How did you become the broken man, you are today anon ?
>bullied throughout youth
>no friends, just people using me
>lost every match during eight years of forced sports
>everyone i ever trusted betrayed me in some form or another
still somehow made it into college though
>>28311676
>forced sports
>forced to attend one of my high school's football games freshman year
>"This will be good for you, Anon, school spirit is important, blah blah blah blah."
>'I don't want to go, please stop this, only popular kids with alot of friends go to games.'
>"REEEE I'M YOUR FATHER WE'RE GOING."
>Dresses like a vietnam veteran standing outside a thrift store
>Stand out like niggers in the snow
>Take seats
>See all chads & staceys staring
>Dad oblivious
>"See? It's not the end of the world."
>Next day
>"Anon, were you and your dad at the game? Does he always dress like that?"
>>28311676
Too much sedating drugs leading to poor life choices
Genetic disposition
Being raised by a single mother
I may or may not be legit autistic
Some doctor said I was a long time ago, but not even my parents believed him, apparently the doctor suggested that I should take pills back then. But neither my dad or mom wanted that shit.
>Never had social interaction until I was like 10
>Started practicing sports at 12
>All my friends ended up becoming chads and made constant fun of me
>This made me lose all trust in anyone
>Low self-esteem
>Ugly
>>28312031
go to a psych in short time m8, better knowing than continue doing the Assburger life.
also comfy antidepressants and stuff
>>28312142
the protobot
>Always felt inadequate
>thought I was always behind everybody else
>also had a bad speech impediment till my mid teens
>that shaped me into a quiet, anxious dumbwit
>but in reality I didn't have anything to say with these fuckwits because they were the ones who were behind
>started my own company at 16
>170kg deadlift at 15
>hitchhiked through europe at 17
>can speak english, spanish and my native language fluently
>play an instrument
>bla bla bla other shit talk about how great I am yeah yeah
>still hate most people, doesn't help that I live in almost a 3rd world country, where the average populus is as smart as some ghetto nig
>>28312184
>anti-depressants
>comfy
Yeah no
>>28312288
first of, dubs
second, you don't really sound like a broken man
but respect anon, keep pushing the wall in and break it.
>born generally unattractive
>had all my friends ditch me to live out their dreams while I stayed and rotted in our home town
>never played sports or exercised and started smoking at 21
>went to shit state college for shit degree
>was really religious until I slowly lost any faith I had
Theres more bit those are the big ones
>inb4 failed normie
Obviously.
>>28312523
sounds shit, hows life, are you falling for the neet meme ?
I was convinced that academia was more important that building social circles
Felt sorry for the kids that didnt do their homework or got into trouble a lot, not realising they were the ones that would eventually become the most successful
>>28311676
>total control freak aspie
>friends always ditched me
>tried to emulate characters I thought were cool
>started watching Urusei Yatsura in highschool
>couldn't stand changes or things not going the way I wanted them to
>>28312616
My story exactly, Anon. Had my first inkling at age 16 of the terrible mistake I'd made and it's been continuously downhill since then.
>everybody has an immediate disposition towards hating me
>have no idea why
That comma bothers me.
To the topic of the thread.
I have been broken in the past but I rebuilt myself to be stronger and more resilient then before.
I don't stay broken and you can't keep me down.
>>28312575
Nah, parents made me go to college and im about to finish so ill at least get a shit job out of the deal. Thats the only upside to my life honestly, I just feel fucking emptier and emptier every day.
>>28312775
atleast you have something to look forward to. .
Why didn't you start a hobby like tabletop or reading ?
Works for me as coping mechanism.
>Briefly bullied for the way I looked and low intelligence
>Let my life be consumed by media and video games
>childhood friends where amazing, happiest time of my life, ended once I moved away and entered high school.
>Found passion in art, spent many thousands of hours of practice
>couldn't progress fast enough, future job prospects shitty, turning old, gave up.
>Deep depression, felt like I was meant to die young, gave up on everything since I am ugly/dumb.
>Drinking was the only time in my life I really felt alive, drank for several years, then quit to get in shape because of health anxiety.
>computer consumed all my time
>No human contact and relationship experience
>NEET & near agoraphobic for 4 years
>untreated depression/anxiety
>low paying jobs
>no specialized skills/qualifications
>low intelligence
I am fucked, and I am almost at peace with it,
I feel like every day that I am alive is just an
extra day past my term of death since I've always
felt like I was meant to die at a younger age.
>mentally ill; always been withdrawn, emotionally flat/immature, always hiding tics, always uncomfortable in my own skin
>got disillusioned with women the hard way. A really hard way.
>been stuck in a rut, I guess, physically (lifting) and academically for years. Can't seem to move forward.
I am not broken, just unformed.
My mother was a belligerent narcissist and my father a henpecked weakling. I lacked friends to learn how to socialize.
My character formation consisted of lessons in avoidance of humiliation and rejection, and not much else.
So I'm not broken. It's just that whenever life presents a hostile agent, my only learned behavior is to curl up into a little ball and wait until its over and never ask for help because nobody cares.
To be broken implies you had character to begin with.
Maybe what happened to me will be similar to others.
>Be in accident which results in major concussion
> Happened almost 5 years ago exactly
>Memories of the weeks and months after the accident are either completely gone or hazy
>Start to have episodes of intense derealization
> Night terrors follow and sleep paralysis also
> Things get better over the years but after experienced what I did I felt like I didn't belong or that I was meant to die but am still lingering on for some reason.
I feel like (almost) everyone's life starts going downhill after 20 because all the hopes and expectations they had in their youth turn out to be false and far from reality. robots get hit extra hard because they don't have "muh fun youth" to fall on
>only child
>parents spoiled and coddled me my whole life
>never taught me anything about life or forced me to work and just bought me shit
>have no direction in life
>come out of a community college with an associate's in computer graphic design
>am terrible at it
>don't try to find work
>parents never force me to or threaten to kick me out
>parents get physically and mentally ill over time
>decade later be 32yo manchild neet stuck with sick parents that are literally driving me insane and I can't escape from them even if I wanted to because no money nor job
>progressively more suicidal each day
My problem is there's no quick way out of neetdom. I can't just quickly find a job and get my own place. I can't even get a job that would pay enough to have my own place in the first place. My degree is basically worthless now. Can't afford to go back to school and honestly don't think I could handle it mentally.
Knocked my ex and her mom up, had to drop out of college and wageslave to support them now, working two jobs. Not in a relationship with either of them, just work to give them money.
>>28312831
Ive played guitar for a few years and im alright, and used to have a tabletop group but everyone's been busy. Might be able to get it going again now that im almost done with the semester.
>>28313282
you're fucking 32??
>>28313443
Unfortunately. Time really slips by if you let it.
>>28313443
get the fuck out of here child
>>28313524
shit m8,
does the ride ever end ?
I simultaneously hold a deep hatred for people but also a crushing empathy as well.
It fucks with me.
Half of me wants to strangle people for inconveniencing me but the other, seemingly moral half, prevents it.
I feel like two people are times.
None of my problems are related to women or my looks as I don't care about those and never will. Women have never been important.
>>28313611
Nope. Things just get worse and worse. The ride ends in suicide. I'm trying so hard to stay in this game of life but I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore. Not even my handful of little hobbies which is how I knew it had gotten really bad.
People glamorize neetdom a bit here but I highly don't recommend it. You will fucking ruin your life if it takes over. I regret it every waking day.
>>28313796
>implying being a wageslave is better
it's a different kind of suffering. basically we are destined to suffer one way or the other
>>28313839
but suffering with a goal and occasional feel of accomplishement is preferable to suffering without a point
>also money for coping
>>28313872
when did the NEET life lose its appeal? I may not be a NEET but suffer 99% of the time, I don't remember the last time I rested because anxiety always kicks in. I get what you're saying but I do envy the smug NEETS who can actually relax and have a good time sleeping in, playing vidya etc. I've lost this ability since I was sixteen
>>28313964
Neet only works when you're born into decent money and have parents that stay healthy for a long time. Things get scary real fucking quick when your parents start to go down and you have nothing to show for your life.
>>28313964
meh,
I am currently in college, but all i would want is my room and complete feeling of being without responsibility.
That would be all i need and i would be happy, but living at your parents house, while always being judged and constantlybeing reminded that you're a freakin disappointment
>>28314044
Even if I were left to do whatever I want I would go crazy because of anxiety and depression. you can't win.
I remember spending days playing Civilization when I was younger, nowadays I can't play for one hour without anxiety kicking in
>>28312684
>>28312616
Don't sweat it, most people are full of shit anyways. Stabbing each other in the back, taking advantage at the first sign of weakness, etc. People come and go
>coworkers tell me to kill myself
>tfw I work for family
>>28311676
>Incredibly sick kid
>diagnosed with type 1 diabetes (not the fat ass kind where you just have to take a pill, have to do two shots every time I eat anything or when my sugar changes)
>had two surgeries by the age of 13 along with some other chronic diseases
>terrible procrastinator, never get anything done
>literally no friends at 21
Its made me incredibly covetous of other peoples' skills and health. I always see artists and people with some special trait and wish I could be them.
>>28313353
>Knocked my and and her mom up
That's fucked. Can you tell us more?
>>28312288
what company mane
>>28314495
Bumping for interest in mother-daughter story.
There's no reason, I'm just a robot by nature. My whole life I've never had any passion or ambition.
Just wasting each day, waiting to die.
>>28311676
>irish catholic grandma got really mad at me when she caught me playing doctor with my (female) cousin in the closet
>bullied until I started college
>no friends until college
>parents didnt let me go out
>video game addiction 7-22
>having pleb parents
>having a crazy stay at home mother
>happy up until the age of 4 then became a serious and withdrawn kid
>start having crying spells, early signs of depression and anxiety
>a good group of "friends" and short immature relationships slows down the inevitable.
>around the age of 13-17 slowly withdraw from everyone
>Meet first real girlfriend, the turning point. She breaks me by just leaving and showing up with a new bf after two weeks of no contact
>negative interactions only with women after that.
>Family hates me for being a failure up until the age of 21
>get my shit together, go to college, get /fit/
>become more and more isolated as I get closer to graduation, make a few superficial friends and keep none of them afterwards. Forget how to trust. Lose all compassion and empathy towards others.
>successful beginning to career, family starts to show "love" due to success
>So broken I don't even feel or care anymore. Everything is met with stoic acceptance.
>No enjoyment from life. No want for relationships but still get lonely for some reason.
I'm probably going to off myself by years end. There's literally no point to working since I don't do anything with the money. I still live as if I was a teen but with more responsibility and thats just the saddest thing to me since I realized I'd have to change back then. Oh well, you reap what you sow.
> Living in NZ, happy as fuck 12 year old.
> Move to Australia for Dads work.
> For some reason I get bullied by almost everyone in my class for the next two years.
> Ignored by everyone else.
> Family didn't believe anything I said.
> Always told to just stick up for myself and hit the fuckers. (Great idea, lets go 15 vs 1 aye?)
> Get to highschool ready to start again and make a new life for myself.
> Puberty hits and I develop scheuermann's disease (hunchback)
I can't even go outside now without feeling like everyone around me is starting and laughing at my deformed body. Currently grade cucking myself at uni so i can maybe have some money to fund my drug fueled escapism for the rest of my life. Probably going to fail and end up on welfare though.
>>28313661
when I'm alone I crave social contact. When I'm with people it takes less than five minutes before I want to kill myself.
>>28313115
Me too man. I'm glad I'm not the only one
>>28311676
>Lack of appropriate examples. I lived under a single mother under a household where everyone around me had no real goals, ambitions, education, or mental and emotional stability
>Lack of emotional control due to the easy route of frequent doctor's appointments and drugs when I got too uppity or expressed the anger that I actually felt. If they had instead took the time to consul me or understand why I was upset, or perhaps just let things play out I might have learned much earlier.
>The isolation that was present throughout my entire life was enabled by the people around me - the only people with the gull to ask ANY questions were the very people who ostracized me. It really makes me wonder who is worse.
>My own complacency in the face of everything. I am my own man now and I am worse than any of the people I mentioned. I am trapped in a limbo where there is no forward nor backward.
I think I just have mental problems.
>>28311676
i feel you man on all levels.
but eventually i understood and accepted the fact that i'll die alone.
unless i change.
>>28314393
Hello Tokiko, did your mom finally unblock 4chan from your router? I blame the basque nigger shitposts on w2ch on you.
>>28311676
>born with autism
thanks mum for waiting until you were in your late 30s
