed normie, can't stop thinking about her
>find her on facebook after around 150+ hours of searching and filtering bitches
>have a bad day at work, threaten boss with death if he won't leave me do my job
>get fired
>come back home, she texts me on tinder, she moved to same city as me, itstime.jpg
>chat some more, get her to meet me, literally kiss her ass in front of people, ask her to meet again, she agrees
>go to her place, she gets naked, asks me to massage her back with oil, nowisthetime.jpg
>power levels begin to show, trying my hard to keep my cool, while she turns around and tries to kiss me
>go with the flow, kiss her like i saw in lesbian porns, she loves it
>she wants me to fuck her. instead i sperg out and dry hump her while she gets wet as fuck
>keep doing same foreplay shit for an hour or so, she gets angry and bored
>anon why won't you fuck me
>ohshit.jpg invent some crazy ass story about prostate cancer, altough i'm 27, so kinda young for that shit
>she buys it, leaves me be and starts crying while she tries to make me eat her
>i dodge as a motherfucker, invent some other crazy story about a funeral i have to attend and leave
>days go by, i can't stop thinking about her, call her around 3 am every night, and talk with her about my invented cancer
>keep going like this for 2 months, she asks me when we are going to fuck, tbc
>>28291504
this is the dumbest story ever
>keep going on with the lie, while i research online everything there is about prostate cancer
>after some weeks i tell her the chemo works, and i am kinda cured
>she calls me one night when i had a dota 2 competition
>fuck my friends, i'm gonna do it
>go to her place, sperg out, while drunk af, and do same shit as first time, only thougher stuff
>fall asleep after 4 hours of petting
>wake up, stare at her for 2 hours till she wakes up
>she awakes and tries to fuck me, ohfuckwhy.png
>i dodge as hard as i can, have to protect my virginity
>she gets bored, tells me she leaves to her parents place, they live 700kms away, for the holidays
>dontleavemeplease.jpg
>tells me when she gets back she wants the greatest fuck ever
>never fapped once, khv me before i met her, tell her i will deliver
>have no idea how i will do that
so, fellow robots, help me please, i'm up for anything right now, desperate as fuck, she comes back in 2 weeks or so, any advice is welcome, also i think i fucking love her
PS: she is a camgirl, still she hasn't fucked anyone after meeting me, so i guess that's a plus
PIC RELATED, IS HER
Just fuck her you dumbass
>>28291665
how? on my way to wizardhood here
>>28291637
pay some prostitutes, fuck her, be aa normalfag fucking dumbass
>>28291712
i am a poorfag, don't have moneyz for prostitutes, also i am afraid i will disappoint her
>>28291637
Put you pee pee in her vagoo, don't expect it to be great but at this point she wouldn't care.
It'll be less embarassing than this shit, or go neuter yourself and be done with it.
>>28291694
What do you mean how?
Being a wizard is a joke.
You seriously just led her suck your dick then stick your dick inside her bag and thrust. Do this over and over vigorously.
>>28291873
below average dick here, she didn't seem to care last time we cuddled and shit
but still i am afraid she won't like it
>>28291694
What? You can't be a wizard anymore. You had a woman desire you and you even engaged in sexual relations. You are now stuck in limbo. You cannot be a wizard, nor a Chad. You can make your way to Chad if you fuck her, but you sacrificed any hopes of wizardhood when you went on tinder.
>>28291712
This, be upfront too.
tell the prostitute about your situation and you need how to please a woman.
don't catch aids.
>>28292014
She literally asked you to fuck her multiple times. She obviously doesn't care about the size and she will like it.
>>28292391
but, afraid of showing power level, and sperging out while intercourse
>>28292014
dude, no matter how small your dick is, it's better than no dick. It's like dividing by zero.
If you're so nervous about it tell her you'd rather she go on top and cowgirl you.
>>28291637
I'm going to give you five seconds to cough up a bitcoin for wasting my time with this, or I kick the prostate out of you so hard you shit phlegm.
>>28292452
If you're turned on enough, you'll be fine. Even normies act fucking weird when horny.
>>28292452
You'll be too busy fucking her to sperg out.
I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think about much else besides the sex when I'm doing it.
And you've already hung out/talked with her a bunch, and you didn't show your power level. So why would you in the future?
Jesus Christ anon, just do it.
>>28292452
Play it off later and have a joke about it
You have went much farther than 99% of us posting on this board could ever would, just man up for once in your life and fuck her.
>>28292452
Just tell her you're a virgin and that you were scared. She already wants to fuck you and girls who want to fuck you don't find you being a virgin unattractive.
well, she is gonna be back in a week, gonna try to man up and listen to your advice, thank you anons
ever since i started visiting 4chan, you guys have always made me feel a bit better with all the shitposting, it made me forget, for a little while, about my shitty life, will post here results
>>28292856
please do. I believe in you, anon, you're just being so goddamn irrational.
