What's your biggest problem right now? I am here to listen and talk to you.
getting pretty bored nowadays.
i have a job but i work part-time so i work 3 days a week and 4 days of sitting at home doing pretty much nothing.
well i can switch to full time schedule but i really don't want to. there was this girl at the workplace that i fell in love with who happens to be also one of my best friends. she rejected me now we are barely talking.
i dont wanna spend anymore time with her. it still hurts.
>>28024244
What are you doing when you're not working? Why don't you want to switch to full time if you are bored?
>>28024129
I've lost all motivation
I'm currently 18 in highschool and ending my senior year, and I have an F, 3 D's, 2 C's, and a B
You might think it's not the worst thing in the world but before this I had always had either A's or B's. I always had above a 3.5 GPA and even got a 4.0 one sememster. I had so much potential to do great and I threw it all away. I got accepted to San Fransisco State for computer science but the school and students there are shit, so I'm going to community college first.
>>28024325
What do you think was your motivation before?
>>28024280
read the whole thing dude.
i dont wanna spend anytime with that girl
she also works there.
our shifts usually dont cross paths on that 3 days
but if i switch to full time thats gonna happen eventually and in my job sometimes you have to spend like 6-7 hours together while standing up and doing nothing but waiting for passengers.
>>28024413
I get it, but why is that so bad? Did she reject you in a cruel way?
>>28024463
well first of all i was really in love with her. it wasnt like having some feelings or liking her or anything.
her rejection wasnt that cruel. but what made it so bad for me was she started dating with some other guy in the work. and seeing them together it just hurts so much. i saw the the way she looks at guy. it was really painful for me.
>>28024409
I wanted to go to Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo where my cousin was getting his master's degree. It would've been really cool since it's such a good school and to be able to hangout with him my first year, but I got denied from the school. I pretty much gave up after that.
The reason that i'm going to community college is to get a second chance at going there, even though my cousin will be gone
>>28024559
Think about why you developed feelings for her. Was she really worth it, given the end result? Do you think she started dating that guy because she wants to humiliate you or something? Maybe you read too much into it and assume she is a cold-hearted bitch. Some people move on very quickly, you probably get attached more quickly. I am willing to bet for her it's perfectly normal to get new guys all the time. What do you think?
I feel really lost in life, to put it simply. I could be long winded about it but the bottom line remains the same. I've been a NEET for about 5 years now, the basement dwelling cheeto encrusted fingers type of neckbeard. It's obvious if I don't make changes the end result isn't going to be pretty, it'll result in homelessness followed by a dead end job at best or suicide at worst. That realization should scare me a lot more than it does, should spur me into action. I keep thinking there has to be another way but I can't find it. The best course of action is to bite the bullet, right? Get a part time job, buckle down, all that good shit?
I already know what the answer is, I'm kind of journaling now. I've made a mountain out of something that's expected out of everyone nowadays. Damn I am a pussy about this, thought about buying a one way ticket across the country so I'm in so far over my head I have no choice but to take action.
So jump in?
>>28024573
If you got denied, did you really have "motivation" to begin with? You think you did, but it wasn't enough to move you. Do you secretly want something different? Maybe you lie to yourself about it to not feel guilty? BTW your potential is still great whether you believe it or not. It doesn't just leave you.
>>28024129
life is boring. i dont care about anything
I want to start playing music again for fun, but I don't want to ever become a 40 year old musician clawing desperately to cling to the past. Those old fucks are an embarrassment.
>>28024651
i actually can't answer the first question properly because like i said this job involves spending a lot of time with your colleague-partner together you end up getting pretty close. but if i push myself i'd say we have some stuff in common like we both like literature, art and traveling. also i always felt like she has super caring heart from the way she interacts with other people and me.
i dont think she was worth it though after i start seeing stuff more clearly now. I dont think she did it on purpose. We were really close before all this happened and were telling each other about our secrets, families and such. Also its completely wrong that she gets new guys all the time. I dont know if you believe me but she is not that attractive or cute. As a matter of fact when i told my other colleagues about my feelings towards her. They didnt believe me thought i was joking because she is not that good-looking, i dont wanna use that but ''ugly''.
also i dont think i got attached that quickly though this was the first time i fall in love with some in 5 years.
>>28024701
That's an interesting solution you've thought of. Being stagnant for 5 years has likely bogged you down into a lazy routine that's very hard to get out of. I was in a similar situation, almost homeless, needed to move out and take control of my life. You need something to shake you good. My honest thought is GO FOR IT.
>>28024771
How do you spend your day? For how long have you been doing the same things without noticing a significant change in your life?
Tinnitus, it's not that bad though, but fuck. Fuck.
It's genuinely not that bad I'm wearing noise cancelling headphones and it sounds like faint crickets but I was really scared when it started, need to protect my ear at work. If it goes away I'm going to hug both my parents and help my friend get his license.
>>28024841
Why do you think you''ll get to be like that? The mere fact that you know about those types of people means you'll adjust your behavior to prevent it. Playing music is a great way to stimulate creativity and stay young.
basically getting cucked emotionally by a girl in another state
idk why but i thought my spaghetti was going to drop when i was first talking to her on the phone but i did insanely good and we've talked for hours some nights.
i don't feel like getting too clingy (funny because i'm making a post about her) tho because i know it's probably not going to end in anything but she's the first chick that has gone out of her way to talk to me and the first chick i've been pretty comfortable talking with
i feel like i'm now more comfortable with talking to girls but i hate going out of my way to meet new girls and i'd feel like a nerd bitch for going on a dating site.
24 year old virgin. Had multiple chances to not be but bitched out at the last minute. No friends to go out with to even try to pick up girls since they all moved away.
Pretty fucked on an endless spiral of messaging girls on dating sites and setting up meets and then the meets fall through.
>>28024971
ehh i've got mild tinnitus that will just come out of no where. i feel that if i've had been exposed to more loud noises recently it'll flare up, it'll prob go away anon
>>28024879
So the reason you are in pain is because you haven't gotten over her. You talk about her like you were perfectly compatible. Do you believe in love at first sight or destined love? You know, people often become friends and even lovers simply because of being in each other's physical vicinity. At some moment you will focus on the things you have in common rather than things which lead to misunderstandings.
my stomach's on fire i feel like i'm dying i hope it's not crohn's disease
>>28025068
Mine's from acoustic trauma, there's the tinnitus that people have where your brain just kind of farts in the silence and there's the kind that never stops. It's very easy to deal with but it might spike and stay that way at any moment, if it goes away though I'm going over to my mom's house and hugging her and embracing life a bit more. This gave me quite a bit of depression because of the lack of silence.
>>28024129
I'm a 19 year old virgin with no friends. Had to drop university because I was extremely depressed and I hated it, so now I'm NEET. Feeling lost in life.
>>28025011
Good for you that you noticed the positive side of talking to that girl, even if she eventually moved on. You say that you've gotten comfortable with speaking to girls? Let's put it like this, if you continue speaking to new girls through whatever means you find possible (dating sites is just one way) you will continue becoming more and more comfortable. You will become emotionally at ease.
im an 18 year old NEET
basically since I was a kid people jave been in awe of my potential, I couldve become a professional football player but because my IQ is 167 my parents wanted me to go to school. At school I failed miserably, didnt even do the highest level of education and now I basically have nothing good to study. I used to be really good at making music too, talking to the biggest guys out there, getting offers to release on one of the biggest labels, but suddenly all my creativity died, that lasted for months and I quit music altogether. Since ive always been bullied because im an ugly piece of shit, I have no self esteem, never had a real gf, the only girl that ever really loved me killed herself, and I barely have friends. Now im depressed and planning on killing myself when I find the right medicines or a way to gas myself.
I want to fuck RB but he stopped replying to me.
>>28024129
My weight, nigga.
I was 350 four weeks ago, I am now 315. You'd think I'd be happy about that, but I still have so much more weight to go.
Thanks for listening to my blog post, senpai.
>>28025015
What happened those times when you had the chance? Why didn't you take it?
>>28025210
Do you have any plans whatsoever, even if you're scared of doing them? Or are you just stewing in self-loathing and distracting yourself?
>>28025210
19 year old virgin as well but it doesn't bother me much and it shouldn't bother you either. just work on liking yourself, do things you like and don't give a shit what other people think because if you do you'll never get better at it. try and make friends even if it means the nerdy guys playing dnd, it'll help you get into talking to more people. you've got to put yourself into situations where you're forced to communicate with people (which is why i recommended dnd, doesn't have to be dnd though, just find a hobby) because it'll definitely make you comfortable
>>28025238
thanks bro, makes sense now. i've been thinking that
>>28025300
hell yeah man, keep at it you can do it, i used to weight 225 and now i'm down to 140 and i feel fantastic and look pretty decent too.
>>28025251
Do you think your life is all or nothing? You should've been a wildly succesful sportsman, student, or musician, and you think you failed your destiny? It's very hard to get someone to change their belief that there's nothing you were predestined to become. It's more the feeling of shame behind it that whispers you are worthless and you should kill yourself. Once you realize there's nothing defining your value as a human being but your own capacity to decide in this moment, things can be a lot more simple.
>>28025372
Thinking about going to school local and applying for a job. My parents want me to go back to university though, so I'm feeling kinda pressured.
The girl i loved for 3 years in a row turned out lesbian
We would laugh at our jokes, we bought many many gifts to each other
We cuddled in bed and we did breakfast almost everyday
Why does she have to do this
The girl i loved for 3 years in a row turned out lesbian
We would laugh at our jokes, we bought many many gifts to each other
We cuddled in bed and we did breakfast almost everyday
Why does she have to do this
HOW IS THIS NOT ORIGINAL 666
>>28025523
So the main reason you're feeling lost in life is because of your parents pressuring you to do something you don't feel you should? Have you tried discussing honestly with your parents and telling them about your true intentions?
>>28024129
My one and only gf broke up with me in Feb 2015 because she simply was not willing to be as patient and loving and caring as I was with her problems and faults.
Then pic related
I hate everything I just want to be free of the urge to share myself with a woman
>>28025527
Did she turn lesbian out of nowhere and just left you? Or did she become colder towards you in a period of time?
>>28025512
for me it is. As I said, ive been bullied all my life so the only way I can look myself in the eye is when I achieved something. When it turns out I actually havent achieved shit and im a total failure, whats left of my identity?
>>28025652
Do you still brood over it? What impact does it have for you in daily life? You can't trust women anymore?
>>28024129
I have been needing some serious dental work for a couple of years. Dad had to spend 70% of his savings this year so it's not an option now. I should have got it done last year or the year before
Missed the last two weeks of college due to going to bed very late(sometimes 5:30AM) and waking up even at 6:00PM, only to shitpost here till it's late. Feel no interest for it anymore.
Been trying to escape this cycle but except for some daily successes, I'm still trapped.
Now yesterday I didn't even go to bed and now I haven't slept in more than 24 hours, I'm hoping that I'll be tired enough to go to bed early and wake up early, maybe fixing this shitty cycle I'm in.
I'm seeing a girl. She just wants to have some monogamous fun with me until she leaves for home in may, and I'm developing serious feelings for her. Fucking sucks.
>>28025714
You just revealed to yourself what a tiptop therapist would've done. Your base your identity around achieving things, you feel empty if you can't achieve your ideal goal. It's an imbalance of self-esteem that was formed in childhood. You need to begin to love yourself and not base your sense of self-worth on fulfilling other people's rigors. Do you think you could ever do that?
>>28025783
Have you actually calculated the costs, or just assuming? What country?
im having the "spanish gaokao" in a month. If i fail, i will probably kill myself, my grades are the only decent thing about me. Its impossible to get a job here without a degree.
My biggest problem right now is wigging out about taking a civil services test for a full time 24 an hour job even though I've gotten a test prep for it and have been studying for it consistently for around a month.
I mean, aside from the fact that I have crippling trust issues and hate a majority of women. :^)
>>28025827
Have you been having a nocturnal sleep cycle for a very long time? Or is it a way of sabotaging yourself because you secretly hate college and don't really want to attend?
>>28025866
She wants to have fun, not "monogamous fun". That's your own interpretation. If she told you she wants to break up when she leaves, it's just a fling for her. Distance shouldn't automatically prevent 2 people from loving each other. If you're developing serious feelings, maybe it's better to stay clear rather than get yourself hurt when time comes. That's the rational way, but love isn't rational...
>>28025921
well i havent gone to the dentist in a couple of years but an implant was about 500 dollars and i need 5 plus some extractions but thoe are cheap.
I have no idea how much would it cost today, i know its not an option right now tho since dad is counting every penny. We are not poor by any extent but loosing that much money is scary
>>28024129
OP is a huge faggot I can't cope
>>28026070
She made it specific that our relationship/fling/whatever it is would be monogamous.
Basically what she's told me is that she likes me a lot and if we lived closer together, she'd be more than willing to get together with me in a real relationship but 5000 miles is too hard for her. I can't blame her, but I still feel like shit when I stop to think about it. I have 3 weekends left with her before she goes, and I'm holding out on the tiniest of hope that she might change her mind within that time. It's pathetic but I haven't felt this deeply for a person in a very long time.
>>28025933
You say your grades are the only decent thing about you. Aren't you exaggerating a bit? Think about 5 things you are grateful for in your life, or you appreciate about yourself. Go ahead, and don't tell me you can't find anything. because it's impossible.
>>28025879
Yeah I know, but thats exactly my problem. I get my confidence from being very good at things, and I don't know any better. How do people get self worth out of doing nothing useful? No girl will ever love me anyway, and Im looking at 40 years of dull work, all alone, and then dying eventually anyway. Whats the point if the rest of my life is going to be working, regretting what I could have been, and shitposting?
>>28026009
I don't actually hate going to college as much as I'm apathetic about it lately, but yes, I've always been kind of a late sleeper but now it got so much worse that I'm just unable to go to college with like a couple of hours of sleep if I'm lucky.
I did lose interest but until last year I still managed to attend and indeed almost not lose any lecture.
>>28026081
You should base your decision on how urgently should they be done. If there's a serious risk of damaging your health for delaying the procedures, there is no excuse for directing any available funds toward this purpose, even if you have to borrow. If your dad thinks your health isn't important, then it's time to dump your parents and find your own resources because they clearly don't have much hope or support for you.
>>28024771
This, and I don't think I have a mental illness that makes me think this
If someone thinks a movie is boring you don't tell them they're wrong to think that, so why do people think I'm wrong when I say I find life boring?
>>28026145
It's not monogamous if she plans to leave you and (likely) find a new guy after that. You really hope to have something long-term with this girl, but you will be disappointed. You're trying to convince her but you can't change someone's outlook about relationships like that. She thinks that physical distance would be a huge impediment, for many people that is true. So either take steps to solve the distance problem (not through phone/internet) or stop seeing this girl, unless you want to get yourself hurt. You will lambaste yourself for the emptiness you will experience after she leaves you.
>>28026269
>serious risk of damaging your health
well, yeah there is. When you loose a teeth the near teeth eventually have to be removed too if enough time goes by with no intervention.
Plus i already got infected once, worst pain in my life, no cavity could ever compare. Infections are pretty serious, a bad infection would mean having to remove a piece of my jaw.
Its a serious risk but not an immediate one
>>28026407
I mean, financially I could afford to move. I have a few certifications that could get me jobs, and most of my life I've been doing hard blue collar shit.
The only thing holding me back from that is the idea of maybe freaking her out. If she asked me today to buy a plane ticket and move to her country, I'd be packed and ready within the hour. The honest truth of it is that I'm fucking freaked out that I'd so readily do this for someone. I've been trying to think of ways to broach the subject, like maybe asking her if she could ever see a situation with us together for the longer term and seeing if I could meet that standard.
Like you said, love isn't rational. Do you think I should bring it up?
>>28026152
You do get self-worth out of doing something useful, but beating yourself up for not being able to achieve particular ideals deters you from propping up your self worth. Since you have a tendency for perfectionism, you could at least apply that to anything you can get your hands on. Try to be the best at what life throws at you since that's the best option for your model of self-worth. That way, your years will be filled with interesting lively work and the person of your dreams will be like a bonus to fulfill you.
>>28026194
There's not a big difference between hating college and being apathetic about it. The reason you keep sleeping in is because you've lost your interest, as you said. Think back to what was your motivation in the first place. Unfortunately, creating a new one is very hard but there's a chance you could still do it based on what things you look for in life.
>>28026463
If it's a serious risk, you shouldn't feel guilty because it's not an immediate one. Health is more important than anything else, being tight on cash is a tiny ant of a problem in comparison. So I'd get pretty mad if my parents wouldn't help me in such a primal aspect. Assuming you've told them about the problem and they don't listen. Maybe they don't understand this is not the time where they should give you a lesson of responsibility. But I don't know you as well as your parents do, so it may actually work for you.
>>28026506
Whats the fun in sitting on a truck for 40 years with an IQ of fucking 167, then retiring due to back injuries and spending my meaningless life with other old people... everybody says that what I have is a gift, but its a fucking curse. If I was just the ordinary dude id be fine with just leading a normal life. Get a job, get a family, work, pay, die. Now I will feel the burden of failure for the rest of my life.
>>28026464
Yes, bring it up! You seem very enthusiastic about it. But I should say to wait a little while. Maybe even until the final week. Until then make sure you are ready in all ways and that the only reason you wouldn't go is because your gut tells you so. Don't tell her yet, wait a little more, test her loyalty, observe her reactions. If she really feels like being monogamous she will go full steam ahead.
>>28026740
well my dad made me go to every place that was cevered by the insurance to ask if they would offer a discount for five teeth and they all sai no. This took a while sincew i needed to set an appointment to talk to a dentist. When they all said no dad made me go with him to a couple of them again because he needed work done too so maybe they would offer a discount for the both of us together but they still refused.
Eventually dad got his mouth fixed behind my back for full price
>>28024129
lost kv and it fucked me up, because coping with how good kissing feels and the fact I've spent my whole life doing nothing is really hard
>>28026833
> But I should say to wait a little while. Maybe even until the final week.
Yeah, I think that's what I'll do.
I appreciate your advice, anon. I hope everything in your life is going alright as well.
>>28026860
oh and I made out with her twice, then she refused to do it again
>>28025604
Mom says I should give uni another chance but won't mind if I don't go. Dad will be disappointed if I don't go. I think I'll be happier if I go local and focus on my personal goals. I see uni as a scam that drains you of your money & happiness but I'm afraid I'll be seen as a shitty programmer if I don't go to it...
>>28026751
As I said, you're looking at life from mostly perfectionist-tinted lenses. You feel like you're not enough if you're not out there achieving outstanding things, because you were pushed and bullied in childhood. As it currently stands, the way of making the best out of your current situation is to become obsessed with any line of work that you can become better at. In some way you are destined, you have it in you to move towards perfection. How will you do it? By grabbing the bull by the horn. It's the only way you could eventually score.
>>28026971
you'll be a shitty programmer if you do go to it. It brainwashes you and makes you like object oriented programming. If you like object oriented programming you are fucked in the head.
Save yourself. Drop out of school and teach yourself haskell and scheme.
>>28024129
should be writing a thesis but just won't start, blaming it on all kinds of things but really it is just lack of motivation due to depression and/or alienation from the world around me
>>28026838
Things should be clear to you if your dad fixed his mouth and is now refusing his own son. Try insisting on the importance of this, say that pain is starting to show up and you're freaking out. If he doesn't want to, knowing you have no other choice, tell him to go fuck himself.
>dropped out of school
>can't tell it my parents cuz my social anxiety
>pretend everyday that I going to school
>can't get a job
>>28026910
Why aren't you celebrating losing your kv? And congratulating yourself? Do you think it was a fluke?
1) My back hurts and has done for years. I can't lift or play sports without pain. Already lost 7lbs of muscle
2) Fucked my sleep cycle so I go to bed around 6am
3) I started trading/gambling for a living. Every time I make some money I lose it again. Down -1300 for the month and wondering whether I can actually manage this. I'll do anything not to wageslave, I hate it with a passion. And I'm miles away from my goal of leaving home
4) haven't had sex since I lost my v 5 years ago. Have struggled with ED. Don't really care about women any more
5) family and country are both cucked. Our culture is dying. Media is swamped with promotion of degeneracy. It's becoming so that there's nowhere you can escape immigrants. My town has changed so much in the last few years. This one is the worst because I can't do a thing about it.
6) my friend who I genuinely feel close to is always working now
Generally apathetic atm. Now and again I'll get so down, I just hope a car will just plow into me and end it, this is one of those times.
Well, thanks for reading. Getting it out makes me feel better
>>28027152
It made me happier, but it's driving me insane right now
I still have no idea how to attract women
and now I'm getting these urges (because it felt good)
I knew there was some silly trickery
>>28024129
Benzos are the only thing that makes me feel normal, but if I keep taking them I will get addicted and ruin my life
I hate myself why can't I just be normal
I'm criminally behind schedule for my startup, but I can't get myself to work 12 hours a day like founders in the stories.
>>28027014
I guess... All the dreams I had have now shattered though, and I dont know any more. Im really stuck. Do you have any idea to break the cycle?
>>28024129
I work 55 hours a week doing sales, dealing with assholes who hate me. I'm a few months from promotion, where I would still be working a lot but managing rather than dealing with customers. So everyday is a struggle not to quit
I know what I must do, I just don't believe in the product and Its dealing with rich snobby people who talk down to me everyday.
>>28027172
sorry to say this but gambling to make a living is the stupidest fucking idea ive ever heard
>>28027193
Of course you want more of it, once something felt mind-blowingly good. It becomes like a drug. Yes you know how to attract women, if you put your mind to it. It's driving you insane because your inner "animal" wants more of it. So either decide to make it your primary goal, or put it off. But no half-measures here.
>>28024129
I gambled my parent's retirement money by day trading and lost most of it trying to short crude oil this week. Planning to kill myself before they find out.
I am torn apart between getting a gf just to see what it is like, or avoid women for life just because r9k made me too bitter to ever trust one, especially since I'm 25 and women my age are used up and full of baggage.
>>28027352
maybe you're right
maybe my mind is just tricking me into thinking I'm clueless, because my self-esteem is garbage
guess I'll give it a try
love is a numbers game anyway
>>28026751
le tortured genius
Fuck off
My thyroid is failing, and I'm running out of estrogen/spironolactone. I have pretty much 0 chance of getting a prescription or a new shipment of under-the-table HRT meds before that happens.
I'm ugly af as it is, I really don't need to go back to having testosterone shit all over my physique.
>>28027032
Working on connecting properly with other people is more important than your thesis, no matter how you look at it. Listen to what your mind and body tell you. If this is at the root of your depression (which it usually is), it's a desperate message for you to get out of your way before you can allow yourself to get other things done. Doesn't matter how important you tell yourself your thesis is.
I'm a depressed overachiever.
I pass every test with no effort but I still feel bored every day. I have no aspirations and am just steadily going towards whatever I am 'good' at. I only ever get asked out by girls who are way below my league and are just looking to sponge off me even though I'm not even a 200kg faggot like 3/4 of 4chan. I think I'm just lonely because I have so much spare time where I should be doing school work.
Any ideas? :'(
>>28027318
It's more like daytrading than gambling
>>28027125
How long you've been pretending?
> not a single girl has given me positive attention
> halfway wizard at 25
My biggest problem, like 90% of r9k, is nogf. I don't even know why I'm so undesirable.
>>28027518
Passing tests doesn't mean jack shit. If you have a lot of potential behind you, pick something and git gud at it.
>>28027518
Make some art? Quite fun and always challenging. And you can make the weirdest, sickest stuff you like;nobody needs to see it. Technique comes with time,no need to stress over talent.
>>28027600
Any ideas of what I should do? I'm a human calculator with a great memory. I'm no flawless but a fast learner and I'm good at talking to people in business (not social for shit though unless I know them)
>>28027588
would you have the balls to pursue it though? having a grill showing you attention and not doing anything about it sucks way worse because you beat yourself up for being a coward
>>28027559
>last 3 weeks I gave up completely
>before that was 2 weeks holidays
>before that it got everyday worse but I tried to go
>was 2 times at jobcenter last week, but got afraid and went home
I dont know what to do
>>28027198
Why do you think they make you feel normal?
Parents found out I skipped enrolling in college for this semester and I have just been hanging around the campus for a month and are furious. Not really feeling much about it though.
>>28027228
Have you crammed too much stuff in your to-do list? Or what do you mean by "behind schedule"?
>>28027588
it's all about trying t b h
If memory is your strength, you could try studying law.
A person who knows how to find loopholes is very valuable in general.
Perhaps not the most exciting option, but a valuable one nonetheless.
>>28027273
If you're not passionate about your work, you will regret it later and it will spill into your life in general. You won't feel meaningful. Is there something you always wanted to do but couldn't get yourself to?
September's my deadline. I'm supposed to have a mostly finished product then and run a Kickstarter to get me the funds I need for 3-6 extra months of polish.
However, I'm at least 3 months behind, having made an incorrect estimate about the total duration when i started last year (and it took me quite a while to get my shit together). So, it would be ready by December.
I don't have funds that can last until December, so I'll likely have to get back to being an employee for someone. Last time I tried it, it almost made me want to kill myself. (I was also extremely unfortunate and got to deal 1-1 with the worst client the company offered services to)
>>28027662
How do you think your parents will react if you opened up to them? Are you 100% sure they will kick you out or something?
>>28027152
the girl was a lesbian before we made out, and she said she liked it, is that a good thing?
I want to be a writer. I love making stories and worlds. Like I genuinely don't wanna do anything else. I don't even want to be a rich and famous author, doesn't have to be books, could be comic books. I just want something published, that's kind of my dream.
I have a finished novel that needs to go through some drafts, some friends have checked it too. I also have an idea I really want to write up, maybe not even publish but I want to write this story I have in mind.
At the same time, money's tight for me and I have no job. I mean I could write and do beer money esque online stuff but the amount of money you get for that is tiny.
I know the job market is shitty and it'd take my forever to find a job, though, and it'll probably be a job that's good pay but I hate and it ends up taking up all my time. At the same time, I have the qualifications to get a good job as long as I build up the experience.
So yeah, this is one of those 'Do I follow my dreams even though it might not get me a lot of money or even come true, or do I go for a job that pays well that I don't want to do' kind of things.
I mean my current train of thought for a long time was that I may as well try to get it published because if they accept it then I'm a published author, yay. If they reject it then big deal, I move on to the next publisher. If they all reject it, then it's not like I've moved further down the ladder in my current social status. It's not like I get shot with every rejection.
At the same time I'm sort of terrified that they'll end up slaughtering my manuscript and say I should never write again or something and they completely tear me apart. I mean there's self publishing too, but eh...
So yeah I dunno what to do, completely focus on writing and take the risk, completely focus on finding another career and possibly end up in a dead end job I hate, or try to juggle both somehow.
>>28027705
Did they yell at you, freak out, etc? What will happen next?
>>28027877
nah she probably hated it and lied to you so you can feel good about yourself
sucks really sorry famm
>>28027740
Why try when there's no indication of interest?
>>28027650
I think I would, but I'll get back to you once a girl shows me attention, and it's not bizarro world.
>>28027902
yeah she hated it so much that we repeated
btfo faggot
>>28027808
If you were actually motivated to avoid being an employee again, you would do everything you can to solve the Kickstarter situation. Let that sink in.
>>28027908
Interest can be raised
once a girl turned her face when I tried to kiss her, I proceeded to kiss her neck and she fell for it
Want to break up with girlfriend but she's mentally ill and I am the person she trusts the most.
It's shit.
>>28027877
Of course, you were a good kisser. Keep it up.
>>28027916
you're to young to hang around here kid, get out while you can SRS
Shit takes time. I'm already working much harder than I ever have before in my life. It's my limit.
being a dysfunctional human being
>>28027953
Tell me about her illness. What's her behavior like?
>>28027967
you have a good point, I'm 18, but I've been browsing here since I was underage b8
any damage that could be done is already done
>>28027963
cool
I gotta admit, I wasn't expecting much about it, everybody says their first kiss was disgusting, mine was stunning
>>28027888
We'll see in like 6 hours, they called me and said how dissapointed they are but no face to face yet.
>>28028021
Depressed, stressed out, attention seeking. She did have actual depression though. She also has panic attacks
>>28028085
attention seeking is normal for women
>>28027945
That's still begging for rejection.
>>28027826
>How do you think your parents will react if you opened up to them? Are you 100% sure they will kick you out or something?
my parents got a call from school even I am older than 18,
>my father slapped me
>used my MMA skills to defend me
I think they believe no word of me because I am "always lying" and depression and social anxiety is a excuse
>>28027881
If you really believe in your writing, go for it. Hell, go for it even if you don't believe. You're likely to have wild success than being shifty, even if you will suffer at first with the lack of money and stuff. Are you willing to risk for yourself?
I'm poor. Getting a better job isn't easy when there are 100+ applicants haha.
>>28028099
no it isn't
I knew she would accept it, because while she turned her face around, she was still hugging me
A girl said to my face that she liked me and agreed to go on a date with me. She then said today that she's just confused after her breakup and doesn't like me as more than a friend.
FeelsBadMan
>>28027881
Do it.
But do it fast. Write like a madman, and try to get a book done as soon as you can, even if you won't be satisfied with it. Then spam publishers until one accepts it and you'll be in. If it doesn't work out, get a job and keep trying until you succeed.
>>28028184
I meant cold approaching in general, not your kiss.
>>28028085
Does her behavior affect your life in a way you can't achieve your personal goals? It's one thing to be there for someone at their worst, but they are a "toxic person" for you if they inhibit your activity. What do you think?
>>28028272
why rejection matters at all?
i have no interests
i have no desires
i have no social contact
i have no reason to exist or to kill myself
I'm think I might be mildly schizophranic but don't have health insurance so I can't get evaluated without paying an arm and a leg, nor do I want medication.
>>28028137
If they don't believe you, you already lost their trust. Did they tell you to get a job or else you'll be gone? Or were they silent about it (except for your dad's reaction)? Why are they letting you browse the internet still?
>>28028301
> why rejection matters at all?
Normies, I swear. Is this your first day on r9k?
It proves you have no worth. That you're totally undesirable.
>>28024129
>don't make enough money to move out of parents house
>>28027881
The self-publishing route may work if you can self-promote yourself. If you're too shy then your book will just fade into the dark corners of Amazon. You sound like you have real passion though so maybe you can make your book good enough to get published. Just remember that most books by a new author get rejected a couple times. Don't jump to conclusions that because one person didn't take it that no one else will or that it's shit. For more information on publishers you could always go to writing forums that talk about it.
>>28027700
Because they kill my anxiety
also nice double dubs
>>28024129
I'm having a hard time doing college work and feel my my sanity going away, been having anxiety attacks lately. The problem isnt even having too much work to to, it isnt that much, its that I take time out of my day to do it, then procrastinate that whole time, I dont use the time to do things I love and I dont use it productively, it feels terrible to shut yourself in to do school work, you get all the negatives, but get none of the schoolwork done anyway.
>>28028375
>It proves you have no worth. That you're totally undesirable.
That's a severe lack of confidence right there bro
it can mean a million things
>you said dumb shit
>you weren't smooth enough
>you were too fast
>she didn't feel like it
why you gotta think everything is trying to put you down?
I have no idea what i want to do and i feel like i am wasting my time in cc just so i can maybe get some 60k a year wagecuck job in 4 years.
>>28028371
>mother shouting all the time
I learned to ignore it when I was in 6th grade
>Why are they letting you browse the internet still?
they took it away for month, but since I'm 18 i have it all the time
>mother threats to kick me out
>always telling me about muh future and you have to make shekel
>they don't realize that I am depressed even my brother has depression to and they know it
>when they ask me why I don't go I say nothing at all
I just cant talk about anything related to me
>>28028408
That's because you think being without anxiety is normal. Denying your feelings isn't supposed to be normal. Because you've been doing that for a long time, your anxiety spiraled out of control. So you need a new way of looking at your feelings. I know it's hard but you'll crash if you don't do therapy at some point.
>>28028304
dammit mate
have you already tried and failed to be a like everyone else ?
>>28024129
I have a problem with a girl, will post problem if anyone wants to hear/help out
>>28028511
What would you love to do even if you weren't paid for it?
>>28028534
>That's because you think being without anxiety is normal
I did not say that
I know that fear is important and part of everyone's live
I am in therapy, but so far I only feel worse
>>28028422
What do you do instead of the college work? You say it's nothing productive, you just browse r9k?
>>28028511
How do you think life should be lived? Be as detailed as possible.
>>28024129
Ny biggrst problem is that ive confined myself in my room for the past 4 years. Nobody knows who i am. Im a talentless ugly idiot who plays video games all day because there's nothing out there for me. I cant hold relationships because i provide nothing to friendships. Im not funny,have nothing to say because im not interested in most things and over all i have never experienced life. It also doesnt help that im a reakly really extremely shy person, i was that kid whi never said a word. I dont have any confidence because im short and disgusting, people dont even eant to affiliate themselves with me. The only conversations i get ate out of puty and the individuals im refering to are my family members. I am 21 years old now without any motivation to keeo on living. I find it strange to find so many people like me on this board because there was only one of me in school. I think most of you cann not relate with my issues.
>>28028514
Maybe they want to understand you, but they can't if you keep being unresponsive to them about these issues.
But if you know they'll just shut you up, you should go your own way. I'd be curious to talk to you more because I'm kind of in the same situation. If you want to give me your skype/kik it'd be pretty nice.
>>28028658
you can post it but you have to remember, most of us have no experience with girls other than a platonic hug if we were lucky.
>>28028658
I might be able to help, too ugly to get a girl but smooth online so ive had some internet relationships, bring it on
>>28028864
have no skype or kik(?)
>discord?
>>28028534
>That's because you think being without anxiety is normal.
i fuckin sweat when someone talks to me, even if it's a child
I am 100% confident normies don't have these problems
>>28028959
I don't know about discord. But you can easily make a skype/kik account. Mine is fieldmareschal55 on both. I'm OP btw.
>>28024129
Struggling with anxiety and depression for years. It's got to the point where I don't want to live any more but I have to stick around because I wouldn't want to upset my parents.
Been in and out of therapy but living with severe anxiety combined with depression is like being an animal. You can't make rational decisions and any decisions you make might be ruined by instinct and fear anyway.
People who don't understand anxiety tell me I need to get out my comfort zone and force myself to do things but I've been doing that for 8 years now. It's so inconsistent. I get panic attacks seeing my best mate then next weekend we do the same thing and I feel fine.
I can't plan my life and any plans I have made in the past have fallen through. I dreamt of being a translator and moving to Spain but I had to drop out of my second year of uni because I was miserable and getting panic attacks before class. I got an apprenticeship but again the same thing happened.
I'm constantly angry because I just want to end it but I can't.
It feels like I have no future but waiting for my dad to die and then finally being able to kill myself.
>>28028780
You haven't gotten out of your room for the past 4 years? What's your daily routine been like?
>>28029125
Playing video games a staying alive and clean
>>28029150
Do you have no friends at all, or close contact with people? How much time do you spend online?
>>28028780
i genuinely want to have your life
i'm a 22yo failed normie working to pay my rent
going to quit in a couple month to be a NEET, i'll beg for some gov money
see, maybe your life is not that bad mate
>>28029216
say that when your only achievement everyday is getting food from the shop or getting out of bed before mid day. It's fun for a bit but after a while it's a miserable prison, at least in my experience. My depression got WAY worse when I became full NEET.
>>28029125
>>28029175
just shut up you nosy kike
>>28029068
username not found (on kik)
I asked out my friend/crush of 5 years yesterday.
Turns out she's a lesbian.
>>28029244
that's because you never experienced work
you will enjoy it for the first 3 weeks, then you will slowly get back into depression
When i was younger and shut-down i never did anything i could regret, when i tried being a normie i fucking failed everything
I even failed my first time (couldnt get it hard, came in her pussy tho)
i swear it mate, you are not missing on anything
>>28029279
Try again.
Kik username fieldmareschal55
(also skype)
>>28029329
I worked my job for 5 months before I quit. I feel like I "experienced" enough really. Feels like some people just aren't cut out for life tbqh. I feel like I'm a defective person.
>>28029313
Sorry to hear that. At least now you now there's no chance and you can move on.
>>28029355
try my my username:
TheStronkest
>too lazy to make a skype acc also
>>28024129
College, work, crippling depression, the usual. Right now I would skullfuck you to Khorne for an ounce of premium quality marijiuana.
Dad is losing his job and I have a levels but am pretty sick.
Anyone...
I'm trying to get myself into trade school.
How long does it take? For say roofing?
School makes me dread and I fucking suck at school. Please help.
>>28029366
>I feel like I'm a defective person.
that's because you are totally defective
Can't you get some neetbux to live an independant and secluded life ?
>>28029392
OK I'll add you tomorrow because I don't have my phone.
>>28028902
>>28028916
alright boys, I'm socially autist but I am cyborg-ish
>notice this qt girl looking at me a lot
>looks at me right into my fucking eyes every time I see her
>eventually I get the balls to approach her after awhile of her doing this
>get told by her shes busy
>didn't see her for weeks after that
>now shes back, and starting to do it again
not sure what to do lads, not sure how to approach again either
was thinking about asking her if shes still busy, or asking why shes lookin at me all the time, bringing up that I notice it?
>>28024129
Failing this year right now.
Picrel
>>28029425
I'm living with my parents, paying them rent from my NEETbux and paying for my gym membership.
>>28029366
I feel the same way. Seriously hating myself too very much. I got fired. I hate my life so badly.
>>28029434
>there is that guy staring at me everytime at school
>i told him to fuck off and dodged him for a week
>see him again
>he keeps staring at me, i think i should call the cops if he harasses me again
>>28029404
>skullfuck you to Khorne
Sounds like what a slaaneshit would do.
Girlfriend is camping at coachella for 5 days with other dudes and shit doing coke and molly
when she gets back I'm probably going to break up with her
>>28029468
in my country you can rent a small appartment almost totally paid by the government and get 450euros a month for just having the citizenship
you can still manage to save up like 150euros at the end of the month
this is my goal, i'll be there soon, fuckin excited
>>28024129
Alcoholism, depression, and virginity, about equally.
I'm trying to cheat on a DMV vision test to get my license and struggling with the feasibility itself as well as the ethical implications of doing so.
>>28029481
yea whatever sloot i saw u mirin my arms
I'm theoretically finishing my bachelor this semester. can't be arsed to write my thesis though. Also there's a module on which we have to do weekly exercises which count towards the grade, and while I started out well, I can solve less and less each week, so barely gonna get a passing grade from exercises, and the exam itself is gonna suck too.
Also, unless I pass every module I've booked this semester I can kiss my bachelor goodbye.
Gonna crash and burn right before the finish line. Also thoughts about suicide slowly creeping back
>>28024129
have a bump lads
>>28029583
how in the world are you going to cheat on a DMV vision test? christ how shitty is your vision.
>>28029558
how do you like being such a weak cuckold?
>>28029838
I have 20/50 with glasses and you need 20/40. Figure I'll memorize all the different types of eye charts.
life is nothing but constant misery which I try to drown with perpetual drug use but it doesn't help I am real fucking close to just ending my life
I have a headache and I'm tired
It's only 11:30pm
I have one of "these moments" right now. When you just really depressed and you can't do anything but cry and think about how everything is bad
I'll never be normal
I'm going to bump this thread right now I swear
