Mental Health/Illness Thread
>now failing classes due to depression
>can barely get out of bed in the morning
>parents disappointed
I think I'm gonna end it all this Friday desu
Bitch I have depression, and I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. It sucks.
I stopped going to classes 3 weeks ago, completely trashing my gpa. I paid for this semester and last semester completely out of my own pocket, and I still haven't been able to care enough to fucking go.
Christ, I hate myself.
I suffer from intense shame.
If i were born to a normal family then perhaps I could be normal socially. Imagine being born to a hoarder family and having them invite people to your home regularly only to have those people be visibly repulsed by your disgusting living conditions.
Every week to this day I suffer the shame of a filthy person in a filthy family. I have been NEET for 8 years and in most circumstances I cannot face people because of the deep shame I harbour.
My parents care about me but they are filthy and I am filthy. They do not seem to understand. I understand that they do not understand and I do not resent them. I could clean up after them but I just don't have the motivation. After living in filth my whole life I am used to it.
Today's the day I'm going to do it.
>>27975612
I know this feel too well anon. Being raised by decent people... but their poor, stupid, hoarders that society dictates I have to be ashamed of. Which they're completely oblivious to.
>>27975413
>now failing classes due to depression
I know that feel senpai.
Motivation is almost nonexistent, I can't focus, and brain fog impairs me, as well. I started new medication which has made me slightly less drowsy, but at this point it's too late, I'm too far behind, I missed several classes because I was half asleep, and for cumulative subjects like Calculus it's over.
I'm trying to convince my parents to let me take a year off from school but they won't let me.
On another topic, what do you guys do when your suicidal urges flare up very strongly? For me it tends to come and go in periods of a few weeks. Drugs aren't an option.
i'm failing classes too, its hard to study when youre constantly thinking about jumping off the nearest building
and in the one class i did manage to study for, i still failed the midterm
at least i have some benzos to deal with the stress, which will be healthier for me than drinking every night
>>27975413
dropped out 3 years ago because of this. been neet ever since. lots of shame. trying to fix life. if you can get through it it some how without dropping out it will make things a lot easier in the long run
>>27975612
Are you me? I don't remember posting this.
Originaldo.
>>27975456
Wow. The thing you have is like the OPs thing except one level worse. Good job
>>27975645
>>27975795
Thank you.
It is very gratifying knowing that there are people in a similar situation to myself.
