I thought as a kid I'd become an electrical engineer and programmer, and that I'd just learn how to do stuff in those fields after college.
How naive I was.
I learned nothing. I did nothing. I bullshitted my way to the top.
I'm a shell of a man. I have no friends, no girlfriends, nobody.
What did I miss? I paid attention. I did the work, I got A's. But nothing ever stuck.
I thought as a kid I'd be competent as an adult. That people would love me. That I could talk without stumbling over my own words. That I'd just learn from experience over the course of my life. I was wrong.
I am the same person I was when I was 12. I never changed. I know the same facts, have the same opinions, and say the same things. How did this happen to me? Where did it go all wrong? Not even God knows the answer.
I was a prodigy, did that contribute? Perhaps my mind solidified before my meat-suit would let me be an adult.
I wanted to be great, to genuinely contribute to society. I am but a magician, manipulating superficial reality to my will, but secretly there is no magic.
>>27992725
you can always genuinely contribute burger flipping to society
>software degree, good grades, programmer since 12
>be a tutor of C/C++ for 5 years
>95% of students are rubbish
>have to pass them anyway because university doesn't discriminate
>no one knows how to write code for shit, especially females
>think they're all hot shit programmers anyway because we make assignments trivially easy
>all terrible
>send them out into the world with massive uni debt and no skills
>wait for them to post on 4chan
>reply with this comment
>>27992725
I felt that this is what a modern college education would do. Sending kids with huge debt out into the workforce with no actual skills and they can't do the job they went to school for.
>>27992807
fucking devilish
:::::
>>27992807
>>27992851
I mean, I am smart, and creative. I have the skills.
But you know this feeling you get when procrastinate a lot and have like less than a few hours to finish work and you start cutting corners, BUT BY SOME MIRACLE, everyone thinks you're some kinda genius and you feel like you ate 20 pounds of junk food after?
It's like that.
Here is my situation:
>get assignment from office
>get anxious
>Procrastinate
>assignment is due soon
>read the documentation
>literally easier than anything I did in college
>however the time frame makes it seem extremely difficult
>bullshit it
>later that year get promotion
>feel like shit because it's all a lie
>procrastinate
I literally could be the next Steve jobs if I put in the effort
>>27992725
>I bullshitted my way to the top.
Everyone at the top got there that way. The great disappointment of life is that that cliche about how its not what you know but who you know really is true, and that superficial appearances count for everything and competence counts for close to nothing.
>>27992851
Well, it's true that college doesn't teach you a lot anymore. But it's also true that employers don't really care about anything that it does or could teach you. 99% of jobs involve no calculus or timed tests where you can't look things up online. The hiring manager selects people on the "beer test", because he wants someone that he and the rest of the team like and get along with. As for your actual knowledge, that's less important, but your resume has to look good so that if his boss doesn't like who he hires, he can cover his ass.
HOLY FUCK I WAS TEXTING MY COWORKER
EVERYONE PROCRASTINATES FOR 5 HOURS A DAY AT WORK
THE ONLY THING KEEPING THE ECONOMY TOGETHER IS PEOPLE BEING INCREDIBLY INEFFICENT
HOLY FUCK MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE IS A LIE
THE WHOLE WORLD IS A LIE
I COULD BE A MULTIMILLIONAIRE WITHIN 6 MONTHS
>>27992936
I'll be in a similar boat soon. I graduate with a Software Engineering degree in 2 weeks and already have a job lined for me when I graduate.
They made me take a coding test and interviewed me and thought I was some awesome ass future super employee.
I start in a month and I'm scared to death that I won't be able to competently complete my tasks. I did really great in school but I feel i only did good because I'm good at SCHOOL and maybe not software. Ahhhhhhh
>>27992936
yeah this is that top shit programmer attitude I was talking about.
you're not the next steve jobs, if you were you certainly wouldn't be posting here
>>27993006
>coding test
Was it fizz buzz
>>27993032
No. It was a site that basically asked those brain teaser type programming questions.
Though it is possible you really have bullshitted your way through 100% of everything you've ever done, the more likely scenario is that you're experiencing impostor syndrome.
>>27993006
>I did really great in school but I feel i only did good because I'm good at SCHOOL
Happened to me. I'm excellent at solving little canned problems where the requirements are very clear, which meant I did well on homework. I'm excellent at studying for and taking exams, where you solve lots of tiny little problems in a defined amount of time, some of which generally contain a pitfall designed to trap the unwary.
Then I graduated and found out that employers don't really give a crap about your GPA, because those skills are all it measures.
>>27993059
Well
F U C K
U
C
K.
>>27993059
I'm in a similar situation to OP and I really am a charlatan. I wouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt.
If you're an engineer and even remotely thinking about your skill level you are better than 50% of devs I've met.
I grew up with a passion for computers, It's still what I love. I know my ways around Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, I can do networking and I can troubleshoot any software or hardware issue presented to me and have a track record of always being the "go-to tech guy" amongst my family and friends.
Can't for the life of me get a job servicing computers. I'll walk into computer shops with a big smile on my face, shake the owners hand firmly and call him "sir" asking for any work and get denied every time. I've filled out hundreds of online applications that go unanswered as well.
It should've been something that I got into EASILY at the age of 18, but it just isn't fucking happening. Years later, I still can't get a computer job.
>>27993158
See, I'm one of the people questioning myself and when I read stuff like this I kinda get some sense knocked into me. I've worked with most of my graduating class on a project at some point and the most cock-sure/care-free developers are always the shittest and had to come to me asking how to solve x.
So yeah I feel like the people that look inwardly and question themselves are actually alright. I just kinda take it to an unhealthy extreme.
>>27993089
Literally the exact opposite of my problem. I'm barely getting through the hard parts of a compsci degree at a mid tier school right now and at the same time I work for a nasa contractor designing and programming custom cnc machines and I'm told that I'm doing a great job for what it's worth.
I fucking hate school so much I wish they would just give me a problem to solve over the course of the semester and help me if I get stuck instead of this totally artificial bullshit "oh this is due in 1 week. ten minutes late and it's a zero sorry" It's not helpful and learning from lectures is hard as fuck because they don't contextualize anything, they just list a bunch of concepts in order so I don't understand how they really all work together.
>>27993311
This feel is too real, I hate school. I always do better outside of school when I get to work on real problems and when I get to do it in whatever way I want. Teachers always want you to do it their way. It was the same when I got my driver's license, I got way better as soon as I was allowed to drive by myself.
>>27993311
>>27993416
That "lack of real-world context" and specific directions was why I liked school. Everything was clear. In the real world employers want to not have to give you many, if any, directions and have you just figure shit out on your own, and I hated every second of it.
>>27993456
Yeah but that's why they hired you. Software is a creative field. If they knew how to do everything already they wouldn't need you to design it.
>>27992807
>especially females
Confirmed for not being an actual tutor. You get the guys who already know everything the course has to teach. The guys who really genuinely interested and try. And girls who just manage. You hardly ever get a girl who actually doesn't understand it.
You sometimes get guys who really don't get it though.
>>27994058
holy fuck bro what university did you go to
women were the absolute worst in all the courses I tutored
there were retards then there were women
>>27994882
Well to be fair I tutored people who were set for masters degrees.
Perhaps it's worse elsewhere.
>I paid attention. I did the work, I got A's. But nothing ever stuck.
Same here, anon.
Same here, I'm tempted to join the army just so I can get some money behind me
>>27994882
>going to a school of retards and women
neat.
guys were always better in math but the people i had to tutor fit the normal curves of women being somewhere in the middle and trying to figure it out, with guys either being complete fucking morons like 10 years behind everyone else, or being a little faster than the rest.
honestly don't know how programming looks but in biology and chemistry women were usually better than men in general.
>>27994935
ha I tutored second year lel
>>27994990
At my school, in the CS department, it was women who were feast or famine. Some of them (mostly the Asians) worked hard and knew their shit as a result, the rest tried to coast by on "I'm a girl, teehee" and washed out by the end of sophomore year. Guys ran the gamut from brilliant to okay to morons.
>>27992725
>I bullshitted my way to the top.
So did most engineers and scientists, boss ;)
