>tfw I should have let depression run it's course and killed myself last year
>tfw now I just suppress absolutely all negative feels
>am just wondering around now with no direction, no positive or negative emotional influences, let go of everything that made my character and motives
>I just am existing, nothing more
A-at least I beat depression, right?
>>28017006
You're not supposed to suppress the feels bro.
>>28017031
I cannot help myself, anon. Each thing that was meant to break me and push me over the edge instead shaped me regarding how to deal with it.
After all the stuff in my life I simply stopped giving a shit. any time a feel starts bubbling up and I feel like a feels wave will hit me I ignore it completely, distract myself even. This happens maybe once ever two months.
Hopefully I can condition myself for it to never come back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmTmTMcdxOs
Congratulations, you've taken step one to getting your life back! You feel like you've hit rock bottom, but one hand at a time you're climbing back up.
I was there too not long ago. Addict, alcoholic, suicidal. Through the grace of God I'm here today, able to tell you the joys that await you on the other side.
Get some therapy, it really does help. Talk to a psychiatrist about medication for your depression, if its truly chemically induced you absolutely need it. Remember, this is a disease, not who you are. Just like a cancer patient has to fight every day, so do you. You can beat this, I believe in you
>tfw I am afraid of telling my therapist or parents that I have social anxiety
>and also depressed
>tfw my parents think I am a lazy nigger who plays vidya all day
>>28018247
Why do you think your therapist would have a worse opinion of you for that?
>>28018377
I am afraid to call him 2bh
>>28018438
Write a note and deliver it to him in person. The anxiety of saying it out loud may be more than you can handle, but what about just jotting it down on a piece of scratch paper? Pretend you're just writing it in a journal or something
Just existing is better than not existing.
You can gather positive influences in your life when you make an effort to get in touch with what is happening in the world. Go to school, get a job, join volunteer events or activism.
When you feel it can't get any worse, it can only get better. If you feel it can get any worse, just go ahead and make active effort to completely fuck up your life. It can only get better if you can't stand your status quo enough.
>>28018151
>God
lol
oll
llo
>>28017006
I'm just like you and i regret not killing myself early in life as well. No answers here.
>>28018456
I did it actually, wrote just suicide on a paper and gave it my therapist, but my biggest issue is to call him and make a meeting.
>>28018555
Mail it to him if nothing else.
>>28018480
It's only consistently gotten worse over my 25 years despite me thinking it couldn't get any worse multiple times.
>>28017006
>tfw I haven't seen drive yet.
How is it? Is it a robot movie?
>>28018684
Not really, but it's good
>>28018670
I hope it get better when I become 25, since than I will get an apartment from government and don't depend on my parents
>>28018692
>better
>25
top kek
i have shouted many times to my parents about this stuff.
but they think it's all just a expression of youth or some bullshit which will run its course.
i went to psychiatrist alone but he was retard who was just keen on writing prescriptions.
>>28018692
Moving out only helps for a while, a year or two.
>>28018692
>since than I will get an apartment from government
Jesus fucking christ what kind of paradise do you live in?
>>28019062
the neet's paradise
>>28018247
> tfw my parents dont believe i have social anxiety despite telling them
>>28019062
Jesus fucking christ what kind of paradise do you live in?
its called germany, free money for everybody
>>28019123
yeah I am afraid they don't believe me and say it is just an excuse for being lazy
>>28019157
Its probably what they will say i stoped caring about what they think and i stoped caring about my body image... ive given up
>should have just killed myself after graduating high school
>my good buddy 'ol pals on 4chan told me I was just being an edgy teenager, so don't
>here I am 3 years later in college and $20k in debt still depressed and suicidal
>can't commit suicide because dropping that debt on my parents on top of my death would be even worse
t-thanks guys
>>28019139
muh germanbro
>>28019217
>college debt passed to your parents on debt
where? that's unbelievable
>>28019469
*on death
Also, are you atleast passing?
>>28019477
3.7 GPA so yeah I'm soing fine. And my loans are parent plus loans, so they pay partially currently whereas I pay the rest when I graduate. But if I were to pass they would have to pay the rest.
