Didnt go to any of my finals.
Im officially a neet,as a former top student,i don't even feel like going back to university next year. I dont feel like anything
Got a job offer,i wont go
I just dont care about anythinf anymore,i'll find a rope or buy one and see if there is somewhere in my house i can hang myself
If i don't,i'll only go downhill from this point.Ill probably start drinking or doing drugs or w/e.
For the rest of my shitty life,I'll remember that i was pretty much assured to become a pharmacist or a doctor before some major soul wrecking health issues fucked me up for an entire year. My future was honnestly looking bright.
I wouldnt be here if my family actually supported me during my darkest hours and allowed me to take some time off while i was greatly depressed. Going back to university was a huge mistake.
This is not the usual "you can function while depressed". I always could, and always did function during dark hours.but this is a whole fucking new level of depression i had never reached and never thought i'd reach.
If only you knew how huge thr contrast is between what i am right now and what i was ~1.2 years go,don't even want to look at a fucking mirror.
Well my life was short,i'll probably do it in the next month,it'll only go downhill from here.
You must not be a very smart student is whinging and rope is your plan.
Just jump, there is no solution here. Do it now.
>>28049965
I was in the exact same position you are in just a couple of days ago. I was drinking heavily and trying drugs, not caring about my health at all etc. wanting to just give up on Uni and become a neet.
Then I realised it was a stupid way to think, and all these negative thoughts were just my brain feeling sorry for itself. The fact you got into University in the first place shows you have the ability to get somewhere, and instead of getting letting all this overwhelm you just do the work you have to do and see where it takes you. You might realise this course isn't for you and thats okay, but don't give up so soon because its difficult, which is what its supposed to be.
I could be wrong but you wanting to kill yourself might suggest you want people to feel sympathy for you, which isn't what you want, you want people to respect you, which is something you have to earn by getting a hold on your life. Make people care for you by being someone pleasant to be around, not by making them feel sorry for you.
College/University is an incredibly stressful experience and many students feel similar to what you're thinking but focusing on getting the work done will distract you from having to worry about not being depressed. If its that bad then just get the damn job, when you actually go to it, get stuck in and do the job, its nowhere near as bad as you think.
>>28051293
Thanks. I don't really care what people will think tho. My family members might understand that they should have listened to my cries for help instead of giving me more shit. They might not,it doesnt matter
I used to be extremely mediocre in the past. Very unhappy,wrecking social anxiety,no quality nothing.Always depressed ,my life was worthless honnestly.Hated myself,blabla. Then one day i woke up,realised some things about life,etablished clear goals that gave me a powerful drive. Radically chabged everything about myself, for the first time in my life ,i truly felt alive,life never felt as great,i was now a top student skyrocketing in every aspects of his life,future was bright as fuck. Greatest point of my life and it was JUST the beginning of a great life. Then major soul-wrecking health issues happened,1 year of living hell,lose all i had built,became a mental wreck,need time to recover before i go back to school. Family gives me shit, i go,fail everything.
My dreans and my ambition allowed me to change my shitty life for the better and change as a person. Now i'm back to the same person i used to be and always hated,i'm actually even worse now.
I'll always look back and be depressed about what i used to be and where i was heading. I'd prefer to live a short a great life than a long and mediocre life
Of course i can keep going and get the job,take a year off, become something else in the healthcare (nurse maybe?) but i'll stay unhappy as i was in the past.Sure plenty of people do it but what's the point? + knowing me,i always had a great difficulty to be commited to anythinf when i'm in that mediocre state. Just forcing myself is good for a while but i won't be able to maintain it in the long run. That's something i had taken care of in thw "high point" of my life.
These are 1st world problems tho. Children in africa would give their life become cashiers at mcdonalds in canada
Anyway thanks for the advice man
>>28052071
Everyones parents give them shit.
Everyones dreams are crushed.
Everyone regrets.
Your pain is temporary.
The solution is a bullet administered into the throat, through the brainstem and out the skull.
>>28049965
If it's that bad just get off this ride senpai, in the end none of us will make it out alive
>The fact you got into University in the first place shows you have the ability to get somewhere
PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFH HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
